September 22, 2025 • 34 mins
The episode delves into Tessa Wilson's personal and professional journey, illuminating her path from an aspiring athlete to a mental health advocate. As she shares her experiences of growing up in Saskatchewan and playing hockey in a predominantly male environment, listeners gain insight into the resilience and determination that shaped her career. Tessa articulates the pressures athletes face, particularly the rising incidence of mental health issues among younger players, exacerbated by societal expectations and the competitive nature of sports. Her commitment to fostering an open dialogue about mental health within the athletic community is a clarion call for change, emphasizing the importance of normalizing conversations around mental well-being and providing essential resources for athletes who may feel isolated in their struggles.
Bio
Tessa Wilson MACP - RCC
Building a trusting connection is essential when working in vulnerable spaces. She knows how important it is to first see if we’re a good fit. Sport can deeply shape who we are, and through her own experiences, she has come to understand its powerful impact on identity, meaning, and purpose.
Tessa grew up in a small Saskatchewan town, often playing on boys’ hockey teams due to limited opportunities for girls. Eventually, she joined a female AAA team and moved to Weyburn in high school to pursue elite hockey. That transition was challenging but rewarding—and in her final year, she was fortunate to win the National U18 Esso Cup.
Tessa went on to play for the University of Regina Cougars, where she faced new pressures: concussions, identity struggles, and uncertainty about my role on the team. After two years, Tessa transferred to SAIT in Calgary, playing for the Trojans before another concussion led her to step away from the game. Letting go of hockey was incredibly hard. For the first time, she had to navigate life without the title of “athlete.”
That journey, though difficult, helped shape my path. Tessa earned a degree in Sports and Recreation Studies and began working as a Recreation Therapist in Vernon, BC. Eventually, she pursued a Master’s in Counselling Psychology to support others more deeply.
Today, Tessa works with athletes navigating their own challenges and transitions. She believes in the value of professional support and how it can change the course of an athlete’s journey—for the better.
Links
https://unmaskedperformance.janeapp.com/#/staff_member/1/bio
Takeaways:
- Tessa Wilson's journey illustrates the significance of professional support in navigating athletic challenges and transitions.
- The podcast emphasizes the importance of addressing mental health issues within the sports community, particularly for young athletes.
- An essential takeaway is how parental involvement can impact an athlete's mental well-being during their journey in sports.
- Listeners learn about the detrimental effects of perfectionism and pressure on young athletes, which can lead to burnout.
- The discussion highlights the necessity for open conversations about mental health in sports, combating the stigma surrounding it.
- Tessa's experience showcases the vital role of self-awareness in fostering resilience and performance in athletes.
Companies mentioned in this episode:
- CV3 Hockey Development
- High Stick Hockey
- Play It Again Sports Newark
- Unmasked
This episode is proudly sponsored by
High Stick Hockey
Your go-to source for premium hockey apparel
Whether you're repping it on the ice or off, High Stick Hockey has the gear that delivers
style, comfort, and durability. From the locker room to the streets, this is hockey lifestyle...
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
This is Sharpening youg Edgewith Chuck and Eric.
Our guest today is Tessa Wilson.
She grew up in a smallSaskatchewan town, often playing
on boys hockey teams due tolimited opportunities for girls.
Today she worked with athletesnavigating their own challenges and
(00:24):
transitions.
She believes in the value ofprofessional support and how it can
change the course of theathlete's journey for the better.
And now our interview withTessa Wilson.
Welcome to episode one ofSharpening youg Edge, presented by
CV3 Hockey Development.
I'm Chuck Verdolino along withmy co host Eric Melanson.
(00:48):
And it's been a long timecoming and I'm extremely excited
to get this podcast off theground and I think Eric feels the
same way.
Yeah, it's something we'vetalked about for quite some time.
And Tessa, I'm glad you areour first guest.
I think it's gonna be great.
Yeah.
So we'd like to welcome fromthe Great White north, mental health
(01:09):
clinical counselor for fiveplus years, Tessa Wilson.
Tessa, welcome to the show.
Yeah, thanks for having me.
I'm super excited.
No problem.
So you grew up in Canada andit might be a myth down here in the
States, but, but it seems likewhen babies come out of the womb,
the doctor's ready to strapthe skates on them.
(01:30):
So obviously you wereintroduced to the game early.
So how were you introduced tothe game of hockey and how did you
fall in love with it?
Yeah, I am from a very smalltown in Saskatchewan, like probably
1200 people.
So my brother was.
I'm like two years youngerthan my brother and he was put into
(01:50):
hockey.
And I think I was just such awild child.
My mom was like, I'm notchasing you around the rink here,
also going in hockey.
So I started playing hockeywhen I was naturally from Saskatchewan,
three years old and yeah, Iguess that the rest of that is history.
And then throughout that, itwas just what I knew, what I did,
(02:11):
who I was kind of thing.
And my dad played, my brotherplayed, and then my little cousins
played and the whole communityreally played.
So that's kind of what led meto playing it.
And just like a naturalpassion, I guess, for it because
everyone was awesome.
I get.
So we've got your bio, but.
(02:33):
And I'm sure you're well awarethat between the US and Canada, there
are a billion different levelsof, of hockey.
You know, right now there'slike five year olds trying to play
full ice triple A hockey herein the States.
And you know, Minnesota doesthings differently, Massachusetts
does things differently, butyou know, Canada can you talk to
us a little bit about whatkind of level you played at growing
(02:56):
up when you made thetransition from, you know, just a
rec.
You know, a local Saskatchewanleague, and then trying to play,
you know, at the higher levelsand on into college?
Yeah.
So I grew up playing boyshockey because there is no female
hockey available.
So I think I played boysuntil, like, Bantam.
(03:16):
And then we composed a femaleteam, which it would all be house
hockey here, we would call it.
And this female team wascomposed of, like, 10 different towns,
basically just pulling girlsfrom wherever we could.
And I'm really grateful forthat because that female league we
played all acrossSaskatchewan, and that allowed for
(03:37):
me to become recognized bywhat we call AAA hockey here.
And that was still in high school.
So I ended up moving toWeyburn to play aaa in grade 11,
and that was really cool.
In Saskatchewan, we have thenationals, I guess, for the AAA level
all across Canada.
(03:58):
And my grade 12 year reactionended up winning nationals, which
was, like, amazing.
And then from there, I endedup going and playing U sport in Regina,
Saskatchewan.
Stay close to home.
And then, so U Sport, I guess,would be like Canada's Div 1.
Yeah.
(04:19):
So there's universities acrossall of Canada, and that's what I
played.
And then I ended uptransitioning from there to go and
play in the AC AC League.
And that is college hockey.
So kind of like Div 3 in Canada.
Now, when you moved it inGrade 11, was that with your family
or did you just kind of go offand billet with another family?
(04:41):
Yeah, I billeted with a veryspecial lady who is still in my life
today.
So I'm really grateful for that.
And I lived with a couplegirls off the hockey team also.
So that was also a bigtransition because I only had an
older brother.
I can imagine.
And given that this.
Your background is in mentalhealth, and this is, you know, what
(05:02):
we're kind of focused on inthe episode today.
Did that impact your mentalhealth at all, looking back on it?
Or maybe.
Maybe you didn't realize it atthe time.
I remember my first year wasso hard living away from my parents.
I'm really close with myparents, so that was a huge challenge
for.
For me.
But luckily, the Billet familyI was with was, like, so great.
Obviously I said, I'm stillfriends with her today.
(05:25):
But, yeah, like, thetransition to how intense the schedule
was, even, like, you're on theice five days a week, you're doing
your workouts two to threetimes a week, then you're playing
every weekend and being ableto come home was so limited.
So that part I reallystruggled with.
And then it wasn't untilprobably like halfway throughout
the season it was like, hey,I'm getting into my routine.
(05:46):
And I also was a top playerboth years.
So it was just.
It wasn't.
That part of hockey wasn'thard for me, which was really nice.
It was living away from myparents that was harder.
Yeah, I can imagine.
So you mentioned your billetfamily being almost like a crutch
of support for you.
Before we get to that, can youshed some light on any specific adversity
(06:08):
you faced while playing?
We all know it's not a smoothtransition while playing.
We hit speed bumps along the way.
We all do.
And how did you try tonavigate that and navigate around
these challenges andultimately how did that lead you
to that mental health fieldthat you're in today?
Yeah, for sure.
So when I was transitioning toplay university, it was such a weird
(06:31):
thing.
Like the recruitment processwhen I was playing, it's so different
now.
But we never really had that support.
And I found it was almost likea taboo thing that you didn't talk
about with your teammates,like almost like a weird competition
thing.
So that was really hard for meand I just felt really uncomfortable
during the whole thing.
(06:51):
And then I ended up actuallycommitting to a team in Calgary,
like in the college league.
But I got offered a redshirtspot with the University of Regina.
And I just like had it in myhead that I was like, I'm going to
train so hard this summer andI'm going to go in and get a spot
on the team.
And that wasn't what.
What happened.
(07:12):
I ended up becoming red shirted.
And then about halfway throughthat season we had so many injuries.
I got pulled off redshirt andwas playing, which was great, but
I was like fourth line.
And for me that was a hugechallenge because I came from a team
where I was top line, eyes on,power plate, penalty kill.
(07:33):
So.
So that was a big adversityfor me and I didn't know really how
to communicate with my coach.
My mindset was pretty crappy,but I got through that year.
And then I was like, kink,second year has to be better.
So I stayed in Regina that season.
I really committed to workingout hockey.
(07:54):
I did like a ton of powerskating camps, stuff like that, and
I came in.
We went to Sweden that yearbefore our season started, which
was really cool.
We got to play a bunch ofteams there and I was on Like a good
line.
And I was like, oh, this is great.
This year's going to be different.
And then our season openercame around and I was being healthy
(08:16):
and that was really hard forme to understand.
I mean, I was like, I put inall this work, like off ice, I've
really improved.
On ice, I've really improved.
And whenever I went and talkedto my coach, all I could do was cry.
I couldn't even communicatewith her.
So that was such a challengefor me.
And then within that, it kindof snowballed.
(08:37):
I wasn't being a good teammate.
I felt really isolated and alone.
There wasn't very many of usbeing healthy.
So that was really hard for me.
And throughout that, I justnever learned to deal with it.
I just didn't have the toolsto know how to navigate that.
And I never knew that therewas external support that could have
(09:00):
supported me through that.
So that is what led me to whatI do now.
I really wanted to providesupport to athletes.
I know it's such a underservedpopulation for mental health support
and I just want athletes toknow that they're not alone.
And it can be really scary andisolating when you are because your
(09:24):
whole identity is formedaround being a hockey player.
So once I was done and burnt,I like burnt out from sport.
I had tons of concussions.
I just, yeah, I ended upquitting and walking away.
And that transition was sohard for me too.
So even that piece, I justwant athletes to know that, like,
they don't have to go throughall that alone and there's someone
(09:45):
there for them and there'stools that can help you manage the
stressors with being a highperformance athlete.
Yeah, that's great.
I think, you know, one of thewords that you used a little bit
ago was taboo.
And I think, you know, I'vegot a military background as well
as hockey and it's, it'seerily similar as how much, at least
we used to not speak aboutmental health.
(10:07):
Right.
Both military and hockey players.
Right.
It's a pretty tough community.
No one wants to kind of admitthat weakness and they want to battle
through everything.
And I'm glad to see that yourecognize that.
And yeah, kudos to you.
So, I mean, it's great.
I think that what you're doingnow is amazing.
(10:27):
And then, you know, as youtransition from player to getting
into this mental health field,what did that transition look like
in terms of getting someexperience, some reps?
Where did you jump into firstin the mental health field?
Did you go Right into athletics.
Talk to us a little bit about that.
Yeah, I worked a lot withYouth at Risk, actually, so it had
(10:50):
really nothing to do withathletics at first.
I just was like, I reallywanted to get mental health experience
and I honestly love workingwith kids.
So that's where I started.
And I kind of started doingthat even during my undergrad, I
guess, just working at likenon for profits with kids who weren't
able to afford or play sports.
(11:10):
So we provided equipment andleagues for them to play in.
So that's kind of where it all started.
And I really recognized thatthat was the pathway I wanted to
go through that.
And then I ended up moving toBC and I worked in housing for youth
with multiple diagnoses andthat was also really great experience.
(11:33):
And then I worked in a schoolwith Youth at Risk and we would go
hiking with them, we'd gomountain biking, we'd go skiing,
we'd go kayaking.
We do all these fun activitieswith the kids, which also provided
me with a ton of great experience.
But I just knew that the routeI wanted to go was working with athletes
as I knew that, like I said,it's an underserved population.
(11:57):
So I ended up just going for it.
Honestly, I was like, I'm justgoing to go for it.
And I guess here I am today.
I mean, I think that's great.
A lot of parallels in the, youknow, the youth at risk population
because again, you know, Igrew up in a tough town where we
didn't talk about that stuff.
There were a lot of at riskyouth and nobody talked about mental
(12:19):
health.
Do you feel like thattransition was easy having that background,
working with the youth at riskand youth in general to be able to
move into a sport like hockey?
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
I found like that equipped mewith a lot of skills and knowledge
on mental health for me tomove forward in working in the field.
(12:40):
I guess I chose to work in andI think too like, my own experience
as an athlete allows for me torelate to who I my athletes I work
with.
Like, I know I can be souncomfortable talking to someone
about mental health and ourdeepest, darkest secrets.
It's really awkward and it's hard.
(13:02):
And I really find because Ihave that experience, it's so much
easier to make my clients feelmore comfortable.
And I mean, you just connectwhen you can relate.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
I think that's great.
Yeah.
And credit to you for givingback, just going through all of that.
And I bet it helps too when,when you sit down with a client too,
(13:24):
to have the firsthandexperience to.
To know what they're goingthrough and help them in that way
as well.
So you started your own business.
You started Unmasked Performance.
There's always a story behinda name.
So how'd you come up with thename Unmasked Performance?
Yeah, I have this really great.
As a counselor, it's importantfor you to have a clinical supervisor
(13:45):
who you're able to bounceideas off of with clients if you're
stuck or whatnot.
And I have this really greatsupervisor who's more like a mentor
and a friend, actually.
And he really supported me ingrowing my business and believing
in myself.
And I find found throughout myexperience in university playing
hockey, my confidence really plummeted.
(14:06):
And it was just so great towork with this guy because he really
supports me and believes in me.
And it allowed for myself tobuild confidence within myself of
starting my business because,I mean, there's so much that comes,
feelings that come up withstarting your own business after
you've been throughexperiences in your life.
(14:26):
I guess I knew as an athlete Iwould almost hide behind my mask.
We have this perceived ideasthat we have to be mentally tough
and we're able to navigate andget through any challenges.
So when we unmask ourselves, Ithink it's really important for us
to be able to dive into ourvulnerabilities and be able to be
(14:48):
not only an athlete, but, butwho are we outside of being an athlete?
And I think that's kind ofwhere I really wanted the direction
of my business to go.
And the name obviously reallyfit with that.
And now let's take a quickbreak to hear from our partners.
(15:09):
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EDGE15.
You know, I think it's, maybeit's, it's just me.
Maybe it's easier for kids todevelop those masks that you spoke
about at a younger age ifthey're not given the right tools,
right?
So we have these, these youththat are trying to hide behind, whether
(17:18):
it be their parents or youknow, some of the pro players they
look up to.
And that just continues on theolder they get if something's not
done about it.
But with your business andwe're, you know, your background
is, is there a specific agegroup that you try to target or you.
Doesn't matter to you?
Do you like the, you know,because personally speaking, both
my kids are nine and a halfand 11.
(17:40):
Both have a mental performance coach.
Right, That's.
But it's also a way to getthem just to talk to somebody.
Right.
So it's like therapy, youknow, to use that taboo word, therapy,
but wrapped in sports,something they love, so they get
to speak to somebody abouttheir feelings.
And I, I just kind ofwondered, you know, is there, what
is the ideal age in your opinion?
(18:00):
I mean right now I'm workingwith a couple gals who are 11 years
old who are going into, ormaybe a little older, 12 or 11 going
into double A tryouts this weekend.
And it's like, because I'm sofar removed from it when I am talking
to a client who's that age,I'm like, holy, like you're already
experiencing the stress thatcomes with sport.
(18:23):
And it's like crazy to me,like with lots of my clients, I'm
really trying to normalizemistakes and things that, focusing
on things that are in yourcontrol, not about, of your control.
And it's so interesting to seehow early on it's starting now the
pressures that young athletes face.
But so anyways, I work withathletes aged, I'd say like 11 to
(18:46):
25 ish.
Do you notice trends likebetween Them do or do you like?
Is there a huge difference?
Is it easier?
Is it better for you, betterfor the athlete to get them at an
earlier age?
Well, definitely minimizes thechances of burnout because I have,
I'm working with some athletesthat are burnt out, you know, and
(19:06):
it's really hard for me to seebecause that's what I went through.
And I'm sad that I wasn't ableto be a support for them early on
where they didn't have toexperience that.
So I find that part.
But they're already, they havesuch similar feelings and beliefs
about sport.
It's very interesting actually.
Like the 11 year old hasperfectionism is a big thing and
(19:31):
the 22 year old exact same thing.
So it's very much correlatedand it's crazy to see how it's occurring
already in such young athletes.
Where do you think that comes from?
Do you think it's like their upbringing?
Do you think it's a lot ofthe, the, you know, it's a lot on
the coaches, the pressurethey're putting on them.
Is it the parents?
(19:51):
Is it, is it just thiscombination of all of them?
Yeah, I think it honestly is acombination of them.
And like not every parent'sthe same, not every coach is the
same.
So it's hard to say it's morecoaches, it's more parents, but in
some instances, maybe it ismore coaches than parents or maybe
it is in other instances moreto the parents than the coaches.
And I also think there's likethe PWHL is up there now and the
(20:15):
boys have the NHL.
Like they idolize these peopleand they want to be just like them.
Well, how do you become that person?
Well, we've created thisculture in hockey where it's like
end all, be all.
You have to just, you have tofocus on it and go for it from such
a young age.
Yeah, it's is crazy.
You mentioned the pressure.
(20:35):
It's crazy to think over theyears how, how much pressure these
young kids face from evenmites and squirts and, and how hockey
just in general, especially inthe states, has become so professionalized
and, and, and just again theburnout that we see kids just leaving
(20:56):
the game because it's more ofa job to them than, than an actual
sport that's supposed to be fun.
They make mistakes.
Any human being NHL ers make mistakes.
So you talk about sports anxiety.
First off, what is yourdefinition of sports anxiety?
And what advice would you giveto a young player that just feels
(21:17):
so pressured every time theyget out on the ice and it's not enjoyable
for them anymore.
At a young age, starting, likeI said, 8 to 10 years old, it's.
Crazy for athletes when you'regoing through sport and you're experiencing
anxiety and pressure and theburnout, how to manage that?
I think something, of courseI'm going to say, but is a big part
(21:37):
is finding that externalperson to talk to.
If you know that you stillwant to be a part of sport but aren't
sure how to navigate it.
I truly believe that findingthat external person, whether it
be me, whether it be whomeverto talk to, has an outlet is so important.
And within that too, lots oftimes we're focusing on our mistakes.
(21:57):
We're fearful of making amistake, remembering what's out of
my control, what's in my control.
So most times if you're havingthat experience of anxiety, you're
focusing on things that areout of your control.
Like, oh, my coach is tellingme that I gotta keep doing this,
I gotta be faster, blah, blah.
So you're hyper focusing onthat, which in the end hinders your
(22:19):
performance as you're makingthose mistakes more often.
Right.
So focusing on what is in your control.
Okay, coach is giving me this feedback.
What can I do from that feedback?
That's in my control.
And when you focus on thingsthat aren't out of your control,
you'd be surprised how muchyour anxiety decreases.
That's awesome.
You know, I coach Chuck,coaches, I'm obviously, I've got
(22:42):
a huge passion for mentalhealth because I know the struggles
that, you know, I personallyhad with it.
And then looking back, thestruggles that I absolutely had during
the game.
But, you know, that was 30years ago and we certainly talk about
that stuff.
Nor did we have the resources.
Right.
You know, as a coach, I try tobe that outlet, to try to bring some,
some levity even when thingsare going wrong, or I try to pull
(23:03):
the players in and let themknow, hey, just control what you
can control.
But to all the other coachesout there, the ones that are listening,
you know, what are some thingsthat they can do to not only recognize
that, hey, maybe I'm thesource of some of this pressure,
but also to help those kidsdeal with it kind of in the moment.
And then, you know, long term, I.
Think it's like, lots of timesas athletes, we don't want to disappoint
(23:26):
or be like a failure to our coach.
We look up to our coach.
We idolize our coach.
Right.
We want to be, we want to Beawesome for them.
So when you're constantlygiving your athlete feedback, and
I want to say like, quoteunquote, like negative feedback,
then we need to sandwich thatwith something that's positive.
Okay, this is what I need youto do this shift.
(23:47):
And you know what?
I noticed you back checkedthere and it was awesome and you
caught your man, whatever itmay be.
And I'm blanking again.
So I think too, if you noticeafter you give your player feedback,
you're like, oh, their bodylanguage is showing me that they
didn't really respond well tothat feedback.
That's a great opportunity for you.
(24:07):
Maybe in between periods orafter the game, check in with them,
be like, hey, I noticed afterI said this to you, you kind of look
sluggish and sad.
Can we talk about that?
When you're able to do thatwith your players, you're providing
them a safe space where theyare able to feel like they can come
to you and talk to you abouthow they were feeling in that moment.
And that can be an opportunityfor you to also be like, as a coach,
(24:31):
I didn't mean that you're nota great hockey player.
You wouldn't be on this teamif you weren't.
I just meant I'm just a coach.
And I also need to providefeedback because that's how we grow
is through feedback.
Right.
And that's how we grow isthrough making mistakes.
I always say to my athletes,hockey, because most of my athletes
are hockey players.
(24:53):
How boring would hockey be ifwe were all perfect?
That's a great.
I'm steal that line.
That's great.
I think it would be.
I would never watch it.
I never turn it on the tv.
I never.
Yeah, I mean, it's verysimilar to a phrase that I've heard
used before where, you know,hockey is a very simple game, but
it is very hard to play playsimple hockey.
(25:14):
So we touched upon theplayers, we touched upon the coaches,
and now it's time to talkabout the parents.
Unfortunately, 99% of therinks you go in in the States and
even.
Even in Canada, I've seen it.
You see the parents yellingfrom the stands, and then if the
kid doesn't have a great game,the dreaded car ride home.
(25:34):
What kind of advice would yougive to parents when dealing with.
With the mental side of thegame for their own children?
I mean, lots of times you seeparents trying to be the coach, Right?
And when parents are thecoach, it pushes your kid further
away.
So I would not advise parentsto coach your child if the child
(25:58):
does not ask for their feedback.
When you're able to connectwith your kid outside of sport, also,
that is how you develop your relationship.
It's about connecting.
When you're constantly givingyour kid feedback with their hockey,
it's gonna make them push youfurther away.
And not only that, that canlead to burnout for your child.
(26:21):
So what I ask is for parentsto really just be there for your
child.
Ask them how they're doing.
Hey, how did you think thatgame went?
Yeah, I thought you did great.
And then you can move on.
And if your child wants toengage in further conversation, that's
great.
I heard recently that someonesaid in the car ride home, you know,
(26:42):
parents have their own opinions.
They have their opinionsnaturally, but just ask your kid
on the ride home, hey, Inoticed some things, you know, would
you like to talk about it?
And if they say no, leave italone and move to the next subject.
If they're welcoming advice,be constructive criticism, positive
reinforcement, things like that.
(27:04):
But if they say no, just shutit down and move on.
It's exactly what I was goingto say.
You're in my brain.
Check something that hashelped me.
I coach my kids when they wantme to.
I'm on the bench with one now,but I don't speak to them during
the game.
We don't even look at each other.
And we just know that onething that has helped me get past,
(27:24):
you know, reliving the dreadedcar rides home that I had when I
was a kid.
And that's, you know, no digat my dad, who is probably not listening
to this anyway, but it's beenthe, hey, you want to talk about
your game?
Like, do you want to?
Or you want to just talk aboutwhatever, you know?
And he.
Sometimes it'll be, yeah,let's talk about it.
What can I do better?
Or sometimes it'll be like, no.
(27:45):
But then they'll.
They'll circle back whenthey're ready.
And I think that letting themcome to you when they're ready, right
at.
The end of the day, what makesyou feel the most accomplished as
a mental health counselor?
What's the.
What's the ultimate goal atthe end of the day when your client
leaves or you leave a session,what makes you feel most accomplished?
(28:05):
I think what makes me feelmost accomplished is, like, when
I bring this awareness to themthat, like, it's okay to be.
Make mistakes, or it's okay tonot be perfect, or it's okay to not
be in control.
It's almost like you See it intheir eyes.
It's like that aha moment.
Like, oh, yeah, that actuallyis okay and it is normal.
(28:27):
And actually everyone makes mistakes.
I think that is like, been areally rewarding part.
And another rewarding part, Ithink for myself is providing a resource
for athletes to know that theyaren't alone in their journey and
that there is someone outthere that cares to listen to them.
And I really believe that weall have our own experience in our
(28:49):
journey and how we perceive that.
And I just want to give peoplethe opportunity to share their story
and their journey and processthat in a way that can better them
more so as a human being.
So back to you and unmaskedperformance a little bit now.
There's obviously states doesthings a little differently.
(29:11):
There are certain provincesyou're licensed in in Canada.
Are you, you know, with thismental, like the way it's wrapped
up here you do you go U.S. canada.
Are you only allowed to talkto athletes in certain parts of Canada?
Are you, you know, countrywide?
How does that work?
So I'm licensed out of BritishColumbia and I can provide counseling
(29:33):
to places that aren't regulated.
Basically, I think it's.
Is it easier to connectthrough the.
Hey, I'm providing, you know,I'm a mental performance coach, providing
some.
Some sports specific mentalhealth as opposed to, hey, I'm.
I'm a counselor providingactual counseling.
It's so interesting.
Like, it can be so scary forpeople to be like, I don't think
(29:55):
I want to go see a counselor.
Like, that sounds really scary.
And once again, it almost islike a taboo thing.
And I think something that Ijust really want to remind people
is like, I'm also a human being.
And like, I went through thewhole experience that you.
You're most likely going through.
Like, I can connect with youon some level with it, and I just
(30:16):
really care about you.
Like, that's the main thing.
I want to make sure that youfeel like you're not alone.
I just, yeah, I wish it wasn'tso taboo.
And I.
And that's my goal is toreally break those barriers so athletes
feel like they are able tosay, yeah, I'm seeing a counselor.
It's really helping me withnot only my mental health, but my
(30:37):
performance as an athlete.
Because arguably the two gohand in.
Hand how people can reach youand what services you provide.
Yeah, so honestly, primarilyall my services are offered online.
As, you know, athletes areobviously playing on numerous different
teams and they're all over the country.
(30:59):
So I am available over Zoom.
Which is really nice forathletes as they can just be in the
comfort of their own home andnot worry about going to an office
space that you're unfamiliarwith or whatnot.
And if athletes want to reachme, they can email me unmaskedperformancemail.com
or they can follow me.
(31:20):
I post tips and just about myown journey and experience for you
to get to know me more onInstagram @UnmaskedPerformance.
Obviously Chuck and I bothfollow your page.
I think I've seen some tipsthere that you know, I've shared,
I've used personally.
So I appreciate that we'regetting towards the end here.
So I hit you with another hard question.
(31:40):
So development, we talk humanperformance is a, you know, that
whole mental, physical.
What, what is your definitionof development?
I think for myself, especiallyas I'm coming from mental health
side is important to developas a whole.
So in hockey we tend to focusmore on the physical side of development
(32:03):
where we're really missing outon our mental and that can really
play into our performance as a whole.
Right.
So I think for myself workingwith athletes, a huge part of the
development is building self awareness.
We can't grow if we don't haveany self awareness.
(32:23):
And that's where I can reallysupport athletes in building that.
And it can be hard.
Your kids, they're kids.
I didn't have any self awareness.
Right.
I like I was going through thetrenches and I didn't think any of
it was me.
I didn't really take any accountability.
Right.
That's why I really wonderwhat the trajectory of my sport,
(32:44):
career could have been if Icould have had that support.
Yeah, absolutely.
I think there's a lot ofpeople in the, in the same boat.
It's, it's frustrating but atleast we're doing something about
it now.
And you are as well.
And I commend you.
I think it's awesome.
I think that you are not justchanging the game for the better.
Right.
You're also changing thesekids lives and you're having a huge
(33:07):
impact because someday hockeywill end.
Whether that's when they're,you know, they hang it up at 70 from
playing beer league or whenthey, they don't make a team and
they decide to call it quitsand focus on something else.
But you are truly changingtheir lives and I think that's extremely
commendable.
So continue to do good things.
Yeah.
I look forward to followingyour journey.
(33:29):
Thank you so much.
Yeah, thank you for joining us today.
It was very informative.
I learned a bunch of thingsI'm sure Eric did as well.
And our listeners.
So that's going to be it forour episode today.
Again, thank you so much forjoining us.
Tessa yeah, thank you so much.
If you enjoyed the episode,share with a friend, Coach, Parent,
(33:51):
anyone else player, Anyoneelse you think might be interested
and benefit from it?
Please leave a review on ApplePodcasts and Spotify.
Make sure you're following uson those platforms.
Instagram we'll be posting ourguests and topics, as well as our
partners.
We've got a pretty awesomelist of guests coming up, so and
but they've got some big shoesto fill.
(34:12):
Thanks to Tessa.
Yeah, thank you for listeningto episode one of Sharpening your
Edge.
We'll see you next time.
This is Sharpening youg Edgewith Chuck and Eric.
Our guest today is Tessa Wilson.
She grew up in a smallSaskatchewan town, often playing
on boys hockey teams due tolimited opportunities for girls.
Today she worked with athletesnavigating their own challenges and
(00:24):
transitions.
She believes in the value ofprofessional support and how it can
change the course of theathlete's journey for the better.
And now our interview withTessa Wilson.
Welcome to episode one ofSharpening youg Edge, presented by
CV3 Hockey Development.
I'm Chuck Verdolino along withmy co host Eric Melanson.
(00:48):
And it's been a long timecoming and I'm extremely excited
to get this podcast off theground and I think Eric feels the
same way.
Yeah, it's something we'vetalked about for quite some time.
And Tessa, I'm glad you areour first guest.
I think it's gonna be great.
Yeah.
So we'd like to welcome fromthe Great White north, mental health
(01:09):
clinical counselor for fiveplus years, Tessa Wilson.
Tessa, welcome to the show.
Yeah, thanks for having me.
I'm super excited.
No problem.
So you grew up in Canada andit might be a myth down here in the
States, but, but it seems likewhen babies come out of the womb,
the doctor's ready to strapthe skates on them.
(01:30):
So obviously you wereintroduced to the game early.
So how were you introduced tothe game of hockey and how did you
fall in love with it?
Yeah, I am from a very smalltown in Saskatchewan, like probably
1200 people.
So my brother was.
I'm like two years youngerthan my brother and he was put into
(01:50):
hockey.
And I think I was just such awild child.
My mom was like, I'm notchasing you around the rink here,
also going in hockey.
So I started playing hockeywhen I was naturally from Saskatchewan,
three years old and yeah, Iguess that the rest of that is history.
And then throughout that, itwas just what I knew, what I did,
(02:11):
who I was kind of thing.
And my dad played, my brotherplayed, and then my little cousins
played and the whole communityreally played.
So that's kind of what led meto playing it.
And just like a naturalpassion, I guess, for it because
everyone was awesome.
I get.
So we've got your bio, but.
(02:33):
And I'm sure you're well awarethat between the US and Canada, there
are a billion different levelsof, of hockey.
You know, right now there'slike five year olds trying to play
full ice triple A hockey herein the States.
And you know, Minnesota doesthings differently, Massachusetts
does things differently, butyou know, Canada can you talk to
us a little bit about whatkind of level you played at growing
(02:56):
up when you made thetransition from, you know, just a
rec.
You know, a local Saskatchewanleague, and then trying to play,
you know, at the higher levelsand on into college?
Yeah.
So I grew up playing boyshockey because there is no female
hockey available.
So I think I played boysuntil, like, Bantam.
(03:16):
And then we composed a femaleteam, which it would all be house
hockey here, we would call it.
And this female team wascomposed of, like, 10 different towns,
basically just pulling girlsfrom wherever we could.
And I'm really grateful forthat because that female league we
played all acrossSaskatchewan, and that allowed for
(03:37):
me to become recognized bywhat we call AAA hockey here.
And that was still in high school.
So I ended up moving toWeyburn to play aaa in grade 11,
and that was really cool.
In Saskatchewan, we have thenationals, I guess, for the AAA level
all across Canada.
(03:58):
And my grade 12 year reactionended up winning nationals, which
was, like, amazing.
And then from there, I endedup going and playing U sport in Regina,
Saskatchewan.
Stay close to home.
And then, so U Sport, I guess,would be like Canada's Div 1.
Yeah.
(04:19):
So there's universities acrossall of Canada, and that's what I
played.
And then I ended uptransitioning from there to go and
play in the AC AC League.
And that is college hockey.
So kind of like Div 3 in Canada.
Now, when you moved it inGrade 11, was that with your family
or did you just kind of go offand billet with another family?
(04:41):
Yeah, I billeted with a veryspecial lady who is still in my life
today.
So I'm really grateful for that.
And I lived with a couplegirls off the hockey team also.
So that was also a bigtransition because I only had an
older brother.
I can imagine.
And given that this.
Your background is in mentalhealth, and this is, you know, what
(05:02):
we're kind of focused on inthe episode today.
Did that impact your mentalhealth at all, looking back on it?
Or maybe.
Maybe you didn't realize it atthe time.
I remember my first year wasso hard living away from my parents.
I'm really close with myparents, so that was a huge challenge
for.
For me.
But luckily, the Billet familyI was with was, like, so great.
Obviously I said, I'm stillfriends with her today.
(05:25):
But, yeah, like, thetransition to how intense the schedule
was, even, like, you're on theice five days a week, you're doing
your workouts two to threetimes a week, then you're playing
every weekend and being ableto come home was so limited.
So that part I reallystruggled with.
And then it wasn't untilprobably like halfway throughout
the season it was like, hey,I'm getting into my routine.
(05:46):
And I also was a top playerboth years.
So it was just.
It wasn't.
That part of hockey wasn'thard for me, which was really nice.
It was living away from myparents that was harder.
Yeah, I can imagine.
So you mentioned your billetfamily being almost like a crutch
of support for you.
Before we get to that, can youshed some light on any specific adversity
(06:08):
you faced while playing?
We all know it's not a smoothtransition while playing.
We hit speed bumps along the way.
We all do.
And how did you try tonavigate that and navigate around
these challenges andultimately how did that lead you
to that mental health fieldthat you're in today?
Yeah, for sure.
So when I was transitioning toplay university, it was such a weird
(06:31):
thing.
Like the recruitment processwhen I was playing, it's so different
now.
But we never really had that support.
And I found it was almost likea taboo thing that you didn't talk
about with your teammates,like almost like a weird competition
thing.
So that was really hard for meand I just felt really uncomfortable
during the whole thing.
(06:51):
And then I ended up actuallycommitting to a team in Calgary,
like in the college league.
But I got offered a redshirtspot with the University of Regina.
And I just like had it in myhead that I was like, I'm going to
train so hard this summer andI'm going to go in and get a spot
on the team.
And that wasn't what.
What happened.
(07:12):
I ended up becoming red shirted.
And then about halfway throughthat season we had so many injuries.
I got pulled off redshirt andwas playing, which was great, but
I was like fourth line.
And for me that was a hugechallenge because I came from a team
where I was top line, eyes on,power plate, penalty kill.
(07:33):
So.
So that was a big adversityfor me and I didn't know really how
to communicate with my coach.
My mindset was pretty crappy,but I got through that year.
And then I was like, kink,second year has to be better.
So I stayed in Regina that season.
I really committed to workingout hockey.
(07:54):
I did like a ton of powerskating camps, stuff like that, and
I came in.
We went to Sweden that yearbefore our season started, which
was really cool.
We got to play a bunch ofteams there and I was on Like a good
line.
And I was like, oh, this is great.
This year's going to be different.
And then our season openercame around and I was being healthy
(08:16):
and that was really hard forme to understand.
I mean, I was like, I put inall this work, like off ice, I've
really improved.
On ice, I've really improved.
And whenever I went and talkedto my coach, all I could do was cry.
I couldn't even communicatewith her.
So that was such a challengefor me.
And then within that, it kindof snowballed.
(08:37):
I wasn't being a good teammate.
I felt really isolated and alone.
There wasn't very many of usbeing healthy.
So that was really hard for me.
And throughout that, I justnever learned to deal with it.
I just didn't have the toolsto know how to navigate that.
And I never knew that therewas external support that could have
(09:00):
supported me through that.
So that is what led me to whatI do now.
I really wanted to providesupport to athletes.
I know it's such a underservedpopulation for mental health support
and I just want athletes toknow that they're not alone.
And it can be really scary andisolating when you are because your
(09:24):
whole identity is formedaround being a hockey player.
So once I was done and burnt,I like burnt out from sport.
I had tons of concussions.
I just, yeah, I ended upquitting and walking away.
And that transition was sohard for me too.
So even that piece, I justwant athletes to know that, like,
they don't have to go throughall that alone and there's someone
(09:45):
there for them and there'stools that can help you manage the
stressors with being a highperformance athlete.
Yeah, that's great.
I think, you know, one of thewords that you used a little bit
ago was taboo.
And I think, you know, I'vegot a military background as well
as hockey and it's, it'seerily similar as how much, at least
we used to not speak aboutmental health.
(10:07):
Right.
Both military and hockey players.
Right.
It's a pretty tough community.
No one wants to kind of admitthat weakness and they want to battle
through everything.
And I'm glad to see that yourecognize that.
And yeah, kudos to you.
So, I mean, it's great.
I think that what you're doingnow is amazing.
(10:27):
And then, you know, as youtransition from player to getting
into this mental health field,what did that transition look like
in terms of getting someexperience, some reps?
Where did you jump into firstin the mental health field?
Did you go Right into athletics.
Talk to us a little bit about that.
Yeah, I worked a lot withYouth at Risk, actually, so it had
(10:50):
really nothing to do withathletics at first.
I just was like, I reallywanted to get mental health experience
and I honestly love workingwith kids.
So that's where I started.
And I kind of started doingthat even during my undergrad, I
guess, just working at likenon for profits with kids who weren't
able to afford or play sports.
(11:10):
So we provided equipment andleagues for them to play in.
So that's kind of where it all started.
And I really recognized thatthat was the pathway I wanted to
go through that.
And then I ended up moving toBC and I worked in housing for youth
with multiple diagnoses andthat was also really great experience.
(11:33):
And then I worked in a schoolwith Youth at Risk and we would go
hiking with them, we'd gomountain biking, we'd go skiing,
we'd go kayaking.
We do all these fun activitieswith the kids, which also provided
me with a ton of great experience.
But I just knew that the routeI wanted to go was working with athletes
as I knew that, like I said,it's an underserved population.
(11:57):
So I ended up just going for it.
Honestly, I was like, I'm justgoing to go for it.
And I guess here I am today.
I mean, I think that's great.
A lot of parallels in the, youknow, the youth at risk population
because again, you know, Igrew up in a tough town where we
didn't talk about that stuff.
There were a lot of at riskyouth and nobody talked about mental
(12:19):
health.
Do you feel like thattransition was easy having that background,
working with the youth at riskand youth in general to be able to
move into a sport like hockey?
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
I found like that equipped mewith a lot of skills and knowledge
on mental health for me tomove forward in working in the field.
(12:40):
I guess I chose to work in andI think too like, my own experience
as an athlete allows for me torelate to who I my athletes I work
with.
Like, I know I can be souncomfortable talking to someone
about mental health and ourdeepest, darkest secrets.
It's really awkward and it's hard.
(13:02):
And I really find because Ihave that experience, it's so much
easier to make my clients feelmore comfortable.
And I mean, you just connectwhen you can relate.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
I think that's great.
Yeah.
And credit to you for givingback, just going through all of that.
And I bet it helps too when,when you sit down with a client too,
(13:24):
to have the firsthandexperience to.
To know what they're goingthrough and help them in that way
as well.
So you started your own business.
You started Unmasked Performance.
There's always a story behinda name.
So how'd you come up with thename Unmasked Performance?
Yeah, I have this really great.
As a counselor, it's importantfor you to have a clinical supervisor
(13:45):
who you're able to bounceideas off of with clients if you're
stuck or whatnot.
And I have this really greatsupervisor who's more like a mentor
and a friend, actually.
And he really supported me ingrowing my business and believing
in myself.
And I find found throughout myexperience in university playing
hockey, my confidence really plummeted.
(14:06):
And it was just so great towork with this guy because he really
supports me and believes in me.
And it allowed for myself tobuild confidence within myself of
starting my business because,I mean, there's so much that comes,
feelings that come up withstarting your own business after
you've been throughexperiences in your life.
(14:26):
I guess I knew as an athlete Iwould almost hide behind my mask.
We have this perceived ideasthat we have to be mentally tough
and we're able to navigate andget through any challenges.
So when we unmask ourselves, Ithink it's really important for us
to be able to dive into ourvulnerabilities and be able to be
(14:48):
not only an athlete, but, butwho are we outside of being an athlete?
And I think that's kind ofwhere I really wanted the direction
of my business to go.
And the name obviously reallyfit with that.
And now let's take a quickbreak to hear from our partners.
(15:09):
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EDGE15.
You know, I think it's, maybeit's, it's just me.
Maybe it's easier for kids todevelop those masks that you spoke
about at a younger age ifthey're not given the right tools,
right?
So we have these, these youththat are trying to hide behind, whether
(17:18):
it be their parents or youknow, some of the pro players they
look up to.
And that just continues on theolder they get if something's not
done about it.
But with your business andwe're, you know, your background
is, is there a specific agegroup that you try to target or you.
Doesn't matter to you?
Do you like the, you know,because personally speaking, both
my kids are nine and a halfand 11.
(17:40):
Both have a mental performance coach.
Right, That's.
But it's also a way to getthem just to talk to somebody.
Right.
So it's like therapy, youknow, to use that taboo word, therapy,
but wrapped in sports,something they love, so they get
to speak to somebody abouttheir feelings.
And I, I just kind ofwondered, you know, is there, what
is the ideal age in your opinion?
(18:00):
I mean right now I'm workingwith a couple gals who are 11 years
old who are going into, ormaybe a little older, 12 or 11 going
into double A tryouts this weekend.
And it's like, because I'm sofar removed from it when I am talking
to a client who's that age,I'm like, holy, like you're already
experiencing the stress thatcomes with sport.
(18:23):
And it's like crazy to me,like with lots of my clients, I'm
really trying to normalizemistakes and things that, focusing
on things that are in yourcontrol, not about, of your control.
And it's so interesting to seehow early on it's starting now the
pressures that young athletes face.
But so anyways, I work withathletes aged, I'd say like 11 to
(18:46):
25 ish.
Do you notice trends likebetween Them do or do you like?
Is there a huge difference?
Is it easier?
Is it better for you, betterfor the athlete to get them at an
earlier age?
Well, definitely minimizes thechances of burnout because I have,
I'm working with some athletesthat are burnt out, you know, and
(19:06):
it's really hard for me to seebecause that's what I went through.
And I'm sad that I wasn't ableto be a support for them early on
where they didn't have toexperience that.
So I find that part.
But they're already, they havesuch similar feelings and beliefs
about sport.
It's very interesting actually.
Like the 11 year old hasperfectionism is a big thing and
(19:31):
the 22 year old exact same thing.
So it's very much correlatedand it's crazy to see how it's occurring
already in such young athletes.
Where do you think that comes from?
Do you think it's like their upbringing?
Do you think it's a lot ofthe, the, you know, it's a lot on
the coaches, the pressurethey're putting on them.
Is it the parents?
(19:51):
Is it, is it just thiscombination of all of them?
Yeah, I think it honestly is acombination of them.
And like not every parent'sthe same, not every coach is the
same.
So it's hard to say it's morecoaches, it's more parents, but in
some instances, maybe it ismore coaches than parents or maybe
it is in other instances moreto the parents than the coaches.
And I also think there's likethe PWHL is up there now and the
(20:15):
boys have the NHL.
Like they idolize these peopleand they want to be just like them.
Well, how do you become that person?
Well, we've created thisculture in hockey where it's like
end all, be all.
You have to just, you have tofocus on it and go for it from such
a young age.
Yeah, it's is crazy.
You mentioned the pressure.
(20:35):
It's crazy to think over theyears how, how much pressure these
young kids face from evenmites and squirts and, and how hockey
just in general, especially inthe states, has become so professionalized
and, and, and just again theburnout that we see kids just leaving
(20:56):
the game because it's more ofa job to them than, than an actual
sport that's supposed to be fun.
They make mistakes.
Any human being NHL ers make mistakes.
So you talk about sports anxiety.
First off, what is yourdefinition of sports anxiety?
And what advice would you giveto a young player that just feels
(21:17):
so pressured every time theyget out on the ice and it's not enjoyable
for them anymore.
At a young age, starting, likeI said, 8 to 10 years old, it's.
Crazy for athletes when you'regoing through sport and you're experiencing
anxiety and pressure and theburnout, how to manage that?
I think something, of courseI'm going to say, but is a big part
(21:37):
is finding that externalperson to talk to.
If you know that you stillwant to be a part of sport but aren't
sure how to navigate it.
I truly believe that findingthat external person, whether it
be me, whether it be whomeverto talk to, has an outlet is so important.
And within that too, lots oftimes we're focusing on our mistakes.
(21:57):
We're fearful of making amistake, remembering what's out of
my control, what's in my control.
So most times if you're havingthat experience of anxiety, you're
focusing on things that areout of your control.
Like, oh, my coach is tellingme that I gotta keep doing this,
I gotta be faster, blah, blah.
So you're hyper focusing onthat, which in the end hinders your
(22:19):
performance as you're makingthose mistakes more often.
Right.
So focusing on what is in your control.
Okay, coach is giving me this feedback.
What can I do from that feedback?
That's in my control.
And when you focus on thingsthat aren't out of your control,
you'd be surprised how muchyour anxiety decreases.
That's awesome.
You know, I coach Chuck,coaches, I'm obviously, I've got
(22:42):
a huge passion for mentalhealth because I know the struggles
that, you know, I personallyhad with it.
And then looking back, thestruggles that I absolutely had during
the game.
But, you know, that was 30years ago and we certainly talk about
that stuff.
Nor did we have the resources.
Right.
You know, as a coach, I try tobe that outlet, to try to bring some,
some levity even when thingsare going wrong, or I try to pull
(23:03):
the players in and let themknow, hey, just control what you
can control.
But to all the other coachesout there, the ones that are listening,
you know, what are some thingsthat they can do to not only recognize
that, hey, maybe I'm thesource of some of this pressure,
but also to help those kidsdeal with it kind of in the moment.
And then, you know, long term, I.
Think it's like, lots of timesas athletes, we don't want to disappoint
(23:26):
or be like a failure to our coach.
We look up to our coach.
We idolize our coach.
Right.
We want to be, we want to Beawesome for them.
So when you're constantlygiving your athlete feedback, and
I want to say like, quoteunquote, like negative feedback,
then we need to sandwich thatwith something that's positive.
Okay, this is what I need youto do this shift.
(23:47):
And you know what?
I noticed you back checkedthere and it was awesome and you
caught your man, whatever itmay be.
And I'm blanking again.
So I think too, if you noticeafter you give your player feedback,
you're like, oh, their bodylanguage is showing me that they
didn't really respond well tothat feedback.
That's a great opportunity for you.
(24:07):
Maybe in between periods orafter the game, check in with them,
be like, hey, I noticed afterI said this to you, you kind of look
sluggish and sad.
Can we talk about that?
When you're able to do thatwith your players, you're providing
them a safe space where theyare able to feel like they can come
to you and talk to you abouthow they were feeling in that moment.
And that can be an opportunityfor you to also be like, as a coach,
(24:31):
I didn't mean that you're nota great hockey player.
You wouldn't be on this teamif you weren't.
I just meant I'm just a coach.
And I also need to providefeedback because that's how we grow
is through feedback.
Right.
And that's how we grow isthrough making mistakes.
I always say to my athletes,hockey, because most of my athletes
are hockey players.
(24:53):
How boring would hockey be ifwe were all perfect?
That's a great.
I'm steal that line.
That's great.
I think it would be.
I would never watch it.
I never turn it on the tv.
I never.
Yeah, I mean, it's verysimilar to a phrase that I've heard
used before where, you know,hockey is a very simple game, but
it is very hard to play playsimple hockey.
(25:14):
So we touched upon theplayers, we touched upon the coaches,
and now it's time to talkabout the parents.
Unfortunately, 99% of therinks you go in in the States and
even.
Even in Canada, I've seen it.
You see the parents yellingfrom the stands, and then if the
kid doesn't have a great game,the dreaded car ride home.
(25:34):
What kind of advice would yougive to parents when dealing with.
With the mental side of thegame for their own children?
I mean, lots of times you seeparents trying to be the coach, Right?
And when parents are thecoach, it pushes your kid further
away.
So I would not advise parentsto coach your child if the child
(25:58):
does not ask for their feedback.
When you're able to connectwith your kid outside of sport, also,
that is how you develop your relationship.
It's about connecting.
When you're constantly givingyour kid feedback with their hockey,
it's gonna make them push youfurther away.
And not only that, that canlead to burnout for your child.
(26:21):
So what I ask is for parentsto really just be there for your
child.
Ask them how they're doing.
Hey, how did you think thatgame went?
Yeah, I thought you did great.
And then you can move on.
And if your child wants toengage in further conversation, that's
great.
I heard recently that someonesaid in the car ride home, you know,
(26:42):
parents have their own opinions.
They have their opinionsnaturally, but just ask your kid
on the ride home, hey, Inoticed some things, you know, would
you like to talk about it?
And if they say no, leave italone and move to the next subject.
If they're welcoming advice,be constructive criticism, positive
reinforcement, things like that.
(27:04):
But if they say no, just shutit down and move on.
It's exactly what I was goingto say.
You're in my brain.
Check something that hashelped me.
I coach my kids when they wantme to.
I'm on the bench with one now,but I don't speak to them during
the game.
We don't even look at each other.
And we just know that onething that has helped me get past,
(27:24):
you know, reliving the dreadedcar rides home that I had when I
was a kid.
And that's, you know, no digat my dad, who is probably not listening
to this anyway, but it's beenthe, hey, you want to talk about
your game?
Like, do you want to?
Or you want to just talk aboutwhatever, you know?
And he.
Sometimes it'll be, yeah,let's talk about it.
What can I do better?
Or sometimes it'll be like, no.
(27:45):
But then they'll.
They'll circle back whenthey're ready.
And I think that letting themcome to you when they're ready, right
at.
The end of the day, what makesyou feel the most accomplished as
a mental health counselor?
What's the.
What's the ultimate goal atthe end of the day when your client
leaves or you leave a session,what makes you feel most accomplished?
(28:05):
I think what makes me feelmost accomplished is, like, when
I bring this awareness to themthat, like, it's okay to be.
Make mistakes, or it's okay tonot be perfect, or it's okay to not
be in control.
It's almost like you See it intheir eyes.
It's like that aha moment.
Like, oh, yeah, that actuallyis okay and it is normal.
(28:27):
And actually everyone makes mistakes.
I think that is like, been areally rewarding part.
And another rewarding part, Ithink for myself is providing a resource
for athletes to know that theyaren't alone in their journey and
that there is someone outthere that cares to listen to them.
And I really believe that weall have our own experience in our
(28:49):
journey and how we perceive that.
And I just want to give peoplethe opportunity to share their story
and their journey and processthat in a way that can better them
more so as a human being.
So back to you and unmaskedperformance a little bit now.
There's obviously states doesthings a little differently.
(29:11):
There are certain provincesyou're licensed in in Canada.
Are you, you know, with thismental, like the way it's wrapped
up here you do you go U.S. canada.
Are you only allowed to talkto athletes in certain parts of Canada?
Are you, you know, countrywide?
How does that work?
So I'm licensed out of BritishColumbia and I can provide counseling
(29:33):
to places that aren't regulated.
Basically, I think it's.
Is it easier to connectthrough the.
Hey, I'm providing, you know,I'm a mental performance coach, providing
some.
Some sports specific mentalhealth as opposed to, hey, I'm.
I'm a counselor providingactual counseling.
It's so interesting.
Like, it can be so scary forpeople to be like, I don't think
(29:55):
I want to go see a counselor.
Like, that sounds really scary.
And once again, it almost islike a taboo thing.
And I think something that Ijust really want to remind people
is like, I'm also a human being.
And like, I went through thewhole experience that you.
You're most likely going through.
Like, I can connect with youon some level with it, and I just
(30:16):
really care about you.
Like, that's the main thing.
I want to make sure that youfeel like you're not alone.
I just, yeah, I wish it wasn'tso taboo.
And I.
And that's my goal is toreally break those barriers so athletes
feel like they are able tosay, yeah, I'm seeing a counselor.
It's really helping me withnot only my mental health, but my
(30:37):
performance as an athlete.
Because arguably the two gohand in.
Hand how people can reach youand what services you provide.
Yeah, so honestly, primarilyall my services are offered online.
As, you know, athletes areobviously playing on numerous different
teams and they're all over the country.
(30:59):
So I am available over Zoom.
Which is really nice forathletes as they can just be in the
comfort of their own home andnot worry about going to an office
space that you're unfamiliarwith or whatnot.
And if athletes want to reachme, they can email me unmaskedperformancemail.com
or they can follow me.
(31:20):
I post tips and just about myown journey and experience for you
to get to know me more onInstagram @UnmaskedPerformance.
Obviously Chuck and I bothfollow your page.
I think I've seen some tipsthere that you know, I've shared,
I've used personally.
So I appreciate that we'regetting towards the end here.
So I hit you with another hard question.
(31:40):
So development, we talk humanperformance is a, you know, that
whole mental, physical.
What, what is your definitionof development?
I think for myself, especiallyas I'm coming from mental health
side is important to developas a whole.
So in hockey we tend to focusmore on the physical side of development
(32:03):
where we're really missing outon our mental and that can really
play into our performance as a whole.
Right.
So I think for myself workingwith athletes, a huge part of the
development is building self awareness.
We can't grow if we don't haveany self awareness.
(32:23):
And that's where I can reallysupport athletes in building that.
And it can be hard.
Your kids, they're kids.
I didn't have any self awareness.
Right.
I like I was going through thetrenches and I didn't think any of
it was me.
I didn't really take any accountability.
Right.
That's why I really wonderwhat the trajectory of my sport,
(32:44):
career could have been if Icould have had that support.
Yeah, absolutely.
I think there's a lot ofpeople in the, in the same boat.
It's, it's frustrating but atleast we're doing something about
it now.
And you are as well.
And I commend you.
I think it's awesome.
I think that you are not justchanging the game for the better.
Right.
You're also changing thesekids lives and you're having a huge
(33:07):
impact because someday hockeywill end.
Whether that's when they're,you know, they hang it up at 70 from
playing beer league or whenthey, they don't make a team and
they decide to call it quitsand focus on something else.
But you are truly changingtheir lives and I think that's extremely
commendable.
So continue to do good things.
Yeah.
I look forward to followingyour journey.
(33:29):
Thank you so much.
Yeah, thank you for joining us today.
It was very informative.
I learned a bunch of thingsI'm sure Eric did as well.
And our listeners.
So that's going to be it forour episode today.
Again, thank you so much forjoining us.
Tessa yeah, thank you so much.
If you enjoyed the episode,share with a friend, Coach, Parent,
(33:51):
anyone else player, Anyoneelse you think might be interested
and benefit from it?
Please leave a review on ApplePodcasts and Spotify.
Make sure you're following uson those platforms.
Instagram we'll be posting ourguests and topics, as well as our
partners.
We've got a pretty awesomelist of guests coming up, so and
but they've got some big shoesto fill.
(34:12):
Thanks to Tessa.
Yeah, thank you for listeningto episode one of Sharpening your
Edge.
We'll see you next time.
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