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July 18, 2025 14 mins

WOW.

What a breakthrough.

I am feeling like I am just holding on for dear life as my subconscious mind unravels.

I'm also testing the Zoom h6 audio recorder.

What do you think of the audio?


Chapters:

00:00 - Introducing Sharam's Nameless Podcast
01:47 - Testing the Zoom H6 Setup
03:04 - Depression and the Life Coach Journey
06:36 - The Core Breakthrough About Love
09:22 - Unraveling My Mind's Failure Loop
12:35 - Future Direction and Closing Thoughts

Here is some SEO text:

• Journey through depression and life coaching led to major self-discovery
• Working at Melbourne wholesale market moving carrot boxes provided thinking time
• Core realization: struggling to feel love doesn't mean failing at love
• Every positive feeling came bundled with an unconscious sense of failure
• Breaking this pattern is allowing creativity and networking to flow naturally
• Testing new podcast formats and equipment (Zoom H6) for future content
• Planning wider content beyond just podcasts - high-production YouTube videos
• The podcast name remains undecided but that's okay, not a failure


FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SEND ME A FAN MAIL

Send me Fan Mail! It could be anything, we are desperate at this point.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, welcome to whatever podcast name we've
decided this week.
Currently it is Sharam's InsanePodcast, although it might
change in the future.
It has been a hard time namingthis podcast and I honestly
don't know what to call it.
You know, if you've been onthis journey, I think it's
currently called Sharam's InsanePodcast the unbearable weight

(00:21):
of massive Sharam.
Welcome to Sharam's InsanePodcast or, if you are listening
in the future, whatever thispodcast is called.
At the time, I have not figuredout the name yet, nor properly
the premise.
Is it a diary?
Is it a journey?
Is it interviews?
The answer is yes, it is all ofthe above.
I think we are on the cusp ofsomething really fantastic here

(00:42):
and I just wanted to sort of dotwo things with this podcast.
First of all, I'm testing outthe zoom h6.
This was lovingly uh borrowedfrom a local comedian, james g
warren.
Uh, shout out to james where,uh, and I'm just trying out this
sort of run and gun stylepodcast.
So if you're wondering, ifyou're watching the video
version of this, like, where amI?

(01:04):
I found a chair.
I found a wall.
I have a new tripod that can gosuper tall.
We're trying out thismicrophone.
So what do you think?
Do you think it's good?
Do you think it's sexy?
Because, realistically, when Iblow up baby, it's going to be.
I'm going to need this, I'mgoing to need this setup so I
can literally run and gunpodcasts.

(01:26):
So this episode is about amassive breakthrough I've had in
my own life and I do want totalk about this because I do
feel like I'm holding on.
That's why this episode iscalled the Unbearable Weight of
Massive Sharam, and it's also atest of the microphone to see
how well it works outside thingslike that.

(01:47):
So to begin this story, to begin, let's go back into the past,
where I first started comedy.
Picture this the scene.
It was the Melbourne wholesalemarket.
I had just answered thequestion I just cured my
depression.
That's actually a step.
Before that, I had just curedmy depression, I'd run out of

(02:09):
money, I was living with myfamily and I spent almost the
entire year meditating.
I'd been a life andrelationship coach and
discovered that the way I washelping other people was by
digesting their emotions, byhelping them process with
certain meditation practices.
So I had gotten to the pointwhere I realized I have to be my

(02:30):
primary client.
I need to be the person whichis what every life coach does
when they can't find enoughclients.
They're like it's me, I'm theclient, hopefully.
Look, which is what every lifecoach does when they can't find
enough clients.
They're like it's me, I'm theclient, hopefully.
Look, this is a test for thismicrophone.
So there's currently a trainthat's going by.
I don't know if it's good orbad or whatever.
We'll listen to it later.
Hopefully it isn't toodisturbing for you.

(02:50):
But, flashback, I think it waspre-COVID and I'd been with my
family and I just realized thecore wounds that had been
creating, two core wounds theone, the thing that had been
creating this depressive episodethat has been, dare I say, my
life up until that point, andthe second thing, which had been

(03:11):
a little riddle.
So and it's a riddle that allof us know, you know, let me ask
you this riddle what do youwant to be when you grow up?
Oh, fucking, such a hardquestion, such a hard question
to answer.
Can you answer it?
People who can answer it, Iwould say, are lying to
themselves.
But the problem with thatriddle is up until, dare I say,

(03:34):
what was it?
When I was 20-something, I hadthought that that meant one
thing.
So my life coaching businesshad shattered.
I still had clients or whatever, and I would still wait and
look after them and stuff likethat.
I would just wait for the trainto go by, because I don't know
if he can hear it or if he can't.
Ooh, interim music Boop,boop-doop-boop, boop-boop,

(04:04):
boop-doop-boop in interim music.
Yeah, so, okay.
So when people ask you thequestion, what do you want to be
when you grow up, I actuallythought that just meant one
thing.
So I had.
So when I realized that mycoaching career basically
shattered into all of thecomposite parts, like the
marketing, got a job in socialmedia marketing, as well as
clients and stuff like that,opening up into comedy, I'd
realized.
So I got a job at the Melbournewholesale market moving boxes

(04:26):
of carrots with my dad for eightto 10 hours a night, several
nights a week, and it was duringthat time where I had a lot of
time to think and digest andprocess, especially as COVID hit
hit, I realized I need to startstand up.
Now.
What happened when I made thatchoice was a fucking core wound
started to rear its ugly head, anew one, and one that I hadn't

(04:49):
resolved yet, one that throughall my history as a comedian, as
someone who'd been working,just even even the pre-thought.
The pre-thought brought thisfear up and it has been, dare I
say, a rock in my shoe of therunner, of the splinter, of a
runner, for my entire life, thisentire time, and it's been

(05:09):
crazy.
And so maybe I had thebreakthrough, maybe two weeks
ago, and it was something verysimple that I didn't realize had
been permeating through mywhole life, which is why I'm
like it's the unbearable weightof Masasharam.
I feel like, having thisbreakthrough, I am catching up

(05:29):
to where I should have been,dare I say, the entire time.
But also, having thisbreakthrough, I realize that the
road ahead of me, like I'm justtrying to hold on to whatever
I'm about to create, that's whatit feels like.
It feels like the future isincredibly bright and I'm just
trying to hold on to what it isor what it could be.

(05:50):
So let me ask you this,gangster, let me ask you this
what do you think thebreakthrough is All right?
Lock it in in the comments.
And also, while you're at it,if you're listening to the
Spotify version or the me, askyou this what do you think the
breakthrough is all right?
Lock it in in the comments, uh,and also, while you're at it,
um, if you're on, if you'relistening to the spotify version
or the instant, whatever, the,the audio only version, that's
on all the other platforms um,uh, there is a fan mail button
somewhere in the description soyou can press that and it'll.

(06:13):
You'll be able to send me amessage and I'll be able to read
it and reply through thepodcast.
Hello, so he'd come to.
The breakthrough was was that,before every gig, I was

(06:34):
struggling.
After every gig, I wasstruggling With human connection
, I was struggling Withnetworking.
I was struggling.
After every gig, I wasstruggling With human connection
, I was struggling Withnetworking.
I was struggling With all thethings, the whole experience.
I was struggling, and Irealized the entire time that
the thing I was struggling withWell, I'm going to wait for the

(06:58):
train to pass by, because Idon't know if you can hear the
train or not.
I don't know, I don't think youcan the thing I was struggling
with the entire time was love.
I found love hard to feel and,weirdly enough, that is the

(07:23):
breakthrough that I strugglewith feeling love and therefore,
as a result, I think I'mfailing.
Now, what does this mean?
This means that any love that Ifelt, whether it was
performative, whether it was aview on Instagram or a post, or

(07:43):
even people who follow thispodcast, hey, I would struggle
to feel, and therefore mydefault nervous system response
was when I felt it, I was, I wasa failure.
I was oh, because I struggledto feel it, that everyone else
can feel it easier than me,which was my projection.
I was a failure, and so this wassomething that, like, it's an

(08:07):
interesting breakthrough,because it's one of those ones
where I realized, oh, I justfind it hard to feel love,
that's it.
I just find it hard to feel.
Now, what does that mean?
Does that mean that I'm notfeeling it?
No, I just find it hard to feel, and maybe it's a human thing,
maybe that's just how it goes.
You know what I mean.
Like, maybe that's just theexperience of human condition,

(08:30):
maybe that's just mespecifically, but whatever it
was, I've recognized that thereare some things I just struggle
to feel, and if I struggle tofeel it, that doesn't mean I'm
failing.
Now, what happens after?
That is a beautiful part of thepsychological process that I

(08:50):
love.
That is when you learnsomething.
Does it cross-permeate intoother areas?
Well, yes, it does?
It's a rhetorical question.
Does it cross-permeate intoother parts of your life?
Hell, yeah.
So my mind has started tounravel, to unravel, unravel

(09:17):
massively, because what are allthe other things that I struggle
to feel and that I find hard tofeel when I feel like I'm
struggling?
There is a lot.
First of all, this the podcast.
What is the name of the podcast?
Oh, I'm struggling with that,but am I failing?
No, so I'm watching my nervoussystem re-knit.
I'm watching it re-knit as it'scoming together, as it's like,

(09:39):
dude, you just have.
So basically, what I've done isI've realized that every time I
feel something positive thatcould be leaning me, that could
help me feel love or feel morelove, I've also lumped onto that
a sensation of I've failed.
So now my nervous system isgetting rid of the I've failed

(09:59):
and just collecting the success,no matter how small, no matter
how much I've struggled with it.
So coming up with the name ofthe podcast is a good example of
that.
I haven't fully unraveled ityet, but I'm starting to see my
mind unravel it with jokes.
It's like, yeah, coming up withjokes is fucking hard.
That's just the flavor of it.
But I didn't realize.

(10:20):
The entire time I've beentelling myself I failed.
Every time I found it hard atthe same time as just finding it
hard.
Connecting with people,networking all of this stuff.
I am watching.
I'm in a beautiful state rightnow.
I am watching my mind unravelreal time massive amounts of, I

(10:41):
would say, projected failure,and just to see what is going to
happen next, I think is goingto be real exciting.
So, first of all, one of thebreakthroughs I realized was,
for example, with YouTube Likewhat am I doing?
With my channel?
I was always like am I doingpodcasts, am I doing sketches?
Am I doing this or that?
What am I doing?
The answer is fuckingeverything.

(11:02):
I want the podcast to be a thirdor a quarter or a fifth of what
is the actual stuff that I'mdoing.
I want high-budget productionstuff, stuff that I'm doing.
I want high budget productionstuff.
I want pieces of content thatconnect with people, that are
deeper.
Like, when I'm talking content,I'm talking wides, right, wide
content, not shorts or reels orTikToks.

(11:24):
That stuff is like willy-nilly.
I don't come from that era.
I'm not going to be like oh man, I really want to make a
thousand TikToks.
You know, I'm going to comefrom the era of the people that
grew up with YouTube, which arethe wide stuff which is movie
style stuff.
I want dumb ass high productionstuff on dumb jokes, as well as
these podcasts, as well asstandup clips as specials online

(11:45):
, all that kind of stuff.
Uh, cause, here's a fun factthese podcasts, even with like
fucking 20 views, make me 13cents.
Now, imagine if that was 21views, imagine if that was 2,000
views.
That shit is crazy.
Now there's a beep going off inthe distance.
I hope that you can't hear it,and if you can hear it, I hope I
can cut it out, because that'sreally annoying and it really

(12:07):
like fucks with my mind.
So I've started to see all ofthis stuff, and this podcast
episode was called theunbearable weight of massive
sharam, mostly because I am inan interesting phase where I'm
just trying to hold on.
There has been a psychologicaldamn wall that I have put, I

(12:28):
have put behind my mind that hasstopped me from actually fully
seeing who and what I am, and Iam starting to open up, even
networking, connecting withother comedians.
I find it hard because I'vebeen telling myself if I find it
hard, I fail, and now I'mwatching myself as a child.
Just stand there, like, juststand there, connect with people
that I already was good withconnecting and just struggle.

(12:51):
But here's the thing like letmyself exist in the space
without the struggle, withoutthe constant telling myself I'm
failing, as I'm there juststanding there connecting with
people.
So if you're here at this stagein the journey, you are coming
in at the Sharm Namdarianpodcast journey, whatever we're
calling it.

(13:11):
I was thinking just SharmNamdarian's podcast, because
wouldn't that be funny if it wasjust like hey, man, I can't
believe you're on SharmNamdarian's podcast and like
what's it called?
It's just called SharmNamdarian's podcast, like that's
the name of the podcast.
But you are coming in at theground level and this podcast is
going to be the grassroots sortof interpretation of the entire

(13:33):
journey.
Like I'm excited for the futureas my subconscious has
unraveled, like I'm trying newjokes, I'm remembering them
better.
I'm like just because youstruggle at something doesn't
mean you've failed, and it'sinteresting because of the
psychological response that has.

(13:53):
Like it's there's a threshold.
And I've talked to other peopleabout this breakthrough and
they're like, yes, I feel thesame thing.
Sometimes love or success isjust hard to feel and there's
nothing more to it, and it'smostly because it's happening to
us and we're just notclimatized to it.
So I don't know if there's anyreally funny point behind this

(14:17):
podcast episode or any amazingpoint or anything, but I think
that's it and mostly it was atest of this audio system.
So what do you think?
Let me know.
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