October 28, 2025 • 18 mins
In this episode of Pickleball and Partnership, Charlotte delves into the concept of feeling stuck and how to break free from self-limiting patterns using personal anecdotes and lessons from pickleball.
She explains that being stuck stems from ingrained patterns developed over time and offers a practical framework: becoming aware of these patterns, interrupting them, rewiring new behaviours, and taking actionable steps.
Charlotte shares her own career pivot story, emphasising that real growth requires courage and leaving behind old identities. She encourages listeners to acknowledge the safety of old patterns, embrace the discomfort of new possibilities, and take messy but essential steps toward a fulfilling life.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Charlotte J (00:00):
Hello, friend.
It's Charlotte here.
Welcome back to Pickleball andPartnership.
If you are someone who knows youare meant for more, but you keep
feeling stuck in the samepatterns, the same thoughts, the
same routines, the sameself-doubt, today's episode is
for you because we are going totalk about something most people
(00:23):
never slow down long enough toexamine.
Why you feel stuck and how toactually break free, not in a
rah rah, Pinterest quote way,but in a real grounded, lived
experience way.
And yes, I'm tying it topickleball because pickleball
(00:46):
has a hilarious, brilliant wayof exposing who we are,
especially when we're underpressure, especially when we are
scared of failing.
Especially when we care sodeeply.
If that sounds like your cup oftea, pull up a chair, grab your
paddle and join me as we divein.
(01:10):
Welcome my beautiful pickleballplayers, my beautiful friends.
Let's start with this truth.
You are not stuck because you'reincapable.
You're stuck because you'repatterned At some point in all
of our lives, maybe it was inchildhood, maybe in your
(01:32):
partnership, your marriage,maybe in your career, you
learned how to survive, how tocope, how to belong.
What masks we had to put on tocreate the persona that the
world could accept, A worldwhere we felt comfortable being
(01:54):
a part of.
And those patterns worked for usuntil they didn't.
And it's like stepping onto apickleball court for the first
time.
that forehand that works sobeautifully on the tennis court
is suddenly launching thosewiffle balls that you use in
(02:15):
pickleball into the car park.
not because you're bad, notbecause you can't play, not
because you don't know whatyou're doing, but because you
are using the wrong pattern forthe moment that you are in.
You are using a tennis swing fora pickleball game.
It's never going to work.
(02:37):
Well, it may for a short time,but at some point you won't feel
as though you are in alignment.
You won't feel as though you'regrowing, as though you're moving
forward.
this may show up in your life,like maybe you say to yourself,
I don't want to make the wrongdecision.
As if there is a wrong decisionor I'll start when I feel more
(03:01):
confident.
How many of us have said that?
I'll start when I've takenanother course, or I know more
information about that.
That was me.
I'm putting my hand up now.
Or we say to ourselves.
What will people think?
We are so scared of beingjudged, of failing, of appearing
(03:24):
as though we are a failure or weare different from everybody
else.
Or we simply say, I don't wantto fail.
Or maybe later, when things havecalmed down.
Maybe later when the childrenhave grown up and left home.
Maybe later when I hit myfifties or sixties, we
(03:46):
procrastinate.
That's not truth, that'srehearsal.
It's Habit and there lies thepattern and patterns will always
feel safer than possibilities.
Even when those possibilitiesare actually what you really
(04:06):
want.
They're the desires that youhave.
Let me pull the curtain back onmy own life pivot.
There was a moment, not adramatic movie moment.
There certainly wasn't alightning bolt.
There was this quiet, honestmoment where I realized.
(04:31):
I've built a life that I'mgrateful for.
I love my life.
It's everything that I hadaspired to be when I was a
teenager or in my twenties, butI'm not fully in it.
I had this amazing nursingcareer.
(04:51):
I was working where I wanted tobe.
I was working with the peoplethat I wanted to work with.
I was working with the mostamazing job share partner, but I
just wasn't really feeling it.
I would wake up every morningand I loved going to work.
(05:12):
But there was always somethingthat was missing and I just
couldn't put my finger on it,there was one particular nurse,
colleague, friend of mine, andshe and I were very much aligned
in this way we both felt asthough we were searching for
that next thing for the missingpiece, and she went down.
(05:34):
A path of craniosacral.
And I thought, maybe that's mycalling.
Maybe that's the missing piece.
So I researched and I tried itout as a client.
Really looked into whatcraniosacral was all about and
then realized, yes, I love that,but that's not it.
(05:55):
Then I looked at yoga reiki andI looked at breath work and I
loved learning.
I loved growing.
I really felt like I was.
Expanding in so many differentways, but something still wasn't
quite right.
Then I discovered the world ofenergy medicine and energy
(06:15):
healing tapping back into myintuition, which I had always
known I had, and then realizedthat at some point, adults in my
life.
Were encouraging me not tolisten to my intuition, not to
trust that feeling in the pit ofmy stomach, but to do the
(06:38):
sensible thing.
And so in that moment I thought,yes, this is the missing piece.
I'm working in Western medicine,but here I am now immersing
myself in eastern medicine,energy healing, and I'm tapping
back in to what I really believeis true and real and alive for
(07:00):
me, and connecting with myintuition again, a huge turning
point for me.
It wasn't where I finished myjourney but it was definitely a
pivotal moment for me at a timewhen I felt like I was
functioning, I was giving, oh, Iwas really giving.
In fact, I was probablyovergiving.
(07:23):
I was definitely doing, I wasdefinitely achieving But I
wasn't listening to my own innerwisdom, my own intuition.
I wasn't asking myself what do Iwant next?
I certainly wasn't prioritizingplay fun or desire, and I wasn't
(07:47):
prioritizing a vision formyself.
So I pivoted not because I wasfearless.
I had a lot of fear, a lot ofself-doubt.
Fear of being judged, fear ofbeing criticized because I was
(08:08):
in such an amazing place in mycareer, but I pivoted because
staying the same became morepainful than the pain of
changing.
And so I'm going to say this outloud for you.
Anyone who's listening, whoneeds to hear it, your new life
(08:31):
is going to cost you your oldone.
Let that sink in.
Your new life is going to costyou your old life, your old
identity, your old stories, yourold limits, sometimes even your
old relationships and roles justlike pickle ball.
(08:56):
To improve on the court, youeventually have to stop playing
the safe, soft game that keepsyou not losing.
And you start playing that bold,risky growth game that actually
helps you win.
(09:18):
here's the thing that I learned.
Growth requires a little chaosfor your nervous system, and a
lot of honesty.
I would love to share with youthe simple framework that I use
with clients and myself when wewant to break those old
(09:40):
patterns.
It's about becoming aware,interrupting, rewiring, and then
acting.
Being aware means knowing whatyou don't know, bringing that
old pattern into the light,naming it.
(10:03):
for example, your mind may betelling you, I freeze when I'm
afraid that I'll fail.
I stop, I don't take action.
on the pickleball court, itlooks like I play small when
people are watching or I playsafe, or when I'm being watched
in my game, I let my partnertake 90% of the shots.
(10:29):
And then the second phaseinterrupt.
We want to disrupt theautopilot.
You know those times when you'rein the car and you just drive
home and then you think.
How did I get here?
Because your brain is so used tothe route, it's so used to the
pattern.
Your conscious mind doesn't evenneed to think about it.
(10:51):
it's the same with your neuropathways.
with those networks in yourbrain.
We need to disrupt, thosepatterns, those pathways, we do
this.
By breathing moving and changingour state, we take a breath,
(11:12):
change our physical position,and change what we say to
ourselves.
On the court that looks likelaughing at ourselves, laughing
along with everyone else,shaking it out, releasing that
energy, shaking out your arms,shaking out your legs, doing a
(11:33):
complete reset.
Then we're able to build thosenew neuro pathways, those new
networks.
we are choosing a betterthought, a different belief, and
a new identity.
We can take off the oldidentity, like taking off an old
coat and putting a new one on.
(11:55):
we can say to ourselves, I canlearn.
I can grow.
I am safe to try on thepickleball court.
This is something I've chosen torewire into my brain and start
saying to myself when I make amistake, I miss the ball.
(12:16):
I hit it out into the car park.
I say, next ball.
Next move on.
then we take action.
We do something small, but itmoves us forward.
And it may be messy, it may beimperfect, but we take action
because clarity never comesbefore action.
(12:40):
It only comes after it.
When we take action, then we getthe clarity, then it makes sense
to us, then we clearly see thepath forward.
And if you do that again andagain, you become.
Someone new.
You take on a new identity, yourbehaviours change your thoughts,
(13:03):
change your feelings, change theold patterns, become new
patterns.
Not because we are forcing it,but because we are now in
alignment.
so I would love to ask you,where in your life are you
playing not to lose?
And where are you Staying smallbecause it feels safer than
(13:27):
being seen.
Perhaps you are waiting forpermission and only you can give
yourself that permission.
You don't need anybody else togive you permission.
You can give yourselfpermission.
You're not behind, you're notstuck, and you're not too late.
I hear this all the time.
(13:47):
I'm too old.
I'm behind everyone else.
I haven't caught up I'm too lateto the game.
I'm stuck where I am.
No, you are right on time.
You are in the most.
Perfect place in this moment tostop breathe take action and
(14:07):
move forward in a different way.
You are simply standing at theedge of your new chapter At the
moment, you're holding on to theold one.
And when you release that, whenyou let that go behind you,
that's when you can step overthe edge into that new chapter,
(14:29):
that new way of being.
And the moment that you decidethe moment you say to yourself,
I'm done repeating this pattern,that's when the game changes.
When I went to work, knowingthat.
I had everything that I reallywanted from my career.
But in that moment when Idecided I want more than this, I
(14:54):
want something different.
I want to rewrite those neuronetworks in my brain, that's
when the game changed.
That's when.
All these other doors opened upfor me.
Absolutely incredible how theuniverse meets us where we are
at.
But while you're still hangingon to that old chapter and not
(15:17):
ready to turn the page, theuniverse mirrors that and waits
until you're ready.
So take that first step and thedoors will open.
If this episode spoke to you, Iwould love for you to share it
with a friend who is alsocraving more from their life.
And if you want weekly supportto break your patterns or
(15:41):
reclaim your voice and build thelife that you're excited to wake
up to, hit follow on thispodcast so you don't miss what's
coming up.
Please connect with me onFacebook.
Instagram or send me an email.
I would love to hear from you.
I'm cheering you on.
Speaker (16:02):
Here are your 6 key takeaways from today's episode.
1.
You are not stuck.
You are patterned.
The thoughts, behaviours, andhabits that once helped you
belong or feel safe are now thevery things keeping you from
your next chapter.
2.
(16:22):
Patterns feel safer thanpossibilities.
Your nervous system will alwayschoose the familiar over the
unknown, even when the unknownis what you deeply want.
3.
Awareness is the first shift.
You can't change what you won'tlook at.
(16:44):
Naming the pattern brings it outof autopilot and back into your
power.
4.
You must interrupt before youcan rewire a breath, a laugh, a
reset, a physical state change.
This is how you disrupt oldmental loops and create space
(17:04):
for something new.
5.
Identity drives behaviour.
When you choose a new beliefabout who you are, your actions,
confidence the results begin tochange naturally without force.
6.
Clarity comes from action, notwaiting.
(17:27):
Messy steps count.
Movement creates momentum.
Your new life begins.
The moment you stop rehearsingthe old one and step forward.
And remember, friends, you arenot too late.
You're not behind, and you'renot stuck.
You are simply standing at theedge of your next chapter.
(17:49):
The moment you decide you aredone repeating the old pattern,
that's when the game changes.
So if something resonated withyou today, I would love to hear
from you.
Please reach out, send me anemail, send me a message on
Facebook, or connect with meover on Instagram and if you
felt resistance at any point.
(18:11):
I would love for you to shareauthentically what came up for
you.
Your truth is welcome here andyou don't have to navigate it
alone.
So until next time, keepgrowing.
Keep showing up and keepplaying.
Hello, friend.
It's Charlotte here.
Welcome back to Pickleball andPartnership.
If you are someone who knows youare meant for more, but you keep
feeling stuck in the samepatterns, the same thoughts, the
same routines, the sameself-doubt, today's episode is
for you because we are going totalk about something most people
(00:23):
never slow down long enough toexamine.
Why you feel stuck and how toactually break free, not in a
rah rah, Pinterest quote way,but in a real grounded, lived
experience way.
And yes, I'm tying it topickleball because pickleball
(00:46):
has a hilarious, brilliant wayof exposing who we are,
especially when we're underpressure, especially when we are
scared of failing.
Especially when we care sodeeply.
If that sounds like your cup oftea, pull up a chair, grab your
paddle and join me as we divein.
(01:10):
Welcome my beautiful pickleballplayers, my beautiful friends.
Let's start with this truth.
You are not stuck because you'reincapable.
You're stuck because you'repatterned At some point in all
of our lives, maybe it was inchildhood, maybe in your
(01:32):
partnership, your marriage,maybe in your career, you
learned how to survive, how tocope, how to belong.
What masks we had to put on tocreate the persona that the
world could accept, A worldwhere we felt comfortable being
(01:54):
a part of.
And those patterns worked for usuntil they didn't.
And it's like stepping onto apickleball court for the first
time.
that forehand that works sobeautifully on the tennis court
is suddenly launching thosewiffle balls that you use in
(02:15):
pickleball into the car park.
not because you're bad, notbecause you can't play, not
because you don't know whatyou're doing, but because you
are using the wrong pattern forthe moment that you are in.
You are using a tennis swing fora pickleball game.
It's never going to work.
(02:37):
Well, it may for a short time,but at some point you won't feel
as though you are in alignment.
You won't feel as though you'regrowing, as though you're moving
forward.
this may show up in your life,like maybe you say to yourself,
I don't want to make the wrongdecision.
As if there is a wrong decisionor I'll start when I feel more
(03:01):
confident.
How many of us have said that?
I'll start when I've takenanother course, or I know more
information about that.
That was me.
I'm putting my hand up now.
Or we say to ourselves.
What will people think?
We are so scared of beingjudged, of failing, of appearing
(03:24):
as though we are a failure or weare different from everybody
else.
Or we simply say, I don't wantto fail.
Or maybe later, when things havecalmed down.
Maybe later when the childrenhave grown up and left home.
Maybe later when I hit myfifties or sixties, we
(03:46):
procrastinate.
That's not truth, that'srehearsal.
It's Habit and there lies thepattern and patterns will always
feel safer than possibilities.
Even when those possibilitiesare actually what you really
(04:06):
want.
They're the desires that youhave.
Let me pull the curtain back onmy own life pivot.
There was a moment, not adramatic movie moment.
There certainly wasn't alightning bolt.
There was this quiet, honestmoment where I realized.
(04:31):
I've built a life that I'mgrateful for.
I love my life.
It's everything that I hadaspired to be when I was a
teenager or in my twenties, butI'm not fully in it.
I had this amazing nursingcareer.
(04:51):
I was working where I wanted tobe.
I was working with the peoplethat I wanted to work with.
I was working with the mostamazing job share partner, but I
just wasn't really feeling it.
I would wake up every morningand I loved going to work.
(05:12):
But there was always somethingthat was missing and I just
couldn't put my finger on it,there was one particular nurse,
colleague, friend of mine, andshe and I were very much aligned
in this way we both felt asthough we were searching for
that next thing for the missingpiece, and she went down.
(05:34):
A path of craniosacral.
And I thought, maybe that's mycalling.
Maybe that's the missing piece.
So I researched and I tried itout as a client.
Really looked into whatcraniosacral was all about and
then realized, yes, I love that,but that's not it.
(05:55):
Then I looked at yoga reiki andI looked at breath work and I
loved learning.
I loved growing.
I really felt like I was.
Expanding in so many differentways, but something still wasn't
quite right.
Then I discovered the world ofenergy medicine and energy
(06:15):
healing tapping back into myintuition, which I had always
known I had, and then realizedthat at some point, adults in my
life.
Were encouraging me not tolisten to my intuition, not to
trust that feeling in the pit ofmy stomach, but to do the
(06:38):
sensible thing.
And so in that moment I thought,yes, this is the missing piece.
I'm working in Western medicine,but here I am now immersing
myself in eastern medicine,energy healing, and I'm tapping
back in to what I really believeis true and real and alive for
(07:00):
me, and connecting with myintuition again, a huge turning
point for me.
It wasn't where I finished myjourney but it was definitely a
pivotal moment for me at a timewhen I felt like I was
functioning, I was giving, oh, Iwas really giving.
In fact, I was probablyovergiving.
(07:23):
I was definitely doing, I wasdefinitely achieving But I
wasn't listening to my own innerwisdom, my own intuition.
I wasn't asking myself what do Iwant next?
I certainly wasn't prioritizingplay fun or desire, and I wasn't
(07:47):
prioritizing a vision formyself.
So I pivoted not because I wasfearless.
I had a lot of fear, a lot ofself-doubt.
Fear of being judged, fear ofbeing criticized because I was
(08:08):
in such an amazing place in mycareer, but I pivoted because
staying the same became morepainful than the pain of
changing.
And so I'm going to say this outloud for you.
Anyone who's listening, whoneeds to hear it, your new life
(08:31):
is going to cost you your oldone.
Let that sink in.
Your new life is going to costyou your old life, your old
identity, your old stories, yourold limits, sometimes even your
old relationships and roles justlike pickle ball.
(08:56):
To improve on the court, youeventually have to stop playing
the safe, soft game that keepsyou not losing.
And you start playing that bold,risky growth game that actually
helps you win.
(09:18):
here's the thing that I learned.
Growth requires a little chaosfor your nervous system, and a
lot of honesty.
I would love to share with youthe simple framework that I use
with clients and myself when wewant to break those old
(09:40):
patterns.
It's about becoming aware,interrupting, rewiring, and then
acting.
Being aware means knowing whatyou don't know, bringing that
old pattern into the light,naming it.
(10:03):
for example, your mind may betelling you, I freeze when I'm
afraid that I'll fail.
I stop, I don't take action.
on the pickleball court, itlooks like I play small when
people are watching or I playsafe, or when I'm being watched
in my game, I let my partnertake 90% of the shots.
(10:29):
And then the second phaseinterrupt.
We want to disrupt theautopilot.
You know those times when you'rein the car and you just drive
home and then you think.
How did I get here?
Because your brain is so used tothe route, it's so used to the
pattern.
Your conscious mind doesn't evenneed to think about it.
(10:51):
it's the same with your neuropathways.
with those networks in yourbrain.
We need to disrupt, thosepatterns, those pathways, we do
this.
By breathing moving and changingour state, we take a breath,
(11:12):
change our physical position,and change what we say to
ourselves.
On the court that looks likelaughing at ourselves, laughing
along with everyone else,shaking it out, releasing that
energy, shaking out your arms,shaking out your legs, doing a
(11:33):
complete reset.
Then we're able to build thosenew neuro pathways, those new
networks.
we are choosing a betterthought, a different belief, and
a new identity.
We can take off the oldidentity, like taking off an old
coat and putting a new one on.
(11:55):
we can say to ourselves, I canlearn.
I can grow.
I am safe to try on thepickleball court.
This is something I've chosen torewire into my brain and start
saying to myself when I make amistake, I miss the ball.
(12:16):
I hit it out into the car park.
I say, next ball.
Next move on.
then we take action.
We do something small, but itmoves us forward.
And it may be messy, it may beimperfect, but we take action
because clarity never comesbefore action.
(12:40):
It only comes after it.
When we take action, then we getthe clarity, then it makes sense
to us, then we clearly see thepath forward.
And if you do that again andagain, you become.
Someone new.
You take on a new identity, yourbehaviours change your thoughts,
(13:03):
change your feelings, change theold patterns, become new
patterns.
Not because we are forcing it,but because we are now in
alignment.
so I would love to ask you,where in your life are you
playing not to lose?
And where are you Staying smallbecause it feels safer than
(13:27):
being seen.
Perhaps you are waiting forpermission and only you can give
yourself that permission.
You don't need anybody else togive you permission.
You can give yourselfpermission.
You're not behind, you're notstuck, and you're not too late.
I hear this all the time.
(13:47):
I'm too old.
I'm behind everyone else.
I haven't caught up I'm too lateto the game.
I'm stuck where I am.
No, you are right on time.
You are in the most.
Perfect place in this moment tostop breathe take action and
(14:07):
move forward in a different way.
You are simply standing at theedge of your new chapter At the
moment, you're holding on to theold one.
And when you release that, whenyou let that go behind you,
that's when you can step overthe edge into that new chapter,
(14:29):
that new way of being.
And the moment that you decidethe moment you say to yourself,
I'm done repeating this pattern,that's when the game changes.
When I went to work, knowingthat.
I had everything that I reallywanted from my career.
But in that moment when Idecided I want more than this, I
(14:54):
want something different.
I want to rewrite those neuronetworks in my brain, that's
when the game changed.
That's when.
All these other doors opened upfor me.
Absolutely incredible how theuniverse meets us where we are
at.
But while you're still hangingon to that old chapter and not
(15:17):
ready to turn the page, theuniverse mirrors that and waits
until you're ready.
So take that first step and thedoors will open.
If this episode spoke to you, Iwould love for you to share it
with a friend who is alsocraving more from their life.
And if you want weekly supportto break your patterns or
(15:41):
reclaim your voice and build thelife that you're excited to wake
up to, hit follow on thispodcast so you don't miss what's
coming up.
Please connect with me onFacebook.
Instagram or send me an email.
I would love to hear from you.
I'm cheering you on.
Speaker (16:02):
Here are your 6 key takeaways from today's episode.
1.
You are not stuck.
You are patterned.
The thoughts, behaviours, andhabits that once helped you
belong or feel safe are now thevery things keeping you from
your next chapter.
2.
(16:22):
Patterns feel safer thanpossibilities.
Your nervous system will alwayschoose the familiar over the
unknown, even when the unknownis what you deeply want.
3.
Awareness is the first shift.
You can't change what you won'tlook at.
(16:44):
Naming the pattern brings it outof autopilot and back into your
power.
4.
You must interrupt before youcan rewire a breath, a laugh, a
reset, a physical state change.
This is how you disrupt oldmental loops and create space
(17:04):
for something new.
5.
Identity drives behaviour.
When you choose a new beliefabout who you are, your actions,
confidence the results begin tochange naturally without force.
6.
Clarity comes from action, notwaiting.
(17:27):
Messy steps count.
Movement creates momentum.
Your new life begins.
The moment you stop rehearsingthe old one and step forward.
And remember, friends, you arenot too late.
You're not behind, and you'renot stuck.
You are simply standing at theedge of your next chapter.
(17:49):
The moment you decide you aredone repeating the old pattern,
that's when the game changes.
So if something resonated withyou today, I would love to hear
from you.
Please reach out, send me anemail, send me a message on
Facebook, or connect with meover on Instagram and if you
felt resistance at any point.
(18:11):
I would love for you to shareauthentically what came up for
you.
Your truth is welcome here andyou don't have to navigate it
alone.
So until next time, keepgrowing.
Keep showing up and keepplaying.
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The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
Two Guys, Five Rings: Matt, Bowen & The Olympics
Two Guys (Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers). Five Rings (you know, from the Olympics logo). One essential podcast for the 2026 Milan-Cortina Winter Olympics. Bowen Yang (SNL, Wicked) and Matt Rogers (Palm Royale, No Good Deed) of Las Culturistas are back for a second season of Two Guys, Five Rings, a collaboration with NBC Sports and iHeartRadio. In this 15-episode event, Bowen and Matt discuss the top storylines, obsess over Italian culture, and find out what really goes on in the Olympic Village.