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April 6, 2025 47 mins

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Vicarious trauma is the emotional and psychological impact of witnessing or hearing about trauma that happens to others, sometimes called the cost of caring. Your empathy is not a weakness - it just needs care and attention.

• Vicarious trauma symptoms affect your mind, emotions, body, and view of the world
• Emotional signs include anxiety, sadness, helplessness, anger, guilt, and emotional exhaustion
• Physical effects include sleep problems, stress hormone overload, headaches, and immune system suppression
• Cognitive symptoms involve intrusive thoughts, nightmares, and disrupted belief systems
• Vicarious trauma differs from burnout, which isn't specific to trauma exposure
• Compassion fatigue refers specifically to the gradual lessening of empathy over time
• Media exposure can cause significant vicarious trauma - sometimes more than being at the event
• Processing strategies include talking with trusted people, journaling, art, and somatic movement
• Setting boundaries around trauma exposure is essential for healing and prevention
• Self-compassion and community support help counter isolation and self-criticism
• Focusing on meaning, resilience, and empowerment transforms helplessness into purpose

If you're dealing with vicarious trauma, you're not alone. Healing is possible through recognizing it, setting boundaries, getting rest, leaning on support, grounding yourself, and seeking help when needed.

Find Reframing the Membrane: Crossing Boundaries 

Help Resources: 

Learning Resources: 

Disclaimer: This podcast serves solely for informational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended to replace professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment, nor does it substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental health clinician. Always consult your physician before deciding about your physical or mental health.

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Episode Transcript

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Kapri (00:00):
Hello and welcome to another episode of Reframing the
Membrane.
I'm your host, Kapri.
Today we're going to gentlyunpack a topic that many caring
and compassionate peopleexperience without even
realizing it vicarious trauma.
In simple terms, vicarioustrauma is the emotional and
psychological impact ofwitnessing or hearing about

(00:22):
trauma that happens to others.
It's sometimes called secondarytrauma or even described as the
cost of caring for others inpain.
You don't have to go through atraumatic event yourself to be
deeply affected by it.
Sometimes caring can hurt too.
Now, this is an important andtender topic, so let's approach
it slowly and with care.

(00:43):
A gentle note and tender topic,so let's approach it slowly and
with care.
A gentle note as we talk abouttrauma and stress, be kind with
yourself.
If, at any point, you need topause, take a breath or step
away, please do.
You can always come backwhenever you're ready.
Your well-being is the priority.
So what is vicarious trauma?
Have you ever felt drained orupset after helping someone

(01:04):
through a difficult time, oreven just from watching
distressing news on TV?
Maybe you had trouble sleepingafter hearing a friend's
harrowing story, or you felt awave of anxiety after seeing
footage of a disaster.
If so, you may have experiencedvicarious trauma.
Vicarious trauma is essentiallytrauma by proxy.

(01:25):
It happens when we internalizeothers' trauma through empathy
and exposure.
Unlike direct trauma, whichcomes from events we personally
live through, vicarious traumais a byproduct of empathy.
It's what can occur when youcare deeply and bear witness to
someone else's pain.
Your mind and body can actuallybegin to respond as though you

(01:47):
had experienced the trauma, eventhough you haven't, simply
because you are empathizing andimagining what the person went
through.
In plain language, vicarioustrauma means that the stories,
images or emotions of anotherperson's trauma stick with you
and start to affect your ownwell-being.
Psychologists first identifiedit in the 1980s and

(02:09):
professionals who work withtrauma survivors noting it as
the cost of caring for others aterm by Dr Charles Figley.
But you do not have to be atherapist or a first responder
to feel this.
It can affect anyone.
For example, if you're acaregiver or a nurse, you might
go home with the weight of yourpatient's pain on your heart.

(02:29):
If you're an activist or asocial worker, hearing daily
accounts of injustice andviolence, those stories might
haunt you at night.
And if you're a parent or afriend supporting a loved one
through trauma, their nightmaresmight become your nightmares,
even if you're just anempathetic consumer of media,
constantly seeing news oftragedies or scrolling through

(02:57):
social media posts aboutviolence or disaster, you might
start to feel anxiety, fear orsadness as if you were directly
affected.
In the past, vicarious traumawas mostly discussed in the
context of helping professionalsso therapists, emergency
responders, humanitarian workersand so on and indeed it is very
common in those roles.
Some estimate that between 40and 85 percent of professionals

(03:20):
in fields like healthcare,counseling or social services
will develop vicarious trauma orrelated symptoms at some point
in their career.
But today, with our 24-7 newscycle and social media, anyone
can become a secondary witnessto trauma.
We're all connected, for betteror worse, to the pain of people
across the world.

(03:41):
To illustrate how powerfulindirect exposure can be,
researchers that studied the2013 Boston Marathon bombing
found that people who watchedexcessive media coverage of the
bombing at least six hours a dayin the week after the event
actually reported more acutestress symptoms than people who
were at the marathon in person.
Think about that.

(04:02):
Some folks who were nowherenear the tragedy ended up more
shaken simply because of whatthey saw and heard through media
.
In the study, every additionalhour of watching those traumatic
images and stories increasedpeople's stress responses.
That's a dramatic example ofvicarious trauma at work and a
sign that our brains can'tabsorb trauma, even through

(04:22):
screens.
So in summary, vicarious traumais a kind of secondhand trauma.
It can accumulate slowly overtime.
Each story you hear, each imageyou see, each person you help,
a piece of their suffering canlodge itself into your mind and
body and if we don't recognizewhat's happening and take care
of ourselves, those pieces canbuild up into real distress.

(04:46):
You might wonder what doesvicarious trauma actually look
or feel like?
How do you know if you'reexperiencing it?
That's a great question.
Vicarious trauma can mimic manyof the symptoms of direct trauma
.
It can affect your mind,emotions, body and even your
view of the world.
Let's break it down a littlebit more.
Emotional and psychologicalsigns you might start feeling a

(05:12):
constant sense of anxiety orworry, or an overwhelming
sadness or helplessness that youcan't quite shake.
Many people report feelings ofanger or rage about what
happened to others, or evenguilt like a survivor's guilt by
proxy to others, or even guiltlike a survivor's guilt by proxy
feeling bad that you're safewhile others suffered.
Over time you may feel numb oremotionally exhausted, as if
you've run out of empathy togive.

(05:33):
Little things might irritateyou more easily, or you could
swing between feeling okay andthen suddenly feeling despair or
panic.
Some develop a sense ofcynicism or hopelessness,
thinking things like what's thepoint of trying to help if
suffering just continues?
This cynicism is a protectiveshell.

(05:54):
It's your mind's way of copingwith too much pain, but it can
distance you from the joy andmeaning in your work or life.
There are some cognitive effectsof vicarious trauma that can
change the way you see the worldand yourself.
You might find that yourworldview becomes darker, for
example, losing trust in othersor seeing the world as

(06:16):
fundamentally safe, unsafe orcruel.
These are sometimes calleddisrupted belief systems.
So you may have intrusivethoughts or images that pop into
your head about the traumaticthings you've heard and seen.
This could even includenightmares or flashbacks related

(06:36):
to the things you've heard orseen or other people's
experiences.
You might have troubleconcentrating or making
decisions because part of yourmind is stuck processing those
stories in the background.
Some people report feelingdetached or not quite present in
their own life because theirmind is fixed elsewhere,

(06:57):
replaying what they've learnedor worrying about the people
affected.
And there are physical effectsas well.
Our minds and bodies are deeplyconnected.
When we carry others' trauma,our bodies often bear the load.
You might experience sleepproblems such as insomnia,
restless sleep or even fatigue,even after rest.

(07:18):
Stress hormones can be onoverdrive so you could feel on
edge.
Your heart races or you startleeasily at loud sounds, similar
to how someone with directtrauma might feel in flight or
fight mode.
Chronic stress can lead toheadaches, muscle tension or
stomach aches with no clearmedical cause.
Some people have changes inappetite or they get sick more

(07:41):
often because their immunesystem is run down.
You might even find yourselfshort of breath or having panic
attacks when something remindsyou of the stories you've heard.
The body basically says I'munder threat, even if you
personally are not, because ithas absorbed the sense of threat
from someone else's trauma.
You also might experiencebehavioral and relational

(08:03):
changes.
Vicarious trauma can also affecthow you behave and connect with
others.
You might start avoidingcertain situations or topics
because they remind you of thetraumatic material, for instance
, avoiding the news or avoidingconversations.
That could lead to hearingabout more pain, which isn't
necessarily a bad copingstrategy in moderation.

(08:25):
On the other hand, some peoplebecome hyper-engaged and trying
to help or fix things almostcompulsively, which can be a
sign of not being able to letthe trauma go.
You might withdraw from friendsor family, losing interest in
social activities so socialisolation because you feel
nobody understands what you'vewitnessed, or you just don't

(08:47):
have enough energy to engage.
Irritability and mood swingscan also strain your
relationships.
One moment you're okay, thenext you snap or break down
without an obvious reason.
It can be confusing for bothyou and your loved ones.
That's a lot of potentialeffects.
But the key takeaway isvicarious trauma can pervade all
aspects of our being ourthoughts, feelings, body and

(09:11):
relationships.
In severe cases, it can evenstart to look like
post-traumatic stress disorder.
In fact, experts note thatvicarious trauma often involves
symptoms very similar to PTSD,such as intrusive memories,
emotional numbing, avoidance ofreminders and hypervigilance.

(09:31):
The difference is that thesesymptoms come from indirect
exposure rather than somethingthat happened to you directly.
Before we continue, let's take amindful pause here.
We've been naming a lot ofheavy experiences.
Take a moment to notice yourbody right now.
Are your shoulders tense?
Is your breath shallow or fast?

(09:52):
If you feel comfortable, gentlyallow yourself to take a deep
breath.
Inhale deeply and slowlythrough the nose and exhale
slowly through the mouth.
You might even place a hand onyour heart or your belly and
just let yourself breathe for afew seconds.

(10:13):
It's not easy hearing abouttrauma, even secondhand, like
this, so give yourselfpermission in this pause to feel
whatever you feel.
It's okay.
If talking about these symptomsis stirring something in you,
maybe you're recognizing some ofthem in yourself.
Know that you're not alone andthat feeling this way doesn't

(10:34):
mean something is wrong with you.
It means you're human andyou've been open-hearted to
others' pain.
Your empathy is not a weakness.
It just needs some care andattention.
Your empathy is not a weakness.
It just needs some care andattention, which we'll be
getting into next, now that wehave a sense of what vicarious
trauma is and how it canmanifest.
You might be wondering how isthis different from other terms

(10:54):
like burnout or compassionfatigue.
These concepts are related andsometimes people use them
interchangeably, but there aresome nuances worth understanding
.
Burnout is usually talked aboutin the context of work and
chronic stress.
Burnout isn't specific totrauma.

(11:17):
Anyone in a high-pressure,emotionally draining situation
can burn out.
It's defined by deep exhaustion, feeling cynical or detached
from your work or the people youserve, and a sense of
inefficacy, like you're notaccomplishing anything or not
good at your job anymore.
Burnout often builds up fromoverwork, long-term stress and

(11:37):
lack of adequate rest or support.
If you're burnt out, you mightfeel mentally fried, irritable
and empty and empty and youmight start to dread going to
work or caring for others, notbecause of their trauma per se,
but because you're simplyexhausted and depleted.
Burnout can happen in anyprofession teachers, corporate

(11:57):
jobs, parenting, etc.
Not just in trauma-relatedfields.
It often improves if you take asubstantial break, reduce your
workload or change theenvironment causing the stress.
Compassion fatigue is a termthat is very close to vicarious
trauma.
Some experts use it tobasically mean the same thing as

(12:18):
secondary trauma, while othersuse it to specifically describe
the gradual lessening ofcompassion over time that can
happen to caregivers.
It's been described as the highcost of caring.
Compassion fatigue often showsup as emotional and physical
exhaustion, reduced empathy andfeeling numb or indifferent to

(12:38):
those you care for.
It's like your heart'sbatteries have run out.
If you've ever found yourselfsaying I just don't care anymore
, I'm too tired, that might becompassion fatigue.
Talking.
It tends to develop fromconstant exposure to others
suffering without adequaterecovery.
In essence, compassion fatigueis one facet of vicarious trauma

(12:59):
, specifically highlighting howyour capacity to care and
empathize can shut down whenit's overloaded.
So, putting it together,vicarious trauma is a broad term
for the changes that arepsychological, physical,
emotional and spiritual thathappen in you from absorbing
others' trauma.
Those changes can includethings like compassion fatigue,

(13:22):
losing empathy, and cancontribute to burnout, feeling
exhausted and ineffective.
One way to differentiate isvicarious trauma often refers to
the deep internal changes andtrauma-like symptoms that result
from secondary exposure.
For example, you might startleat loud noises or feel unsafe in

(13:43):
the world after working with atrauma survivor because you've
internalized their experience.
Compassion fatigue is moreabout what you feel toward
others.
You've cared so much for solong that you hit a wall and go
numb or distance.
Your compassion tank is empty,so to speak, and burnout can
happen with or without traumaexposure.

(14:03):
You're just exhausted,overworked and disengaged, often
due to systemic stress orworkload, and it can make you
cynical or depressed about yourjob.
Stress or workload and it canmake you cynical or depressed
about your job.
Burnout might make you lesseffective or less caring, but it
doesn't typically give younightmares or intrusive trauma
images.
That's where vicarious traumagoes beyond standard burnout.

(14:24):
It's also worth noting that thesolutions for burnout versus
vicarious trauma might differ abit.
Burnout might be solved by avacation or reducing workload,
for example, whereas vicarioustrauma and compassion fatigue
might require more targetedstrategies to process the trauma
content you've absorbed.

(14:44):
Of course they can all overlap.
Someone can be both burnt outand vicariously traumatized at
the same time, especially intough caregiving jobs.
But it's helpful to name theproblem correctly, because
someone who is mainly sufferingfrom vicarious trauma might step
away from work for a week andstill have nightmares or feel
unsafe, meaning the issue wasn'tjust too much work, it was the

(15:07):
unresolved trauma material theywere carrying.
We'll talk more about how toaddress that material in a
healthy way.
Let's ground this in a few moreeveryday examples to really
paint a picture of how vicarioustrauma can show up in different
walks of life.
You might hear these andrecognize yourself or someone
you know.
Imagine a psychotherapist whoworks with survivors of domestic

(15:31):
violence.
They've never been abusedthemselves yet, after years of
hearing story after story ofcruelty and betrayal, find
themselves feeling constantly onedge at home.
When they hear a sudden noise,their heart pounds.
They have dreams about clients'experiences.
They start to see strangers aspotential threats.
The therapist might even beginto feel hopeless, thinking is

(15:54):
there any place that's safe inthe world?
Their sense of safety and trusthas shifted because of
empathetic exposure to trauma.
This is classic vicarioustrauma.
Their worldview has changed andthey're showing trauma-like
stress responses.
Let's think about it from theperspective of a healthcare
worker or first responder.

(16:15):
Consider an emergency roomnurse who has treated many
accident victims.
He's skilled at staying calmduring a crisis, but lately he's
been having trouble sleepingand finds himself reimagining
the pain of the patients hecouldn't save.
He snaps at his family overlittle things and has become
emotionally distant.

(16:36):
When his teenage son wants togo on a road trip, the nurse
forbids it, overcome by fear forhis son's safety because of all
the tragedies he's seen.
In this case, the nurse'sconstant exposure to others'
trauma is leading to anxiety,irritability and
overprotectiveness.
He might also be edging intocompassion fatigue, feeling like

(17:00):
he can't just muster empathyfor yet another injured patient
which troubles him because hewants to care, but he's just so
worn out.
Now let's think of it from thelens of an activist who
tirelessly documents and speaksout against human trafficking.
She spends hours readingsurvivors' testimonies, watching

(17:21):
documentary footage andcampaigning for change.
Over time she notices shebecomes depressed and cynical.
She feels a deep rage at theworld and sometimes an
overwhelming sadness that hitsout of nowhere.
Little by little she's lost theability to feel joy, even on
the days off, because her mindis always pulled back to the

(17:41):
stories of suffering.
She might also feel guilty ifshe has a moment of happiness,
thinking how can I relax when somany are hurting?
This is vicarious trauma.
In the realm of advocacy, thework is meaningful, but it has
soaked her in trauma to thepoint that she's drowning in it.
Activists and reporters oftenexperience this.

(18:02):
Some reports note common signsin these roles include lingering
anger, sadness or even despairat the state of the world, as
well as physical stress andsymptoms.
Then if you imagine from theperspective of a world, as well
as physical stress and symptoms,then if you imagine from the
perspective of a caregiver or afamily member.
Imagine you have a close friendwho went through something
terrible, say a serious assaultor an accident.

(18:24):
You've been by their side,hearing all the details, helping
them through panic attacks at 2, 3 am, and maybe you're dealing
with medical or legal systemsas well.
Out of love, you've been deeplyinvolved in their recovery.
But now you find that you areanxious and hypervigilant.
You double-check the locks atnight more than you used to.
You feel emotionally exhaustedand maybe even a bit numb.

(18:47):
In social situations, you can'trelate to others who chat about
trivial things, because yourmind is occupied by what your
friend went through.
This is a case where being asupportive friend or family
member leads to a vicarioustrauma.
You weren't the direct victim,but you almost feel as if you
were.
And then let's think about themedia and news consumers.

(19:10):
Finally, consider an averageperson who, many like us, wakes
up and checks the news on theirphone Lately.
It seems like every day there'sa new tragedy, a new problem, a
natural disaster, a massshooting, airplanes crashing,
stories of refugees in crisis.
This person finds themselvesglued to the news, wanting to

(19:33):
stay informed and empathetic.
But after weeks and months ofthis, they start to notice
they're feeling depressed aboutthe world.
They have a constantundercurrent of anxiety and a
sense of doom.
They might have images from thenews pop into their head while
at work or trying to sleep.
Perhaps they've becomedesensitized to sleep.
Perhaps they've becomedesensitized Each new tragedy

(19:53):
numbs them a bit more or,conversely, each new tragedy
adds to a growing ball of griefin their chest.
This could very well bevicarious trauma via media
exposure.
In our connected era, many of usexperience a degree of this
without realizing it.
We carry the collective traumaof events we never personally

(20:16):
experienced simply because we'vewitnessed them through screens.
As we discussed, studiesconfirm that heavy exposure to
media coverage of traumaticevents can cause real stress
reactions, sometimes nearly asacute as being there.
Do any of these scenarios soundfamiliar to you?

(20:37):
If you're nodding your head,you're certainly not alone.
Vicarious trauma can affectanyone with a capacity for
empathy.
It's actually a testament tothe depth of your caring.
You hurt because you love,because you value life and
safety and justice, but you donot have to sacrifice your own
well-being in the process.
In fact, to keep being thecompassionate person you are,

(21:00):
you will need to take steps tocare for yourself, and that's
not selfish.
It's essential.
As the saying goes, you can'tpour from an empty cup.
If your empathetic cup isdrained or cracked from
vicarious trauma, we need torefill it and mend it.
So let's shift now to how wecan recognize vicarious trauma
in ourselves early and what wecan do to process and navigate

(21:22):
it in a healthy way.
One of the first steps torecognizing vicarious trauma in
yourself is simplyacknowledgement.
Often people going throughvicarious trauma don't realize
it.
You might think why am Ifeeling this way?
I have no right to be upset, itdidn't even happen to me.
Let's pause right there.
If you take one thing away fromthis episode, let it be

(21:44):
permission to acknowledge yourpain, even if it's secondhand.
Your feelings are valid.
Empathy doesn't requirepermission.
It's a natural response andsometimes it hurts.
So how do you know you'recarrying someone else's trauma?
Start by tuning into yourinternal signals, like those we
talked about.

(22:04):
Are you frequently exhaustedBeyond what a good sleep would
fix?
Do you find yourself tearful,angry or numb in ways that are
not usual for you?
Are you having thoughts orimages you wish you could unsee?
Are stories and problems thataren't personally yours
nonetheless weighing on you likea heavy backpack that you carry

(22:25):
everywhere?
These can all be signs thatyou've got some vicarious trauma
going on.
So I want you to ask yourselfgently what's affecting me
lately.
You might even journal aboutthis, sometimes writing out I've
been feeling X every since Iheard or saw Y can draw the
connection clearly.

(22:45):
For example, I haven't beensleeping well ever since I
watched the documentary aboutthe war.
Or I've been really anxiousabout my kids after working on
that child abuse case at my job.
Drawing the line from effect tocause I feel this way, possibly
because of the experience Iwitnessed is a powerful
realization.

(23:06):
It externalizes the issue a bit.
Instead of something's wrongwith me, you realize oh, I was
affected by that traumatic story.
This realization itself ishelpful because it reduces
self-blame and confusion.
Another thing to recognize isthat vicarious trauma can sneak
up gradually.

(23:26):
It's not only one big event,though.
It can be, as in seeing asingular horrific news event.
More often it's cumulative.
The hundredth hard story is theone that makes you break down,
even if story number 99 didn't.
So if you're in a role or lifesituation with continued
exposure to other struggles,make it a habit to check in with

(23:50):
yourself regularly.
Don't wait until you're at abreaking point.
Ask on a weekly or even dailybasis how am I doing?
Am I carrying stress that's notoriginally mine?
What's the state of my heartand mind today?
And remember, if you identifythat you are experiencing
vicarious trauma, it's not asign of weakness or that you're

(24:11):
bad at your work or toosensitive.
In fact, it's a sign that youhave been strong and
compassionate for others.
Your mind and body are justtelling you that it's time to
care for you now.
All right, now let's talk abouthealing, coping and navigating
forward.
We've painted perhaps adaunting picture of vicarious
trauma's weight, but there is ahopeful side.

(24:33):
There are many ways to addressit, lighten that load and even
grow stronger through theprocess.
Just as physical wounds canheal, emotional and vicarious
wounds can heal too, especiallywhen we tend to them with
intention.
In fact, people sometimes findthat working with trauma, even
indirectly, they gain wisdom,empathy and resilience they

(24:56):
never had before.
But to get to that point, wehave to process the trauma and
take care of ourselves.
We can think of coping in threephases Recognize, process and
navigate.
We've already coveredrecognizing, seeing and
admitting what's going on.
Next comes processing whatyou're feeling and then
navigating life, going forwardwith tools and boundaries that

(25:18):
protect your well-being.
Let's delve into supportivestrategies in a practical way.
I want you to first giveyourself space to feel when you
realize you've been affected byothers' trauma.
One of the healthiest thingsyou can do is allow yourself to
process those feelings in a safeway.
That might mean talking it outwith someone you trust, maybe a

(25:40):
friend, a partner, a supportgroup or a therapist.
Simply telling someone I'mreally impacted by what I heard
and naming the emotions sadness,fear, anger, etc can be a huge
relief.
Humans are social creatures.
Sharing our emotional burdensusually makes them lighter.
If you don't feel like talkingor you don't have someone you

(26:02):
feel comfortable sharing with,journaling is another excellent
outlet.
Write down what's on your mind.
You can write a letter younever send, expressing all your
anger at the injustices you'veseen or all your sorrow for the
people who are hurting.
The page can hold it for you,so you don't have to hold it

(26:24):
alone in your heart.
Some people process indirectlythrough art, music or movement.
You might draw or paint whatyou're feeling, even if you're
not an artist.
Listen to music that matchesyour mood and let yourself cry.
Or listen to music that liftsyour mood to help you shift
state.
If you like to sing or play aninstrument, pour your feelings

(26:45):
into that Dance or just shakeyour body.
Actually, shaking can beremarkably therapeutic.
Many animals literally shakefor a few minutes after a
life-threatening event todischarge the adrenaline.
We humans can do somethingsimilar after absorbing
stressful stories Stand up,shake it off, do a whole body

(27:05):
wiggle or shake out your limbs.
It might feel silly, but it canhelp release tension and reset
your nervous system.
You might want to try somesomatic movement.
I'll put some information andresources in the show notes for
you.
Sometimes the weight ofvicarious trauma is too much to
unpack on your own, and that isabsolutely okay.
Consider talking to atrauma-informed therapist,

(27:28):
particularly one that is ananti-oppressive and culturally
responsive.
So if you feel you're reallystruggling, the therapists are
trained to help exactly withthis sort of thing.
In fact, they themselves oftenhave to process their own
vicarious trauma with peers ormentors.
There are specific therapyapproaches, like trauma-focused

(27:49):
CBT, emdr and somatic therapiesand more, that can help release
trauma that's lodged in yourmind and body.
Even a short series of therapysessions can teach you coping
tools and give you a safe spaceto unload the hardest parts of
what you've been carrying.
Think of it like seeing aphysiotherapist for a sprained

(28:11):
ankle.
If your psyche is sprained fromempathetic strain, a therapist
can help to heal it correctly.
There is truly no shame inseeking help.
It's an act of wisdom andstrength.
After you've begun to processthe emotions, it's important to
cultivate ongoing habits andboundaries that will protect you
from further harm and rebuildyour resilience.

(28:33):
Here's some strategies andpractices for navigating
vicarious trauma in a healthyway.
Set healthy boundaries.
This is huge.
Boundaries are like themembrane, to borrow from our
podcast metaphor, that lets inwhat nourishes you and keeps out
what harms you.
If you're a helper by nature,you might feel guilty setting

(28:55):
limits, but remember boundariesare not walls, they are healthy
filters.
In practice, setting boundariesmight mean limiting your
exposure to traumatic content.
If you're finding the news istriggering, you give yourself
permission to take a media breakor curate what you watch.
For example, stick to readingheadlines in the morning for 10

(29:17):
minutes instead of watchinghours of live footage.
If you're in a helpingprofession, boundaries might
mean not taking work home withyou, for example, avoiding
checking work email at night orhaving a ritual for mentally
closing the day.
It's also okay to say no or notright now to taking on

(29:38):
additional emotional labor whenyou're at capacity.
If a friend calls to vent abouttheir troubles and you're
feeling drained, it's kind toyourself and ultimately to them
to sometimes say I'm so sorry Iam not in a good place to listen
deeply today.
Can we talk tomorrow?
I'm so sorry I am not in a goodplace to listen deeply today.
Can we talk tomorrow or directthem to another support At work?

(30:01):
It could mean speaking up to asupervisor about needing
rotation off particularlytraumatic cases if possible, or
at least taking a personal dayto decompress.
Boundaries also apply internally.
Remember yourself you are notresponsible for saving everyone
or fixing everything.

(30:21):
You can care deeply withoutcarrying everything.
Visualize setting down a heavybag of stones, each stone being
someone else's story, and remindyourself that it's not your job
to carry all of that all thetime.
Next, I want you to prioritizerest and self-care.
Rest is not a luxury.

(30:43):
It's a necessity, especiallywhen you're dealing with
vicarious trauma.
Trauma, direct or indirect,keeps our nervous system on high
alert.
Rest and sleep are what helpbring it back to baseline.
Make sure you are getting goodsleep as best you can.
This might involve practicinggood sleep hygiene.
I talk about this more inepisode 12.

(31:05):
Like limiting screen timebefore bed, creating a soothing
bedtime routine or usingrelaxation techniques to help
you wind down Beyond sleep.
Think about regular downtime inyour day or week Schedule
breaks and honor them.
This could be short breaks,like stepping outside for five

(31:25):
minutes of fresh air and gentlestretching during a tough work
day and longer breaks, liketaking a day off or a weekend
off from any heavy content.
Engage in activities thatrecharge you.
Maybe that's reading acomforting book, watching a
funny movie Laughter is medicineCooking a nice meal or spending

(31:46):
time on a hobby.
Physical self-care is reallyimportant too, so try to eat
nourishing foods, stay hydratedand get some movement, exercise,
because these all improve yourbody's resilience to stress.
Remember, the nurse is ourexample.
If he takes some vacation days,gets extra sleep, maybe does

(32:06):
some exercise or therapy, hissymptoms can improve
significantly.
Burnout and vicarious traumaboth are alleviated by rest and
replenishment of your depletedenergies.
Next, I want you to practiceembodiment and grounding.
Trauma can pull us out of ourbodies.
We get stuck in our head.
Conversely, we feeldisconnected from our bodies,

(32:28):
like numb or in a daze.
Embodiment practices are thingsthat help us come back into
your body in a safe, gentle wayand help your nervous system
feel grounded in the presentmoment.
Examples of this includemindful breathing exercises,
meditation, yoga or gentlestretching, and also progressive
muscle relaxation, or evensimple things like taking a hot

(32:50):
bath and feeling the warmth, orwalking barefoot on grass and
feeling the earth under you.
These practices send signals toyour brain that right now, in
this moment, you are safe.
They can lower that chronicstress response.
Let's try a quick groundingexercise together, if you're up
for it.
Look around and let's find fivethings you can see right now

(33:12):
and then four things you canfeel, like the texture of your
clothes or the chair under you.
Then three things you can hear,two things you can smell and
one thing you can taste, even ifit's just lingering taste of
coffee or toothpaste.
We've talked about this inprevious episodes, but this is
called the 5-4-3-2-1 groundingtechnique and it's a handy

(33:32):
sensory exercise and tool thatcan help in moments of overwhelm
.
Practices like these help youshift your focus to the here and
now, into your body.
Interrupting spinning anxiousthoughts and, over time,
regularly doing mindfulness orother body-centered practices
can increase your overallresilience.
It's like training your body toknow how to relax and release

(33:55):
tension.
Research shows that relaxationtechniques, even simple deep
breathing, can reduce symptomsof traumatic stress by calming
the sympathetic nervous system,which is the fight or flight
response.
I also want you to connect withsupport and community.
Know that you're not alone,even if you want to just text

(34:16):
the show and talk to us you can.
Vicarious trauma can make usfeel very isolated, like we're
carrying a dark secret or likeno one gets it.
But many people have beenthrough this and sharing with
others can be profoundly healing.
Consider joining a peer supportgroup, if one is available for
your situation.
For example, some professionshave regular debriefing groups

(34:39):
and there are support groups forcaregivers and activists and
beyond.
If a formal group isn'tavailable, even informally
talking with colleagues orfriends who do similar work can
help.
Sometimes just hearing I feltthat way too from someone else
can lift a huge burden of guiltor weirdness you might feel
about your reactions.

(35:00):
Community care can also meanletting others take care of you.
Sometimes the activists in ourexample might benefit from
spending time with fellowactivists, not just to work but
to heal together.
Maybe they organize a wellnesscircle or just grab dinner and
talk about how the work isaffecting them emotionally,
sharing coping strategies andeven humor.

(35:21):
Yes, sometimes dark humorsurfaces among helpers as a
coping mechanism.
This can create a sense ofsolidarity.
Beyond talking, community caremight be tangible support.
Maybe a friend can watch yourkids for an afternoon to give
you a break, or a co-worker canswap a shift or your partner
gives you a long hug and listenswhile you vent.

(35:42):
Let yourself receive the carefrom others just as you give.
You deserve it just as much asanyone else.
I also want you to cultivateself-compassion.
This one is more of an innerpractice, but it's very
important.
Often people are experiencingvicarious trauma and they might
criticize themselves for nothandling it better or for being

(36:05):
too sensitive.
Try to catch those thoughts andflip them into a compassionate,
understanding voice.
Treat yourself with the samekindness you would treat a dear
friend who was going throughthis.
Remember yourself that it'sokay not to be okay sometimes.
It's also okay to need help.
It's okay to prioritizeyourself, and one practical

(36:27):
exercise is to literally say orwrite kind words to yourself.
For example, I've been goingthrough a lot by caring for
others.
It makes sense that I'm tired.
I deserve rest, or my empathyis a gift, but it's also heavy.
I'm allowed to set it down whenI need to.
By affirming that your feelingsare valid and that you deserve

(36:49):
care, you counteract theinternal pressure to just tough
it out.
Self-compassion breaks thecycle of guilt and lets healing
in.
Sometimes, self-compassioninvolves letting go of
unrealistic standards.
Maybe you feel you have to saveeveryone, or you have to be
strong all the time.
Acknowledge you're human.
Even heroes need to pause andtend to their wounds.

(37:13):
Next, I want you to focus onmeaning and positive, so reframe
the experience.
Trauma, direct or vicarious, canmake the world seem bleak, so
it's important to also remindyourself of the goodness that
still exists and the positiveimpact of your caring.
This isn't about ignoring thebad.
It's about Maybe one person youhelped is doing better, or your

(37:35):
advocacy led to even a minorchange.
Celebrate those.
Remind yourself why you do thisand the values that drive you.
Many find it helpful to keep agratitude journal or simply take

(37:57):
a moment each day to note a fewthings that are going right or
that you appreciate A friendlyco-worker, a beautiful sunset, a
piece of music that moved you.
This isn't about toxicpositivity applied to the trauma
, but to ensure that the traumaisn't all you see.
If you've been consuming a lotof bad news, make an effort to

(38:19):
also seek out stories of hopeand resilience.
There are people healing,communities rebuilding and
helpers making a difference.
In fact, sometimes witnessinghow people overcome adversity
can instill a sense of vicariousresilience in us, a term that
therapists use for the positiveimpact of seeing others
strengthen recovery.
For example, a counselor mightfeel inspired and strengthened

(38:43):
by seeing a client heal overtime.
An activist might feel hopeafter a loss passed that they
fought for.
Notice these uplifting moments.
They are the antidotes todespair, and I also want you to
engage in activities thatempower you.
One reason vicarious trauma canhit us so hard is the feeling of

(39:05):
powerlessness Seeing awfulthings happen and maybe feeling
like you can't change them.
The strategy to combat that isto do something, however small,
that gives you a sense of agency.
That could be volunteering ordonating to a cause related to
the trauma you witnessed, in ameasured way, though that
doesn't re-traumatize you, ofcourse.

(39:26):
For example, if you're hauntedby news of a disaster, maybe you
contribute to a relief fund orhelp organize supplies a small
action that tells your brain Iam actively helping, not just
passively suffering.
If you're affected by afriend's ordeal, maybe you
channel your feelings intoorganizing a supportive gesture

(39:46):
or raising awareness, beingmindful not to overextend here.
The idea is to empower, not toheat more on your plate, but
doing something proactive cantransform some of that helpless
anguish into purposeful energy.
It reminds you that even in theface of large problems.
You are not helpless.

(40:07):
Lastly, I want to emphasize ifyou ever feel like the weight of
vicarious trauma or any stressis leading to thoughts of
hopelessness or self-harm,please reach out for
professional help immediately.
Information can be found in theshow notes.
Crisis counselors, therapistsand helplines like the 988

(40:29):
Suicide and Crisis Lifeline inthe US, are there for you,
judgment-free.
Sometimes, vicarious trauma canfuel depression or traumatic
stress to the point where youneed urgent support.
There is absolutely no shame inthat, and you matter and help
is available.
We've covered a lot of ground,from understanding what

(40:49):
vicarious trauma is torecognizing its signs,
differentiating it from burnoutand compassion fatigue, and
exploring strategies to cope andheal.
By now, I hope one message isloud and clear your empathy and
caring nature, while it cancause you pain, is ultimately a
strength.
Vicarious trauma happensbecause we allow ourselves to

(41:11):
connect with others and to love.
The world truly needs empathyand caring people like you, and
to sustain that empathy, youneed to care for yourself with
the same fervor and tendernessthat you care for others.
In trauma work, there's aconcept known as vicarious
resilience that idea that, alongwith absorbing pain, caregivers

(41:33):
and witnesses can also absorbstrength and inspiration from
those they help For instance,seeing a trauma survivor find
meaning in life again or acommunity rebuild after a
tragedy can infuse you with hopeand a sense of purpose.
Try to notice those moments ofresilience.
Let them touch you as deeply asthe pain does.
Every story of trauma you carrymight also have a story of

(41:55):
courage or recovery attached.
Focus on those parts too, andlet them give you strength.
As we wrap up, let's take onemore mindful moment together, if
you're able, gently close youreyes, if that's comfortable, or
soften your gaze.
Take a slow breath in throughthe nose and out through the

(42:16):
mouth.
Feel your feet on the ground oryour body supported in your
seat.
You are here in the present.
You are safe in this moment.
All the people whose storieshave weighed on you.
Imagine gently setting thosestories down.
You're not throwing them awayor forgetting them.

(42:37):
You're just placing them on ashelf for now, allowing yourself
to rest.
You can be compassionate withoutcarrying the full burden 24-7.
Picture yourself surrounded bya warm light or maybe a kind of
protective membrane.
There's that membrane themeagain that filters in love and

(42:58):
support from others and filtersout the toxicity of trauma that
isn't yours.
You can still see and careabout suffering, but with a
healthy boundary that says I canwitness and help, but I don't
have to absorb this into my body.
When you're ready, take anotherdeep breath and slowly open

(43:18):
your eyes, bringing yourattention back to the room.
Slowly open your eyes, bringingyour attention back to the room
.
Thank you for sharing thisspace with me today.
I know today's topic was heavierthan most, but it's such an
important one.
If you're dealing withvicarious trauma, I want you to
know you're not alone and thathealing is possible by
recognizing it and taking thesteps.

(43:39):
We talked about settingboundaries, getting rest and
taking the steps.
We talked about settingboundaries, getting rest,
leaning on support, groundingyourself and seeking help when
needed.
You can find balance again.
You can continue to care deeplywithout losing yourself.
In fact, you might find thatcaring for yourself makes you
even more effective supportingothers in the long run.

(43:59):
Be patient and gentle withyourself as you put these ideas
into practice.
Healing and replenishment taketime, just as it took time for
vicarious trauma to build up.
Celebrate small victories theday you finally sleep better, or
the moment you watch the newsand notice I'm okay, I can turn
this off and it's fine, or whenyou help someone and later are

(44:23):
still able to laugh at a funnyjoke or enjoy a walk, realizing
the sorrow didn't swallow you.
Those moments show that you arebuilding resilience.
Before we close, I invite youto carry one affirmation with
you my well-being matters.
Taking care of myself is avital part of caring for others,

(44:43):
because it truly is.
When you are well yourcompassion can shine without
burning you out.
It becomes a steady lightrather than a scorching flame.
Thank you for listening to thisepisode of Reframing the
Membrane.
I hoped it offered you someinsight, validation and useful
strategies regarding vicarioustrauma.

(45:05):
If you found this episodehelpful, feel free to share it
with others in your life whomight be experiencing similar
stress.
Sometimes, just having a namefor what you're going through
and knowing it's a real thingcan be a huge relief and a first
step toward healing.
Until next time, take good careof you.
Remember that you can holdcompassion for others and for

(45:28):
yourself.
Both are necessary and both aredeserved.
Be well, and I look forward toreconnecting in our next episode
.
You are not alone and you'redoing the best you can, and that
is enough.
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