Quiett Mom Talks: Mental Health

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Good evening.

(00:01):
Welcome to Quiett Mom Talks.
I'm Zoe.
I'm Robyn.
And we are here tonight to talkabout today's topic, which is
mental health.
I said that so cheery.
You did say that very cheery.
It was, it is what it is.
Okay, what is mental health?
I'm going to have Zoe take alittle, I'm going to have you

(00:23):
intro, like you could do thedefinition.
So, mental health is kind of abig thing in today's world.
We've had a lot of currentevents happen, lots of things
have changed within the lastnumber of years.
So, The big picture of mentalhealth is your emotional,
social, and psychological wellbeing.

(00:45):
Those things being management ofemotions, quality of your social
life, your friendships, yourfamily, your activities,
everything like that.
And your psychological aspectbeing cognitive and coping
mechanisms, things that help youprocess and go through life.
Yeah, so in We have like fourdimensions of health, physical,

(01:08):
intellectual, emotional, andsocial.
So mental health kind of coversthree of those four.
And a lot of people forget thatmental health covers that
intellectual part that itsometimes.
We give the emotional part, it'sdue, but we don't always give
the intellectual part.
Your mental health does affectyour thought process, your

(01:32):
ability to problem solve andcommunicate and interact with
your friends, family, and evenyour own job, your work and your
job.
So why?
It's important.
Is mental health important?
Well, because it affects so manyaspects of your life, aspects of
your life, right?
And then you have, there aresome physical aspects that

(01:54):
mental health touches on becausesome of the problems that come
up with mental health stress andother things are physical
things.
Physical symptoms.
Physical symptoms.
It can be anything from likethat one spot that gets sore
every month during payroll orThe headache that you get every

(02:16):
Monday morning.
On the Monday mornings and it'snot because you went out Sunday
night and, but then it's also,it can affect your immune
system.
It can affect how you sleep,which then can affect how
everything in your bodyfunctions.
But there is, a neurotransmitterthat your brain works on
neurotransmissions, which we'renot going to go into that, but

(02:38):
there's one that lives in yourdigestive tract that affects
your digestive issues and thingslike that.
So those The neurotransmitter iscontrol of like emotions and
mood and that type of thing.
Yes, yes.
Not necessarily a digestiveneurotransmitter.
Yeah.
It's an emotional and it's the,I forget which one it is, I want

(02:59):
to say serotonin, but I could bewrong.
It doesn't really matter.
I don't think it's serotonin.
It doesn't really matter.
However, it lives and it is, hasbeen found in the gut.
So a lot of times we have the,we talk about like that gut
feeling or We get digestiveissues when we have mental
health stress.
Like we get that.

(03:20):
I don't know if this is just ame thing or if this is actual
related, like people get likeconstipation and diarrhea and.
Actual IBS type symptoms fromjust nervousness.
Right.
And I'm sure everyone can relateto that.
At some point, you get thebutterflies in your stomach.
And that's not only just whenyou're nervous about something.
It can be if you're excited, orif you're enjoying what you're

(03:43):
doing, or if you're Just gotgiven a compliment and you're
like, oh that makes me feel sogood.
You know, it's that feeling thatBrings you up or pulls you down,
right?
It's not always a bad thing andit's not always a good thing But
it's always there because it issuch a broad spectrum and it
affects emotions, interactions,activities, energy, mood.

(04:08):
There's so many different thingsunder the umbrella of mental
health that people overlook soquickly because they go straight
to mental health issues.
Illnesses, right?
People hear the word mentalhealth and they actually think
mental illness.
Yes mental health, right?
Everyone has mental health.
Everyone can do things toimprove their mental health or

(04:29):
to manage their mental healthand your mental health can be a
it is a Objective term.
Yes mental health is just thatmental health Do you have
positive or good mental healthor are you in a state of bad
mental health?
so when we talk about ourhealth, somebody's health,
they're either they're either ingood health or bad health.

(04:50):
Or somewhere in between.
Right.
But mental health is not alwaysmental illness.
Mm hmm.
There's, we use the term mentalwellness a lot to change that
aspect.
In your, in your field.
In my world.
I guess maybe not everybody usesit as much, but but anyways, so
it's important to manage yourmental health.

(05:10):
So that you can, get throughlife.
Like, it's important to be ableto have, People say a lot they
take mental Well, I guess,probably not a lot.
But, personally, I have takenmental health days.
And I know other people who havetaken mental health days.
And that can be because you areoverwhelmed, or you're dealing
with something emotionally, oryou're uncomfortable in a social

(05:33):
situation, or you just need abreak from life to give yourself
and your brain a break todecompress from the world, to
build your perseverance, toincrease your mental capacity,
and to really just work out yourown mental health.
And give it that space it needsto be whatever it is, right?

(05:54):
we all by now, I think we've allheard somebody say or use the
term, I need a mental healthbreak.
in education, we use the wordbrain break all the time, but
that's really what you're doingis you're giving the kids a
mental health break, a chancefor your, your brain to have a
break.
Basically your mental health isyour brain health.
It is what's going on.

(06:14):
And the reason why it affects.
All of the other dimensions ofyour health is because your
brain is what regulates alleverything mentions of your
health and really everythingthat you do in life and in
functioning in your body.
So part of why mental health isso important is because we as
humans have to learn how tomanage our own emotions.

(06:36):
And I feel a lot of times.
Adults, and especially youngadults, that might just be
because I am one, they don'tknow how to manage their
emotions.
They have an emotion, say it beanger, or irritation, or
anything, and they then turnaround and take it out on
somebody else, rather thanturning into themself and

(07:00):
dealing with that emotion andprocessing that emotionally.
with their mental health skillsthat they have to think, Okay,
am I really needing to be thisirritated or this upset about
something?
What can I do to make myselffeel better about it?
And how can I handle thissituation in a positive manner
rather than going around andmaking everybody else feel just

(07:21):
the way that I'm feeling rightnow?
Right, and so that's part, that,that process is called building
resilience.
It's not just younger adults.
I think that one of the reasonswhy young adults struggle so
much with this is partly becausethey were raised by people from

(07:41):
my generation, which People inmy generation and a little bit
older than me, just shuteverything in, didn't we weren't
mental health was not a termback then.
I remember when the word stresswas created and I'm not saying
that nobody ever used the termstress, right?
But the reason why I know thisis because I remember being a

(08:04):
teenager, maybe junior high ageteenager.
I remember my dad sayingsomething to the effect of
everybody has stress nowadays.
Oh my gosh, that's just flippinglife.
Like nobody, everybody basicallyjust deal with it.
Yeah.
Like deal with it.
Do your job, finish what youneed to do and get on with life,
get on with life.

(08:25):
And we were kind of like thatgrow up and get over it mindset.
Exactly.
And we weren't taught how tomanage our health, our mental
health.
And I have people that I grew upwith.
Or graduated high school with.
I'm still have a lot of friendsfrom high school that I interact
with.
And a lot of those people stilldon't really truly understand

(08:48):
and grasp the concept of takingcare of their mental health and
emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is whereyou understand your emotions and
that you might be emotional andyou don't take it out on someone
else, right?
I feel like there's a lot ofpeople who struggle with that.
And honestly, all of us do atsome point.
We all have our moments.
Everyone can say, Oh yeah, Ishouldn't have said that.

(09:10):
Or I probably could have donethat better.
Or I should have handled thissituation like this instead of
doing that.
And it's completely normal.
Focusing on mental health andtaking that time for yourself
and doing the things that areimportant to keep a positive and
healthy mental health It's notalways going to happen.

(09:30):
You're not going to be 100percent good at managing your
mental health.
You're not going to make thecorrect decision about your
emotions in every singlesituation.
Right.
Life sometimes gets the best ofus.
Emotions sometimes get the bestof us.
And there's not anything we cando about that except for go back
and apologize and be like, Hey,I know that I shouldn't have

(09:50):
done this and I am really sorrythat I did something to hurt you
or if that made you feel acertain way.
That was not my intention.
And honestly, that one littlesentence that you say to
somebody can really make such abig difference.
I have been at work multipletimes before where patients have
either been in pain because theyare there to relieve their pain,

(10:12):
or they are just having a badday, and they come up to me and
they're kind of having like alittle bit of an attitude or
being a little bit overdemanding or something, And then
they'll go back for theirappointment, they'll come back
out, and they'll say to me,they'll be like, Hey, I'm really
sorry for how I was acting toyou.
I should not have done that,because I'm just having a bad
day, and I wasn't feeling well,and now I kinda had a second to

(10:34):
think about it, and I'm, I'mreally sorry about how I was
acting.
It is really important toUnderstand that that stuff
happens.
We all react and act in ways forlots of different reasons.
Our brains have basically likethree different levels of
processing.

(10:55):
The bottom level is yoursurvival mode.
Like that's what keeps youbreathing and your body
functioning.
The things that need to work,work.
The things that don't need towork can take a rest.
Like that's when you're in this.
survival mode.
Your digestion isn't workingvery good because it's sending
all of your energy to your handsand legs so that you can run
away from the lion that's goingto chase you, right?

(11:16):
That's what the fight or flightmode is.
Then, then you have, that's thesurvival mode.
Then you have the emotionalmode, which is somewhat.
It's one step up, but you stilldon't really process executive
functioning really well.
Yeah.
So when you're in that emotionallevel, you might be more apt to
take things personally or getoffended or be offensive when

(11:40):
you're talking rather than beingable to actually have a
productive conversation.
And then the next part of that.
The next level in your brain isyour executive functioning
level.
That's where your cortex isworking.
That's where all of yourexecutive functions happen.
And that's executive functions,meaning executive function.

(12:01):
That's when you can have thosemeaningful conversations.
You can listen and understand.
You can able to process and gothrough everything that is
happening.
You process what time in yourexecutive functioning part of
your brain.
That's where your timemanagement skills are and where
you remember to take yourmedications and all the things
that happen in a normal day.

(12:21):
All of the important things.
If you're in that emotionalstate or survival state, most
like in the survival state, likeI was in this conference one day
it was about early childhoodeducation and they were showing
us pictures of these kids andThey were like little kids like
two and under that were like wehad to just by the picture
decide like what state they wereIn whether they were in

(12:42):
executive emotional or survival.
Sometimes survival and emotionalis hard to tell the part, tell a
difference.
But emotional is when you'reemotional.
It's when you have things thatare they are happening.
Like maybe you had a death inthe family or maybe you had to
put your put your dog down or,you know, so you might not be.

(13:02):
There's nothing bad happening.
You're not, and you don'tconsider yourself in a bad
mental state.
You just, you're not in danger.
You're just, you're not indanger.
You're not, yeah, you're not infight or flight per se, but
you're dealing with a lot offeelings.
That's when you're emotional.
Things can set you off.
You can take things personal.
But that's when like the little,you know, a little girl will cry
because she dropped her.

(13:23):
Like the ice cream fell off herice cream cone and she's crying.
A child who might be dealingwith some bad stuff at home, if
there's abuse in the family orsomething like that, the ice
cream falls out.
She's in full blown survivalmode.
She's pissed off.
She's punching her dad.
She's just angry.
And each different phase or eachdifferent stage can look

(13:44):
different for everybodydepending on your history or
depending on your level of yourmental health or your emotional
maturity.
Yeah.
That is going to change whatstage you are in.
So for me, as a 20 year old witha chronic illness, with a full
time job, with a family, aboyfriend, dogs, if I get a
phone call that somebody was ina car accident, I might drop

(14:07):
myself down to survival mode,because not only am I dealing
with somebody I love or careabout being in a car accident,
I'm also dealing with a chronicillness and symptoms that I have
every day, and managing myhousehold and my dogs and my
boyfriend, and communicatingeverything with all of these
different people, and deciding,Do I need to leave my job?

(14:29):
Is this something I can pushthrough?
Or do I need to stop everythingand go run to the scene?
That's something that's going tobe a little bit easier for
somebody who's maybe a stay athome wife or doesn't have the
type of responsibilities or hasmore financial freedom or is in
a different level of their lifewhere they don't have as many
responsibilities or they don'thave as many stressors put up

(14:53):
directly against them.
They're going to be able tohandle that a little better and
that might just be an emotionalstage for them.
Right.
And when people, when you havecertain things happening, and
this is the part, part oflearning this and me saying
these things, and I talk to thisto my students about these
things, is that the person infront of you in the grocery
store, you have no idea wherethey're at.

(15:15):
They may have just got thatphone call that their, their
loved one was in a car accidentand they're at the grocery store
because they're trying to makedinner for the family of the
person who was.
Right.
I've gotten a car accident onthe way home and I'm going to
get emotional.
You never know what anybody isgoing other people's stories
are.
And so sometimes if you are in astate where you're in your good

(15:37):
executive functioning state, usethat and don't take offense to
other people and just understandthey must have had any, maybe
they had an emotional day.
Maybe they just lost their job.
Give people the benefit of thedoubt.
When you have that ability, whenyou are In an executive
functioning state, when you areliving your normal life, you're
not overwhelmed, you're able Ingood mental wellness.

(16:00):
When you are in good mentalwellness and you have a positive
mental health, you have allpossibilities to be kind to
everyone else.
And to treat everyone the waythat you would want to be
treated if you were having a badday.
You never know if somebody ishaving a bad day, so you should
always assume that they are.
Not necessarily saying, hey,everyone's probably feeling like

(16:22):
crap right now.
But if you treat somebody likethey are having a hard time,
you're gonna be nicer to them.
Maybe that person was having afine day and they just got like
a compliment, or they had helpfrom someone.
Now they're gonna be like, oh,I'm in a good mood now.
Maybe they'll walk down theroad, see somebody who needs
help with something and chooseto help that person because they

(16:44):
just had a positive impact withsomebody else.
It's the whole like, smiles arecontagious.
Right?
Good kindness.
Good acts are contagious.
Spread kindness.
Yes.
It's always good to have.
That be that positive influencewhen you can't, you can't always
be that.
And we know that that's notalways the best.
It's not always easy.
Some people it's easier thanothers.

(17:04):
I am a silver lining personalmost annoyingly, and I know
that.
But I am like, yeah, constantlylooking for the good things.
I try not to be inappropriatewith my positivity because I
know sometimes you can be like,there's not, sometimes it's just
not appropriate.
Sometimes you just have to say,I'm sorry.
Yes.
And it's not appropriate to say,well, this is the good part

(17:26):
about that because nobody cares.
Like, well, your dog just died.
Oh, well, at least you could goget a new dog now.
Like yeah.
Don't say that to somebody.
Now you don't have to worryabout somebody watching your dog
when you go out to a concert.
Yeah, no.
Don't say that to somebody.
Which my, one of my best friendsjust lost their dog and she said
that, but I didn't say it toher.
But along with like the spreadkindness or be positive, that

(17:49):
also helps you with your like,Direct relationships with your
friends or your family or yourspouse or your partner or anyone
in your life Having that outlookof I don't know what they're
going through Right once you areconnected with someone and you
maybe have that conversation ofhey, how was your day today?
Then they are like, okay Ugh, Ihad such a hard day.

(18:13):
You can be like, oh, I'm sorry,what happened?
And then they can have thefreedom to tell you and lay that
out on the table for you to thenrespond to.
And if you do end up respondingwith toxic positivity or
anything along those lines,that's not necessarily the worst
thing.

(18:33):
But you, you put yourself in theposition to be supportive of
their bad day.
You're not in the position totell them, well, at least this
didn't happen.
Yes.
That's not what you're there forin that moment.
Exactly.
Well, and when someone is havingor has had a bad day and they

(18:53):
trust you enough to tell youabout that bad day, that is.
Huge.
There are some people that havea lot of bad days.
There are some people that have,especially people with chronic
illnesses, there are people thathave chronic illnesses, which
this is why we started this talkor this podcast.

(19:14):
But there are people who live inbad situations.
There are people who came fromBad traumatic situations growing
up.
So the little minor things tothat person who's dealt with
trauma from the time that theywere born because they're maybe
they had an abusive alcoholicfamily member that they've dealt
with their whole life.
So they don't have tolerance.

(19:35):
like you might have because youhad a loving family growing up.
As soon as something goes badwith people who have a history
of bad things happening, it'sgoing to trigger it.
Sometimes it's like it startsthis domino effect.
And then when that person trustsyou to tell, You because they
tell you because they think thatyou really truly care and that's

(19:56):
why you're asking and if youmeet them back with some more of
that toxicity that they grew upwith or that they may have
expected from their abusivemother, not from you, then it
gets them like, it just throwssuch a huge wrench in the whole
situation and it makes thatperson feel unsafe.
It makes that person feelunloved and it makes you as much

(20:19):
as you may think, because youmight not know any better, but
you might think that you'rehelping them because you're
trying to redirect them intobeing better.
Well, if you did thisdifferently, then that wouldn't
have happened.
Or maybe you should have spentmore time getting ready for your
day.
Maybe you shouldn't have beenlate.
Or I don't know.
All of those things are nothelpful for that person, even
though your intention is to behelpful.

(20:39):
And I just want you to bebetter.
It's not getting them better.
It's getting, it's just makingthem, it's like rubbing their
nose and their problem.
If you can't say anything nice.
Don't say anything at all.
It's okay.
Like, honestly, like if a persontells you this and they're
venting and you don't haveanything either positive or

(21:01):
supportive to say, the mostsupportive and positive thing
you can say is nothing.
Just say, I'm sorry, or saynothing and let them talk.
You don't have to.
That person, I'm pretty surethat person isn't going to want
to hear you complain or fixtheir problem or tell them what
they should have done instead.
They're going to want to havethat support.

(21:22):
So it's important in your, toprotect your relationships.
If you don't have to giveadvice, yes, that is not what
that person is sharing.
Most of the time, if somebody issharing.
a bad day, they're not askingfor your advice.
They're just telling you, thisis what happened.
This is why my day was bad.

(21:43):
I'm just not in the best moodright now.
That's all I need you to know.
I'm not saying this like the dayis done.
You can't change anything thathappened.
Try not to make that person tellyou what they need from you
because they probably don'tknow.
So if you don't know what tosay, just say, That sounds like
it was a rough day.
And if you offer, like, ifyou're going to offer, is there
anything I can do?

(22:04):
That's completely fine becausethat leaves the choice up to
them if there's something thatyou can do to help them.
But you need to be willing toaccept the answer yes, either
no, there's nothing you can do.
Right.
Or no.
B, I don't know.
I don't know what I need fromhelp.
I just know today sucked and Idon't want to do it anymore.
And maybe you give them theremote control and let them pick

(22:26):
what you watch on TV.
So but those are things that,ways that you can manage and
help each other out.
Yes.
And that's also just It showswhy mental health is so
important for everyone becauseon either side of that
circumstance, whether you're theone with the bad day or the one
hearing about someone's bad day,having a good mental health and

(22:47):
mental wellness in thatconversation is going to make
both parties completely, notnecessarily completely
compatible, but it's going tomake that experience.
Relationship.
and that relationship strongerand easier.
It builds trust.
It builds friendship.
Yes.
It really helps.
Sometimes, like, there's a memethat's Pooh, Winnie the Pooh and
Piglet.

(23:07):
And Piglet says, Hey, Pooh,what's going on?
And Pooh says, I don't rememberwho's talking to who, actually,
but the story goes Pooh, I'mgoing to say that it was Pooh
who was having a bad day.
And Piglet says, Do you want totalk about it?
And Pooh says no.
And Piglet just sits up on thestoop next to him and he goes,
and he goes, what are you doing?
And he goes, nothing.

(23:27):
I'm not, I don't know.
I'm just going to sit with youand be with you since you're
having a bad day.
So just sometimes just sittingand being with that person and
that can help them deal.
It can help build theirresistance and it can build your
relationship together.
Yes.
So there are lots of things thatcan influence your ability.
to help out.
That kind of takes us into ournext thing of what influences

(23:51):
mental health.
We kind of touched a little bitabout life and experiences and
environmental aspects, but Evenmore so, the biological side of
mental health can have a muchbigger impact sometimes.
That kind of goes along with thenature versus nurture argument.
If anyone knows anything aboutthat, it's whether being brought

(24:13):
up by your biologi or, by yourparents.
Whether your biology and yourgenes have a stronger impact
than the environment and theupbringing of your childhood,
essentially.
Like, can you teach somethingout of some person Right.
Nature is what you were bornwith, with your genes.
Nurture is what you bring upwith.
Nurture is the environment thatyou are around.

(24:34):
And sometimes that nature, thosethings kind of have a hazy line,
especially as we can becomeadults.
But when you have the biologyof.
When you have the history inyour family of a mental illness
or some sort of incapacity ofunderstanding mental health or

(24:56):
if you were either left as achild and you have no Traumatic
childhood.
Right, yeah, and that is more soabout experiences and
environmental things but that'sstill part of your process.
Biology.
That is something thatphysically happened because of
who you are.
And it changes your brain.
It does.
And the first, like, I don'tremember how long exactly it is,

(25:19):
but the first, like, two weeksof an infant's life are
sometimes the most important andthe most impactful.
Even though you have norecollection of that when you're
older, you still automaticallyare going to revert to what you
first experienced when you wereborn.
Building trust and knowing thatsomebody's there when you cry

(25:40):
and things like that, thathappens within the first, like,
12 weeks of your life.
Yeah.
There's a really great book thattalks about this called What
Happened to You, and I'm onlyabout halfway through it, but
it's really interesting about,Those really formative times in
your life that can change yourwhole life trajectory.
Yeah, the like the biologicalaspect kind of like we said with

(26:01):
like having your parents leaveyou.
It's not all about your genes.
It's also about your physicalhealth and your brain chemistry
and the way that you processthings because of who you are
and because of your biology andThat's not necessarily just your
genetics and your DNA.
Exactly.
That also has to do with yourbody type and your different

(26:24):
abilities and things that youhave that were passed down from
your parents.
Also, the way you treatyourself.
What you eat, what you consume,if you use substances or
medication.
Your personality.
There's so many things thataffect you.
And then, but the good partabout, All of those things, all

(26:45):
of those things, some things youare limited with the way your
brain chemistry is, your genesand things like that.
And sometimes you just have anillness or something physically
wrong with you that is actuallyphysically wrong with you.
Like you have a broken bone orsomething, but.
All of the, all of the researchshows that you can rewire those
spots in your brain to bepositive.

(27:07):
You can come out of that.
People have had some really,really traumatic events in their
lives and they've come out of itor they're dealing with really,
really traumatic events in theirlife with positive outlooks.
And injuries and things likethat, that people have that they
just deal with.
It's with on a kind of mindsetbasis, you, you can like,

(27:29):
there's no denying.
Sometimes there are physicalthings that affect your mental
health and your brain, butthere's also sometimes that you
can just choose and you have amindset to be a nice person and
to learn how to build thatresiliency.
And the strength and buildrelationships and build a

(27:50):
support system around you bygetting resources that you need,
like uh, counselors andmedications and doctors and
diagnosis and figuring outwhat's going on.
But it is definitely somethingthat You can overcome without,
nothing is a death sentence, isbasically what I'm saying.

(28:12):
Except a death sentence.
Except a death sentence.
Don't kill people.
Just don't do that.
That's not at all what I wassaying.
I was talking like terminalillness.
Oh, oh yeah.
Ha! You know what I heard todayabout terminal illness?
There are some people that haveterminal and there are some
people who have terminalillnesses that deal with them in
a really positive way and theyhave a really great outlook on

(28:33):
life and their mental health isin a really great state.
You don't have to have like thislongevity and this great, I
mean, it's, you don't have tohave a perfect life to have
positive mental health and to behappy.
My Theory of what you tellyourself becomes true is so
real.
And there was like, I don'tremember when it was, but I

(28:55):
think it was during COVID.
There was this whole phase ofmanifestation and everyone
wanting to be like, affirmationsand stuff like that, but it
really does help.
Like if you stand in a mirrorand you look at yourself and
you're like, I'm strong, I'mbrave, I'm powerful.
And you just list off all thesethings.
Eventually you're going to sitthere and you're like, I'm

(29:16):
powerful.
I'm strong.
I am brave because youeventually believe you.
Yeah.
If you say something or even ifyou think something, you're
going to want to make that true.
Because.
Our brains or whatever are likehardwired to want to be right.
Yes.
So we're gonna want to proveourselves right.

(29:38):
We don't want to prove ourselfwrong.
So we don't want to sit thereand be like, I really hope I
have a good day today.
You want to wake up in themorning and be like, I'm gonna
make today a good day.
Yes.
And you do that and whetheryou're thrown a I don't know,
fire at your office, or a carrear ends you.
You can still have a good day,and it doesn't necessarily have

(30:03):
to be a perfect day.
Not everything has to go right,but if you have that positive
mindset, and you enjoy thelittle things.
I, with chronic illness, andwith all of my symptoms that I
deal with, I've really, the lastprobably six months or so, have
started to improve.
focus on the positive andcelebrate little victories.

(30:25):
So if I, I've gotten better atit with the new year, but when I
would get up in the morning andI would have all of these
things, I'm like, I want to doall of this today.
But I wouldn't put my mind toactually doing it.
I would just say, this is what Iwant to do today.
I never planned it out.
Sometimes just having it allwritten out or writing out what

(30:47):
it is you want to accomplish orthe things that you want to
improve on on yourself that canhelp you have a better
determination to get that done.
And that is something that.
Influences your mental healthbecause then you're planning for
things.
That's your psychological andyour cognitive aspect of it.
You're Emotionally excited aboutit because you are and it's

(31:08):
dopamine.
Yes, and you're Enjoying thefact that you're gonna get these
things done and then your socialaspect of it the planning aspect
of it Planning out your dayimproves your social life
because then you can go on andto help plan things with other
people and have otherinteractions with them without
being, yeah, without being like,Oh, I want to do this with this

(31:31):
person and then tell them that'swhat you want to do.
And it never gets on thecalendar.
And I'm sure most adults canrelate to this.
If you don't schedule somethingto do with somebody on a certain
day, at a certain time, it won'thappen.
My friends, I drive them crazybecause I'm like, let's put that
on the calendar.
My husband, it drives him crazy.
We're not doing that.
I'm like, yes, we are.

(31:52):
Because if we don't there is no,like, there is no day of the
year that is titled someday.
Someday never happens.
My dad used to always say,tomorrow never comes, which I
used to, it was annoying.
Anyways, but my dad used to saytomorrow never comes, which is
true because it's nevertomorrow.
Tomorrow is always away.
Tomorrow is always somewhereelse.
Tomorrow is always a day away.

(32:13):
Tomorrow Tomorrow, you're onlythat's exactly why I said it.
So put that on your calendarlunch with your girlfriends.
I used to have which I didn't,we got away from it last year,
but it was like the lastWednesday of every month during
golf season.
It was the third Wednesday,whatever it was, it was during
golf season, we would go out todinner and it would be like,

(32:33):
sometimes there was seven of us.
Sometimes there was three of us.
Sometimes it was two of us.
But that happened once a month.
It was not that often.
It was not that exciting, but itwas something that we did and
making that happen.
And those things, it gives yousomething to look forward to the
next time.
Those social interactions, thosecreate the happy, good, feel

(32:54):
good feelings, which are theendorphins and oxytocin and
makes you feel connected andthings like that.
And that is what you really needto make your life good.
And my friend's mom is.
dying of cancer, and she'shaving a celebration of life
before she leaves us, which Ithink is amazing.
I didn't know the mom, so I'mnot going, but I just think that

(33:16):
is like the sweetest, most, andshe's, she has lung cancer.
I've always thought, like,that's terrible.
To have your funeral or whateverbe like the last things that
people say, not necessarily thelast, but like the important
things that people say aboutyou, like I loved this about
this person, they were amazingat this, like why are they not
there to hear that?
Right, so she has, she's hadlung cancer and It's just which

(33:40):
my dad went through treatmentwith lung cancer and it was
brutal like it was and so and itjust took a toll on her and
she's like she told her doctorsthat she didn't want any more
treatment to fight the cancer.
She just wants comfort care andso she invited everybody over to
an open house at her at theirhouse and which I think is just
so I don't know.
It might not even be that it'sprobably it's just.
for her mental health.

(34:00):
Absolutely.
Like, I'm sure that's just herway of, like, getting together
with everyone and enjoying it.
She wants to see everyone onelast time.
And I just think that that's thesweetest thing.
That's awesome.
I hope that in my life I get todo that at the end, because
that's what, how I want, I feellike.
You're so much of a socialperson, like if you, if you
don't have like a 3, 000 peopleparty before you die, that's

(34:21):
just going to be wrong.
If not, like at my funeral,there needs to be karaoke and
group singing and Dude, I've gotyour funeral covered.
Trust me.
There's no one that is going tobe crying unless they are
followed up by laughter.
Trust me on that one.
That's good.
And then football a Sunday.

(34:44):
Recap for today.
We talked about mental healthand mental wellness.
We talked about what it is, theemotional, social, and
psychological well being.
We talked about how it'simportant to build your
resilience, your perseverance,manage emotions, have healthy
relationships, increaseproductivity.
all different kinds of things,how it influences every aspect

(35:05):
of your life, including physicalhealth, and what influences your
mental health, including yourbiology, your experiences, your
upbringing, your environment,society, current events,
anything like that.
But on that note.
I hope that everyone enjoyedtoday's video.

(35:25):
Yes.
Thank you for listening.
Podcast, whatever this iscalled.
We might post it.
Thanks for listening and we willsee you if you are wherever you
are listening on this.
If you liked our, if you likedour stuff.
Yes.
Like, share, download, follow uson Instagram.
All of the, all of the thingsfollow us on Instagram, I will
get our Facebook page up andrunning.
I promised that at the end.

(35:46):
Actually, I promised that on ouryear end review episode that I
don't think I've published yet,but we will be getting a
Facebook up and running too.
And we hope we wish you anexecutive functioning day where
you are in your brain that youcan think and process things and
manage and communicate well.
Bye.
But if not, I hope that you havea little piglet that can come

(36:08):
and sit next to you when you'rehaving a rough day.
I hope that everybody remembers,send us a message whenever you
want to, tell us what you wantto hear.
We are planning to do our nextepisode, I believe, about mental
illnesses, kind of touching ondifferent things.
Different mental illnesses,anxiety, depression, PTSD, some

(36:29):
types of things like that.
If there's anything specific youwould like us to include, make
sure to send us a message.
I am on our Instagram at leastonce a day, and I will respond
whenever I get there.
And also, just as a reminder, weare not medical providers.
We are not diagnosed.
Disclaimer.
We are not claiming that we knowwe are experts in any of these
things.

(36:49):
We are not doctors or medicalpeople.
We never went to medical school.
We are not.
We, all of the things that welearned about mental health, we
learned from.
Well, I go to therapy, so Ilearned a lot of this from my
therapist.
So I mean.
I go to therapy too.
Hi Jenny, if you're here.
She's probably not.
But hi.
I teach.
I teach health in high school.
We're in the mental health unitright now.
And I read lots of books.

(37:09):
So.
Yes.
Anyways.
Have a good night everybody.
We are here for support.
To talk to and the motherdaughter do and so come find us
on any other, any of your on oursocial medias, all the
platforms.
We will see you next time.
Have a good night.