May 19, 2025 • 14 mins
After a surprise breakup and a modeling offer that asked her to hide her stretch marks, Anna shares the raw truth of what it means to bloom. This story from The Moth is about growth, self-worth, and choosing yourself—no matter the cost.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi everybody, welcome to the she Asked podcast with
Anna McBride, where we explorethe power of storytelling
rewriting our narratives tochange our lives.
So excited to be able to sharewith you something that's near
and dear to my heart, that is,the actual art of storytelling.
(00:24):
I want to share with you abouta community that I get to
participate in.
It's called the MothStorytelling and they are a New
York-based program that's nowgone international.
It's basically like an open micnight for storytellers.
They take their program intothe schools and community, but
(00:49):
where I intersect with them isthat I actually get up on stage
and get to tell stories.
The way their events work isthat they partnership with local
venues comedy centers,restaurants, bars that happen to
have a stage and an ability tohave a lot of people in the
audience.
And as a storyteller, I choosewhich venue I want to go
(01:16):
participate in and I alwayschoose one that happens to have
a topic, because Moth choosesthe topics that are hosted at
different locations and I pickthe locations that have a topic
that resonate with me.
The storyteller writes a story.
It can't be more than sixminutes, so that equates to
about 900 words a short essayand the story has to be true
(01:42):
meaning about you and has to betruly that it happened.
It has to be on topic and nomore than six minutes.
Most recently, I got up onstage and told a story that the
topic was called Blooming, whichwas about the idea of growth.
Where in your life had youexperienced some growth?
(02:03):
Where in your life had youexperienced some growth?
And I went to this venue, whichwas in Brooklyn, and you have
to actually fill out a form, putyour name in a hat, and they
only picked 10 storytellers.
I got picked.
I was the third one to get upon stage.
(02:28):
The story I told was about twosituations that I experienced
recently that gave me anopportunity to see where I've
grown.
I said that by the time you getto my age, it would be easy for
me to think that I've learnedall the hard lessons in life,
that I could just sail rightinto the golden years knowing
that the hard parts were behindme and that life would just be
easy.
Not true?
(02:50):
Lots of bumps still to be hadby this person.
Most recently, last fall, metand fell in love with someone
and thought things were goingwell.
I thought I had healed from themarriage that I got out of
seven years ago.
It was a very emotionallyabusive marriage that I was in
(03:13):
for 36 years and when it ended Ispent quite a bit of time
working on my self-esteem, mycodependency and other aspects
of my personality, which led tome staying in an abusive
marriage.
The other part of the story hadto do with a opportunity that
(03:37):
came to me through social media.
I was approached by a groupthat wanted me to become, or
consider becoming, a spokesmodelfor them.
They were a fitnessorganization.
They wanted to attract womenfrom my decade, which is in the
60s, and they were hoping tofind someone who had personality
(03:58):
, a social media presence andwas herself fit, that would want
to explore their program andthen hopefully be able to help
them promote it so that theycould attract people from my age
group.
And as someone who's been a gymrat for decades, I thought well
, this makes sense, I'll checkit out, I'm working out anyway,
(04:19):
so not that much of a difference.
However, their program expectedany participant to be weighed
and measured and photographed ona weekly basis in a bathing
suit, and, as someone who hadsuffered from an eating disorder
for over three decades, thatwas potentially triggering to me
Again.
(04:39):
I considered it because I'vebeen healed from my eating
disorder for the better part oftwo decades now and I really
wanted to show myself that I hadhealed, I had grown, that I had
made peace with my body, that Iloved myself as I am.
And by doing their process andreally challenging the way I
(05:03):
look at myself on a regularbasis, I would be able to
identify if there was still somehealing yet to do, as well as
in the ways I had healed.
So I said, yes, I would try it.
So we agreed that I would begintheir program, which I did in
January, do those weeklymeasurements and check-ins with
(05:25):
a coach and then do theirprogram and eat their
recommended diet, which ismacro-based, by the way, and all
seemed to be going well untilthey wanted me to do a photo
shoot.
The photo shoot, which did takeplace a couple weeks ago, was at
a local photographer that theyfound and paid for in Manhattan,
(05:46):
and I went there to getphotographed in a bathing suit
to check my camera presence,because I don't have a modeling
background, so they weren't surehow I would be able to handle
myself in front of a camera and,oh my gosh, what a day it was.
I went there with my clothes,my bathing suits I even got to
(06:07):
bring business attire and theywere taking all kinds of
pictures of me.
They had a makeup andhairstylist there to glam me up,
and this photographer tookhundreds of pictures.
I was there for four hours inheels, having the day of my life
.
For someone who never wearsmuch more than lip gloss, it
(06:31):
really was quite a deal, and thepictures looked fantastic.
I really was so excited abouthow they turned out.
Even the photographer thought Idid a great job for someone
who's never done it before.
This is when the story took aturn.
I realized that night that Ihadn't heard from the guy that I
had been seeing in a few days,and I knew he had had a visitor
(06:55):
in from out of town, and Ithought he wouldn't really have
much time and I was busy as itwas, so I didn't think much
about it.
But that evening I had someintuitive awakening that led me
to wonder if there was a problemthat I wasn't aware of or I
wasn't really focusing on.
And so I found myself in themiddle of the night waking up to
(07:18):
this thought that something isgoing on and you're not paying
attention, and when a thoughtlike that enters my mind in the
middle of the night, Iimmediately start thinking about
my children, and I checked tosee if there was any sign of
something I was overlooking withthem, based on old text
(07:39):
messaging or maybe a missedphone call, nothing like that.
So I said okay.
Then I thought about myfinances and I actually went and
checked my bank accountsbecause I wasn't sure if this
was the universe saying hey, bigproblems, check it out.
And nothing seemed amiss.
Everything was fine there.
(08:00):
The very next thought I had wasthis guy.
His name popped into my headand I thought hmm, I wonder if
there's a problem there.
So I texted him and said I'mawake in the middle of the night
and my mind has got the best ofme and I'm just wondering,
since I haven't heard from youin a few days, if there is a
(08:20):
problem that I'm just not awareof Yet.
I know you're busy, your friendis visiting and if there is, I
trust you'll let me know.
I'm going back to sleep, goodnight.
So I didn't think more about ituntil the next day, where I was
on a trip to an out-of-townpodcast recording and I was at
(08:43):
the airport, stopping to havesome lunch.
So it was a good 12 hours sinceI texted that boyfriend Mr
Wonderful, we'll call him and Isat down to lunch, looked at my
phone to see a text message fromhim in which he proceeded to
break up with me.
Ouch, what a way to find outthat Mr Wonderful had some
(09:08):
problems with my personality,that it was too much for him.
I communicated too much.
I had a bigger life than he hadanticipated.
There were other things too,yet he wanted me to know he
still wanted to remain friends.
And there I was, in thisairport, about to walk into an
(09:32):
interview that was about all thecreative things that I am in
the process of giving birth to,and I had to put my feelings to
the side so that I could followthrough on that.
It was really very challengingfor me, because I did have love
feelings for this person, andyet I made it through that day.
(09:54):
A few days after that, I got atext message from the
photographer.
He wanted me to know that hehad heard from the fitness
organization, and they asked himto get my permission to
Photoshop the pictures the onesin the bathing suit because they
(10:16):
didn't want my stretch marks toshow Stretch marks.
Stretch marks that I gotbecause I'm a mother of three
children.
Stretch marks that I've, I lovebecause I love being a mom.
Stretch marks because this is abody in her 60s and you can't
(10:36):
get to my age without getting afew scars.
I thought about it for about onesecond and I turned in response
and said no, absolutely not.
No, I'm not letting you erasethe truth of who I am.
No, I'm not going to let youdenigrate the one area of my
life I'm most proud about, thething I think is my finest work.
(10:59):
So, no, I'm not going to letyou do that.
The photographer said are yousure?
And I said yes, I'm sure.
He said okay.
Within an hour I got an emailfrom that fitness group, to
which they said succinctly ifthat's a hard no, then this is a
hard pass.
Ouch, in one week, two hardlessons.
(11:23):
And I thought about it.
I thought that possibly whatthis was offering me is a growth
opportunity.
What this was offering me is agrowth opportunity where I get
to really see how I have healed,that I am not going to
apologize for the body thatcarried my three children.
I'm not going to shrink mypersonality to suit a man's ego?
(11:47):
No, I'm not.
I actually love who I am.
No, I'm not.
I actually love who I am.
I have worked really really hardto heal from the pain from my
past, the trauma of my childhood, the dysmorphia, ideas about my
body shape, and as I consideredthat, I realized I really have
(12:09):
grown, I have healed that.
These possibly were twoexamples that life was trying to
show me that I am on the rightpath and that when you choose
yourself over anything money,men, opportunity you're always
(12:30):
going to end up winning.
This is a big win for me when Ithink about it that way and
it's a much better story when Itell myself that and I really
felt grateful that as I wastelling the story to the
audience, it really resonatedwith them.
People were cheering, peoplewere hollering and laughing and
(12:53):
cheering and it just warmed myheart to know that when we heal,
when we show that we havehealed, everyone gets lifted
with that.
When we take the courage tostand up for our principles and
put them ahead of, in my case, aman or money, that I can be a
hero for someone else and I feelreally blessed that I got to do
(13:18):
that and it got to be somethingthat I enjoy doing.
So if I'm going to tell a storyabout where I've struggled, I
hope that I can grow and thelistener can grow, and we are
both growing and healingtogether.
So that's a recent storytellingevent that I got to participate
in and it really is somethingthat's fun for me.
(13:40):
Open mic night with the moth Ido it as often as I can.
I used to do it two or threetimes a month and now I'm down
to about one or two times at themost.
If you get a chance to go see amoth event, you will love it.
If you are a closetedstoryteller, I highly recommend
you come out of the closet andgo show up for an event and put
(14:01):
your name in the hat.
It's a lot of fun and it's ahealing and growing process, and
that's what has contributed tome creating not only this
podcast but the Change yourNarrative, rewrite your
Narrative, change your Story,change your Life workshop series
and how we can truly heal justby looking at the stories that
(14:23):
we tell ourselves, as well asthe world.
So thank you for tuning in andhearing this episode.
Don't forget to follow alongand subscribe for more.
See you next time.
Be well.
Hi everybody, welcome to the she Asked podcast with
Anna McBride, where we explorethe power of storytelling
rewriting our narratives tochange our lives.
So excited to be able to sharewith you something that's near
and dear to my heart, that is,the actual art of storytelling.
(00:24):
I want to share with you abouta community that I get to
participate in.
It's called the MothStorytelling and they are a New
York-based program that's nowgone international.
It's basically like an open micnight for storytellers.
They take their program intothe schools and community, but
(00:49):
where I intersect with them isthat I actually get up on stage
and get to tell stories.
The way their events work isthat they partnership with local
venues comedy centers,restaurants, bars that happen to
have a stage and an ability tohave a lot of people in the
audience.
And as a storyteller, I choosewhich venue I want to go
(01:16):
participate in and I alwayschoose one that happens to have
a topic, because Moth choosesthe topics that are hosted at
different locations and I pickthe locations that have a topic
that resonate with me.
The storyteller writes a story.
It can't be more than sixminutes, so that equates to
about 900 words a short essayand the story has to be true
(01:42):
meaning about you and has to betruly that it happened.
It has to be on topic and nomore than six minutes.
Most recently, I got up onstage and told a story that the
topic was called Blooming, whichwas about the idea of growth.
Where in your life had youexperienced some growth?
(02:03):
Where in your life had youexperienced some growth?
And I went to this venue, whichwas in Brooklyn, and you have
to actually fill out a form, putyour name in a hat, and they
only picked 10 storytellers.
I got picked.
I was the third one to get upon stage.
(02:28):
The story I told was about twosituations that I experienced
recently that gave me anopportunity to see where I've
grown.
I said that by the time you getto my age, it would be easy for
me to think that I've learnedall the hard lessons in life,
that I could just sail rightinto the golden years knowing
that the hard parts were behindme and that life would just be
easy.
Not true?
(02:50):
Lots of bumps still to be hadby this person.
Most recently, last fall, metand fell in love with someone
and thought things were goingwell.
I thought I had healed from themarriage that I got out of
seven years ago.
It was a very emotionallyabusive marriage that I was in
(03:13):
for 36 years and when it ended Ispent quite a bit of time
working on my self-esteem, mycodependency and other aspects
of my personality, which led tome staying in an abusive
marriage.
The other part of the story hadto do with a opportunity that
(03:37):
came to me through social media.
I was approached by a groupthat wanted me to become, or
consider becoming, a spokesmodelfor them.
They were a fitnessorganization.
They wanted to attract womenfrom my decade, which is in the
60s, and they were hoping tofind someone who had personality
(03:58):
, a social media presence andwas herself fit, that would want
to explore their program andthen hopefully be able to help
them promote it so that theycould attract people from my age
group.
And as someone who's been a gymrat for decades, I thought well
, this makes sense, I'll checkit out, I'm working out anyway,
(04:19):
so not that much of a difference.
However, their program expectedany participant to be weighed
and measured and photographed ona weekly basis in a bathing
suit, and, as someone who hadsuffered from an eating disorder
for over three decades, thatwas potentially triggering to me
Again.
(04:39):
I considered it because I'vebeen healed from my eating
disorder for the better part oftwo decades now and I really
wanted to show myself that I hadhealed, I had grown, that I had
made peace with my body, that Iloved myself as I am.
And by doing their process andreally challenging the way I
(05:03):
look at myself on a regularbasis, I would be able to
identify if there was still somehealing yet to do, as well as
in the ways I had healed.
So I said, yes, I would try it.
So we agreed that I would begintheir program, which I did in
January, do those weeklymeasurements and check-ins with
(05:25):
a coach and then do theirprogram and eat their
recommended diet, which ismacro-based, by the way, and all
seemed to be going well untilthey wanted me to do a photo
shoot.
The photo shoot, which did takeplace a couple weeks ago, was at
a local photographer that theyfound and paid for in Manhattan,
(05:46):
and I went there to getphotographed in a bathing suit
to check my camera presence,because I don't have a modeling
background, so they weren't surehow I would be able to handle
myself in front of a camera and,oh my gosh, what a day it was.
I went there with my clothes,my bathing suits I even got to
(06:07):
bring business attire and theywere taking all kinds of
pictures of me.
They had a makeup andhairstylist there to glam me up,
and this photographer tookhundreds of pictures.
I was there for four hours inheels, having the day of my life
.
For someone who never wearsmuch more than lip gloss, it
(06:31):
really was quite a deal, and thepictures looked fantastic.
I really was so excited abouthow they turned out.
Even the photographer thought Idid a great job for someone
who's never done it before.
This is when the story took aturn.
I realized that night that Ihadn't heard from the guy that I
had been seeing in a few days,and I knew he had had a visitor
(06:55):
in from out of town, and Ithought he wouldn't really have
much time and I was busy as itwas, so I didn't think much
about it.
But that evening I had someintuitive awakening that led me
to wonder if there was a problemthat I wasn't aware of or I
wasn't really focusing on.
And so I found myself in themiddle of the night waking up to
(07:18):
this thought that something isgoing on and you're not paying
attention, and when a thoughtlike that enters my mind in the
middle of the night, Iimmediately start thinking about
my children, and I checked tosee if there was any sign of
something I was overlooking withthem, based on old text
(07:39):
messaging or maybe a missedphone call, nothing like that.
So I said okay.
Then I thought about myfinances and I actually went and
checked my bank accountsbecause I wasn't sure if this
was the universe saying hey, bigproblems, check it out.
And nothing seemed amiss.
Everything was fine there.
(08:00):
The very next thought I had wasthis guy.
His name popped into my headand I thought hmm, I wonder if
there's a problem there.
So I texted him and said I'mawake in the middle of the night
and my mind has got the best ofme and I'm just wondering,
since I haven't heard from youin a few days, if there is a
(08:20):
problem that I'm just not awareof Yet.
I know you're busy, your friendis visiting and if there is, I
trust you'll let me know.
I'm going back to sleep, goodnight.
So I didn't think more about ituntil the next day, where I was
on a trip to an out-of-townpodcast recording and I was at
(08:43):
the airport, stopping to havesome lunch.
So it was a good 12 hours sinceI texted that boyfriend Mr
Wonderful, we'll call him and Isat down to lunch, looked at my
phone to see a text message fromhim in which he proceeded to
break up with me.
Ouch, what a way to find outthat Mr Wonderful had some
(09:08):
problems with my personality,that it was too much for him.
I communicated too much.
I had a bigger life than he hadanticipated.
There were other things too,yet he wanted me to know he
still wanted to remain friends.
And there I was, in thisairport, about to walk into an
(09:32):
interview that was about all thecreative things that I am in
the process of giving birth to,and I had to put my feelings to
the side so that I could followthrough on that.
It was really very challengingfor me, because I did have love
feelings for this person, andyet I made it through that day.
(09:54):
A few days after that, I got atext message from the
photographer.
He wanted me to know that hehad heard from the fitness
organization, and they asked himto get my permission to
Photoshop the pictures the onesin the bathing suit because they
(10:16):
didn't want my stretch marks toshow Stretch marks.
Stretch marks that I gotbecause I'm a mother of three
children.
Stretch marks that I've, I lovebecause I love being a mom.
Stretch marks because this is abody in her 60s and you can't
(10:36):
get to my age without getting afew scars.
I thought about it for about onesecond and I turned in response
and said no, absolutely not.
No, I'm not letting you erasethe truth of who I am.
No, I'm not going to let youdenigrate the one area of my
life I'm most proud about, thething I think is my finest work.
(10:59):
So, no, I'm not going to letyou do that.
The photographer said are yousure?
And I said yes, I'm sure.
He said okay.
Within an hour I got an emailfrom that fitness group, to
which they said succinctly ifthat's a hard no, then this is a
hard pass.
Ouch, in one week, two hardlessons.
(11:23):
And I thought about it.
I thought that possibly whatthis was offering me is a growth
opportunity.
What this was offering me is agrowth opportunity where I get
to really see how I have healed,that I am not going to
apologize for the body thatcarried my three children.
I'm not going to shrink mypersonality to suit a man's ego?
(11:47):
No, I'm not.
I actually love who I am.
No, I'm not.
I actually love who I am.
I have worked really really hardto heal from the pain from my
past, the trauma of my childhood, the dysmorphia, ideas about my
body shape, and as I consideredthat, I realized I really have
(12:09):
grown, I have healed that.
These possibly were twoexamples that life was trying to
show me that I am on the rightpath and that when you choose
yourself over anything money,men, opportunity you're always
(12:30):
going to end up winning.
This is a big win for me when Ithink about it that way and
it's a much better story when Itell myself that and I really
felt grateful that as I wastelling the story to the
audience, it really resonatedwith them.
People were cheering, peoplewere hollering and laughing and
(12:53):
cheering and it just warmed myheart to know that when we heal,
when we show that we havehealed, everyone gets lifted
with that.
When we take the courage tostand up for our principles and
put them ahead of, in my case, aman or money, that I can be a
hero for someone else and I feelreally blessed that I got to do
(13:18):
that and it got to be somethingthat I enjoy doing.
So if I'm going to tell a storyabout where I've struggled, I
hope that I can grow and thelistener can grow, and we are
both growing and healingtogether.
So that's a recent storytellingevent that I got to participate
in and it really is somethingthat's fun for me.
(13:40):
Open mic night with the moth Ido it as often as I can.
I used to do it two or threetimes a month and now I'm down
to about one or two times at themost.
If you get a chance to go see amoth event, you will love it.
If you are a closetedstoryteller, I highly recommend
you come out of the closet andgo show up for an event and put
(14:01):
your name in the hat.
It's a lot of fun and it's ahealing and growing process, and
that's what has contributed tome creating not only this
podcast but the Change yourNarrative, rewrite your
Narrative, change your Story,change your Life workshop series
and how we can truly heal justby looking at the stories that
(14:23):
we tell ourselves, as well asthe world.
So thank you for tuning in andhearing this episode.
Don't forget to follow alongand subscribe for more.
See you next time.
Be well.
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