November 21, 2024 • 26 mins
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Juggling the heavy responsibilities of caring for a loved one while facing my health battle was a wake-up call that pushed me to reevaluate my approach to mental and emotional well-being. This episode shares my journey of rediscovering the importance of self-awareness, acceptance, and rest. You'll learn how pausing to truly notice our thoughts and emotions can be a transformative practice. We can replace negativity with resilience and clarity by asking simple yet profound questions like "Is this thought true?" and incorporating practices such as affirmations and mindful rest. These insights are drawn from my own experiences and serve as an invitation to nurture your mind, body, and spirit amid life's chaos.
Embrace the power of acceptance—not as a way to endorse what has happened, but as a means to release resistance and move forward with clarity. Through personal stories and reflections, I explore how affirmations can reshape our inner dialogue, turning negative self-talk into empowering beliefs. Discover the importance of proper sleep hygiene in enhancing emotional regulation and overall well-being. By prioritizing these practices, we build a foundation for growth and resilience, empowering us to face life's challenges with strength and compassion. Join me on this journey and find the peace, clarity, and rest you deserve, and feel free to share this episode with those who might benefit.
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Disclaimer: This podcast serves solely for informational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended to replace professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment, nor does it substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental health clinician. Always consult your physician before deciding about your physical or mental health.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kapri (00:00):
Hello and welcome.
I'm your host, Kapri.
Many of you have asked how do Iembrace thoughts or emotions,
or if I could provide you withsome additional restful
practices.
So today, in this quick bonusepisode, we're exploring the art
of embracing thoughts, emotionsand the critical role rest
plays in mental and emotionalwellbeing.
(00:21):
These elements are deeplyconnected to how we process
life's challenges, regulate ouremotions and find resilience in
the face of adversity.
Rather than focusing on fixingor overcoming mental health
challenges like anxiety,depression or stress, this
episode is about understandinghow to live with harmony within
(00:43):
our inner world and within ourinner self.
Along the way, I'll share somepersonal stories or reflections
to guide you through reflectiveexercises and offer practical
strategies to integrate intoyour daily life.
Let's start by reconnectingwith ourselves, reframing
negative thoughts, tuning in toour bodies and embracing rest as
(01:05):
a foundation for overallwell-being.
Together, we'll explore howthese practices can transform
the way we care for our minds,body and spirit.
One of the most powerful yetoften overlooked practices in
self-care is simply pausing tonotice what's happening inside
of us.
For many, it feels easier tosuppress emotions, distract
(01:28):
ourselves or ignore racingthoughts, but when we avoid
these experiences, they don't goaway.
They often grow louder and moreintense.
So let's do a little exercisetogether.
Let's pause for a moment, takea deep breath in and out.
Now consider what am I feelingright now, what physical
(01:50):
sensations do I notice in mybody and what thoughts are
passing through my mind?
There's no right or wronganswer here.
The goal isn't to judge or fixanything.
It's simply to observe.
When I first began this practice, it was uncomfortable.
I realized how much I had beenavoiding my feelings because
(02:10):
they felt too big to handle.
But over time I learned thatnaming my emotions created space
to address them with moreclarity.
There was a time in my lifewhen I felt completely
disconnected from myself.
I was juggling multipleresponsibilities and every day
felt like I was running onautopilot.
The constant pressure and noiseleft me feeling overwhelmed,
(02:38):
but instead of addressing whatwas happening inside, I buried
myself in work and distractions.
So to give you a little bit ofcontext into some of the things
that I was juggling when I saidthat I had multiple
responsibilities that I juggled.
For starters, my mothersuffered a massive stroke nearly
three years ago now and thankGod she is still with us.
I continue to care for her.
I'm full of gratitude that sheis here with us, but she does
(03:01):
require 24-7 care.
Meanwhile, I was juggling, andcontinue to juggle, a full-time
job which is very high stress,toxicity in the work environment
and the overall workplaceculture used to in terms of my
day-to-day, and then, earlierthis year, I was diagnosed with
(03:29):
cancer.
At some point over the lastseveral years I started to lose
touch with who I am and what Isit for and really prioritizing
everyone else and notnecessarily focusing on my
self-care in a way that I hadalways done, and so I hope that
gives you a little bit ofclarity when I talk about
(03:52):
juggling multipleresponsibilities.
One evening after a particularlystressful day, I found myself
sitting in a quiet room, toodrained to do anything else.
For the first time in what feltlike months, I decided to pause
and just notice.
The reality was that it wasn'tmonths, it was actually years.
I closed my eyes and I askedmyself what am I feeling right
(04:14):
now?
Immediately, a wave of emotionsurfaced frustration, sadness
and exhaustion.
My body felt heavy, myshoulders were tense and my
breath was shallow.
It was uncomfortable, but itwas also the first time I truly
acknowledged how much I had beencarrying.
Instead of trying to push thosefeelings away.
(04:35):
I sat with them.
I described them to myself inmy head like narrating what I
was experiencing.
My shoulders feel tight, likeI've been holding up something
heavy all day.
My mind is racing with thoughtsabout deadlines and things I
wish I had done differently.
Naming these sensations andthoughts didn't make them
disappear, but it gave me asense of clarity.
(04:57):
I realized that I had been sofocused on doing and caring and
achieving that I had completelyneglected my own self-care, my
being being present, being awareand being kind to myself.
That moment was a turning pointfor me.
It taught me that pausing toreconnect with myself wasn't
just a nice thing to do.
(05:18):
It was an essential must thingto do.
It reminded me that I am not mystress or my to-do list, and
that I can create space forpeace even in the middle of
chaos.
From then on, I've made it apractice to check in with myself
regularly, asking what am Ifeeling?
What do I need right now?
(05:39):
It's a simple act, but it hasmade all the difference in how I
approach both challenges andopportunities.
We all have moments whennegative thoughts feel
overwhelming, as though theydefine who we are.
But here's the truth Thoughtsare not facts.
They're often shaped by fears,past experiences or mental
habits, and they can bechallenged.
(06:00):
So I began shifting perspectiveon negative thoughts, and so
some questions to ask when youwant to reframe thoughts is is
this thought true?
Is it always true?
What happens when I believethis thought?
Who would I be without thisthought?
So let's take an example.
Imagine you're thinking I'm notgood enough.
(06:22):
Walking through these questionsmight reveal that this thought
isn't true or that it onlyapplies in specific moments.
You might realize it's holdingyou back from seeing your
strengths.
Take a moment to identify onenegative thought that you've
been holding on, to Write itdown if you can Now slowly walk
through the questions Is thisthought true?
(06:44):
Is it always true?
What happens when I believethis thought?
Who would I be without thisthought?
Allow yourself time to reflect.
Notice any shifts in yourperspective.
I'll never forget a time when Iwas overwhelmed by the thought
I'm not good enough.
It seemed to creep into everyarea of my life, from my work to
(07:08):
my relationships.
I would tell myself that Iwasn't achieving enough, that I
wasn't keeping up with othersand that I was somehow falling
short of expectations.
But the worst part was how muchI believed it.
It felt like an unchangeabletruth and the more I focused on
it, the more it took over.
I started hesitating to speakup in meetings, doubting the
(07:29):
quality of my work andsecond-guessing every decision I
made.
It was exhausting.
One day I decided to challengethat thought.
I wrote it down I'm not goodenough.
Then I asked myself the firstquestion is this thought true?
My initial instinct was to sayyes or maybe, but then I started
listing all the things I haddone recently that disproved it.
(07:51):
I thought about a project I hadsuccessfully completed, the
support that I provided to afriend, and even the little
things like keeping up with myresponsibilities, despite
feeling this way.
Then I asked is it always true?
The answer was a resounding no.
I could think of plenty oftimes when I felt proud of
(08:12):
myself or when others hadacknowledged my contributions.
That realization chipped awayat the power of the thought.
The next two questions wereeven more transformative.
What happens when I believethis thought?
I realized it made me shrink.
It kept me from trying newthings, celebrating my wins or
even showing up fully in my ownlife.
(08:33):
And finally, who would I bewithout this thought?
That question hit me hard.
Without it, I would feellighter, more confident and more
open to opportunities.
By the end of this exercise,the thought I'm not good enough
felt less like a truth and morelike an outdated belief I no
longer needed to hold on to.
It didn't mean I stopped havingmoments of self-doubt or
(08:58):
imposter syndrome that we oftenhear about.
Those still happen, but now Iknow how to question those
thoughts instead of letting themtake over.
This process has become one ofthe most valuable tools in my
mental health journey andself-care journey, helping me
see myself with greater clarityand compassion.
Our emotions don't just live inour minds.
(09:21):
They show up in our bodies too.
Stress might feel liketightness in your shoulders,
while anxiety might create afluttering sensation in your
stomach or throughout your body.
Learning to listen to thesesignals is a powerful way to
tune into your needs.
One exercise that I enjoy whenI'm listening to my body is a
body scan exercise.
(09:41):
This is where you sit or youlie down and you close your eyes
if it feels safe to do so, andstart at the top of your head
and slowly scan down to yourtoes, noticing any areas of
tension, discomfort or ease.
Breathe into areas of tension,imagining your breath softening
(10:01):
and releasing those spots.
For me, this practice has beentransformative.
I used to ignore physical signsof stress, like a racing heart
or shallow breathing or evenshaky hands, until they
escalated.
Now I see these signals as mybody's way of communicating with
me and, through me, promptingme to slow down or take a break.
(10:22):
There was a period in my lifewhen I was completely
disconnected from my body.
I was constantly on the go,juggling deadlines, commitments
and personal responsibilities,and I just ignored the subtle
signs that my body was sendingme.
I thought I'll rest wheneverything is done, but of
course everything was never done.
One evening, as I was wrappingup a long day, I noticed
(10:44):
something strange.
My shoulders felt like theywere locked in place, my jaw was
clenched and I was starting togrind my teeth uncontrollably.
And then there was thistightness in my chest that felt
like an elephant was on top ofme and it was hard to take a
deep breath.
At first I dismissed it asphysical exhaustion, but the
(11:04):
sensations didn't go away.
The next day I felt the sametension and by the end of the
week I realized that my body waspractically shouting at me to
just stop, to slow down.
For the first time, I decided topause, take a break, really
listen.
I sat down in a quiet space andI closed my eyes.
I scanned my body from head totoe, asking myself where do I
(11:27):
feel tension?
Where do I feel ease?
My shoulders were stiff, mybreathing was shallow and my
stomach was unsettled.
These sensations weren't justrandom.
They were clues about howoverwhelmed I was emotionally
and mentally.
Instead of brushing off thesefeelings, I acknowledged them.
I placed a hand on my chest andI said out loud I hear you,
(11:49):
you're tired and that's okay.
I took several deep breaths,focusing on letting the
tightness in my chest softenwith each exhale.
For the first time in weeks, Ifelt a sense of release, not
just physically, but emotionallyand spiritually as well.
That moment taught me theimportance of tuning into my
body, not just when somethingfeels wrong, but as a regular
(12:11):
practice.
Now I make it a point to checkin with myself throughout the
day.
If I notice tension ordiscomfort, I pause, take a deep
breath and ask what does mybody need right now?
It might be a stretch, a break,or even just a glass of water,
but those small acts of careremind me to stay connected to
(12:32):
myself.
Listening to my body has becomea vital part of how I manage
stress and how I maintainbalance in life.
I want to spend a moment toshare with you how I embrace
acceptance.
Acceptance is a practice ofacknowledging what's happening
in our lives without resistanceor judgment.
It doesn't mean we have to likeor agree with everything.
(12:54):
It means we stop fightingreality and start working with
it.
I often reflect on the serenityprayer.
Grant me the serenity to acceptthe things I cannot change,
courage to change the things Ican, and wisdom to know the
difference.
This framework reminds us tofocus on what's within our
control, while letting go of thestruggle against what we can't
(13:17):
change in our control.
While letting go of thestruggle against what we can't
change, acceptance frees upenergy for meaningful action.
There was a time in my life whenI faced a significant
professional setback.
A project I had poured my heartand soul into didn't go the way
I'd hoped, despite my efforts.
External factors beyond mycontrol led to outcomes that
felt disappointing.
I kept replaying the situationin my head, asking myself what
(13:39):
could I have done differentlyand feeling stuck in a loop of
self-blame and frustration.
At the time, the idea ofacceptance felt impossible.
How could I accept somethingthat felt so unfair and out of
alignment with what I wanted.
But as the days turned intoweeks, I realized that my
resistance wasn't changing thesituation.
(13:59):
It was changing.
It was only deepening my stress.
I was spending so much energywishing things were different
that I had no capacity to focuson what I could actually do next
.
One day I sat with the realityof what had happened.
I wrote down everything I wasfeeling, from anger to
disappointment and sadness, andthen asked myself well, what can
(14:20):
I change and what do I need tolet go of?
The answer wasn't easy to face,but it was clear.
I couldn't undo the past and Icouldn't control the external
factors that had influenced theoutcome.
What I could do was take thelessons from the experience and
use them to move forward.
That moment of acceptancewasn't about giving up or
(14:41):
minimizing what happened.
It was about freeing myselffrom the weight of resistance.
I repeated to myself somethingI heard before but never fully
internalized what's done is done, but what comes next is up to
me.
By embracing acceptance, Ifound clarity and direction.
(15:01):
I stopped focusing on what Icouldn't change and started
channeling my energy into what Icould.
That shift allowed me toapproach future projects with
more wisdom, resilience andconfidence.
Looking back, I realized thatacceptance doesn't mean liking
or agreeing with everything thathappens.
It simply means acknowledgingreality as it is so we can find
(15:25):
the freedom to grow and moveforward.
It's not easy, but it's one ofthe most liberating lessons I've
learned.
The way we talk to ourselvesmatters.
Affirmations are a simple yetpowerful way to replace negative
self-talk with empoweringbeliefs.
When repeated consistently,they can help reshape how we see
(15:46):
ourselves and our potential.
For example, an affirmationcould look like I am capable of
growth and change.
I am worthy of love and care.
I have the strength to facetoday with courage and
compassion.
I can rewrite my story wheneverI choose.
One time, I found myself stuckin a cycle of negative self-talk
(16:09):
.
I was taking on newresponsibilities and constantly
questioning my abilities.
The thought I'm not capableenough for this played on a loop
in my mind, no matter how mucheffort I put into my work.
I felt like I wasn't enough.
Worse, I started avoidingopportunities where I might be
challenged.
Like I wasn't enough.
Worse, I started avoidingopportunities where I might be
challenged, convinced that Iwould fail One day.
(16:29):
My husband suggested that Irestart the use of affirmations.
At first I was skepticalbecause it had been a while
since I had used affirmationsand I thought how can repeating
words to myself change anything?
But I was willing to trysomething different and to start
this again.
So I decided to give it a shot,with much more intention and
(16:51):
focus than I did before, and Ichose a simple affirmation I am
capable and deserving of success.
At first it felt a littleawkward and unnatural.
I would say it in my headbefore a meeting or repeat it to
myself while looking in themirror.
But I didn't truly believe it.
Still, I stuck with it.
Over time, something surprisinghappened.
(17:14):
Those words started to sink in.
They became a counterbalance tothe negative thoughts that used
to dominate my mind.
One moment stands out vividly.
I was preparing for a highstakes presentation that I had
been dreading for weeks.
As the day approached, theusual doubts crept in You're
going to mess this up.
You don't know enough.
(17:34):
But instead of spiraling, Ipaused, took a deep breath and
repeated my affirmation I amcapable and deserving of success
.
I said it again and again untilthe negative thoughts lost
their grip.
When I stood in front of thataudience that day, I didn't feel
completely fearless.
I felt steady, the presentationwent well and, for the first
(17:58):
time, I gave myself credit formy preparation and effort,
instead of brushing it off asluck.
The experience taught me thepower of affirmations and belief
.
They didn't magically erase mydoubts, but they gave me a new
narrative to lean on, anarrative that empowered me to
show up as my full self.
To this day, I use affirmationsregularly, especially during
(18:22):
moments of self-doubt.
They remind me that I am notdefined by my fears or past
mistakes, but by my ability togrow, learn and keep moving
forward.
Let's try a quick practicetogether.
Take a deep breath.
As you exhale, repeat theaffirmation I am enough, just as
I am.
(18:42):
I am enough just as I am.
Notice how it feels to saythose words and repeat them as
often as you need throughoutyour day.
Now, one element that is oftenoverlooked when we talk about
emotional well-being andself-care is rest.
(19:03):
It is an essential part ofemotional well-being.
Sleep helps the mind processemotions, store memories and
restore balance.
Yet when we're stressed oroverwhelmed, it's often the
first thing to suffer.
So I want you to practice somesleep hygiene that can help you
to rest well and to improve youremotional regulation.
(19:26):
One is to maintain a consistentsleep schedule, even on the
weekends.
Use your bed only for sleep tostrengthen the association with
rest.
Now, you might use your bed fora few other things, right, but
make sure you're primarily usingyour bed for sleep.
So that means no laptops,gadgets, devices, et cetera, et
(19:49):
cetera unless these are devicesthat are going to enable and
empower you to get a good nightrest.
Also, you want to avoidstimulants like caffeine,
alcohol or heavy meals beforebedtime and create a calming
sleep environment.
Cool, dark and quiet is usuallybest.
If your mind is racing, trydeep breathing or a mindful
(20:12):
countdown from nine to zero.
Remind yourself that nighttimeworries often feel different in
the morning and if you're wideawake, get out of bed and read
something calming until you feelsleepy.
I used to pride myself on beingable to function with very
little sleep, and by very littleI mean four hours or less.
This is a toxic culture andtrait.
(20:34):
I picked up working in New YorkCity at a big four firm where
sleep was deprioritized and work, work, work was the priority.
Late nights spent working oroverthinking felt like badges of
honor in my busy life, but overtime I began to notice the
cracks forming.
I was constantly irritable,emotionally reactive and
(20:57):
struggled to focus.
Even minor challenges feltoverwhelming, and my ability to
think clearly or regulate myemotions became harder and
harder.
One particularly difficultnight stands out in my memory,
as I was lying in bed completelyexhausted, but my mind refused
to quiet down.
Thoughts raced about everythingI needed to do, everything I
(21:18):
hadn't done and every mistake Ithought I had made.
Hours passed and I keptthinking what if I don't fall
asleep at all?
How will I function tomorrow?
The harder I tried to forcemyself to sleep, the more
anxious I became.
By the morning time I feltdefeated.
That night was a wake-up call,literally and figuratively.
I realized I needed to changemy relationship with rest and
(21:41):
prioritize sleep as a form ofself-care.
I started by learning aboutsleep hygiene and adopting a
consistent bedtime routine.
One of the biggest changes Imade was creating a calming
ritual before bed turning offscreens an hour beforehand,
drinking herbal tea andjournaling my thoughts to clear
my mind.
One practice that really helpedwas reframing my mindset around
(22:05):
sleepless nights.
Instead of thinking when Icouldn't sleep, I began telling
myself rest is valuable.
Even if sleep doesn't comeright away, it's okay to simply
lie here in this bed and let mybody relax.
That shift alone took so muchpressure off and reduced the
anxiety that kept me awake.
Another night I tried abreathing technique that I had
(22:28):
read about, counting down fromnine to zero with each breath,
or practicing the four, seven,eight technique that I talked
about in previous episodes.
I remember thinking this justsounds too simple to work, but
to my surprise, it helped calmmy racing thoughts.
I didn't fall asleepimmediately, but I felt a sense
(22:48):
of peace that allowed me to restinstead of ruminate.
Over time, these changes made aprofound difference.
I still have occasionalrestless nights, but I no longer
spiral into panic when theyhappen.
Sleep has become a priority inmy life, spiral into panic when
they happen.
Sleep has become a priority inmy life not just because it
restores my body, but becauseit's the foundation for
(23:09):
emotional regulation.
When I'm rested, I can facechallenges with a clearer mind
and a steadier heart.
That's a lesson I wish I hadlearned sooner, but one I'm
deeply grateful for now.
Mental health and well-being andself-care is not about
achieving perfection.
It's about building acompassionate, curious
relationship with yourself.
By reconnecting with your innerworld, reframing negative
(23:33):
thoughts, listening to your bodyand prioritizing rest, you
create a foundation forresilience and growth.
Thank you for being part ofthis conversation today.
Resilience and growth.
Thank you for being part ofthis conversation today.
Whether you're listening,reading along or engaging in
another way, I'm grateful foryour time and presence.
If this episode resonated withyou, please share it with
(23:55):
someone who might benefit.
Follow Reframing the Membrane,crossing Boundaries, and connect
with me through yourreflections or topic suggestions
.
Take care of yourself.
Each moment is an opportunityto nurture your mind, body and
spirit.
Until next time, I wish youpeace, clarity and rest on your
journey.
Hello and welcome.
I'm your host, Kapri.
Many of you have asked how do Iembrace thoughts or emotions,
or if I could provide you withsome additional restful
practices.
So today, in this quick bonusepisode, we're exploring the art
of embracing thoughts, emotionsand the critical role rest
plays in mental and emotionalwellbeing.
(00:21):
These elements are deeplyconnected to how we process
life's challenges, regulate ouremotions and find resilience in
the face of adversity.
Rather than focusing on fixingor overcoming mental health
challenges like anxiety,depression or stress, this
episode is about understandinghow to live with harmony within
(00:43):
our inner world and within ourinner self.
Along the way, I'll share somepersonal stories or reflections
to guide you through reflectiveexercises and offer practical
strategies to integrate intoyour daily life.
Let's start by reconnectingwith ourselves, reframing
negative thoughts, tuning in toour bodies and embracing rest as
(01:05):
a foundation for overallwell-being.
Together, we'll explore howthese practices can transform
the way we care for our minds,body and spirit.
One of the most powerful yetoften overlooked practices in
self-care is simply pausing tonotice what's happening inside
of us.
For many, it feels easier tosuppress emotions, distract
(01:28):
ourselves or ignore racingthoughts, but when we avoid
these experiences, they don't goaway.
They often grow louder and moreintense.
So let's do a little exercisetogether.
Let's pause for a moment, takea deep breath in and out.
Now consider what am I feelingright now, what physical
(01:50):
sensations do I notice in mybody and what thoughts are
passing through my mind?
There's no right or wronganswer here.
The goal isn't to judge or fixanything.
It's simply to observe.
When I first began this practice, it was uncomfortable.
I realized how much I had beenavoiding my feelings because
(02:10):
they felt too big to handle.
But over time I learned thatnaming my emotions created space
to address them with moreclarity.
There was a time in my lifewhen I felt completely
disconnected from myself.
I was juggling multipleresponsibilities and every day
felt like I was running onautopilot.
The constant pressure and noiseleft me feeling overwhelmed,
(02:38):
but instead of addressing whatwas happening inside, I buried
myself in work and distractions.
So to give you a little bit ofcontext into some of the things
that I was juggling when I saidthat I had multiple
responsibilities that I juggled.
For starters, my mothersuffered a massive stroke nearly
three years ago now and thankGod she is still with us.
I continue to care for her.
I'm full of gratitude that sheis here with us, but she does
(03:01):
require 24-7 care.
Meanwhile, I was juggling, andcontinue to juggle, a full-time
job which is very high stress,toxicity in the work environment
and the overall workplaceculture used to in terms of my
day-to-day, and then, earlierthis year, I was diagnosed with
(03:29):
cancer.
At some point over the lastseveral years I started to lose
touch with who I am and what Isit for and really prioritizing
everyone else and notnecessarily focusing on my
self-care in a way that I hadalways done, and so I hope that
gives you a little bit ofclarity when I talk about
(03:52):
juggling multipleresponsibilities.
One evening after a particularlystressful day, I found myself
sitting in a quiet room, toodrained to do anything else.
For the first time in what feltlike months, I decided to pause
and just notice.
The reality was that it wasn'tmonths, it was actually years.
I closed my eyes and I askedmyself what am I feeling right
(04:14):
now?
Immediately, a wave of emotionsurfaced frustration, sadness
and exhaustion.
My body felt heavy, myshoulders were tense and my
breath was shallow.
It was uncomfortable, but itwas also the first time I truly
acknowledged how much I had beencarrying.
Instead of trying to push thosefeelings away.
(04:35):
I sat with them.
I described them to myself inmy head like narrating what I
was experiencing.
My shoulders feel tight, likeI've been holding up something
heavy all day.
My mind is racing with thoughtsabout deadlines and things I
wish I had done differently.
Naming these sensations andthoughts didn't make them
disappear, but it gave me asense of clarity.
(04:57):
I realized that I had been sofocused on doing and caring and
achieving that I had completelyneglected my own self-care, my
being being present, being awareand being kind to myself.
That moment was a turning pointfor me.
It taught me that pausing toreconnect with myself wasn't
just a nice thing to do.
(05:18):
It was an essential must thingto do.
It reminded me that I am not mystress or my to-do list, and
that I can create space forpeace even in the middle of
chaos.
From then on, I've made it apractice to check in with myself
regularly, asking what am Ifeeling?
What do I need right now?
(05:39):
It's a simple act, but it hasmade all the difference in how I
approach both challenges andopportunities.
We all have moments whennegative thoughts feel
overwhelming, as though theydefine who we are.
But here's the truth Thoughtsare not facts.
They're often shaped by fears,past experiences or mental
habits, and they can bechallenged.
(06:00):
So I began shifting perspectiveon negative thoughts, and so
some questions to ask when youwant to reframe thoughts is is
this thought true?
Is it always true?
What happens when I believethis thought?
Who would I be without thisthought?
So let's take an example.
Imagine you're thinking I'm notgood enough.
(06:22):
Walking through these questionsmight reveal that this thought
isn't true or that it onlyapplies in specific moments.
You might realize it's holdingyou back from seeing your
strengths.
Take a moment to identify onenegative thought that you've
been holding on, to Write itdown if you can Now slowly walk
through the questions Is thisthought true?
(06:44):
Is it always true?
What happens when I believethis thought?
Who would I be without thisthought?
Allow yourself time to reflect.
Notice any shifts in yourperspective.
I'll never forget a time when Iwas overwhelmed by the thought
I'm not good enough.
It seemed to creep into everyarea of my life, from my work to
(07:08):
my relationships.
I would tell myself that Iwasn't achieving enough, that I
wasn't keeping up with othersand that I was somehow falling
short of expectations.
But the worst part was how muchI believed it.
It felt like an unchangeabletruth and the more I focused on
it, the more it took over.
I started hesitating to speakup in meetings, doubting the
(07:29):
quality of my work andsecond-guessing every decision I
made.
It was exhausting.
One day I decided to challengethat thought.
I wrote it down I'm not goodenough.
Then I asked myself the firstquestion is this thought true?
My initial instinct was to sayyes or maybe, but then I started
listing all the things I haddone recently that disproved it.
(07:51):
I thought about a project I hadsuccessfully completed, the
support that I provided to afriend, and even the little
things like keeping up with myresponsibilities, despite
feeling this way.
Then I asked is it always true?
The answer was a resounding no.
I could think of plenty oftimes when I felt proud of
(08:12):
myself or when others hadacknowledged my contributions.
That realization chipped awayat the power of the thought.
The next two questions wereeven more transformative.
What happens when I believethis thought?
I realized it made me shrink.
It kept me from trying newthings, celebrating my wins or
even showing up fully in my ownlife.
(08:33):
And finally, who would I bewithout this thought?
That question hit me hard.
Without it, I would feellighter, more confident and more
open to opportunities.
By the end of this exercise,the thought I'm not good enough
felt less like a truth and morelike an outdated belief I no
longer needed to hold on to.
It didn't mean I stopped havingmoments of self-doubt or
(08:58):
imposter syndrome that we oftenhear about.
Those still happen, but now Iknow how to question those
thoughts instead of letting themtake over.
This process has become one ofthe most valuable tools in my
mental health journey andself-care journey, helping me
see myself with greater clarityand compassion.
Our emotions don't just live inour minds.
(09:21):
They show up in our bodies too.
Stress might feel liketightness in your shoulders,
while anxiety might create afluttering sensation in your
stomach or throughout your body.
Learning to listen to thesesignals is a powerful way to
tune into your needs.
One exercise that I enjoy whenI'm listening to my body is a
body scan exercise.
(09:41):
This is where you sit or youlie down and you close your eyes
if it feels safe to do so, andstart at the top of your head
and slowly scan down to yourtoes, noticing any areas of
tension, discomfort or ease.
Breathe into areas of tension,imagining your breath softening
(10:01):
and releasing those spots.
For me, this practice has beentransformative.
I used to ignore physical signsof stress, like a racing heart
or shallow breathing or evenshaky hands, until they
escalated.
Now I see these signals as mybody's way of communicating with
me and, through me, promptingme to slow down or take a break.
(10:22):
There was a period in my lifewhen I was completely
disconnected from my body.
I was constantly on the go,juggling deadlines, commitments
and personal responsibilities,and I just ignored the subtle
signs that my body was sendingme.
I thought I'll rest wheneverything is done, but of
course everything was never done.
One evening, as I was wrappingup a long day, I noticed
(10:44):
something strange.
My shoulders felt like theywere locked in place, my jaw was
clenched and I was starting togrind my teeth uncontrollably.
And then there was thistightness in my chest that felt
like an elephant was on top ofme and it was hard to take a
deep breath.
At first I dismissed it asphysical exhaustion, but the
(11:04):
sensations didn't go away.
The next day I felt the sametension and by the end of the
week I realized that my body waspractically shouting at me to
just stop, to slow down.
For the first time, I decided topause, take a break, really
listen.
I sat down in a quiet space andI closed my eyes.
I scanned my body from head totoe, asking myself where do I
(11:27):
feel tension?
Where do I feel ease?
My shoulders were stiff, mybreathing was shallow and my
stomach was unsettled.
These sensations weren't justrandom.
They were clues about howoverwhelmed I was emotionally
and mentally.
Instead of brushing off thesefeelings, I acknowledged them.
I placed a hand on my chest andI said out loud I hear you,
(11:49):
you're tired and that's okay.
I took several deep breaths,focusing on letting the
tightness in my chest softenwith each exhale.
For the first time in weeks, Ifelt a sense of release, not
just physically, but emotionallyand spiritually as well.
That moment taught me theimportance of tuning into my
body, not just when somethingfeels wrong, but as a regular
(12:11):
practice.
Now I make it a point to checkin with myself throughout the
day.
If I notice tension ordiscomfort, I pause, take a deep
breath and ask what does mybody need right now?
It might be a stretch, a break,or even just a glass of water,
but those small acts of careremind me to stay connected to
(12:32):
myself.
Listening to my body has becomea vital part of how I manage
stress and how I maintainbalance in life.
I want to spend a moment toshare with you how I embrace
acceptance.
Acceptance is a practice ofacknowledging what's happening
in our lives without resistanceor judgment.
It doesn't mean we have to likeor agree with everything.
(12:54):
It means we stop fightingreality and start working with
it.
I often reflect on the serenityprayer.
Grant me the serenity to acceptthe things I cannot change,
courage to change the things Ican, and wisdom to know the
difference.
This framework reminds us tofocus on what's within our
control, while letting go of thestruggle against what we can't
(13:17):
change in our control.
While letting go of thestruggle against what we can't
change, acceptance frees upenergy for meaningful action.
There was a time in my life whenI faced a significant
professional setback.
A project I had poured my heartand soul into didn't go the way
I'd hoped, despite my efforts.
External factors beyond mycontrol led to outcomes that
felt disappointing.
I kept replaying the situationin my head, asking myself what
(13:39):
could I have done differentlyand feeling stuck in a loop of
self-blame and frustration.
At the time, the idea ofacceptance felt impossible.
How could I accept somethingthat felt so unfair and out of
alignment with what I wanted.
But as the days turned intoweeks, I realized that my
resistance wasn't changing thesituation.
(13:59):
It was changing.
It was only deepening my stress.
I was spending so much energywishing things were different
that I had no capacity to focuson what I could actually do next
.
One day I sat with the realityof what had happened.
I wrote down everything I wasfeeling, from anger to
disappointment and sadness, andthen asked myself well, what can
(14:20):
I change and what do I need tolet go of?
The answer wasn't easy to face,but it was clear.
I couldn't undo the past and Icouldn't control the external
factors that had influenced theoutcome.
What I could do was take thelessons from the experience and
use them to move forward.
That moment of acceptancewasn't about giving up or
(14:41):
minimizing what happened.
It was about freeing myselffrom the weight of resistance.
I repeated to myself somethingI heard before but never fully
internalized what's done is done, but what comes next is up to
me.
By embracing acceptance, Ifound clarity and direction.
(15:01):
I stopped focusing on what Icouldn't change and started
channeling my energy into what Icould.
That shift allowed me toapproach future projects with
more wisdom, resilience andconfidence.
Looking back, I realized thatacceptance doesn't mean liking
or agreeing with everything thathappens.
It simply means acknowledgingreality as it is so we can find
(15:25):
the freedom to grow and moveforward.
It's not easy, but it's one ofthe most liberating lessons I've
learned.
The way we talk to ourselvesmatters.
Affirmations are a simple yetpowerful way to replace negative
self-talk with empoweringbeliefs.
When repeated consistently,they can help reshape how we see
(15:46):
ourselves and our potential.
For example, an affirmationcould look like I am capable of
growth and change.
I am worthy of love and care.
I have the strength to facetoday with courage and
compassion.
I can rewrite my story wheneverI choose.
One time, I found myself stuckin a cycle of negative self-talk
(16:09):
.
I was taking on newresponsibilities and constantly
questioning my abilities.
The thought I'm not capableenough for this played on a loop
in my mind, no matter how mucheffort I put into my work.
I felt like I wasn't enough.
Worse, I started avoidingopportunities where I might be
challenged.
Like I wasn't enough.
Worse, I started avoidingopportunities where I might be
challenged, convinced that Iwould fail One day.
(16:29):
My husband suggested that Irestart the use of affirmations.
At first I was skepticalbecause it had been a while
since I had used affirmationsand I thought how can repeating
words to myself change anything?
But I was willing to trysomething different and to start
this again.
So I decided to give it a shot,with much more intention and
(16:51):
focus than I did before, and Ichose a simple affirmation I am
capable and deserving of success.
At first it felt a littleawkward and unnatural.
I would say it in my headbefore a meeting or repeat it to
myself while looking in themirror.
But I didn't truly believe it.
Still, I stuck with it.
Over time, something surprisinghappened.
(17:14):
Those words started to sink in.
They became a counterbalance tothe negative thoughts that used
to dominate my mind.
One moment stands out vividly.
I was preparing for a highstakes presentation that I had
been dreading for weeks.
As the day approached, theusual doubts crept in You're
going to mess this up.
You don't know enough.
(17:34):
But instead of spiraling, Ipaused, took a deep breath and
repeated my affirmation I amcapable and deserving of success
.
I said it again and again untilthe negative thoughts lost
their grip.
When I stood in front of thataudience that day, I didn't feel
completely fearless.
I felt steady, the presentationwent well and, for the first
(17:58):
time, I gave myself credit formy preparation and effort,
instead of brushing it off asluck.
The experience taught me thepower of affirmations and belief
.
They didn't magically erase mydoubts, but they gave me a new
narrative to lean on, anarrative that empowered me to
show up as my full self.
To this day, I use affirmationsregularly, especially during
(18:22):
moments of self-doubt.
They remind me that I am notdefined by my fears or past
mistakes, but by my ability togrow, learn and keep moving
forward.
Let's try a quick practicetogether.
Take a deep breath.
As you exhale, repeat theaffirmation I am enough, just as
I am.
(18:42):
I am enough just as I am.
Notice how it feels to saythose words and repeat them as
often as you need throughoutyour day.
Now, one element that is oftenoverlooked when we talk about
emotional well-being andself-care is rest.
(19:03):
It is an essential part ofemotional well-being.
Sleep helps the mind processemotions, store memories and
restore balance.
Yet when we're stressed oroverwhelmed, it's often the
first thing to suffer.
So I want you to practice somesleep hygiene that can help you
to rest well and to improve youremotional regulation.
(19:26):
One is to maintain a consistentsleep schedule, even on the
weekends.
Use your bed only for sleep tostrengthen the association with
rest.
Now, you might use your bed fora few other things, right, but
make sure you're primarily usingyour bed for sleep.
So that means no laptops,gadgets, devices, et cetera, et
(19:49):
cetera unless these are devicesthat are going to enable and
empower you to get a good nightrest.
Also, you want to avoidstimulants like caffeine,
alcohol or heavy meals beforebedtime and create a calming
sleep environment.
Cool, dark and quiet is usuallybest.
If your mind is racing, trydeep breathing or a mindful
(20:12):
countdown from nine to zero.
Remind yourself that nighttimeworries often feel different in
the morning and if you're wideawake, get out of bed and read
something calming until you feelsleepy.
I used to pride myself on beingable to function with very
little sleep, and by very littleI mean four hours or less.
This is a toxic culture andtrait.
(20:34):
I picked up working in New YorkCity at a big four firm where
sleep was deprioritized and work, work, work was the priority.
Late nights spent working oroverthinking felt like badges of
honor in my busy life, but overtime I began to notice the
cracks forming.
I was constantly irritable,emotionally reactive and
(20:57):
struggled to focus.
Even minor challenges feltoverwhelming, and my ability to
think clearly or regulate myemotions became harder and
harder.
One particularly difficultnight stands out in my memory,
as I was lying in bed completelyexhausted, but my mind refused
to quiet down.
Thoughts raced about everythingI needed to do, everything I
(21:18):
hadn't done and every mistake Ithought I had made.
Hours passed and I keptthinking what if I don't fall
asleep at all?
How will I function tomorrow?
The harder I tried to forcemyself to sleep, the more
anxious I became.
By the morning time I feltdefeated.
That night was a wake-up call,literally and figuratively.
I realized I needed to changemy relationship with rest and
(21:41):
prioritize sleep as a form ofself-care.
I started by learning aboutsleep hygiene and adopting a
consistent bedtime routine.
One of the biggest changes Imade was creating a calming
ritual before bed turning offscreens an hour beforehand,
drinking herbal tea andjournaling my thoughts to clear
my mind.
One practice that really helpedwas reframing my mindset around
(22:05):
sleepless nights.
Instead of thinking when Icouldn't sleep, I began telling
myself rest is valuable.
Even if sleep doesn't comeright away, it's okay to simply
lie here in this bed and let mybody relax.
That shift alone took so muchpressure off and reduced the
anxiety that kept me awake.
Another night I tried abreathing technique that I had
(22:28):
read about, counting down fromnine to zero with each breath,
or practicing the four, seven,eight technique that I talked
about in previous episodes.
I remember thinking this justsounds too simple to work, but
to my surprise, it helped calmmy racing thoughts.
I didn't fall asleepimmediately, but I felt a sense
(22:48):
of peace that allowed me to restinstead of ruminate.
Over time, these changes made aprofound difference.
I still have occasionalrestless nights, but I no longer
spiral into panic when theyhappen.
Sleep has become a priority inmy life, spiral into panic when
they happen.
Sleep has become a priority inmy life not just because it
restores my body, but becauseit's the foundation for
(23:09):
emotional regulation.
When I'm rested, I can facechallenges with a clearer mind
and a steadier heart.
That's a lesson I wish I hadlearned sooner, but one I'm
deeply grateful for now.
Mental health and well-being andself-care is not about
achieving perfection.
It's about building acompassionate, curious
relationship with yourself.
By reconnecting with your innerworld, reframing negative
(23:33):
thoughts, listening to your bodyand prioritizing rest, you
create a foundation forresilience and growth.
Thank you for being part ofthis conversation today.
Resilience and growth.
Thank you for being part ofthis conversation today.
Whether you're listening,reading along or engaging in
another way, I'm grateful foryour time and presence.
If this episode resonated withyou, please share it with
(23:55):
someone who might benefit.
Follow Reframing the Membrane,crossing Boundaries, and connect
with me through yourreflections or topic suggestions
.
Take care of yourself.
Each moment is an opportunityto nurture your mind, body and
spirit.
Until next time, I wish youpeace, clarity and rest on your
journey.
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