'Tis the Season for Shaming People That Celebrate Holidays and Feed Capitalism!

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12/04/25

In this episode of Please Say The Dailey, Vanisha talks about the controversial topic of how holiday celebrations are often tied to consumerism and capitalism. She discusses why some people feel judged or ostracized for “participating” in holidays, even when their celebration is rooted in family, joy, or tradition rather than consumer excess. She questions whether holiday-shaming is ever actually justified and what role capitalism plays in shaping our holiday behaviors and feelings of guilt. Whether you love or hate the holidays, this conversation offers a chance to reflect on celebration, societal pressure, consumer culture, and personal choice.

Transcript:

You are now tuned in to Vanisha R. Dailey. Please say the Dailey. Hey, hey, y'all. Welcome back to another episode of Please Say the Dailey. I am your host, Vanisha R. Daile y, and this is episode 15. Today we are going to be diving into a topic that comes up every single year. We are currently in the thick of holiday season, so I'm hoping that this message catches you at the perfect time. So, like I said, this comes up every single year, especially online, and that's the conversation around capitalism, the holidays, and this growing trend of shaming people for how they choose to celebrate them. And listen, as someone that studies sociology, I absolutely believe in using our voices as a means of activism, especially when we're calling attention to systems we've normalized. These are systems that heavily exploit us. But here's the thing, we have to be careful about how the message comes off. Because a message about liberation can easily turn into a message about moral superiority. And that's not helpful to anybody. But wait, before we jump in, go ahead and make sure that you are subscribed. Let's get into it. Let's start with what capitalism is. Capitalism is an economic system where private individuals or corporations control production. Goods and services are bought and sold for profit, and economic life centers around markets rather than communal or state ownership. Its foundations are competition, private property, wage labor, and unequal power dynamics. Historically, capitalism evolved alongside of European colonial expansion, racial hierarchy, and extraction-based economies. We're seeing this happen all across the world. And this means that from the beginning, capitalism grew by exploiting land, labor, and resources, especially the labor of enslaved Africans. So when we talk about capitalism today, we're not just talking about shopping at Target, which we do not, by the way. We're talking about a system with deep roots in colonialism, slavery, and inequality. So what systems are a part of capitalism? Unfortunately, everything. But more specifically, our financial system, the labor system, education system, housing, health care, agriculture, and food distribution, media, entertainment, technology, policing, and the prison industrial complex. Capitalism shapes how we work, how we live, rest, and even how we celebrate. Which brings us back to the holidays. Every year without fail, people hop on social media to

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Episode Transcript

Speaker (00:12):
You are now tuned in to Vanisha R.
Dailey.
Please say the Dailey.
Hey, hey, y'all.

(00:32):
Welcome back to another episodeof Please Say the Dailey.
I am your host, Vanisha R.
Daile y, and this is episode15.
Today we are going to be divinginto a topic that comes up
every single year.
We are currently in the thickof holiday season, so I'm hoping

(00:52):
that this message catches youat the perfect time.
So, like I said, this comes upevery single year, especially
online, and that's theconversation around capitalism,
the holidays, and this growingtrend of shaming people for how
they choose to celebrate them.
And listen, as someone thatstudies sociology, I absolutely

(01:16):
believe in using our voices as ameans of activism, especially
when we're calling attention tosystems we've normalized.
These are systems that heavilyexploit us.
But here's the thing, we haveto be careful about how the
message comes off.
Because a message aboutliberation can easily turn into

(01:38):
a message about moralsuperiority.
And that's not helpful toanybody.
But wait, before we jump in, goahead and make sure that you
are subscribed.
Let's get into it.
Let's start with whatcapitalism is.

(02:03):
Capitalism is an economicsystem where private individuals
or corporations controlproduction.
Goods and services are boughtand sold for profit, and
economic life centers aroundmarkets rather than communal or
state ownership.
Its foundations arecompetition, private property,

(02:27):
wage labor, and unequal powerdynamics.
Historically, capitalismevolved alongside of European
colonial expansion, racialhierarchy, and extraction-based
economies.
We're seeing this happen allacross the world.
And this means that from thebeginning, capitalism grew by

(02:50):
exploiting land, labor, andresources, especially the labor
of enslaved Africans.
So when we talk aboutcapitalism today, we're not just
talking about shopping atTarget, which we do not, by the
way.
We're talking about a systemwith deep roots in colonialism,

(03:10):
slavery, and inequality.
So what systems are a part ofcapitalism?
Unfortunately, everything.
But more specifically, ourfinancial system, the labor
system, education system,housing, health care,
agriculture, and fooddistribution, media,

(03:31):
entertainment, technology,policing, and the prison
industrial complex.
Capitalism shapes how we work,how we live, rest, and even how
we celebrate.
Which brings us back to theholidays.
Every year without fail, peoplehop on social media to shame

(03:54):
others for how they celebratethe holidays.
You're feeding capitalism,you're participating in colonial
traditions, you're not sociallyconscious enough.
And I'll be honest, I used tobe one of those people until I
realized something important.
There are many different waysthat we all interact with the

(04:14):
systems that funnel into theeconomy.
And none of us, not me, notyou, not the people we critique,
none of us have found a perfectway to escape capitalism.
Because capitalism is not justa system that we participate in,
it's a system that we were borninto.

(04:35):
We are all participating inupholding capitalism, every
single one of us.
As an African American, adescendant of enslaved people
taken through the transatlanticslave trade.
It's my duty to stay connectedto the culture that has formed
over the generations in thiscountry.

(04:57):
And that culture is complex.
African Americans are notdescendant from just one African
culture.
We are the descendants of manydifferent African cultures.
And those cultures are allmixed with the trauma of
enslavement, the strategies ofsurvival, the influence of

(05:18):
Christianity, indigenouscultural exchange, and the
pressures of white Americannorms.
So when people lecture blackAmericans about how to celebrate
or not celebrate certainholidays, it can be a bit
short-sighted because ourcultural relationship to this
country is not identical and itnever has been.

(05:42):
For example, some blackfamilies celebrate the 4th of
July.
I personally don't.
African Americans were stillenslaved at that time.
But my late grandfather'sbirthday was 4th of July.
So even that holiday haslayered meaning in my family.
Before I was married, I didn'tcelebrate holidays at all,

(06:05):
despite growing up in ahousehold that celebrated
Thanksgiving and Christmas.
I had turned into a bit of aGrinch, which, funny enough,
that's actually my holiday themethis year.
But then I married into afamily that celebrates all of
those things heavily.
And then I became a parent.

(06:26):
Suddenly I felt somethingshift.
I wanted my daughter to havesome of the same warm, joyful
memories that I had growing up.
The food on Thanksgiving, theextended family gatherings
whenever that would happen, theexcitement of Christmas morning,

(06:46):
and barely sleeping justbecause I was so excited.
I found myself feeling anintense desire to replicate all
of my mother's signature dishesthat I enjoyed growing up.
From macaroni and cheese, candyyams, sweet potato pies, and I
started getting more intofestive decorating just as my

(07:07):
mother did when I was little.
Were those experiences tied tocapitalism?
Absolutely.
Were they also some of myfavorite childhood memories?
Yes.
These situations aremulti-layered and complex, and
that's totally normal in life.
So here's my message for today.

(07:28):
The next time that you feeltempted to shame someone for
participating in capitalism,just pause for a second.
Because until you stop payingtaxes, you stop working, buying
anything, you stop using yourphone, you stop using the

(07:49):
internet, stop consumingelectricity, you stop buying
food, you stop participating inthe school system, so no
education, you stop engagingwith all technology and media,
you stop driving, you stop usinghealth care, and you stop

(08:13):
buying or renting a home, youare also participating in
capitalism.

(08:51):
Capitalism is structured bydesign, and the only way that
you can't participate in it isif you literally stop doing
everything.
Who is at that point?
Please reach out to me if youknow of someone that's at that
point.
None of us are escapingcapitalism individually, and

(09:12):
none of us are perfect.
So, with that being said, Idon't think any of us are in a
position to shame others fordoing what they need to do to
survive, to find joy, or tomaintain their family
traditions.
So, what is actually in ourpower?
And how can we move in thedirection of making better

(09:35):
choices within a capitalistsociety?
What can we do that doesn'trely on shame, guilt, or
perfectionism?
If you're new here, I have a BAin sociology with a focus in
environmental and naturalresources, and I'm currently a
digital sociology grad student.
So here are some real tangible,accessible ways to push back on

(09:59):
capitalism without abandoningmodern life.
These choices can reduce harmand resist the system in
realistic, humane ways.
You don't have to stop giftgiving.
You don't even have to denyyourself of those meaningful
traditions, but you can cut backon unnecessary buying, impulse

(10:23):
purchases, yearly holes,excessive holiday buying.
If you aren't using it, don'tjust trash it.
Consider donating, because I'msure someone could make good use
out of those items.
Environmental sociology teachesus that waste is a structural

(10:44):
issue, not just an individualone, but individual choices do
matter.
Some ways to reduce harm.
Reuse decorations instead ofbuying new ones every year.
Repair items instead ofreplacing them.
Repurpose old clothes,furniture, or even containers.

(11:05):
Upcycle whenever possible.
This not only reducesecological strain, it reduces
dependence on consumer cycles.
Buy second hand when you can.
Here's where sociology meetssustainable practice.
Second hand markets, thriftstores, buy nothing groups,

(11:28):
Poshmark, Depop, consignmentshops, all of these represent
alternative economies, turnativeeconomies, community-based
exchange, reduced environmentalimpact, and lower resource
extraction.
Buying second hand interruptscapitalism's profit cycle while

(11:50):
still allowing people toparticipate in culture, fashion,
and gift giving in gentlerways.
It also deeply aligned, thisalso deeply aligns with the
environmental and naturalresource field because it
reduces tactile waste, carbonemissions, energy usage, and

(12:12):
landfilled pressure.
We need to buy local whenpossible.
When we buy local, it helpswith economic distribution,
community reach and leverage,and of course it is
environmentally beneficial.
When we buy from the localfarmer's market, a local artist,

(12:33):
or even black-owned businesses,we are keeping money within the
community rather than funnelingit upward into billion-dollar
megacorporations.
This is exactly the kind ofcommunity resilience that
sociologists talk about whendiscussing alternatives to
capitalist structures.

(12:53):
We have to work towardsustainability ideas that center
impact reduction.
There's no way that we cancompletely escape the structure
of capitalism.
That would be nice, but it'snot realistic.
So how can we interact with oursociety in a conscious and more

(13:15):
ethically aware way?
Consider thinking beforepurchasing an item.
And ask yourself, do I reallyneed this?
Try to reduce waste, supportmutual aid, and sustain
traditions with legitimateintention.

(13:35):
Also, if you are someone thatinteracts with children in any
way, whether you're a parent, ateacher, or a caregiver, you
have the privilege of teachingthese babies how to interact
with the environment.
Let me tell you, one of my veryproud parent moments is when I
hear my five-year-old tell herfriends not to litter.

(13:58):
We talk about healthy habitsfor the earth and practicing
good stewardship.
So please, y'all don't sleep onhow impactful it is to educate
the younger generations on thesepractices.
Another component to this isthat we have to understand that

(14:19):
not everyone has the same accessto sustainable choices.
For low-income communities andfamilies, buying organic is not
always a feasible option,because food apartheid, aka food
deserts, are a serious issuethat accentuates the systemic
inequalities and environmentalissues that impact various

(14:43):
communities.
And that's a very real thing.
Secondhand stores may still beexpensive, and the time to
actually repurpose items isn'talways an option.
So while we definitely want toencourage sustainable practices,
we absolutely cannot shamepeople who don't have the same

(15:07):
privilege to make those choices.
Capitalism has uneven impacts.
So our compassion needs to beeven louder to acknowledge that
factor.
Moving on to another majortopic: activism.
There are many ways to show upas an activist.

(15:29):
And whether that's throughboycotting or speaking up and
spreading awareness, I want youto become okay with the fact
that you will not be able toparticipate in every single
thing.
And I know that may be a bitcontroversial in the world of
radicalism, but I'm a realist,and that is the reality.

(15:51):
Does that make you any lessthan because you can't always
show up how you want to forwhatever reason?
I don't think that at all,because we've seen these
movements throughout history,from the Montgomery bus boycott
to the United Farm WorkersMovement to anti-apartheid
boycotts.
With all of these movements,they only worked because people

(16:15):
were showing up in a multitudeof ways.
It wasn't because everyone wasat every protest event.
While someone may boycottsomething, another person might
donate.
Someone else may organize aprotest, and others focus on
educating the public or figuringout strategies to build
resources behind the scenes.

(16:37):
That's how movements work.
As long as we never lose focusand we continue to be
intentional, those efforts canabsolutely make a difference.
Here's some of the many waysthat I am intentional in my
activism.
As of last year, the majorityof my clothes have been bought

(16:59):
from secondhand shops, and Ihave cut back on purchasing
clothes tremendously.
What was the secret?
I stopped going to Target.
I really did not realize howmuch money I spent at Target
until I started boycotting themat the beginning of this year.
And as much as I loved them, Idefinitely don't ever plan on

(17:23):
returning.
Period.
So try to show up somewhere andcontribute in meaningful ways.
Align your choices with yourvalues when you can, wherever
you can.
Because as Belle Hook said inher book, entitled Teaching
Community, A Pedagogy of Hope,she says, to build community

(17:46):
requires vigilant awareness ofthe work we must continually do
to undermine all thesocialization that leads us to
behave in ways that perpetuatedomination.
So as we move through theseseasons, I want you to remember

(18:20):
that we are human beings livingin a system that we did not
create.
They existed before us, andsadly, they will continue to
exist long after us.
These systems literally impacthow we go about everything
within our lives.
And with that fact in mind,we've continued to find spaces

(18:43):
of joy, build culture, andtraditions.
We will continue to pushforward, and hopefully we can
somehow figure out how to makethings just a little bit better,
even if we can't dismantle itall.
It is impossible for one personto carry the weight of all of

(19:04):
this political chaos that'shappening in the world.
But we can strategize slowlyand steadily, creating the
change that we want to see.
As I sign off, please sharethis episode with someone and
reach out to me because I wouldlove to hear how you are
navigating this topic ofcelebrating the holidays and

(19:28):
your own activism.
Thank you for listening, andthank you for showing up in the
ways that you do.
Stay critical, curious, andcompassionate.
Until next time.