March 20, 2025 • 52 mins
In this episode of Prideful Connections, we sit down with Clare McCarthy, a lifelong educator, advocate, and host of Transqat the Podcast. With 33 years of experience as a Latin teacher, Clare now dedicates her work to combating misinformation about transgender issues through her podcast. We’ll explore her journey from teaching to advocacy, the power of storytelling in education, and how humor, research, and lived experience shape her approach. Tune in for an insightful conversation on creating safe spaces, fostering understanding, and the impact of authentic representation in media and beyond.
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Hi, welcome to Prideful Connections.
We're here with our guest, Clare McCarthy.
She is the producer and host of her ownpodcast called Tran Trans Kat,
and we are thrilled to have her with us.
So sit back, relaxand enjoy the conversation.
Hi, Sarah. Hi, Tony. Hey.
(00:57):
Good to see you both.
Good to see you, Clare. Always a pleasure.
Good to see you, Clare.
Good to see youon the other side of the microphone.
I'm not enjoying this.
It's my job to ask the questions and thenjust sit there respectfully and listen.
Well, I'm enjoying this.
This whole let's grillthe drinks woman thing is.
Yeah,I don't know. I was going to say that.
I was going to say.
(01:18):
Well,Tony and I were really excited about that.
All right. Hey. Yeah.Thank you for being here with us.
Oh, pleasure.Oh, certainly. You know, it's really.
And I'm not just saying this.
It's really an honor to have you.
Every timeI listen to one of your podcasts, I.
And I even said to Sarah the other day,if I can be half as good as you are,
I'll be really impressed with myself.
(01:39):
Okay. Let's come.
But I guess I guessmy first question to you is like, what
inspired you to actually start a podcast.
In 2016?
I don't Idon't remember who was president in 2016.
But it I saw this war against transpeople coming.
(02:00):
You know, you pay attention to the news,you read between the lines.
And it was very clearthat it was one of the issues
that the Republicans were going to useas a, an issue
to stir up the baseand to divide the country.
And at the time, I was a,
I was at the end of my Latin teachingcareer, 33 years in the classroom.
(02:22):
I was also the school librarian,
and I was really proud of the factthat every day
people saw a transgender woman in.
I'm going to use the normal word in anormal job in the normal course of events.
And I thought that that wasthat was a real contribution.
(02:44):
You know, it's the
kids cansee if they if they're leaning toward
the queer end of the spectrum,they can see, yeah,
there's a future, you can have a career,you can have a life.
And if the whole idea of gender
expansiveness is new to you.
McCarthy is about as non-threateningas you can get.
She's.
(03:05):
She's a Latin teacher,for crying out loud.
It doesn't get any more boring than that.
So not a threat.
And I was really proud of that.
But the more I thought about it,
I could see thatthis was going to be a war,
and I just couldn't reconcilesitting on the sidelines.
I, I think, to be really honest,part of that comes out of the fact
(03:29):
that during the Aids epidemic in the 80s
and 90s, I was profoundly closeted
and I did nothing, and
I still beat myself up over
that, that, you know, you could haveyou could have volunteered,
you could have gone to candlelight vigils,you could have done anything
(03:52):
you could have worked with, act up to help
get legislation passedand get the government to pay attention.
And you did nothingbecause you were scared.
And I still carry some guilt from that.
And so I thought,I need to be fighting this.
So I took early retirement.
(04:13):
I taught myself what I needed to know to,
to make and produce podcasts.
I apparently there's this thingcalled the, Do they call it the internet?
Yeah.
Where where there's some sort of,It's not a traditional media.
Do you know what they call it?
The, it's some kind of like asocializing media, I believe they call it,
(04:38):
And I've had to to teach myselfhow to function in that environment.
But that's really where it started, is
I just did not want to be on the sidelines
when when all all of this is over,however it ends,
I want to at least be able to sayI did my best.
(04:58):
Did you have a clear vision of whatthe podcast would be, what
the name would be?
I really want to know the storybehind the name.
Trans cat, I think I know,but I would love our audience
to know what was behind that.
But, but after you're telling that story,I would really like to know, like,
did you have a clear vision
of what you hope your audience would begetting out of your podcast?
(05:19):
And, and do you feel like that's evolvedor have you been reaching that type
of thing? Okay, so the, the
name story first, I live with four cats,
and I sat down with them and said, I'mgoing to be making this change.
I'm going to be home a lot more,
because I'll be working from homefor the most part.
(05:42):
And they were very concerned about thatbecause that's their time of day.
And they said, well, it'll be okay
as long as you workthe word cat in there somewhere.
And I thought, well, I'm
of the five of us, I'mthe only one who's trans.
None of you are.
And they said, shut up and do it.
So I said, okay, fine.
(06:04):
Trans cat and and Newt,
who is the CEO of trans Cat enterprises,said, yeah, and spell it with a cue.
To really screw everybody up.
With a two. That's a bad idea.
And he said, shut up and do it.
So it's trans cat.
Actually,I thought that was a clever way of
(06:25):
spelling, because for me, at the time,the Q stood for queer.
Yeah.
And it was something that would be unique.
Right.
So when you Google trans cat trans Q a t,
I'm the only one that comes up so that,
that seemed like an asset.
(06:45):
So I did that.
And then about a year and a half,two years into doing this, I realized that
I spell that I stole the idea of spelling
cat qwerty from, the the artist.
The cartoonist, Caliban.
You know, he does the cats.
Oh, you can't steal somethingif you don't know it.
No, I didn't realize it was afterwards,but when I when I was flipping back
(07:07):
through his book, cats, that'sthis collection of cartoons with cats.
And in a couple of themhe spells it Qwerty.
And I was like, oh, that's right.
That's why that was in my head.
So sorryyou're not getting any of the money.
So that'show that that's how the name came about.
I, I didn't I, I had, I had a plan
(07:33):
and my plan was pretty simply that
there was enough media out therewhere people were shouting
and people were angry for one reasonor another, and everybody had opinions
and that this sounds like self-deprecatinghumor, but it's it's true.
I could not imagine anybody
(07:55):
wanting to listen to me on a podcast.
And I thought,okay, well, work with that then.
How about you in conversationwith people who actually do have something
to say, who are health care,
you know, in the health carefield, in the mental health
care field, in the advocacyfield, in the legal field,
(08:17):
faith leadershave respectful conversations with people
and put togetheressentially a mosaic of voices
about trans issuesand, you know, queer stuff in general.
And that would justifyyou being on the air,
even though I know it's not on the air.
(08:38):
You know, for three times
a month and it evolved.
So it startedthere as a way to just be able to.
So for example, in thein the first season,
the MPV, became an issuein the gay community.
And so I got Doctor Marwan Haddad, on the show, and we talked about MPV
(09:02):
and all of the aspects of it as, like I say, as a public service.
But, you know, if you're listening to allthese distorted bits of misinformation,
what if there was a placeyou could go to just learn
there's no shouting, there'sno there's no debates.
It's a conversation.
I'm not a journalist. It'snot an interview.
(09:24):
It's just a simplelet's have a conversation.
Yeah, I think it's it's
it's amazing to me when when you saidthey know who would want to listen to me
and every body I speak to nowsays they can listen to you all day.
I mean, so many people have saidthat to me with your interviews,
and and I will brag for a momentthat I was your first guest.
That's very true. You were.And I was like, who is this person?
(09:45):
And I kind of couldn't even Google you.
There was really nothing about you.
But something told me to say yes.
Because, you know,
doing this work for so long,you have to be really careful of who.
And you came to my house, which I did.
I never let anybody into my house.
Really is not a lot of people.But you did.
You can let'slet's. Just be clear about that.
I didn't show up at your house.
No, no, no, I didn't just show up.
(10:07):
Not just like I'm here. Hello.
But you were invitedin. You're invited in.
But I gotta tell you, from the momentyou sat down,
I was like, oh, my God,this is going to be an easy hour.
Well, that sure, that comes out of.
And you, we all know each other here.
I, I do not take compliments easily.
Know but that comes out of 33
(10:30):
years of teaching and and to be honest,
I took me a lot longer than it should have
to learn that as a teacherthat it is not about me
in front of the classroom, thatthat's that's the essence of bad teaching.
If you're up there and thinking,all right, this 45 minutes,
is all about me and what I can teachthe kids you've already lost.
(10:52):
It's it's about them.
So put your ego back theresomewhere, and listen,
find out where they actually are beforeyou start presuming where they are.
And all of the things that we all know
you can't have a respectful conversation
unless people feel safe.
(11:13):
So you've got to build that.
You've got to,
you know, you think about just imagineyourself back in high school, right,
in a class, and you're sitting thereand you want to raise your hand
because you don't understandwhat the hell they're talking about.
But you're scared to do that.
I'm going to look like an idiot.I'm going to.
I'm going to make
I don't know, I'mgoing to get some kind of a reaction
(11:33):
that I don't wantfrom the teacher, from the other kids.
And so I'll just I'll just sit hereand hope it all works out for the best.
That's not conducive to learning.
And so I really felt thatthat was something I could bring to this,
is that I, I don't have an agenda beyondI want to sit and listen to you,
and I want to then put this out thereso other people can listen and learn
(11:57):
and those are my favorite episodeswhen I learn things.
Yeah, I just feel like every episodethat I've listened to, it's
just such a flow of conversation.
And that's what we're hopingthis podcast is going to be unlike.
But here's here'sa curiosity question. Oh boy.
Do you have somebody that you
really want to be on the showbut you feel that you can't reach?
(12:19):
Oh, I have, I have okay.
Well, who is your top personand pitched yourself to the camera
not to put her on the spot.
Nothing like putting me on the spot.
I okay,
top top choiceI have, I have a number of them.
I'll let me back this up a little bit.
I just interviewed a friendwho is an author and Elliot Page.
(12:44):
Elliot Page's, production companyjust this past year,
bought one of histhe rights to one of his books and is
going into production on it.
And I was like, well,you know, if you're ever sitting down
with Elliot Page, you could mention thatthere's this really great podcast,
(13:04):
but my top pick,
I'm going to be honest,is probably Jenny Finney Boylan.
Oh, Jenny.
Jenny, when you were, in,
was it Gilford?
I think it was Gilford
when you were touring with JodiPicoult over that that book, Mad honey?
I went to, I went to the launch event,
(13:26):
which was in a big church in Gilford.
And I was the only person in that churchwho was there for you.
I was sitting amongst people who were just
reading their favorite JodiPicoult books and,
and this and that, and I said,and they said, what's your favorite?
And I said,I never read any first time, I'm sorry.
(13:46):
I'm here for Jenny Finney Boylan.
And they were like, who?
I said, the coauthor of the book is
Jodi Picoult doesn't have coauthors.
Okay. All right.
Did you read the book? Yeah. Sorry.
And as soon as, you know,
within five minutes of Jenny coming out,she had won over the crowd.
They all loved. Her. She's amazing. I.
(14:08):
I approached you after the event,which I probably shouldn't have.
I gave you my card.
And essentially I begged you to come onthe show, and you said, no, thanks.
I'm begging again.
When and where?
At your convenience.
I would love to sit down with you.
Your book, She's Not.
(14:28):
There was a huge help to mewhen I was transitioning.
It was the book that I recommended to CIS.
Had people who wanted to understandwhat no world I was doing.
So give it a thought.
Thank you.
The average cis het person would thinkthat you'd run out of different facets
(14:50):
of this subject to talk about,and it couldn't be further from the truth.
There's always one more.
Oh, let's add that to the mix.
Just this season,
this is season three,and I started this season by talking
to Mack Beggs, who is a, wrestler
slash MMA fighter from Texas.
(15:12):
He was embroiled in a huge controversywhen he was in high school because Texas.
Nuff said. I don't even want to. Yeah.
But what Mack went through and what hedoes, he's just the most remarkable guy.
And I was so lucky to talk with him.
A couple episodes later,I got to sit down for an hour.
(15:34):
I don't know why I'm gesturing like this.
I got to sit down for an hour withCongressman Barney Frank for an hour.
Anything you want to talk aboutthat has happened
in in LGBTQ rights in our lifetimes.
That's Barney Frank
and he.
(15:54):
Yeah. He said, yeah, let's do it.
I have his, I sent him a letter
and he sent me a postcard backsaying, absolutely, let's do this.
And I have that framed above my deskso that when, when it's feels
when those days when it feels like I'mnot, I'm not getting anything done here.
I'm not doing anything.
(16:14):
I can look upand I can see that Barney Frank
looked at my show and said, yeah,this is a good vehicle.
Let's let's do this.
Well, let me interrupt you saying that
because you saidyou're not getting anything done.
I will say thatwhen just to give you my example.
Right. My, my story with you.
Yeah. When my child first came out,I didn't.
It was difficult in many different ways.
(16:36):
And of course, I didn't know anythingabout being transgender.
Never mind being a parent of a childwho is transgender and what I need to do.
So, I
met you
at or I think I met you at an event,actually,
before I met you againat the church in Gilford.
(16:56):
But I started listening to your episodes,
and it really, like,just helped me tremendously.
All the different guests you had onand you are, as Tony says.
I mean, you were an absolute natural
when it comes to to interviewingand speaking and conversing.
And so it wasthe episodes were really easy
to listen to and enjoyable,but it also helped me as a parent.
(17:19):
There was there's enough in there. Yes.
And that's for me.
That's one of the pillarsthat I'm building on, is that
it shouldn't be
me trying to give a whole bunchof information.
It's just me in context.
You know, the episode that you and I didtogether is me talking to a parent
who's looking for answers,who can't understand that,
(17:42):
you know, that'sthat's simple, basic human experience.
So that's what we focus on.
We'll also, if you remember, I called youthe night before that episode and said
I was concernedbecause I wasn't going to be able to
I wanted to be able to express myselfhonestly.
Right.
And I knew that my story was goingto be different from the two other mothers
(18:02):
that were on there, and I wanted tobe able to be honest, honest.
But Iwas afraid, and you really put me at ease.
And you said, you know, come onand just say what
you need to say and be your honest self.
And that that would also help otherparents who might have been struggling.
(18:23):
I like I.
Was I thought that that wasthat was the heart of that episode.
I mean, there was a lot of good thingsthat were brought up.
We hadthere were four of us in the conversation.
But to hearyou have the courage to say out loud,
yeah,but here's what I'm still struggling with.
Yeah, that's the point.
That was wortheverybody listening to it for.
(18:45):
And that was brave because that'swhat a lot of parents are there,
but they don't want to say it. Yes.
And when you when they hearanother parent say, you know,
listen, I, I accept my kid, I'm
trying to affirm my kid,but I'm still struggling with this.
They don't feel so guiltyabout where they're at.
Right? Right.
So I, I listen to that episode
and I was really proud of youthat you were that vulnerable to do that.
(19:07):
Thank you.
But you made it easy for me.
So I appreciate. You.
Thank you for stuffout of people that I know.
Yeah, I.
Know there are times when I sit, I,
when I think I made another guest cry,this is great.
This is real.
It's if I could only make all of my guestscry, I would be.
Yeah. You have an energy. I'm safe. Right?
And I said this to youin the last interview that you did with me
(19:29):
for my book,is that you have an energy of safety.
Clearthat my heart and my soul just open up and
and not too many people can meanthat's not true.
I can't sayI don't cry a lot. When he does.
But you really, you you.
I feel safe going really deep into themy pain.
And we did in that episode.
We did? Yeah, we did it.
(19:50):
And your episodes are alwaysa balance of humor and and heaviness like.
And I love that.
I really love that about the way you,the way you do your shows,
because it's not all funnyand it's not all,
oh my God,I don't know if I have to take a Valium
after I listen to this or,you know, do something to calm my nerves.
But it's just just such a balance.
(20:11):
There needs to be.
Whatever the
conversation is, part ofmy job is to be a counterpoint.
You know, sometimes to highlightwhat you're talking about.
Some times to sort of gently.
But as you were saying,make sure that the balance is there,
that if we're getting too dark,we find a way to
(20:33):
navigate into more still waters.
I want all of that.
I want people to bebrutally open and honest with me.
I, I, I have been tryingI haven't found the right person yet.
I want to find a religious leaderwho does not support trans rights,
but is able to sit downand have a conversation,
(20:55):
a respectful conversation,because I one of the things that I wanted
when I started planning it was I wanteda thread of faith leaders throughout.
So that so that queer people wouldunderstand that religion doesn't hate you.
Which is what I grew upnot believing, not fearing, but knowing.
I knew that my religion hated meand that I if I were to open my mouth
(21:20):
and say this is who I am,I would have no place there.
So I wanted that to be part of Trans Katand so I've,
I talked to, Rabbi Marci Bellows andoh my goodness,
the two of us stayed at a certain pointshe said, we should rename.
We should rename this podcastto nerds in a synagogue.
Yes, yes we should.
(21:41):
I've talked with Aaron Miller.
Yep. I had,
Riley Page,
and I, I just did a really wonderful,
episode with, with Daryl Goodwin.
Oh, wow.
That's amazing.
Yeah. It's,
(22:03):
and that that was one of the timesthat I felt what you were describing.
When I'm sitting with him, I feel safe.
I felt, you know, I,I think I at a certain point,
I kind of lost the objective of I'm,I'm running this interview,
and it was just the two of us talking,and that was a joy.
(22:25):
It was an absolute joy.
So I like having the religious thread,but I would like to have that.
I have an idea for somebody.
I just haven't had the timeor the courage to reach out yet.
Yeah, I.
Think that's very interestingbecause Sarah and I,
when we were planning out this podcast,we do want to have people on the show
that don't have the same viewsthat we do, but
(22:45):
are able to sit down and have a calmand respectful conversation
because that's the only waypeople are going to like, learn about.
Yeah, because I always say
the peoplethat don't believe in what I believe
in, believe in what they believe inas much as I believe in what I believe.
And if you can follow that, right, right.
So to be able to have a very respectful,calm conversation,
(23:06):
that's not going to be heatedand end up like,
you know, the rest of the countrywhen they're screaming at each other,
nobody listens, you know,speaking of the rest of the country,
well, can we get into that for sure?
Sure.
Where's the Kleenex?
So, right here.
Okay. Thank you.
So we've been in this fightfor a very long time,
(23:28):
you and I, we've been in the communityfor a very long time.
We've we've lived through, man.
We don't have any rights at all.
How do we support each other, too?Oh, my God, we have some rights.
And people are actually being nice to us.
And the youth of our communityare actually getting what they need
to survive and live.
And now it looks like,
you know, there's a potential possibilityfor us going back 20 years.
(23:51):
Do you
when you think about that, and I'msure you've given this a lot of thought
because it's always in our faces,unfortunately.
Do you have any hope for the future,and if so,
what what what what keeps your hope alive
in this time?
(24:13):
There's an answer I give to that.
That sounds flippant.
But it's not.
And that is that hope.
And I are not on speaking terms.
I am not an optimist.
I do not hope,
that things will get better.
I believe that the true test of character
(24:36):
is whether you will stand and fightwhen there is absolutely no hope.
When there is no way,
you certainly no wayyou're going to win this battle.
Let maybe not even the war.
That's the true test of character.
And that's.
I know,
(24:58):
I know how that sounds.
I know that's that sounds dark.
But I don't have a good workingrelationship with Hope and I.
And I think that
when the election happened this year.
I had all the feelings,same as a lot of us.
(25:19):
But when that passed, what I was left
with was a sense of commitmentand dedication and
and in some way,there's a sense of relief.
I was, you know, this what I do with Trans
Kat would be unnecessaryif we were treated, like,
with basic human decencyand with, you know, equal human rights.
(25:39):
I wouldn't it would just be me and my egoin front of a microphone.
And that would be the point at which transget should probably stop. But
it is going to be a really
awful four years, possibly eight years.
And if you're looking at the Supreme Courta lot longer than that,
probably close to 20 years, and that.
(26:05):
That's not about me.
That's the future.
And, you know, as somebody who workswith trans youth, as somebody
who brought trans youth into the world,that's what we're fighting for here.
Right? Not again.
It's there's there is no reasonanybody should care about me.
But I am the older version
(26:28):
of these kids that you're spreadingmisinformation about.
I, I carry the scars that I carry
could be avoided if we could just havethe respectful conversations
and you could drop the talking pointsand the rhetoric, and we could just
listen to each other because it'sthe kids caught in the crossfire and,
(26:51):
well, I won't
say despair, but that's where I feelthe opposite of hope
is when I look at whatall of this is going to do to trans youth.
Yeah.
Can you talk a little bitabout your journey?
I can I was closeted till I was 55.
(27:14):
And I came out and transitioned.
When you were at work. In school?
Yeah. How was that?
It was fantastic.
And it was.
All right.
Let's go with what an optimist would say.
It was fantasticbecause my principal went out of his way
to make sure that the roadwas as paved as humanly possible.
(27:38):
I came to him on the first day of school
because I had decided overthe summer that I was going to do this.
And so I came to him on the first dayof school, and I explained it, and I said,
But I've got my appointment with myendocrinologist, whom I haven't met yet.
Hi, Katie Tierney, we love you. Hi, Katie.
(27:58):
We love you. We do.
I said my appointment is at
first still another three months,so I can't do anything.
I can't say anything because in my head,I was convinced
I was going to have to go into thatmeeting and argue for my transness.
I was have to I was going to have to gosee this this Katherine Tierney and say,
(28:20):
okay, here are the reasonsthat I deserve to go on HRT.
Here are the reasons I deserve toto transition.
And of course, that turned out to be not.
Because that's the way it was.
You had to stand and sit in front ofa committee right back in the day and say,
this is who I am.
And they say, okay, well,
if you are that, then you need to walkthat talk for a year.
(28:41):
And then if you do that for a year,then we'll consider giving you HRT.
Then we'll start. Yeah, yeah.
That's the way it used to be.
In some countries it is still like.
If you can even get the.If you can even get that right.
But in Connecticut there was a threedoctors that you used to sit in front of.
Yeah.
But and it turned outto be just ridiculous.
Something.
And Katie would put me right at easeat first and, well,
(29:03):
laughed at me, which is something I understand.
So she laughed and she said,no, no, no, no, no, I'm not a gatekeeper.
I'm here to make sure that whatever we domatches your
your health,your body, your age, you, whatever.
We want to make surethat we're doing the right thing for you.
And that's it.
So we just moved forward.
(29:24):
Once I had that information,I went back to the principal.
And in that three months,we had gamed out every possible able
outcome avenue,everything that could possibly come up.
We had already put into placecontingent plans.
Just he and I.
The superintendentwas nominally supportive, but not really.
(29:46):
The community,the community I was teaching in
has a pretty pronounced reputationin Connecticut
for being, racist
and not particularlytolerant of the queers.
And so Iknew that that was part of the community.
(30:07):
I was showing up and trying to helpevery day.
He watched my back.
It never it almost never reached me.
Once or twice things broke through.
But he had my back,and I owe him forever for that.
That's a blood debt.
And. And, Brian, if you're listening,I am so grateful to you
(30:29):
still for that.
So I, I did it, and it was ridiculous.
All of my queer friends my age
who were angry at me.
How did it.
So how did it go at work?It went fine. They.
So you didn't run into any problems?There wasn't any.
(30:50):
Now, they took me out for drinksthat when I, when I had told them
I was going to do this,we went out and we talked.
How about parents?
And Iknow some of them are not happy, but.
Yeah, but that was kept from me.
How about your family?
Was your family supportive as think?
Yeah.
No, no horror stories I hate you.
(31:11):
Wow. So it was.
It was ridiculously smooth.
And I am grateful for all of that.
Let me ask you a question, becauseI transitioned on the job to in 2005,
and I remember that first day going back,I was a manufacturing manager.
I have led a team of 65 people, and I wentback into work, after my top surgery.
(31:31):
And during that time,my facial hair grew a little bit.
And I remember sitting outside.
I still get emotional.
I think about it,
saying the Serenityprayer because I was like,
what's my life going to be like now?
Am I going to keep my jobor are people going to accept me?
Do you remember?
I'm sure you remember.
But can you talk a little bitabout that first day, that first day
(31:54):
of going into school as Claire,
how that felt
just for you as much as you want to share
with us.
So Brian had arranged it
such that, the day before he called,
(32:14):
an emergency faculty meeting,actually faculty and staff.
So everybody was required to be there.
And I came out to themand told them what I was going to do.
And he made it very clearthat that was the end of the conversation.
And so I know that that was lovely.
And then he had arranged itso that the next morning I would meet
(32:36):
again in the library with any studentswho had direct contact with me.
So all of my Latin students, the kidsin my home room, the kids in my study
so that they would know what was comingand he timed a press release
to the minute that I started thatso that the parents were informed.
So now I've already taken careof all of the staff.
(32:59):
I've taken care of the district, administrators.
Now, I've taken care of faculty
and students and parents all in one.
So the morning that I came in,
to tell the students, this isn'tquite the same day
you're asking about, but I, I was scared,
(33:21):
I was scared,
which is not a feelingI'm unfamiliar with.
Because I spent 55 years scaredthat somebody was going to find out
who I was.
And I pulled it off.
It was great.
I had that yeara very special Latin for class was five
(33:44):
kids, four girls, one guy.
And, you know,it's like when you're a teacher,
every 10 or 12 years,you get a group that just owns your heart.
And I my career was long enoughthat I had several of those.
This was one of them.
So when I got up in front of the students,
I kept my eyes on the fives in the room,and that got me through it. And
(34:08):
two things about that the
the pride of saying
my name out loud for the first time,
which I didn't think to do,and the principal prompted me,
so what's your name?
I said, I am Claire
Rebecca McCarthy,and I thought I was going to lose it.
I, I'm going to lose it.
(34:30):
I thought I was going to lose it,and I didn't because
I kept my eyes on my fives.
The or the the blunt force.
Sorry. Eyes on fives rhymes.
So it's a much better story.
That class met in the afternoon that day,
and so I, we come inand I gave them time to talk and ask and,
(34:51):
you know, make sure they were coolbefore we got to the lesson.
And so I said, all right, great.
Let's let's turn ourattention back to it. And
this one girl,
she said, before we do that,
if anybody gives you troubleand I mean anybody faculty,
(35:12):
parents, other students, you let us knowand we'll take care of them.
Well.
And I did just start crying.
I just like, wow, thank you,
thank you for offering to murdersomeone in my behalf.
That's that's what I want most in life.
I think that's great, though,that, you know, the principal did that,
(35:34):
because I remember when I trained, travelers Insurance on travelers
Insurance had a trans personthat was transitioning on the job
and in this department, and the departmenthad about 200 employees.
And the vice president of that department,
this tiny woman says, I'm going to speakfirst, and then Tony, you can get on.
(35:54):
And I was like,okay, she comes up to the podium.
You'll get your time.
She comes up to the podium, she says,we're here today because so-and-so is
transitioning and they will be coming backto work on Monday as so-and-so.
They are a woman.They will be using the woman's room.
Traveler's insurance supports them,and you will support them.
Period. That's it.
And I remember sayingwhen they got off of that podium,
(36:16):
I was like, wow, like that is amazing.
And that they set the tone.
And that's what happenswhen somebody transitions on the job.
The the higher ups, no matterif it's the principal or whoever,
they set the tone of acceptance.
I'm so happyit happened that way. For you.
The number of administratorsthat I've worked with over the years,
the number of stories that I've heardfrom trans people to the contrary of that.
(36:37):
Yeah.
Where at bestthe support is pretty squishy
and it's like,yeah, okay, I'm saying this because H.R.
says, I need to say this, but.
And then never mind the bathrooms.Don't push your luck.
And yeah, why don't you pee at homebefore you come to work?
That is that is by farthe story of most people.
So the story that you just told, the oneI told about my principal,
(37:00):
that is so ridiculouslyrare, still, a quarter of the way
through the 21st century,it is still not in any way the norm.
I talk to people all the time
who have left or have lost their jobs
because the option for the companywas change.
(37:20):
The workplace environment.
Or, and they always seem to go with or,you know.
Why don't you justhow can you legally do that.
Well people well, there's this whole thinglike people say, wait, wait a minute.
You added anti to the anti-discriminationbill in 2010.
Yeah. Gender identity and expressionthat you can't be discriminated.
You can find work ways.
If they don't want you in the company,they don't want you in the company.
(37:44):
They'll find like,you know, lack of work or whatever.
They'll they'll get you out.
And that's, that'swhat I want for your child is I want
I want them to
hear a story like that and go,what are you talking about with that?
That doesn't happen.
I want that for this generationqueer kids.
I want them to be able to feel likethey have every right that every
(38:06):
kid does out there.
And, that's, that's going to take fighting.
It's going to take fighting.
You keep saying says hat.
Yes. What's a hat?
Sorry. So can I.
This is where I drag out my Latin skills.
Yes. Yeah. I knew you'd want to do.
So in Latin. There are two.
There are a lot of prepositions,but two of them are trans and cis
(38:30):
and cis means on this side of.
And trans means on that side of.
So when the Romans start buildingtheir empire, there's cis alpine gall,
which is the part of the province gallthat was on this side of the Alps,
and trans alpine gall,which was on that side of the Alps.
(38:50):
And that's all
it is, you know, so when you're born,the doctor makes an assignment.
And doctors at this point, despite reams
and reams of evidence to the contrary,still insist that they have two choices.
So they assign you male,or they assign you female.
If you are cisgender,you're probably fine with that.
(39:13):
And you go through your childhood
and your adolescence and your adulthoodand there's no conflict, so you're fine.
If you're trans, there is a conflict.
And that the degree of that conflict
and what you want to do to resolveit is different for every trans person.
But that's what being trans is.
Is that that arbitrary assignmentby some guy who,
(39:35):
by this point in my life is long dead,
who just peeked between my legs
and said,yep, male, move it on to the next one.
That wasn't accurate for me.
And so that makes me trans.
No, the hard part is sexuality,
which society likes to conflatewith gender identity.
(39:57):
But there are two separate things,
who you are attracted to,who you want to sleep with, who you are
romantically inclined towards,doesn't have anything to do
with your gender identity.
So heterosexuals and homosexuals,
which again implies a binary
do you know it?
Define who you are sexually interested inor romantically interested in.
(40:21):
And so in the communitywe say cis hat as a shorthand
for the vast majority of people out therewho are the default setting.
You are cisgender.
You're comfortable with the born,your body you're born into,
you're comfortable with the assignmentthat was made.
You're heterosexual, which is what,
religion and culture has long said.
(40:42):
That'sreally the only morally acceptable option.
Okay.
So yeah, it's it's a way of saying I'm,I'm outside of that default.
Yeah.
Because a lot of, like you said,like a lot of queer kids
and I, you know, I specifically workwith trans and non-binary kids.
And my wish for them,for those who want this, is that
(41:04):
like being trans
is like me being Italian, you know, like,I, I only know when I see a cannoli.
I'm like, oh yeah, that's right,I'm Italian. Yeah, it's not here.
It's not alwaysthe first thing that comes to my mind
when I explain who I am should beis not even in that explanation.
Like who?
No, no, cis hetperson comes in and says, well, hi.
(41:24):
Yeah, I'm I'm female and that's my way.
Don't do that. Right. They're just like,who are you?
This is who I am.
And I wish that for thefor the youth of our community,
I think it's going to be hard,in these next,
few years.
But I do want to say this to youabout the question about hope.
Thank you for answering thatwith the honesty that you answered it,
(41:44):
because I am telling youthat a lot of people feel that way,
but I don't think they'rethey're brave enough to say it.
They're not.
You know what I mean? Like, I don't thinkthey're brave enough to say it.
And you are brave enough to say, yeah,I don't have a relationship with Hope.
And I think a lot of people feel that way.
I, I personally,
for what the fight that'sgoing to take place and I know there's
(42:06):
going to be something that when I'min this position, I stay in the moment.
Yeah.
I can't give my energy to thingsthat I think might happen
or things that people are sayingwe're going to happen.
How how are you with that?
Like, are you are you sitting here rightnow saying, I'm just unprepared to fight?
Yeah. You're in your third season. Yeah.
(42:28):
Right.
So like,where do you see the future of Trans Kat?
Well, yeah, as you ask me that, I realizedthat I only have answered the question.
So I, I designed Trans Kat
to be this place for issue discussions
where I'm listening along the way,
it also became a place for queer peopleto just come tell their stories.
(42:49):
And I, I had not anticipated that,but I love that it can be a story archive.
You know, the.
Yeah, if youif you're active in some organization
or if you've had some conflict, you know,if you're if you're Barney Frank.
Great.
But if you're just one more of usstruggling to get by, come talk to me.
Come tell me your story on Mike.
(43:11):
And let's let's let others hear that.
And the third branch that I'm findingjust now during the election
and certainly post is that trans Kat,I've created a platform for the community.
I've created a
platform that all sorts of peoplewho are working
(43:33):
toward all sorts of good workscan come on and tell me about that.
And that word can can get out thereand spread.
And so I, I see nowTrans Kat as being all of those things.
And so
no, I don't have hope.
But yes, I get up and do the work.
And. And let people who have a wide
(43:58):
ranging relationship with hopespeak in front of the mics,
because I, I realize I keep sayingit's not about me.
It has nothing to do with me.
So let them speak.
So that's great and thank you for that.
And we're super fans of the podcast.
I have two questions. I have one.
(44:19):
The first question is for Sarahand I being new at this,
and we totally look up to youas a host of a podcast.
That's your mistake right there. Do this.
Do you have any?
Sarah, dear him in another direction.
Do you have any advice for us?
I several times you said that,you know, it's not about me.
That and I love thatbecause that's really important
(44:40):
that our guests know thatthey have a voice and that they're heard.
But do you have any advice for usmoving forward?
And and our new, venture.
Sarah and I talked
when you guys were planning this, and
I guess I would say what we talked about,
which is how I've doneI hate using marketing terms,
(45:01):
have a brand, have something
that that your show is about.
So for me, the tagline is safe
space, respectful conversations.
That's if if a show
or a potential episodedoesn't meet that standard, get rid of it.
I don't want it.
That's not the,you know, like if if, for example,
(45:23):
if I were to find someone and sit downand try to have that safe space
or discussion with and it didn't work,then it doesn't go to air.
So I have a point,have something that you want
to be doing with usbecause there are no shortage of podcasts.
Yeah.
My cats would have their own podcastif they had opposable thumbs.
(45:47):
Everybody has one.
So I sawthat as a way for mine to stand out.
And I think
as you guys, you know, I'm certainyou've already had the conversations.
But as you build,you'll come to see it through
experience as well,which is this is what we're here for.
And, and where can people find you?
(46:09):
Listen, we want to just look in the cameraright now.
Pitch yourself, pitch your podcasts.
Let us know where they canfind, you know, people can find you.
Because this I was.
Not told that I was going to have to saynice things about myself.
We're forcing you to say nice things.
And have a conversationwith friends and nope.
Nope. Oh.
So trans cat trans Q attacked.
(46:32):
It's where you can findeverything that I'm doing.
You can get the podcast there.
There's a trans cat YouTube channel,which, as I say,
I am now experimenting with video as well,and I should say that.
So I my first videoone will be coming up this this Friday,
which will not be this Friday.
When you're listening,I get that I do podcasts for a living.
(46:55):
But I just, Ithe first one that I recorded in video
was with someonewho is remarkably good looking.
I thought, okay,if you're going to do this,
set it up with Elliott,because he's really good looking
and that way everybody will payattention to Elliott and not to me.
So I'm working into more video.
(47:18):
Up until this time, YouTube has just been,you know, either
a slide show or, single slide for the whole audio.
I'm working to make thata little bit better.
I'm constantlyworking to make the show evolve.
And your cats helped you and made debuts.
Correct.
And and in their first YouTube videos.
(47:38):
Yes. Son sat in my lapfor the entire first one.
And son is is the one of the four who I.
And I'm not saying this lightly,I believe has ADHD,
so she was in my lapfor more than 45 minutes.
I would say she was still perhaps five.
Oh, so as I'm trying to interview,
the tail is in my face and she's doingthe circle thing in my laps.
(48:04):
So yeah,
Transcom you can get it everywhere.
Podcasts live I am, I, I have all sorts
of other projects going onthat I'm so happy with.
I work with the,with the out film Festival in Hartford.
I'm very proud of what I do with them.
I am. Writing a book like.
(48:25):
I am I.
I have committed to my publisher to havemy novel in by the end of December.
The end of December.
Like this year, this year, this year. Wow.
Matter of hours. And you're here. Wow.
Yeah, yeah.
That's right.
I'm going hometo to do the last sweep on it.
Wonderful.
I am, I am working as a consultantwith a short film that's being made in LA
right now. And I am so excited about this.
(48:48):
These this group of young women,
filmmakers last yearput out a short called The First Goes.
And it was it was fantastic.
It was about this, I'm.
See how I'm see how I'm doing this.
You you appreciated for this?
Yeah. You.
Yeah.
Yeah, it,it was about this Italian family.
It ends with a murder.
(49:10):
Don't want to give anything away.
And they they spent the week,we've at the festival with us.
We very oftenget creators in to the festival in June,
and I do the Q&A with them.
They were there for the whole week,and everybody fell in love with them.
They're making a new shortfilm called sorority,
(49:32):
and they sent me the script and said,
would you be essentially our, authenticity reader?
And so we had a zoom conversationwhere we,
you know, we pitched ideas back and forth.
It's it's about the sorority
that happens for
women in the bathroomand what that means for a trans woman.
(49:54):
And it's a story that they felt very,very strong.
They actually conceived of the ideain Hartford at at our film festival.
They it's a storythat they feel is very timely,
and it has a messagethat they may cry, and amazing.
And to be a part of that,to be able to say, get,
(50:15):
you know, that that little piece rightthere, that's mine.
I helped them with that.
And I just, I adore them.
I adore talking to them.
I will definitely they will be on the showwith hopefully some of the the cast once
this is out, their goal is to get itinto the Tribeca Film Festival.
Wow. That's great.
I think the deadlinefor that is February. Maybe.
(50:36):
But so I have all sorts of projectsgoing on.
And are all these project listed?
I just have everything listed on youron your website.
Well, you know, updatethe website is one of the things on the
to do list right now.
But I had to drive to Stratfordto do a podcast today.
So camp really?
Stratford? Wow.
I know it's the middle of nowhere.
(50:56):
Sorry.
Sorry, Stratford.
Yeah. You've been an amazing,amazing guest.
I'm just thrilled to to have you here.
I know, I'm sure. Tony. Yeah.Thank you for that sentiment with me.
You know, and just to, by the way,see your excitement right now.
And that joy after you've just saidthat you have no hope.
It's it's there.
(51:17):
It would be.Live what I was saying, wouldn't it? Yeah.
So so your hope looks a little different,than maybe
what it's traditionallylooks like. Like that? Yeah.
Oh, yeah. What a metaphor for my life.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean.
That's my pen. Tony,I need to write this down. Here we go.
But I was just just thrilled to see.
(51:37):
To see all that's going on in your lifeand the excitement.
And so just we're so grateful for youbeing here with us today.
You know, when we're talking to you,we love you.
We love you as well.
And we're excited to see your podcastmoving forward and all these other things
that you're involved with.
So thank you so much for being with us.
Very welcome.
And thank you guys for being with us.
We hope you enjoyed this conversationwith Clare McCarthy.
(51:59):
We'll see you again soon.
This episode is brought to youby Alex Incorporated.
Alex is a nonprofit organization dedicatedto creating a safe, compassionate
community while empowering Lgbtq+ youth,families, and allies.
Through educational,emotional, and financial support.
We hold annual events to raise fundsin support of these goals.
Visit Alex Inc Dawg for more information.
Thank you to our sponsor, Health CareAdvocates International.
Health Care Advocates Internationalis a nonprofit health and advocacy
organization dedicated to servingthe needs of the LGBTQ plus community
through prevention programs,education, advocacy, and treatment.
To learn more about Health CareAdvocate International's mission
and programs, please visit HCI, llc.com.
(00:36):
The views expressed by our guest onthis podcast are not necessarily
those of its sponsors.
Hi, welcome to Prideful Connections.
We're here with our guest, Clare McCarthy.
She is the producer and host of her ownpodcast called Tran Trans Kat,
and we are thrilled to have her with us.
So sit back, relaxand enjoy the conversation.
Hi, Sarah. Hi, Tony. Hey.
(00:57):
Good to see you both.
Good to see you, Clare. Always a pleasure.
Good to see you, Clare.
Good to see youon the other side of the microphone.
I'm not enjoying this.
It's my job to ask the questions and thenjust sit there respectfully and listen.
Well, I'm enjoying this.
This whole let's grillthe drinks woman thing is.
Yeah,I don't know. I was going to say that.
I was going to say.
(01:18):
Well,Tony and I were really excited about that.
All right. Hey. Yeah.Thank you for being here with us.
Oh, pleasure.Oh, certainly. You know, it's really.
And I'm not just saying this.
It's really an honor to have you.
Every timeI listen to one of your podcasts, I.
And I even said to Sarah the other day,if I can be half as good as you are,
I'll be really impressed with myself.
(01:39):
Okay. Let's come.
But I guess I guessmy first question to you is like, what
inspired you to actually start a podcast.
In 2016?
I don't Idon't remember who was president in 2016.
But it I saw this war against transpeople coming.
(02:00):
You know, you pay attention to the news,you read between the lines.
And it was very clearthat it was one of the issues
that the Republicans were going to useas a, an issue
to stir up the baseand to divide the country.
And at the time, I was a,
I was at the end of my Latin teachingcareer, 33 years in the classroom.
(02:22):
I was also the school librarian,
and I was really proud of the factthat every day
people saw a transgender woman in.
I'm going to use the normal word in anormal job in the normal course of events.
And I thought that that wasthat was a real contribution.
(02:44):
You know, it's the
kids cansee if they if they're leaning toward
the queer end of the spectrum,they can see, yeah,
there's a future, you can have a career,you can have a life.
And if the whole idea of gender
expansiveness is new to you.
McCarthy is about as non-threateningas you can get.
She's.
(03:05):
She's a Latin teacher,for crying out loud.
It doesn't get any more boring than that.
So not a threat.
And I was really proud of that.
But the more I thought about it,
I could see thatthis was going to be a war,
and I just couldn't reconcilesitting on the sidelines.
I, I think, to be really honest,part of that comes out of the fact
(03:29):
that during the Aids epidemic in the 80s
and 90s, I was profoundly closeted
and I did nothing, and
I still beat myself up over
that, that, you know, you could haveyou could have volunteered,
you could have gone to candlelight vigils,you could have done anything
(03:52):
you could have worked with, act up to help
get legislation passedand get the government to pay attention.
And you did nothingbecause you were scared.
And I still carry some guilt from that.
And so I thought,I need to be fighting this.
So I took early retirement.
(04:13):
I taught myself what I needed to know to,
to make and produce podcasts.
I apparently there's this thingcalled the, Do they call it the internet?
Yeah.
Where where there's some sort of,It's not a traditional media.
Do you know what they call it?
The, it's some kind of like asocializing media, I believe they call it,
(04:38):
And I've had to to teach myselfhow to function in that environment.
But that's really where it started, is
I just did not want to be on the sidelines
when when all all of this is over,however it ends,
I want to at least be able to sayI did my best.
(04:58):
Did you have a clear vision of whatthe podcast would be, what
the name would be?
I really want to know the storybehind the name.
Trans cat, I think I know,but I would love our audience
to know what was behind that.
But, but after you're telling that story,I would really like to know, like,
did you have a clear vision
of what you hope your audience would begetting out of your podcast?
(05:19):
And, and do you feel like that's evolvedor have you been reaching that type
of thing? Okay, so the, the
name story first, I live with four cats,
and I sat down with them and said, I'mgoing to be making this change.
I'm going to be home a lot more,
because I'll be working from homefor the most part.
(05:42):
And they were very concerned about thatbecause that's their time of day.
And they said, well, it'll be okay
as long as you workthe word cat in there somewhere.
And I thought, well, I'm
of the five of us, I'mthe only one who's trans.
None of you are.
And they said, shut up and do it.
So I said, okay, fine.
(06:04):
Trans cat and and Newt,
who is the CEO of trans Cat enterprises,said, yeah, and spell it with a cue.
To really screw everybody up.
With a two. That's a bad idea.
And he said, shut up and do it.
So it's trans cat.
Actually,I thought that was a clever way of
(06:25):
spelling, because for me, at the time,the Q stood for queer.
Yeah.
And it was something that would be unique.
Right.
So when you Google trans cat trans Q a t,
I'm the only one that comes up so that,
that seemed like an asset.
(06:45):
So I did that.
And then about a year and a half,two years into doing this, I realized that
I spell that I stole the idea of spelling
cat qwerty from, the the artist.
The cartoonist, Caliban.
You know, he does the cats.
Oh, you can't steal somethingif you don't know it.
No, I didn't realize it was afterwards,but when I when I was flipping back
(07:07):
through his book, cats, that'sthis collection of cartoons with cats.
And in a couple of themhe spells it Qwerty.
And I was like, oh, that's right.
That's why that was in my head.
So sorryyou're not getting any of the money.
So that'show that that's how the name came about.
I, I didn't I, I had, I had a plan
(07:33):
and my plan was pretty simply that
there was enough media out therewhere people were shouting
and people were angry for one reasonor another, and everybody had opinions
and that this sounds like self-deprecatinghumor, but it's it's true.
I could not imagine anybody
(07:55):
wanting to listen to me on a podcast.
And I thought,okay, well, work with that then.
How about you in conversationwith people who actually do have something
to say, who are health care,
you know, in the health carefield, in the mental health
care field, in the advocacyfield, in the legal field,
(08:17):
faith leadershave respectful conversations with people
and put togetheressentially a mosaic of voices
about trans issuesand, you know, queer stuff in general.
And that would justifyyou being on the air,
even though I know it's not on the air.
(08:38):
You know, for three times
a month and it evolved.
So it startedthere as a way to just be able to.
So for example, in thein the first season,
the MPV, became an issuein the gay community.
And so I got Doctor Marwan Haddad, on the show, and we talked about MPV
(09:02):
and all of the aspects of it as, like I say, as a public service.
But, you know, if you're listening to allthese distorted bits of misinformation,
what if there was a placeyou could go to just learn
there's no shouting, there'sno there's no debates.
It's a conversation.
I'm not a journalist. It'snot an interview.
(09:24):
It's just a simplelet's have a conversation.
Yeah, I think it's it's
it's amazing to me when when you saidthey know who would want to listen to me
and every body I speak to nowsays they can listen to you all day.
I mean, so many people have saidthat to me with your interviews,
and and I will brag for a momentthat I was your first guest.
That's very true. You were.And I was like, who is this person?
(09:45):
And I kind of couldn't even Google you.
There was really nothing about you.
But something told me to say yes.
Because, you know,
doing this work for so long,you have to be really careful of who.
And you came to my house, which I did.
I never let anybody into my house.
Really is not a lot of people.But you did.
You can let'slet's. Just be clear about that.
I didn't show up at your house.
No, no, no, I didn't just show up.
(10:07):
Not just like I'm here. Hello.
But you were invitedin. You're invited in.
But I gotta tell you, from the momentyou sat down,
I was like, oh, my God,this is going to be an easy hour.
Well, that sure, that comes out of.
And you, we all know each other here.
I, I do not take compliments easily.
Know but that comes out of 33
(10:30):
years of teaching and and to be honest,
I took me a lot longer than it should have
to learn that as a teacherthat it is not about me
in front of the classroom, thatthat's that's the essence of bad teaching.
If you're up there and thinking,all right, this 45 minutes,
is all about me and what I can teachthe kids you've already lost.
(10:52):
It's it's about them.
So put your ego back theresomewhere, and listen,
find out where they actually are beforeyou start presuming where they are.
And all of the things that we all know
you can't have a respectful conversation
unless people feel safe.
(11:13):
So you've got to build that.
You've got to,
you know, you think about just imagineyourself back in high school, right,
in a class, and you're sitting thereand you want to raise your hand
because you don't understandwhat the hell they're talking about.
But you're scared to do that.
I'm going to look like an idiot.I'm going to.
I'm going to make
I don't know, I'mgoing to get some kind of a reaction
(11:33):
that I don't wantfrom the teacher, from the other kids.
And so I'll just I'll just sit hereand hope it all works out for the best.
That's not conducive to learning.
And so I really felt thatthat was something I could bring to this,
is that I, I don't have an agenda beyondI want to sit and listen to you,
and I want to then put this out thereso other people can listen and learn
(11:57):
and those are my favorite episodeswhen I learn things.
Yeah, I just feel like every episodethat I've listened to, it's
just such a flow of conversation.
And that's what we're hopingthis podcast is going to be unlike.
But here's here'sa curiosity question. Oh boy.
Do you have somebody that you
really want to be on the showbut you feel that you can't reach?
(12:19):
Oh, I have, I have okay.
Well, who is your top personand pitched yourself to the camera
not to put her on the spot.
Nothing like putting me on the spot.
I okay,
top top choiceI have, I have a number of them.
I'll let me back this up a little bit.
I just interviewed a friendwho is an author and Elliot Page.
(12:44):
Elliot Page's, production companyjust this past year,
bought one of histhe rights to one of his books and is
going into production on it.
And I was like, well,you know, if you're ever sitting down
with Elliot Page, you could mention thatthere's this really great podcast,
(13:04):
but my top pick,
I'm going to be honest,is probably Jenny Finney Boylan.
Oh, Jenny.
Jenny, when you were, in,
was it Gilford?
I think it was Gilford
when you were touring with JodiPicoult over that that book, Mad honey?
I went to, I went to the launch event,
(13:26):
which was in a big church in Gilford.
And I was the only person in that churchwho was there for you.
I was sitting amongst people who were just
reading their favorite JodiPicoult books and,
and this and that, and I said,and they said, what's your favorite?
And I said,I never read any first time, I'm sorry.
(13:46):
I'm here for Jenny Finney Boylan.
And they were like, who?
I said, the coauthor of the book is
Jodi Picoult doesn't have coauthors.
Okay. All right.
Did you read the book? Yeah. Sorry.
And as soon as, you know,
within five minutes of Jenny coming out,she had won over the crowd.
They all loved. Her. She's amazing. I.
(14:08):
I approached you after the event,which I probably shouldn't have.
I gave you my card.
And essentially I begged you to come onthe show, and you said, no, thanks.
I'm begging again.
When and where?
At your convenience.
I would love to sit down with you.
Your book, She's Not.
(14:28):
There was a huge help to mewhen I was transitioning.
It was the book that I recommended to CIS.
Had people who wanted to understandwhat no world I was doing.
So give it a thought.
Thank you.
The average cis het person would thinkthat you'd run out of different facets
(14:50):
of this subject to talk about,and it couldn't be further from the truth.
There's always one more.
Oh, let's add that to the mix.
Just this season,
this is season three,and I started this season by talking
to Mack Beggs, who is a, wrestler
slash MMA fighter from Texas.
(15:12):
He was embroiled in a huge controversywhen he was in high school because Texas.
Nuff said. I don't even want to. Yeah.
But what Mack went through and what hedoes, he's just the most remarkable guy.
And I was so lucky to talk with him.
A couple episodes later,I got to sit down for an hour.
(15:34):
I don't know why I'm gesturing like this.
I got to sit down for an hour withCongressman Barney Frank for an hour.
Anything you want to talk aboutthat has happened
in in LGBTQ rights in our lifetimes.
That's Barney Frank
and he.
(15:54):
Yeah. He said, yeah, let's do it.
I have his, I sent him a letter
and he sent me a postcard backsaying, absolutely, let's do this.
And I have that framed above my deskso that when, when it's feels
when those days when it feels like I'mnot, I'm not getting anything done here.
I'm not doing anything.
(16:14):
I can look upand I can see that Barney Frank
looked at my show and said, yeah,this is a good vehicle.
Let's let's do this.
Well, let me interrupt you saying that
because you saidyou're not getting anything done.
I will say thatwhen just to give you my example.
Right. My, my story with you.
Yeah. When my child first came out,I didn't.
It was difficult in many different ways.
(16:36):
And of course, I didn't know anythingabout being transgender.
Never mind being a parent of a childwho is transgender and what I need to do.
So, I
met you
at or I think I met you at an event,actually,
before I met you againat the church in Gilford.
(16:56):
But I started listening to your episodes,
and it really, like,just helped me tremendously.
All the different guests you had onand you are, as Tony says.
I mean, you were an absolute natural
when it comes to to interviewingand speaking and conversing.
And so it wasthe episodes were really easy
to listen to and enjoyable,but it also helped me as a parent.
(17:19):
There was there's enough in there. Yes.
And that's for me.
That's one of the pillarsthat I'm building on, is that
it shouldn't be
me trying to give a whole bunchof information.
It's just me in context.
You know, the episode that you and I didtogether is me talking to a parent
who's looking for answers,who can't understand that,
(17:42):
you know, that'sthat's simple, basic human experience.
So that's what we focus on.
We'll also, if you remember, I called youthe night before that episode and said
I was concernedbecause I wasn't going to be able to
I wanted to be able to express myselfhonestly.
Right.
And I knew that my story was goingto be different from the two other mothers
(18:02):
that were on there, and I wanted tobe able to be honest, honest.
But Iwas afraid, and you really put me at ease.
And you said, you know, come onand just say what
you need to say and be your honest self.
And that that would also help otherparents who might have been struggling.
(18:23):
I like I.
Was I thought that that wasthat was the heart of that episode.
I mean, there was a lot of good thingsthat were brought up.
We hadthere were four of us in the conversation.
But to hearyou have the courage to say out loud,
yeah,but here's what I'm still struggling with.
Yeah, that's the point.
That was wortheverybody listening to it for.
(18:45):
And that was brave because that'swhat a lot of parents are there,
but they don't want to say it. Yes.
And when you when they hearanother parent say, you know,
listen, I, I accept my kid, I'm
trying to affirm my kid,but I'm still struggling with this.
They don't feel so guiltyabout where they're at.
Right? Right.
So I, I listen to that episode
and I was really proud of youthat you were that vulnerable to do that.
(19:07):
Thank you.
But you made it easy for me.
So I appreciate. You.
Thank you for stuffout of people that I know.
Yeah, I.
Know there are times when I sit, I,
when I think I made another guest cry,this is great.
This is real.
It's if I could only make all of my guestscry, I would be.
Yeah. You have an energy. I'm safe. Right?
And I said this to youin the last interview that you did with me
(19:29):
for my book,is that you have an energy of safety.
Clearthat my heart and my soul just open up and
and not too many people can meanthat's not true.
I can't sayI don't cry a lot. When he does.
But you really, you you.
I feel safe going really deep into themy pain.
And we did in that episode.
We did? Yeah, we did it.
(19:50):
And your episodes are alwaysa balance of humor and and heaviness like.
And I love that.
I really love that about the way you,the way you do your shows,
because it's not all funnyand it's not all,
oh my God,I don't know if I have to take a Valium
after I listen to this or,you know, do something to calm my nerves.
But it's just just such a balance.
(20:11):
There needs to be.
Whatever the
conversation is, part ofmy job is to be a counterpoint.
You know, sometimes to highlightwhat you're talking about.
Some times to sort of gently.
But as you were saying,make sure that the balance is there,
that if we're getting too dark,we find a way to
(20:33):
navigate into more still waters.
I want all of that.
I want people to bebrutally open and honest with me.
I, I, I have been tryingI haven't found the right person yet.
I want to find a religious leaderwho does not support trans rights,
but is able to sit downand have a conversation,
(20:55):
a respectful conversation,because I one of the things that I wanted
when I started planning it was I wanteda thread of faith leaders throughout.
So that so that queer people wouldunderstand that religion doesn't hate you.
Which is what I grew upnot believing, not fearing, but knowing.
I knew that my religion hated meand that I if I were to open my mouth
(21:20):
and say this is who I am,I would have no place there.
So I wanted that to be part of Trans Katand so I've,
I talked to, Rabbi Marci Bellows andoh my goodness,
the two of us stayed at a certain pointshe said, we should rename.
We should rename this podcastto nerds in a synagogue.
Yes, yes we should.
(21:41):
I've talked with Aaron Miller.
Yep. I had,
Riley Page,
and I, I just did a really wonderful,
episode with, with Daryl Goodwin.
Oh, wow.
That's amazing.
Yeah. It's,
(22:03):
and that that was one of the timesthat I felt what you were describing.
When I'm sitting with him, I feel safe.
I felt, you know, I,I think I at a certain point,
I kind of lost the objective of I'm,I'm running this interview,
and it was just the two of us talking,and that was a joy.
(22:25):
It was an absolute joy.
So I like having the religious thread,but I would like to have that.
I have an idea for somebody.
I just haven't had the timeor the courage to reach out yet.
Yeah, I.
Think that's very interestingbecause Sarah and I,
when we were planning out this podcast,we do want to have people on the show
that don't have the same viewsthat we do, but
(22:45):
are able to sit down and have a calmand respectful conversation
because that's the only waypeople are going to like, learn about.
Yeah, because I always say
the peoplethat don't believe in what I believe
in, believe in what they believe inas much as I believe in what I believe.
And if you can follow that, right, right.
So to be able to have a very respectful,calm conversation,
(23:06):
that's not going to be heatedand end up like,
you know, the rest of the countrywhen they're screaming at each other,
nobody listens, you know,speaking of the rest of the country,
well, can we get into that for sure?
Sure.
Where's the Kleenex?
So, right here.
Okay. Thank you.
So we've been in this fightfor a very long time,
(23:28):
you and I, we've been in the communityfor a very long time.
We've we've lived through, man.
We don't have any rights at all.
How do we support each other, too?Oh, my God, we have some rights.
And people are actually being nice to us.
And the youth of our communityare actually getting what they need
to survive and live.
And now it looks like,
you know, there's a potential possibilityfor us going back 20 years.
(23:51):
Do you
when you think about that, and I'msure you've given this a lot of thought
because it's always in our faces,unfortunately.
Do you have any hope for the future,and if so,
what what what what keeps your hope alive
in this time?
(24:13):
There's an answer I give to that.
That sounds flippant.
But it's not.
And that is that hope.
And I are not on speaking terms.
I am not an optimist.
I do not hope,
that things will get better.
I believe that the true test of character
(24:36):
is whether you will stand and fightwhen there is absolutely no hope.
When there is no way,
you certainly no wayyou're going to win this battle.
Let maybe not even the war.
That's the true test of character.
And that's.
I know,
(24:58):
I know how that sounds.
I know that's that sounds dark.
But I don't have a good workingrelationship with Hope and I.
And I think that
when the election happened this year.
I had all the feelings,same as a lot of us.
(25:19):
But when that passed, what I was left
with was a sense of commitmentand dedication and
and in some way,there's a sense of relief.
I was, you know, this what I do with Trans
Kat would be unnecessaryif we were treated, like,
with basic human decencyand with, you know, equal human rights.
(25:39):
I wouldn't it would just be me and my egoin front of a microphone.
And that would be the point at which transget should probably stop. But
it is going to be a really
awful four years, possibly eight years.
And if you're looking at the Supreme Courta lot longer than that,
probably close to 20 years, and that.
(26:05):
That's not about me.
That's the future.
And, you know, as somebody who workswith trans youth, as somebody
who brought trans youth into the world,that's what we're fighting for here.
Right? Not again.
It's there's there is no reasonanybody should care about me.
But I am the older version
(26:28):
of these kids that you're spreadingmisinformation about.
I, I carry the scars that I carry
could be avoided if we could just havethe respectful conversations
and you could drop the talking pointsand the rhetoric, and we could just
listen to each other because it'sthe kids caught in the crossfire and,
(26:51):
well, I won't
say despair, but that's where I feelthe opposite of hope
is when I look at whatall of this is going to do to trans youth.
Yeah.
Can you talk a little bitabout your journey?
I can I was closeted till I was 55.
(27:14):
And I came out and transitioned.
When you were at work. In school?
Yeah. How was that?
It was fantastic.
And it was.
All right.
Let's go with what an optimist would say.
It was fantasticbecause my principal went out of his way
to make sure that the roadwas as paved as humanly possible.
(27:38):
I came to him on the first day of school
because I had decided overthe summer that I was going to do this.
And so I came to him on the first dayof school, and I explained it, and I said,
But I've got my appointment with myendocrinologist, whom I haven't met yet.
Hi, Katie Tierney, we love you. Hi, Katie.
(27:58):
We love you. We do.
I said my appointment is at
first still another three months,so I can't do anything.
I can't say anything because in my head,I was convinced
I was going to have to go into thatmeeting and argue for my transness.
I was have to I was going to have to gosee this this Katherine Tierney and say,
(28:20):
okay, here are the reasonsthat I deserve to go on HRT.
Here are the reasons I deserve toto transition.
And of course, that turned out to be not.
Because that's the way it was.
You had to stand and sit in front ofa committee right back in the day and say,
this is who I am.
And they say, okay, well,
if you are that, then you need to walkthat talk for a year.
(28:41):
And then if you do that for a year,then we'll consider giving you HRT.
Then we'll start. Yeah, yeah.
That's the way it used to be.
In some countries it is still like.
If you can even get the.If you can even get that right.
But in Connecticut there was a threedoctors that you used to sit in front of.
Yeah.
But and it turned outto be just ridiculous.
Something.
And Katie would put me right at easeat first and, well,
(29:03):
laughed at me, which is something I understand.
So she laughed and she said,no, no, no, no, no, I'm not a gatekeeper.
I'm here to make sure that whatever we domatches your
your health,your body, your age, you, whatever.
We want to make surethat we're doing the right thing for you.
And that's it.
So we just moved forward.
(29:24):
Once I had that information,I went back to the principal.
And in that three months,we had gamed out every possible able
outcome avenue,everything that could possibly come up.
We had already put into placecontingent plans.
Just he and I.
The superintendentwas nominally supportive, but not really.
(29:46):
The community,the community I was teaching in
has a pretty pronounced reputationin Connecticut
for being, racist
and not particularlytolerant of the queers.
And so Iknew that that was part of the community.
(30:07):
I was showing up and trying to helpevery day.
He watched my back.
It never it almost never reached me.
Once or twice things broke through.
But he had my back,and I owe him forever for that.
That's a blood debt.
And. And, Brian, if you're listening,I am so grateful to you
(30:29):
still for that.
So I, I did it, and it was ridiculous.
All of my queer friends my age
who were angry at me.
How did it.
So how did it go at work?It went fine. They.
So you didn't run into any problems?There wasn't any.
(30:50):
Now, they took me out for drinksthat when I, when I had told them
I was going to do this,we went out and we talked.
How about parents?
And Iknow some of them are not happy, but.
Yeah, but that was kept from me.
How about your family?
Was your family supportive as think?
Yeah.
No, no horror stories I hate you.
(31:11):
Wow. So it was.
It was ridiculously smooth.
And I am grateful for all of that.
Let me ask you a question, becauseI transitioned on the job to in 2005,
and I remember that first day going back,I was a manufacturing manager.
I have led a team of 65 people, and I wentback into work, after my top surgery.
(31:31):
And during that time,my facial hair grew a little bit.
And I remember sitting outside.
I still get emotional.
I think about it,
saying the Serenityprayer because I was like,
what's my life going to be like now?
Am I going to keep my jobor are people going to accept me?
Do you remember?
I'm sure you remember.
But can you talk a little bitabout that first day, that first day
(31:54):
of going into school as Claire,
how that felt
just for you as much as you want to share
with us.
So Brian had arranged it
such that, the day before he called,
(32:14):
an emergency faculty meeting,actually faculty and staff.
So everybody was required to be there.
And I came out to themand told them what I was going to do.
And he made it very clearthat that was the end of the conversation.
And so I know that that was lovely.
And then he had arranged itso that the next morning I would meet
(32:36):
again in the library with any studentswho had direct contact with me.
So all of my Latin students, the kidsin my home room, the kids in my study
so that they would know what was comingand he timed a press release
to the minute that I started thatso that the parents were informed.
So now I've already taken careof all of the staff.
(32:59):
I've taken care of the district, administrators.
Now, I've taken care of faculty
and students and parents all in one.
So the morning that I came in,
to tell the students, this isn'tquite the same day
you're asking about, but I, I was scared,
(33:21):
I was scared,
which is not a feelingI'm unfamiliar with.
Because I spent 55 years scaredthat somebody was going to find out
who I was.
And I pulled it off.
It was great.
I had that yeara very special Latin for class was five
(33:44):
kids, four girls, one guy.
And, you know,it's like when you're a teacher,
every 10 or 12 years,you get a group that just owns your heart.
And I my career was long enoughthat I had several of those.
This was one of them.
So when I got up in front of the students,
I kept my eyes on the fives in the room,and that got me through it. And
(34:08):
two things about that the
the pride of saying
my name out loud for the first time,
which I didn't think to do,and the principal prompted me,
so what's your name?
I said, I am Claire
Rebecca McCarthy,and I thought I was going to lose it.
I, I'm going to lose it.
(34:30):
I thought I was going to lose it,and I didn't because
I kept my eyes on my fives.
The or the the blunt force.
Sorry. Eyes on fives rhymes.
So it's a much better story.
That class met in the afternoon that day,
and so I, we come inand I gave them time to talk and ask and,
(34:51):
you know, make sure they were coolbefore we got to the lesson.
And so I said, all right, great.
Let's let's turn ourattention back to it. And
this one girl,
she said, before we do that,
if anybody gives you troubleand I mean anybody faculty,
(35:12):
parents, other students, you let us knowand we'll take care of them.
Well.
And I did just start crying.
I just like, wow, thank you,
thank you for offering to murdersomeone in my behalf.
That's that's what I want most in life.
I think that's great, though,that, you know, the principal did that,
(35:34):
because I remember when I trained, travelers Insurance on travelers
Insurance had a trans personthat was transitioning on the job
and in this department, and the departmenthad about 200 employees.
And the vice president of that department,
this tiny woman says, I'm going to speakfirst, and then Tony, you can get on.
(35:54):
And I was like,okay, she comes up to the podium.
You'll get your time.
She comes up to the podium, she says,we're here today because so-and-so is
transitioning and they will be coming backto work on Monday as so-and-so.
They are a woman.They will be using the woman's room.
Traveler's insurance supports them,and you will support them.
Period. That's it.
And I remember sayingwhen they got off of that podium,
(36:16):
I was like, wow, like that is amazing.
And that they set the tone.
And that's what happenswhen somebody transitions on the job.
The the higher ups, no matterif it's the principal or whoever,
they set the tone of acceptance.
I'm so happyit happened that way. For you.
The number of administratorsthat I've worked with over the years,
the number of stories that I've heardfrom trans people to the contrary of that.
(36:37):
Yeah.
Where at bestthe support is pretty squishy
and it's like,yeah, okay, I'm saying this because H.R.
says, I need to say this, but.
And then never mind the bathrooms.Don't push your luck.
And yeah, why don't you pee at homebefore you come to work?
That is that is by farthe story of most people.
So the story that you just told, the oneI told about my principal,
(37:00):
that is so ridiculouslyrare, still, a quarter of the way
through the 21st century,it is still not in any way the norm.
I talk to people all the time
who have left or have lost their jobs
because the option for the companywas change.
(37:20):
The workplace environment.
Or, and they always seem to go with or,you know.
Why don't you justhow can you legally do that.
Well people well, there's this whole thinglike people say, wait, wait a minute.
You added anti to the anti-discriminationbill in 2010.
Yeah. Gender identity and expressionthat you can't be discriminated.
You can find work ways.
If they don't want you in the company,they don't want you in the company.
(37:44):
They'll find like,you know, lack of work or whatever.
They'll they'll get you out.
And that's, that'swhat I want for your child is I want
I want them to
hear a story like that and go,what are you talking about with that?
That doesn't happen.
I want that for this generationqueer kids.
I want them to be able to feel likethey have every right that every
(38:06):
kid does out there.
And, that's, that's going to take fighting.
It's going to take fighting.
You keep saying says hat.
Yes. What's a hat?
Sorry. So can I.
This is where I drag out my Latin skills.
Yes. Yeah. I knew you'd want to do.
So in Latin. There are two.
There are a lot of prepositions,but two of them are trans and cis
(38:30):
and cis means on this side of.
And trans means on that side of.
So when the Romans start buildingtheir empire, there's cis alpine gall,
which is the part of the province gallthat was on this side of the Alps,
and trans alpine gall,which was on that side of the Alps.
(38:50):
And that's all
it is, you know, so when you're born,the doctor makes an assignment.
And doctors at this point, despite reams
and reams of evidence to the contrary,still insist that they have two choices.
So they assign you male,or they assign you female.
If you are cisgender,you're probably fine with that.
(39:13):
And you go through your childhood
and your adolescence and your adulthoodand there's no conflict, so you're fine.
If you're trans, there is a conflict.
And that the degree of that conflict
and what you want to do to resolveit is different for every trans person.
But that's what being trans is.
Is that that arbitrary assignmentby some guy who,
(39:35):
by this point in my life is long dead,
who just peeked between my legs
and said,yep, male, move it on to the next one.
That wasn't accurate for me.
And so that makes me trans.
No, the hard part is sexuality,
which society likes to conflatewith gender identity.
(39:57):
But there are two separate things,
who you are attracted to,who you want to sleep with, who you are
romantically inclined towards,doesn't have anything to do
with your gender identity.
So heterosexuals and homosexuals,
which again implies a binary
do you know it?
Define who you are sexually interested inor romantically interested in.
(40:21):
And so in the communitywe say cis hat as a shorthand
for the vast majority of people out therewho are the default setting.
You are cisgender.
You're comfortable with the born,your body you're born into,
you're comfortable with the assignmentthat was made.
You're heterosexual, which is what,
religion and culture has long said.
(40:42):
That'sreally the only morally acceptable option.
Okay.
So yeah, it's it's a way of saying I'm,I'm outside of that default.
Yeah.
Because a lot of, like you said,like a lot of queer kids
and I, you know, I specifically workwith trans and non-binary kids.
And my wish for them,for those who want this, is that
(41:04):
like being trans
is like me being Italian, you know, like,I, I only know when I see a cannoli.
I'm like, oh yeah, that's right,I'm Italian. Yeah, it's not here.
It's not alwaysthe first thing that comes to my mind
when I explain who I am should beis not even in that explanation.
Like who?
No, no, cis hetperson comes in and says, well, hi.
(41:24):
Yeah, I'm I'm female and that's my way.
Don't do that. Right. They're just like,who are you?
This is who I am.
And I wish that for thefor the youth of our community,
I think it's going to be hard,in these next,
few years.
But I do want to say this to youabout the question about hope.
Thank you for answering thatwith the honesty that you answered it,
(41:44):
because I am telling youthat a lot of people feel that way,
but I don't think they'rethey're brave enough to say it.
They're not.
You know what I mean? Like, I don't thinkthey're brave enough to say it.
And you are brave enough to say, yeah,I don't have a relationship with Hope.
And I think a lot of people feel that way.
I, I personally,
for what the fight that'sgoing to take place and I know there's
(42:06):
going to be something that when I'min this position, I stay in the moment.
Yeah.
I can't give my energy to thingsthat I think might happen
or things that people are sayingwe're going to happen.
How how are you with that?
Like, are you are you sitting here rightnow saying, I'm just unprepared to fight?
Yeah. You're in your third season. Yeah.
(42:28):
Right.
So like,where do you see the future of Trans Kat?
Well, yeah, as you ask me that, I realizedthat I only have answered the question.
So I, I designed Trans Kat
to be this place for issue discussions
where I'm listening along the way,
it also became a place for queer peopleto just come tell their stories.
(42:49):
And I, I had not anticipated that,but I love that it can be a story archive.
You know, the.
Yeah, if youif you're active in some organization
or if you've had some conflict, you know,if you're if you're Barney Frank.
Great.
But if you're just one more of usstruggling to get by, come talk to me.
Come tell me your story on Mike.
(43:11):
And let's let's let others hear that.
And the third branch that I'm findingjust now during the election
and certainly post is that trans Kat,I've created a platform for the community.
I've created a
platform that all sorts of peoplewho are working
(43:33):
toward all sorts of good workscan come on and tell me about that.
And that word can can get out thereand spread.
And so I, I see nowTrans Kat as being all of those things.
And so
no, I don't have hope.
But yes, I get up and do the work.
And. And let people who have a wide
(43:58):
ranging relationship with hopespeak in front of the mics,
because I, I realize I keep sayingit's not about me.
It has nothing to do with me.
So let them speak.
So that's great and thank you for that.
And we're super fans of the podcast.
I have two questions. I have one.
(44:19):
The first question is for Sarahand I being new at this,
and we totally look up to youas a host of a podcast.
That's your mistake right there. Do this.
Do you have any?
Sarah, dear him in another direction.
Do you have any advice for us?
I several times you said that,you know, it's not about me.
That and I love thatbecause that's really important
(44:40):
that our guests know thatthey have a voice and that they're heard.
But do you have any advice for usmoving forward?
And and our new, venture.
Sarah and I talked
when you guys were planning this, and
I guess I would say what we talked about,
which is how I've doneI hate using marketing terms,
(45:01):
have a brand, have something
that that your show is about.
So for me, the tagline is safe
space, respectful conversations.
That's if if a show
or a potential episodedoesn't meet that standard, get rid of it.
I don't want it.
That's not the,you know, like if if, for example,
(45:23):
if I were to find someone and sit downand try to have that safe space
or discussion with and it didn't work,then it doesn't go to air.
So I have a point,have something that you want
to be doing with usbecause there are no shortage of podcasts.
Yeah.
My cats would have their own podcastif they had opposable thumbs.
(45:47):
Everybody has one.
So I sawthat as a way for mine to stand out.
And I think
as you guys, you know, I'm certainyou've already had the conversations.
But as you build,you'll come to see it through
experience as well,which is this is what we're here for.
And, and where can people find you?
(46:09):
Listen, we want to just look in the cameraright now.
Pitch yourself, pitch your podcasts.
Let us know where they canfind, you know, people can find you.
Because this I was.
Not told that I was going to have to saynice things about myself.
We're forcing you to say nice things.
And have a conversationwith friends and nope.
Nope. Oh.
So trans cat trans Q attacked.
(46:32):
It's where you can findeverything that I'm doing.
You can get the podcast there.
There's a trans cat YouTube channel,which, as I say,
I am now experimenting with video as well,and I should say that.
So I my first videoone will be coming up this this Friday,
which will not be this Friday.
When you're listening,I get that I do podcasts for a living.
(46:55):
But I just, Ithe first one that I recorded in video
was with someonewho is remarkably good looking.
I thought, okay,if you're going to do this,
set it up with Elliott,because he's really good looking
and that way everybody will payattention to Elliott and not to me.
So I'm working into more video.
(47:18):
Up until this time, YouTube has just been,you know, either
a slide show or, single slide for the whole audio.
I'm working to make thata little bit better.
I'm constantlyworking to make the show evolve.
And your cats helped you and made debuts.
Correct.
And and in their first YouTube videos.
(47:38):
Yes. Son sat in my lapfor the entire first one.
And son is is the one of the four who I.
And I'm not saying this lightly,I believe has ADHD,
so she was in my lapfor more than 45 minutes.
I would say she was still perhaps five.
Oh, so as I'm trying to interview,
the tail is in my face and she's doingthe circle thing in my laps.
(48:04):
So yeah,
Transcom you can get it everywhere.
Podcasts live I am, I, I have all sorts
of other projects going onthat I'm so happy with.
I work with the,with the out film Festival in Hartford.
I'm very proud of what I do with them.
I am. Writing a book like.
(48:25):
I am I.
I have committed to my publisher to havemy novel in by the end of December.
The end of December.
Like this year, this year, this year. Wow.
Matter of hours. And you're here. Wow.
Yeah, yeah.
That's right.
I'm going hometo to do the last sweep on it.
Wonderful.
I am, I am working as a consultantwith a short film that's being made in LA
right now. And I am so excited about this.
(48:48):
These this group of young women,
filmmakers last yearput out a short called The First Goes.
And it was it was fantastic.
It was about this, I'm.
See how I'm see how I'm doing this.
You you appreciated for this?
Yeah. You.
Yeah.
Yeah, it,it was about this Italian family.
It ends with a murder.
(49:10):
Don't want to give anything away.
And they they spent the week,we've at the festival with us.
We very oftenget creators in to the festival in June,
and I do the Q&A with them.
They were there for the whole week,and everybody fell in love with them.
They're making a new shortfilm called sorority,
(49:32):
and they sent me the script and said,
would you be essentially our, authenticity reader?
And so we had a zoom conversationwhere we,
you know, we pitched ideas back and forth.
It's it's about the sorority
that happens for
women in the bathroomand what that means for a trans woman.
(49:54):
And it's a story that they felt very,very strong.
They actually conceived of the ideain Hartford at at our film festival.
They it's a storythat they feel is very timely,
and it has a messagethat they may cry, and amazing.
And to be a part of that,to be able to say, get,
(50:15):
you know, that that little piece rightthere, that's mine.
I helped them with that.
And I just, I adore them.
I adore talking to them.
I will definitely they will be on the showwith hopefully some of the the cast once
this is out, their goal is to get itinto the Tribeca Film Festival.
Wow. That's great.
I think the deadlinefor that is February. Maybe.
(50:36):
But so I have all sorts of projectsgoing on.
And are all these project listed?
I just have everything listed on youron your website.
Well, you know, updatethe website is one of the things on the
to do list right now.
But I had to drive to Stratfordto do a podcast today.
So camp really?
Stratford? Wow.
I know it's the middle of nowhere.
(50:56):
Sorry.
Sorry, Stratford.
Yeah. You've been an amazing,amazing guest.
I'm just thrilled to to have you here.
I know, I'm sure. Tony. Yeah.Thank you for that sentiment with me.
You know, and just to, by the way,see your excitement right now.
And that joy after you've just saidthat you have no hope.
It's it's there.
(51:17):
It would be.Live what I was saying, wouldn't it? Yeah.
So so your hope looks a little different,than maybe
what it's traditionallylooks like. Like that? Yeah.
Oh, yeah. What a metaphor for my life.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean.
That's my pen. Tony,I need to write this down. Here we go.
But I was just just thrilled to see.
(51:37):
To see all that's going on in your lifeand the excitement.
And so just we're so grateful for youbeing here with us today.
You know, when we're talking to you,we love you.
We love you as well.
And we're excited to see your podcastmoving forward and all these other things
that you're involved with.
So thank you so much for being with us.
Very welcome.
And thank you guys for being with us.
We hope you enjoyed this conversationwith Clare McCarthy.
(51:59):
We'll see you again soon.
This episode is brought to youby Alex Incorporated.
Alex is a nonprofit organization dedicatedto creating a safe, compassionate
community while empowering Lgbtq+ youth,families, and allies.
Through educational,emotional, and financial support.
We hold annual events to raise fundsin support of these goals.
Visit Alex Inc Dawg for more information.
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