Real Over Ideal

Not every therapist is the right fit, and that's OK.

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin explains how to tell if your therapist is not serving your needs anymore.

Vanessa discusses the the most common red flags in therapy, how to trust your instincts and what to do if you end the relationship. The power dynamics at play in therapeutic relationships is discussed. 

This episode describes how therapy is a service me...

Dear Listeners,

It's bonus episode time-- a gift of an early episode drop, from us to you, because we are so grateful that you are out there listening. 

It's amazing to know that this little but mighty podcast has been downloaded on every continent and in 268 cities so far!

We owe many thanks to you that our audience is growing.

Whether you've shared the podcast on your social media, with people in your daily life, or re...

This is a frank discussion about cognitive behavioral therapy from the host, Vanessa Gorelkin's perspective.

Vanessa discusses the importance of grounding techniques to help individuals stay present and regain their logical skills and how she feels cognitive behavioral therapy failed her many years ago, when she was new to mental health issues in her own life.

Vanessa addresses the challenges of using cognitive behavioral therap...

Summary

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin discusses the detrimental effects of toxic workplaces and provides practical tools for coping with difficult bosses and office cultures. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing toxic behaviors, setting boundaries, and prioritizing mental health. The episode also includes a listener question segment, where Vanessa offers strategies for navigating challenging ...

Bed Rotting and feeling stuck in your bed—unable to face the world, mentally, emotionally, or physically? 

This episode of Real Over Ideal is your literal step-by-step guide & antidote for bed rotting days -- when your brain says “nope.” 

Whether you're in trauma freeze mode, frozen by depression, burnout, or overwhelm, you’ll hear a soothing, practical walk-through for how to move just one step at a time. You’re not broken,...

Content warning: Episode addresses self-harm. 

Summary

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin delves into the complex topic of self-harm, exploring its various forms beyond the commonly recognized behaviors. 

She emphasizes the importance of understanding the underlying reasons for self-harming behaviors and introduces tools to help interrupt the cycle of shame and distress. The conversation highlights the need...

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, host Vanessa Gorelkin discusses the theme of bad decisions, coping, healing after mistakes and resilience. And she tells her all time favorite story about resilience after terrible trauma -- if you know her in real life, you probably have heard this story.

Vanessa tells about a career choice that turned out to be detrimental but ultimately led to valuable lessons and personal growth. (That's ...

In this conversation, Vanessa Gorelkin addresses common concerns about sleep, particularly the anxiety surrounding it. She emphasizes the importance of acceptance and self-care in achieving restful sleep, rather than obsessing over it. The discussion covers the impact of sleep debt on health, the phenomenon of revenge bedtime procrastination, and practical tips for fostering a healthier relationship with sleep.

Takeaways

**Bonus Episode**

In this bonus episode, Vanessa Gorelkin shares insights from her recent guest appearance and chat with Tracy Otsuka on her hit podcast, ADHD for Smart Ass Women. 

Vanessa shares some fun facts about the recording, including her experiences and the environment during the episode. Vanessa also provides practical tips for listeners on how to live authentically and overcome challenges in their lives.

Takeaways<...

Can ChatGpt replace your therapist?

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin explores the intersection of AI and mental health, particularly focusing on the capabilities and limitations of tools like ChatGPT in therapeutic contexts. 

She discusses the appeal of AI for individuals seeking mental health support, especially those who are neurodivergent or face barriers to traditional therapy. 

While acknowledging the potentia...

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, your host, Vanessa  Gorelkin explores the relationship between stress and physical symptoms, introducing the Internal Family Systems (IFS) approach to understanding our emotional and mental health.

She discusses how different parts of ourselves react to stress and how these reactions can manifest physically. Vanessa provides practical strategies for self-compassion and understanding our internal d...

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin talks about emotional and cultural implications of the ongoing Diddy trial, exploring how celebrity abuse cases affect our mental health and societal perceptions. 

She discusses the challenges of consuming media related to such sensitive topics and offers strategies for maintaining emotional well-being while staying informed. 

The conversation also touches on the complexities of se...

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin discusses the complexities of anger, emphasizing that it is not the emotion itself that is problematic, but rather how we respond to it. 

She shares personal anecdotes and practical tools for managing anger, particularly through the lens of occupational therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). 

The conversation explores the importance of emotional regulation, the impact...

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin delves into the intersection of horror stories and mental health, exploring how narratives in horror can serve as metaphors for trauma, dissociation, and recovery. 

Through examples from popular culture, such as Stephen King's works and Stranger Things, she discusses the psychological implications of these stories and offers practical strategies for managing overwhelming emot...

Your host, Vanessa Gorelkin, introduces Real Over Ideal and talks about her origin story. 

**And guess what: since we're being real, we remastered this episode after realizing the sound needed a bit of an update.

Now you will be able to hear Vanessa even better, as she discusses the challenges of health anxiety, normalizes the struggle so many people face to find their balance, and emphasizes the importance of acceptance and res...

Welcome to Real Over Ideal — the podcast for people with busy brains, big emotions, and zero interest in perfectionism.

In this trailer, meet your host, licensed therapist & real life human, Vanessa Gorelkin, as she introduces Real Over Ideal, the podcast that delivers practical strategies for emotional regulation, executive functioning, ADHD overwhelm, anxiety, and everyday stress—without unnecessary jargon.

If you’re looking fo...