April 11, 2025 • 20 mins
haha. All jokes aside I am having quite a lot of fun.
We are half way through the Melbourne International Comedy Festival and I had my first reviewer. What an insane time.
Despite positive reviews from regular human beings, the big reviewer took it out of me. Mostly because I had not experienced one before.
In this episode of Sharam Namdarian starts a revolution we deal with the idea of ego death, dealing with rejection and how people react to you and your art sometimes.
I am actually having so much fun, I don't know why people keep telling me that I am not.
• Received first-ever review from <REDACTED> during my festival run
• Taking the negative review too personally initially, but realising all great comedians have bad reviews, now I am a great comedian
• Tendency to bite off more than I can chew as a method of growth
• Making life unnecessarily harder through overthinking and overcomplicating
• Working to heal rejection sensitivity through recognising it's just data
• Art as artefacts of becoming, healing and letting go
• The revolution continues with one member, will you join?
Send me Fan Mail! It could be anything, we are desperate at this point.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi and welcome to Sharam Namdarian Starts a
Revolution, the ego death.
That is this.
This is why, if you're watchingthe video version, I'm just
chilling, relying on the floor.
Just death, death of self.
We are halfway through theMelbourne International Comedy
(00:22):
Festival and it has been a riot.
There have been ups, there havebeen downs, there have been
laughters, there has been theego death.
This revolution is going to behard and fast and fought, but
you better believe we're goingto get there in the end.
We will start this revolutionand it will have no purpose and
(00:42):
it will have no cause.
This revolution, and it willhave no purpose and it will have
no cause.
The festival has been fun.
So we're at the halfway mark.
Right, it's been.
It's saturday now.
Uh, I started on the monday.
I've got one more show.
It's saturday, so there's twomore shows this week and then
there's another seven days.
So if you haven't come down yet, come down.
(01:06):
Obviously, I'll know.
If you have or not come down.
I don't know you personally,but whatever, it's a fun show.
But we had a reviewer from theAge come through on the
Wednesday and I gotta tell youI've never had a reviewer come
before and I gotta tell you.
I've never had a reviewer comebefore.
I reckon I took it waypersonally than I needed to do.
(01:31):
I've never had a reviewer, letalone someone from what is, dare
I say, a reputable source, andI was very confronted by the
whole thing.
I also had comedians talking inthe background, which was
possibly both distracting for meand for the actual reviewer.
(01:53):
Now, for a while I was mad andI was blaming them a little bit,
but at the very point of it allis that I should have been
whatever.
We're at the start of myfucking journey, right?
This is the whole point of thisis this is a rags to riches
podcast and you can't have ragsto riches without the rags.
(02:13):
So the reviewer came back withuh, dare I say a, uh, not the
most review, um, and it fuckinghurt.
It hurt, I am exhausted, I amwounded and I have taken the
whole thing way too personally.
(02:37):
I realized up until this pointwhen it comes to comedy, one of
the biggest things you can dealwith is the fear of rejection,
and you're constantly dealingwith rejection, with do people
like your ideas?
You can be the best.
I know some people who are, Iwould say, pretty good, and
they're telling me about howthey themselves have bad reviews
(03:02):
and it's like famous, what isit?
Famous comedian Lenny Brucefrom the good old days I think
he died in the late 60s Wasconstantly arrested for what he
said on stage.
So what I'm trying to say hereis, while when I finally got the
review because I've never beenreviewed for before my emotional
(03:24):
fucking landscape just did notknow how to handle it, when I
got the review it hurt.
But when I got the review Irealized from ego death comes
ego phoenix, which is, I got,I'm a comedian now.
No great comedian does not haveat least one shit review and
(03:50):
it's fantastic.
From that end of the spectrum Ifeel like I'm finally
manifesting that destiny.
Like, obviously the goal incomedy is to get so good we
accidentally start a revolution.
Obviously the goal in comedy isto get so good we accidentally
start a revolution.
But it is interesting that inthe highs and the lows of it all
(04:13):
that a reviewer like who do youlisten to?
You know, when deciding howwell you're going and when we're
talking about how well, I'm notsaying you know, because
there's not like a reallyarbitrary, there's not like a
definite objective level ofwellness when it comes to,
(04:33):
especially any career in thearts.
There's only really ever whatyou want.
But do you listen to one personwho just has a publication that
is behind a paywall?
Or do you listen to the manypeople that came to the very
same night and afterwards toldyou about how good they thought
(04:54):
the show was?
Which do you prioritize?
The answer is the reviewer.
No, the answer.
I think it's a spectrum.
It changes from time to time,moment to moment.
If they gave me a positivereview, you better believe I
would have been posting allabout it, rather than making an
ego death podcast where I laydown on the floor naked for you.
(05:19):
But I just wanted the videoversion of this podcast to sort
of have a level of openness andvulnerability in this component
to it.
So that's it, you know.
And the show has not beenselling out.
But here's the secret I'll bidoff way more than I can chew.
(05:44):
That's a theme with me.
I'm learning to deal with that,because I realize now what I do
is I bite off more than I canchew, because that way I still
feel mediocre.
If I bit off exactly how much Ican chew, I would not feel bad
about myself, but I would not begrowing as fast as I am.
For example, I've realized if Ihad the same room as other
(06:08):
comedians had with the capacity,I could have very easily have
said I have sold out my show,baby.
I'm watching them say I havesold out my show.
Tuesday sold out, wednesdaysold out.
Some of them genuinely have bigspaces, some of them don't.
Some of, yeah, but if out, someof them genuinely have big
spaces, some of them don't, yeah, but if I had some of those
spaces, I could have very welleasily said I've sold out the
(06:31):
show.
So my whole shtick or the jokeI've been now saying is if I
ever sell out the show, you'renot going to see me post about
it, you'll just see me driving anew car because that's how much
money that show would.
That's funds for.
Look, I've been on a big trendin my life.
(06:54):
I don't know if you relate tothis at all or if you ever feel
like you should or want torelate to this, but I've been on
a very interesting journey ofmaking my life easier.
I had a breakthrough maybearound a month ago, where I
realized I actually make my lifeso much harder because, for
(07:14):
some weird reason, I wasprogrammed to think life should
be harder than it is.
So that meant to two ends ofthe spectrum.
That meant thinking thatpositive, good things should be
harder.
For example, comedy, comedy isgreat, gym, health, that should.
In my head there's a bunch ofstuff that I was actually
(07:35):
uncomfortable with them beingeasy, so I made them harder.
I made myself work harder forthem.
If it was came easy, I justoverdid it, overcomplicated it,
you know.
And on the other end of thespectrum, the things that were
hard already I thought should beharder.
I should be struggling withthem more than I am.
So I emotionally overcomplicated it all.
So, like a good example sincewe're on the topic of comedy,
(07:59):
maybe I've got this thing whereit's like oh, writing jokes
should be hard, should be thishardest thing in the whole world
.
Performing should be hard.
So I made it harder.
I stressed myself out, Ioverdid it.
I bite off more than I can chewThings, did it?
I bite off more than I can chewThings like that, you know,
just so I can feel when it'shard.
(08:19):
It still is hard compared tothe strength level that I'm at,
basically, but similarly Ialways thought that, like,
things that were naturallypainful should be harder than
they are like bombing have youever bombed before?
That's the easiest thing in theworld.
You know what you do.
You get off stage, you recover,done, recover, done.
It's not hard, but I made itmean something.
You know I'm gonna start thisrevolution.
(08:40):
It's gonna mean nothing, but Imade that mean something.
So one of the first things I didand I do want to like preach
preach to the skies for thisparticular person.
Uh, adrian from groundedstrength look it up, that was my
personal trainer, adrian fromgrounded strength.
For the last two to three yearshe's been my personal trainer
(09:05):
and it has been genuinely very,very, very, very good.
We lost so much weight, gainedso much muscle.
Uh, I'm now presenting to theworld in the way that I would
want to present to the world,but when I realized I'm making
my life so much harder, I neededto quit working with him.
(09:25):
One of the reasons why was money.
That's the main reason.
To be honest, the festival hastaken it out of me, since I bit
off a lot more than I can chewand it's like if I was to what's
the phrase?
It's like I want that money.
If I had that money, my lifewould be so much easier.
(09:47):
But also I need to integrateand digest everything I've
learned from my fitness Jesus.
To integrate and digesteverything I've learned from my
fitness Jesus.
So taking time to actuallythink about my own workouts,
taking time to digest theinformation, to create an
identity, an internalizedversion of myself, will actually
support my health career somuch more.
(10:08):
Taking time to be like what doI want, how do I know?
I've got all this knowledge butI've externalized it so much,
which is a thing that I do know.
On this whole topic of makingthings hard, I when I was
fucking what was it like?
29, 28 I had a big breakthroughwhere I realized I was.
So I identified as someone withenergy problems that I used to
go to the gym and work myselfout to to be tired, because I
(10:33):
didn't know how to have energy.
Like I thought I had energyproblems turns out, I just
thought I had energy problems,so I was uncomfortable with
having a lot of energy, so Ijust worked myself to a fucking
bone.
So it's this whole interestingthing.
So the ego death that I'mcurrently going through is this
idea that everyone's going tolove me, and it seems, when I
(11:00):
say this, it seems naive that Isay this out loud but art, art.
I've been thinking a lot aboutthis during the festival.
Art affirms the artist, it's,it heals the artist.
It also affirms identity in theartist, and so I've been
thinking a lot about where I'mat, as I'm performing, through
(11:23):
the festival, through the show,through this, hour after hour
after hour after hour.
What exactly is trying to bedigested, this identity part of
myself, what is that trying tobe digested, this identity part
of myself?
What is that trying to manifestitself?
And I haven't quite figured itout yet, but I was.
It's really just a fascinatingthing when you look at art from
(11:46):
that perspective.
Not only what are they tryingto say, but who are they trying
to become.
I think it's a reallyinteresting and beautiful way of
looking at art, looking at theartist, looking at where we're
at in life and where that personis at.
Art is artifacts, and it's anartifact of a becoming and it's
an artifact of a healing.
And it's an artifact of abecoming and it's an artifact of
(12:08):
a healing, it's an artifact ofletting go.
So this journey is reallyinteresting, you know.
Um, the other thing I've beennoticing is a lot of people give
me advice.
A lot of people give me adviceand you know, like you watched
last episode with Ash Filzamineand he was saying a lot of stuff
like you're not focusing on thejokes.
(12:29):
I'm like, dude, I'm focusing onthe jokes.
I don't understand.
And this is why I think allfeedback is good feedback,
because it's sort of like whatyou get to finally see how
someone else is interpreting theinformation.
And is that exactly what youwanted it to be?
I don't know.
I don't know if that's exactlywhat you know.
(12:50):
Are you okay with it?
I used to have this when I wasa relationship coach.
Did people fully understandwhat I was saying?
And I got to what I callemotional jujitsu.
It's this, this transmution ofpeople's the energy and the
understanding, and you can onlyreally transmute something when
you understand where it's at,and sometimes you can be like,
hey, they didn't understand it.
(13:13):
But you can be like, hey, Iactually didn't want them to
understand it.
I've got many jokes in the showthat actually rely on the
audience being like what thehell did he say?
And then I then use that asthat's the setup to another
punchline, because I'm a geniusbaby, yeah, so this whole thing
(13:35):
has made me realize that I don'tknow about you.
A lot of people on differentspectrums talk about rejection,
sensitivity.
Well, I do think I'm definitelyneuronal or neuro whatever it
is neuromild, not neuro spicy.
I definitely am primed to bemore sensitive to rejection.
The constant healing andmeditation I'm going through is
(13:55):
dealing with this perspective ofuh, will they love me, this
disease to please?
And I've realized that withsome of that, what's happened is
is, as I've healed my blockstowards being loved, as I've
dealt with that, as I'veprocessed that, as I've
(14:15):
meditated on that, I've actuallybeen more comfortable with
dealing with rejection, becausemy cup is full.
You know, you can't take awayfrom my cup, it so full.
And then finally, the reviewcame and it just emptied it out
and it was this oh, I am.
It's not fully a thing of I'mstruggling with feeling loved.
(14:38):
It's also I'm just afraid ofbeing rejected, because if I'm
rejected I won't know myself.
I won't know myself.
I'm not someone who allowedmyself to fully feel and digest
and process rejection.
So now I'm on this, thisjourney, this fun, powerful
journey of just get rejected.
(14:59):
The whole thing is rejectionand you know, what's amazing
about this story is that youmight be listening to this and
being like dude, dude, it's justone review.
Who fucking cares?
And it is just one review.
Who fucking cares If I let onereview hurt me?
I was never meant for this game,but then I did a spot at Dirty
(15:19):
Secrets.
Afterwards I had, you know justa spot.
I managed to get it in Duringmy show.
I'm not running it.
Artem is he?
You know just a spot.
I managed to get it in duringthe my show.
I'm not running it.
Adam is he's running the show?
Uh and ego, it's been fantastic.
But I did a spot and then aspeople left, everyone was like
that was great, that was great.
That was great, that was great.
Just, just a lot of that wasgreat.
(15:40):
And I'm like who's?
Data points, data points, datapoints, comedy.
Everything to me is just datapoints.
It's just feedback.
You get the feedback.
People like don't loseconfidence.
I'm like I haven't lostconfidence.
I might be in pain, but Ihaven't lost confidence.
Some people are like yeah,don't lose confidence.
(16:00):
I'm like it's just data, datain data out.
To me, creativity can beliterally summed up as that Data
in data out, which is why oneof the reasons why I feel
comfortable, at least for thetime being stopping personal
training.
I've got so much data in but Ineed my brain to digest it so I
can fully have some data out.
(16:21):
So I made a speaking of data, Imade a database and if you ever
see me in person, I'll show thisto you.
I'm not going to put it now.
I don't want to edit this.
Maybe I will for the videoversion.
I'll just chuck up a couplethings.
I'm going to wave my handaround so I can see it, but I
made a database of my workoutsand then I made some emojis with
(16:42):
my face using AI for each oneso I can symbolize, be like to
hey, this is the workout, thisis me doing that workout and
it's really fun.
Um, and it's the whole thing.
So this has been this podcast,this has been shamradaran starts
a revolution.
I did sort of want to talkabout like some fun stuff.
(17:03):
That was like oh why, why is itso much easier to pirate a show
than it is to watch it on thestreaming platform?
Like, literally the other day,my partner and I, even though we
pay for a platform or no, westopped paying for a platform
but there was one episode left,so we ended up just going on.
Like what is it?
One, two, three movies orsomething like that.
And what was funny about thatwas when we went on the pirating
(17:27):
website, it was actually easierto watch it on the pirating
website than it was to watch iton the original platform.
Uh, because now they're filledwith ads and I just sort of
wanted to riff on that a bit.
But look, I'm exhausted, I'mdilapidated.
I gotta save my energy for thefestival and I've gotta save my
energy for the revolution rightnow've got to save my energy for
the revolution Right now.
(17:49):
We've got one revolutionary.
That's Ashfield Zameen.
He has joined the thing he wasin the last episode.
Listen to that.
He gives me a lot of feedbackand then finally, at the end of
the episode, he goes we all diesomeday and I'm like, yeah, now
you get it.
What the hell?
Like that's what I was talkingabout the arbitrary nature of
(18:09):
existence.
So, look, this has been fun.
I not, I'm worried, but I dothink people think I'm not
enjoying the journey and I amhaving the most fun I've ever
had.
But what's happening is is, asyou perform so much comedy and
(18:30):
as you write so much, your lifeis so fun that you're probably
not expressing it all the time,because you need the hard stuff.
You know what I mean.
You need the like.
I'm taking so much crack thatin order for you to think I'm
even high anymore, I need thehard crack.
I don't know, there's ametaphor for you.
(18:51):
Anyway, this was Sharnam DarianStarts a revolution.
The podcast that we start arevolution about nothing where
me comedian, sharnam Darian getsso good at comedy the rags to
riches story.
We're in the rags phase Atleast that's where my emotional
spectrum.
I'll come back next week and belike, yeah, I crushed it, I'm
the best.
But well, we start a revolutionby accident and you know, if
(19:15):
you joined in the journey now,you're gonna, you're really in
for the whole, the whole.
You're in for the long haul iswhat I'm trying to say.
So I appreciate you listening tothis, I appreciate you watching
it and I appreciate you.
And if you, uh, if you areinterested in coming to the show
, message me, dm me, whatever, Ican give you a discount code or
(19:36):
whatever.
Uh, it is uh from Brunswick,with love.
It's meant to be this zoom in,you're gonna pluck, you're gonna
pluck a random person from theworld and's going to tell you
his story.
And that's me.
Um and uh, that's the comedyfestival show.
And um, dude, I'm excited fornext year.
I'm so excited for next yearwith this new routine of just
(19:59):
writing for an hour a day.
I am unblocking, I am healing,I am growing, I am getting
better, faster than ever before,which is probably one of the
reasons why the negative reviewshocked me, because I'm better
than I've ever been.
That's it.
Thanks for watching.
(20:19):
Thanks for listening.
Comment I joined the revolution, or message me who cares.
Join the revolution Bye.
Hi and welcome to Sharam Namdarian Starts a
Revolution, the ego death.
That is this.
This is why, if you're watchingthe video version, I'm just
chilling, relying on the floor.
Just death, death of self.
We are halfway through theMelbourne International Comedy
(00:22):
Festival and it has been a riot.
There have been ups, there havebeen downs, there have been
laughters, there has been theego death.
This revolution is going to behard and fast and fought, but
you better believe we're goingto get there in the end.
We will start this revolutionand it will have no purpose and
(00:42):
it will have no cause.
This revolution, and it willhave no purpose and it will have
no cause.
The festival has been fun.
So we're at the halfway mark.
Right, it's been.
It's saturday now.
Uh, I started on the monday.
I've got one more show.
It's saturday, so there's twomore shows this week and then
there's another seven days.
So if you haven't come down yet, come down.
(01:06):
Obviously, I'll know.
If you have or not come down.
I don't know you personally,but whatever, it's a fun show.
But we had a reviewer from theAge come through on the
Wednesday and I gotta tell youI've never had a reviewer come
before and I gotta tell you.
I've never had a reviewer comebefore.
I reckon I took it waypersonally than I needed to do.
(01:31):
I've never had a reviewer, letalone someone from what is, dare
I say, a reputable source, andI was very confronted by the
whole thing.
I also had comedians talking inthe background, which was
possibly both distracting for meand for the actual reviewer.
(01:53):
Now, for a while I was mad andI was blaming them a little bit,
but at the very point of it allis that I should have been
whatever.
We're at the start of myfucking journey, right?
This is the whole point of thisis this is a rags to riches
podcast and you can't have ragsto riches without the rags.
(02:13):
So the reviewer came back withuh, dare I say a, uh, not the
most review, um, and it fuckinghurt.
It hurt, I am exhausted, I amwounded and I have taken the
whole thing way too personally.
(02:37):
I realized up until this pointwhen it comes to comedy, one of
the biggest things you can dealwith is the fear of rejection,
and you're constantly dealingwith rejection, with do people
like your ideas?
You can be the best.
I know some people who are, Iwould say, pretty good, and
they're telling me about howthey themselves have bad reviews
(03:02):
and it's like famous, what isit?
Famous comedian Lenny Brucefrom the good old days I think
he died in the late 60s Wasconstantly arrested for what he
said on stage.
So what I'm trying to say hereis, while when I finally got the
review because I've never beenreviewed for before my emotional
(03:24):
fucking landscape just did notknow how to handle it, when I
got the review it hurt.
But when I got the review Irealized from ego death comes
ego phoenix, which is, I got,I'm a comedian now.
No great comedian does not haveat least one shit review and
(03:50):
it's fantastic.
From that end of the spectrum Ifeel like I'm finally
manifesting that destiny.
Like, obviously the goal incomedy is to get so good we
accidentally start a revolution.
Obviously the goal in comedy isto get so good we accidentally
start a revolution.
But it is interesting that inthe highs and the lows of it all
(04:13):
that a reviewer like who do youlisten to?
You know, when deciding howwell you're going and when we're
talking about how well, I'm notsaying you know, because
there's not like a reallyarbitrary, there's not like a
definite objective level ofwellness when it comes to,
(04:33):
especially any career in thearts.
There's only really ever whatyou want.
But do you listen to one personwho just has a publication that
is behind a paywall?
Or do you listen to the manypeople that came to the very
same night and afterwards toldyou about how good they thought
(04:54):
the show was?
Which do you prioritize?
The answer is the reviewer.
No, the answer.
I think it's a spectrum.
It changes from time to time,moment to moment.
If they gave me a positivereview, you better believe I
would have been posting allabout it, rather than making an
ego death podcast where I laydown on the floor naked for you.
(05:19):
But I just wanted the videoversion of this podcast to sort
of have a level of openness andvulnerability in this component
to it.
So that's it, you know.
And the show has not beenselling out.
But here's the secret I'll bidoff way more than I can chew.
(05:44):
That's a theme with me.
I'm learning to deal with that,because I realize now what I do
is I bite off more than I canchew, because that way I still
feel mediocre.
If I bit off exactly how much Ican chew, I would not feel bad
about myself, but I would not begrowing as fast as I am.
For example, I've realized if Ihad the same room as other
(06:08):
comedians had with the capacity,I could have very easily have
said I have sold out my show,baby.
I'm watching them say I havesold out my show.
Tuesday sold out, wednesdaysold out.
Some of them genuinely have bigspaces, some of them don't.
Some of, yeah, but if out, someof them genuinely have big
spaces, some of them don't, yeah, but if I had some of those
spaces, I could have very welleasily said I've sold out the
(06:31):
show.
So my whole shtick or the jokeI've been now saying is if I
ever sell out the show, you'renot going to see me post about
it, you'll just see me driving anew car because that's how much
money that show would.
That's funds for.
Look, I've been on a big trendin my life.
(06:54):
I don't know if you relate tothis at all or if you ever feel
like you should or want torelate to this, but I've been on
a very interesting journey ofmaking my life easier.
I had a breakthrough maybearound a month ago, where I
realized I actually make my lifeso much harder because, for
(07:14):
some weird reason, I wasprogrammed to think life should
be harder than it is.
So that meant to two ends ofthe spectrum.
That meant thinking thatpositive, good things should be
harder.
For example, comedy, comedy isgreat, gym, health, that should.
In my head there's a bunch ofstuff that I was actually
(07:35):
uncomfortable with them beingeasy, so I made them harder.
I made myself work harder forthem.
If it was came easy, I justoverdid it, overcomplicated it,
you know.
And on the other end of thespectrum, the things that were
hard already I thought should beharder.
I should be struggling withthem more than I am.
So I emotionally overcomplicated it all.
So, like a good example sincewe're on the topic of comedy,
(07:59):
maybe I've got this thing whereit's like oh, writing jokes
should be hard, should be thishardest thing in the whole world
.
Performing should be hard.
So I made it harder.
I stressed myself out, Ioverdid it.
I bite off more than I can chewThings, did it?
I bite off more than I can chewThings like that, you know,
just so I can feel when it'shard.
(08:19):
It still is hard compared tothe strength level that I'm at,
basically, but similarly Ialways thought that, like,
things that were naturallypainful should be harder than
they are like bombing have youever bombed before?
That's the easiest thing in theworld.
You know what you do.
You get off stage, you recover,done, recover, done.
It's not hard, but I made itmean something.
You know I'm gonna start thisrevolution.
(08:40):
It's gonna mean nothing, but Imade that mean something.
So one of the first things I didand I do want to like preach
preach to the skies for thisparticular person.
Uh, adrian from groundedstrength look it up, that was my
personal trainer, adrian fromgrounded strength.
For the last two to three yearshe's been my personal trainer
(09:05):
and it has been genuinely very,very, very, very good.
We lost so much weight, gainedso much muscle.
Uh, I'm now presenting to theworld in the way that I would
want to present to the world,but when I realized I'm making
my life so much harder, I neededto quit working with him.
(09:25):
One of the reasons why was money.
That's the main reason.
To be honest, the festival hastaken it out of me, since I bit
off a lot more than I can chewand it's like if I was to what's
the phrase?
It's like I want that money.
If I had that money, my lifewould be so much easier.
(09:47):
But also I need to integrateand digest everything I've
learned from my fitness Jesus.
To integrate and digesteverything I've learned from my
fitness Jesus.
So taking time to actuallythink about my own workouts,
taking time to digest theinformation, to create an
identity, an internalizedversion of myself, will actually
support my health career somuch more.
(10:08):
Taking time to be like what doI want, how do I know?
I've got all this knowledge butI've externalized it so much,
which is a thing that I do know.
On this whole topic of makingthings hard, I when I was
fucking what was it like?
29, 28 I had a big breakthroughwhere I realized I was.
So I identified as someone withenergy problems that I used to
go to the gym and work myselfout to to be tired, because I
(10:33):
didn't know how to have energy.
Like I thought I had energyproblems turns out, I just
thought I had energy problems,so I was uncomfortable with
having a lot of energy, so Ijust worked myself to a fucking
bone.
So it's this whole interestingthing.
So the ego death that I'mcurrently going through is this
idea that everyone's going tolove me, and it seems, when I
(11:00):
say this, it seems naive that Isay this out loud but art, art.
I've been thinking a lot aboutthis during the festival.
Art affirms the artist, it's,it heals the artist.
It also affirms identity in theartist, and so I've been
thinking a lot about where I'mat, as I'm performing, through
(11:23):
the festival, through the show,through this, hour after hour
after hour after hour.
What exactly is trying to bedigested, this identity part of
myself, what is that trying tobe digested, this identity part
of myself?
What is that trying to manifestitself?
And I haven't quite figured itout yet, but I was.
It's really just a fascinatingthing when you look at art from
(11:46):
that perspective.
Not only what are they tryingto say, but who are they trying
to become.
I think it's a reallyinteresting and beautiful way of
looking at art, looking at theartist, looking at where we're
at in life and where that personis at.
Art is artifacts, and it's anartifact of a becoming and it's
an artifact of a healing.
And it's an artifact of abecoming and it's an artifact of
(12:08):
a healing, it's an artifact ofletting go.
So this journey is reallyinteresting, you know.
Um, the other thing I've beennoticing is a lot of people give
me advice.
A lot of people give me adviceand you know, like you watched
last episode with Ash Filzamineand he was saying a lot of stuff
like you're not focusing on thejokes.
(12:29):
I'm like, dude, I'm focusing onthe jokes.
I don't understand.
And this is why I think allfeedback is good feedback,
because it's sort of like whatyou get to finally see how
someone else is interpreting theinformation.
And is that exactly what youwanted it to be?
I don't know.
I don't know if that's exactlywhat you know.
(12:50):
Are you okay with it?
I used to have this when I wasa relationship coach.
Did people fully understandwhat I was saying?
And I got to what I callemotional jujitsu.
It's this, this transmution ofpeople's the energy and the
understanding, and you can onlyreally transmute something when
you understand where it's at,and sometimes you can be like,
hey, they didn't understand it.
(13:13):
But you can be like, hey, Iactually didn't want them to
understand it.
I've got many jokes in the showthat actually rely on the
audience being like what thehell did he say?
And then I then use that asthat's the setup to another
punchline, because I'm a geniusbaby, yeah, so this whole thing
(13:35):
has made me realize that I don'tknow about you.
A lot of people on differentspectrums talk about rejection,
sensitivity.
Well, I do think I'm definitelyneuronal or neuro whatever it
is neuromild, not neuro spicy.
I definitely am primed to bemore sensitive to rejection.
The constant healing andmeditation I'm going through is
(13:55):
dealing with this perspective ofuh, will they love me, this
disease to please?
And I've realized that withsome of that, what's happened is
is, as I've healed my blockstowards being loved, as I've
dealt with that, as I'veprocessed that, as I've
(14:15):
meditated on that, I've actuallybeen more comfortable with
dealing with rejection, becausemy cup is full.
You know, you can't take awayfrom my cup, it so full.
And then finally, the reviewcame and it just emptied it out
and it was this oh, I am.
It's not fully a thing of I'mstruggling with feeling loved.
(14:38):
It's also I'm just afraid ofbeing rejected, because if I'm
rejected I won't know myself.
I won't know myself.
I'm not someone who allowedmyself to fully feel and digest
and process rejection.
So now I'm on this, thisjourney, this fun, powerful
journey of just get rejected.
(14:59):
The whole thing is rejectionand you know, what's amazing
about this story is that youmight be listening to this and
being like dude, dude, it's justone review.
Who fucking cares?
And it is just one review.
Who fucking cares If I let onereview hurt me?
I was never meant for this game,but then I did a spot at Dirty
(15:19):
Secrets.
Afterwards I had, you know justa spot.
I managed to get it in Duringmy show.
I'm not running it.
Artem is he?
You know just a spot.
I managed to get it in duringthe my show.
I'm not running it.
Adam is he's running the show?
Uh and ego, it's been fantastic.
But I did a spot and then aspeople left, everyone was like
that was great, that was great.
That was great, that was great.
Just, just a lot of that wasgreat.
(15:40):
And I'm like who's?
Data points, data points, datapoints, comedy.
Everything to me is just datapoints.
It's just feedback.
You get the feedback.
People like don't loseconfidence.
I'm like I haven't lostconfidence.
I might be in pain, but Ihaven't lost confidence.
Some people are like yeah,don't lose confidence.
(16:00):
I'm like it's just data, datain data out.
To me, creativity can beliterally summed up as that Data
in data out, which is why oneof the reasons why I feel
comfortable, at least for thetime being stopping personal
training.
I've got so much data in but Ineed my brain to digest it so I
can fully have some data out.
(16:21):
So I made a speaking of data, Imade a database and if you ever
see me in person, I'll show thisto you.
I'm not going to put it now.
I don't want to edit this.
Maybe I will for the videoversion.
I'll just chuck up a couplethings.
I'm going to wave my handaround so I can see it, but I
made a database of my workoutsand then I made some emojis with
(16:42):
my face using AI for each oneso I can symbolize, be like to
hey, this is the workout, thisis me doing that workout and
it's really fun.
Um, and it's the whole thing.
So this has been this podcast,this has been shamradaran starts
a revolution.
I did sort of want to talkabout like some fun stuff.
(17:03):
That was like oh why, why is itso much easier to pirate a show
than it is to watch it on thestreaming platform?
Like, literally the other day,my partner and I, even though we
pay for a platform or no, westopped paying for a platform
but there was one episode left,so we ended up just going on.
Like what is it?
One, two, three movies orsomething like that.
And what was funny about thatwas when we went on the pirating
(17:27):
website, it was actually easierto watch it on the pirating
website than it was to watch iton the original platform.
Uh, because now they're filledwith ads and I just sort of
wanted to riff on that a bit.
But look, I'm exhausted, I'mdilapidated.
I gotta save my energy for thefestival and I've gotta save my
energy for the revolution rightnow've got to save my energy for
the revolution Right now.
(17:49):
We've got one revolutionary.
That's Ashfield Zameen.
He has joined the thing he wasin the last episode.
Listen to that.
He gives me a lot of feedbackand then finally, at the end of
the episode, he goes we all diesomeday and I'm like, yeah, now
you get it.
What the hell?
Like that's what I was talkingabout the arbitrary nature of
(18:09):
existence.
So, look, this has been fun.
I not, I'm worried, but I dothink people think I'm not
enjoying the journey and I amhaving the most fun I've ever
had.
But what's happening is is, asyou perform so much comedy and
(18:30):
as you write so much, your lifeis so fun that you're probably
not expressing it all the time,because you need the hard stuff.
You know what I mean.
You need the like.
I'm taking so much crack thatin order for you to think I'm
even high anymore, I need thehard crack.
I don't know, there's ametaphor for you.
(18:51):
Anyway, this was Sharnam DarianStarts a revolution.
The podcast that we start arevolution about nothing where
me comedian, sharnam Darian getsso good at comedy the rags to
riches story.
We're in the rags phase Atleast that's where my emotional
spectrum.
I'll come back next week and belike, yeah, I crushed it, I'm
the best.
But well, we start a revolutionby accident and you know, if
(19:15):
you joined in the journey now,you're gonna, you're really in
for the whole, the whole.
You're in for the long haul iswhat I'm trying to say.
So I appreciate you listening tothis, I appreciate you watching
it and I appreciate you.
And if you, uh, if you areinterested in coming to the show
, message me, dm me, whatever, Ican give you a discount code or
(19:36):
whatever.
Uh, it is uh from Brunswick,with love.
It's meant to be this zoom in,you're gonna pluck, you're gonna
pluck a random person from theworld and's going to tell you
his story.
And that's me.
Um and uh, that's the comedyfestival show.
And um, dude, I'm excited fornext year.
I'm so excited for next yearwith this new routine of just
(19:59):
writing for an hour a day.
I am unblocking, I am healing,I am growing, I am getting
better, faster than ever before,which is probably one of the
reasons why the negative reviewshocked me, because I'm better
than I've ever been.
That's it.
Thanks for watching.
(20:19):
Thanks for listening.
Comment I joined the revolution, or message me who cares.
Join the revolution Bye.
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