June 23, 2025 • 29 mins
Anna continues her exploration of the Bhagavad Gita - a story that has quietly guided her through major pivots in her life. Reflecting on her own crossroads as a young mother and unfulfilled wife, Anna connects timeless spiritual teachings to the modern journey of self-discovery and purpose.
Drawing from Stephen Cope’s The Great Work of Your Life, she unpacks core lessons from the Gita: focusing on your actions rather than the outcomes, embracing your own Dharma over imitation, and building mental steadiness through spiritual practice.
Anna shares anecdotes about figures like Jane Goodall and Henry David Thoreau, who practiced their Dharma by staying committed to their work regardless of the outcome.
Whether you're seeking direction, navigating change, or simply curious about the intersection of ancient wisdom and modern life, this episode offers grounded insights and compassionate encouragement to help you reconnect with what truly matters.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hi everyone.
It's Anna McBride.
Welcome to she Asked.
Tools of Practical Hope.
This show explores topics ofgrowth, healing and recovery and
offers tips and guidelines tohelp you along your personal
journey.
On today's episode, this isreally part three of our series
(00:23):
on the Bhagavad Gita.
This has really been the storyof my life's journey, finding my
way to my purpose.
I first came across the storyback in college when I was
studying literature.
This is back in 1981.
And I didn't understand therole this story was going to
(00:46):
take in my life.
And yet it's become the guidingpost for what I am doing now.
It led me along the way eventhough I didn't even know it.
I actually have collectedseveral translations of the
story.
This story comes out of ancientIndia.
The Bhagavad Gita is the storyof the song, which is another
(01:08):
way of saying this conversationbetween man and God.
There are two main charactersin this story the warrior named
Arjuna and the charioteer, god,embodied in a human body whose
name was Krishna, and the two ofthem have a conversation about
this crisis that Arjuna isfacing, and it's really.
(01:32):
He was at a crossroads, he wasabout to embark on a battle like
many battles in his life, andhe didn't want to do it.
He didn't want to do the thingthat life was calling him to do,
and even though he was borninto this caste system that
India had of being born into therole that you play in life,
(01:56):
which was, for him, that of awarrior, he didn't want to kill
anybody anymore, because he knewthat everybody he was killing
was his family essentially, andso his conversation with God
began at that crossroads, atthat crisis, and when I came
back to this book, it was acouple decades later when I
(02:17):
first found it and it was givento me as a part of yoga
meditation training.
And as I read it the secondtime, I realized I know this
story.
I know it not only because I'veread it before.
I know it because I myself wasliving it.
The reason why I was gettinginto meditation and yoga was
because I myself was at acrossroads in my life.
(02:40):
I was in my early 30s, youngmother, in a marriage that was
not happy.
I was very unfulfilled and Ididn't know what to do Since I
was married and I thought thatwas one of my main purposes in
life was to be married as well,as the other purpose was to be a
(03:00):
mother and the fact that I wasso unhappy I didn't know what to
do.
My motivation was to run to cutand run.
That's what I did when I wasyoung.
I just would take off and leave.
Yet I had three young childrenunder the age of five, couldn't
(03:20):
do that.
I was married and unable toreally financially support
myself, so I couldn't leave that, or so I thought.
Yet this story came back intomy life and it offered me some
great direction around what Icould do, what I could better
understand of what to do aboutmy circumstances and my response
(03:43):
to it, so that I could see myway through it, grow through it
and become the better version ofme.
So today I want to talk aboutwhat this idea is of purpose.
You know, I have met manypeople in my life, in my work
life, that have asked me how doyou know what your purpose is?
Why are we here?
(04:03):
It's like the quintessentialthing of man, like why are we
here?
Or if we struggle to staycommitted to the path that we're
on.
If that sounds like you, thisteaching is for you.
We're drawing from one of myfavorite translations of the
Bhagavad Gita, and I havecollected many of them, but this
one has been one of myfavorites.
It's one by an author namedStephen Cope, and I have
collected many of them, but thisone has been one of my
(04:24):
favorites.
It's one by an author namedStephen Cope and it's called the
Great Work of your Life.
In this book, stephen talksabout not only the story of the
Bhagavad Gita.
He illustrates the themes of itthrough modern day protagonists
, which I'll share with you someof them.
And he gets to the main lessonsthat come from the Bhagavad
(04:44):
Gita, which I will also with yousome of them.
And he gets to the main lessonsthat come from the Bhagavad
Gita, which I will also coverwith you, because that's what
helped me unfold what I neededto know about myself.
First things, when Arjuna hasthis conversation with Krishna,
he says help me to know what todo.
I don't know what to do aboutwhat I'm going through.
(05:05):
And Krishna, or God, says tohim Of course you don't know
what to do because you don'tknow who you are.
When I read that part again, itjust was like a bunch of clarity
.
I didn't know who I was At theage of 34, I didn't know who I
was.
I only knew what I was doing.
(05:26):
I knew what to do to be a mom.
I kind of knew what to do to bea wife.
I knew what to be, you know,when it came to certain athletic
things that I really loved todo.
Yet I didn't know how to behappier with my circumstances,
and so Krishna goes abouttelling and showing Arjuna not
(05:49):
only who he is and why he'sthere, also what to do about it.
So let me tell you a little bitabout the Bhagavad Gita.
So it's an ancient story, as Isaid, that comes out of India.
This is in part in a historicalstory because it is based on a
(06:09):
greater text called theMahabharata, which is a story
about this war that took placein a town called Kodusheta Sorry
for that mispronunciationthat's in India, it's north of
New Delhi, and this war was overland.
That's all they fought aboutback then.
Pretty much was who wascontrolling the land, because
with the land you had power, andthere were two families that
(06:33):
were fighting over land, andArjuna was from one of those
families.
And as the battle was being setup, arjuna knew that he was one
of the best, if not the best,warrior of the time, known for
all of his great conquests.
He just didn't want to beresponsible for killing anybody
(06:53):
anymore.
And for me you know I canrelate to that there are many
things that I was doing at thetime when I came across the
story again that I was doing,that I didn't want to do.
I wanted to better understandwhat got me there and what to do
about it.
So Arjuna's crisis was a crisisof faith, confusion, fear, and
(07:17):
since he didn't know what to do,he was willing to do nothing.
And Krishna told him there isno nothing.
Even an inaction is an action,and life is really about action.
Now, stephen Cope wrote thisbook to bring this ancient story
into modern day context, andwhat I love about this
(07:38):
translation is he did it throughanecdotal sharing from some
great, well-known modern dayprotagonists in parts of their
stories that I had never heardbefore.
So it really brought to lifethese lessons in ways that only
the way that Stephen Cope sharedit was how it really was able
to resonate.
(07:59):
So let's get into these lessonsand start to shape it, and I'm
going to do it from a context ofthe quotes that the story is
most known for and the four mainthemes of the story.
So the first theme is focus onthe work, not the outcome, and
so the quote is you have theright to your work, but never to
(08:21):
the fruit of it.
What does that mean?
That means that we only havecontrol over what we choose to
do, not what happens as a resultof it.
Only what we do we have controlover, not what happens after
that.
So it's, for me, really helpedme to understand that I have to
(08:45):
choose what I'm doing with a bitmore clarity and I have to let
go of what happens after that.
And as somebody who had been apeople pleaser has been too
focused on what other peoplethink about me, I was too
focused on the outcome and notmy own behavior heading into any
(09:06):
situation.
So, for example, when I backthen in my 30s, I would attempt
to speak up for myself with myex-husband and it wouldn't come
out nice, it wasn't kind, itwasn't considerate, it was just
loud and it was like a screamtowards what I really wanted,
(09:27):
and it never turned out well.
Yet I only saw that I wasattempting to fight for my
rights.
I wasn't considering how I wasdoing it, and what this quote
says to me is that happiness orjoy needs to come from the
process, not what comes out ofthe process.
(09:48):
So I need to be happy with howI show up in any situation.
I need to be okay with mybehavior and let that be what I
focus on, not on what comes outof it, because I have no control
over other people, situations,outcomes and what I was doing.
(10:10):
In my marriage, I was clingingto the desire for it, meaning
the marriage to get better, yetI had no control over that.
I never once thought that I waspart of the problem.
I thought I was actuallyfighting for the solution and
instead all I was doing wasfighting, not helpful.
(10:31):
So here's a question for you Isthere anything that you're
clinging to the results of?
Do you over focus on theoutcome instead of, maybe, your
outlook, and in what ways?
Could you maybe shift a littlebit and own your part in
whatever is going on in yourlife?
If you detach from the outcomeand just commit to showing up,
(10:55):
it makes a big difference.
One of the characters whosestory he tells about this is
Jane Goodall.
I don't know if you're familiarwith her, but she is known as
the ape woman.
She was one of the first womenwho was able to travel over to
Africa and study apes.
(11:15):
She's really brought a lot ofgreat things forward about them
and their environment, and shegot to study them extensively
Still does.
We owe a lot to her for what weknow about the life of apes and
how they so much are likehumans.
Yet here's the thing about Jane.
(11:36):
Jane grew up knowing that allshe wanted to do was to
understand, appreciate and beconnected to animals, to these
living things, and she wasafforded the ability to do that
with the support of her mother.
Her mother recognized her giftsvery, very early, like at the
age of three.
There's a great story in thisbook of how Jane disappeared at
(12:00):
six years old and was foundhours later coming out of the
hen house that they had on thefarm, and her mother had been
looking for her for hours andinstead of raising her voice or
expressing fear, she just satand listened to Jane as she went
on and on and on about themagnificent experience she had
(12:21):
watching a chicken lay an egg.
I just love that story.
It really speaks to thecuriosity and the excitement,
because all Jane wanted to dowas to see the chicken lay an
egg, and she didn't even thinkabout the outcome or the effect
on her mother, and her motherdidn't make that the problem.
(12:41):
She just really helped Janeembrace her gifts.
So again, detaching from theoutcome and committing to just
fully showing up with what we'redoing and how we're showing up
in it, that is important corelesson that comes from this
story.
The next lesson is follow yourown dharma.
(13:04):
Follow your own dharma.
One of the quotes from theBhagavad Gita says it's better
to fail at your own dharma thanto succeed at the dharma of
another.
Don't live someone else's life.
You got to live your own.
In my life I didn't know who Iwas when I got married.
I was barely 21 years old, noteven like one month shy of that
(13:27):
birthday when I got married, andI hadn't graduated yet from
college.
I had an idea of what I wantedto do, but I didn't know it
fully, and I decided to justfollow in the footsteps of one
of my biggest mentors, which wasmy father.
He was a corporate educator inthe pharmaceutical world and I
(13:51):
decided to pursue corporateeducation.
I worked for an insurancecompany and got promoted because
I was great at communicationand had some great skill sets
relative to present.
They hired me based on myability to speak in front of a
crowd and I served in thiscapacity for a few years and yet
(14:16):
I was never successful at it.
I never really thought about isit what I wanted to do?
I basically chose it because itwas what my father did and he
was really good at it.
And when, if I think about thisquote, it's better to fail at
your own Dharma than to succeedat the Dharma of another.
It just reminds me that I can'tgo chasing what someone else
(14:39):
did and thinking that that'smine.
There's no copying.
You need to be the original you.
And one of the characters thatyou know that he illustrates
this through Stephen Cope in hisbook is Henry David Thoreau,
who's known for actually being adevotee to the Bhagavad Gita.
He carried the book around withhim in his life.
(15:02):
Henry David Thoreau wanted tobe a well-known writer.
Coming from Concord,massachusetts, he wanted to be a
well-known writer and took offat the very young age of, I
think, 26 years old, for NewYork City to strike it big,
because that's where you wentwhen you wanted to be a writer
(15:22):
back then.
And he took off and he triedand he failed miserably.
He barely got published.
He barely survived in terms ofbeing able to pay for his life
and he eventually had to go backhome and re-enter, invent
himself.
There was a pond near hisparents' home, he worked for a
(15:46):
bit in the factory for hisfather and he just continued to
write, and write, and write andhe eventually got published
towards the end of his life.
Some of the great works fromhis life were all about nature
and being in solitude and beingtrue to himself.
No real pressure there on thefarm for him and for me.
(16:11):
When I evolved in my life, Ihave attempted over and over
again to copy other people,thinking if I could just be like
them, I'll be successful.
It never worked out for me.
Them, I'll be successful.
It never worked out for me.
The only things, quite frankly,that I've ever succeeded at are
the things that I am reallygood at on my own.
(16:32):
And this idea of choosingauthenticity over imitation
Choose you.
When we are brave enough to dothat, even if it's messier, we
move forward and achieve theultimate idea of what Dharma is.
It's our gift, it's our purpose.
(16:54):
You know I've had many peopleask me how do you know what your
gifts are?
How do you know what yourpurpose is?
And the truth is?
Is that purpose?
There are many purposes we havein life.
As we live and grow, we'll comeacross many of them.
For me, it included being amother, included being a wife,
(17:17):
included being a sister, adaughter, included being a
therapist, a business owner.
So it's been many things.
Yet the real dharma how I couldbring that forward, to be of
service is when I reallyattended to what lit me up, what
got me excited.
(17:38):
How could I be of service doingwhat I love to do?
And me being here today sharingwith you about one of my
favorite stories of all time andhow it really helped me in my
life, is me being of service andbeing lit up, and it's a great,
great way for me to apply this.
(18:00):
The next lesson, lesson three,is about mental steadiness
through practice.
So the quote is the mind isunwavering like the flame of a
lamp in a windless place.
The mind is unwavering like theflame of a lamp in a windless
place.
That means that we have tosharpen our mind.
We have to not be controlled byit.
(18:22):
We need to instead be themaster of it.
So what we do on a daily basisto do that matters does matter.
To have stillness, meditation,reflection, all of these things,
journaling, because that's howwe begin to quiet the mind, slow
(18:42):
it down, so that it issomething that we aren't
manipulated by, it's somethingthat we're able to use and
incorporate to help us have thelife we want.
So a daily spiritual practiceas a compass for your life.
(19:02):
In my life, I started practicingmeditation and yoga in my 30s.
That was over 30 years ago, andI didn't understand what that
was going to do for me.
Yet I can tell you that backthen my mind was like a hamster
(19:23):
wheel.
My mind was constantly beinginvaded by negative thinking.
My mind was at the whim ofwhatever emotions that I
struggled to manage at the timemy life circumstances.
I just really saw my glasseshalf empty and that I was a
victim of circumstances.
(19:43):
That was only part of the story.
It wasn't all of it.
So in the Bhagavad Gita, krishnateaches Arjuna about the
powerful practice of yoga.
Yoga is a lifestyle, it is aspiritual practice.
It is a physical practice as weknow it now in the Western
(20:09):
world, but back then it was aspiritual practice, in a way to
stay connected to their God, andKrishna taught Arjuna about the
important role that yoga playsin quieting the mind.
In ancient India they used topractice yoga, as I understand
(20:31):
it, ahead of meditation, becauseback then the only people who
were allowed to go to schoolwere young boys.
As a mother of one son, who'snow an adult male, when he was
young and we're talking aboutboys around the ages of seven,
eight, nine he struggled to beable to sit still or be still,
(20:53):
and yoga was a way for theteachers to have the boys get
out their physicalrambunctiousness in order to sit
and be still for meditation.
So yoga prepares the mind formeditation.
That was the role of yoga.
Yoga is also full of manylessons, and they call it the
(21:14):
eight-limb path of yoga on howto live your life according to
the way God had wanted them tolive.
And as I describe this, I don'twant you to think of or to be
put off by necessarily thespiritual part of this, yet see
it as an opportunity that, ifyou feel called to yoga, if you
(21:35):
are really drawn to want toexpand a spiritual program, yoga
has a lot of benefits.
I taught yoga and meditationmyself as a part of a business
that I owned, a yoga meditationstudio for about 15 to 20 years,
and it really was quite anopportunity to understand the
(21:57):
role it was helping me in movingthrough what was happening in
my life.
I didn't understand that it wasalso helping me understand
better my gifts, my talents,what was right in front of me.
In order to process that andget the good from it, like the
lesson from it, I had to find away to move through it.
(22:19):
Yoga is a better way to movethrough things than fighting,
than running away, than avoiding.
It was an action that became away for me to be more present,
which is really important,because this lesson is all about
quieting the mind so you canshow up presently in your life.
(22:40):
Part of what Krishna wasteaching Arjuna was that you
can't know who you are withoutbeing present at this moment.
Don't worry about what's comingnext, don't think about what's
happened before.
Be here now.
And the last lesson of thisgreat story is acting with
(23:01):
detachment from the outcomeReally being detached Now.
What does that mean?
Does that mean not caring?
No, the quote is perform yourduty and abandon all attachment
to success or failure.
So you do it as your duty iswhat Krishna was telling Arjuna
(23:22):
Do not think about what you'reabout to do.
Is I going to be successful orI might fail.
Just think of it as what youare meant to do.
So when you do your dharma, youdo it full out and you do it
without attachment to theoutcome, meaning success or
failure and you do it as adevotion to yourself, to your
(23:43):
life, to achieving something.
It may be a little abstract.
I know that most of us here, aswe listen to this, may be
thinking well, why would I bedoing something if I'm not
thinking about how I'm going tobe successful in it, if I'm not
thinking about what I'm going toget out of it?
(24:04):
Well, this story has taught meto let go of approval, let go of
outcome, and to just show upwith devotion that I am doing
this because it is what I'mmeant to do.
It's what makes me happy.
It's me being of service.
It makes me happy.
(24:58):
It's me being of service.
I've come to believe andunderstand that why we are all
here not taking care of me, butshe's taking care of everybody
else.
In this country, we don't reallyunderstand that there are many,
many, many people around theworld that are less fortunate
and that if we can be of help,that's what we are meant to do,
and my father used to say towhom much is given, much is
(25:19):
expected.
So I was raised in a familywhere purpose, duty, service,
was sort of at the forefront.
However, here I was back in my30s, thinking I just need to
figure out how to fix thismarriage, get out of this
marriage, get on with my lifeand be happy.
And here I am three decadeslater I am divorced, yet I
(25:45):
continue to be a mother.
I love being a mother and Ialso have found my way to take
my mess and turn it into amessage where I can help other
people find their way, findtheir purpose and find ways of
being of service to help otherpeople find their way.
(26:07):
So here are some things I wantyou to think about when you
think about the story of theBhagavad Gita is you know,
what's one thing that you dothat makes you feel most alive?
What lights you up?
If you want to know what yourpurpose is, just think about
what lights you up.
What do you enjoy doing?
If you are lucky to do for worksomething that you enjoy doing,
(26:29):
then that's added bonus.
You get paid for what you loveto do, but sometimes what we
love to do isn't what we getpaid for.
It may be something that we doas a side hustle or that we do
as a hobby, and then I want youto also think about where you
might be living.
(26:49):
Someone else's script, someoneelse's dharma, or according to
someone else's script.
In my case, I was attempting tobecome the corporate educator
that my father was.
I knew I was meant to be ateacher.
I know now that I was nevermeant to be a corporate educator
(27:10):
.
Then I want you to ask yourselfwhat am I afraid to start
because I have a fear of failing?
Do you focus a lot on onlydoing what you think you'll be
successful at?
If failure was not even a partof the equation, what would you
be doing now?
When I remove the fear offailure, it gives me a lot of
(27:33):
freedom for my creativeexpression and the ways I can be
of service, and I want toencourage you to write down your
current sense of Dharma andchoose one action that you're
going to take this week that'sgoing to help you become more
purposeful, more alive, moredriven towards service.
(27:56):
Remember, your dharma is notsomething that you chase.
It's something that youremember as you get to know
yourself on a deeper level.
You will come to know yourDharma in a more personal way.
So, again, the four Gita quotesthat we focused on was you're
entitled to the work, not thefruit of the work, and to follow
(28:19):
your own Dharma, meaning it'sbetter to fail at it than to
attempt to copy someone else.
And your mental steadinessthrough meditation, through yoga
, is the way that you achieveyour understanding and
appreciation of why you're herein life, and your steadiness and
the courage to move forwardwith it.
(28:40):
And, lastly, let's let go ofthis labeling of success or
failure.
Let's just become moreaction-oriented towards what
lights us up, because the worldneeds more light, it needs more
people full of light, and thisis why I'm here encouraging you
(29:03):
to do the same.
I want to let you know that wehave put together a Dharma
reflection journal, and so therewill be access to that through
a link, and so look to that.
Please subscribe to thispodcast or the channel and
download that reflection journaland reach out.
I want to hear from you whatyou've come to appreciate or
(29:24):
know about what your dharma isor what you're doing to be of
service to the world.
My name is Anna McBride andthis is she Asked, the podcast
where we provide practical hopeto help you along your personal
journey.
I hope you've enjoyed thisdiscussion about the Bhagavad
Gita, my favorite story ever.
(29:45):
It changed my life and I hopeit will help you change yours as
well.
Until soon, be well.
Hi everyone.
It's Anna McBride.
Welcome to she Asked.
Tools of Practical Hope.
This show explores topics ofgrowth, healing and recovery and
offers tips and guidelines tohelp you along your personal
journey.
On today's episode, this isreally part three of our series
(00:23):
on the Bhagavad Gita.
This has really been the storyof my life's journey, finding my
way to my purpose.
I first came across the storyback in college when I was
studying literature.
This is back in 1981.
And I didn't understand therole this story was going to
(00:46):
take in my life.
And yet it's become the guidingpost for what I am doing now.
It led me along the way eventhough I didn't even know it.
I actually have collectedseveral translations of the
story.
This story comes out of ancientIndia.
The Bhagavad Gita is the storyof the song, which is another
(01:08):
way of saying this conversationbetween man and God.
There are two main charactersin this story the warrior named
Arjuna and the charioteer, god,embodied in a human body whose
name was Krishna, and the two ofthem have a conversation about
this crisis that Arjuna isfacing, and it's really.
(01:32):
He was at a crossroads, he wasabout to embark on a battle like
many battles in his life, andhe didn't want to do it.
He didn't want to do the thingthat life was calling him to do,
and even though he was borninto this caste system that
India had of being born into therole that you play in life,
(01:56):
which was, for him, that of awarrior, he didn't want to kill
anybody anymore, because he knewthat everybody he was killing
was his family essentially, andso his conversation with God
began at that crossroads, atthat crisis, and when I came
back to this book, it was acouple decades later when I
(02:17):
first found it and it was givento me as a part of yoga
meditation training.
And as I read it the secondtime, I realized I know this
story.
I know it not only because I'veread it before.
I know it because I myself wasliving it.
The reason why I was gettinginto meditation and yoga was
because I myself was at acrossroads in my life.
(02:40):
I was in my early 30s, youngmother, in a marriage that was
not happy.
I was very unfulfilled and Ididn't know what to do Since I
was married and I thought thatwas one of my main purposes in
life was to be married as well,as the other purpose was to be a
(03:00):
mother and the fact that I wasso unhappy I didn't know what to
do.
My motivation was to run to cutand run.
That's what I did when I wasyoung.
I just would take off and leave.
Yet I had three young childrenunder the age of five, couldn't
(03:20):
do that.
I was married and unable toreally financially support
myself, so I couldn't leave that, or so I thought.
Yet this story came back intomy life and it offered me some
great direction around what Icould do, what I could better
understand of what to do aboutmy circumstances and my response
(03:43):
to it, so that I could see myway through it, grow through it
and become the better version ofme.
So today I want to talk aboutwhat this idea is of purpose.
You know, I have met manypeople in my life, in my work
life, that have asked me how doyou know what your purpose is?
Why are we here?
(04:03):
It's like the quintessentialthing of man, like why are we
here?
Or if we struggle to staycommitted to the path that we're
on.
If that sounds like you, thisteaching is for you.
We're drawing from one of myfavorite translations of the
Bhagavad Gita, and I havecollected many of them, but this
one has been one of myfavorites.
It's one by an author namedStephen Cope, and I have
collected many of them, but thisone has been one of my
(04:24):
favorites.
It's one by an author namedStephen Cope and it's called the
Great Work of your Life.
In this book, stephen talksabout not only the story of the
Bhagavad Gita.
He illustrates the themes of itthrough modern day protagonists
, which I'll share with you someof them.
And he gets to the main lessonsthat come from the Bhagavad
(04:44):
Gita, which I will also with yousome of them.
And he gets to the main lessonsthat come from the Bhagavad
Gita, which I will also coverwith you, because that's what
helped me unfold what I neededto know about myself.
First things, when Arjuna hasthis conversation with Krishna,
he says help me to know what todo.
I don't know what to do aboutwhat I'm going through.
(05:05):
And Krishna, or God, says tohim Of course you don't know
what to do because you don'tknow who you are.
When I read that part again, itjust was like a bunch of clarity
.
I didn't know who I was At theage of 34, I didn't know who I
was.
I only knew what I was doing.
(05:26):
I knew what to do to be a mom.
I kind of knew what to do to bea wife.
I knew what to be, you know,when it came to certain athletic
things that I really loved todo.
Yet I didn't know how to behappier with my circumstances,
and so Krishna goes abouttelling and showing Arjuna not
(05:49):
only who he is and why he'sthere, also what to do about it.
So let me tell you a little bitabout the Bhagavad Gita.
So it's an ancient story, as Isaid, that comes out of India.
This is in part in a historicalstory because it is based on a
(06:09):
greater text called theMahabharata, which is a story
about this war that took placein a town called Kodusheta Sorry
for that mispronunciationthat's in India, it's north of
New Delhi, and this war was overland.
That's all they fought aboutback then.
Pretty much was who wascontrolling the land, because
with the land you had power, andthere were two families that
(06:33):
were fighting over land, andArjuna was from one of those
families.
And as the battle was being setup, arjuna knew that he was one
of the best, if not the best,warrior of the time, known for
all of his great conquests.
He just didn't want to beresponsible for killing anybody
(06:53):
anymore.
And for me you know I canrelate to that there are many
things that I was doing at thetime when I came across the
story again that I was doing,that I didn't want to do.
I wanted to better understandwhat got me there and what to do
about it.
So Arjuna's crisis was a crisisof faith, confusion, fear, and
(07:17):
since he didn't know what to do,he was willing to do nothing.
And Krishna told him there isno nothing.
Even an inaction is an action,and life is really about action.
Now, stephen Cope wrote thisbook to bring this ancient story
into modern day context, andwhat I love about this
(07:38):
translation is he did it throughanecdotal sharing from some
great, well-known modern dayprotagonists in parts of their
stories that I had never heardbefore.
So it really brought to lifethese lessons in ways that only
the way that Stephen Cope sharedit was how it really was able
to resonate.
(07:59):
So let's get into these lessonsand start to shape it, and I'm
going to do it from a context ofthe quotes that the story is
most known for and the four mainthemes of the story.
So the first theme is focus onthe work, not the outcome, and
so the quote is you have theright to your work, but never to
(08:21):
the fruit of it.
What does that mean?
That means that we only havecontrol over what we choose to
do, not what happens as a resultof it.
Only what we do we have controlover, not what happens after
that.
So it's, for me, really helpedme to understand that I have to
(08:45):
choose what I'm doing with a bitmore clarity and I have to let
go of what happens after that.
And as somebody who had been apeople pleaser has been too
focused on what other peoplethink about me, I was too
focused on the outcome and notmy own behavior heading into any
(09:06):
situation.
So, for example, when I backthen in my 30s, I would attempt
to speak up for myself with myex-husband and it wouldn't come
out nice, it wasn't kind, itwasn't considerate, it was just
loud and it was like a screamtowards what I really wanted,
(09:27):
and it never turned out well.
Yet I only saw that I wasattempting to fight for my
rights.
I wasn't considering how I wasdoing it, and what this quote
says to me is that happiness orjoy needs to come from the
process, not what comes out ofthe process.
(09:48):
So I need to be happy with howI show up in any situation.
I need to be okay with mybehavior and let that be what I
focus on, not on what comes outof it, because I have no control
over other people, situations,outcomes and what I was doing.
(10:10):
In my marriage, I was clingingto the desire for it, meaning
the marriage to get better, yetI had no control over that.
I never once thought that I waspart of the problem.
I thought I was actuallyfighting for the solution and
instead all I was doing wasfighting, not helpful.
(10:31):
So here's a question for you Isthere anything that you're
clinging to the results of?
Do you over focus on theoutcome instead of, maybe, your
outlook, and in what ways?
Could you maybe shift a littlebit and own your part in
whatever is going on in yourlife?
If you detach from the outcomeand just commit to showing up,
(10:55):
it makes a big difference.
One of the characters whosestory he tells about this is
Jane Goodall.
I don't know if you're familiarwith her, but she is known as
the ape woman.
She was one of the first womenwho was able to travel over to
Africa and study apes.
(11:15):
She's really brought a lot ofgreat things forward about them
and their environment, and shegot to study them extensively
Still does.
We owe a lot to her for what weknow about the life of apes and
how they so much are likehumans.
Yet here's the thing about Jane.
(11:36):
Jane grew up knowing that allshe wanted to do was to
understand, appreciate and beconnected to animals, to these
living things, and she wasafforded the ability to do that
with the support of her mother.
Her mother recognized her giftsvery, very early, like at the
age of three.
There's a great story in thisbook of how Jane disappeared at
(12:00):
six years old and was foundhours later coming out of the
hen house that they had on thefarm, and her mother had been
looking for her for hours andinstead of raising her voice or
expressing fear, she just satand listened to Jane as she went
on and on and on about themagnificent experience she had
(12:21):
watching a chicken lay an egg.
I just love that story.
It really speaks to thecuriosity and the excitement,
because all Jane wanted to dowas to see the chicken lay an
egg, and she didn't even thinkabout the outcome or the effect
on her mother, and her motherdidn't make that the problem.
(12:41):
She just really helped Janeembrace her gifts.
So again, detaching from theoutcome and committing to just
fully showing up with what we'redoing and how we're showing up
in it, that is important corelesson that comes from this
story.
The next lesson is follow yourown dharma.
(13:04):
Follow your own dharma.
One of the quotes from theBhagavad Gita says it's better
to fail at your own dharma thanto succeed at the dharma of
another.
Don't live someone else's life.
You got to live your own.
In my life I didn't know who Iwas when I got married.
I was barely 21 years old, noteven like one month shy of that
(13:27):
birthday when I got married, andI hadn't graduated yet from
college.
I had an idea of what I wantedto do, but I didn't know it
fully, and I decided to justfollow in the footsteps of one
of my biggest mentors, which wasmy father.
He was a corporate educator inthe pharmaceutical world and I
(13:51):
decided to pursue corporateeducation.
I worked for an insurancecompany and got promoted because
I was great at communicationand had some great skill sets
relative to present.
They hired me based on myability to speak in front of a
crowd and I served in thiscapacity for a few years and yet
(14:16):
I was never successful at it.
I never really thought about isit what I wanted to do?
I basically chose it because itwas what my father did and he
was really good at it.
And when, if I think about thisquote, it's better to fail at
your own Dharma than to succeedat the Dharma of another.
It just reminds me that I can'tgo chasing what someone else
(14:39):
did and thinking that that'smine.
There's no copying.
You need to be the original you.
And one of the characters thatyou know that he illustrates
this through Stephen Cope in hisbook is Henry David Thoreau,
who's known for actually being adevotee to the Bhagavad Gita.
He carried the book around withhim in his life.
(15:02):
Henry David Thoreau wanted tobe a well-known writer.
Coming from Concord,massachusetts, he wanted to be a
well-known writer and took offat the very young age of, I
think, 26 years old, for NewYork City to strike it big,
because that's where you wentwhen you wanted to be a writer
(15:22):
back then.
And he took off and he triedand he failed miserably.
He barely got published.
He barely survived in terms ofbeing able to pay for his life
and he eventually had to go backhome and re-enter, invent
himself.
There was a pond near hisparents' home, he worked for a
(15:46):
bit in the factory for hisfather and he just continued to
write, and write, and write andhe eventually got published
towards the end of his life.
Some of the great works fromhis life were all about nature
and being in solitude and beingtrue to himself.
No real pressure there on thefarm for him and for me.
(16:11):
When I evolved in my life, Ihave attempted over and over
again to copy other people,thinking if I could just be like
them, I'll be successful.
It never worked out for me.
Them, I'll be successful.
It never worked out for me.
The only things, quite frankly,that I've ever succeeded at are
the things that I am reallygood at on my own.
(16:32):
And this idea of choosingauthenticity over imitation
Choose you.
When we are brave enough to dothat, even if it's messier, we
move forward and achieve theultimate idea of what Dharma is.
It's our gift, it's our purpose.
(16:54):
You know I've had many peopleask me how do you know what your
gifts are?
How do you know what yourpurpose is?
And the truth is?
Is that purpose?
There are many purposes we havein life.
As we live and grow, we'll comeacross many of them.
For me, it included being amother, included being a wife,
(17:17):
included being a sister, adaughter, included being a
therapist, a business owner.
So it's been many things.
Yet the real dharma how I couldbring that forward, to be of
service is when I reallyattended to what lit me up, what
got me excited.
(17:38):
How could I be of service doingwhat I love to do?
And me being here today sharingwith you about one of my
favorite stories of all time andhow it really helped me in my
life, is me being of service andbeing lit up, and it's a great,
great way for me to apply this.
(18:00):
The next lesson, lesson three,is about mental steadiness
through practice.
So the quote is the mind isunwavering like the flame of a
lamp in a windless place.
The mind is unwavering like theflame of a lamp in a windless
place.
That means that we have tosharpen our mind.
We have to not be controlled byit.
(18:22):
We need to instead be themaster of it.
So what we do on a daily basisto do that matters does matter.
To have stillness, meditation,reflection, all of these things,
journaling, because that's howwe begin to quiet the mind, slow
(18:42):
it down, so that it issomething that we aren't
manipulated by, it's somethingthat we're able to use and
incorporate to help us have thelife we want.
So a daily spiritual practiceas a compass for your life.
(19:02):
In my life, I started practicingmeditation and yoga in my 30s.
That was over 30 years ago, andI didn't understand what that
was going to do for me.
Yet I can tell you that backthen my mind was like a hamster
(19:23):
wheel.
My mind was constantly beinginvaded by negative thinking.
My mind was at the whim ofwhatever emotions that I
struggled to manage at the timemy life circumstances.
I just really saw my glasseshalf empty and that I was a
victim of circumstances.
(19:43):
That was only part of the story.
It wasn't all of it.
So in the Bhagavad Gita, krishnateaches Arjuna about the
powerful practice of yoga.
Yoga is a lifestyle, it is aspiritual practice.
It is a physical practice as weknow it now in the Western
(20:09):
world, but back then it was aspiritual practice, in a way to
stay connected to their God, andKrishna taught Arjuna about the
important role that yoga playsin quieting the mind.
In ancient India they used topractice yoga, as I understand
(20:31):
it, ahead of meditation, becauseback then the only people who
were allowed to go to schoolwere young boys.
As a mother of one son, who'snow an adult male, when he was
young and we're talking aboutboys around the ages of seven,
eight, nine he struggled to beable to sit still or be still,
(20:53):
and yoga was a way for theteachers to have the boys get
out their physicalrambunctiousness in order to sit
and be still for meditation.
So yoga prepares the mind formeditation.
That was the role of yoga.
Yoga is also full of manylessons, and they call it the
(21:14):
eight-limb path of yoga on howto live your life according to
the way God had wanted them tolive.
And as I describe this, I don'twant you to think of or to be
put off by necessarily thespiritual part of this, yet see
it as an opportunity that, ifyou feel called to yoga, if you
(21:35):
are really drawn to want toexpand a spiritual program, yoga
has a lot of benefits.
I taught yoga and meditationmyself as a part of a business
that I owned, a yoga meditationstudio for about 15 to 20 years,
and it really was quite anopportunity to understand the
(21:57):
role it was helping me in movingthrough what was happening in
my life.
I didn't understand that it wasalso helping me understand
better my gifts, my talents,what was right in front of me.
In order to process that andget the good from it, like the
lesson from it, I had to find away to move through it.
(22:19):
Yoga is a better way to movethrough things than fighting,
than running away, than avoiding.
It was an action that became away for me to be more present,
which is really important,because this lesson is all about
quieting the mind so you canshow up presently in your life.
(22:40):
Part of what Krishna wasteaching Arjuna was that you
can't know who you are withoutbeing present at this moment.
Don't worry about what's comingnext, don't think about what's
happened before.
Be here now.
And the last lesson of thisgreat story is acting with
(23:01):
detachment from the outcomeReally being detached Now.
What does that mean?
Does that mean not caring?
No, the quote is perform yourduty and abandon all attachment
to success or failure.
So you do it as your duty iswhat Krishna was telling Arjuna
(23:22):
Do not think about what you'reabout to do.
Is I going to be successful orI might fail.
Just think of it as what youare meant to do.
So when you do your dharma, youdo it full out and you do it
without attachment to theoutcome, meaning success or
failure and you do it as adevotion to yourself, to your
(23:43):
life, to achieving something.
It may be a little abstract.
I know that most of us here, aswe listen to this, may be
thinking well, why would I bedoing something if I'm not
thinking about how I'm going tobe successful in it, if I'm not
thinking about what I'm going toget out of it?
(24:04):
Well, this story has taught meto let go of approval, let go of
outcome, and to just show upwith devotion that I am doing
this because it is what I'mmeant to do.
It's what makes me happy.
It's me being of service.
It makes me happy.
(24:58):
It's me being of service.
I've come to believe andunderstand that why we are all
here not taking care of me, butshe's taking care of everybody
else.
In this country, we don't reallyunderstand that there are many,
many, many people around theworld that are less fortunate
and that if we can be of help,that's what we are meant to do,
and my father used to say towhom much is given, much is
(25:19):
expected.
So I was raised in a familywhere purpose, duty, service,
was sort of at the forefront.
However, here I was back in my30s, thinking I just need to
figure out how to fix thismarriage, get out of this
marriage, get on with my lifeand be happy.
And here I am three decadeslater I am divorced, yet I
(25:45):
continue to be a mother.
I love being a mother and Ialso have found my way to take
my mess and turn it into amessage where I can help other
people find their way, findtheir purpose and find ways of
being of service to help otherpeople find their way.
(26:07):
So here are some things I wantyou to think about when you
think about the story of theBhagavad Gita is you know,
what's one thing that you dothat makes you feel most alive?
What lights you up?
If you want to know what yourpurpose is, just think about
what lights you up.
What do you enjoy doing?
If you are lucky to do for worksomething that you enjoy doing,
(26:29):
then that's added bonus.
You get paid for what you loveto do, but sometimes what we
love to do isn't what we getpaid for.
It may be something that we doas a side hustle or that we do
as a hobby, and then I want youto also think about where you
might be living.
(26:49):
Someone else's script, someoneelse's dharma, or according to
someone else's script.
In my case, I was attempting tobecome the corporate educator
that my father was.
I knew I was meant to be ateacher.
I know now that I was nevermeant to be a corporate educator
(27:10):
.
Then I want you to ask yourselfwhat am I afraid to start
because I have a fear of failing?
Do you focus a lot on onlydoing what you think you'll be
successful at?
If failure was not even a partof the equation, what would you
be doing now?
When I remove the fear offailure, it gives me a lot of
(27:33):
freedom for my creativeexpression and the ways I can be
of service, and I want toencourage you to write down your
current sense of Dharma andchoose one action that you're
going to take this week that'sgoing to help you become more
purposeful, more alive, moredriven towards service.
(27:56):
Remember, your dharma is notsomething that you chase.
It's something that youremember as you get to know
yourself on a deeper level.
You will come to know yourDharma in a more personal way.
So, again, the four Gita quotesthat we focused on was you're
entitled to the work, not thefruit of the work, and to follow
(28:19):
your own Dharma, meaning it'sbetter to fail at it than to
attempt to copy someone else.
And your mental steadinessthrough meditation, through yoga
, is the way that you achieveyour understanding and
appreciation of why you're herein life, and your steadiness and
the courage to move forwardwith it.
(28:40):
And, lastly, let's let go ofthis labeling of success or
failure.
Let's just become moreaction-oriented towards what
lights us up, because the worldneeds more light, it needs more
people full of light, and thisis why I'm here encouraging you
(29:03):
to do the same.
I want to let you know that wehave put together a Dharma
reflection journal, and so therewill be access to that through
a link, and so look to that.
Please subscribe to thispodcast or the channel and
download that reflection journaland reach out.
I want to hear from you whatyou've come to appreciate or
(29:24):
know about what your dharma isor what you're doing to be of
service to the world.
My name is Anna McBride andthis is she Asked, the podcast
where we provide practical hopeto help you along your personal
journey.
I hope you've enjoyed thisdiscussion about the Bhagavad
Gita, my favorite story ever.
(29:45):
It changed my life and I hopeit will help you change yours as
well.
Until soon, be well.
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