The Morning, La Mañana

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Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Hey there, St. teamers and supporters of Damian Riley
Music. We got that album coming out.
I'm so excited. I hope it's gonna be tomorrow.
There's already the rough draft.I call it that.
The plates that I sent Tattoo Encore, they're already up on
YouTube so you can check it out.The albums called Presente,
there's another one that's gone up recently called Gulbranson

(00:23):
you may not have heard yet. That one's pretty amazing.
I've got an AI band behind me ona lot of the songs and it's just
so fun. So anyway, waiting for Presente.
I had a little bit of a down today.
I'll be honest with you and my bipolar journey.
I've had a few, but this one waskind of getting me in the side a

(00:43):
little bit hard and I took a little walk out in the desert.
That's fine, you know, Thank God.
So I'm going to talk about that a little bit, so stick around,
OK? So for a couple months now I've
been working on 2 albums pretty seriously.

(01:04):
The most recent one is called Presente and I just submitted
what I call the Plate. That's kind of the final part of
a book. They used to call it the plates
that you put on an AB Dick machine spin it on a drum.
So I that's why I just called the place.
Anyways, I got the plates finished for Presente and I got

(01:27):
I got a really great AI band guy.
His name is Guy actually, but hewas going by choosing rocker and
I discovered his videos and discovered his name was Guy and
discovered he has a lot of talents and so hired him on for

(01:49):
these two albums. He he did like 3 with me on the
Gold Bronson, which already cameout about four months ago.
I want to say actually it might have even been last month.
I've been working like a madman on these records.
But then once it was done, I, I just felt something pulling me

(02:12):
to record this song. So I, I, you know, I sent him a
couple songs just kind of in themiddle of the night that I had
ideas about. And he came up with these most
amazing, like orchestral, Led Zeppelin, fucking metal, just
kick ass stuff that he sent me. Some of it I went back and

(02:32):
recorded my own vocal. Others I just kept the AI vocal
because the music is so fucking good.
So anyway, I'm really excited about where I'm at musically
right now, and this is part of my spirituality is my music for
sure. And I think music really is good
for everybody and I hope this album makes you feel good.
It's about an hour of music so I've been going to sleep to it

(02:57):
kind of at night before I sent in the plates about the plates
have done been sent in. I sent them in on the 2nd.
It's now the end of the 7th. So it's been 5 days.
They sent it back once for slow copyright issue change.
I fixed it and then send it backto them.

(03:17):
Now I'm just waiting. So I'm thinking tomorrow but I'm
having a little anxiety because you know I live alone and right
now I'm in between girlfriends and hand tent and an album
coming out. No, I just, I'm just kidding,
Brown. I'm so happy about myself.
That's a whole different topic. We we should get into maybe next

(03:39):
episode. But for this one, I want to talk
about the morning. We are just a, a rock of lava in
the middle and different kinds of igneous and all kinds of, I
mean all kinds of rock, not justigneous.
But you know, the Indians used Obsidian to make arrows,

(04:00):
arrowheads, and then they would hunt for their food with those
arrowheads. So the Earth has given back to
mankind. But, you know, I think the
American Indians are the, there's no telling how long
they've been here, you know, in California and all the way down
to Mexico. If it's on the West Coast, then

(04:23):
the indigenous people are the Indians, you know, you know
that, right? I mean, the Aztecs, the Mayans,
the Cherokee, the Navajo, you know, just list goes on and on
and on. We America has only been here.
You know what are what year is it now?
It's a 1776 is when we signed the Declaration of Independence

(04:46):
to Levi King, which now we have a king again.
You know, think of that. How did we let that happen?
We didn't the Republicans did Well, let's not make it
political because I think what Ihave to say is good for any
human. If you have a brain and a spinal
cord, this should help you. OK in your quest morning.

(05:10):
Something happens when we go to sleep.
I heard Esther Hicks talking about once about how, you know,
we have our vortex and we have our our vibration and we try to
maintain high vibrations and think of things that we really
like is one way to get to a highvibration.

(05:31):
And that's where your dreams come true.
That's where the soul lives. You know, that's where they call
it, the observer effect, the thesoul or the observer, whatever
you want to call it, the part ofus that that is eternal, that
was eternal before this physicalbody, this form, and will be
eternal after this form. You know, that's what I'm

(05:53):
talking about. That kind of goes into It Goes
to Sleep too. If you want to call it momentum,
like I've been having momentum towards this album.
That's why I mentioned it to youand gave you a little bit of the
history of what's happening withme because that's all I do now
is make music a subbed. My first year in 1994, I was 24

(06:20):
years old. I've subbed all over.
I've worked in several school districts, but mostly 17 years
and all until school district three years in Santa Ana Unified
School District, which is one ofthe biggest school districts in
California. People don't realize that it's
nothing like LA Unified. LA Unified is probably like 6

(06:42):
different districts that are puttogether into one.
But Santa Ana was a definite institutional experience.
And if you read my book Bipolar Professional, you know that I
took a break from life after three years of doing that,
working at a school that they literally called the prison
Century High School. They call it the prison.

(07:02):
The kids called it the present teachers, you know, sometimes
called the prison, but it's justmade out of concrete that had a
bunch of, you know, it looked like the wall down in San
Antonio, you know, separating Mexico from the supposed blessed
land of ours, the maggot land. Anyway, I'm sorry, I don't mean
to get political. Let's talk about the morning

(07:23):
because whether you're, you know, one of these maggot
extremists or you're somewhere in the middle, you're human.
And that's why I do this stuff. That's why I make music.
You're the, you're the catchers Mitt for what I do, you know, so
I don't want to put you down or anything, but I, I really like a
lot of people and I, I don't even have to say if I checked, I

(07:44):
think I'd find out because I already know that people are
just like, this is like the, youknow, the stock market crash in
1928. You know, it's this could be a
depression. You know, it's very, there's
very valid reasons for being upset and for being sad right
now, but let's not get too into that because I want to give you

(08:09):
hope, OK? So let's say the, the structure
of people getting kidnapped is really bothering you.
And you're just like, Oh my God,people are getting kidnapped.
How many people? And I want, you know, they call
me white. I am not white.
I am part Cherokee Indian. I am, you know, part black.
I am part Mexican. I am part Irish.

(08:31):
I am not white, OK? And I, I, I'm one of those white
people. He's not proud of that, being
white. So I, I like to learn about
other cultures, you know, and I like to the style of music that
I now call myself. I don't think I listed it on

(08:52):
this album, but going forward isworld's musician.
I wanna do world's music. I don't wanna do American Music.
I've done American Music my whole life.
I played, you know, a clean, white, glossy blonde Telecaster,
which is about as American as itlooks.
I, I saw it on a beer commercialwhen I was a kid and just wanted

(09:16):
it and got one for my birthday and I was like 14 or 15.
And that's what I played. Actually had the Aria guitar
before that. But anyway, about 17, I think I
got it. It was just perfect timing
because I got an A band which you hear on my album, which is
available streaming on all services except SoundCloud.

(09:36):
I'm working on that. Anybody at SoundCloud wanna
contact me? Please do.
I played that guitar at a band called the Resolution in San
Juan Capistrano. I was from Mission Viejo, and I
drove my car when I turned 16, got, you know, over the last
Lions house. They called them the Lions Den.
He was a bass player. Brad Wadsworth was a drummer.

(09:59):
Dan Gallagher was the singer fora little while.
And then it was Mike Lockmiller.But I never really connected
with either of those guys. I don't really think they liked
me. But we made music.
I wrote. I mean, I'm not going to say I
wrote, I wrote most of it. I mean, Lance brought some great
tunes, Mike had a few tunes. But you know, when I listen to

(10:20):
those old records and there's like there's at least 15 songs,
I think there's about 17 we recorded, 2 are lost.
Anybody has them? One of those live tapes we made
with the Ghetto Blaster just recording are so good at
parties. I'd love to get a hold of some
of those. I know Brad has them.
But you know, last I talked to Brad, he wasn't really into rock

(10:42):
music anymore, so I don't reallywant to bother him.
But if anybody knows where any of those bootleg resolution
albums are, I would love to get my hands on them.
In fact, I'll publish them. I'll put them online so other
people can enjoy them. But for now, if you want to hear
that first band, I was in the American Music Band, it was it's
called Electrico, the the Spanish word for electric,

(11:07):
because it's really about that guitar to me.
It's about, you know, what that guitar meant to me at that age.
And that's what that that is. And and so, yeah.
So fast forwarding and I'll go ahead and wrap this up, but how
are you? Are you doing OK?
Sometimes this time of day is hard for me.

(11:29):
When I was younger they diagnosed with bipolar.
I wrote a book about it called Bipolar Professional.
You can buy it have a ship to you for $20.00.
I put a lot of truth in there. I think it's worth every penny.
I have some other books there you can check out.
There's one in there called Surplus that actually I think
could make you money cause it's about changing your attitude and

(11:50):
the law of attraction. But about this time of day, I, I
kind of feel that disorder sometimes creep in on me.
And don't get me wrong, they'll be days.
I got my little gecko lizard on my shoulder and I'm watching a
show I like and I'm, you know, I'm drinking soda or, or, you
know, a Starbucks drink. I made me stop with a little

(12:13):
sugar and coconut. And I'm just loving my life a
lot. And in fact, most nights are
like that. But tonight was different.
Tonight I felt lonely. Tonight I felt bummed out, you
know, but one thing that I've been learning in my practice and
notice I didn't say in my Bible study with my accountability
brother, you notice I didn't useany Christian language.

(12:35):
I used Buddhist language. I said in my practice, because
life is an infinite, infinite experience really is.
We came into it infinite, we leave it infinite.
I mean this gonna probably piss a lot of American Christians off
even though I am one too. I just think I'm a lot more open

(12:56):
to other eastern type thoughts. But there is no birth, there is
no death. OK?
We are, we are, we are. And I think the passages of the
Bible where they use the first person you know, if you talk in
Spanish, it says * it's to be. It's it's it's the to be verb
and it's I am and people, you know, the 2000 year old

(13:23):
religion, the Bible, you know, say OHP, that's God saying he is
eternal. But I think we are.
I know we are, and so when my eternal soul is kind of down,
which tonight it is, it was, it's better.
I like doing this. I don't.
I don't really have too many friends I can fight in and if I

(13:44):
do, they get sick of me calling them and talking to them for an
hour or so. I do podcast.
So you're my friend right now. You're listening.
I'm even, it's even been described that I present that
way as just like a friend sitting around having a couple
of espresso and in Kiev, you know, have you seen Kiev?
Oh my God, I feel like I want tojust finish my days in Ukraine.

(14:07):
Man So beautiful. You should go on YouTube.
Look up Kiev, a walk through Kiev, the other one I saw
tonight and it just shows all the young ladies giggling and
their beautiful dresses and justI mean it's like it looks like
any city looks like an American city.
But that's kind of what I'm about and I'm usually really

(14:30):
happy guy. Most people that know me know
that my kids know that my ex-wife knows that my women I've
dated know that people that you know have been close to me know
that hopefully. But I'm really positive guy like
tonight I gotta down for a little big time.
And so first thing I did was take a nap.
But then you know, woke up from the nap or did my dishes I
cleaned up. It helps to clean for me a

(14:51):
little bit sometimes or not clean to say, OK, I'm not gonna
clean anything. But tonight it was nice to just
organize my dishes and then tooka little walk out of the desert.
I've a little place out there where I smoke and just kind of
sit. It's kind of a hole actually.
It's really neat. Sometimes I do guitar out there.
You guys are probably seeing videos.
I mean, out there in the brush. That's where I'm at.
Someone out there, I just kind of started thinking one thing

(15:13):
that really helps me is to remember I'm on a planet.
You know, they say there's 300 trillion galaxies.
So good God, that's not 300 trillion planets, that's 300
trillion galaxies. And even the stars in the
Galaxy, I think, are impossible to count.
So that's my point. My point is I had it down.
I started thinking, you know what?

(15:34):
I'm just a creature on the planet.
I'm like a lizard on a planet trying to find his dinner,
trying to find crickets. And I'm doing pretty good, you
know, And I do have a guardian Angel.
His name is Dane. We're writing a book now.
We're writing, actually writing a screenplay.
Dame and Dane visit the Holy Land.
We're going to kind of make it like a little Bible storybook.

(15:55):
I'm also writing a children's book with my daughter, Isabella.
She signed on yesterday. She's going to do the
illustrations. We call One Go and it's about a
father and a daughter, and I said she agreed to do it with
me. It was going to be about a
father or son, but I just changed it to the daughter.
It could be about anybody. There probably will be other
children in the book, but it's mostly about the father and the

(16:17):
daughter. And he's able to shorten all her
tasks by telling her if she plans ahead she can do it in one
go, right? Instead of like 5 goes.
That's what one goal means. So anyway, the twist is at the
end like this. To me this is what's going to
make it such a fun bedtime book for kids and stuff.

(16:39):
I used to love all the bedtime stories my parents wrote me and
Shady Glade. Farewell to Shady Glade is so
amazing. Sylvester and the Magic Pebble
by William Steig is so amazing. He's the other of Shrek.
Um, but anyway, in this story turns around at the end and

(17:00):
after the Bernstein Bears type dad is showing the little girl
how to do basic things like makecoffee and do you can do it all
in one go sweetheart. And should one go 1?
You get the idea. In an Australia, I've heard him
say one guy, you know, so we're gonna put that in there, ask,
make it like an Australian. They're gonna be Kangaroos.

(17:21):
But anyway, I'm excited about this, so I hope you don't mind
me. Just tell I'm trying to make
these 30 minutes so I'm just filling up a little more time.
Anyway, in the end, the little girl looks up at her dad and she
sees him, I don't know, tying his tie or doing something that
you know, is taking a lot of goes.

(17:44):
And she looks at her and she helps him and she says, look,
daddy, you can do it in one go. So it's called one go.
Anyway, that's what we're working on there.
So as you can see, when I say I'm working on things, there's a
really great things and everything that I work on is
like the result of about 100 or 1000 thoughts.
Some I wrote down. I'm starting to not write things
down as much because I find thatthe stuff congeals and the ideas

(18:08):
are ultimately better when you're not always using energy
writing it down. But the key thing is energy.
If your energy can go to these good ideas and you trust your
brain, which a lot of people don't, and as you get older, it
is harder to trust your brain. But I say bring on the
Alzheimer's, bring on whatever. I got what I got.

(18:28):
And I'm not going to stress out trying to write everything down
and follow all these instructions so I don't lose my
mind. You know what I mean?
I'd rather just lose it. Be honest with you.
Anyway, so we're working on one go doing a lot of things.
I just finished this album and Ihad, I think I had anxiety cause
it's been yesterday at 2:00 in the morning they kicked it back

(18:50):
to me and they said you've got 2songs that are called I know one
of them is live. One of them is a newer version.
It's the song I know that you guys all know and love.
And I play every time I play somewhere live I always play.
I know because it's my little Bohemian Rhapsody about my
divorce, but not really about mydivorce.
It's more about Christ and just,you know, finding that out

(19:14):
within and that gets to my pointin the morning.
So I'll just anyway, a little anxiety because they kicked it
back and now I'm waiting again and it's 10 songs and they're
beautiful as a beautiful cover with money on it, with a
personal meaning. And it's called presente.
And that's what my spirituality is about, being present.

(19:34):
So it's a really, it took everything I was to make it.
I started to lose my mind. I was working with a partner
too, which I usually don't do. I usually just do it by myself
and whenever I want to do stuff or make updates, I just do.
But this time I had Guy Thrasher, who was also called
Choosing Rocker. His name is Guy.

(19:56):
I pressed him on, he said that was really my name.
But anyway, I just paid him for his services.
He's great. He's a paid member of my bed and
he's in Indonesia where, you know, the first thought, one of
the first songs by the second orthird song that I wrote.
About 2000, end of 2021, I decided that I wasn't gonna be a

(20:17):
commoner, that I was gonna lay down some music and I was gonna
put it online and I was gonna ride the horse as if, you know,
I was gonna like really feel that vibration that I was a rock
star, you know. And I started thinking that way
more like a songwriter, singer, not so much star, but that comes
with it. It's got a nice neat, you know,

(20:38):
it's fun. I always wanted to be on the
other side of the records. You know, I listen to Johnny
Marr and shit for that matter. John Denver and his little kid
Kenny Rogers, R.E.M., the Alarm,You know, the bongos, numbers
with wings, all the amazing stuff.
B Movie Nowhere Girl, all the amazing stuff that came out in
the 80s and the Caro Que Los Angeles.

(21:01):
Actually, I think it was Pasadena.
I don't know where that station was, but I learned a lot of my
music from that station. Brought down the rock,
introduced me to the alarm. Doctor Demento introduced me to
R.E.M. I mean, you know, I don't know
who introduced me to ACDC, but Iused to love ACDC too.
Dirty deeds done dirt cheap and all that.

(21:21):
So anyway, let's wrap this and get to the lessons.
Here's the lesson. I don't really believe in
lessons anymore. I'm no longer a teacher.
I retired after upwards of 30 years of teaching human beings,
spinal cords and brains. And I think a lot of people
connected with the universe thatway, into literature and math
and everything they needed whatever.

(21:41):
It's hard to teach, but the whole time I felt like I was
wearing a mask that was really not me, and what I'm doing now
is me. So that's another reason I'm
just so excited about this albumcalled Presente.
We can check it out. Let me know what you think.
I sure would appreciate it beingretired now just only doing this

(22:02):
and not having a girlfriend. And you know my kids are all
moved out. My youngest is 18 now so they're
all grown up but they do sometimes come over.
Hopefully they're coming over inthe 15th.
Fingers crossed. Knock on wood but I did set it
up without my asking if they could make it.
If they can't we'll pick anothernight.
But I'm trying to do like a dad night with the kids.

(22:24):
Like my ex-wife is no longer my partner, my friend anymore, so I
don't really even know her. When I talked to her, I'm like,
who are you? You're not the one that I knew.
So, you know, life does that sometimes your path just they
digress. They go different ways and it
hurts if you're attached. But here's the thing.
Let's say you're hurt and you'reattached.

(22:45):
So I'm going to bring it in now.I know I've been beating around
the Bush, but there's something fucking miraculous about every
morning, OK? No matter how dark things may
seem or how lonely you feel or how embarrassed or whatever it
is, Oh my God, I can't believe Isaid that to my neighbor.

(23:08):
I can't believe I said that to my work colleague.
I can't believe I did this. I can't believe I did that.
I can't believe I haven't done anything or inactivity.
All these things, they weigh on you.
And when you have bipolar, you don't have a thermostat for your
emotions. That's what bipolar is.
You can shoot up, you can shoot down.
You go into a manic episode, youcan go into very serious

(23:30):
depression, which I've experienced it all.
It's all in my book. Bipolar professional.
Go buy it right now. Lulu.com lulu.com Type in
Bipolar Professional by Damian Riley.
Order it. It'll be shipped there also.
There's also an ebook. I made an ebook that you can get
instantly. It would help if my street team

(23:53):
out there read this book becausethen I wouldn't have to be
explaining so much stuff. But brother, sister, you look
real cute in that dress. When you wake up in the morning,
be ready because there's a resetthat happens.
And and even Esther Hicks, who is so in the momentum and she

(24:19):
does like speed journals while she write down all these things
that she loves, she doesn't callthem speed journals, but Brown
page, that's what she calls themround Page.
All that stuff is real. And you do need to keep your
momentum going. But when you sleep, it stops.
And I don't know if it's something that happens
internally or if it's actually something in the planet that has

(24:41):
evolved where we feel the sun and we see the sun come up and
miracles occur in our psyche andour soul and our eternal soul.
And we are encouraged. So just hang on.
You know, so many great songs that are based on that
terminology. If you feel bad at night.

(25:04):
And this is for bipolars too. Real serious.
I hope you take it seriously. I hope you take your lithium
cause you gotta keep that emotional thermostat at about
70° because the Fahrenheit because if it's our shooting up
and you start getting really manic, you can go through what I
went through. I had to be hospitalized for 30

(25:24):
days. So just talking nonsense and you
can lose track of your brain as a bipolar.
So just chill. Meditation is great.
I got so many great meditation teachers.
I always want to just open them up on YouTube.
I probably will eventually, but there's hundreds of them.

(25:44):
And The thing is, YouTube has kind of become my Home Office,
you know, where people figure meout my profile there and stuff.
So if I have a bunch of other peoples encouraging, you know,
consciousness secretly type stuff, Jessica Heslop, you know,
got some that I just freaking love tick, not Hon tat tat.

(26:09):
They call them Tie THAY as my grandfather's name on Riley
side. This all these miracles, you
know, But if I put them out there, then people go see who
Damian Riley is, they'll click on that and they'll get all
sidetracked into that. And I don't make any money.
So now it's sort of a business. I can't really share like I used
to share. So the solution is go to my

(26:32):
blog, that's where I share stuff, and we'll tell the day I
die. I've been a Blogger since God I
wanna say 1996. You know, when I started making
one on Geocities and everybody were heard?
Geocities that I've gone throughit all.
I remember 2008 Facebook came out, I told, you know, my my at
that time my wife's mother aboutit and she says, well, I don't

(26:55):
want the government having my information.
Now she's on Facebook every day,you know, So yeah.
So I just, I've seen many thingscome and go in this Angels
field, this wonderful life. And I can tell you no matter how
lonely you feel, no amount of going on Facebook or getting
likes or setting up gigs or evenhaving an album released, none

(27:18):
of that is going to make you happy.
The only person that can make you happy is you.
And you do that by going in. And I hope you'll go back and
listen to the episode, I think it was two or three episodes ago
called Going In. And that stuff is really
important. Excuse me, I just sneezed.

(27:40):
The morning will hit you like a laser beam, friend, so just hang
in there. Sleeping is not my Forte.
I don't know what to tell you about sleeping.
I could tell you being retired is very helpful with the
sleeping issues because if I do feel a little insomnia rather
than swallow a bunch of sleepingpills, you know, not not to kill

(28:04):
myself, but you know, say you'resupposed to take two, then I'll
take three. You know those horrible nights.
I think you can really, I don't have to do that anymore because
I can just lay there and breatheand just watch a show or do
nothing. Just sit in silence and
meditate, you know, with God andJesus and read stuff Buddha said

(28:26):
and, you know, have those wonderful just internal love.
Just I love Damien and my my guardian angels always with me.
He's always giving me positives.He Pats me on the back.
He's hand is huge. He's a really big guy, but he
taps me real lightly on the backwhen I do something like when
this album comes out, I'm sure I'll feel that hand tap and

(28:48):
he'll say good job. Damn, you know, So I'm really
glad to have him. But I have anybody else, really.
So I think I've sort of been shielded from other people.
I don't really want any other people in my life, you know, I
wanna help people, but I can't help people unless I'm full
here. And I just heard Shen Yang Ye.

(29:11):
I think this is his name. He's great.
I know him really well. I just don't know his name.
But he's another motivational guy, spiritual guy, and he's
kind of a Kung Fu guy, I think. But anyway, he says you just get
to a point where certain things in your life where you just have
to say and it helps to say it. I will not have this in my life

(29:33):
anymore. And I've been hurt so many times
by by a few women. Not all I want to say women in
general in women are wonderful. Have a lot of women friends,
have women around me all the time.
Occasionally I hook up with a woman.
But you know, being married for 19 years, I learned that I can
never make anybody happy if theydon't wanna go that route.

(29:56):
You know what I mean? What?
I'm not even talking about the route of me.
I'm about the route of happiness, and if they've got an
idea that's different and not inthe same wavelength, then I need
to let them go. And that's what my song I Know
is about. It used to be called Man in the
Middle. Now it's called I Know.
If you listen to it, it's sort of the story of my divorce, but
it's more of the story of Jesus.I think that's how I started
this whole episode. So it's a good way to go out

(30:17):
that way. But remember, it's dark, but the
darkest time is always right before the morning.
I love you guys. Hang in there.
Also bite me.