May 13, 2025 • 23 mins
Finding joy amidst grief, we explore the journey of motherhood across generations and the legacy we leave behind. This Mother's Day conversation shifts from processing loss to embracing the continuing purpose of a mother's heart.
• Processing grief after losing a mother differs from other losses – less desperate grief but a lingering heaviness
• Distance and life circumstances can strain mother-child relationships, but compassion and understanding often come with age
• The perfectionist pressure of motherhood can be released through recognizing that fierce love matters more than perfection
• Motherhood feels endless when children are young, but looking back reveals how quickly the seasons pass
• The "empty nest" isn't the end of purpose – God transitions women into new seasons of meaningful work
• Mother's Day isn't about receiving accolades but continuing to bless children and grandchildren
• Each child is divinely formed, and each mother is perfectly designed to raise her specific children
Remember that your motherhood journey is supposed to be a little wild. God formed you perfectly to raise your children exactly as they're meant to be. Trust Him with each season.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Denise Jackson (00:00):
Okay, girls, mother's Day is approaching and
it just seemed like anappropriate time to talk about
mothers.
I am back with one of myfavorite women to have
conversations with.
It's Victoria Bowers, welcome.
I'm so happy to be here.
So this morning I just well,let me just let you all know as
(00:24):
an audience that my mom died inJanuary.
She was 89 years old, and soI've been going through this
season of you know, God saysthat we don't grieve as people
who don't know him, and that'strue.
I have not been falling on thefloor bawling him, and that's
(00:45):
true.
I have not been falling on thefloor bawling, and I kind of was
well, I mean, I was and angryand shouting when I barely knew
the father when my brother diedseveral years ago.
But with mom it was just sodifferent.
I was like I was happy that shewas with the father, but there
was just a heaviness on me forthe last few months and I didn't
(01:07):
have a desire to do anything.
I felt like my vision wasreally damped down.
It was I wanted to sleep a lot.
At the same time, I was havingphysical issues, which probably
were even related to andmanifested in my body because of
(01:31):
this heaviness that I wasexperiencing because my mom
wasn't in the earth anymore.
And so you know that was a hardseason, and now Mother's Day is
coming up was a hard season,and now Mother's Day is coming
up and thankfully, god has movedme from that and just reminded
me of all the joy.
All the joy, uh, through everyseason with my mom, and
(01:54):
especially in her later days, Igot so much from her, and so I'm
just rejoicing in that rightnow and really thankful for my
mother.
So I just want you, victoria,to just like talk about your mom
and just some of the seasonsyou've gone through.
If you don't, mind.
Victoria Bowers (02:14):
Yeah Well, actually I would love to talk to
you a little bit, If it's OK.
Denise Jackson (02:20):
It's great we're going to let the conversation
go.
Victoria Bowers (02:22):
I love it Kind of about your mom.
That's great, we're going tolet the conversation go.
I love it Kind of about yourmom as far as, like, I remember
my mom going through losing mygrandma, her mom, and kind of
you know, I think that's likewhere you were talking about and
seeing firsthand where you work, where you've been at the past
few months and stuff, and justwalking with grace and maybe not
feeling that deep grief but youknow, knowing that you can't
(02:44):
rush grief, and sometimes Godjust like just rest, just rest
in me, which I feel like it'skind of where you've been the
past couple of months but withmother kind of coming out of
that.
But with mother's day coming,like are there things that cause
I love hearing aboutgrandparents and passing things
(03:04):
along and, you know, honoringthem with mother's Day and even
just like moving forward?
Are there things that like comeup for you with like honoring
your mom even though she's nothere, like things that you're
doing?
Denise Jackson (03:17):
You know I feel like I have a lot of emotion
because I was married at 16 andleft my mom and I'm the oldest
of six kids and we're prettyspread out.
My baby sister was three when Iwas 16 when I left and that was
(03:39):
a really hard thing.
But it was a difficultrelationship for many years
because she was still raisingchildren and I was nine hours
away.
Eventually I was nine hoursaway and so I didn't get a lot
of my mom's time and at first itwas a resentful thing.
(04:02):
And also my children didn't geta lot of my mom's time and they
resented it, you know, becauseit just didn't feel like they
were valued.
But she did.
She just didn't have enoughbandwidth to visit and take care
(04:22):
of her children and you know,be everything.
And so you know, like as I'vegotten older, and especially
because we moved closer to beingnear our moms, I've just gotten
so much compassion andunderstanding for what she was
trying to juggle and you knowwhat she was going through.
(04:46):
And when you said you know thatyour mom lost her mom, it
brought that memory back to me.
We moved to Laredo when I was 12.
And not very long after that mygrandmother, who I adored, died
of a heart attack very young,early 60s, 64, I think and her
(05:11):
death was like trauma in ourfamily.
I never had seen my mother justweep and sob and that's what
she was doing.
She was out of control, sobbingfor her mom, and she had also
left.
My dad was in the navy.
(05:32):
They had moved.
They got married and moved tohawaii and so she'd been away
from her mom when she had me andwhen she had my younger sister,
my first younger sibling andthen came back an hour away so
she got to see her more.
But they had just moved back toLaredo so that she could be with
(05:53):
her mama and she lost her mamaand they had a little season and
I'm thankful for that.
And I got a season in theselast few years with my mom and I
also got the gift of herblessing me and because I've
been doing these videos, Ivideotaped her and she would
(06:14):
just pour these words over me ofhow much she loved me and how
proud she was of me and all ofthese things, and it really
broke these offenses that I hadheld on to.
That I didn't even realize, youknow.
So, yes, it's been a sad seasonto lose her.
But I also have had thatperspective of looking back and
(06:37):
just seeing God in ourrelationship and how much she
prayed for me and what an impactthat had in my life and just
rejoicing that I know where sheis now.
Victoria Bowers (06:51):
Yeah, oh, I love that.
You know, I think that I I jokeI've always like been real
close with my mom.
But you know, you get older andyou're like kind of heavier,
especially those teenage years,and you kind of have an idea of
how they're supposed to be.
And then God gives you childrenor something similar to you,
(07:12):
and you're like oh yeah, yeah,I'm so.
I think God does it on purpose.
So you kind of just come backand you're like oh, you have so
much more understanding of likeyou know, where our moms were.
Denise Jackson (07:26):
You know, yeah, we put a lot of pedestal.
I think you know this is, oh,mom's this, and then when we get
out of there, it's like we seeall the things that they did
wrong, which I don't think isbad because, um, we're our
children, we want our childrento be better than us and, like
you know, I have four children.
(07:47):
They're all grown and they'vealready like almost raised their
kids now and, um, you know,like I didn't know what the heck
I was doing when I was theirmother.
The one thing I did know was Iloved them ferociously and they
would probably say, yeah, tooferociously, but I did.
I loved them.
(08:08):
I just loved that thesecreatures came to me and they
were so wild and they were sostrong and like, sometimes we
would just and can, can still dothat, but like, I love that
about them, they are the mostamazing people and they would,
(08:29):
they, they, we.
We raised them for a time, nottheir whole lives, but like for
a time we were very involved inour church.
For a time we were very involvedin our church and teaching them
the word and praising God, andthen we went through a season of
the church breaking up and thatwas very hard on our children
as much as it was very hard onus.
(08:49):
So they had those injuries too,along with their dad and I not
doing everything perfectly forsure, but, yeah, my hope is that
, and I've seen it everythingperfectly for sure, but yeah, my
hope is that and I've seen itthat they knew they wanted to do
things differently, but theyknew that they were loved and
that's the big thing that Iwanted them to have and want for
this Mother's Day.
(09:10):
As they're transitioning tochildren leaving home and
graduating soon from high school, if they're not already that
they just know that, uh, theirbest is enough.
I know that the best I could doat the time, which is what I
wanted to do, was enough.
It was just good now I do.
(09:31):
When I was younger, I had theperfectionist.
Victoria Bowers (09:33):
I think a lot of moms have that I, we have so
many really rich cover.
I like any of our meetings thatwe have and they always go so
much longer Cause we just I'mlike, oh, I love hearing cause
you're in a different seasonthan where I'm at.
Like I'm still, I have youngkids my oldest is only nine and
(09:54):
you know, so we're still in thethick of some late nights and
living on softball fields andstuff at the season.
But I love hearing because ithas to be so beautiful.
Like I envision what it'll belike when we have grandkids and
those grandkids are grown andjust watching that season.
And you know I always go back tolike the legacy that we get to
(10:17):
pass on.
You know whether it's the andthat goes beyond like I I'm not
thinking about like worldlypositions, but like what we get
to pass on down to our kids andwhat would fill my cup up seeing
my kids walk out as adults andas parents and as grandparents
and things like that.
So I'm curious, like what arethings that the legacies that
(10:38):
you would love to see go on?
Denise Jackson (10:41):
So faith, you know, just knowing that God is a
very present help in theirlives, that he's really holding
them in the palm of His hands,that when they choose a way that
is away from Him, they're nevertotally lost because he's
running after them.
So I want and it's hard in theworld because everything they
(11:05):
want, everything you know, to betangible, to touch it.
And it was the hardest thingfor me when I was younger, and
that's when I was advised andfollowed the wisdom of asking
God to teach me to love him, sothat I would really know him and
know that he is this presencethat never leaves me or forsakes
(11:26):
me.
So because of that, I havelooked back.
I've learned a lot about mygrandmother, that one that died,
and then her mother before her,and I'm writing a story.
It's a lot of fiction, a lot ofthings that I feel like I would
(11:47):
have done walking through thoseseasons and I can't possibly
know.
But I know some big things inher life and I know that she
prayed for her third and fourthgeneration and when I knew that
it became such an importanttheme in my life to pray for the
(12:08):
third and fourth generation andthat I tease the grandkids,
because they're the third um,that um, if y'all will raise
your kids up in the way of theLord, then it'll go to my
thousandth generation.
So would you do that for me?
Please do that for me.
So, yeah, those are the thingsthat I want to pass on, like
(12:28):
when I'm gone and they will feelsad, they are not lost because
who is in me is in them.
I don't feel sad for a season,of course, but uh, but he's got
a plan.
You know, and I want them toknow, we think of the earth as
(12:51):
like oh, this is it, but itisn't.
We were called.
He called my name.
I think it was Nisi that hecalls um.
He called my name.
I think it was Nisi that hecalled.
He called my name and said comeon, it's time to go.
That's what the scripture says,that's what his word says.
That's the big, old, long agobook of remembrance that hasn't
(13:13):
changed.
It's still that amazing lovestory that God wrote to us and
he wants us to write our stories.
He sent me here and he sent meand my mom and he sculpted me
exactly how I came out.
All of this wildness, all ofthis like um freedom, especially
(13:36):
as I've gotten older, more andmore freedom he put in me and he
did it for purpose, and I am onmission right now and it's so
short.
Like I remember being three andI remember being five and I
remember being 12 and I rememberbeing 30 and all along the way.
(14:00):
You know, like all of theseyears, I'm 67.
Like it's been a blink and itis been the best, most awesome
ride, except when it wasn't, andeven then I, he held me, and I
have stuff to do before I go,and so do you.
That's what I, I guess forMother's Day, that's for my
(14:22):
mother's heart, that's what I'msaying to my children, to my
children's children, to the nextgenerations, but also to you,
victoria, and all these spiritdaughters that God has given me
in my old age, that I am verygrateful for.
You know, just remember, you'rejust on a mission.
It'll be a blink of time and wewill be together in a different
(14:45):
place.
That we don't remember rightnow, but we will when we get
there, because we've alreadybeen there.
Victoria Bowers (14:51):
I love it so much.
I'm just loving because I'mlike I just these are just like
the conversations that we have.
And when you're saying likeyou're on a mission and it's so
fast, I was just having thatconversation.
I'm like it's so fast, like I'mlooking at how quickly the
years go by with my kids, I'msitting there and I'm going like
, oh, my goodness, and six moreyears, like my daughter's going
(15:13):
to be needing a car and I'm likehow are we here?
Like this is crazy and it justit goes so fast.
But you know, when you're sayinglike you're on a mission and
talking about the legacy that weget to leave our kids and stuff
, I think one of the biggestthings for myself that God keeps
showing me over and over islike there's so many things that
I want to do and there's somany you know like, and I love
(15:35):
being part of projects that I ama part of.
But then God's always just likeand if you do nothing else
except be my daughter and impartall of this and pour into your
kids, and that's like who youare is like mom.
Is that enough?
Because that's the biggestcalling that I have is to be mom
and wife and I think for awhile I kind of started to feel
(15:56):
like you know, all the outsidethe world tells you you got to
be this and that and this and Ilove, I love doing all of the
things that I get to do becauseit's so fun and but I'm like
there's nothing that beats thefeeling of just being mom.
Denise Jackson (16:12):
I feel that way too.
We've had these conversationslike I don't want young women to
sacrifice that time, like Idon't want young women to
sacrifice that time it goes.
So you said that on the lastconversation that Nathan was
going to be deployed for threemore years, and you look back
and that three years flew by.
In the middle of it, it feltlike it would never end, but
(16:33):
then it was over, and now youlook back and it was just like a
blip in your life, and I feellike I can see all those blips.
I loved raising my children.
I do want to say, though, thatthere's more to your purpose
after your children grow up,because a lot of women and I
have a daughter that's going toexperience that this next year
(16:56):
empty nest.
That is such a lie, really.
I mean, of course, you feellike wait, oh, my baby's gone,
but God doesn't miss a beat intaking us to another place,
another season.
That's great.
Don't rush it.
That's what I have.
(17:16):
A woman tell me I was going tomiss out in life if I didn't
work hard while my kids weregrowing up, and in my spirit, I
just refused that, and I'mthankful, because, gosh, I just
didn't have enough time lovingon them and being able to just
be in their presence as youngkids.
(17:38):
But afterwards was wonderfultoo, and it's still wonderful.
You know, I'm not.
I love being with my grandkids,but I don't just sit in that
space waiting on them to payattention to me.
I have work to do that God hasgiven me.
That's good.
(17:58):
I have work to do that God hasgiven me.
That's good, and all of us do,until the day that we go back to
him.
And so you don't have to fearwhen you're not mothering every
single day, but take theopportunity when you get the
chance to have them one-on-oneor really spending time with you
, to share your heart with themand let them know you're
(18:19):
thinking about them when you'renot with them in unobtrusive
ways, because, oh my gosh, Icould go off on mothering adult
children, but they don't reallykind of want you to be meddling
or talking in their life.
But it doesn't hurt when Godprompts you to send them verses
to tell them you're thinkingabout them, to tell them you're
(18:40):
proud of them and the goodthings that they're doing in
their life.
Like Mother's Day is not aboutsomebody telling you you're a
great mother.
It's about a day to remind youto just continue to bless your
children and your children'schildren, and their children's
(19:01):
children, and those people thathave been brought into your
lives to bless as children.
I think that's an importantthing.
Victoria Bowers (19:12):
I love that.
I love that.
I know everyone, I think, has adifferent view of what Mother's
Day is, and I think you justsaid it so perfectly, because
that's exactly how I feel.
Denise Jackson (19:21):
So maybe this is a good time for us to wrap up
this session, and so, victoria,I would love you to give us a
little wisdom for these ladiesthat they can take with them,
and then I'll pray, and thenwe'll close.
Okay, perfect.
Victoria Bowers (19:40):
So obviously, like I'm still in the young
season, but I'm speaking to themamas that are there, because
that's where I'm at and I justGod constantly shows me over and
over again that motherhood issupposed to be a little wild and
it is supposed to just be likeGod made us.
(20:00):
Give us so much grace and tojust those little moments, just
soak them up as much as you canand just live in the beauty of
each beautiful child's liketheir own individual personality
.
I know that's so hard to say,but just to lean into that and
that, knowing that God formedyou perfectly to raise that kid
(20:23):
exactly who they're supposed tobe, and so that that's where God
keeps showing me.
Denise Jackson (20:28):
Oh, praise God, that's good, that's good, okay.
So, father, wow, what a morningin conversation with my friend
Victoria.
A morning in conversation withmy friend Victoria.
You hold us both, and all ofthe women that are listening to
this today, in the palm of yourhand.
You keep us safe.
(20:48):
You gave us mothers and fathersfor purpose.
You knew that both were needed,and if there's a woman out
there that didn't experiencethat, I know that you are enough
to fill the emptiness, to fillthe holes where they didn't get
what they needed, to heal thehurts.
(21:11):
Father, I ask for that healingto pour out on them today.
I thank you for your word thatsays you pulled us out of the
pit of nothingness, of that pitof destruction, and you put all
of our sins behind us.
There's nothing we could havedone to offend you and you love
(21:31):
us so much.
All we have to do is turn toyou.
And then you finished thatstatement saying you healed all
of our diseases.
And, father, I know that thesediseases are things that get
into our heart and thenstoniness forms around those
(21:52):
places in our heart and it's sohard to let go.
But I know you can take thatpiece in every woman's heart
today and remove it and replaceit with a heart of flesh, and
you can show them your love thatis greater than any obstacle
that they're facing today, andyou, I know, can tear down the
(22:14):
stone poles, and so I just trustyou to do that for every woman,
for every woman that's hadchildren or hasn't had children
either one.
You love them perfectly andcompletely, and we just bless
them today in the name of jesus.
Amen, okay, amen, oh, very good, girls, have a great day.
Okay, girls, mother's Day is approaching and
it just seemed like anappropriate time to talk about
mothers.
I am back with one of myfavorite women to have
conversations with.
It's Victoria Bowers, welcome.
I'm so happy to be here.
So this morning I just well,let me just let you all know as
(00:24):
an audience that my mom died inJanuary.
She was 89 years old, and soI've been going through this
season of you know, God saysthat we don't grieve as people
who don't know him, and that'strue.
I have not been falling on thefloor bawling him, and that's
(00:45):
true.
I have not been falling on thefloor bawling, and I kind of was
well, I mean, I was and angryand shouting when I barely knew
the father when my brother diedseveral years ago.
But with mom it was just sodifferent.
I was like I was happy that shewas with the father, but there
was just a heaviness on me forthe last few months and I didn't
(01:07):
have a desire to do anything.
I felt like my vision wasreally damped down.
It was I wanted to sleep a lot.
At the same time, I was havingphysical issues, which probably
were even related to andmanifested in my body because of
(01:31):
this heaviness that I wasexperiencing because my mom
wasn't in the earth anymore.
And so you know that was a hardseason, and now Mother's Day is
coming up was a hard season,and now Mother's Day is coming
up and thankfully, god has movedme from that and just reminded
me of all the joy.
All the joy, uh, through everyseason with my mom, and
(01:54):
especially in her later days, Igot so much from her, and so I'm
just rejoicing in that rightnow and really thankful for my
mother.
So I just want you, victoria,to just like talk about your mom
and just some of the seasonsyou've gone through.
If you don't, mind.
Victoria Bowers (02:14):
Yeah Well, actually I would love to talk to
you a little bit, If it's OK.
Denise Jackson (02:20):
It's great we're going to let the conversation
go.
Victoria Bowers (02:22):
I love it Kind of about your mom.
That's great, we're going tolet the conversation go.
I love it Kind of about yourmom as far as, like, I remember
my mom going through losing mygrandma, her mom, and kind of
you know, I think that's likewhere you were talking about and
seeing firsthand where you work, where you've been at the past
few months and stuff, and justwalking with grace and maybe not
feeling that deep grief but youknow, knowing that you can't
(02:44):
rush grief, and sometimes Godjust like just rest, just rest
in me, which I feel like it'skind of where you've been the
past couple of months but withmother kind of coming out of
that.
But with mother's day coming,like are there things that cause
I love hearing aboutgrandparents and passing things
(03:04):
along and, you know, honoringthem with mother's Day and even
just like moving forward?
Are there things that like comeup for you with like honoring
your mom even though she's nothere, like things that you're
doing?
Denise Jackson (03:17):
You know I feel like I have a lot of emotion
because I was married at 16 andleft my mom and I'm the oldest
of six kids and we're prettyspread out.
My baby sister was three when Iwas 16 when I left and that was
(03:39):
a really hard thing.
But it was a difficultrelationship for many years
because she was still raisingchildren and I was nine hours
away.
Eventually I was nine hoursaway and so I didn't get a lot
of my mom's time and at first itwas a resentful thing.
(04:02):
And also my children didn't geta lot of my mom's time and they
resented it, you know, becauseit just didn't feel like they
were valued.
But she did.
She just didn't have enoughbandwidth to visit and take care
(04:22):
of her children and you know,be everything.
And so you know, like as I'vegotten older, and especially
because we moved closer to beingnear our moms, I've just gotten
so much compassion andunderstanding for what she was
trying to juggle and you knowwhat she was going through.
(04:46):
And when you said you know thatyour mom lost her mom, it
brought that memory back to me.
We moved to Laredo when I was 12.
And not very long after that mygrandmother, who I adored, died
of a heart attack very young,early 60s, 64, I think and her
(05:11):
death was like trauma in ourfamily.
I never had seen my mother justweep and sob and that's what
she was doing.
She was out of control, sobbingfor her mom, and she had also
left.
My dad was in the navy.
(05:32):
They had moved.
They got married and moved tohawaii and so she'd been away
from her mom when she had me andwhen she had my younger sister,
my first younger sibling andthen came back an hour away so
she got to see her more.
But they had just moved back toLaredo so that she could be with
(05:53):
her mama and she lost her mamaand they had a little season and
I'm thankful for that.
And I got a season in theselast few years with my mom and I
also got the gift of herblessing me and because I've
been doing these videos, Ivideotaped her and she would
(06:14):
just pour these words over me ofhow much she loved me and how
proud she was of me and all ofthese things, and it really
broke these offenses that I hadheld on to.
That I didn't even realize, youknow.
So, yes, it's been a sad seasonto lose her.
But I also have had thatperspective of looking back and
(06:37):
just seeing God in ourrelationship and how much she
prayed for me and what an impactthat had in my life and just
rejoicing that I know where sheis now.
Victoria Bowers (06:51):
Yeah, oh, I love that.
You know, I think that I I jokeI've always like been real
close with my mom.
But you know, you get older andyou're like kind of heavier,
especially those teenage years,and you kind of have an idea of
how they're supposed to be.
And then God gives you childrenor something similar to you,
(07:12):
and you're like oh yeah, yeah,I'm so.
I think God does it on purpose.
So you kind of just come backand you're like oh, you have so
much more understanding of likeyou know, where our moms were.
Denise Jackson (07:26):
You know, yeah, we put a lot of pedestal.
I think you know this is, oh,mom's this, and then when we get
out of there, it's like we seeall the things that they did
wrong, which I don't think isbad because, um, we're our
children, we want our childrento be better than us and, like
you know, I have four children.
(07:47):
They're all grown and they'vealready like almost raised their
kids now and, um, you know,like I didn't know what the heck
I was doing when I was theirmother.
The one thing I did know was Iloved them ferociously and they
would probably say, yeah, tooferociously, but I did.
I loved them.
(08:08):
I just loved that thesecreatures came to me and they
were so wild and they were sostrong and like, sometimes we
would just and can, can still dothat, but like, I love that
about them, they are the mostamazing people and they would,
(08:29):
they, they, we.
We raised them for a time, nottheir whole lives, but like for
a time we were very involved inour church.
For a time we were very involvedin our church and teaching them
the word and praising God, andthen we went through a season of
the church breaking up and thatwas very hard on our children
as much as it was very hard onus.
(08:49):
So they had those injuries too,along with their dad and I not
doing everything perfectly forsure, but, yeah, my hope is that
, and I've seen it everythingperfectly for sure, but yeah, my
hope is that and I've seen itthat they knew they wanted to do
things differently, but theyknew that they were loved and
that's the big thing that Iwanted them to have and want for
this Mother's Day.
(09:10):
As they're transitioning tochildren leaving home and
graduating soon from high school, if they're not already that
they just know that, uh, theirbest is enough.
I know that the best I could doat the time, which is what I
wanted to do, was enough.
It was just good now I do.
(09:31):
When I was younger, I had theperfectionist.
Victoria Bowers (09:33):
I think a lot of moms have that I, we have so
many really rich cover.
I like any of our meetings thatwe have and they always go so
much longer Cause we just I'mlike, oh, I love hearing cause
you're in a different seasonthan where I'm at.
Like I'm still, I have youngkids my oldest is only nine and
(09:54):
you know, so we're still in thethick of some late nights and
living on softball fields andstuff at the season.
But I love hearing because ithas to be so beautiful.
Like I envision what it'll belike when we have grandkids and
those grandkids are grown andjust watching that season.
And you know I always go back tolike the legacy that we get to
(10:17):
pass on.
You know whether it's the andthat goes beyond like I I'm not
thinking about like worldlypositions, but like what we get
to pass on down to our kids andwhat would fill my cup up seeing
my kids walk out as adults andas parents and as grandparents
and things like that.
So I'm curious, like what arethings that the legacies that
(10:38):
you would love to see go on?
Denise Jackson (10:41):
So faith, you know, just knowing that God is a
very present help in theirlives, that he's really holding
them in the palm of His hands,that when they choose a way that
is away from Him, they're nevertotally lost because he's
running after them.
So I want and it's hard in theworld because everything they
(11:05):
want, everything you know, to betangible, to touch it.
And it was the hardest thingfor me when I was younger, and
that's when I was advised andfollowed the wisdom of asking
God to teach me to love him, sothat I would really know him and
know that he is this presencethat never leaves me or forsakes
(11:26):
me.
So because of that, I havelooked back.
I've learned a lot about mygrandmother, that one that died,
and then her mother before her,and I'm writing a story.
It's a lot of fiction, a lot ofthings that I feel like I would
(11:47):
have done walking through thoseseasons and I can't possibly
know.
But I know some big things inher life and I know that she
prayed for her third and fourthgeneration and when I knew that
it became such an importanttheme in my life to pray for the
(12:08):
third and fourth generation andthat I tease the grandkids,
because they're the third um,that um, if y'all will raise
your kids up in the way of theLord, then it'll go to my
thousandth generation.
So would you do that for me?
Please do that for me.
So, yeah, those are the thingsthat I want to pass on, like
(12:28):
when I'm gone and they will feelsad, they are not lost because
who is in me is in them.
I don't feel sad for a season,of course, but uh, but he's got
a plan.
You know, and I want them toknow, we think of the earth as
(12:51):
like oh, this is it, but itisn't.
We were called.
He called my name.
I think it was Nisi that hecalls um.
He called my name.
I think it was Nisi that hecalled.
He called my name and said comeon, it's time to go.
That's what the scripture says,that's what his word says.
That's the big, old, long agobook of remembrance that hasn't
(13:13):
changed.
It's still that amazing lovestory that God wrote to us and
he wants us to write our stories.
He sent me here and he sent meand my mom and he sculpted me
exactly how I came out.
All of this wildness, all ofthis like um freedom, especially
(13:36):
as I've gotten older, more andmore freedom he put in me and he
did it for purpose, and I am onmission right now and it's so
short.
Like I remember being three andI remember being five and I
remember being 12 and I rememberbeing 30 and all along the way.
(14:00):
You know, like all of theseyears, I'm 67.
Like it's been a blink and itis been the best, most awesome
ride, except when it wasn't, andeven then I, he held me, and I
have stuff to do before I go,and so do you.
That's what I, I guess forMother's Day, that's for my
(14:22):
mother's heart, that's what I'msaying to my children, to my
children's children, to the nextgenerations, but also to you,
victoria, and all these spiritdaughters that God has given me
in my old age, that I am verygrateful for.
You know, just remember, you'rejust on a mission.
It'll be a blink of time and wewill be together in a different
(14:45):
place.
That we don't remember rightnow, but we will when we get
there, because we've alreadybeen there.
Victoria Bowers (14:51):
I love it so much.
I'm just loving because I'mlike I just these are just like
the conversations that we have.
And when you're saying likeyou're on a mission and it's so
fast, I was just having thatconversation.
I'm like it's so fast, like I'mlooking at how quickly the
years go by with my kids, I'msitting there and I'm going like
, oh, my goodness, and six moreyears, like my daughter's going
(15:13):
to be needing a car and I'm likehow are we here?
Like this is crazy and it justit goes so fast.
But you know, when you're sayinglike you're on a mission and
talking about the legacy that weget to leave our kids and stuff
, I think one of the biggestthings for myself that God keeps
showing me over and over islike there's so many things that
I want to do and there's somany you know like, and I love
(15:35):
being part of projects that I ama part of.
But then God's always just likeand if you do nothing else
except be my daughter and impartall of this and pour into your
kids, and that's like who youare is like mom.
Is that enough?
Because that's the biggestcalling that I have is to be mom
and wife and I think for awhile I kind of started to feel
(15:56):
like you know, all the outsidethe world tells you you got to
be this and that and this and Ilove, I love doing all of the
things that I get to do becauseit's so fun and but I'm like
there's nothing that beats thefeeling of just being mom.
Denise Jackson (16:12):
I feel that way too.
We've had these conversationslike I don't want young women to
sacrifice that time, like Idon't want young women to
sacrifice that time it goes.
So you said that on the lastconversation that Nathan was
going to be deployed for threemore years, and you look back
and that three years flew by.
In the middle of it, it feltlike it would never end, but
(16:33):
then it was over, and now youlook back and it was just like a
blip in your life, and I feellike I can see all those blips.
I loved raising my children.
I do want to say, though, thatthere's more to your purpose
after your children grow up,because a lot of women and I
have a daughter that's going toexperience that this next year
(16:56):
empty nest.
That is such a lie, really.
I mean, of course, you feellike wait, oh, my baby's gone,
but God doesn't miss a beat intaking us to another place,
another season.
That's great.
Don't rush it.
That's what I have.
(17:16):
A woman tell me I was going tomiss out in life if I didn't
work hard while my kids weregrowing up, and in my spirit, I
just refused that, and I'mthankful, because, gosh, I just
didn't have enough time lovingon them and being able to just
be in their presence as youngkids.
(17:38):
But afterwards was wonderfultoo, and it's still wonderful.
You know, I'm not.
I love being with my grandkids,but I don't just sit in that
space waiting on them to payattention to me.
I have work to do that God hasgiven me.
That's good.
(17:58):
I have work to do that God hasgiven me.
That's good, and all of us do,until the day that we go back to
him.
And so you don't have to fearwhen you're not mothering every
single day, but take theopportunity when you get the
chance to have them one-on-oneor really spending time with you
, to share your heart with themand let them know you're
(18:19):
thinking about them when you'renot with them in unobtrusive
ways, because, oh my gosh, Icould go off on mothering adult
children, but they don't reallykind of want you to be meddling
or talking in their life.
But it doesn't hurt when Godprompts you to send them verses
to tell them you're thinkingabout them, to tell them you're
(18:40):
proud of them and the goodthings that they're doing in
their life.
Like Mother's Day is not aboutsomebody telling you you're a
great mother.
It's about a day to remind youto just continue to bless your
children and your children'schildren, and their children's
(19:01):
children, and those people thathave been brought into your
lives to bless as children.
I think that's an importantthing.
Victoria Bowers (19:12):
I love that.
I love that.
I know everyone, I think, has adifferent view of what Mother's
Day is, and I think you justsaid it so perfectly, because
that's exactly how I feel.
Denise Jackson (19:21):
So maybe this is a good time for us to wrap up
this session, and so, victoria,I would love you to give us a
little wisdom for these ladiesthat they can take with them,
and then I'll pray, and thenwe'll close.
Okay, perfect.
Victoria Bowers (19:40):
So obviously, like I'm still in the young
season, but I'm speaking to themamas that are there, because
that's where I'm at and I justGod constantly shows me over and
over again that motherhood issupposed to be a little wild and
it is supposed to just be likeGod made us.
(20:00):
Give us so much grace and tojust those little moments, just
soak them up as much as you canand just live in the beauty of
each beautiful child's liketheir own individual personality
.
I know that's so hard to say,but just to lean into that and
that, knowing that God formedyou perfectly to raise that kid
(20:23):
exactly who they're supposed tobe, and so that that's where God
keeps showing me.
Denise Jackson (20:28):
Oh, praise God, that's good, that's good, okay.
So, father, wow, what a morningin conversation with my friend
Victoria.
A morning in conversation withmy friend Victoria.
You hold us both, and all ofthe women that are listening to
this today, in the palm of yourhand.
You keep us safe.
(20:48):
You gave us mothers and fathersfor purpose.
You knew that both were needed,and if there's a woman out
there that didn't experiencethat, I know that you are enough
to fill the emptiness, to fillthe holes where they didn't get
what they needed, to heal thehurts.
(21:11):
Father, I ask for that healingto pour out on them today.
I thank you for your word thatsays you pulled us out of the
pit of nothingness, of that pitof destruction, and you put all
of our sins behind us.
There's nothing we could havedone to offend you and you love
(21:31):
us so much.
All we have to do is turn toyou.
And then you finished thatstatement saying you healed all
of our diseases.
And, father, I know that thesediseases are things that get
into our heart and thenstoniness forms around those
(21:52):
places in our heart and it's sohard to let go.
But I know you can take thatpiece in every woman's heart
today and remove it and replaceit with a heart of flesh, and
you can show them your love thatis greater than any obstacle
that they're facing today, andyou, I know, can tear down the
(22:14):
stone poles, and so I just trustyou to do that for every woman,
for every woman that's hadchildren or hasn't had children
either one.
You love them perfectly andcompletely, and we just bless
them today in the name of jesus.
Amen, okay, amen, oh, very good, girls, have a great day.
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