July 29, 2025 • 28 mins
What happens when God breaks through our masks of performance and anxiety? When 23-year-old Cam Escalante arrived at Texas State University, she was convinced she'd made a mistake and desperately wanted to transfer schools. Little did she know that God had orchestrated this season to completely transform her understanding of belonging, community, and authentic faith.
In this heartfelt conversation with Denise Jackson, Cam vulnerably shares her journey from crippling anxiety to genuine joy. The turning point came when friends at Crosstalk college ministry noticed her distress and surrounded her with unconditional acceptance, telling her she didn't need to pretend things were okay when they weren't. This simple yet profound moment of community began dismantling years of self-protection and performance-based identity.
Cam's testimony weaves together remarkable stories of God's specific provision throughout her life – from miraculously receiving pizza as a hungry middle schooler after a simple prayer, to now serving at Camp Eagle, the very place where she first personally encountered Jesus at age ten. The beautiful full-circle nature of her story demonstrates God's intricate involvement in our journeys.
For anyone struggling with anxiety, perfectionism, or the need for approval, Cam offers transformative wisdom: "You don't have to earn affection. You don't have to strive anymore. You don't have to perform or pretend to belong." Her message reminds us that we are both "called and kept" by God – nothing we do or don't do changes His unfailing love for us.
Listen as Cam shares how finding true community changed everything and learn how you too can experience freedom from the exhausting cycle of performance and discover the joy that comes from simply being loved.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Denise Jackson (00:01):
Okay, missy, so welcome to Rooted in Rising
Growth from the Greenhouse.
I'm so excited.
Today I'm Denise Jackson, yourhost, and I'm excited to welcome
one of my friends, camEscalante, and we're going to
just be talking about Cam's lifeand lessons, and I'm really
(00:24):
excited to have her.
She's an amazing 23-year-oldwoman who loves the Lord and
seeks Him every day and servesHim, and God's done some mighty
things in her life at a reallyyoung age, and so I hope it
encourages you and you enjoy ourconversation.
Cam Escalante (00:43):
Thanks for having me.
I'm really excited, veryhonored.
You're a dear friend and youjust light up the room,
everything you do so how did wemeet?
Denise Jackson (00:52):
Really good to know each other.
Cam Escalante (00:53):
Yeah, I mean, I feel like we saw each other in
passing at Cypress for a longtime and I think my first
memories of you, Denise, are inprayer meetings or prayer rooms
and just hearing your likeagreement of yes, father, like
yeah, and just the excitementand just the love that you had
for God.
So verbally all the time.
That's my first memories of you, but I think we really got to
(01:14):
know each other this past summerin Mexico.
We went on that trip together.
Denise Jackson (01:19):
We went on a mission trip to Mexico.
We had so much fun and, yeah, Ithink that's when I got to know
you a little bit better andactually, I've gotten to know
you a lot better, even today aswe've talked about our lives and
the similarities of our lives.
Yeah, it's been so cool, solike right now you're finished
with college.
Cam Escalante (01:39):
I'm finished with college.
Denise Jackson (01:41):
And how is that like journey through college?
What's your degree inCommunication Studies Okay, with
college.
And how is that like journeythrough college?
What's your degree inCommunication studies, Okay?
Cam Escalante (01:46):
Um, I've been doing on and off grad school
through Dallas Baptist.
I've actually felt very calledrecently to just put a pause on
it.
Um, for a couple of reasons,and the main thing is, um, it's
there's so much going on in thisseason and while, like, getting
that degree it's in ministryeducation leadership has been
really cool, that degree it's inministry education leadership
has been really cool Um, it'salso very expensive and it just
(02:09):
takes up so much of my resources.
Um, like mentally and moneywise and time wise and just with
um, everything I'm doing rightnow, I've felt more conviction
to plug in locally and pour outfrom there, and so I do want to
finish my degree eventually.
I think it's a cool degree, butit's also to do what I'm doing
right now.
Denise Jackson (02:29):
So you know it's so it's just honing.
It's honing the skills.
Cam Escalante (02:32):
And God will do that.
I'm going to pull open the doorfor that when the time is right,
yeah but my undergrad was incommunication studies and, yeah,
wow, I feel like I could unpacka lot there with just my
experience with college.
But I came to Texas State in2019 and my very first thoughts
(02:52):
of Texas State were that I hatedit and I wanted to transfer and
I didn't think I was going tobe staying at Texas State at all
.
And I originally was coming toTexas State because, I told you,
I did theater in high schooland I love theater I still do
but I originally was coming tobe a theater major.
(03:13):
And then I felt just like ledaway from doing that the summer
going into, well, really, springsemester, my senior year, going
into summer of my freshman year.
So I had changed my degree tocommunication studies and, as
you know, I was thinking aboutand praying through like, should
I switch?
I just felt very led away fromtheater.
(03:35):
Then I started to question,well, should I go to Texas state
?
Um, you know, should I juststay home?
And Tyler, and, candidly,another piece of that was I was
dating a boy who was from Tylerum, and I just really didn't
want to leave Tyler um, the, andso I came to Texas State.
I was like, well, I'm notstaying here.
(03:56):
I'm gonna move somewhere closerto East Texas I can see my
boyfriend.
Denise Jackson (04:00):
Yes, so I can, which is like super normal for
super normal, super normal.
Cam Escalante (04:05):
And also so I think there was a subconscious.
I'm not going to try that hardlike to find friends here, even
though I was like you know I'lldo my best, but in that first
semester I was like I can't findanybody who is like you know,
going to be my friend and nobodyhas similar interests or likes
or values as me was not true atall, but not true at all.
(04:26):
So I ended up finding crosstalkmy freshman that first semester
and um tell them aboutcrosstalk, just because lots of
people might not know.
Yeah, yeah um, crosstalk is acollege ministry at Texas State
University where I go to schoolor went to school, and it's um
kind of the daughter ministry ofthe church we go to, which,
which is Cypress Creek Church.
Cypress started in 1993.
(04:48):
Crosstalk started in 1994.
So they're really hand in handand it's exclusive to Texas
State University.
I'm sure there's otherministries called Crosstalk, but
the one with Cypress is atTexas State.
Denise Jackson (05:07):
Crosstalk is and so has so crosstalk changed.
Cam Escalante (05:08):
some things for you oh yeah, oh my gosh, I, I
can't believe that.
I.
I work for crosstalk now, alsofor contacts, like I work for
Cypress.
And so if you would have toldme my freshman year that when I
was really convinced I wanted totransfer schools and hated
Texas State that I wouldeventually End up serving with
(05:29):
the ministry, I completely wouldnot have believed you and nor
would I have wanted to.
So I cross talk gave me myfriendships.
I mean so many friends that Imade and cross talk like I've
been in their weddings andthey're they're my best friends
to this day, and the mentorshipand the leadership that I found
(05:50):
within cross talk and Cyprus isnothing short of miraculous and
life-changing.
Denise Jackson (05:54):
Like, truly, I would not be who I am.
Well, that's why God tells uswe're not.
You know, we need to not bealone, we need to be where we
can be fed and where we can beconnected, and that was your
community group.
That was where you guys reallyshared your hearts 100%.
Cam Escalante (06:12):
That's awesome, yeah, and god himself is
communal it's father, son, holyspirit.
So why?
Who have been in relationshipsince before the beginning of
time and for all eternity?
So if god created us as areflection of himself and
community, then why do wesometimes think that we can get
away from not being in community?
Denise Jackson (06:33):
Or that he's so far away from us.
Yeah, like an ever-present help.
Yeah, like he's promised.
Cam Escalante (06:37):
Yeah, and we talk a lot at Cypress about belong,
and I think it's twofold,because we do belong to Jesus
first, but it's a horizontalbelong and also like a vertical
belong.
Oh, I love that, like we belong.
Denise Jackson (06:52):
I mean belong and also like a vertical belong.
Oh, I love that, like we belong.
I don't really talk about that,but just do that as you're
saying that.
I just see that like I've beenthinking that you know, I'm
rooted and grounded in the loveof god through christ jesus,
yeah, and I'm supposed to spreadmy branches, yeah, and be a
place of rest and hope andsecurity for others that he
brings into my life.
Cam Escalante (07:12):
So I really just love how that we're spreading
now I feel like that, yeah, it's, it's really, it's beautiful,
and we actually just talkedabout this in my community group
last night too.
So it's kind of funny how itjust came up again.
But, um, yeah, crosstalk, Igreater are the things that god
has for us that we can ask,imagine or fathom.
(07:35):
So that is definitely like alot of my story with crosstalk,
and I was I've heard jose talkabout this before too because
our pastor, he helps withcrosstalk and I really feel like
you know, I owe my life tojesus, but I feel like I owe my
life to crosstalk Like I want tospend.
Denise Jackson (07:52):
Yeah that was one of those defining moments in
your life.
Cam Escalante (07:56):
Yeah, and pour it back into so just talking about
that.
Denise Jackson (08:00):
Were there any times after you got in crosstalk
where you just had some greatneeds and you really needed God
to intervene or to or you didn'teven think you needed anything
but he intervened just to remindyou that he was right there?
Cam Escalante (08:18):
Yeah, um, first thing that comes to mind is when
I first got to college, I wasfilled with so much anxiety and
crippling, crippling anxiety.
And I just remember my freshmanyear, specifically that first
semester.
I was having panic attacks allthe time, all the time, like I
(08:44):
remember almost.
I think I almost passed out oneday because I was breathing so
heavily and likehyperventilating, and it just
was truly like riddling my lifeand crippling my life, and it
was something that I just didn'tknow Jesus could give me
freedom from.
it was kind of one of thosethings where I was like, well,
(09:04):
this is just the way I am thisis just who I am yeah, and I
feel like I just accepted it asa part of me, and Do you think
that there was a responsibleparty that was contributing to
your anxiety?
Yeah, I think there was a fewthings going on in my life at
that time.
Denise Jackson (09:23):
I'm just thinking spiritually, like Satan
was all over you.
Yeah, because you know, lookwhat he would have stopped if
you had quit.
Look what he would have stopped.
And so he wants to do that heloves to destroy.
Yeah, he does anxiety is likehis weapon.
It's not god's because.
What does he say?
Yeah yeah, haven't been given aspirit of fear, but power, love
(09:45):
and so on, but you didn't knowit yeah and um, so I, I just I
truly didn't know that jesuscould give me freedom from that
and more than that that I couldhave a life free from anxiety.
Cam Escalante (09:58):
But I I didn't really talk about it with anyone
, I didn't share with anyone, Ijust let it cripple me until I
remember one night I could notstop like hyperventilating, I
was crying, and I'm very muchlike someone where I wear my
heart on my sleeve, like I'm avery external processor, I
verbally process things and Ilike I just have to get stuff
(10:22):
out Like I can't like, and Ithink that's really a gift from
God too, that like my body keepsthe score in that way.
But I it was one Thursday and Icould not even bring myself to
get out of my room and um, but I, I was like I want to go to
crosstalk, I want to go tocrosstalk.
And I was back and forth likeno, I can't go.
No, I should go.
No, I can't go, I can't letthem see me like this.
(10:45):
And so I in my mind I was like,okay, I've pulled myself
together enough.
You know, kind of pick yourselfup by your bootstraps, like,
get it together so you can showyour face to everyone.
And I walked we were havingcross talk in the middle of the
campus that day, outside, and Iremember walking up my that fall
semester and I made eye contactwith some people who I had been
(11:08):
friends with and made friendswith, and they just immediately
knew like something was wrong.
And so making eye contact withthem, you know, when you're
having a bad day and somebodyasks you are you okay?
and it's just yeah, floodgatesare open yep and one of them
said are you okay?
And I remember just losing likesobbing in the quad that day.
(11:31):
And then immediately being metwith like three or four girls
who just surrounded me andhugged me and loved me, um, for
exactly where I was at andexactly who I was, and told me
that I didn't need to pretendthat things were okay if they
weren't and that God just wantedmy heart and wanted me to be
(11:53):
honest.
And so I immediately felt aweight just lifted off of me and
I worshipped at crosstalk.
But I think in that time too, Ithink I just didn't know that
it was a joy that I didn't needto pretend about, because I had
always.
You know, this is a whole otherthing too, but when I was
younger, I was very shy and veryquiet and almost kind of marked
(12:17):
by like sadness a little bit,and, um, that wasn't who I was
in Christ, but it's just how Iprotected myself, it's just how
I like shielded myself from allof the hurt and harm that I was
like this could come my way,this is how I need to protect
myself.
And then, the more that Godbegan to uncover and peel off
(12:38):
those layers of self-relianceand self-protection, um, I just
became more of who I am today.
But even in that, to a certainpoint, in like probably senior
year, um, when I was told youknow, you're joyful, you're, you
have this happiness about you,I was like, okay, that's just
what I need to pretend to be atall times, even if I'm not
(12:58):
feeling that.
And so I think I, in my freshmanyear of college, really just
put on this mask of this is whoI need to project myself to be,
and just an image, perception,perception management type of
thing, rather than having themindset of this is a joy that I
don't need to pretend about.
I just need to abide with thefather and trust that the
(13:21):
whoever he's made me to be isgoing to naturally overflow from
that and and we see that and oh, thank you.
And so, anyway, that's oneinstance where I really feel
like I was so just engulfed andencapsulated by anxiety and
pretending and performance anddoing it like OK, god, this is
(13:45):
to glorify you in thinking yeah,and then I'm going to just put
the mask on so that I can appearthat yes, okay, yeah, yeah, and
that you had.
Denise Jackson (13:55):
You know that he positioned those girls at that
time and that they weresensitive to the spirit, to
recognize that you needed to bereached out to in that moment
and he just broke apart thatmask yeah I loved.
Cam Escalante (14:09):
Yeah, it was definitely a defining moment for
me in crosstalk.
Denise Jackson (14:14):
So, uh, when you were young, um, you had some
insecurities just in life and umyou told me the story about the
peanut butter, the peanutbutter uh the peanut butter.
Cam Escalante (14:26):
Yeah, um, I so when I was in younger, in middle
school, um, there were somedays where I just didn't have
lunch for whatever reason, orlike, didn't have money to buy
lunch, and so the the story withthat is I would bring a jar of
peanut butter to school and Iwould just eat peanut butter
(14:46):
with a spoon, and it gave mewhat I needed.
Denise Jackson (14:50):
you know it did, but it was probably something
that was hard for you in thatmoment but God provided.
Even then I told you it's gotprotein, you can stay alive.
Fats your brain was stilldeveloping.
Cam Escalante (15:06):
It was good, but it's hard.
Denise Jackson (15:08):
It was hard.
And then you went to school oneday and they were giving away
pizza to some people whose nameswere drawn.
Yeah, so tell that story.
Cam Escalante (15:18):
Yeah, I went to school this one day and they
were giving away pizzas.
I think it was for like afundraiser or something.
It was, like you know, one ofthose fun weeks in school where
they were doing like pizzaparties and like whoever made or
sold the most cookie dough orsomething, you got this and so
they were doing all kinds ofpromotions for it and they're
giving away those pizzas in thecafeteria for free.
(15:38):
And they didn't have a lot ofpizzas, to my knowledge, but we
could put in our names, um, intothis little raffle and if our
name was drawn we got a freepizza.
And so I'm hungry.
I don't have lunch, I don'teven think I had a jar of peanut
butter this day, to be honest.
But I remember thinking, okay,I'll just put my name in the
(15:59):
raffle.
You know, worst case scenario,I don't get a pizza.
And the girl sitting across fromme her name was Delicia Delicia
Rowland, but she was sittingacross from me and she had put
her name in as well, and thenher name got called over the
speaker right.
And so I'm like, like I justshut.
I'm like why did she get apizza?
(16:20):
What?
Like that's crazy.
And I go to a pretty big middleschool, like there's a lot of
kids in the cafeteria and so shecomes back, she sits down and I
even asked her.
I was like why?
I was like how'd you get thatKind of joking?
But like how'd you get a pizza?
Like that's not fair.
And me, and she was like Iprayed, and to me, when I was at
(16:51):
that age, I just was like noway you just prayed and then God
just gave you a pizza like thatis crazy.
and she was, like it happened, Idid.
And so I thought, okay, youknow, I'll just I'll try that,
like I'll just pray and I'lljust see what happens.
I'll just talk to God and lethim know what's going on, and
I'll just I'll try that, likeI'll just pray and I'll just see
what happens, I'll just talk toGod and let him know what's
going on.
And so I prayed, just to myselfand pretty much like right when
I finished the prayer,immediately they called my name
(17:15):
over the speaker and then I waslike so I love those stories
because I think that you know heso does want a relationship
with us.
Denise Jackson (17:26):
Yeah, he wants us to know his love.
Yeah his intentionality and wehave stories like that in our
lives, walking through somethings.
You have stories like that.
I believe you guys have storiesout there where God just
reached down and met that needimmediately because you needed
(17:48):
to know that he is God.
And if you haven't had those,ask him, because that's all it
takes.
If you're in a situation rightnow and you need God, he is
waiting to do for you what hehas done for us through our
lives.
He just reached out and showthat he is right, here with us
(18:10):
all the time and he loves us.
So you're with Crosstalk rightnow on staff.
And you have another storywhere you went to camp when you
were 10 and now you're at thatsame camp every summer right,
(18:32):
yeah some summers.
But talk about those stories,because it's so cool how he's
ordered your steps throughoutthis.
Like you said earlier, you cannever earlier.
Yeah, he could imagine.
Cam Escalante (18:44):
Yeah, you can't imagine yeah, and it's funny
because the camp that I wassaved at when I was 10 is called
Camp Eagle, and I forgot tomention this to you earlier.
But one of the girls I met upwith earlier, um, she's going to
be a sophomore and she's goingto be um a counselor at Camp
(19:05):
Eagle this summer too, and so,um, camp Eagle is a place that
has just grown.
It's very special to my heart,and the old college pastor, like
he, came from Camp Eagle, andso did his wife and I go there,
you know, sometimes with Cypress, and I just see how
miraculously God is using thatplace out in the whole country.
(19:26):
But the story with that is whenI was 10 I grew up in East
Texas, so I'm in Tyler.
At the time I'm 10 and for somereason that year and it was
like the first year we had evergone to Camp Eagle- like I
remember them showing a video.
They were like we've gone to adifferent camp in the past but
we heard about Camp Eagle and wewere like, oh, we have to try
(19:49):
this place.
But it's like eight hours awayfrom Tyler and so I think it's
kind of funny that we even wentin general because it was, you
know, we're ages probably like10 to like 12 or 13.
And that's kind of far for achurch to take um young
(20:10):
adolescent, young teens.
So we go to Camp Eagle and, um,I'm kind of surprised that I
even got to go to just with thestate that, like my like home
was in and I didn't really likeI was pretty much a homebody
like I said I tried to protectmyself.
I was pretty shy, um, but Igraciously, like by God's mercy,
(20:32):
ended up going and my parentssent me there and I really just
encountered this Holy Spirit andencountered Jesus and
understood who he was personallyto me for the first time, and I
think it's the first time Itook the gospel personally like
I had heard it but the gospel ispersonal.
(20:55):
Um, it's for everyone.
Denise Jackson (20:57):
It's a love letter.
Cam Escalante (20:59):
Um and uh.
So, being at camp, I just Iremember experiencing that for
the first time that this lovefor me, that God has for me is
real and I am a sinner.
I did this and they did a greatjob at shepherding that age
group.
They did like a skit, like ascene where it was a courtroom
(21:19):
and there was one person who had, you know, stolen some medicine
to help somebody else, but likeshe stole intentionally, and
the other person I can'tremember what he had done, but
it was, um, it was a crime ofsome kind or it was a, an
offense of some kind, and thesentence for both of them and
(21:40):
the idea was it's a small sinand a big sin and um, the, the
sentence for both of them, andthe idea was it's a small sin
and a big sin and um, the, thesentence for both of them was
death.
um, at the end of the skit.
And so for me, I just rememberunderstanding.
You know, I sin like in smallways and in big ways all the
time, and everybody's a sinnerand we all need a savior and
(22:03):
it's for me.
Jesus died and went to thecross for me and he loves me, um
, and there was a girl at campwho was worshiping all by
herself, um, in front of this,like little worships that they
were having, and she was just onher knees praising God all by
(22:23):
herself and the faith that shehad, that I recognized at 10
years old.
I remember thinking I wantfaith like that because it you
can see how much she loves God.
There's a different fragranceabout someone who just has so
much love for God.
I still don't know who she was,I didn't know her at all, but
(22:45):
her faith just blew me away andit all clicked Like I can have a
life with Jesus and I can lovehim and through his love for me
and my obedience to him, otherpeople can see that they're
loved too through me.
Denise Jackson (23:02):
It was such a pivotal point in my life and so,
yeah, and then to see that yougot to be part of that because
Summers Creek goes yeah.
And you are at Summers Creek,so you.
It just blows my mind, honestly, how detailed he is.
Cam Escalante (23:18):
Yeah, in our path .
Denise Jackson (23:19):
Yeah, you know that he's leading us.
We walk through a lot of stuff,but even there, he's leading us
towards this ability to spreadour wings, to touch people's
lives, to teach them about thelove of god that's in christ
jesus, and it's mighty.
And in the meantime, he'sgrowing us more and more every
day till we go see him again,and, uh, till then we're going
(23:45):
to still be stumblers.
Right, we're going to stumbleand we're going to fall.
And but he promised we wouldn'tfall headlong.
Cam Escalante (23:51):
Yeah.
So that's a good promise, yeah,yeah.
And he promises to never be astumbling block, and he is not a
stumbling block for sure that'sgood.
Denise Jackson (23:59):
Well, so, yay, we've had such a good
conversation, but I would liketo give you a chance to just
tell our listeners out there, orwatchers out there, anything
you'd like to tell them that maybe a piece of wisdom for their
lives.
And you know, I usually say forthose younger women because I'm
(24:21):
so old, but you know, you'rewise beyond your years because
of how God has already beenmolding and making you so.
To any woman that doesn't knowthe Lord like you know him, what
would you say to them?
And you can just tell them notme- him.
Cam Escalante (24:44):
What would you say to them?
And you could just tell themnot me, I think.
I would just say what comes tomind and especially this is
something that God has beenreminding me of and teaching me
recently is no matter what youdo.
It is pivotal to understand thathe's just so well pleased with
you right now before you evenlift a finger or do anything or
did anything for him.
(25:04):
He was proud of you and he knewyou and he called you before the
foundation of the world.
And so I would just say, fromthe place that you do anything
out of, I just pray that youhave the understanding that you
don't have to earn affection,you don't have to earn love, you
don't have to strive anymoreand you don't have to perform or
(25:27):
pretend, um to belong, becauseyou do belong and so doing if
you're going to work or if youhave a job interview or if you
are feeling a high pressure joband feeling stressed from it.
Really, I just pray that youunderstand that we operate out
of knowing that we already haveaccess to all the blessing and
(25:50):
that we don't need to search forthe blessing or for the
approval, um, we have it alreadyand you have everything you
need in Christ.
So I would say that's it and uh, that you are called but you're
also kept.
There's nothing that you can doto keep him from loving.
Denise Jackson (26:16):
I love that called and kept.
He's holding us in the middleof crippling anxiety that you,
like Cam, can walk from thatplace into freedom, into life,
and life abundantly.
Peace that passes allunderstanding.
(26:37):
This is Cam, and she's been inthe place that you've been in.
I've been there too.
Fear was my thing.
That just overwhelmed me when Iwas young, and so I just pray,
father, that you would open theeyes of those who can't see you,
who can't see your love, whocan't see your faithfulness, who
(26:59):
can't see your love, who can'tsee your faithfulness.
Let them see you, let them hearyour voice in Jesus' name and
girls, I'm so happy that youjoined us today, and I hope
you'll join us again on Rootedto Rising Growth in the
Greenhouse.
I have to practice that,because it's new to me Love that
(27:20):
it's a good one, it's a goodone.
Thank God I have peoplesurrounding me that have more
wisdom than I do.
Cam Escalante (27:27):
Okay.
Denise Jackson (27:27):
We love you and, uh, hopefully you'll have.
We'll have another conversationsoon and we'll share it with
you.
Bye.
Okay, missy, so welcome to Rooted in Rising
Growth from the Greenhouse.
I'm so excited.
Today I'm Denise Jackson, yourhost, and I'm excited to welcome
one of my friends, camEscalante, and we're going to
just be talking about Cam's lifeand lessons, and I'm really
(00:24):
excited to have her.
She's an amazing 23-year-oldwoman who loves the Lord and
seeks Him every day and servesHim, and God's done some mighty
things in her life at a reallyyoung age, and so I hope it
encourages you and you enjoy ourconversation.
Cam Escalante (00:43):
Thanks for having me.
I'm really excited, veryhonored.
You're a dear friend and youjust light up the room,
everything you do so how did wemeet?
Denise Jackson (00:52):
Really good to know each other.
Cam Escalante (00:53):
Yeah, I mean, I feel like we saw each other in
passing at Cypress for a longtime and I think my first
memories of you, Denise, are inprayer meetings or prayer rooms
and just hearing your likeagreement of yes, father, like
yeah, and just the excitementand just the love that you had
for God.
So verbally all the time.
That's my first memories of you, but I think we really got to
(01:14):
know each other this past summerin Mexico.
We went on that trip together.
Denise Jackson (01:19):
We went on a mission trip to Mexico.
We had so much fun and, yeah, Ithink that's when I got to know
you a little bit better andactually, I've gotten to know
you a lot better, even today aswe've talked about our lives and
the similarities of our lives.
Yeah, it's been so cool, solike right now you're finished
with college.
Cam Escalante (01:39):
I'm finished with college.
Denise Jackson (01:41):
And how is that like journey through college?
What's your degree inCommunication Studies Okay, with
college.
And how is that like journeythrough college?
What's your degree inCommunication studies, Okay?
Cam Escalante (01:46):
Um, I've been doing on and off grad school
through Dallas Baptist.
I've actually felt very calledrecently to just put a pause on
it.
Um, for a couple of reasons,and the main thing is, um, it's
there's so much going on in thisseason and while, like, getting
that degree it's in ministryeducation leadership has been
really cool, that degree it's inministry education leadership
has been really cool Um, it'salso very expensive and it just
(02:09):
takes up so much of my resources.
Um, like mentally and moneywise and time wise and just with
um, everything I'm doing rightnow, I've felt more conviction
to plug in locally and pour outfrom there, and so I do want to
finish my degree eventually.
I think it's a cool degree, butit's also to do what I'm doing
right now.
Denise Jackson (02:29):
So you know it's so it's just honing.
It's honing the skills.
Cam Escalante (02:32):
And God will do that.
I'm going to pull open the doorfor that when the time is right,
yeah but my undergrad was incommunication studies and, yeah,
wow, I feel like I could unpacka lot there with just my
experience with college.
But I came to Texas State in2019 and my very first thoughts
(02:52):
of Texas State were that I hatedit and I wanted to transfer and
I didn't think I was going tobe staying at Texas State at all
.
And I originally was coming toTexas State because, I told you,
I did theater in high schooland I love theater I still do
but I originally was coming tobe a theater major.
(03:13):
And then I felt just like ledaway from doing that the summer
going into, well, really, springsemester, my senior year, going
into summer of my freshman year.
So I had changed my degree tocommunication studies and, as
you know, I was thinking aboutand praying through like, should
I switch?
I just felt very led away fromtheater.
(03:35):
Then I started to question,well, should I go to Texas state
?
Um, you know, should I juststay home?
And Tyler, and, candidly,another piece of that was I was
dating a boy who was from Tylerum, and I just really didn't
want to leave Tyler um, the, andso I came to Texas State.
I was like, well, I'm notstaying here.
(03:56):
I'm gonna move somewhere closerto East Texas I can see my
boyfriend.
Denise Jackson (04:00):
Yes, so I can, which is like super normal for
super normal, super normal.
Cam Escalante (04:05):
And also so I think there was a subconscious.
I'm not going to try that hardlike to find friends here, even
though I was like you know I'lldo my best, but in that first
semester I was like I can't findanybody who is like you know,
going to be my friend and nobodyhas similar interests or likes
or values as me was not true atall, but not true at all.
(04:26):
So I ended up finding crosstalkmy freshman that first semester
and um tell them aboutcrosstalk, just because lots of
people might not know.
Yeah, yeah um, crosstalk is acollege ministry at Texas State
University where I go to schoolor went to school, and it's um
kind of the daughter ministry ofthe church we go to, which,
which is Cypress Creek Church.
Cypress started in 1993.
(04:48):
Crosstalk started in 1994.
So they're really hand in handand it's exclusive to Texas
State University.
I'm sure there's otherministries called Crosstalk, but
the one with Cypress is atTexas State.
Denise Jackson (05:07):
Crosstalk is and so has so crosstalk changed.
Cam Escalante (05:08):
some things for you oh yeah, oh my gosh, I, I
can't believe that.
I.
I work for crosstalk now, alsofor contacts, like I work for
Cypress.
And so if you would have toldme my freshman year that when I
was really convinced I wanted totransfer schools and hated
Texas State that I wouldeventually End up serving with
(05:29):
the ministry, I completely wouldnot have believed you and nor
would I have wanted to.
So I cross talk gave me myfriendships.
I mean so many friends that Imade and cross talk like I've
been in their weddings andthey're they're my best friends
to this day, and the mentorshipand the leadership that I found
(05:50):
within cross talk and Cyprus isnothing short of miraculous and
life-changing.
Denise Jackson (05:54):
Like, truly, I would not be who I am.
Well, that's why God tells uswe're not.
You know, we need to not bealone, we need to be where we
can be fed and where we can beconnected, and that was your
community group.
That was where you guys reallyshared your hearts 100%.
Cam Escalante (06:12):
That's awesome, yeah, and god himself is
communal it's father, son, holyspirit.
So why?
Who have been in relationshipsince before the beginning of
time and for all eternity?
So if god created us as areflection of himself and
community, then why do wesometimes think that we can get
away from not being in community?
Denise Jackson (06:33):
Or that he's so far away from us.
Yeah, like an ever-present help.
Yeah, like he's promised.
Cam Escalante (06:37):
Yeah, and we talk a lot at Cypress about belong,
and I think it's twofold,because we do belong to Jesus
first, but it's a horizontalbelong and also like a vertical
belong.
Oh, I love that, like we belong.
Denise Jackson (06:52):
I mean belong and also like a vertical belong.
Oh, I love that, like we belong.
I don't really talk about that,but just do that as you're
saying that.
I just see that like I've beenthinking that you know, I'm
rooted and grounded in the loveof god through christ jesus,
yeah, and I'm supposed to spreadmy branches, yeah, and be a
place of rest and hope andsecurity for others that he
brings into my life.
Cam Escalante (07:12):
So I really just love how that we're spreading
now I feel like that, yeah, it's, it's really, it's beautiful,
and we actually just talkedabout this in my community group
last night too.
So it's kind of funny how itjust came up again.
But, um, yeah, crosstalk, Igreater are the things that god
has for us that we can ask,imagine or fathom.
(07:35):
So that is definitely like alot of my story with crosstalk,
and I was I've heard jose talkabout this before too because
our pastor, he helps withcrosstalk and I really feel like
you know, I owe my life tojesus, but I feel like I owe my
life to crosstalk Like I want tospend.
Denise Jackson (07:52):
Yeah that was one of those defining moments in
your life.
Cam Escalante (07:56):
Yeah, and pour it back into so just talking about
that.
Denise Jackson (08:00):
Were there any times after you got in crosstalk
where you just had some greatneeds and you really needed God
to intervene or to or you didn'teven think you needed anything
but he intervened just to remindyou that he was right there?
Cam Escalante (08:18):
Yeah, um, first thing that comes to mind is when
I first got to college, I wasfilled with so much anxiety and
crippling, crippling anxiety.
And I just remember my freshmanyear, specifically that first
semester.
I was having panic attacks allthe time, all the time, like I
(08:44):
remember almost.
I think I almost passed out oneday because I was breathing so
heavily and likehyperventilating, and it just
was truly like riddling my lifeand crippling my life, and it
was something that I just didn'tknow Jesus could give me
freedom from.
it was kind of one of thosethings where I was like, well,
(09:04):
this is just the way I am thisis just who I am yeah, and I
feel like I just accepted it asa part of me, and Do you think
that there was a responsibleparty that was contributing to
your anxiety?
Yeah, I think there was a fewthings going on in my life at
that time.
Denise Jackson (09:23):
I'm just thinking spiritually, like Satan
was all over you.
Yeah, because you know, lookwhat he would have stopped if
you had quit.
Look what he would have stopped.
And so he wants to do that heloves to destroy.
Yeah, he does anxiety is likehis weapon.
It's not god's because.
What does he say?
Yeah yeah, haven't been given aspirit of fear, but power, love
(09:45):
and so on, but you didn't knowit yeah and um, so I, I just I
truly didn't know that jesuscould give me freedom from that
and more than that that I couldhave a life free from anxiety.
Cam Escalante (09:58):
But I I didn't really talk about it with anyone
, I didn't share with anyone, Ijust let it cripple me until I
remember one night I could notstop like hyperventilating, I
was crying, and I'm very muchlike someone where I wear my
heart on my sleeve, like I'm avery external processor, I
verbally process things and Ilike I just have to get stuff
(10:22):
out Like I can't like, and Ithink that's really a gift from
God too, that like my body keepsthe score in that way.
But I it was one Thursday and Icould not even bring myself to
get out of my room and um, but I, I was like I want to go to
crosstalk, I want to go tocrosstalk.
And I was back and forth likeno, I can't go.
No, I should go.
No, I can't go, I can't letthem see me like this.
(10:45):
And so I in my mind I was like,okay, I've pulled myself
together enough.
You know, kind of pick yourselfup by your bootstraps, like,
get it together so you can showyour face to everyone.
And I walked we were havingcross talk in the middle of the
campus that day, outside, and Iremember walking up my that fall
semester and I made eye contactwith some people who I had been
(11:08):
friends with and made friendswith, and they just immediately
knew like something was wrong.
And so making eye contact withthem, you know, when you're
having a bad day and somebodyasks you are you okay?
and it's just yeah, floodgatesare open yep and one of them
said are you okay?
And I remember just losing likesobbing in the quad that day.
(11:31):
And then immediately being metwith like three or four girls
who just surrounded me andhugged me and loved me, um, for
exactly where I was at andexactly who I was, and told me
that I didn't need to pretendthat things were okay if they
weren't and that God just wantedmy heart and wanted me to be
(11:53):
honest.
And so I immediately felt aweight just lifted off of me and
I worshipped at crosstalk.
But I think in that time too, Ithink I just didn't know that
it was a joy that I didn't needto pretend about, because I had
always.
You know, this is a whole otherthing too, but when I was
younger, I was very shy and veryquiet and almost kind of marked
(12:17):
by like sadness a little bit,and, um, that wasn't who I was
in Christ, but it's just how Iprotected myself, it's just how
I like shielded myself from allof the hurt and harm that I was
like this could come my way,this is how I need to protect
myself.
And then, the more that Godbegan to uncover and peel off
(12:38):
those layers of self-relianceand self-protection, um, I just
became more of who I am today.
But even in that, to a certainpoint, in like probably senior
year, um, when I was told youknow, you're joyful, you're, you
have this happiness about you,I was like, okay, that's just
what I need to pretend to be atall times, even if I'm not
(12:58):
feeling that.
And so I think I, in my freshmanyear of college, really just
put on this mask of this is whoI need to project myself to be,
and just an image, perception,perception management type of
thing, rather than having themindset of this is a joy that I
don't need to pretend about.
I just need to abide with thefather and trust that the
(13:21):
whoever he's made me to be isgoing to naturally overflow from
that and and we see that and oh, thank you.
And so, anyway, that's oneinstance where I really feel
like I was so just engulfed andencapsulated by anxiety and
pretending and performance anddoing it like OK, god, this is
(13:45):
to glorify you in thinking yeah,and then I'm going to just put
the mask on so that I can appearthat yes, okay, yeah, yeah, and
that you had.
Denise Jackson (13:55):
You know that he positioned those girls at that
time and that they weresensitive to the spirit, to
recognize that you needed to bereached out to in that moment
and he just broke apart thatmask yeah I loved.
Cam Escalante (14:09):
Yeah, it was definitely a defining moment for
me in crosstalk.
Denise Jackson (14:14):
So, uh, when you were young, um, you had some
insecurities just in life and umyou told me the story about the
peanut butter, the peanutbutter uh the peanut butter.
Cam Escalante (14:26):
Yeah, um, I so when I was in younger, in middle
school, um, there were somedays where I just didn't have
lunch for whatever reason, orlike, didn't have money to buy
lunch, and so the the story withthat is I would bring a jar of
peanut butter to school and Iwould just eat peanut butter
(14:46):
with a spoon, and it gave mewhat I needed.
Denise Jackson (14:50):
you know it did, but it was probably something
that was hard for you in thatmoment but God provided.
Even then I told you it's gotprotein, you can stay alive.
Fats your brain was stilldeveloping.
Cam Escalante (15:06):
It was good, but it's hard.
Denise Jackson (15:08):
It was hard.
And then you went to school oneday and they were giving away
pizza to some people whose nameswere drawn.
Yeah, so tell that story.
Cam Escalante (15:18):
Yeah, I went to school this one day and they
were giving away pizzas.
I think it was for like afundraiser or something.
It was, like you know, one ofthose fun weeks in school where
they were doing like pizzaparties and like whoever made or
sold the most cookie dough orsomething, you got this and so
they were doing all kinds ofpromotions for it and they're
giving away those pizzas in thecafeteria for free.
(15:38):
And they didn't have a lot ofpizzas, to my knowledge, but we
could put in our names, um, intothis little raffle and if our
name was drawn we got a freepizza.
And so I'm hungry.
I don't have lunch, I don'teven think I had a jar of peanut
butter this day, to be honest.
But I remember thinking, okay,I'll just put my name in the
(15:59):
raffle.
You know, worst case scenario,I don't get a pizza.
And the girl sitting across fromme her name was Delicia Delicia
Rowland, but she was sittingacross from me and she had put
her name in as well, and thenher name got called over the
speaker right.
And so I'm like, like I justshut.
I'm like why did she get apizza?
(16:20):
What?
Like that's crazy.
And I go to a pretty big middleschool, like there's a lot of
kids in the cafeteria and so shecomes back, she sits down and I
even asked her.
I was like why?
I was like how'd you get thatKind of joking?
But like how'd you get a pizza?
Like that's not fair.
And me, and she was like Iprayed, and to me, when I was at
(16:51):
that age, I just was like noway you just prayed and then God
just gave you a pizza like thatis crazy.
and she was, like it happened, Idid.
And so I thought, okay, youknow, I'll just I'll try that,
like I'll just pray and I'lljust see what happens.
I'll just talk to God and lethim know what's going on, and
I'll just I'll try that, likeI'll just pray and I'll just see
what happens, I'll just talk toGod and let him know what's
going on.
And so I prayed, just to myselfand pretty much like right when
I finished the prayer,immediately they called my name
(17:15):
over the speaker and then I waslike so I love those stories
because I think that you know heso does want a relationship
with us.
Denise Jackson (17:26):
Yeah, he wants us to know his love.
Yeah his intentionality and wehave stories like that in our
lives, walking through somethings.
You have stories like that.
I believe you guys have storiesout there where God just
reached down and met that needimmediately because you needed
(17:48):
to know that he is God.
And if you haven't had those,ask him, because that's all it
takes.
If you're in a situation rightnow and you need God, he is
waiting to do for you what hehas done for us through our
lives.
He just reached out and showthat he is right, here with us
(18:10):
all the time and he loves us.
So you're with Crosstalk rightnow on staff.
And you have another storywhere you went to camp when you
were 10 and now you're at thatsame camp every summer right,
(18:32):
yeah some summers.
But talk about those stories,because it's so cool how he's
ordered your steps throughoutthis.
Like you said earlier, you cannever earlier.
Yeah, he could imagine.
Cam Escalante (18:44):
Yeah, you can't imagine yeah, and it's funny
because the camp that I wassaved at when I was 10 is called
Camp Eagle, and I forgot tomention this to you earlier.
But one of the girls I met upwith earlier, um, she's going to
be a sophomore and she's goingto be um a counselor at Camp
(19:05):
Eagle this summer too, and so,um, camp Eagle is a place that
has just grown.
It's very special to my heart,and the old college pastor, like
he, came from Camp Eagle, andso did his wife and I go there,
you know, sometimes with Cypress, and I just see how
miraculously God is using thatplace out in the whole country.
(19:26):
But the story with that is whenI was 10 I grew up in East
Texas, so I'm in Tyler.
At the time I'm 10 and for somereason that year and it was
like the first year we had evergone to Camp Eagle- like I
remember them showing a video.
They were like we've gone to adifferent camp in the past but
we heard about Camp Eagle and wewere like, oh, we have to try
(19:49):
this place.
But it's like eight hours awayfrom Tyler and so I think it's
kind of funny that we even wentin general because it was, you
know, we're ages probably like10 to like 12 or 13.
And that's kind of far for achurch to take um young
(20:10):
adolescent, young teens.
So we go to Camp Eagle and, um,I'm kind of surprised that I
even got to go to just with thestate that, like my like home
was in and I didn't really likeI was pretty much a homebody
like I said I tried to protectmyself.
I was pretty shy, um, but Igraciously, like by God's mercy,
(20:32):
ended up going and my parentssent me there and I really just
encountered this Holy Spirit andencountered Jesus and
understood who he was personallyto me for the first time, and I
think it's the first time Itook the gospel personally like
I had heard it but the gospel ispersonal.
(20:55):
Um, it's for everyone.
Denise Jackson (20:57):
It's a love letter.
Cam Escalante (20:59):
Um and uh.
So, being at camp, I just Iremember experiencing that for
the first time that this lovefor me, that God has for me is
real and I am a sinner.
I did this and they did a greatjob at shepherding that age
group.
They did like a skit, like ascene where it was a courtroom
(21:19):
and there was one person who had, you know, stolen some medicine
to help somebody else, but likeshe stole intentionally, and
the other person I can'tremember what he had done, but
it was, um, it was a crime ofsome kind or it was a, an
offense of some kind, and thesentence for both of them and
(21:40):
the idea was it's a small sinand a big sin and um, the, the
sentence for both of them, andthe idea was it's a small sin
and a big sin and um, the, thesentence for both of them was
death.
um, at the end of the skit.
And so for me, I just rememberunderstanding.
You know, I sin like in smallways and in big ways all the
time, and everybody's a sinnerand we all need a savior and
(22:03):
it's for me.
Jesus died and went to thecross for me and he loves me, um
, and there was a girl at campwho was worshiping all by
herself, um, in front of this,like little worships that they
were having, and she was just onher knees praising God all by
(22:23):
herself and the faith that shehad, that I recognized at 10
years old.
I remember thinking I wantfaith like that because it you
can see how much she loves God.
There's a different fragranceabout someone who just has so
much love for God.
I still don't know who she was,I didn't know her at all, but
(22:45):
her faith just blew me away andit all clicked Like I can have a
life with Jesus and I can lovehim and through his love for me
and my obedience to him, otherpeople can see that they're
loved too through me.
Denise Jackson (23:02):
It was such a pivotal point in my life and so,
yeah, and then to see that yougot to be part of that because
Summers Creek goes yeah.
And you are at Summers Creek,so you.
It just blows my mind, honestly, how detailed he is.
Cam Escalante (23:18):
Yeah, in our path .
Denise Jackson (23:19):
Yeah, you know that he's leading us.
We walk through a lot of stuff,but even there, he's leading us
towards this ability to spreadour wings, to touch people's
lives, to teach them about thelove of god that's in christ
jesus, and it's mighty.
And in the meantime, he'sgrowing us more and more every
day till we go see him again,and, uh, till then we're going
(23:45):
to still be stumblers.
Right, we're going to stumbleand we're going to fall.
And but he promised we wouldn'tfall headlong.
Cam Escalante (23:51):
Yeah.
So that's a good promise, yeah,yeah.
And he promises to never be astumbling block, and he is not a
stumbling block for sure that'sgood.
Denise Jackson (23:59):
Well, so, yay, we've had such a good
conversation, but I would liketo give you a chance to just
tell our listeners out there, orwatchers out there, anything
you'd like to tell them that maybe a piece of wisdom for their
lives.
And you know, I usually say forthose younger women because I'm
(24:21):
so old, but you know, you'rewise beyond your years because
of how God has already beenmolding and making you so.
To any woman that doesn't knowthe Lord like you know him, what
would you say to them?
And you can just tell them notme- him.
Cam Escalante (24:44):
What would you say to them?
And you could just tell themnot me, I think.
I would just say what comes tomind and especially this is
something that God has beenreminding me of and teaching me
recently is no matter what youdo.
It is pivotal to understand thathe's just so well pleased with
you right now before you evenlift a finger or do anything or
did anything for him.
(25:04):
He was proud of you and he knewyou and he called you before the
foundation of the world.
And so I would just say, fromthe place that you do anything
out of, I just pray that youhave the understanding that you
don't have to earn affection,you don't have to earn love, you
don't have to strive anymoreand you don't have to perform or
(25:27):
pretend, um to belong, becauseyou do belong and so doing if
you're going to work or if youhave a job interview or if you
are feeling a high pressure joband feeling stressed from it.
Really, I just pray that youunderstand that we operate out
of knowing that we already haveaccess to all the blessing and
(25:50):
that we don't need to search forthe blessing or for the
approval, um, we have it alreadyand you have everything you
need in Christ.
So I would say that's it and uh, that you are called but you're
also kept.
There's nothing that you can doto keep him from loving.
Denise Jackson (26:16):
I love that called and kept.
He's holding us in the middleof crippling anxiety that you,
like Cam, can walk from thatplace into freedom, into life,
and life abundantly.
Peace that passes allunderstanding.
(26:37):
This is Cam, and she's been inthe place that you've been in.
I've been there too.
Fear was my thing.
That just overwhelmed me when Iwas young, and so I just pray,
father, that you would open theeyes of those who can't see you,
who can't see your love, whocan't see your faithfulness, who
(26:59):
can't see your love, who can'tsee your faithfulness.
Let them see you, let them hearyour voice in Jesus' name and
girls, I'm so happy that youjoined us today, and I hope
you'll join us again on Rootedto Rising Growth in the
Greenhouse.
I have to practice that,because it's new to me Love that
(27:20):
it's a good one, it's a goodone.
Thank God I have peoplesurrounding me that have more
wisdom than I do.
Cam Escalante (27:27):
Okay.
Denise Jackson (27:27):
We love you and, uh, hopefully you'll have.
We'll have another conversationsoon and we'll share it with
you.
Bye.
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com