How Culture Shapes Identity and Belonging | "I Wished I Was White"

ABOUT THE EPISODE

In this episode, Alveena opens up about growing up wishing she was white and the long journey toward self acceptance. She reflects on identity, belonging, and how cultural expectations can quietly shape who we become.

Through honest storytelling and psychological insight, she explores self discrepancy theory and the tension between who we are, who we wish to be, and who we think we should be. Alveena blends ideas from psychology, mental health, and Islamic spirituality to show how self awareness and faith can help us bridge those internal gaps and start living more authentically.

This episode is a powerful listen for anyone interested in faith and identity, mental health podcasts, or healing through faith and psychology.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Self discrepancy theory explains the emotional gap between our actual, ideal, and ought selves.
  
  
• When those selves clash, it creates inner tension that can lead to guilt, burnout, or perfectionism.
  
  
• Wholehearted living means accepting your current self as worthy instead of chasing an ideal version.
  
  
• Belonging starts within, moving or changing environments won’t fix internal disconnection.
  
  
• Faith and spirituality can become tools for self compassion when rooted in sincerity, not performance.
  
  
• Healing often begins when you reconcile your real self with the version of you that once hid to fit in.
  
  

BEST MOMENTS

“For a long time I wished I was white, just because being white seemed easier.”

“The gap between who I was and who I wished I could be is what psychologists call the self discrepancy theory.”

“Wholehearted living means I’m worthy now, not when I lose weight, not when I pray more, not when I look like my friends.”

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”

“The freedom I’m giving my children to be themselves is the same freedom I’m learning to give to myself.”

LINKS

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alveena-salim-a98abb49/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/withalveena/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@withAlveena

ABOUT THE HOST

Alveena is a psychology MSc student, writer, and seeker exploring the intersection of mental health, psychology, and Islamic spirituality.

Her work blends academic insight with lived experience, drawing from her background in teaching, therapy, and faith to explore identity, belonging, and healing.

Through her writing and podcast, she shares deeply personal reflections that bridge science and spirituality, encouraging honest self inquiry and wholehearted living.

Grounded yet introspective, Alveena invites others to slow down, reflect, and reconnect with who they truly are.

Thank you for listening. If something in an episode touched you, made you think, or just hit different… I’d love to hear it. Alveena