Aging Parents: How to Start That Senior Living Conversation

Daphne Davis from Pinnacle Senior Placements in Seattle, Washington joins Suzanne Newman on the Answers for Elders Radio Show to talk about family, starting those tough conversations about aging parents and senior living, and being guided by your highest family value.

Daphne says, "We need to just stop and decide: What are our highest values for me individually, or for our family, or for my relationship with my mom and dad? And for you to have a benchmark – or a litmus or an understanding – of what your highest value is and then work toward that highest value... One [example] would be that I want my parents to be as happy and as healthy and safe as possible while honoring their own wishes. That could be a very standard highest value. You, as an advocate for whoever those people are, parents or otherwise, tweak that in terms of, how can I help them gracefully get into this next chapter of life and still honor their wishes? Because sometimes we have to be very proactive and sometimes we have to say the words that are not easy to say.

"And so I'd like to give you just some ideas of how to do that. As an adult child, that could be, 'Mom and dad, this is a tough place for me to be at, and I respect you completely, but I'm seeing the following.' And I would love to have a conversation about this without anybody getting defensive, if we can. And throw some humor in it, if that's your personality. Or if you're a friend and you see something from a distance – maybe it's a couple or somebody that you see at church that's a caregiver for everybody in the church – be able to say to them, 'My heart is is kind of hurting for you right now. And I am your friend. And I feel almost a responsibility to kind of have a conversation. We can have it once and be done, but it's on my heart and I really want to point out some observations that I have.' These are words off the top of my head. And I don't know your personality. These are my personality words, but have the courage to talk about what's going on. Even though someone is saying, 'I'm going to die in my house and go out for feet first,' even though somebody says, 'Nope, I'm not leaving my home,' even though somebody says, 'We're fine,' you still have the courage to push through that, because people aren't fine."

Reach Pinnacle at 1-855-734-1500 or visit PinnacleSeniorPlacements.com.