Ashley M Fils-Aime gives me comedy advice

Seriously good comedian Ashley M Fils-Aime joins the revolution.

In this podcast we chat about what the hell the revolution is, gratitude, goals and stand up comedy as a whole.

He got it in the end, but Sharam got a lot of advice along the way. Really good comedy advice for stand up comedy.

• The value of appreciating small audiences who plan their day around seeing you perform
• Why writing jokes is the fundamental currency of comedy that solves creative problems
• How achievements become a form of currency that strengthens you for future challenges
• The fear that your unique perspective won't be understood versus the power of authenticity
• Being unapologetically yourself attracts people who resonate with your distinct voice
• The danger of pursuing fame and followers instead of mastering joke writing
• Comedy as an experience rather than just a performance or path to recognition
• Finding purpose in resolving personal trauma through creative expression

Send me Fan Mail! It could be anything, we are desperate at this point.

Episode Transcript

Sharam (00:15):
you hi.
Welcome to sharam.
Namdarian.
Starts a revolution where westart a revolution, but we
haven't figured it out.
This is the second time we'restarting to record it, because
the first time cut out, but ofcourse you cared about that.
The second revolution thesecond revolution.
We're starting to record itbecause the first time cut out,
but of course you cared aboutthat.
The second revolution.
The second revolution.
Ash was telling us about thehorrors that it is to be himself
Stand-up comedian.
And why is it so bad all thetime?

(00:35):
No, why is it you know?
You're on a cruise and they'relike oh, you have to make
thousands of people laugh on acruise he was just telling me
live small, you have to makethousands of people laugh on a
cruise, he was just telling melive small.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (00:47):
It was like if you should perform to only
two people.

Sharam (00:49):
Yes, what he was saying says you just got to appreciate
those crowds of two.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (00:52):
You just came back from a cruise yeah,
man, look I was, I was tellinghim because he has what four
tonight yeah, so far, so far,but I'm saying that.
But but it's.
Those four people are the oneswho here's the thing, whether
whether it's 1,000 or one, ascheesy as it sounds, those four
people.
They bought tickets and they'reliving their life today for you

(01:13):
.
They get up in the morning,they go to work whatever it is
that they're going to do,babysit, whatever they got to do
.
They know come tonight thatthey're coming to see you.
That's the energy that youshould very tap into.
Those are four people who plantheir day around you yeah, I'm
planning to always give it.

Sharam (01:31):
What are my new phrases?
Leave it all on the stage leaveit on the stage you know they
say leave it all in the field.
Yeah, leave it on, leave it.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (01:38):
Leave it on the stage man, yeah, so so you
so, instead of saying there'llbe more, be content with the
four that you have.

Sharam (01:44):
Yeah, I'm totally content.
I'm just more worried aboutwill I break even, not tonight,
but overall the whole festival.
And I think I will.
To be honest, the way thingsare looking, I'm totally happy
with that.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (01:54):
Oh look, the Melbourne International Comedy
Festival is not a place to makemoney unless you're already
famous and popular and have ahuge following.
It's more of the experience ofhaving to deal with the admin
and uh and uh, stage performanceas well.

Sharam (02:08):
That's all it is.
Yeah, because you were sayingsomething that about yourself
just before, where you were likeit's, yeah, it's for the
experience where you've done,you've done like plenty of your
own stuff yeah, I have.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (02:18):
I have done a lot of.
I've done a lot of my ownthings yeah, because you've been
what?

Sharam (02:21):
10 years, 20 years I don't know how long you've been
doing comedy for this augustwould be 29 years shit, yeah,
yeah, that's a few that's twodecades.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (02:30):
That's almost almost three decades.
How?

Sharam (02:32):
old, are you?

Ashley M Fils-Aime (02:33):
I'm 46 damn yeah bro, you know that's you
know what I'm gonna say?
Yeah, but I'm not.
Yeah, black crack, I guess wedon't man, we sell it shit,
that's.

Sharam (02:45):
Yeah, I've been thinking I need a especially.
I've got a lot of what do youcall it skin area.
Right, I need a lotion more.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (02:52):
No, it's just yeah.
You just got to keep your skin.

Sharam (02:54):
I'm not saying you do, I'm saying I need to.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (03:05):
No, I got a really strict skin reg.
I have um fuck, I'll grab itfor you.
If I show it to you, yeah, youcan grab it, it's a fucking
you'll be, you're gonna, you'regonna laugh at this shit, but
it's.

Sharam (03:11):
It's something I have to take seriously nah, that's
something I need to takeseriously.
Like I get sunspots, what isthat?

Ashley M Fils-Aime (03:17):
oh my god, okay this is how I do not wash
my face with my hands.
It's almost like I'm doing acommercial for this guy.

Sharam (03:23):
Yeah.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (03:23):
This is a face washer.

Sharam (03:25):
Okay, dear Lord, okay yeah everyone can hear it.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (03:29):
And then you scrub your face.
It's a and you're obviouslygiving love.
And you scrub your face forlike a minute.

Sharam (03:36):
Okay.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (03:37):
And then you let whatever face wash you have
on.
I wash it for a minute and thenI'll let it sit for a minute
and then I rinse it off and thenI put a certain I use a serum,
that's everything's all natural.
My wife's a nutritionist, so Igot all the great natural stuff
and I just sit and I just try tobe careful what I put in my gut
.

Sharam (03:57):
Yeah, I'm all more about that than ever before.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (03:59):
And what's your background?

Sharam (04:01):
Half Indian, half Iranian.
Okay, does that help you aboutwhat I should put in my stomach?

Ashley M Fils-Aime (04:06):
Yeah, curry, I don't know yeah.

Sharam (04:09):
Do you know what it's like.
So I tried learning how to cookcurry from my mom, but I don't
think my mom was ever properlytaught.
There's no recipe.
So I had to actually watch hercook a few times and she's like
you, just, you just chuck it inyeah, yeah you.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (04:26):
Just then they put this in and it's done.
And I'm like what did you putin you?

Sharam (04:29):
just do it, and then it's like oh okay, there's an
order, there's an amount,there's a this, there's a that
there's a taste, of course, Ithink what.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (04:36):
What goes on is that you have to amount.
What goes on is you can learnanything on youtube, man yeah go
on YouTube and just get a whole.
What I do is I get a wholebunch of like Because I do all
the cooking in my house.

Sharam (04:48):
Yeah.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (04:48):
All the cooking.
My wife doesn't touch the stoveat all, what about when you're
on cruise?

Sharam (04:53):
Did she just start?
That's not.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (04:55):
She either Uber Eats, or I probably
prepared a certain amount offood, but her mom also, you know
, they're Lebanese, so her mom'salways giving her plenty of
food.
So she has, you know, becauseshe works.
It's not that she can't cook,it's just that she's on her feet
like seven, eight hours a day.
So I feel like there's no pointin her coming in and having to

(05:16):
cook.
So whenever she comes home,like you know, like she'll come
home today, and then whatevermeal she desires will be ready.

Sharam (05:23):
That's really.
Does she put it in order withyou?

Ashley M Fils-Aime (05:26):
Pretty much.
That's really cute.
I'm her personal chef.

Sharam (05:28):
Yeah, and how does that, how do you guys fit in your
work-life balance?
Because that's what I'm alwaysworried about.
I guess you know my partner sheworks nine to five.
I work nine to five and then docomedy afterwards.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (05:38):
Yeah, well, yeah.

Sharam (05:39):
So that's a bit hard.
Imagine being away a lot.
Yeah, exactly.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (05:43):
But, to be fair, she knew what she was
signing up for.
She met me as a comedian.
It wasn't like she met me andthen I started doing comedy.
When she met me, I was alwayson the road.
When she met me, I was alwayson the road.
And then she lives that life,to her credit, though, she's
learned how to balance it out.

(06:04):
It's hard, man, it's hard, know, in this business you have to
travel.
You can't be in this, you can'tbe stationary, and you know
just, I don't.

Sharam (06:11):
I'm not on radio yet, I'm on tv yet, so it's just do
you want to be on radio and tvlike that's the real do?

Ashley M Fils-Aime (06:17):
you know what I mean.

Sharam (06:18):
Everybody, everybody wants to do that that's so,
because I find it really funny,because it is like like I feel
like radio and tv is almost asemi-dying medium.
But then the age is coming toreview my wednesday show and I'm
like, yeah, like you know, I'mso excited and it's like do I
read the age?

Ashley M Fils-Aime (06:33):
I could.
It's, it's, it's one of thosethings where they, if you get a
review from them, it's a, youknow, reputable company.
So you can put it on there Ihaven't read the age, unless
it's like a facebook post thatthey put up.
But the thing at the end of theday, tv and radio is always
going to be there, because uhthere's still old people living.
I think, when, when?

(06:53):
Generation, what, what?
What do you mean?
What do you mean z?

Sharam (06:57):
I don't know, I'm 34.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (06:59):
Whatever, that is probably z whatever
generation is the youngestgeneration now.
When they become like Superadults, then maybe television
will be wiped off, but right nowit's still.
It's still a bit of a standard,you know.
Yeah, so the internet is huge,but Television is huge, but it's
I don't know man, it's likeTelevision is like clouds, you

(07:22):
know they're there.
That's a bad fucking reference.
I can't find a.
I'm really, I'm really usuallygood at fucking parallels.
It's like it's there but it'snot.
It's not necessary, but it's,it's still respected do you know
what I find interesting?

Sharam (07:36):
I you know some people talking about like content,
fatigue and stuff like that.
I do think one of the reasonswhy that's the case is because
we do have access to everythingall the time yeah and like 10
years ago, you had to get dvdsor whatever you know, like it
was a different universe and nowwe crave new stories, new
exciting things oh, you'rescrolling through your phone.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (07:56):
Yeah, every scroll is a different channel
yeah, that's fair, yeah, and youhave the ability to watch it or
move on.
And then then we live in thisage where, like I'm part of it
too Like if the content I'mwatching isn't hitting fast
enough, I'll skip through it.

Sharam (08:11):
If.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (08:11):
I'm not invested into it.
You know Like so people will bewatching this.
If they're not invested to it,they're going to scroll past it,
and I can blame you, Of course.

Sharam (08:29):
No, it's like all of that, the social media marketing
for, like the third wavebarbecue, it's a meat place.
That's where I get my.
That's where I get my.
I'm trying to hit everyone'sdopamine at every point in time,
so my own channel.
I don't want to do that,although I probably should and I
know how to.
I'm like I want it to be butyour shit's gone viral.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (08:48):
Man, I got there's like american um
influencers.
Did I send you that that?

Sharam (08:53):
uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, um beardo, yeah, yeah, he does
that stuff all the time.
But there's a whole bunch ofpeople as well like yes so
you're doing a great job in thataspect.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (09:00):
If you could just turn that around and you
be your own.
Fucking is what you're tryingto do right now yeah,
essentially.

Sharam (09:07):
So.
This is the start of that, somaybe there'll be clips from
this that I can use and stufflike that but, realistically, I
also want this to be a littlebit of a documented journey,
because it's like, oh yeah, I'mgonna start a revolution, but
really, what is a revolution?
Yeah, exactly, revolution islike we're gonna change the
world.
How change?
Well, what's the cause?
What?

Ashley M Fils-Aime (09:24):
do you want to?

Sharam (09:24):
change.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (09:25):
I'm not 100 sure yet oh, so you don't have
your, why no, and I have I.

Sharam (09:29):
Well, my why really is just to see how far I can go
with comedy at this point,because it's like I know, once
I've I've got various ideas ofwhat I want to achieve yeah but
I know that for me it's moreabout solving problems, and then
, once I get there, I'llprobably want something else
yeah, okay so I'm not reallythat.
I'm equanimous.
Equanimous, yeah, I have alevel of equanimity with my,

(09:51):
with my goals, if that makessense, because I wanted to.
When I was a relationship coachI wanted to help everyone and
then I meditated a lot andrealized actually it wasn't
everyone, it was like a thousandpeople.
Do you know what I mean?
Like it was like a thousandpeople.
Do you know what I mean?
Like I was like, oh so like Ifeel like comedy really hits me
in many, many levels of where Iwant to be and what I want to do

(10:13):
with pretty much the rest of mylife.
The goal really is to be an oldman comedian, but the, dare I
say, metaphor of starting arevolution is this idea that one
thing I've always loved isbeing able to whip people up
into like sort of like a frenzyand comedy.
You can do that, and I one ofmy earliest jokes was basically

(10:33):
an outrage about how, when Ifirst started comedy, I was
really upset that I discoveredsome comedians lie, like it's
not all true, coming from yeah,exactly, and I was like that's,
they're lying to us.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (10:42):
What else are they?

Sharam (10:42):
lying to us and it was like that's they're lying to us.
What else?

Ashley M Fils-Aime (10:45):
are they lying to us?
And it was like this ah, youknow.

Sharam (10:48):
And then there was punch lines about like, like, really
nonsensical conspiracy theoriesyeah and the first time I did it
the audience was like yeah,like they were really riled up,
like yeah, billy irish isn'treally the bad guy yeah, and
it's just.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (11:03):
it was just stuff like that, okay.

Sharam (11:06):
And so that's where I'm at.
It's sort of like I love this,I love this journey.
It's more how far I can go.
So this revolution is, I don'treally know, but I spent a lot
of time thinking about it.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (11:19):
I think it sounds like your revolution is
just comes from not beingcontent in anything.

Sharam (11:28):
Yeah, I like solving problems Really.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (11:32):
Yeah, but there's so many problems and I
think you just took all theproblems and you're trying to
fix them all.
Maybe that's your evolutiontrying to fix all the problems,
man.

Sharam (11:42):
Yeah, Well, in this case it's creative problems.
It's like how do you get a jokestarted?
How do you figure it out?
What, what do you want to say?
How do you remember it all?

Ashley M Fils-Aime (11:50):
like I think how do you sell the tickets?
It's all very exciting, I think.

Sharam (11:53):
Yeah, I think we've been doing it three ish, three and a
half years now what?

Ashley M Fils-Aime (11:57):
you're doing is you're taking on way too
many aspects.

Sharam (12:00):
Oh, I've got an answer to that after you say all of
that, but yeah, yeah, you.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (12:05):
What's your answer?

Sharam (12:06):
uh, my answer is I had a massive breakthrough recently
where I realized I make thingsway too hard for myself that's
exactly what, what that's not.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (12:17):
That's not the answer.
It's more just uh, you're justpiggybacking off what I'm saying
.
Yeah exactly.

Sharam (12:21):
Well it was.
I realized I think certainthings should be harder.
So if they're easy, I make themharder.
And also there are certainthings that are hard that I
think should be hard as well.
So it's like so, for example, agood thing was like what if?
What if selling tickets waseasy?
It's like well, if it was easythen I wouldn't try so hard.
And I did realize well, withthe festival guess what?

(12:41):
They do a lot of work.
Yeah, did you?
Yeah?

Ashley M Fils-Aime (12:46):
they do that , who's they?
As in the festival the peoplewho run the festival.
Yeah, they do a lot of posterseverywhere they cover the city
you mean?
You mean the people do runningthe festival, or the comments?

Sharam (12:56):
sorry the people running .
It's a collective effort iswhat I'm trying to say, and so
by me making it harder, I'mactually coming from it from a
perspective of, uh, like I'vegot a, like what if they're not
there?
You know, I've got to be ableto sell it randomly.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (13:10):
Yeah it's just unfortunate, you're
thinking, and it's just becauseyou grew up in australia, right?
yeah here's the thing about us.
I grew up in australia andfestivals I grew up in an area
in in the united states therewasn't.
We don't do festivals, we justdo comedy shows.
And if you want to do comedyshows, you have to do comedy
clubs.
If you want to do comedy clubs,you have to be, and if you want
to do comedy shows, you have todo comedy clubs.
If you want to do comedy clubs,you have to be funny.
If you want to be funny, youhave to write a joke.

(13:31):
That's where it all stems from.

Sharam (13:33):
Whereas.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (13:34):
Australia.
What I noticed is I've beenhere for 11 years.
What I've noticed is that a lotof comedians equate comedy to
the festival and they justoverride comedy into writing and
being a comedian.
So when they see the festival,they get this fear of missing
out or they get this.

(13:54):
They think that's what it isand it's totally the opposite.
I think what you've done is you, you, you're, you're looking at
all the things that come withit and you're not focusing on
what it comes from.
If that makes any sense yeahwrite a joke and that's it.

Sharam (14:10):
I spend one to two hours trying to write comedy a day
now.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (14:13):
Are you forcing yourself to write comedy
?

Sharam (14:16):
It comes from love.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (14:18):
Okay.
Okay, then you're not forcingyourself.

Sharam (14:20):
Like I'm literally sitting there, like what is this
?
Like what's funny about it?
Asking questions.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (14:25):
Do you have an idea at first, or do you sit
down and then think of an idea?

Sharam (14:27):
Sometimes I have questions do you have an idea at
first or do you sit down andthen think of an idea?
Uh, sometimes I have an idea.
Sometimes I'll come out with atopic and sometimes I will look
at it and be like, well, I'vegot a blank page, what can come
from that?
And I've got some really insaneideas that have come from just
a blank page, where your brainis like cats and horse yeah ah,
yeah then you, you, you'remisunderstanding, um, you're

(14:49):
misunderstanding what this isabout, then comedy is about
having a message.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (14:53):
Yeah, if I would start with what pisses you
off, what really pisses you off, and something that pisses you
off is usually something thathappens all the time and people
are okay with it, but you're not.
Why are you not?
And why are they okay with?

Sharam (15:03):
this.
What are you pissed off at?

Ashley M Fils-Aime (15:05):
oh, there's a lot of things, man.

Sharam (15:06):
Yeah, you've got a lot of jokes about, uh like the
contrast between, I guess,racism in australia and america,
the whole possible yeah, yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (15:14):
that that the racism I'm dialing down on,
because I'm starting to see thatevery ethnic comic is that's
what they're leaning into andit's like, oh, you know, it's
everybody's doing it and I don'twant to, I don't be doing it.
Um, I just um talk about thingsthat I've seen.
It's like in this business youcan be a joker or you can be an
artist.
You start off as a jokerbecause you want to learn how to

(15:35):
tell jokes and then, once yourealize your power, then you can
become an artist and startusing things, because you have
people who do shtick stuff andthey're doing shticky.
You're pretty shticky.

Sharam (15:45):
What's my shtick?
I don't know, you're just wildwhat's my shtick?

Ashley M Fils-Aime (15:51):
I don't know , you're just, you're just wild.

Sharam (15:52):
Yeah, you got, you're wearing a, a skeleton costume.
Oh yeah, it's not all the time,yeah, but I'm saying sometimes,
yeah exactly so it's like it.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (15:56):
And then you have cats like damien power.
You know, damien power yeah,yeah he got guys who just are
very, very well, um,artistically in expression, yeah
, um, but I think for threeyears, I think what you've done
is you've skipped so many steps,or you're thinking about the
outcomes, you're thinking abouteverything but the actual,

(16:19):
focusing on something that'svery simple, which is writing
jokes.
If your energy is going allthese different places, then
you're not giving 100% into yourjoke writing.
If I were you, I would justsolely give myself one year just
to test it out, just to seewhat I can do.
For one year, just write jokesand just go and do nights, write
jokes and do nights, and you'dbe amazed at what everything
else all that stuff you'rethinking about right now will

(16:41):
fall into place.
Everything will come together.
Anybody who's ever doneanything great has never worried
about how to just focus on theoutcome and then how it was
presented itself.

Sharam (16:50):
I do agree with that in the sense that I, after I,
realize I'm making things hardfor myself I should probably not
.
Maybe if, if you see me do nextthe next festival, it's
probably because I've resolvedsome other issues, because it is
like maybe it's a lot of stressand I enjoy the pressure, like
I've come from this backgroundof entrepreneurship of like, no

(17:11):
pressure, no diamonds yeah andnow I've realized wait a second.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (17:14):
We're putting ourself under that
pressure yeah those are fakediamonds, yeah, but there's,
there's pressure in thissimplicity of writing a joke
yeah, that's pressure.
I know there's getting on stageand getting to laugh.

Sharam (17:26):
That's pressure yeah, there's enough pressure, that's.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (17:28):
That's all the pressure you're ever going
to need comes from that.

Sharam (17:31):
Everything else is admin yeah, I do have a new quote
which I'll be as in shahramdarian quote, which is you'd be
surprised how many problemswriting comedy solves, like just
trying to write, and that'ssince I've been writing at least
an hour to two hours a day.
That's a great quote, man,because that, that, because I so
much better, I say all the timeI talk to a lot of comedians
who are like oh, they'refrustrated, I'm frustrated.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (17:52):
Whatever frustration you're going through
within the context and therealm of comedy, like if you got
, like got age or some shit.
You know that's different.
I'm talking about like realm ofcomedy.
Yeah, whatever you're goingthrough within the realm of
comedy, you write a joke, you'refine.

(18:13):
Imagine if you had an hour ofkiller material.
Imagine if you had an hour ofjokes and after every joke you
got an applause break.
How would you feel?

Sharam (18:20):
yeah, that'd be pretty insane.
That's a fair point.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (18:23):
Imagine that , yeah that's what I go for.
And and because if they can goanywhere and you got, they say,
okay, you got five minutes here.
Fine, you know those fiveminutes you're gonna kill you.
Go over here.
They want you three minutes?
Fine, you got three minutes Ican kill you.
Go over there.
You want you to hour?
Fine, you're gonna kill.
That's what that's.
That's to me.
That to me, that's the top ofthe the line goal.
Right there everything elsewill fall into place.

(18:44):
You got three hours of killing.
Material man, your careeryou're.
You are literally set for therest of your life.
The more material you have, themore uh ability you have to do
things.
We can't do anything withoutmaterial man and you can't
create something without thefucking.
You see this cloth here.
This is material yeah this isbecause this material derived
from something else so earlieron you were like what's your

(19:05):
purpose?

Sharam (19:06):
I have two sort of purposes.
I do hear you with that.
The first one is, you know,saying like how far can I go?
It is a point of how do I putthis into words?
Just be strict, yeah, no themessage is I do think goals are
a little bit arbitrary, Likelife is what do you mean by that
?
As in.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (19:26):
Not real.

Sharam (19:27):
No, not, not real, but they're not all they're cracked
up to be.
So that's probably why you seeme doing almost nonsensical wild
stuff.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (19:38):
That comes from an attitude of
ungratefulness, because whathappens is you reach your goals
and then you get there and youwant.
When I filmed my special, Idecided I'll do it on my own and
I'm like I don't even know if Ican sell tickets or whatever,
but I went out and I just threwit.
I threw everything into it.
I mean everything I did.

(19:59):
I didn't ever I put so mucheffort into it.
You know, I'm saying I startedeating healthier, I started
going to the gym.
I did, I'd say like about six,seven, eight months of
preparation for the festival,for my festival, for my my
special.
And then the day that I filmedit, I sold out the whole room,
the comics lounge, with 400people.
Um, great response, one of thebest of nights I've seen, uh,

(20:19):
that I've had in my life.
And then, when it was all saidand done, I felt empty and I had
to spend and the festivalstarted like three or four days
because you gave it your.

Sharam (20:27):
That emptiness is because you gave it your all
Right.
That's how I see it, but I hadnothing to aspire to.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (20:32):
Yeah, next.
If I was in a community I wouldnot be living the life that I
live.
Like, I try to live a prettyhealthy life, you know for the
most part.
But what happens is when yougot so many goals you're
achieving, you got to begrateful.
And man, I did that.
You gotta be grateful, and themore grateful you are.

Sharam (20:51):
So did you feel grateful after your special?
Yeah, I did.
I thought I used a special.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (20:55):
I felt empty after because I'm like I put so
much into it.

Sharam (20:57):
Like I didn't know.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (20:59):
I didn't have a reason to wake up in the
morning anymore.
You know what I'm saying Likestuff, but I'm saying it after
what.
What I learned after thespecial is anything I decide to
do.
I know exactly how to do itbecause the same.
I just do the same format that Icreated my special and that
special always reminds mewhenever, whenever I'm having
low days or low points in mycareer, I go no, but you did

(21:21):
that, look at what you did.
You can do that with somethingelse.
So there's two things I'mworking on currently that I'm
not going to mention um, and I'mputting the same amount of
effort, the same amount of, youknow, uh, energy.
The same amount.
It's just you have to get backto yourself, man and um, but
you're, you're scattered man,you, you're, you're all over the
place, zero in on one thing andjust do that.

(21:44):
But you say you're hitting allthese goals and when you hit
them, you feel empty.

Sharam (21:48):
No, what I'm trying to say is A great way of saying it
is I've.
How do I put this into words?
I've come from a background ofbasically, life is hard or it
should be hard okay and so,therefore, I sort of put goals
on these pedestals of like, I'vegot to work real hard to

(22:11):
achieve it.
But once because I thought thatif I was to achieve it, I
myself would have some form ofsignificance from it.
And I remember having myconversation and talking to my
conversation with my partnerabout this the other day, where
we're both like, like okay, sosay we were to achieve all of
these things.
We've set our mind to what'snext and it's like, I guess it's

(22:32):
like.
It's like getting fit, like,once you're fit, what's the rest
of the journey?
It's just, maybe there'ssomething else, but at the very
least, all it is is going to thegym every day.
Like's nothing really special,like you're saying, just like
write a joke.
There's, there's.
I believe there is significancein the simple things.
Um, but my focus comes in fromthis whole thing is like, I

(22:59):
don't know, I think we draw waytoo much meaning from the world
around us.
I guess it's a bit of abuddhist approach, like
economists, like have the goal,but know that it might not be
your whole identity, I.
But what I'm trying to say is I, I made my identity before
comedy.
Someone who was a, like Istruggled with so many things

(23:21):
like depression and anxiety andthis and that that I made
solving those problems myidentity right, and then I
resolved those issues and Irealized, ah, okay, I thought
that resolving them would makeme happy.
Now I'm just a person withoutdepression or anxiety and I'm
not like, yeah, my life isdifferent and crazy.
So I guess sort of that's themessage I'm trying to say.

(23:44):
Like it's exciting, but it's.
The excitement to me doesn'talways come from.
I feel like you've got amillion things you want to say
that's good, but the excitementdoesn't always come from.
I think I think when non, likeat a call, like I've got a joke
recently that either landsreally well or doesn't, and I've
been trying to make it workeven even better.
But it is just about how I wishI could ride one of my cats,

(24:08):
like I wish my cat was ahorse-sized cat and that's it.
And it's like comparing theproblems between my cat not
being a car and my car not likeand the.
You know, like it's, it's thereand I, you can, I can see you
enjoying it, but the.
Do you see how that almostfucks with your brain a little?
It's like it's got.
No, it's not real, there's noreality.

(24:31):
And that's what I'm sort oftrying to say.
I'm trying to say that thingsare real but also subjective at
the same time.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (24:37):
Do you see other people you wish you lived
their lives?
Do you have that in any way?

Sharam (24:42):
Was somebody famous.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (24:44):
I'm not asking for a specific person,
but do you see that?

Sharam (24:47):
There's a couple people.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (24:48):
Yeah, yeah, you know, and they have the same
thing.
They have the same thing too.
What happens is it's a currencythat you're not using.
You build the currency andyou're not using it.
Let's say, being fit, forexample.

Sharam (25:02):
Yeah.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (25:02):
Now you're fit, now you get to live your
life as a fit person.
You can walk around and enjoyall the benefits.
Now you spend that currency.
When you write a joke, joke's acurrency.

Sharam (25:10):
Yeah, I relate to that, you can spend those jokes, turn
into money.
Yeah.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (25:15):
And you buy things with it.
It's a currency.
So it's like when you have thegoal and by money I mean
whatever it is that, whetherit's having a set or there's
being fit now you have thatmoney, you store it away and you
find another stream of income.
You store it away and you andthen, when you want to, and you
when you want to, you couldspend that currency but, that

(25:36):
that's what it is you.
You don't get currencyed out.
You just keep spending money,just keep spending.
And that's what?
Um uh, when you achieve yourgoal, you, now you have a
currency you can spend howeveryou want to use.
You accomplished, you know, youbeat your depression, the
anxiety.
Now you get to use that andsome aspect on your next life
that you built for yourself.
Everything that you're doing.

(25:57):
Every goal you accomplishdoesn't go to the side.
It just makes you stronger forthe next goal.

Sharam (26:01):
Yeah, and that's what I'm saying.
It makes you stronger for thenext goal, what's that?
And then you yeah, and that'swhat I'm saying.
Makes you stronger for the nextgoal, what's that?

Ashley M Fils-Aime (26:07):
And then you do that, and then what's that?
If you don't know what the nextgoal is, then you just have to
live your life until you getinspired.
You can't force it.

Sharam (26:13):
No, I haven't been.
To be honest, stand-up is oneof those things I've always
wanted to do.
I you know people talk aboutrepresentation.
Some people like, ah, inclusionand representation, that's bad.
I'm like, ah, you know 30, yeah30 was the guy.
When I saw him perform likehe's from the same background as

(26:33):
me, like zoroastrian half, yeah, and I'm like, oh, I didn't
know we were allowed to do that.
I literally thought we all hadto be accountants and lawyers
and I was for shaming them notdoing that sort of stuff.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (26:43):
You can't leave a left recording for other
people, man yeah, exactly ifthat's the case, you might as
well care about how their bloodtastes.
What, yeah, if you care thatmuch about, you might as well
care how their blood tastes.

Sharam (26:54):
Like it's like okay, I mean I get it, but I don't love
that for you.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (26:59):
I love that, that's yeah I'm just saying you
don't, you, don't you, you?
You might as well care abouthow this shit smells yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah okay it's like he iswhat no, what I'm trying to say
is look, man, nobody has aright to, and that's, this is a
thing that I've learned to.
I, I've learned, and sometimesI forget, and I have to relearn,

(27:21):
which is fine, because that'sthe point of forgetting is to
remember yourself, um, which isread, and then remember yeah,
yeah, yeah remember yourself.
The thing is that you're nothere.
You're not here on this earthto create, to do anything other
than create yeah that's whyyou're here to create says the
artist.

Sharam (27:37):
I'm saying that because if you were a doctor, you might
think differently but if I was adoctor, I could.
I could think the same thingyeah, yeah, I mean, you could, I
could, you could.
I'm not saying, you won't yeah,but you know it's well the
reason I'm saying that is enoughwork life in in relationship
coaching you often see everyonesort of has like a distinct
amount of metaphors that theyview, like lenses that they view

(27:59):
the world well, look, but adoctor does create, though
everybody creates yeah, yeah,you're right, you, you create
yourself anew like it's.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (28:05):
It's not like it's.
It's not like it's it's.
It all comes from gratitude andall comes from understanding
that you're here not to appeaseother people.
And then and that means anybody, from your parents to your
friends you have to cut thatshit out and live within
yourself.
As long as you're not hurtinganybody else, then you're fine

(28:28):
man, and if you doing somethinghurts them, then that's not your
problem, that's their problemand that's and they're impeding
on your life, to, to, to andyour right to live as a human.
If you're stabbing somebody,then, yeah, motherfucker, stop.
You're hurting them yeah ifyou're stabbing yourself as
fucked up as it sounds.
Uh, you know, that's what youchoose for yourself, then I have

(28:49):
the decision to I.
I have to make a choice whetherI think it's a bad thing if, if,
if I allowed to hurt me, or youknow I'm saying like you are
responsible for your own, uh,feelings.
And when we start letting otherpeople control, and even
indirectly control, how we, howwe dictate ourselves, it's
fucking fucked.
It's like, you know, beingmarried, you know they, I, you

(29:11):
know my wife's thoughts.
When you're married, you're one, so I guess it's different, but
, um, cause, like my wife'sthoughts about me really affects
me.
So and how she feels, causetogether we're one, but outside
of that man, I don't give a fuck, like I don't care what you
know anybody else thinks, really, and I do.
You know, as a comedian, you'resupposed to care about the
audience.

Sharam (29:31):
How do you reconcile that within yourself?

Ashley M Fils-Aime (29:33):
yeah, well, that's the thing.
You know what's funny?
You know, I've done shows wherethe audience didn't laugh and
I'm like I don't give a shit.
That was, that wasn't my fault,that was just the audience yeah
, I've done many of those.

Sharam (29:42):
Yeah, I did one of those last night.
Yeah, yeah, oh.
And the worst is, then theyleave and they're like that was
so good.
I'm like what are you talkingabout?

Ashley M Fils-Aime (29:51):
yeah, yeah, well, they'll tell you those
you'll be.
There'll be two comments ago.
You were funny.
Uh, yeah, you were good too, orsome shit like that, like you
know, the audience oh the other.

Sharam (30:00):
The other core message I guess I would have is that it's
okay to not make sense.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (30:05):
It's perfectly okay.

Sharam (30:06):
Wait, wait, wait, wait wait, Because we're talking,
yeah, because we're talkingabout like, ooh, who are you
trying to please?
And it's like I the more Iwrite comedy, the more I realize
there's a core of me that isdeeply afraid that no one will
understand what I truly amthinking and feeling.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (30:32):
But that's exactly what is your
breakthrough.
That's exactly what makes youwho you are.

Sharam (30:36):
Yeah, exactly.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (30:37):
But we're always afraid they're not going
to get it.
So what do we do?
We end up writing a joke adifferent way, so they can
understand which is so fucked up.
I agree If you write it the wayyou write, because we're all
humans, man, we know what youmean, we know what you're trying
to say that's a great, I likethat.
Yeah, it's like yeah, okay, no,fair enough yeah, so even so,
you're writing to and that I getcaught up in that too when I'm
writing jokes.
That's something that doesn'tleave.

(30:57):
It just doesn't present it.
It presents itself less youknow, what I'm saying.
So, like man, I'll be writing abook.
Man, this makes so much senseto me.
But they're not going to get it.
And then I go fuck, I'll try itanyway.
And then they get it, andthere's just a, it's a great
feeling.
And then there are times wherethey don't get it and you have
to go back and go oh too, you'renot performing to aliens,

(31:22):
you're not performing to peoplewho don't speak english yeah,
you know what I'm saying, sothat's a great lesson that
you've imparted.

Sharam (31:28):
Yeah, yeah that's, that's.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (31:30):
That's the key man.
I feel that too, like they'renot gonna get it.
They're not gonna get, or Ijust it makes sense to me, but
it doesn't make sense to them,which is the exact thing you
should be doing, what you thinkdoesn't make sense.
That's what do you want to makesense with all the other
comedians?
Yeah, no, you want to stand outright then fucking don't make
sense, and that make that theessence of not making sense.

Sharam (31:48):
Make sense yeah, no, I get that, that's a you're the
perfect candidate because?

Ashley M Fils-Aime (31:55):
because you don't make sense.
You don't make any sense, butI'm entertained, I'm I'm always
entertained, like whenever I'mscrolling through.
I'm like what, what are youdoing now?
You're always doing some weirdshit, man, and I find it so
entertaining.
This guy is very strange butvery entertaining at the same
time.
But I don't get what he's doinghere, but it's entertaining to
watch.
I think you're one of the mostentertaining people that I have

(32:17):
on my Instagram and TikTok.

Sharam (32:19):
I appreciate that that is a lot and I'm never going to
forget that.
Once I used to do this joke,which never gonna forget that.
Um, once I used to do this joke, which I stopped because it was
just too volatile.
It either worked perfectly orit was just insane.
It was basically me repeating ajoke over and over again but
adding the word cat to it everysingle time, because it was

(32:39):
meant to be that.
I was locked in a logic loopbecause it's like my girlfriend
and I we like adding the wordcat to things to make it funnier
.
Like so cat dinner is betterthan dinner, cat breakfast is
better than breakfast, becausewe have cats and we just think
it's cute.
And so the joke is I just keeprepeating it and I'm sort of it
becomes a bit of a clowning LikeI'm stuck in this journey of I
can't.
And so I'm now at a point whereit's like five, six times and

(33:07):
I'm like, oh, and my cat, cat,cat, cat, this and the cat.
Oh, but my girlfriend and I welove to add the word cat to
things, so that joke would bebetter with an extra cat.
And so I've repeated the samejoke, but where I've added a cat
there's an extra word, cat.
So now I'm saying cat five, tentimes in each spot, okay, and
the audience is like likethey're like when it really
works.
The audience is like no, stopit.
They're like yelling andlaughing and abusing and they're
seeing that I'm stuck in abecause I have a bit of a I
would say a structured brain,like a brain where I can get

(33:29):
really stuck into habits it's acatastrophe, yeah, exactly and
one point.
I did that and this girl stuckher hand up and the whole
audience is like laughing andthis and that I was doing really
well, and this girl goes.
I don't get what the joke isokay and and I was like that, I
think, is the reaction I wasafter.
It was such a weird moment, butthen I was like nah, I think I

(33:53):
want it to make a little bitmore sense.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (33:54):
Have you heard of Andy Kaufman?

Sharam (33:56):
People have mentioned him to me.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (33:59):
I think you should really watch a
documentary about him and thenwatch the movie Jim Carrey did
about him.
That's where you're leaningtowards.
Everything you're talking abouthas 100% Andy Kaufman man.

Sharam (34:11):
I think I understand.
I'm just going to be thinkingabout your phrase before, where
you're like they're not, they'rehuman, they're human, they're
not aliens.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (34:19):
They get it, they're not.
They're always going to get it,man, because you're speaking
with them.
There's no separation betweenyou and the audience, man.
They're just people, and thenthey just happen to be sitting
at a different place and theydon't have a microphone, but
they're listening and there'senergy, man, it's a vibration,
it's the energy that you'reemitting, it's the energy that
they're accepting and theyunderstand because, of the

(34:41):
frequency.

Sharam (34:41):
But you're also transmitting everything.
So this is what I learned from.
Coaching is like if you'retransmitting in your frequency,
no one understands this.
They're picking up on the jokeand then no one understands this
yeah and they're like well, Iunderstand it.
So now there's a disconnect.
Does that make sense?
So so, like in a relationship,you're like, I like you, let's

(35:02):
hang out.
But you're also like oh, pleaselike me, because otherwise I
won't like myself.
They can feel that and they go.
But I like you.
But why do I have to validateyour feelings at the same time?
And then that comes off asneedy.
So I'm very aware of like.
When I first started I thinkyou said something like that.
It's like, it's a relationshipwith you and the audience, like
yeah, that's what I've come intowith this hoping and feeling

(35:22):
and thinking.
You know, I don't know what Iwas expecting with this podcast,
but it came out a lot moreintrospective than I thought.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (35:29):
You wanted to be wild?
No, I didn't, because you're awild cat.

Sharam (35:33):
No, I don't know what I was going for.
To be honest, this is the firstinterview we've done with this
and I'm pretty happy with it.
It's good man, but I can'tremember what I was going to say
.
It's an interesting thing.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (35:45):
You're talking about you being needy,
yeah it's like needing to beunderstood.

Sharam (35:50):
I feel like, as I've been like, the more I'm okay
leaning into the insanity, themore they're like oh, this is
just what he is.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (35:58):
When you become.
You want to be at a level whereyou become unapologetically
yourself.
Yeah, People respect that.
When you're unapologetic andyou're yourself, people go this
person, because you know whatEverybody wants to do that, yeah
, everybody wishes they had theballs to fucking be that strange
and be that weird.
So they just gravitate to itand they start living via

(36:20):
curiosity through you.
And that's how you get fans,because they know you're fucking
strange, and you through you,and that's how you get fans,
because that, because they knowyou're fucking strange, and then
they want to be strange too.
Exactly, there's a there's agroup of you know, there's a
group of us out there whothere's.
There's a group of people outthere who resonate with you, and
there's a group and there'salso a group who doesn't.
And that's just the way of theworld.
So you just keep doing yourthing and you'll filter out the
ones who resonate and you'll,you'll get your own man, and

(36:42):
that's how that shit works, man.

Sharam (36:43):
Do you have your following yet?
I feel like you had.
When you started posting yourstuff for your stand-up.
It was just like it took offquite quickly.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (36:50):
Yeah, and then I stopped.

Sharam (36:51):
How come?

Ashley M Fils-Aime (36:52):
I just fucking stopped.

Sharam (36:53):
Yeah, you can, you don't have to no it was when I put
myself on Instagram.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (36:58):
On TikTok, I had 400 followers Like.
Within a week and a half itwent to 13,000.
Yeah, and then I'm like oh okay, but then what happened was
they'll be like, let's say,there's a thousand comments,
there'll be two comments thatare bad, and it was fucking with
me.
I'm like I don't think I wantthis Because I'll get really

(37:19):
angry.
I'm like who the fuck are you?

Sharam (37:20):
Then I started talking to other people who had
followings.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (37:21):
I was talking to Anissa, I was talking
to Dave Thornton other commentswho have followings and I was
like how do you deal with that?
They go, we don't give a fuck.
I go, you know what, I'm notgoing to give a fuck either.
So then, but I had stoppedposting and then I started when
I started you become a mark togo oh so just suppress your

(37:44):
views and then you got to keepposting and posting and posting
it.
To get back to that work and Idon't, I don't fucking want to
do that they also do a thing.

Sharam (37:51):
I one of my theories is they do make it harder every
single time so if you're ifyou're going well, there will be
a point where now they're likeyou could work a little bit
harder.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (38:04):
Yeah.

Sharam (38:05):
So I do think if you're playing an algorithmic game, you
are playing the algorithm.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (38:11):
Yeah.

Sharam (38:12):
You're not always.
Some people are like, oh, it'sjust give people what they're
interested in, and it's like,yeah, okay, but there is like a
weird algorithmic distribution.
For example, if you grow tooquickly here's a fun fact that I
have a theory and I do thinkit's true If you grow too
quickly, it's because you'vereached new audiences, but not
everyone in that audience isgoing to like you.

(38:32):
So if you've got your followersgrow way too quickly, then you
start pushing out content.
Those followers go oh, but Iliked it, only like this one
aspect.
So, say, you've done a jokeabout Minecraft and you hate
doing jokes about Minecraft.
You've now reached the.
Minecraft audience and nowthey're all your followers.
So if you do a joke that's notMinecraft, they're going to be

(38:53):
like what the hell is this?
So suddenly you're penalizedfor actually growing too quickly
?

Ashley M Fils-Aime (38:57):
That's fucking strange man.

Sharam (38:58):
Yeah, it's a weird result so it's fucking.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (39:02):
That world is so strange.
People would rather becomefamous quicker than learning the
art.

Sharam (39:07):
That's my wife that's alright, we'll wrap it up soon.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (39:11):
No, no, she's sending a message.
People are so in comedy,everything's about comedy, and
people are so obsessed withbecoming famous that comedy is
secondary.
It shouldn't be secondary, itshould be the prime, and it's
really fucked up.
A lot of comedians and I feelbad for comedians in this
generation, man, I really do,because they will never

(39:33):
understand the experience ofhaving to be funny on stage
first, then growing youraudience.
Instead, what they do is theygrow their audience.
A lot of them do that.
That's fine.
They grow their audience and,uh, and they get into comedy and
some of them do well, but amajority of them don't.
But they have numbers, you know, and it's just like they're all
about the net.
They've jumped into that creepyfucking agent vibe you know

(39:56):
what I'm saying Like they're soconcerned about their numbers
and stuff and their jokes arelacking.
You see comics who have hugenumbers, who sell all the time,
and then you see them in anenvironment where the crowd
doesn't know who they are andthey fail and it's just like
it's because you're upset withthe numbers and good for you.
I guess you can't have both,you know.
Yeah, so you know, maybe youcan't, but I wish them well.

(40:19):
I don, but I'm just saying I'mglad I grew up in an era where I
had to be funny.
I'd rather kill all the timethan fucking be the person that
is well-known and everybodyaround me is killing more than
me which is predominant in thisindustry.

Sharam (40:33):
One of my mindsets straight from the start and this
is something I carried overfrom coaching was you get the
gigs you get If I don't say, forexample, you're currently
performing at the lounge, I'mcurrently not performing at the
lounge.
I'm currently not performing atthe lounge.
If I'm not performing at thelounge, it's because I currently
need to not be performing atthe lounge.
Does that make sense?
No, as in like, if I ask for agig and they say no, I haven't

(40:57):
actually asked or communicatedwith the lounge at all.
But say I ask for something andthey say no, in my mind it's
because I needed to hear the nomore than I needed the
performance.
I need to actually learn how tohandle rejection more.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (41:11):
Oh yeah, boy things in this business man you
rejection is, you get fivethousand no's in one year yeah,
I'm actually starting to enjoyit, yeah it's, it's.
That's that shit's hard man.
You get five thousand no's inone yes.
What what I've learned to uhget up, uh try to balance myself
with is seeing the someonewho's asking for the same thing
that I'm asking for, who I knowis not nearly as half as

(41:32):
talented as I am, or well, it'ssubjective, so it's half as um.
On the level, there's differentlevels to it.
There's levels to this shit andthey're not on the same level
and they're getting a lot morejust because they got purple
hair or some shit like that.
You know that's that levels toit.
There's levels to this shit andthey're not on the same level
and they're getting a lot morejust because they got purple
hair or some shit like that.
You know that's how it is whatI'm just saying some person's
very weird.

(41:52):
You know what I'm saying someperson's very, and they're not
funny, but they're just strange,and people just not people, but
the, the agencies gravitate tothem.
You know they're supply, demand.

Sharam (42:03):
It's.
There's a different demand.
Is that what you're trying?
But there's no demand for whatthey're doing.
Oh, okay, and I?

Ashley M Fils-Aime (42:07):
thought there's no demand for that shit.
But then again, what do I know?
I'm not an agent, but I do knowthis business.
I do know, you know how it isfrom the stage point of view.
So I don't know what they'relooking for.
And I've just learned to dealwith that.
Let's learn to just be my own.
Um, uh, I'm strong enough to dothings on my own.
I don't necessarily need tohave an agent.
I have a cruise agent andthat's great.

(42:27):
But I've tried to get agenciesand it just never came to
fruition.
And I'm a big believer in Godand the universe, whichever way
you look at it, and know thatwhatever you're doing is exactly
what you're supposed to bedoing.

Sharam (42:44):
Yeah, exactly.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (42:44):
Nothing happens by.
There's no such thing as ascoincidence, there's no such
thing as this shouldn't happen,even in accidents.
You know that's what wassupposed to happen.
It's just, it's just hard toaccept and it's really hard to
gather, because we don't want todig that deep in ourselves or
dig that deep into whatever itis to figure things out.
But man, life is a great game,man, it's just a game to be
played, because we're all goingto die.

Sharam (43:03):
Yeah, exactly, it's like that's the point.
Yeah, that's what I'm trying tosay.
We're all going to die.
Everything's a verb.
That's all I'm trying to say.
The revolution is a verb.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (43:16):
Yeah.

Sharam (43:18):
It's a metaphor, but maybe it's not.
I'm not sure yet we did it.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (43:24):
Yeah, the revolution.
You know what your revolutionis, man what a question mark
yeah, one of the original.

Sharam (43:33):
I was like later on, if we start the revolution, we're
gonna well, one of my ideas washaving a if, if this ever gets a
following is having like a um,a nonsensical, what do they?
They call it.
Everyone has the signs.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (43:47):
Protest.

Sharam (43:47):
Yeah, like a protest, but about nothing.
So everyone comes and they'veall got questions what do?
We want.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (43:53):
What do we want now?
Yeah, literally that.

Sharam (43:57):
Or everyone gets signs and they've all got question
marks.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (44:00):
This is the podcast that you're talking
about.
I thought you already started.
This is it.
You've done commercials for it.
I'm like I don't know what thisis about, so I'm the first
guest.

Sharam (44:07):
You're the first guest.
This is what I'm.
Was that not clear from thestart?

Ashley M Fils-Aime (44:15):
It all just came in?

Sharam (44:18):
Yeah, because you went on this whole thing of like man,
you're just not focusing on thejokes enough.
I'm like yeah, I agree with you.
I've made that shift in thelast two months and that's where
this podcast.
Do you know why I'm doing this?
One of the reasons it's becauseI've started writing so much.
I realize when you solveproblems writing yeah you

(44:38):
actually start to solve it inyour life as a whole absolutely
yeah.
So I'm like, oh, I can't thinkabout something funny in this,
like, say, for example, aboutmobile phones, and then I
realized, oh, it's because,whatever reason why I've buried
that deep down yeah and then, asI open up, I start to actually
make my life more inspiring yeahbecause it's like I need more
things to trigger me, but nowI'm more open to it so you know

(45:00):
your.
Your external world reflectsyour internal world so me
starting the podcast is also mebeing like oh, I'm actually
starting to access all thethings I want to say okay and
that's why you're like what doyou want to talk about?
I'm like I'm actually not sure,but I know it's in there, it's
a, it's trying to and, yeah,you're like we're all gonna die
someday, like you did it.
Yeah, thanks for the 40-minutetherapy session.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (45:24):
But you finally came.

Sharam (45:27):
We're all on this journey together and you die
someday.
And it's like what is thejourney?
Writing jokes, performing it,that's it.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (45:36):
I will say this though, man you have to
connect.
Whatever your soul wants to do.
You experience yourself throughthought, but thought isn't
enough.
You got to experience yourselfexperientially Whatever that
word is, you have to experienceyourself experientially.
Whatever that word is, you haveto experience it yourself.
So you have thought, and thenyou have the thought goes into
experience, and that's whatwe're all doing.
We're after the experience,we're just going to experience
things.
That's what all life isexperience, whether you're

(45:58):
telling a joke on stage, youwant to experience the stuff.
When you're having sex, you wantto experience having sex.
Everything is an experience.
When you're eating, you want toexperience tasting the food.
You want to experience taking ashit to get out of your system.
Everything is an experience,man.
That's what a revolution is man?
What are you?
What do you want to experiencebefore you expire?

Sharam (46:17):
Yeah, comedy.
Yeah, to be honest, it wasoriginally.
Do you know why I stopped?
And I've got to stop sayingthis everywhere I go because
eventually my mom will hear it.
Um, I realized I quit being astand.
I'm not stand up.
I quit being a coach.
I stopped actively marketing itbecause I realized the entire
time I was just trying to get mymom and dad to connect.

(46:39):
Like it was like a little kid inme who was like, maybe if I
make men better, my dad willconnect with my mom maybe if I
make women help to connect, getover men's issues or get over
whatever my dad, because mydad's an insane man yeah maybe
if I was a better man, I couldbe what he wasn't right and so I

(47:00):
am very well prepared that Imight, at the age of 90, after
doing comedy for however manyyears, realize oh wait, a second
.
I was just trying to make onekid in high school laugh, yeah
like, and that could have justfueled an entire lifetime of
things.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (47:16):
I'm very aware of the subconscious I mean
, look, they say, hitler was his, his uh yeah his thing was he
was in love with this jewishgirl and I mean he's in love
with this girl and I mean he'sin love with this girl and the
girl didn't like him back andleft him for a Jewish person and
that shit spawned this wholefucking hatred towards Jews.
I've heard that before.
I don't know if it's true, butI mean that could make sense.

(47:40):
Man, yours is a villain story,but you're not a villain.

Sharam (47:43):
You know what I'm saying .
It's like you I can, okay, likeyou know like no, but I'll the
green goblin yeah but I'll tellyou okay, I like you're saying
villain story without a villain.
I very relate to that, verymuch yeah um, my only answer
rebuttal to that is is thatoften, narratively, villains are
just the hero, but goneunchecked.

(48:05):
So like Spider-Man isSpider-Man, but the Rhino is
someone who's gotten whateverRhino genes, who knows.
But now they're unhinged,basically they're an unhinged
version of the hero.
Yeah, is that what you mean?
No no that's not what I mean.
Explain more before I interruptwhat I'm trying to say is that
you're you.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (48:25):
No, that's not what I mean.
Explain more before I interruptyou.
What I'm trying to say is thatsomething spawns, something
happens in our life that'spersonal, that's traumatic, and
it creates who we are.
And so your traumatic thing was, from what I understand,
something your parents'relationship being in a bit of
turbulence or whatever, and thatturbulence you've ingested and

(48:47):
you've taken that on and you'vebeen trying to work that shit
out, but I've resolved itExactly and now I'm aware that
other things could be resolved.

Sharam (48:55):
Does that make sense?
I'm like the subconscious mindis a fickle.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (48:58):
So you want more.
You let the taste of it beingresolved, let the journey of it.
Yeah, I guess so now, that'snow that you're, you're, you're,
you're.
That's that taste, is it's likeuh, working at mcdonald's man?
You before you, before beforeyou went to mcdonald's, you know
the zionist support ambassadorsthat they are um you, um you uh

(49:19):
let's get political.
Say what you're really tryingto say um, you, you, before you
work at mcdonald's, you think abig mac is interesting, and you,
then you start, then you go tomcdonald's, yeah, and you get
there and then you work thereyeah and I you know big, you
don't care.
You don't care about big macsanymore.
You've already conquered that.
So you want to go somewhereelse?

Sharam (49:39):
so that's what you have that with comedy, where you're
like now it's not the same, nah,the the more I've learned, the
more I appreciate being likethat.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (49:45):
I love it.
I love it so much that it'sbecause it's the only thing that
I didn't go to school for.
It's the only thing that I'veever committed for in my life.
You know, it's the only thingthat's kept me.
That keeps one of the onlythings that and God.
But I'm saying outside of thatit's.
You can say whatever you wantto about me, but you can never
say I'm not funny.
You can never say you know?
A lot of people used to talk alot of shit about me growing up

(50:07):
and they still do now currently.
Whatever Not a lot of people,whatever but in comedy they
can't fuck with me as far aslike, because they can't say
dick.
It's like.
Comedy is my kryptonite forthem and I like that and I'm
doing.
I'm doing it because I enjoy it, I love it.
I love making people laugh.
Fortunately, since I was eightyears old, I always knew I would

(50:28):
become a comedian.
That's fine and ten years laterI started, so it wasn't like.
So I found myself veryfortunate that I knew what I
wanted.
A lot of people don't know whatthey want to do.
You know, I say, if you don'tknow what you want to do that,
no matter how crazy it is, justdo that, do that, work towards
doing that, and in the processof doing that, you're going to
have to do something you don'twant to do.

(50:48):
To do that.

Sharam (50:49):
Yeah.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (50:49):
You know what I'm saying.

Sharam (50:50):
Like a work 9 to 5.
Yeah, exactly.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (50:52):
I've had many jobs.
I was a plasterer, I was awaiter, I was a janitor, I was
18.
When you're 18, you're young,you don't know.
Yeah, you sort of got yeah, andI lived in my car too.

(51:15):
So I was like I was kind ofhome because my parents were
like you can't do that shit here, get out my biggest fans today.
They're my biggest fans in myfamily.
I thought I had fans there.
They're my biggest fans, sothat's my mom right there.
By the way, the lady in themiddle.

Sharam (51:28):
Oh nice, she's much shorter than you.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (51:30):
Yeah, it makes me feel pretty tall.
Is that your partner?
Yeah, that's your wife.
Yeah, yeah, she's Lebanese.

Sharam (51:35):
Oh nice, I don't.

Ashley M Fils-Aime (51:35):
I've been with her for 11 years and she's
never raised her voice at me.
Are you quiet around her?
No, yeah, opposites attract.
She's very reserved.
She's a vegan.
She's a nutritionist.
You know what I'm saying?
She's very reserved, she's verydisciplined.
She's everything that I'm not.

Sharam (52:06):
And I think maybe in an aspect I'm everything that she
isn't because I'm undisciplinedand I'm pretty wild.
I don't think you'reundisciplined at all.
Maybe you mean that in apositive way, I don't know.
But again I was going to sayI've realized that sometimes the
right career is a little bitlike being in the right
relationship.
I've noticed again throughcoaching people's negative
patterns are all their fears.
If they're meeting someonewho's really right for them,

(52:27):
they'll actually get over alltheir issues, yeah, or issues
that they usually red flags theyusually found in someone else
is no longer good enough.
Like there were all of thisstuff that I usually were like
with my partner, like, oh no, Iwould have left by then but I
was like man that's fine,whatever.
And she's like okay, he's loud,he's obnoxious, whatever yeah um
, we're gonna have to wrap thisup in a second.

(52:48):
But the question will we jointhe revolution?
Of course, yeah.
Yeah, that's all.
You've been seduced, I don'teven know.
All right, bye.