Grieving your old life

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Episode Transcript

Zoe (00:00):
Chronic.

(00:00):
Illness changes people.
Before getting a diagnosis.
life is always different than itis after getting a diagnosis.
Or after symptoms start.
There's things that are thesame.
There's some things.
That don't change, but a bigpart of life changes.
I'm Robyn I'm Zoe.

(00:21):
And we.
Our mom and daughter and Zoe haspots.

Robyn (00:29):
Today we' talking about grieving your old self.
After diagnosis or onset.
the symptoms, life changes.

Zoe (00:38):
Before you start having symptoms with any type of
chronic.
Illness or major health problem.
You are able to do a lot morethan you would.
After, or then you are after achronic illness.

Robyn (00:57):
And that's what.
Today's focus is going to beabout, we're going to talk with
Zoe about how.
How.
Her life changed and sometimesit's not.
Exactly that it's not like alife switch goes off when.
You get a diagnosis, you a lightswitch,

Zoe (01:13):
a light.
What did I say?
A

Robyn (01:14):
lifeline.
it's not like a, like a lightswitch.
But your life changes becauseit's slowly changing and you're
in.
This like.
It's almost like a.
Purgatory.
Story of not knowing what'sgoing on, you know, that
something's happening.
You're having pain, you'rehaving symptoms and you're
dealing with it.
But you don't fuse and youdon't.
Y, you don't know how long it'sgoing to be, or if it's going to

(01:36):
be a forever thing.
So.
So I think that It's hard.
But sometimes it's almost easieronce you get the.
The diagnosis because then, youknow You know, What you're
dealing.
With or, you know At least youhave an idea.
You can start to plan your life.
So now you have a.

(01:57):
Diagnosis.
And now, you know, what'shappening to you.
And you know why it's happeningto you.
And then you can start to worktoward.
Towards.
Coping.
Or changing.
So.
So that you can either preventor get rid of your symptoms or
at least manage.
Your symptoms.
So where do you want to startwith that?
Zoe?

Zoe (02:18):
Honestly, it's.
It's.
It's kind of a complicated thingto think about.
If you're not somebody with achronic illness.
Illness.
Because.
When we think about it.
If you say substituted with abroken arm.
Your life doesn't really changemuch before and after you break
an arm like.
Yes.
After you break your arm, youhave to be in a cast for a

(02:39):
while.
Heal a little bit, but then youget better and things go back to
normal.
And a lot of the times people.
Think of chronic illnesses.
In that same way.
Like you might not feel goodnow, but go home rest.
Test.
You'll feel better tomorrow andthat's not necessarily always
true.
It's something that you'reconstantly having to live with.

(02:59):
You constantly have to.
Be aware.
I have a chronic illness.
I cannot do.
Everything.
There's some things that I'mprobably not.
Going to be able to do maybeever, maybe for a while.
Maybe not till tomorrow.
Bro.
And it's not always going to bethat way.
You're not always.
Not going to be able to do thatthing.

(03:21):
You.
You can work your way back intoa lot of things and find ways.
To balance out what you want tobe able to do with what you are
able to do.

Robyn (03:30):
Well, and I think there's power in knowing.
Well, Well, there's just powerknowledge.
What's happening to you first ofall, but there's also power.
And knowing.
Okay.
I have, now that I have thiscondition with you, it's pots.
What.
Should I be doing like, what'sgonna make me.
What's okay to do.
Versus.
What's not.
Okay.
Yeah.

(03:50):
And then what should I be doingto get myself better?
And what.
What should I not be doing?
Cause it's gonna make me worse.
And then there's.
That like middle ground wherelike, I really, really, really
want to do this.
What is going to happen if I doit.
Like, am I gonna you know,knowing, I think sometimes.
It's important to know, likethere are some conditions that

(04:12):
you posse.
Possibly could.
Do certain things and.
Make your condition worse.
Yeah.
There's also some things thatare just.
Going to have symptoms that getworse and it might be for a
short time.
And then there's the things thatyou can do.
Two.
Heal your disease that, or.

(04:33):
Or your condition to where itsort of goes away.
But not all of, not everychronic illness has.
All of those rental options andoptions.
So with pots.
With you.
What do you.
You, how do you.
Do you look at it like.
Dang, I'm never gonna do.

(04:54):
Whatever my life.
Is always going to be differentor in some ways, like there's
certain.
Certain

Zoe (04:59):
things.
That I have that outlook onthere's some things.
That I'm never going to be ableto do at the level that I could
before.
And like dance is one example ofthat.
I know that I am.
I'm never going to be able todance the way that I could
before.
And you know what I used to.
Be able to do, like I was doingbackbends flips, splits.

(05:19):
All sorts of differentflexibility things that I don't
think I'm.
I'm ever going to be able to doagain, just because of all the
different postural changes thatare involved.
Involved with that.
I would end up on the floor.

Robyn (05:31):
Is there ever going to be.
Way that you could, like, I'veheard some people say that
there's.
As a way to.
How do you know the right.
That word is, but to like getbetter.
And is there, is there.
Where do you think there couldbe something that you like
there's.
Was a time where it could bebetter or is it just going to be
a thing that you've just kind oflearned how to live?
Your life and you have to justkind of like manage.

Zoe (05:53):
I think there might.
Be a time where it's better.
Like, I know that there's a lotof like clinical.
Trials and stuff going on withpots and that kind of thing
right now, just because.
It is becoming such a biggerdeal because of COVID.
But I still like.
Because my pots is not fromCOVID and it's not from.

(06:14):
From an illness and it's notfrom what most of these trials
are.
For.
Yeah.
I don't know that there's evergoing to be something.
Something that comes out.
That's like a cure for pots orlike, Extreme.
Extremely helpful to the pointwhere I'm going to be able to go
back and do everything that Icould before.
For.
Like there is a lot that I stillam able to do.

(06:35):
And the bigger picture.
But there's also a lot that Ican.
I can't do, or that's not easy.
Like most of it is not easy.
For me.
but because I want to do it, Ichoose.
To go and to dance and to end upin pain.
Or having a really hard timewhile I'm there, like My.

(06:55):
My Saturday classes that Iteach, that's three hours that
I'm teaching.
And I haven't even danced thewhole time.
I actually danced very little.
I.
Warm them up.
And then I instruct them acrossthe floor.
Most of.
The time.
I don't really have to doanything for that.
And then I have started.
Teaching them their dances,which obviously I have to do
stuff for that part, but not.

(07:16):
To an extreme level.
There's still kids.
They're not.
Super.
The advanced.
But even after those three hoursof teaching, I.
I am exhausted.
Like every Saturday afterteaching I'm.
I'm just ready to go home.
I don't really want to doanything else, which most of the
time, because.
I am the way that I am.
I give myself something else todo on a Saturday afternoon.
Afternoon, because I'm like, Ican't waste the rest to the day.

(07:38):
Sunday's my day off.
Or.
Or whatever.
So.

Robyn (07:43):
So you when.
When you go to dance or whateverit is like, if you.
You really had something thatyou really wanted to do?
You have had.
Pot's.
I mean, not that you've had itfor a super long time, but
you've had it long enough towhere, you know, If I do this,
this could happen.
Like, have you ever.
I might be my add is getting thebest of me.

(08:03):
Have you ever.
Gone and been like, okay, Ireally want to do this.
I don't care what therepercussions is I'm just going
to go and be like, I'm going tosh I can do.
A triple pair of what I'm goingto go do it.
Have you done something likethat?
And then.
You're like, oh, I really wish Ididn't do that.

Zoe (08:18):
Yeah.
There's a couple of times like,I'll be teaching and I'll be
like showing them turns anddoing.
Doing turns with them, like onetime, probably like my first or
second week.
Teaching.
I was doing chaine with themacross the floor.
And.
And that was not smart.
Like I should not have done thatbecause I got two.
Like probably halfway across thefloor.

(08:38):
And I was just like, whoa.
And they were all like, are youokay?
What just happened?
And I was like, it's just mycondition.
I can't.
Really exactly.
Do turns and I decided.
I did that.
It was a great idea.
And obviously it was not I haveto invest.
As an adult.
I don't think

Robyn (08:55):
I've been.
Able to do turns across thefloor.
Maybe.
Ever as an adult.
So you might not be that.
Off of.
Okay, hold on.

(09:30):
So I'm just.
I wanted you to know that, like,that might be a welcome to the
adult world.
Although, you know, Yes, you area little bit younger than I was
when I.
I realized that I couldn'treally do Shanae turns across
the floor as an adult.
However, However.
I digress.
So when you.
You like, as you've been doingthings with pots, I know that

(09:52):
there have been some things thatyou and I have had planned that
we've had to.
Like, just keep on in mind thatwe'll make this.
Plan, but we might have toreschedule or.
We may not go and there are acouple of.
Things that we didn't go to, butSo I know that there's a lot of
things that you've.
Been able to just kind of eitherpush through or make plans.
Like we had the concert.
And we did and whatever.

(10:13):
So what kind of like.
Maybe I'm jumping ahead of justthe idea of talking.
About grieving your old self,but.
Instead of going to yourpersonal let's.
Let's just talk about what it'slike, like, so you get a
diagnosis, right?
And you're like, Okay.
I have pots, which I feel likewe've talked about this before
in your day.
In the last episode.
It was like, it's kind of arelief when you get a diagnosis.

(10:35):
Cause now it's like, I have aname for what I've been going
through.
Yeah.
I'm not just the crazy.
The girl with anxiety.
Yeah.
So you get, once you getthrough.
That.
Okay.
I have a name for this, which iskind of a relief.
What's.
What's the next emotion, likehow, what happens next?
Like what's the.
The phase between that, and thenwhere we're talking about today.

Zoe (10:56):
Well, it's a lot like.
In the beginning, it's a lot ofanger.
Because if you're in a similarsituation to what I was, I was
dealing with.
Symptoms for years and I hadnever had a diagnosis.
So.
Once I finally got that.
It was like a relief as well asa lot of anger, because why.
Why didn't it.
Somebody find this before I haveevery single symptom I have

(11:16):
been.
Able to find about pots and noone has.
What to figure that out yet?
Yeah.
Like what took so long?
Why didn't this happen earlier?
But then there's a lot of like alot of.
Research that I did.
So I started to understandwhat's going on and.
And then you kind of get to lookat it from a different point of
view.

(11:37):
And you start to figure out whatthings are going to help, what
things might help.
What you can try.
How you can change your life andchange.
Your.
Maybe.
Routine or.
Your lifestyle to accommodateyour symptoms and your condition
better.
And then it starts to geteasier.
It's not.

(11:58):
Walk in the park, right?
Any means it's still going tobe.
The challenge pretty much everyday to manage your symptoms and
push.
Push through and have energy andeverything else.
But.
The more you do it, the easierit gets and the more you deal
with your symptoms.
Comes the.
Easier.
They seem to be.
Right.

Robyn (12:17):
Well, and I feel like that you kind of, because it
took such a long time for youto.
To have a diagnosis.
I feel like that you kind of hadalready made some.
Some of the adjustments that youwere gonna probably have to make
anyways, just.
Just organically because youneeded to for your.
Our own safety.
And your own.
Comfort level.
And just the fact that youcouldn't.

(12:37):
Continue to do the things thatyou were doing.
Yeah.
But you.
You get to that spot where it'slike, okay, now I like, did you
have a moment where.
You will like.
Oh, my gosh, I'm never going to.
Whatever again, and feel likeyou lost.
Last part of yourself.

Zoe (12:55):
Not.
I really like.
The biggest thing for me isdance.
And like, You know, forbasically my whole life dance
was like, Everything.
But it's not like I can go.
Go.
Dance the same way I couldanyways, like there's no.
Competitions or not that I knowof, at least no competition.

(13:17):
for adults or like, Classes orcompany.
Companies or anything like that,like I would have to create
something of.
Of that nature.
Yeah.
They're just making it happen.

Robyn (13:27):
They're not here anymore.
Right?
Yeah, you could go to LA or NewYork or whatever, right.

Zoe (13:33):
But one, I can't dance to the level that.
I would need to, to be in thatplace.
And I don't.
I want to, it really wasn'tyour, your.
I was never really in it to do.
Do something with it.
It was adult doing it because Iwanted to.
And that's all I would want todo anyways.
Yeah.

Robyn (13:52):
Well, and I think sometimes.
People get these diagnosis isdiagnoses.
Diagnosis, something like that.
And they.
They do have that moment whereit's like, oh my gosh, my life
is going to change.
And partly.
And this is my life coach in me.
That's starting to come out andabout what I'm about to.
Is that.
Who you are or what you do.

(14:13):
Doesn't have to define you, butwe use those things as.
A definition, like.
So you've always been.
Been Zoe.
Sometimes people are, you know,Zoe the dancer.
Or Zoe the whatever, and like,as a mom, Mom.
I'm like I'm Robyn, but I'm awife and a mom and a teacher.

(14:34):
Teacher.
Regardless of what you do.
But sometimes people do havethose, like.
Moments where they have to like,have to identify.
With something.
Did you go through a process?
Did you feel yourself?
Going through a process of likeredefining who you were.
We're or do you feel.
Again, that may happen.

(14:54):
Yeah.

Zoe (14:55):
Like you said, I haven't had my diagnosis for awhile and.
I'm still getting a lot of thetesting done to figure out
really everything.
Everything that's wrong and whatall we can do and different,
like specific.
and everything else like that.
So I honestly feel like I'm.
I'm still trying to figure outwho I am like who's Zoe.
The Potsy is instead of whoseZoe is right.

(15:17):
So.
And that's not saying that Idon't know who I am.
Like I.
I still am myself.
There's nothing that hascompletely.
Changed with me.
I just have this diagnosis andthe symptoms.
That I now have to carry alongto.

Robyn (15:32):
Well, and as.
A person like you still are.
I don't want to, I don't wantyou to get mad at me and do the
oh, ma'am thing.
With me, but you still arepretty young.
Yeah, so.
So there's a lot of changes thathappen in your life during.
During the time that you weregoing through pots, like.

(15:53):
Yeah.
If we look at like the concur.
Concussions that you had the preconcussion and after concussion,
and then there was.
COVID and then, so then there'spre COVID and after COVID.
And at the.
The same time.
It was pre high school duringhigh school.
After high school.
And then whatever.
So you you've been going througha lot.
A lot of stages of change.
Yeah.

(16:13):
And in our lives, when we go.
Through those changes,especially one of the biggest is
leaving high school.
And whatever the next step isgoing to college, becoming an
adult, getting.
A job.
That's a big change thateverybody goes through and it's
so.
So big that like I'm 45.
I have two adult children.
I've been through the.
Like I've gone through all thestages.

(16:34):
I left high school.
I got married.
I became a wife.
I became pregnant and then Ibecame.
Mom, and then I was a mom ofsmall children and a small of
like middle-aged children.
And then I was a mom ofteenagers.
And then now I'm on a mom andhave a note, an adult.
And I went through multiplecareer changes.
So all of those stages.
Is there, are there some levelsof grief in those stages?

(16:57):
And it's even.
Normal person's life.
And then you add a chronicillness into.
When you get diagnosed, right.
When you're going through someof the.
The biggest changes of your.
It's like, that's a.
A lot to deal with.

Zoe (17:10):
And in a lot of people's situations, especially.
With pots.
This is when diagnosis happensis right when you are.
Getting out of high school oryou're in high school or you're
a young adult or.
You're just trying to figurethings out or you're in college.
Like it is really hard.
To process all of that and belike, okay, not only do I have.
To continue figuring out who Iam in this world.

(17:33):
Continue on.
With whatever it is that I'mdoing right now.
I also have to manage all.
All of these different doctor'sappointments, I'm going to have
this diagnosis.
my symptoms, all the medicationsthat I might have to.
Take everything is just gettingto be too much and it's going to
be very over.
Overwhelming, which is one ofthe hardest parts of getting a

(17:53):
diagnosis is it's.
So.
So overwhelming, because a lotof the times that does mean
extra doctor's appointments.
And extra medications andeverything else.
But you're already dealing withmore.
So that's just a lot.
To process and to deal with, andthen.
Once your.
Sure.
Accepting of your illness andyour understanding.

(18:14):
Of the fact that you have to domore.
You're already in.
The position to continue livingwith it.
Like you're not shocked by it.
At anymore, you're alreadyhandling everything.
You're managing.
Your symptoms, you're going toyour appointments.
But your.
You've lost a lot of your lifebecause you've been.

(18:35):
Dealing with symptoms and thenyou were shocked by it and you
were just going through.
The motions.
And it's hard to.
Get back into.
To things and get excited tostart doing things again, when
you first.
So long, we're just stuck,either breathing or being.
Disappointed or angry or sad.
And.

(18:55):
And you didn't get out there anddo anything.
You didn't continue on.
And find new hobbies that youcan do to accommodate your
symptoms.

Robyn (19:05):
But that's not to say that it's too late to do that.

Zoe (19:08):
Right.
Yeah.
And like, I was there too.
I was at the point where I wasjust.
Like I had nothing to do.
I didn't have any energy.
I was accepting of my pots, butI was just.
Completely empty.
There was nothing that I coulddo.
There's nothing that I had todo.
Do.
And I didn't know what to do.
So I was just kind.
Kind of stuck there trying tofigure it out and I'm still

(19:31):
trying to figure it out.
Cause it's hard.
Hard to find things thataccommodate your symptoms when
they are so sporadic.
Erratic and unpredictable.

Robyn (19:38):
Well, and I think sometimes just being an adult.
It's hard to find things.
That don't come naturally to youor not necessarily.
Naturally like when you're achild or even a teenager or.
Even a young adult in college.
There's things that.
Organically come into your life.
You go to college, you meet newstudy groups.
Groups, you start to study.

(19:58):
Somebody says, Hey, let's gocheck out this club or whatever.
And you start to build newhobbies and new things, or you
meet somebody that introduce.
Introduces you to a new sportAnd that that stuff seems.
Seems to happen naturally.
You are.
At your stage where you're like,I have.
I can't just go do what I'vealways done because that doesn't
work anymore.
For me.

(20:19):
And so it's like when you lookat too, like we've talked.
You talked in your notes aboutgrieving your old self and you
do have to kind of go through.
And let yourself go through thatprocess.
Yeah.
And our notes, what weshould've.
I've done is wrote down thestages of grief.
I'm going to try to remember howto recite them.
At stages of grief.
I just don't remember.
I, I do teach this.
And.
I think one of my classes.

(20:40):
So, but I usually have noteswith it, but.
The first stage of grief isdenial.
Yeah.
Which you just, and that'severybody.
Regardless of what it is, you'regrieving.
And sometimes you can grieve.
You can be grieving.
I mean, if you were a 20 yearold who doesn't have pots, You
can probably.
Be grieving your high school, Soyou're in denial that you're no
longer going to school anymore.
Or you're no longer.
Going to see those friends thatyou saw from the time you.

(21:01):
We were in kindergarten everysingle day or.
You're in denial because youfinally got a diagnosis and you
don't actually think that it's.
Real and you are.
No way I have this there.
No way.
And you're denying.
Saying it because every othertest has a negative and normal
and you're like, there's.
There's no way I don't havethis.
You're waiting for that one.
Normal.
Through answer.
Especially when it's diagnosislike pots, where it's not like

(21:23):
this is.
A positive test and it says it'sjust, it's kind of that
differential diagnosis.
So after denial is anger, whichyou already talked about, how
you got to.
Anger and a lot of, and somepeople, they say The stages of
grief are sequential and I call.
Kind of don't believe that.
I think that the stages ofgrief.
They are progressive and youprogress through those stages of

(21:46):
grief.
I think.
I think some people go throughthem in different orders.
And I think some people take a.
A lot longer to get in certainstages.
Some of them, it might just belike, you just.
Get through it.
And you'll your right toacceptance.
But so you're like denial andthen anger.
Anger.
And then I'm sure there, I thinkthere's something else, but then
eventually.
You get to acceptance.
Where you accept what your,whatever it.

(22:07):
It is whether you finally, nowyou accept that.
Okay.
I'm not in high school anymore.
And.
I'm going to be an adult and I'mgonna get married or I'm gonna
buy a house or I'm going tohave.
A job or And so you accept yourlife for.
Where.
It's at, and then you start to,then that's, that's when you can
start to get to the.
Thriving and the living that.
Fullness of life, but sometimes.
Times, I feel like that thereare certain things in our life.

(22:30):
That we either.
Either never fully accept orwe're constantly reliving.
Going back.
And sometimes that's like peoplewho lose their parents or
sometimes.
They have a severe deep losswhen they're super young.
Young or when it's justsomething that you had your
heart set on it and it doesn'thappen.
And sometimes you have thosemoments when you're standing or
watching a dance, maybe.

(22:51):
Maybe it's a hallmarkcommercial.
The summertime.
And you're like, oh, like I dothis all the time where I see
things.
I'm like, oh, I was always goingto do that.
With my kids and I never did.
Because we got too busy, causewe were always.
At a dance competition or abaseball tournament or whatever.
And so.
So I think that we go throughthose moments and sometimes that
comes back, like I lost.

(23:11):
Lost my dad when I was reallyon, I was 20 when my.
Dad passed away.
And some days there's justthings that hit.
Me and I'm like, or I'll smellsomething or I'll.
All touch somebody's hands.
That's really, really rough theway my dad's hands were.
And it kind of brings me backand.
Sometimes I get teary-eyed andsometimes I get emotional and I
have a lot.
Of emotions that come up duringhallmark commercials.

(23:33):
And it's not to say that Ihaven't.
I accepted that my dad's gone,but it's just that you always
kind of revisit.
Visit those moments.
And we can always sort of goback.
Before our diagnosis and go andsort of revisit those moments.
But we can also bring us back tothis moment of acceptance where
it's like, okay, this.
This is what I'm dealing withand I'm going to now learn what

(23:55):
it.
I can do to move forward.
maybe.
You will never be able to danceagain, which obviously you've
done some things to replace.
That be doing the teaching.
And being a coach in any sport Ihire.
I highly highly suggest forpeople who are former athletes,
people who.
You can't do it any longerbecause you can kind of.
You're on a different side.
Side of it.
And it's, you have so muchwisdom because you've been there

(24:15):
before.
But it helps you to kind of havethat bridge, that gap.
But if you haven't truly come tothat acceptance spot, And you're
still.
In a spot of anger or denial,you might not be.
Be able to truly.
Enjoy that next.
Next step, whatever it is.
So it's really important to workthrough that.

(24:36):
And sometimes that might.
I mean, you need counseling oryou might need some sort of
therapy to get.
You to the spot where you canreally, truly embrace and accept
where you're at right now.
Yeah.
But I think that that's reallyas really hard there's and
you'll.
Like you wrote triggers there's,you know, do you have things
that trigger you that.
That you get to the spot whereyou're like, Do you get.

(24:56):
Are you still sometimes.
Times or denial.
Do you go back and forth in anyof those stages?

Zoe (25:00):
Get angry.
Because of doctors.
I get angry because of doctorswho don't.
Care.
Because if you are.
Taking an oath.
To be a doctor.
And you are going through all ofthat school.
And you're doing everything itis that you have to do to be a
doctor just.
Just to have a license topractice medicine.

(25:21):
It's.
It's your job.
To do your job.
It's.
Is your job to look for adiagnosis.
It's your job to listen to thepatient.
It's your.
Our job.
To understand what they're goingthrough and.
Be considerate of what they'regoing through and actually put
an effort into doing.
Your job instead of justchecking the boxes of what you

(25:41):
have to.
Do and sending somebody home.
Right.
It's actually.
Looking for what could be wrongand listening to everything
that's going on.
And there's so many doctors outthere that don't do that and
they don't.
I don't understand.
They don't put an effort into itwhen they really need to.
You also want them to understandwhere you're coming from?
Like when you don't know whatyou're dealing with.

(26:02):
And you haven't.
I have a diagnosis.
Their job.
To treat each patient.
As an individual and not carry.
Carry over emotions or feelingsor.
Like anger or abruptness fromsomebody.
Somebody else.
The other patient, I thinkthat's where my sort of What's
the right word.

(26:23):
People, pleaser personality.
Comes into.
You just give everybody thebenefit of the doubt.
And they honestly don't deserveit.
I do.
I kind of do everybody.
Nobody gets a, usually mostpeople in my life get an out and
I'm like, don't be so.
Ruud, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then I tell stories aboutlike my husband and I.
I have a different, we, he gotreally, really angry at somebody

(26:44):
about.
A soda.
The other day and thedrive-thru.
And we were.
I was telling the story.
To my other friends.
And they were talking about it.
And then they were telling mestories about the soda.
And so.
So now, so, okay.
Now, now that we have thediagnosis.
We've grieved.
We've gone through the stagesnow we're at acceptance.
Yeah.
What are, do you have strategiesfor people of things?

(27:07):
That you do to help like move onand live in that moment.
Are you still working on thatyour own life?
Just.
Not thinking about the past,which is kind of like common
sense, NoDa.
Don't touch the big red button.
Easier said than done.
Exactly.
It's easier said than done.
But finding new interests can.
Help finding things that you cando to accommodate your symptoms.

(27:30):
Do you.
Have suggestions to go in theresince you are the Potsie.
Have you.
Coloring.
These things, things likecoloring or.
Painting.
But things like coloring.
Painting artwork, reading,writing things.
You can do in a seated or astationary position, something.

(27:51):
Something that's not superactive, going for walks has
really helped me.
Me.
Another thing though, is toenjoy the little things.
And celebrate your littlevictories.
Like if you have a followupwith.
Doctor and they don't findanything else.
That's wrong.
And there's.
There's no other new tests thatyou have to do.
That's a little victory.
So even if you got out of bedand you made it to the doctor's

(28:14):
appointment, Appointment.
That's a victory, even if youmade it through the whole day
without needing.
To take the extra pain medicine.
That's a victory.
The littlest things.
You can improve your mood.
And I've noticed that because Istarted doing.
Doing it.
By staying positive because ifyou stay.
Positive then you're going tothink positive and things are
going to be positive.

Robyn (28:35):
Do you do anything like actively in that, like
practicing.
And gratitude or anything likethat, or do you just really, I
just, you're just a mindset.
Chooser.
Yeah, I'm just conscious of it.

Zoe (28:46):
I just.
If I get into a situation whereI'm starting to think negative
about something, or I'm startingto be.
Be over irritable or anythinglike that, then I will focus on
the positive things.
Things about the situation.
Like if I am.
And a lot of pain at work.
I will focus on the fact thatthat means I get to sit down and
I don't have to move.
But it was as much, or I don'thave to move around as much if

(29:07):
I.
I have a headache.
Then I focus on the fact that.
I can think slower and I don'thave to overwork myself.
Self and think too much aboutthings.
So you take that moment.
And you're like, okay, well, Andthis moment, I'm just, what's
the good that's.
Coming out of this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm thankful that I don't haveto.

(29:28):
Right.
Whatever.
Yeah.
Right.
I'm thankful that I can.
What's the eye of the storm.
And the situation.
Yeah.
That's good.
So But yeah.
Wrap things up.
Grieving.
Your old self is hard and it'ssomething that you kind of
always have to deal with whenyou have.
Chronic illness, but there areways that it gets better.
And there are things you can doto kind of help it.

(29:50):
And.
It's not the end of the world.
If you are still you, even with.
With your diagnosis, even withall of your symptoms.
You just have to.
To find this different versionof you that accommodates those
symptoms and that diagnose.
Gnosis and even if you have totake the pain medicine at the
end of the day, you can.
I still find something.
To be proud of you proud of.

(30:10):
In that moment.
I don't.
Well with pain.
But as a person I do.
I know you did.
Well, But Sometimes you can justlike give yourself a little bit
of grace.
Yeah.
You know, you don't have to havea victory every day.
And like, just getting throughthe day.
Sometimes is that victory?
Exactly letting yourself.

(30:31):
Enjoy the fact that laying downin a dark room and not moving
feels good.
Let yourself enjoy that feelingof feeling good.
Yeah.
So, and then, okay.
And that's okay.
Good job.
Yep.
Good job getting through.
Here.
Stuff and keeping going, like Iwas so proud of you when I.
When you started teaching, justcause I'm like, well, she's can
have that little piece of herback.
Yeah.

(30:51):
Not the same way as it used tobe.
Right.
Yeah, it's still.
Something that you can still.
Own and do, and yeah.
Inspire others too.
It's nice.
All right.
All right.
Thanks for coming in.
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(31:11):
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