May 22, 2025 • 22 mins
Tired of feeling like you have to choose between success and a fulfilling personal life? You’re not alone, and Mel Cunningham, founder of Now and Zenergy, is here to prove that you don’t have to choose at all. On this episode of the Scaling Up Success podcast, Mel shares insights from six years of coaching high-achieving professionals, revealing a powerful truth: it’s entirely possible to thrive in both business and life. Her journey as a coach has evolved from structured systems to deeply personalized approaches that spark real transformation. One of her most impactful offerings? Immersive retreats that help ambitious leaders unplug, reconnect with their true selves, and rediscover what truly matters.
Mel dives into the power of the "inner game", emphasizing the importance of self-awareness over external tactics. She challenges the conventional narrative around success, highlighting how comparison, especially in corporate settings and on social media, leads to unnecessary stress and self-doubt. Instead, she champions authentic leadership rooted in self-knowledge and purpose. Her message is especially resonant for entrepreneurs and women: stay true to yourself, surround yourself with the right support, and seek mentors who’ve walked the path before you. If you’re ready to stop hustling at the expense of your wellbeing, this episode offers a new lens for building success from the inside out. Connect with Mel on social media @nowandzenergy or visit melcunningham.com to learn more.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
What's up everybody.
This is Ryan Van Orden.
I'm back with another episodeof Scaling Up Success podcast
Today.
I have Mel Cunningham on ourpodcast today.
Mel, how are you today?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I'm great, thank you.
I'm happy to be here.
Thanks, ryan.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Absolutely.
We're super excited to havethis conversation with you.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Tell us a little bit about Now and Zenergy, with a
lot of highly ambitious, highachieving professionals, as well
as entrepreneurs who are, whoare tired of the the constant
hustle and the struggle oftrying to or having to choose
right, be having to choosebetween the success and having a
(00:57):
personal, personal life,personal fulfillment, and so it
I actually.
Just the other day, I justrealized I'm coming up on my
sixth year anniversary and it'sbeen a passion project for me,
because all of the things that Iuse in my coaching practice are
things that helped me, you know, rebuild and build a life that
I truly love and desire.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
That's super cool.
One of the things like I meanbeing in the business for six
years.
Now you did you have you seenyour business evolve?
Speaker 2 (01:27):
It's definitely evolved a lot.
You know, I actually just hadthat conversation.
I myself work with coaches,right, and I actually just had
that conversation with my coachof where and the evolution of my
business from the verybeginning to where it is today,
because it really is now a veryall-inclusive, very highly
touchpoint, customized program,really meeting my clients where
(01:50):
they're at.
And you know, I would say likeone of the biggest things is,
when I first started my business, it was all about the system or
the process, like right, like Ihave one, like there was one
way I was going to coach, right,and we all need systems and
processes, right.
But I think really the tweakthat I made is really being able
to make it very customizable towho I'm working with, which
(02:14):
then allows for deepertransformations.
You know, because you know,when we follow one system and
we've all been there right,especially, you know, as
business owners, you know wefind one thing that somebody is
doing and we're like, okay, I'mgoing to do that, and then we
try to emulate that and what maywork for one person may not
work for the other.
And that's the part where I seeis really being able to take my
(02:35):
clients much deeper and to beable to, you know, support them
in that bigger transformationhas really been the big change
for me because I just thinkabout you know I had one
offering that I offered at youknow when I first began my
business and now it's justevolved in this, you know,
beautiful collection of you know, different ways that I can
support um not only in business,but then also um personally as
(02:58):
well.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Well, I mean, some of the things that you offer are
just pretty incredible stuff.
Like I, we've had manydiscussions over this, but tell
us a little, tell us theaudience a little bit about like
these retreats that you offer.
It's pretty incredible stuffthat you have going on.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Yeah, thank you.
The retreats are magical, youknow.
I just think that the retreats,you know, think about it.
We're all busy, you know, intoday's world and we're all
hustling, we're trying to doeverything and most often I talk
to people and they're like Idon't have time to take time off
, I don't have time for that.
I'll make that time when theymeet some sort of achievement or
(03:37):
goal, and that's great andthat's who I used to be.
And the wonderful thing aboutretreats is really being able to
, you know, be, take yourselfout of your current environment
and be unplugged and be in anenvironment to really it's all
about you.
And now that can.
That can be very exhilaratingand it can be very scary at the
(03:58):
same time, right.
But one thing I mean I just gotback from a retreat and time
and time again is people areamazed at how, how much they
learn about themselves, right?
Because when we quiet the noisearound us and we unplug from
the daily chaos and everythingdistractions that are coming
(04:20):
about, we can really, in thatsilence and in that presence, we
really start to understand whowe are.
And that's one of the biggestthings that I help my clients do
is really get clear on who theyare, who they want to be and
what may be blocking them,stopping them from doing that.
Because oftentimes in theday-to-day we don't have the
(04:41):
time to sit there and ponderthat.
We may reflect, we may have amoment of that, but then we go
on to the hustle right.
And so, with the retreats,being able to be really
disconnected, unplugged, be in amagical setting, to where it's
really about you, and it's abouttaking care of yourself, it's
about being out in nature we allknow how powerful being in
(05:03):
nature is.
We have movement, we have, youknow, reflections.
There's so many differentopportunities to really really
dive in and learn more about whoyou are, and from that then you
can.
Because so often when peoplecome off retreat, they're like
okay, you know, here's somethingI'm going to change.
Like the biggest thing is issomebody just said this the
(05:24):
other day is they're likere-entry is a real thing and I'm
like it is so true, like it'sso true because you know we get
into that zone and we're likeokay, this is great, this is
wonderful, I don't have all ofthat, you know.
Like coming at me, but then assoon as you leave retreat, it's
all coming back at you.
So how do you make thattransition and hold on to those
(05:49):
things that you, you started tofind out about yourself, those
changes that you want to createin your life?
And so that's the part that Ithink is so magical about
retreats is because it reallygives you that, that opportunity
to be truly present and reallyfind out like you know, coming
back to yourself, like who am I,what do I want, and then that
makes you better when you're outin the world doing your
business, doing you know.
Coming back to yourself likewho am I, what do I want, and
(06:10):
then that makes you better whenyou're out in the world doing
your business, doing you know,spending time with family, all
of that.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
That that's phenomenal and there's so many
like when, when you pullyourself out of the day-to-day
grind and then, like you said,the noise kind of quiets a
little bit and you're able tolike reassess and, you know,
reengage on who you want to be,not like like, I'm just not the
(06:38):
parent, I'm just not the C-suiteexecutive, you know, like all
these labels that we have to puton ourselves, and you become
you.
You get to be who you want tobe during that time.
You get to be who you want tobe during that time.
I think that's really aninspirational type of way of
looking at it Like I canactually be, get back to who I
(06:58):
need to be.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Right, yeah, and you bring up a great point, ryan,
about labels, because,especially like ambitious
hustlers you know all of us thatare running businesses in that
I mean we do put labels onourselves and we identify with
those labels.
And those labels are allexternal, right and really what
really matters and what createsthe change in our life is when
we do that, that inner game,when we start doing that inner
(07:23):
work and we start changing, umand addressing who we truly are,
because who we truly are isdeep down in there.
But oftentimes, you know, withthe way life is, you know we
lead everything by the external.
So with those labels like thatis so true because we become
oftentimes to what other peoplethink we should become too Right
(07:45):
, and so we're always trying toto validate what others think we
should be doing or how weshould be doing it or how we
should be showing up.
So with that is I mean, that'swhat I think is one of the most
powerful pieces of the retreatis really getting connected with
who you are, because often,especially as adults you know
kids are great at this Adults wejust kind of go on autopilot
(08:09):
and we just go through the day.
We're like we're just trying toget through that day, um, with
all the to-dos and all of that,and so being able to just be
quiet and sit and reflect onthat.
It is so powerful and I see ittime and time again.
How you know again, you're not.
You didn't get where you're attoday overnight and you're not
going to change it overnight.
(08:30):
It's those small little thingsthat you can.
You know, start to number one,create that awareness around and
then to start making thoseshifts.
That's how you start tocompound that and change that,
and then that becomes a bigger,bigger impact for you overall.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
I agree.
And like the thing that I kindof see is like, um, the?
The analogy that I use is likeyou know, like your emotional
wellbeing is not like a Ferrari,it's more like an aircraft
carrier.
Like you can't turn that thingon a dime, like it takes, it
takes time to to slowly turn it,and then then eventually you
get to where you want to be, butit takes day after day.
(09:07):
In that that positive self-talk, because a lot of times you
know we're our harshest critic,would you agree?
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yes, oh yeah, definitely.
I mean we do have those innercritics that are constantly
running around and like ouremotions come from.
You know, we have emotions,thoughts, feelings, and all of
that is driven by what'shappening in our mind.
Like you know, we actually havetwo minds.
We have an ego mind, a rightmind, and our ego mind is
usually the mind that, you know,it's like, if you think about
(09:34):
it, it's like that consciousmind, it's that logic mind, it's
always, it's it's the loudestaspect of it, but it's really
the, the quiet.
The right mind, that is the mindthat is with our like, aligned
with our heart and our true self, right.
And so when we can really startto tap into that, because the
(09:54):
ego mind will go with thefamiliar, we'll go with what's
the normal, and you know,anytime that we want to step out
of that normal box, thatcomfort zone for us, it's going
to, you know, start feeding usthose thoughts.
Oh, like, why would you want todo that?
Oh, you can't do that, you'venever done that, and so those
are the things where then wehear that and then we allow that
(10:22):
to impact whether or not wechoose to move forward or do
that thing or show up, bevisible in our business, and so
when we can really start tounderstand that and it starts
with that, about gettingconnected with who you are and
you know, being able toacknowledge because, because we,
we have fear or because we'relike oh, I don't know, this
could be a big jump for me.
It doesn't mean we shouldn't doit.
It's an opportunity for us tounderstand, like, what is that
(10:42):
triggering for us and why isthat triggering for us and in
that time, we also have theopportunity to shift that and
change that and be like, yeah,that's who I was.
Because, again to your pointright, Our emotions are not who
we are.
Again, we put labels on themand we're like that's just how
we are, that's just how it is.
No, that's a label.
We're not, they're a piece ofus.
(11:04):
They're not who we are.
So we have the ability to shiftand change that no-transcript
(11:34):
what you've had inside thisbusiness.
Well, I think you know what I,first of all, I think I'm just
lucky that I get to do what I dobecause I it's truly my passion
to help support others actuallylive a life that they love, you
know, and I think you know theevolution of it and being able
to, you know, grow it from whereit was.
(11:56):
I mean, cause, right, like, weall start a business or we start
something and we're like youknow, we were like who am I to
do this?
Right, and I think the biggestthing, that the differentiator
for me is just, um, I've livedthis thing.
That the differentiator for meis just, I've lived this.
I know what it's like to live alife where you know, you give
everything to that identity oflike this is who I am and you
(12:20):
know, and it looks like you havethis perfect, great, wonderful
life, and so I know what that'slike and I know what it's like
to crash and burn.
So I appreciate and I'm sopassionate about helping people
understand that that's not theway.
There is a different way andthat you can have both of them
and so just being able to evolvethe business and see the
(12:42):
different ways that I can createimpact, because I work
one-on-one and I also work withteams, with corporate teams as
well.
I mean, you know, the biggestthing I mean we all, some way,
somehow we're working.
You know, a team could be afamily.
A team could be somebody thatyou're working with in the
professional environment, andit's all about how are we
working together, how are wesupporting each other?
(13:02):
So just evolving with that andseeing that, seeing the impact,
that when we really start to getclear on some things and we
start to that, I guess, stuffthat's not really in our control
or the stuff that's coming atus because of the world, when we
can step back from that andhelping people understand that
(13:24):
and see that they actually havea lot more power.
Because what I see so often iswe all give up our power and I
mean that's who I was and sobeing able to really step into
that presence and be able tohelp show other people that hey,
there is a different way and,quite honestly, most often it's
not as challenging or difficultas you think it is and those
(13:47):
things other than you know Ialways talk about.
It's a combination of likeenergy, mindset, strategy and
lifestyle and, honestly,strategy is probably the part we
spend the least amount of timewith, because it's not about
doing, it's about being.
So I'm so proud of the factthat, like being able to you
(14:08):
know, help and support others,to see that and see that there
is a different way.
I mean, like I said, I justfeel that I'm lucky and I enjoy
doing this and I enjoy seeingthe difference that it makes,
because I see it on so manylevels.
Because even when I, forexample, if I work with somebody
one-on-one, it's not just themthat are impacted, it's those
(14:28):
around them that are impacted.
And so being able to help,support that and really make
that change, that's, I mean,it's my passion, it's what I
live for.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
I absolutely love that and that it's so critical
because it it you, you exude itand just when you talk, you can
hear the passion coming out fromexactly you know what you bring
to the table with your, withyour clientele.
So that's fantastic and thankyou for sharing that.
One of the one of the thingsthat that I've seen a lot
probably in like I mean the lastcouple of years, especially
(15:02):
since COVID and stuff like thatis this almost like this, like
de-evolution of positive impactwith technology, especially with
social media.
I one of the things that I Ireally grasped towards is this
concept of like uh, don'tcompare your insides to people's
outsides.
Can you talk more about thatand how it affects people in, uh
(15:25):
, in in the corporate world,because you know we're always
chasing that next wrong right,that next wrong on the ladder.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Yeah, no, that's a great question and I mean I
totally agree with you,especially with social media and
really with with the state ofwhat.
And, like you said, I reallyfeel like things really shifted
after COVID.
Right, and first of all, one ofthe biggest things that changed
is we.
We, we started going more, likeyou know, we started working by
(15:54):
ourselves.
Right, we started creating thisseparation amongst people.
You know and like, for example,my past career was, I mean, I
was out and about, I always seenclients doing that and it was
like if you weren't out in thefield, if you weren't connecting
with people, you weren't doingyour job.
And then with COVID, thatshifted and changed.
And then with social media, Imean, everywhere you look you
(16:22):
are, something is being thrownat you to compare yourself with,
and it goes back to what youwere mentioning too before these
labels is like we have become asociety of comparison and that
really messes with our internalmindset as well as what's
happening within us, what we arehearing, like you know, whether
or not we feel we are capableof doing something, and so
(16:43):
really, what I work on, one ofthe things that I see that is
most helpful is we have to getstrong with who we are inside,
so that we can also recognizethat that external stuff isn't
us, because and the thing isthat I would say is like it's
not easy to separate ourselvesfrom that, like society doesn't
(17:05):
make it easy for us.
So we have to consciously makethat decision, and that's the
piece where I think the biggestshift happens is when you get
really clear and you're reallyconfident and you stand into the
power of who you are.
Then you can separate yourselffrom that noise and you can
understand that that compare,that's just you know, just
because they are.
That doesn't mean and it's hardthough, because I see it in
(17:27):
corporate, like special, I mean.
And the other thing is I see,sometimes too, like I work with
a lot of, I work with both menand women, but I work a lot with
women, and one of the things,especially in the corporate
environment, is this comparison.
So not only do you have thecomparison of the person who's,
you know, your direct, maybecounterpart, but then you have
the comparison of male andfemale dynamic as well, and
(17:48):
being able to what I have foundis the one thing that can create
that change and allow you to beable to navigate that through
from a place of empowerment iswhen you know who you truly are
is when you know who you trulyare and when you are confident
in that self and you know withteams.
The other thing I see too is youknow a lot of leaders.
It kind of backfires actually,and this might get a little
(18:12):
pushback right, but it kind ofbackfires because leaders are.
Leaders want to pit employees,team members, against each other
because they think by doingthat it will create more of an
influence and desire to dobetter right and they'll get
more output from their employees.
And I'm here to tell you itactually has a reverse effect on
(18:34):
it.
So when we can really know whowe are and that's why, like I
said, it's as leaders in acorporation it's your
responsibility to be able toprovide the space and the
dynamic for your employees toshine and be their true self and
to recognize that difference isactually an asset.
(18:55):
And by being able to use thosestrengths of each individual on
your team, you will go muchfurther.
And so, like I said, sometimesthat can be a little
controversial, but I have seenit time and time again that the
one thing you can do is justknow who you are and know that.
That is again the keydifference, and the difference
(19:17):
in what I do is it's the innergame versus the outer game, and
everyone focuses on the outerand the outer doesn't matter,
because when you change theinner, your outer will change.
Fantastic Most often we thinkthe opposite when this changes,
this will be, and I'm here totell you.
It's the direct opposite.
(19:37):
And when?
You focus on the inner, theouter will change.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
That's awesome, that is, that's, that's like chef's
kiss good stuff right there.
So, um, you talked about alittle bit about, you know,
working with women in corporateand women business owners and
stuff like that.
Give one piece of advice thatyou would give to uh, give to a
female that is starting herentrepreneurial journey, just
(20:02):
like you have years ago.
What's one piece that you wouldgive them as little nugget,
little hack to help them gettheir business off the ground
and get it running?
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Stay true to you and what you want, because there's a
lot of people who are going totell you.
You know, like, when you shareyour dream and when you share
your ideas, surround yourselfwith people who are supportive
and who are there to help liftyou up.
Because there's a lot of peopleI mean, I know even for myself
when I started my business isthere's a lot of people going.
(20:35):
Why would you do that?
How would you do that?
That's never going to work.
Of my business is there's a lotof people going.
Why would you do that?
How would you do that?
That's never going to work.
And so, stay true to your desire, to what you want, and just you
know, when you are aligned tothat and you are holding that
truth within you, it doesn'tmatter what anyone else says and
find those people and surroundyourself with those people who
are, who are your supporters.
And also the other thing isalso I always look at saying
(20:59):
look for a mentor or somebodywho has already doing what it is
that you want to do.
And you know it's very mostoften because a lot of times,
especially as new entrepreneurs,we're scared, we don't want to
reach out, we don't want.
You know, like why would they?
Why would they want to supportme?
Why would they want to help?
I'm here to tell you that thosewho already done what you're
(21:20):
doing or wanting to do, theywant to see you succeed and most
often, they will be yourbiggest cheerleaders.
So surround yourself with thosepeople as well.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Can't.
Can't answer it any better thanthat.
I love that.
So, mel, I always love talkingto you.
You always have just a plethoraof great information and
nuggets for people.
Thank you so much for being apart of everything today.
How can people get ahold of youif they want to be a part of
your Nowins Energy programbusiness that you got going on
your mentorship and coachingpieces?
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
It's been so much fun chattingwith you today and, yeah, so I'm
on all the socials at now inZenergy, my website is
melcunninghamcom and I'm happyto just have a chat and any
questions.
Any way I can support anyone.
I'd love to chat.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Awesome.
Well, thank you again, Mel.
Always a pleasure getting tochat with you.
We're going to do it again soon.
Thank you so much.
Really appreciate your timetoday.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Thank you have a great day.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Absolutely.
Once again, ryan Van Ornam withScaling Up Success Podcast.
Thank you so much to Synergistfor being the sponsor of this
podcast today.
Have a wonderful day everyone.
What's up everybody.
This is Ryan Van Orden.
I'm back with another episodeof Scaling Up Success podcast
Today.
I have Mel Cunningham on ourpodcast today.
Mel, how are you today?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I'm great, thank you.
I'm happy to be here.
Thanks, ryan.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Absolutely.
We're super excited to havethis conversation with you.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Tell us a little bit about Now and Zenergy, with a
lot of highly ambitious, highachieving professionals, as well
as entrepreneurs who are, whoare tired of the the constant
hustle and the struggle oftrying to or having to choose
right, be having to choosebetween the success and having a
(00:57):
personal, personal life,personal fulfillment, and so it
I actually.
Just the other day, I justrealized I'm coming up on my
sixth year anniversary and it'sbeen a passion project for me,
because all of the things that Iuse in my coaching practice are
things that helped me, you know, rebuild and build a life that
I truly love and desire.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
That's super cool.
One of the things like I meanbeing in the business for six
years.
Now you did you have you seenyour business evolve?
Speaker 2 (01:27):
It's definitely evolved a lot.
You know, I actually just hadthat conversation.
I myself work with coaches,right, and I actually just had
that conversation with my coachof where and the evolution of my
business from the verybeginning to where it is today,
because it really is now a veryall-inclusive, very highly
touchpoint, customized program,really meeting my clients where
(01:50):
they're at.
And you know, I would say likeone of the biggest things is,
when I first started my business, it was all about the system or
the process, like right, like Ihave one, like there was one
way I was going to coach, right,and we all need systems and
processes, right.
But I think really the tweakthat I made is really being able
to make it very customizable towho I'm working with, which
(02:14):
then allows for deepertransformations.
You know, because you know,when we follow one system and
we've all been there right,especially, you know, as
business owners, you know wefind one thing that somebody is
doing and we're like, okay, I'mgoing to do that, and then we
try to emulate that and what maywork for one person may not
work for the other.
And that's the part where I seeis really being able to take my
(02:35):
clients much deeper and to beable to, you know, support them
in that bigger transformationhas really been the big change
for me because I just thinkabout you know I had one
offering that I offered at youknow when I first began my
business and now it's justevolved in this, you know,
beautiful collection of you know, different ways that I can
support um not only in business,but then also um personally as
(02:58):
well.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Well, I mean, some of the things that you offer are
just pretty incredible stuff.
Like I, we've had manydiscussions over this, but tell
us a little, tell us theaudience a little bit about like
these retreats that you offer.
It's pretty incredible stuffthat you have going on.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Yeah, thank you.
The retreats are magical, youknow.
I just think that the retreats,you know, think about it.
We're all busy, you know, intoday's world and we're all
hustling, we're trying to doeverything and most often I talk
to people and they're like Idon't have time to take time off
, I don't have time for that.
I'll make that time when theymeet some sort of achievement or
(03:37):
goal, and that's great andthat's who I used to be.
And the wonderful thing aboutretreats is really being able to
, you know, be, take yourselfout of your current environment
and be unplugged and be in anenvironment to really it's all
about you.
And now that can.
That can be very exhilaratingand it can be very scary at the
(03:58):
same time, right.
But one thing I mean I just gotback from a retreat and time
and time again is people areamazed at how, how much they
learn about themselves, right?
Because when we quiet the noisearound us and we unplug from
the daily chaos and everythingdistractions that are coming
(04:20):
about, we can really, in thatsilence and in that presence, we
really start to understand whowe are.
And that's one of the biggestthings that I help my clients do
is really get clear on who theyare, who they want to be and
what may be blocking them,stopping them from doing that.
Because oftentimes in theday-to-day we don't have the
(04:41):
time to sit there and ponderthat.
We may reflect, we may have amoment of that, but then we go
on to the hustle right.
And so, with the retreats,being able to be really
disconnected, unplugged, be in amagical setting, to where it's
really about you, and it's abouttaking care of yourself, it's
about being out in nature we allknow how powerful being in
(05:03):
nature is.
We have movement, we have, youknow, reflections.
There's so many differentopportunities to really really
dive in and learn more about whoyou are, and from that then you
can.
Because so often when peoplecome off retreat, they're like
okay, you know, here's somethingI'm going to change.
Like the biggest thing is issomebody just said this the
(05:24):
other day is they're likere-entry is a real thing and I'm
like it is so true, like it'sso true because you know we get
into that zone and we're likeokay, this is great, this is
wonderful, I don't have all ofthat, you know.
Like coming at me, but then assoon as you leave retreat, it's
all coming back at you.
So how do you make thattransition and hold on to those
(05:49):
things that you, you started tofind out about yourself, those
changes that you want to createin your life?
And so that's the part that Ithink is so magical about
retreats is because it reallygives you that, that opportunity
to be truly present and reallyfind out like you know, coming
back to yourself, like who am I,what do I want, and then that
makes you better when you're outin the world doing your
business, doing you know.
Coming back to yourself likewho am I, what do I want, and
(06:10):
then that makes you better whenyou're out in the world doing
your business, doing you know,spending time with family, all
of that.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
That that's phenomenal and there's so many
like when, when you pullyourself out of the day-to-day
grind and then, like you said,the noise kind of quiets a
little bit and you're able tolike reassess and, you know,
reengage on who you want to be,not like like, I'm just not the
(06:38):
parent, I'm just not the C-suiteexecutive, you know, like all
these labels that we have to puton ourselves, and you become
you.
You get to be who you want tobe during that time.
You get to be who you want tobe during that time.
I think that's really aninspirational type of way of
looking at it Like I canactually be, get back to who I
(06:58):
need to be.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Right, yeah, and you bring up a great point, ryan,
about labels, because,especially like ambitious
hustlers you know all of us thatare running businesses in that
I mean we do put labels onourselves and we identify with
those labels.
And those labels are allexternal, right and really what
really matters and what createsthe change in our life is when
we do that, that inner game,when we start doing that inner
(07:23):
work and we start changing, umand addressing who we truly are,
because who we truly are isdeep down in there.
But oftentimes, you know, withthe way life is, you know we
lead everything by the external.
So with those labels like thatis so true because we become
oftentimes to what other peoplethink we should become too Right
(07:45):
, and so we're always trying toto validate what others think we
should be doing or how weshould be doing it or how we
should be showing up.
So with that is I mean, that'swhat I think is one of the most
powerful pieces of the retreatis really getting connected with
who you are, because often,especially as adults you know
kids are great at this Adults wejust kind of go on autopilot
(08:09):
and we just go through the day.
We're like we're just trying toget through that day, um, with
all the to-dos and all of that,and so being able to just be
quiet and sit and reflect onthat.
It is so powerful and I see ittime and time again.
How you know again, you're not.
You didn't get where you're attoday overnight and you're not
going to change it overnight.
(08:30):
It's those small little thingsthat you can.
You know, start to number one,create that awareness around and
then to start making thoseshifts.
That's how you start tocompound that and change that,
and then that becomes a bigger,bigger impact for you overall.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
I agree.
And like the thing that I kindof see is like, um, the?
The analogy that I use is likeyou know, like your emotional
wellbeing is not like a Ferrari,it's more like an aircraft
carrier.
Like you can't turn that thingon a dime, like it takes, it
takes time to to slowly turn it,and then then eventually you
get to where you want to be, butit takes day after day.
(09:07):
In that that positive self-talk, because a lot of times you
know we're our harshest critic,would you agree?
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yes, oh yeah, definitely.
I mean we do have those innercritics that are constantly
running around and like ouremotions come from.
You know, we have emotions,thoughts, feelings, and all of
that is driven by what'shappening in our mind.
Like you know, we actually havetwo minds.
We have an ego mind, a rightmind, and our ego mind is
usually the mind that, you know,it's like, if you think about
(09:34):
it, it's like that consciousmind, it's that logic mind, it's
always, it's it's the loudestaspect of it, but it's really
the, the quiet.
The right mind, that is the mindthat is with our like, aligned
with our heart and our true self, right.
And so when we can really startto tap into that, because the
(09:54):
ego mind will go with thefamiliar, we'll go with what's
the normal, and you know,anytime that we want to step out
of that normal box, thatcomfort zone for us, it's going
to, you know, start feeding usthose thoughts.
Oh, like, why would you want todo that?
Oh, you can't do that, you'venever done that, and so those
are the things where then wehear that and then we allow that
(10:22):
to impact whether or not wechoose to move forward or do
that thing or show up, bevisible in our business, and so
when we can really start tounderstand that and it starts
with that, about gettingconnected with who you are and
you know, being able toacknowledge because, because we,
we have fear or because we'relike oh, I don't know, this
could be a big jump for me.
It doesn't mean we shouldn't doit.
It's an opportunity for us tounderstand, like, what is that
(10:42):
triggering for us and why isthat triggering for us and in
that time, we also have theopportunity to shift that and
change that and be like, yeah,that's who I was.
Because, again to your pointright, Our emotions are not who
we are.
Again, we put labels on themand we're like that's just how
we are, that's just how it is.
No, that's a label.
We're not, they're a piece ofus.
(11:04):
They're not who we are.
So we have the ability to shiftand change that no-transcript
(11:34):
what you've had inside thisbusiness.
Well, I think you know what I,first of all, I think I'm just
lucky that I get to do what I dobecause I it's truly my passion
to help support others actuallylive a life that they love, you
know, and I think you know theevolution of it and being able
to, you know, grow it from whereit was.
(11:56):
I mean, cause, right, like, weall start a business or we start
something and we're like youknow, we were like who am I to
do this?
Right, and I think the biggestthing, that the differentiator
for me is just, um, I've livedthis thing.
That the differentiator for meis just, I've lived this.
I know what it's like to live alife where you know, you give
everything to that identity oflike this is who I am and you
(12:20):
know, and it looks like you havethis perfect, great, wonderful
life, and so I know what that'slike and I know what it's like
to crash and burn.
So I appreciate and I'm sopassionate about helping people
understand that that's not theway.
There is a different way andthat you can have both of them
and so just being able to evolvethe business and see the
(12:42):
different ways that I can createimpact, because I work
one-on-one and I also work withteams, with corporate teams as
well.
I mean, you know, the biggestthing I mean we all, some way,
somehow we're working.
You know, a team could be afamily.
A team could be somebody thatyou're working with in the
professional environment, andit's all about how are we
working together, how are wesupporting each other?
(13:02):
So just evolving with that andseeing that, seeing the impact,
that when we really start to getclear on some things and we
start to that, I guess, stuffthat's not really in our control
or the stuff that's coming atus because of the world, when we
can step back from that andhelping people understand that
(13:24):
and see that they actually havea lot more power.
Because what I see so often iswe all give up our power and I
mean that's who I was and sobeing able to really step into
that presence and be able tohelp show other people that hey,
there is a different way and,quite honestly, most often it's
not as challenging or difficultas you think it is and those
(13:47):
things other than you know Ialways talk about.
It's a combination of likeenergy, mindset, strategy and
lifestyle and, honestly,strategy is probably the part we
spend the least amount of timewith, because it's not about
doing, it's about being.
So I'm so proud of the factthat, like being able to you
(14:08):
know, help and support others,to see that and see that there
is a different way.
I mean, like I said, I justfeel that I'm lucky and I enjoy
doing this and I enjoy seeingthe difference that it makes,
because I see it on so manylevels.
Because even when I, forexample, if I work with somebody
one-on-one, it's not just themthat are impacted, it's those
(14:28):
around them that are impacted.
And so being able to help,support that and really make
that change, that's, I mean,it's my passion, it's what I
live for.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
I absolutely love that and that it's so critical
because it it you, you exude itand just when you talk, you can
hear the passion coming out fromexactly you know what you bring
to the table with your, withyour clientele.
So that's fantastic and thankyou for sharing that.
One of the one of the thingsthat that I've seen a lot
probably in like I mean the lastcouple of years, especially
(15:02):
since COVID and stuff like thatis this almost like this, like
de-evolution of positive impactwith technology, especially with
social media.
I one of the things that I Ireally grasped towards is this
concept of like uh, don'tcompare your insides to people's
outsides.
Can you talk more about thatand how it affects people in, uh
(15:25):
, in in the corporate world,because you know we're always
chasing that next wrong right,that next wrong on the ladder.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Yeah, no, that's a great question and I mean I
totally agree with you,especially with social media and
really with with the state ofwhat.
And, like you said, I reallyfeel like things really shifted
after COVID.
Right, and first of all, one ofthe biggest things that changed
is we.
We, we started going more, likeyou know, we started working by
(15:54):
ourselves.
Right, we started creating thisseparation amongst people.
You know and like, for example,my past career was, I mean, I
was out and about, I always seenclients doing that and it was
like if you weren't out in thefield, if you weren't connecting
with people, you weren't doingyour job.
And then with COVID, thatshifted and changed.
And then with social media, Imean, everywhere you look you
(16:22):
are, something is being thrownat you to compare yourself with,
and it goes back to what youwere mentioning too before these
labels is like we have become asociety of comparison and that
really messes with our internalmindset as well as what's
happening within us, what we arehearing, like you know, whether
or not we feel we are capableof doing something, and so
(16:43):
really, what I work on, one ofthe things that I see that is
most helpful is we have to getstrong with who we are inside,
so that we can also recognizethat that external stuff isn't
us, because and the thing isthat I would say is like it's
not easy to separate ourselvesfrom that, like society doesn't
(17:05):
make it easy for us.
So we have to consciously makethat decision, and that's the
piece where I think the biggestshift happens is when you get
really clear and you're reallyconfident and you stand into the
power of who you are.
Then you can separate yourselffrom that noise and you can
understand that that compare,that's just you know, just
because they are.
That doesn't mean and it's hardthough, because I see it in
(17:27):
corporate, like special, I mean.
And the other thing is I see,sometimes too, like I work with
a lot of, I work with both menand women, but I work a lot with
women, and one of the things,especially in the corporate
environment, is this comparison.
So not only do you have thecomparison of the person who's,
you know, your direct, maybecounterpart, but then you have
the comparison of male andfemale dynamic as well, and
(17:48):
being able to what I have foundis the one thing that can create
that change and allow you to beable to navigate that through
from a place of empowerment iswhen you know who you truly are
is when you know who you trulyare and when you are confident
in that self and you know withteams.
The other thing I see too is youknow a lot of leaders.
It kind of backfires actually,and this might get a little
(18:12):
pushback right, but it kind ofbackfires because leaders are.
Leaders want to pit employees,team members, against each other
because they think by doingthat it will create more of an
influence and desire to dobetter right and they'll get
more output from their employees.
And I'm here to tell you itactually has a reverse effect on
(18:34):
it.
So when we can really know whowe are and that's why, like I
said, it's as leaders in acorporation it's your
responsibility to be able toprovide the space and the
dynamic for your employees toshine and be their true self and
to recognize that difference isactually an asset.
(18:55):
And by being able to use thosestrengths of each individual on
your team, you will go muchfurther.
And so, like I said, sometimesthat can be a little
controversial, but I have seenit time and time again that the
one thing you can do is justknow who you are and know that.
That is again the keydifference, and the difference
(19:17):
in what I do is it's the innergame versus the outer game, and
everyone focuses on the outerand the outer doesn't matter,
because when you change theinner, your outer will change.
Fantastic Most often we thinkthe opposite when this changes,
this will be, and I'm here totell you.
It's the direct opposite.
(19:37):
And when?
You focus on the inner, theouter will change.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
That's awesome, that is, that's, that's like chef's
kiss good stuff right there.
So, um, you talked about alittle bit about, you know,
working with women in corporateand women business owners and
stuff like that.
Give one piece of advice thatyou would give to uh, give to a
female that is starting herentrepreneurial journey, just
(20:02):
like you have years ago.
What's one piece that you wouldgive them as little nugget,
little hack to help them gettheir business off the ground
and get it running?
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Stay true to you and what you want, because there's a
lot of people who are going totell you.
You know, like, when you shareyour dream and when you share
your ideas, surround yourselfwith people who are supportive
and who are there to help liftyou up.
Because there's a lot of peopleI mean, I know even for myself
when I started my business isthere's a lot of people going.
(20:35):
Why would you do that?
How would you do that?
That's never going to work.
Of my business is there's a lotof people going.
Why would you do that?
How would you do that?
That's never going to work.
And so, stay true to your desire, to what you want, and just you
know, when you are aligned tothat and you are holding that
truth within you, it doesn'tmatter what anyone else says and
find those people and surroundyourself with those people who
are, who are your supporters.
And also the other thing isalso I always look at saying
(20:59):
look for a mentor or somebodywho has already doing what it is
that you want to do.
And you know it's very mostoften because a lot of times,
especially as new entrepreneurs,we're scared, we don't want to
reach out, we don't want.
You know, like why would they?
Why would they want to supportme?
Why would they want to help?
I'm here to tell you that thosewho already done what you're
(21:20):
doing or wanting to do, theywant to see you succeed and most
often, they will be yourbiggest cheerleaders.
So surround yourself with thosepeople as well.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Can't.
Can't answer it any better thanthat.
I love that.
So, mel, I always love talkingto you.
You always have just a plethoraof great information and
nuggets for people.
Thank you so much for being apart of everything today.
How can people get ahold of youif they want to be a part of
your Nowins Energy programbusiness that you got going on
your mentorship and coachingpieces?
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
It's been so much fun chattingwith you today and, yeah, so I'm
on all the socials at now inZenergy, my website is
melcunninghamcom and I'm happyto just have a chat and any
questions.
Any way I can support anyone.
I'd love to chat.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Awesome.
Well, thank you again, Mel.
Always a pleasure getting tochat with you.
We're going to do it again soon.
Thank you so much.
Really appreciate your timetoday.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Thank you have a great day.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Absolutely.
Once again, ryan Van Ornam withScaling Up Success Podcast.
Thank you so much to Synergistfor being the sponsor of this
podcast today.
Have a wonderful day everyone.
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