May 10, 2025 • 27 mins
Today’s episode — one I’ve personally wrestled with — is called The Paradox of Power.
my email address gholamrezava@gmail.com
Twitter account is @rezava
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Welcome to Philosophy of Life.
I'm Reza Sanjideh.
Today's episode, one I'vepersonally wrestled with, is
called The Paradox of Power.
It's about a strange kind ofknowing when we understand
(00:23):
something is bad for us and wedo it anyway.
Addiction.
Impulse.
Desire.
They're not always blind.
Sometimes they're deliberate.
This is a story about thechoices we make, even when we
know they'll hurt.
It's about chasing what onlyresembles happiness and the
(00:44):
paradox of feeling powerfulwhile slowly unraveling.
As always, these podcasts aremade for listeners like you.
Your voice matters.
If this episode speaks to you,please like, share, and reach
out I'd love to hear from you.
Now, let's begin our journey.
(01:12):
We choose.
Today we're diving intosomething deeply human,
something we have all wrestledwith at some point.
Why do we do things we knowaren't good for us?
Why do we reach for the quickhit of pleasure, a late night
scroll, a drink?
a toxic relationship.
Even when we know better,there's a word for this.
(01:35):
It comes from ancient Greece,akrasia.
It means acting against yourbetter judgment.
But it's not just aboutweakness.
It's about chasing an illusion.
Let's unpack this idea through amoment that hit me hard, a
reflection called the illusionwe choose.
(01:55):
Picture this.
Someone once told me, Afterslipping back into addiction, I
know it's not good for me.
I do it anyway.
Not because I'm lost, butbecause I want to feel
something.
That stopped me in my tracks.
Because it's not just aboutaddiction.
It's about all of us.
(02:15):
That moment when you bingeNetflix instead of tackling your
work or stay in a relationshipthat controls you because it
feels safer than being alone.
These choices don't come fromignorance.
Sometimes we know exactly whatwe're doing.
We're chasing a flicker of lightin the dark, something that
feels like joy, until itdoesn't.
(02:37):
So what is akrasia really?
Aristotle and Plato wrestledwith this thousands of years
ago.
They called it a weakness ofwill.
When emotion overpowers reason,you know you should hit the gym,
but the couch feels so good.
You know you should study, Butyour phone is right there,
(02:59):
offering a quick dopamine hit.
It's not that we are clueless.
It's that we're human.
We're drawn to what feels goodin the moment.
That's what makes the illusionso powerful.
That drink that numbs.
That habit that hurts.
That scroll that swallows yourtime.
These aren't just bad choices.
(03:21):
They're escapes.
And modern psychology backs thisup.
Our brains are wired for instantrewards.
Ever heard of hyperbolicdiscounting?
It's why we'll pick a cookie nowover a healthier body later.
These illusions, they mimic joy,but they're fleeting.
And deep down, we know it.
(03:43):
But here's where it getsinteresting.
Akrasia isn't just aboutfailure.
It's about what we're reallyseeking.
That person battling addiction?
They weren't just chasing ahigh.
They were chasing a feeling.
Maybe connection.
Maybe relief.
Maybe just a moment of beingalive.
(04:04):
And in today's world, we'resurrounded by distractions that
feed into this cycle.
Social media, endless streaming,consumerism.
They're all designed to keep usreaching for the next quick fix.
And it's not laziness.
It's a deeper hunger.
a hunger for meaning.
(04:24):
When we choose these illusions,we're not being foolish.
We're trying to fill a void.
So how do we break the cycle?
First, recognize akrasia forwhat it is.
Not a moral failing, but a humantendency.
One trick, pre-commitmentdevices.
Set a timer.
Lock your phone in another room.
Make the bad choice harder toaccess.
(04:47):
Another strategy, reframerewards.
Instead of saying, ugh, I haveto work, Try.
I want to feel the pride offinishing.
Break tasks into tiny steps.
Write one sentence.
Do one push-up.
It adds up.
And don't underestimatemindfulness.
Sometimes, just noticing theurge without acting on it is
(05:11):
enough to create space.
Enough to choose differently.
But here's the deeper fix.
Address the void.
If we're chasing illusion tofeel something...
What do we actually need?
Maybe it's connection.
Call a friend instead of likingtheir post.
Maybe it's purpose.
Journal.
Reflect.
(05:31):
Figure out what lights you up.
Therapy.
Self-compassion.
Even small acts of courage.
Like saying no to a habit that'sharming you, all of it helps.
The goal isn't perfection.
It's progress.
Choosing what aligns with whoyou want to become.
not just what feels good for asecond.
(05:54):
Akrasia reminds us we're notrobots.
We're messy.
We're emotional.
We're beautifully flawed.
The illusions we choose, whetherit's a drink, a distraction, or
a scroll, aren't the enemy.
They're signals.
They're trying to tell ussomething.
So next time you catch yourselfreaching for that quick fix,
(06:15):
pause.
Ask, what do I really need rightnow?
What's the flicker of light I'mchasing?
And is there a better way tofind it?
Part 2.
Power or Surrender Are thesechoices a form of power?
(06:36):
Us owning our freedom?
Or are they, surrender, cleverlydisguised as strength?
And what does it mean to betruly free in the face of our
own contradictions?
This is where we move fromakrasia, the act of knowing
better yet doing the opposite,into something even deeper.
(06:56):
It's not just about weakness.
It's about what we're reallychasing.
Last time, we talked aboutillusions, the drink, the
scroll, the toxic pattern.
We said they weren't mistakes.
They were trades.
But now we ask, when we makethose trades, Are we claiming
(07:17):
power or giving it up?
Jean-Paul Sartre, the Frenchphilosopher, once said, Freedom
is what you do with what's beendone to you.
It sounds abstract, even crypticat first, but it's actually
quite grounded.
He's saying you don't get tochoose your trauma, your
(07:38):
addiction, your upbringing, yourwiring, but you do get to choose
how you respond to it.
That's your freedom, not theabsence of pain, but the power
to shape your life in responseto it.
But what if what's been done toyou has left you broken?
(07:59):
What if every time you try tochoose, it feels like the past
is still choosing for you?
I remember someone once said, Idon't use to escape.
I used to feel like I am incharge, like no one else is
steering my life but me.
And that's the paradox, when wechoose something harmful because
(08:20):
it's ours to choose, even if itwrecks us, even if it destroys
everything we care about.
Because in that moment, it feelslike power.
It feels like rebellion.
It feels like freedom.
We'd rather go down driving thansit quietly in the passenger
seat of someone else's life.
(08:40):
But here's where Sartrechallenges us.
Freedom isn't just about doingwhatever you want.
It's about doing what alignswith your deeper self, with who
you're becoming, even when it'shard, even when it hurts.
Think about this.
If you stay up gaming instead ofpreparing for a job interview,
(09:02):
are you exercising freedom orare you surrendering to impulse
and calling it power?
That's the trick of akrasia.
It can disguise itself as astrength, but more often it's us
handing the reign to ourimpulses.
So how do we tell the differencebetween true power and surrender
masked as control?
(09:24):
Sartre says, takeresponsibility, not just for
what you do, but for who you'rebecoming through what you do.
If you keep choosing theillusion, the comfort, the
scroll, the fix, you're not justavoiding discomfort.
You're shaping a version ofyourself that fears growth.
(09:46):
But when you say no to thatillusion, when you set a
boundary, break a pattern, orchoose the hard truth over the
easy high, you're buildingsomething different.
You're reclaiming power, not inthe loud, rebellious way, but in
the quiet, resilient way thatactually transforms you.
(10:08):
It's not about perfection.
You're going to slip.
You're going to pick the easything sometimes.
But each time you reflect, eachtime you choose again, you're
reclaiming what Sartre meant byfreedom.
The power to take what life hasdone to you and build something
(10:30):
meaningful with it.
Part three, the resemblance ofhappiness.
We've all felt it, that rushfrom a perfectly timed social
media post, a night of bingewatching, or a quick win like
(10:54):
closing a deal.
It feels good, like happiness.
But then it fades, and suddenlywe're chasing the next hit.
There's a line that's been stuckin my head for days.
We've gotten used to imitations,dopamine hits, Empty laughs,
perfectly filtered moments.
But they fade.
(11:15):
It's like drinking salt waterwhen you're thirsty.
For a second, it feels likerelief.
But it only leaves you moreparched.
That's the trap of akrasia,false joy.
It looks like happiness.
It even feels like happiness.
But it doesn't last.
And that's what makes it sodangerous.
(11:35):
Because it almost works.
This becomes clearer when youlook at how akrasia loops us
back.
We know the late night scrollwon't fulfill us.
We know that extra drink won'tlift the weight we're carrying,
but we still reach for them.
These moments give us a hit, aspike of dopamine, but then the
(11:56):
crash comes, and it leaves usemptier than before.
Neuroscience backs this up.
Those quick highs, likes on X,Sugar rushes, impulsive
purchases light up the brain'sreward system, but the relief is
temporary.
The emptiness that follows isreal, and because it almost
feels like joy, we go back againand again, even when it costs us
(12:23):
our energy, our time, ourhealth, even our dreams.
So how do we tell thedifference?
How do we know what realhappiness actually feels like?
Here's a clue.
Real happiness isn't a spike.
It's not a surge.
It's steadier, quieter, morecomplete.
Think back.
(12:43):
When was the last time you felttruly content, not just excited,
but whole?
Maybe it was a quiet moment withsomeone you love, or finishing a
project you poured yourselfinto, or just sitting still,
without the need to be anywhereelse.
That's not a high.
That's peace.
And unlike salt water, itnourishes.
(13:04):
fills you instead of drainingyou.
Psychologists like MartinSeligman call this deeper form
of happiness eudaimonia, a Greekword that means flourishing.
It's not about chasing pleasure.
It's about living with purpose,with meaning, with connection.
(13:25):
This links back to Sartre's ideaof freedom from part two.
Freedom is what you do withwhat's been done to you.
If that's true, then realhappiness comes from making
choices that reflect who we wantto be, not just what feels good
in the moment.
And that's what Akrasia tries tosteal from us.
(13:48):
It whispers, take the easy path,the fun one, the familiar one.
But behind the ease isemptiness.
So let's get practical.
How do we break the cycle?
How do we stop mistaking saltwater for real water?
First, get clear on yourdefinition of happiness.
(14:08):
Journal about a time you feltfulfilled.
What were you doing?
Who were you with?
Why did it matter?
That's your compass.
Second, learn to recognize thetraps, the quick fix, the toxic
loop, the thing that almostworks.
Pause and ask, will this nourishme or leave me thirstier?
(14:31):
Third, start building towardeudaimonia.
slowly steadily that might meanpracticing gratitude learning a
new skill or doing one smallthing each day that aligns with
your deeper values and don'tforget connection real joy often
comes from relationships thatlift us up not one that drain us
(14:55):
let me be clear this isn't aboutrejecting pleasure a good laugh
a fun night out they matter toobut the danger is mistaking
those moments for the wholepicture, letting Akrasia trick
us into settling for the copywhen we were made for the real
thing.
The reflection says it best,false joy is dangerous because
(15:20):
it almost works, but we weren'tmeant for almost, we were meant
for enough, for meaning, for joythat lasts, and we deserve to
stop settling.
So far on this journey, we'veexplored the illusions we chase,
(15:43):
and why we keep choosing them,even when we know better.
In part one, we unpackedakrasia, acting against our
better judgment, reaching forfleeting highs like a habit that
hurts.
In part two, we asked if thosechoices are power or surrender,
with sattva reminding us thatfreedom is what we do with
(16:06):
what's been done to us.
In part three, we explored whatreal happiness feels like and
how false joys are like saltwater, leaving us thirstier.
Now, we're digging into the whybehind all of this.
Why do we keep reaching for whathurts?
Here's a raw truth I can'tshake.
(16:26):
Sometimes we don't chooseharmful things because we're
clueless.
We choose them because we'redesperate.
When lives start slippingthrough your fingers, When your
relationship feels hollow, whensuccess feels empty, when you
look in the mirror and barelyrecognize yourself, you start
(16:47):
looking for something to anchoryou, something intense,
something immediate.
That's why people drink.
That's why they self-harm.
That's why they return to thething they swore they'd never
touch again, not because theydon't know better, but because
for one fleeting second, itfeels real.
(17:08):
It's like a spark in the dark, aflash of something alive, even
if it burns.
Someone once told me, this isn'ta mistake, it's a trade, short
pleasure for long pain.
And I keep making the same deal.
That's a crazier at its raws,not just a lapse, a deliberate
exchange.
(17:29):
We trade long-term peace for abrief moment of intensity.
We give up connection,stability, even dreams.
Just to feel something.
Some might call itself-destruction.
But maybe it's something else.
Maybe it's survival throughfire.
Because sometimes burning feelsmore alive than being numb.
(17:52):
This desperation ties everythingtogether.
Back in part 3, we called falsejoy salt water.
Something that mimics happiness,but leaves us parched.
But this isn't just aboutchasing joy.
It's about chasing life.
When nothing else feels real,even pain becomes a kind of
(18:12):
proof.
That drink is not just numbing.
It's a moment of defiance.
That toxic relationship is notjust familiar.
It's a rollercoaster.
Something that proves you'restill here.
Even endlessly scrolling eggscan feel like a lifeline.
It's intense.
It's immediate.
(18:33):
It's something.
But here's the cost.
Every time we make that trade,we pay with pieces of ourselves.
Short pleasure, long pain,missed opportunities, strained
relationships, a growingdistance between who we are and
who we want to be.
Sartre's idea of freedom frompart two confronts us again.
(18:55):
Freedom isn't just choosing whatfeels good.
It's choosing what builds a lifeworth living.
If we keep making the same deal,We're not just surviving.
We're surrendering to a cyclethat's burning us out.
So, how do we redirect thatdesperation?
How do we find anchors thatdon't destroy us?
(19:15):
First, acknowledge the hunger.
That craving for intensity isn'twrong.
It's human.
It's a sign that you're yearningfor something real.
But there are better ways tofeel alive.
Maybe it's creating something.
A poem.
A painting.
A business.
Maybe it's movement.
Running until your lungs burn.
(19:37):
Not to escape, but to feel yourstrength.
Maybe it's connection.
A real, messy, vulnerableconversation.
Something that grounds youwithout the crash.
Second, break the trade.
When you're tempted to reach forthat old anchor, pause.
Ask, what am I really cravingright now?
(20:00):
If it's aliveness, What else cangive you that without burning
you down?
Journaling helps.
Track your patterns.
Spot the trades you're making.
Identify the triggers.
Third, build new anchors.
Small, meaningful habits.
Daily gratitude.
Learning a new skill.
Volunteering.
(20:20):
These don't spike and crash.
They root you.
They build you.
And don't go it alone.
Find people who lift you.
who remind you that you don'thave to burn just to feel alive.
(20:40):
Part 5.
What we're really looking for.
Over the past four parts, we'veseen a crazier for what it
really is.
Not just weakness, but a deeplyhuman struggle.
A struggle to feel somethingreal.
Whether it's a drink that numbs,A scroll that distracts?
Or a relationship that controls?
(21:03):
These aren't just bad habits.
They're flickers of light wereach for in the dark.
But we've also seen the cost.
False joy always leaves usthirstier.
The trade, pleasure now, painlater, wears us down.
It burns us out.
And yet, there's hope.
Sartre's words keep echoing.
(21:25):
Freedom is what you do now.
with what's been done to you.
We're not doomed to make thesame deal over and over.
We can choose differently.
We can build a life that doesn'tjust feel alive for a second,
but stays alive, day after day.
So, what does it mean to breakfree?
It doesn't mean you'll neverfeel tempted.
(21:48):
It doesn't mean you'll neverslip.
It means you start shifting thepattern, choosing what nourishes
over what numbs.
what grounds you, over whatburns you.
Real freedom, in Sartre's sense,is taking the raw material of
your life, the pain, thecravings, the confusion, and
(22:09):
shaping it into something true.
It's saying, I see the illusion.
I'm done chasing it.
I want what lasts.
That's where real happinesscomes in, the kind we explored
back in Part 3.
It's not the dopamine rush, froma like on X.
It's the quiet pride of livingwith purpose, the warmth of real
(22:33):
connection, the peace of knowingyou're on your path.
But let's be honest, breakingfree is hard.
Akrasia is sneaky.
Illusions are everywhere,promising quick fixes that never
deliver.
So how do we make it stick?
First, know your anchors.
In part four, we talked aboutreaching for something anything
(22:55):
to feel grounded.
Instead of reaching for whatharms, find anchors that hold.
For me, it's journaling.
Every morning I write.
It's like a conversation withmyself.
It's steadying, centering.
Maybe for you, it's walking innature, calling a friend,
reading, creating.
Find the things that make youfeel alive without the crash.
(23:19):
Second, redefine aliveness.
We chase intensity becausenumbness feels like death.
But aliveness doesn't alwaysmean fire.
It can be a slow burn.
The quiet effort of buildingsomething meaningful.
A career.
A relationship.
A purpose.
Try this.
Write down one thing you want tocreate this year.
(23:43):
Just one.
Then break it into small, doablesteps.
One step a day.
That's momentum.
That's surreal.
Third, Own your freedom.
Remember Sartre's challenge.
No matter what's happened toyou, you choose what happens
next.
So when akrasia pulls you towardthe old deal, the illusion, the
(24:05):
quick hit, the shortcut, pauseand ask, is this who I want to
be?
That pause is your power.
That moment of clarity.
That's you stepping intofreedom.
And if you mess up, don'tspiral.
Self-compassion is key.
Say, I chose the illusion, but Isee it now.
(24:27):
What's my next move?
Finally, build a life, not amoment.
Everything we've talked about,dopamine hits, empty highs,
false joy, they're all aboutstealing moments.
They feel good now, but theytake away your future.
Real happiness, real freedom isabout the long game.
(24:48):
Surround yourself with peoplewho inspire you.
Set goals that stretch you.
Keep checking in.
Ask, am I chasing illusions orbuilding something real?
That's what the illusion wechoose has been pointing us
toward this whole time.
Not just seeing the trap, butstepping out of it.
(25:10):
You are not your impulses.
You are not your past.
You are what you choose rightnow.
As we close this episode, I wantyou to hold on to this.
(25:31):
You are not stuck.
Akrasia doesn't own you.
The trade, sure pleasure forlong pain.
It's steep, yes, but it's notpermanent.
You have the freedom to choosedifferently, to choose what
nourishes, what grounds, whattruly makes you feel alive.
(25:52):
Sartre would call that yourfreedom, not to erase the pain,
but to shape it into somethingreal.
So let me ask you this.
What's one illusion you're readyto let go of?
What's one choice you can maketoday to live more freely, more
fully?
The people we call broken, theyoften know more than we think.
(26:16):
They're not confused.
They're not blind.
They're just making a trade, aburst of light in exchange for a
longer shadow.
Because sometimes, Even a shortmoment of warmth feels worth the
fire.
We don't always choose the flamebecause we're weak.
Sometimes it's because we'veforgotten what warmth feels
(26:36):
like.
So I leave you with this finalquestion.
What does happiness feel like toyou?
And how do you know when it'sreal?
Share your thoughts on X orsimply email me.
I'd love to hear how you'rebreaking free and what anchors
you're finding.
This journey has been real, andI am deeply grateful to walk it
(26:59):
with you.
Keep reflecting, keep choosing,and keep building a life that's
yours.
This is Reza Sanjide, and asalways, this podcast is for
people like you.
Welcome to Philosophy of Life.
I'm Reza Sanjideh.
Today's episode, one I'vepersonally wrestled with, is
called The Paradox of Power.
It's about a strange kind ofknowing when we understand
(00:23):
something is bad for us and wedo it anyway.
Addiction.
Impulse.
Desire.
They're not always blind.
Sometimes they're deliberate.
This is a story about thechoices we make, even when we
know they'll hurt.
It's about chasing what onlyresembles happiness and the
(00:44):
paradox of feeling powerfulwhile slowly unraveling.
As always, these podcasts aremade for listeners like you.
Your voice matters.
If this episode speaks to you,please like, share, and reach
out I'd love to hear from you.
Now, let's begin our journey.
(01:12):
We choose.
Today we're diving intosomething deeply human,
something we have all wrestledwith at some point.
Why do we do things we knowaren't good for us?
Why do we reach for the quickhit of pleasure, a late night
scroll, a drink?
a toxic relationship.
Even when we know better,there's a word for this.
(01:35):
It comes from ancient Greece,akrasia.
It means acting against yourbetter judgment.
But it's not just aboutweakness.
It's about chasing an illusion.
Let's unpack this idea through amoment that hit me hard, a
reflection called the illusionwe choose.
(01:55):
Picture this.
Someone once told me, Afterslipping back into addiction, I
know it's not good for me.
I do it anyway.
Not because I'm lost, butbecause I want to feel
something.
That stopped me in my tracks.
Because it's not just aboutaddiction.
It's about all of us.
(02:15):
That moment when you bingeNetflix instead of tackling your
work or stay in a relationshipthat controls you because it
feels safer than being alone.
These choices don't come fromignorance.
Sometimes we know exactly whatwe're doing.
We're chasing a flicker of lightin the dark, something that
feels like joy, until itdoesn't.
(02:37):
So what is akrasia really?
Aristotle and Plato wrestledwith this thousands of years
ago.
They called it a weakness ofwill.
When emotion overpowers reason,you know you should hit the gym,
but the couch feels so good.
You know you should study, Butyour phone is right there,
(02:59):
offering a quick dopamine hit.
It's not that we are clueless.
It's that we're human.
We're drawn to what feels goodin the moment.
That's what makes the illusionso powerful.
That drink that numbs.
That habit that hurts.
That scroll that swallows yourtime.
These aren't just bad choices.
(03:21):
They're escapes.
And modern psychology backs thisup.
Our brains are wired for instantrewards.
Ever heard of hyperbolicdiscounting?
It's why we'll pick a cookie nowover a healthier body later.
These illusions, they mimic joy,but they're fleeting.
And deep down, we know it.
(03:43):
But here's where it getsinteresting.
Akrasia isn't just aboutfailure.
It's about what we're reallyseeking.
That person battling addiction?
They weren't just chasing ahigh.
They were chasing a feeling.
Maybe connection.
Maybe relief.
Maybe just a moment of beingalive.
(04:04):
And in today's world, we'resurrounded by distractions that
feed into this cycle.
Social media, endless streaming,consumerism.
They're all designed to keep usreaching for the next quick fix.
And it's not laziness.
It's a deeper hunger.
a hunger for meaning.
(04:24):
When we choose these illusions,we're not being foolish.
We're trying to fill a void.
So how do we break the cycle?
First, recognize akrasia forwhat it is.
Not a moral failing, but a humantendency.
One trick, pre-commitmentdevices.
Set a timer.
Lock your phone in another room.
Make the bad choice harder toaccess.
(04:47):
Another strategy, reframerewards.
Instead of saying, ugh, I haveto work, Try.
I want to feel the pride offinishing.
Break tasks into tiny steps.
Write one sentence.
Do one push-up.
It adds up.
And don't underestimatemindfulness.
Sometimes, just noticing theurge without acting on it is
(05:11):
enough to create space.
Enough to choose differently.
But here's the deeper fix.
Address the void.
If we're chasing illusion tofeel something...
What do we actually need?
Maybe it's connection.
Call a friend instead of likingtheir post.
Maybe it's purpose.
Journal.
Reflect.
(05:31):
Figure out what lights you up.
Therapy.
Self-compassion.
Even small acts of courage.
Like saying no to a habit that'sharming you, all of it helps.
The goal isn't perfection.
It's progress.
Choosing what aligns with whoyou want to become.
not just what feels good for asecond.
(05:54):
Akrasia reminds us we're notrobots.
We're messy.
We're emotional.
We're beautifully flawed.
The illusions we choose, whetherit's a drink, a distraction, or
a scroll, aren't the enemy.
They're signals.
They're trying to tell ussomething.
So next time you catch yourselfreaching for that quick fix,
(06:15):
pause.
Ask, what do I really need rightnow?
What's the flicker of light I'mchasing?
And is there a better way tofind it?
Part 2.
Power or Surrender Are thesechoices a form of power?
(06:36):
Us owning our freedom?
Or are they, surrender, cleverlydisguised as strength?
And what does it mean to betruly free in the face of our
own contradictions?
This is where we move fromakrasia, the act of knowing
better yet doing the opposite,into something even deeper.
(06:56):
It's not just about weakness.
It's about what we're reallychasing.
Last time, we talked aboutillusions, the drink, the
scroll, the toxic pattern.
We said they weren't mistakes.
They were trades.
But now we ask, when we makethose trades, Are we claiming
(07:17):
power or giving it up?
Jean-Paul Sartre, the Frenchphilosopher, once said, Freedom
is what you do with what's beendone to you.
It sounds abstract, even crypticat first, but it's actually
quite grounded.
He's saying you don't get tochoose your trauma, your
(07:38):
addiction, your upbringing, yourwiring, but you do get to choose
how you respond to it.
That's your freedom, not theabsence of pain, but the power
to shape your life in responseto it.
But what if what's been done toyou has left you broken?
(07:59):
What if every time you try tochoose, it feels like the past
is still choosing for you?
I remember someone once said, Idon't use to escape.
I used to feel like I am incharge, like no one else is
steering my life but me.
And that's the paradox, when wechoose something harmful because
(08:20):
it's ours to choose, even if itwrecks us, even if it destroys
everything we care about.
Because in that moment, it feelslike power.
It feels like rebellion.
It feels like freedom.
We'd rather go down driving thansit quietly in the passenger
seat of someone else's life.
(08:40):
But here's where Sartrechallenges us.
Freedom isn't just about doingwhatever you want.
It's about doing what alignswith your deeper self, with who
you're becoming, even when it'shard, even when it hurts.
Think about this.
If you stay up gaming instead ofpreparing for a job interview,
(09:02):
are you exercising freedom orare you surrendering to impulse
and calling it power?
That's the trick of akrasia.
It can disguise itself as astrength, but more often it's us
handing the reign to ourimpulses.
So how do we tell the differencebetween true power and surrender
masked as control?
(09:24):
Sartre says, takeresponsibility, not just for
what you do, but for who you'rebecoming through what you do.
If you keep choosing theillusion, the comfort, the
scroll, the fix, you're not justavoiding discomfort.
You're shaping a version ofyourself that fears growth.
(09:46):
But when you say no to thatillusion, when you set a
boundary, break a pattern, orchoose the hard truth over the
easy high, you're buildingsomething different.
You're reclaiming power, not inthe loud, rebellious way, but in
the quiet, resilient way thatactually transforms you.
(10:08):
It's not about perfection.
You're going to slip.
You're going to pick the easything sometimes.
But each time you reflect, eachtime you choose again, you're
reclaiming what Sartre meant byfreedom.
The power to take what life hasdone to you and build something
(10:30):
meaningful with it.
Part three, the resemblance ofhappiness.
We've all felt it, that rushfrom a perfectly timed social
media post, a night of bingewatching, or a quick win like
(10:54):
closing a deal.
It feels good, like happiness.
But then it fades, and suddenlywe're chasing the next hit.
There's a line that's been stuckin my head for days.
We've gotten used to imitations,dopamine hits, Empty laughs,
perfectly filtered moments.
But they fade.
(11:15):
It's like drinking salt waterwhen you're thirsty.
For a second, it feels likerelief.
But it only leaves you moreparched.
That's the trap of akrasia,false joy.
It looks like happiness.
It even feels like happiness.
But it doesn't last.
And that's what makes it sodangerous.
(11:35):
Because it almost works.
This becomes clearer when youlook at how akrasia loops us
back.
We know the late night scrollwon't fulfill us.
We know that extra drink won'tlift the weight we're carrying,
but we still reach for them.
These moments give us a hit, aspike of dopamine, but then the
(11:56):
crash comes, and it leaves usemptier than before.
Neuroscience backs this up.
Those quick highs, likes on X,Sugar rushes, impulsive
purchases light up the brain'sreward system, but the relief is
temporary.
The emptiness that follows isreal, and because it almost
feels like joy, we go back againand again, even when it costs us
(12:23):
our energy, our time, ourhealth, even our dreams.
So how do we tell thedifference?
How do we know what realhappiness actually feels like?
Here's a clue.
Real happiness isn't a spike.
It's not a surge.
It's steadier, quieter, morecomplete.
Think back.
(12:43):
When was the last time you felttruly content, not just excited,
but whole?
Maybe it was a quiet moment withsomeone you love, or finishing a
project you poured yourselfinto, or just sitting still,
without the need to be anywhereelse.
That's not a high.
That's peace.
And unlike salt water, itnourishes.
(13:04):
fills you instead of drainingyou.
Psychologists like MartinSeligman call this deeper form
of happiness eudaimonia, a Greekword that means flourishing.
It's not about chasing pleasure.
It's about living with purpose,with meaning, with connection.
(13:25):
This links back to Sartre's ideaof freedom from part two.
Freedom is what you do withwhat's been done to you.
If that's true, then realhappiness comes from making
choices that reflect who we wantto be, not just what feels good
in the moment.
And that's what Akrasia tries tosteal from us.
(13:48):
It whispers, take the easy path,the fun one, the familiar one.
But behind the ease isemptiness.
So let's get practical.
How do we break the cycle?
How do we stop mistaking saltwater for real water?
First, get clear on yourdefinition of happiness.
(14:08):
Journal about a time you feltfulfilled.
What were you doing?
Who were you with?
Why did it matter?
That's your compass.
Second, learn to recognize thetraps, the quick fix, the toxic
loop, the thing that almostworks.
Pause and ask, will this nourishme or leave me thirstier?
(14:31):
Third, start building towardeudaimonia.
slowly steadily that might meanpracticing gratitude learning a
new skill or doing one smallthing each day that aligns with
your deeper values and don'tforget connection real joy often
comes from relationships thatlift us up not one that drain us
(14:55):
let me be clear this isn't aboutrejecting pleasure a good laugh
a fun night out they matter toobut the danger is mistaking
those moments for the wholepicture, letting Akrasia trick
us into settling for the copywhen we were made for the real
thing.
The reflection says it best,false joy is dangerous because
(15:20):
it almost works, but we weren'tmeant for almost, we were meant
for enough, for meaning, for joythat lasts, and we deserve to
stop settling.
So far on this journey, we'veexplored the illusions we chase,
(15:43):
and why we keep choosing them,even when we know better.
In part one, we unpackedakrasia, acting against our
better judgment, reaching forfleeting highs like a habit that
hurts.
In part two, we asked if thosechoices are power or surrender,
with sattva reminding us thatfreedom is what we do with
(16:06):
what's been done to us.
In part three, we explored whatreal happiness feels like and
how false joys are like saltwater, leaving us thirstier.
Now, we're digging into the whybehind all of this.
Why do we keep reaching for whathurts?
Here's a raw truth I can'tshake.
(16:26):
Sometimes we don't chooseharmful things because we're
clueless.
We choose them because we'redesperate.
When lives start slippingthrough your fingers, When your
relationship feels hollow, whensuccess feels empty, when you
look in the mirror and barelyrecognize yourself, you start
(16:47):
looking for something to anchoryou, something intense,
something immediate.
That's why people drink.
That's why they self-harm.
That's why they return to thething they swore they'd never
touch again, not because theydon't know better, but because
for one fleeting second, itfeels real.
(17:08):
It's like a spark in the dark, aflash of something alive, even
if it burns.
Someone once told me, this isn'ta mistake, it's a trade, short
pleasure for long pain.
And I keep making the same deal.
That's a crazier at its raws,not just a lapse, a deliberate
exchange.
(17:29):
We trade long-term peace for abrief moment of intensity.
We give up connection,stability, even dreams.
Just to feel something.
Some might call itself-destruction.
But maybe it's something else.
Maybe it's survival throughfire.
Because sometimes burning feelsmore alive than being numb.
(17:52):
This desperation ties everythingtogether.
Back in part 3, we called falsejoy salt water.
Something that mimics happiness,but leaves us parched.
But this isn't just aboutchasing joy.
It's about chasing life.
When nothing else feels real,even pain becomes a kind of
(18:12):
proof.
That drink is not just numbing.
It's a moment of defiance.
That toxic relationship is notjust familiar.
It's a rollercoaster.
Something that proves you'restill here.
Even endlessly scrolling eggscan feel like a lifeline.
It's intense.
It's immediate.
(18:33):
It's something.
But here's the cost.
Every time we make that trade,we pay with pieces of ourselves.
Short pleasure, long pain,missed opportunities, strained
relationships, a growingdistance between who we are and
who we want to be.
Sartre's idea of freedom frompart two confronts us again.
(18:55):
Freedom isn't just choosing whatfeels good.
It's choosing what builds a lifeworth living.
If we keep making the same deal,We're not just surviving.
We're surrendering to a cyclethat's burning us out.
So, how do we redirect thatdesperation?
How do we find anchors thatdon't destroy us?
(19:15):
First, acknowledge the hunger.
That craving for intensity isn'twrong.
It's human.
It's a sign that you're yearningfor something real.
But there are better ways tofeel alive.
Maybe it's creating something.
A poem.
A painting.
A business.
Maybe it's movement.
Running until your lungs burn.
(19:37):
Not to escape, but to feel yourstrength.
Maybe it's connection.
A real, messy, vulnerableconversation.
Something that grounds youwithout the crash.
Second, break the trade.
When you're tempted to reach forthat old anchor, pause.
Ask, what am I really cravingright now?
(20:00):
If it's aliveness, What else cangive you that without burning
you down?
Journaling helps.
Track your patterns.
Spot the trades you're making.
Identify the triggers.
Third, build new anchors.
Small, meaningful habits.
Daily gratitude.
Learning a new skill.
Volunteering.
(20:20):
These don't spike and crash.
They root you.
They build you.
And don't go it alone.
Find people who lift you.
who remind you that you don'thave to burn just to feel alive.
(20:40):
Part 5.
What we're really looking for.
Over the past four parts, we'veseen a crazier for what it
really is.
Not just weakness, but a deeplyhuman struggle.
A struggle to feel somethingreal.
Whether it's a drink that numbs,A scroll that distracts?
Or a relationship that controls?
(21:03):
These aren't just bad habits.
They're flickers of light wereach for in the dark.
But we've also seen the cost.
False joy always leaves usthirstier.
The trade, pleasure now, painlater, wears us down.
It burns us out.
And yet, there's hope.
Sartre's words keep echoing.
(21:25):
Freedom is what you do now.
with what's been done to you.
We're not doomed to make thesame deal over and over.
We can choose differently.
We can build a life that doesn'tjust feel alive for a second,
but stays alive, day after day.
So, what does it mean to breakfree?
It doesn't mean you'll neverfeel tempted.
(21:48):
It doesn't mean you'll neverslip.
It means you start shifting thepattern, choosing what nourishes
over what numbs.
what grounds you, over whatburns you.
Real freedom, in Sartre's sense,is taking the raw material of
your life, the pain, thecravings, the confusion, and
(22:09):
shaping it into something true.
It's saying, I see the illusion.
I'm done chasing it.
I want what lasts.
That's where real happinesscomes in, the kind we explored
back in Part 3.
It's not the dopamine rush, froma like on X.
It's the quiet pride of livingwith purpose, the warmth of real
(22:33):
connection, the peace of knowingyou're on your path.
But let's be honest, breakingfree is hard.
Akrasia is sneaky.
Illusions are everywhere,promising quick fixes that never
deliver.
So how do we make it stick?
First, know your anchors.
In part four, we talked aboutreaching for something anything
(22:55):
to feel grounded.
Instead of reaching for whatharms, find anchors that hold.
For me, it's journaling.
Every morning I write.
It's like a conversation withmyself.
It's steadying, centering.
Maybe for you, it's walking innature, calling a friend,
reading, creating.
Find the things that make youfeel alive without the crash.
(23:19):
Second, redefine aliveness.
We chase intensity becausenumbness feels like death.
But aliveness doesn't alwaysmean fire.
It can be a slow burn.
The quiet effort of buildingsomething meaningful.
A career.
A relationship.
A purpose.
Try this.
Write down one thing you want tocreate this year.
(23:43):
Just one.
Then break it into small, doablesteps.
One step a day.
That's momentum.
That's surreal.
Third, Own your freedom.
Remember Sartre's challenge.
No matter what's happened toyou, you choose what happens
next.
So when akrasia pulls you towardthe old deal, the illusion, the
(24:05):
quick hit, the shortcut, pauseand ask, is this who I want to
be?
That pause is your power.
That moment of clarity.
That's you stepping intofreedom.
And if you mess up, don'tspiral.
Self-compassion is key.
Say, I chose the illusion, but Isee it now.
(24:27):
What's my next move?
Finally, build a life, not amoment.
Everything we've talked about,dopamine hits, empty highs,
false joy, they're all aboutstealing moments.
They feel good now, but theytake away your future.
Real happiness, real freedom isabout the long game.
(24:48):
Surround yourself with peoplewho inspire you.
Set goals that stretch you.
Keep checking in.
Ask, am I chasing illusions orbuilding something real?
That's what the illusion wechoose has been pointing us
toward this whole time.
Not just seeing the trap, butstepping out of it.
(25:10):
You are not your impulses.
You are not your past.
You are what you choose rightnow.
As we close this episode, I wantyou to hold on to this.
(25:31):
You are not stuck.
Akrasia doesn't own you.
The trade, sure pleasure forlong pain.
It's steep, yes, but it's notpermanent.
You have the freedom to choosedifferently, to choose what
nourishes, what grounds, whattruly makes you feel alive.
(25:52):
Sartre would call that yourfreedom, not to erase the pain,
but to shape it into somethingreal.
So let me ask you this.
What's one illusion you're readyto let go of?
What's one choice you can maketoday to live more freely, more
fully?
The people we call broken, theyoften know more than we think.
(26:16):
They're not confused.
They're not blind.
They're just making a trade, aburst of light in exchange for a
longer shadow.
Because sometimes, Even a shortmoment of warmth feels worth the
fire.
We don't always choose the flamebecause we're weak.
Sometimes it's because we'veforgotten what warmth feels
(26:36):
like.
So I leave you with this finalquestion.
What does happiness feel like toyou?
And how do you know when it'sreal?
Share your thoughts on X orsimply email me.
I'd love to hear how you'rebreaking free and what anchors
you're finding.
This journey has been real, andI am deeply grateful to walk it
(26:59):
with you.
Keep reflecting, keep choosing,and keep building a life that's
yours.
This is Reza Sanjide, and asalways, this podcast is for
people like you.
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