How to Know a Person

Feeling disconnected and unseen in today's fragmented world? David Brooks's acclaimed book, 'How to Know a Person,' offers a vital guide to overcoming this 'vast emotional, relational, and spiritual crisis'. This episode explores the art of seeing others deeply and being deeply seen by becoming an 'Illuminator'—someone who makes others feel valued, heard, and understood.

Brooks presents this as a learnable craft, teaching practical skills like being a 'loud listener', asking story-eliciting questions that prompt narratives, and perceiving the whole person beyond surface details. We discuss why this approach is practical, not naive, especially in an era of social media and division, and how fostering these genuine human connections is foundational for happiness, well-being, and a stronger society.

Join us to learn how to lead a mutual expedition towards understanding and make a difference in your relationships and the world around you.

References

Dickerson, J. (2023, October 15). David Brooks on his mission: To counter our nation's spiritual crisis. CBS News. (Source text provided without URL)

Infermuse. (2024, June 30). How to know a person. Infermuse. (Source text provided without URL)

Instaread. (2025). How to Know a Person by David Brooks - Instaread: Key Insights & Analysis. Instaread. (Source text provided without URL; date from copyright)

Jenkins, K. (2025, January 1). How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen. Friends Journal. (Source text provided without URL)

Jenn. (2023, October 24). How to Know a Person, a review by Jenn. The Book Review Crew. (Source text provided without URL)

Martino, G. (2024, December 5). HOW TO KNOW A PERSON: THE ART OF SEEING OTHERS DEEPLY AND BEING DEEPLY SEEN. QRCA Views. (Source text provided without URL)

Mental Branch. (2023, November 17). How to Know a Person by David Brooks - Review, Summary, Analysis & Facts. Mental Branch. (Source text provided without URL)

NatureNitaso. (n.d.). You guys got a book on how to read… people? [Online forum thread]. Reddit, r/intj. (Source text provided without date or URL)

Sinclair, T. (2024, October 30). Summary: How To Know a Person by David Brooks. Toby Sinclair. (Source text provided without URL)