Breaking Free from Echoism and People Pleasing | Stop saying "You're fine"

ABOUT THE EPISODE

In this episode, Alveena unpacks the psychology of echoism, the tendency to shrink, stay quiet, and put others’ needs above your own.

She shares her experiences growing up between cultures, learning to make herself smaller to avoid judgment or conflict, and how that pattern showed up later in adult life. Through psychology, faith, and personal reflection, she explores how saying “I’m fine” when you’re not can slowly erase your voice and identity.

This episode is for anyone who struggles with people pleasing, setting boundaries, or finding their voice after years of silence.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Echoism is the opposite of narcissism; it’s when you erase your own needs to avoid being a burden.
  
  
• Shrinking yourself to keep the peace isn’t humility, it’s self abandonment.
  
  
• Our worth is inherent and doesn’t depend on being small or silent.
  
  
• Healing echoism means recognising when you say “it’s fine” just to stay comfortable.
  
  
• Speaking your truth doesn’t make you unkind, it makes you whole.
  
  
• The Echo Breaker Framework helps you break the pattern by noticing, saying, and standing in your truth.

BEST MOMENTS

"I felt like I was failing at being a good Pakistani, but at the same time I didn’t quite fit into the Western world either."

"It wasn’t the henna I was ashamed of. It was myself, imagining how everyone else saw me."

"When narcissists centre their needs at the cost of others, echoists erase theirs completely."

"Shrinking yourself doesn’t make you virtuous. Honouring your voice is part of your spiritual dignity."

"You don’t have to change yourself to fit what everyone expects. You’re already enough."

LINKS

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alveena-salim-a98abb49/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/withalveena/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@withAlveena

ABOUT THE HOST

Alveena is a psychology MSc student, writer, and seeker exploring the intersection of mental health, psychology, and Islamic spirituality.

Her work blends academic insight with lived experience, drawing from her background in teaching, therapy, and faith to explore identity, belonging, and healing.

Through her writing and podcast, she shares deeply personal reflections that bridge science and spirituality, encouraging honest self inquiry and wholehearted living.

Grounded yet introspective, Alveena invites others to slow down, reflect, and reconnect with who they truly are.

Thank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena