About When God's Timing Meets Your Marriage

Have you ever felt caught between your desire for action and your husband's hesitation? That tension of knowing when to speak up versus when to step back affects nearly every marriage, especially during major decisions like welcoming foster children into your home.

This heartfelt conversation explores the challenging yet transformative practice of trusting God's timing in marriage. When Kristen completed a long-awaited bathroom renovation – the final step before reopening their home to foster children – her husband's uncertain response tested her patience. Rather than pushing for the answer she wanted, she chose a revolutionary approach: walking away to pray.

Her story reveals the powerful difference between trying to change your spouse through your own efforts versus allowing God to work on their heart. "It doesn't help anything, it just delays it even more," Kristen admits, reflecting on past moments when her impatience created conflict rather than progress. Through vulnerable sharing, we witness how surrendering control to God paradoxically brought faster resolution than any amount of persuasion could have accomplished.

What makes this conversation truly special is seeing how these principles build upon themselves over time. Each experience of watching God work in unexpected ways creates what they call a "book of remembrance" – evidence of God's faithfulness that strengthens faith for future challenges. Whether you're navigating fostering decisions, home renovations, career changes, or any area where your timing doesn't match your spouse's, these insights offer both practical wisdom and spiritual encouragement.

Ready to transform how you handle those moments when you desperately want your husband to see things your way? Listen now, and discover how patience might be the most powerful tool you haven't fully embraced in your marriage.

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Episode Transcript

Denise Jackson (00:00):
been really good to talk about with you today,
and that is how in the world youtrust your husband enough to
back off when you know you needan answer, or you feel like you
need clarity, or you feel likeyou need to just see him change.

(00:21):
So all of those things with ourhusbands because God says that
our husbands are the priest andking of our household, and if
you really want moreunderstanding on that, you need
to read Ephesians 5, because ittalks about his heart and how
his heart should be towards youtoo.
So it's not like a simple thing.

(00:42):
It's something that God has tobe part of or it's not going to
work.
And so Kristen and I were justtalking earlier and I want to
continue that conversation abouthow they're looking to open
their home to some foster kidssoon, and that's you know,

(01:02):
they've already done this onceand it was hard but rewarding,
um, but now they're kind ofready to do it again.
But timing, god's timing isperfect and your husband, your
husband, is in God's hands andwe're gonna trust.
Trust that, and we're going totalk a little bit about how we

(01:25):
do that.
So, kristen, welcome.
I'm happy you're here today.
Thanks for having me again.
Yay, well, you're a regularbecause you're also my
videographer, and you're you're.
You and I are always talkingabout these issues, the issues
of life that you know, god gaveus a lot of instruction about
All sorts of issues.
So talk to me a little bitabout this whole process and the

(01:46):
bathroom.

Kristin Taibi (01:47):
Yeah, so we've been kind of been going with
gauging on what we're gonnastart our fostering again, based
on, like, when we get thisbathroom done, because it's the
kids bathroom so it needs to befinished when they get there.
So we've been on pause and justtaking a rest during that time
and finishing, you know, thethings with the house, and so

(02:10):
the bathroom was finished theother day, um, finally, yay,
yeah, I love when a project getsdone.

Denise Jackson (02:16):
I know, oh, I love it.
It's such a relief Starting aproject, yeah.
But then, yes, it's like, onceyou finish it, it's like oh my
gosh, I love it.

Kristin Taibi (02:23):
It was taking longer than we expected, did it
turn out as good as?

Denise Jackson (02:27):
you hoped it did .

Kristin Taibi (02:29):
Is it better than ?

Denise Jackson (02:30):
you hoped, or pretty much just exactly like
you imagined.

Kristin Taibi (02:33):
It's a little bit better than I hoped oh yeah,
that's even greater, yeah so Igood.
So we're like um, and so we'realso like delayed, because we
thought we'd start like lastmonth.
We thought the bathroom wouldbe done but then it just it just
didn't happen.
With life, you know how busylife gets and just there.

Denise Jackson (02:52):
I just want to say, like that's we call it life
.
Yeah, but god orders our steps.
So he knows, yeah, and and Ihave the benefit and you do too
of being able to look back andsay, oh, that really wasn't late
, it was like just yeah, on time, so you've learned to trust him

(03:15):
.
Yeah, walk, and I've learned totrust him that walk.

Kristin Taibi (03:17):
So it makes it a lot easier when we yeah, thanks
that right right, absolutelylike we've had some like you
know just in the past how I'velearned this and just realized
like yeah, like this doesn'thelp the situation like ever.
So, like I'm getting better atactually, you know, living it
out with like, yes, just prayingthrough it, and you know not

(03:40):
pushing but yeah, so I'll finishthe rest of the story.
Yeah, yeah, yeah um, but yeah,so the bathroom was finally
finished on Friday.
We are a month delayed, like Isaid, um than we expected.
And so then, friday, you know,we're finishing it up and I'm
like, okay, well, it's finished.
So are we gonna like open upour house um next week?

(04:01):
Then, and my husband's responsewas I don't know.
So I was like what?

Denise Jackson (04:07):
did you want to say?

Kristin Taibi (04:09):
What did you want to say?
What I wanted to say was whatdo you mean?
You do not know, like I thoughtthe answer would absolutely be
yes, yes and it was not that, soit was like yeah.

Denise Jackson (04:21):
I put him on a discussion.
So what does that mean?
Yes, yeah.

Kristin Taibi (04:24):
But I just didn't .
I was just like okay, deepbreath, and I just walked away,
and then I went to go praybecause I like literally needed
to get it out, yes, otherwiselike not to him, but just to God
.
Yeah, what's going on here?

Denise Jackson (04:39):
let him know yeah, and he listens right, like
, like, if you're out thereright now and you think you
can't have a personalrelationship with our father
Abba through Jesus, that's whyhe sent Jesus so that we could
have this one-on-onerelationship, despite the stuff

(05:03):
that's in our lives, becauseJesus is there in front of us,
putting all of our sins behindus.
And I want you to know thattoday, because if I did not have
this relationship where I couldgo to my father and just say
this is what's going on?
please do something in me or inmy husband, or both, but do

(05:24):
something.
And he always, always listens,loves, and then he does it in
his own time.
But it's perfect timing, yeah,it is perfect timing.

Kristin Taibi (05:30):
And then he's the one who own time, but it's
perfect timing, yeah, it isperfect timing.
And then he's the one who canmove on my husband's heart
rather than me trying to do itin my own strength.
That's right by like just usinga bunch of words.
That will probably not help ourrelationship and may hurt a
week.
Yeah, that's, yeah, yeah soit's like really important to go
to God and just let it out youknow, not bottle it up either

(05:54):
because sometimes people couldbottle it up and then that's not
good for you.

Denise Jackson (05:58):
Yes, yeah, yeah, and.
And so that was friday andtoday is monday.
Yeah, but everything is alreadychanged.

Kristin Taibi (06:09):
Yes, so what happened?
Well, right now we're stilldidn't actually text the person.
Hey, yeah, hey, we're openingup our house, but like we are.
But did you have a?
Conversation oh yeah, so howdid it change?
So we did have a conversation.
You prayed you prayed.

Denise Jackson (06:27):
And then how did ?

Kristin Taibi (06:29):
it happen on Friday, so no, so I yes.
So I had to wait a couple moredays before he actually brought
it up okay, you waited for himto.

Denise Jackson (06:37):
Oh my gosh, high five woman.
I mean seriously, cuz likethat's the hardest thing for me.
It's really hard, yeah, welearned, do I still have to it,
and so yeah, but I would be ayear.

Kristin Taibi (06:48):
Yeah, you had to wait two days, yeah yeah, I had
to keep praying, though, likebecause it would like come back
up like in my mind and be like,maybe you should say something,
yeah, but then I'm like you know, I'm still just I'm not gonna
do it.
but it was funny how God usedother people to ask him
questions, like his, I think dadcalled him this weekend and I

(07:09):
think he may have talked to hismom and so, like they both like,
were like so when are you gonnastart again?
And I think he may have talkedto his mom and so, like, they
both like, we're like, so whenare you going to start again?
And I'm just like, I feel likeI feel like God's using other
people to to confirm in hisspirit.

Denise Jackson (07:20):
So when you talked what, what was the
conversation Like?
If you can share some of theconversation, I know yeah.

Kristin Taibi (07:27):
So even after he'd like talk to his parents.
I still was.
Just like I want him to bringit up.

Denise Jackson (07:32):
That's good.
I really don't want to push.

Kristin Taibi (07:34):
So when we did talk, it was just quite random
when he finally brought it up.
I think it was like we woke upin the morning and then all of a
sudden he was like so are wegoing to start like next week?

Denise Jackson (07:47):
I was like you're ready?
What?
Oh my goodness, I think thatwas.

Kristin Taibi (07:56):
I think so.
If you're ready, then I'm ready, and the bathroom's ready.

Denise Jackson (08:04):
Okay, so let me ask you to go back and tell me a
time, if you can think of it,when you weren't patient.
Do you remember a time likethat?

Kristin Taibi (08:17):
I'm sure there was times trying to think
specifically Okay, I think whenwe were working on our house,
like when we first moved in, ourhouse is like, very unfinished,
the whole master bedroom wasnot finished.
So this was also another thing.
It was just like when we arefinished not re-renovating,

(08:37):
because it was just unfinishedwhen we were finished doing the
construction in our bedroom.

Denise Jackson (08:42):
It was like let's start fostering.
So like it was all based onthat again, like when we
finished the project and thatproject was huge.

Kristin Taibi (08:49):
I mean, it took I think like six, seven months to
finish it, yeah um.
So I remember at first tryingto rush through like oh, gotta
get going, let's go, let's go,and, like you know, it would
just cause conflict between us,though like I was pushing him
too hard and he he's been likeconcussed in the past, oh, and

(09:11):
so his, his mind or I don't knowsomething in his brain.
Basically, he pushes too hard,he can get like dizzy and just
doesn't feel good and he needsto like take a break.

Denise Jackson (09:23):
So like it doesn't help anything, it just
delays it even more yeah, and sothat's really interesting
because, like I, I didn't have agood reason for Lee delaying
and I'm always the one that'slike let's go, let's go right
now.
Yeah, I don't know if that's awoman thing or if it's just
couples.
You know one of them is thatway and the other one is one's

(09:44):
ready to go and one's slower,and because God put us together,
we trust now that that's forour good.
But back when I was younger, itwas like what's going on?
I know the right answer.
It was so funny when I finallyrealized okay.
I didn.
I know the right answer.
It was so funny when I finallyrealized, okay, I didn't know

(10:05):
the right answer.
So that's good, because you'velearned over the years and over
the things you've gone throughand we all do we all learn and.
I guess what I want to say aboutrelationship and what God says
about this priest and kingconcept is God is our priest,
he's our king, he's our father,he's our defender, he's all the

(10:29):
things we need, but he broughtus together with this one person
, and that one person is ourcomplement, it fits us together.
It doesn't feel like it all thetime, but he knows what each
one of us needs to be fittedtogether one flesh perfectly,

(10:50):
you know, while we're walkingright, yeah, and so I trust not
Lee, even though I adore myhusband.
I trust the father that heknows what I need now.
Now I trust him.
I got in no way, yeah, I know I,even when I was saying I
trusted him, I wasn't trustinghim like I needed to trust him,

(11:14):
because I had to grow.
You know, he had to teach mesome things, but now I can see
so many places where his orderwas perfect, his timing was
perfect, and so I just pray thatthe timing will be perfect for
your children that are cominginto your home, that they will
be blessed, that you will beblessed, that your family, your

(11:37):
extended family, will be blessedin this situation.
extended family will be blessedin this situation.
Whatever happens in this, we'regoing to trust God, right,
we're going to trust each other,because he gives us these
friendships too, and they'rereally, really important for our
life and they build us up andthey encourage us when we're

(11:58):
really in hard places.
And so for you, missy, I justpray God's best, more than you
can ask or think Thank you somuch.

Kristin Taibi (12:07):
Yes, I definitely appreciate your prayers.
Yeah, and one thing I also justwanted to say like when we pray
for our husbands and you know,give it to God it's like amazing
to see God work in them and seeyour prayer answered, like it
builds your faith.

Denise Jackson (12:22):
It does, does.
Thank you for saying that itdoes.
That's how we know now yeah, iswe have that book of
remembrance?
Yeah, that's that way God hasworked in our life before, and
then, when we go through anotherhard time, yeah, we can trust
yeah yeah, because we willbecause we live in the air.

Kristin Taibi (12:37):
Yeah, we can remember that and be like I can
pray again for him and God willdo something that's right, or
maybe God will even do somethingin my heart that needs to
change, because that's been athing too, I know.

Denise Jackson (12:47):
So like there's a verse that says let the words
of my mouth and the meditationsof my heart be pleasing to God,
yeah, so for a long time I waspraying that for Lee.
One day God said you can prayfor you too.

Kristin Taibi (12:59):
That happened to me before the prayer too.
I'm like, oh, okay.

Denise Jackson (13:03):
And now what's so neat is Lee and I pray
together every morning, which Imean that's in the last few
years, but it wasn't.
We've been married 50 yearsthis week.
Wow, that's amazing, which is amiracle, because you know we
were like Happy anniversary, bythe way.
Happy thank you very much, youknow.

(13:26):
Yeah, thank you very much, um,but that, uh, is what's so good
about that verse, is that now heprays that for me?

Kristin Taibi (13:29):
and he prays that for him, and he prays it for
the people he works with.

Denise Jackson (13:31):
That's such a powerful verse.
The word of god is mighty.
Okay, we're gonna leave youwith that.
Um, I hope you have a wonderfulday.
Talk to you soon.