October 1, 2025 • 36 mins
We're unpacking our worst breakups on todays pod.
From cheating to pregnancy to stalkers, it's all on the table here.
Cal's been seeing a psychologist and learning some valuable tools to get through, meanwhile Skye's recapping her wildest moments in her relationship.
LINKS
- Follow @skye.wheatley on Instagram
- Follow @cal.davee on Instagram
- Follow @skyeandcallumpodcast on Instagram
- Follow @novapodcastsofficial on Instagram
- Email us HERE - skyeandcallum@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Hosts: Skye Wheatley and Callum Hole
Executive Producer: Rachael Hart
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Nova Entertainment acknowledges the traditional custodians of the land on which we produce our podcasts, the Gadigal People of the Eora Nation. We pay our respect to Elders past and present.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This podcast was recorded on Budge lung Land and produced
in Numb.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
All right, we're on.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
Bring all right, guys, welcome back to the podcast. Today's episode,
we're going to be talking all things breakups.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
All right.
Speaker 4 (00:17):
Actually have a really traumatic breakup story that I'm going
to share with you guys, so buckle.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
In hit me with it.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
I think it might have been maybe because it's the
most recent, but my worst breakup would have been with
my ex cam before Lockie. But it was because basically
we felt pregnant and I really wanted to keep the baby.
Like I was like so ready, and I was like,
(00:44):
are you ready to step up? Because we were kind
of like on and off, on and off again, like
it was it was. We weren't. I wouldn't say we
were like toxic, but we did break up for a
very long period of time and then get back together.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
How long is a long period of time?
Speaker 4 (00:58):
Maybe like a good two months. Yeah, So we'd gotten
back together a few times and then that had happened,
and then I was like and he seemed quite serious too,
and he's like, yeah, yeah, we'll rent somewhere, we'll move
in together because he lived in Brisbane and I lived
on the Gold Coast, so we didn't we weren't living together,
but he was like, yeah, yeah, we'll move in. We
(01:19):
can do this d D. And one night he went
out and was just like not answering my calls, just
fully barring me, and I think he did it a
couple of times, and then yeah, I was just like,
you know what, You're not gonna fucking take this seriously.
If you're doing shit like this now, you are not
ready to be a dad and I'm not ready to
(01:41):
have a partner that's going to do that to me.
So I was like, Nah, my mom called his mom.
They had a really mature chat and they were like,
I think it's best if we terminate. So I did
have a termination. I mean, obviously it's really sad and
it's heartbreaking and it's never a nice thing to go through.
But looking back, I'm like, imagine how different my life
(02:04):
would be if I didn't do that. I'm so thankful
of how my life has turned out.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Yeah, of course, you know, And I feel like everything
happens for a reason.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
You know me too, I'm a big believer on that.
And I remember being so just heartbroken and I was
in pain, like I was in fetal position, just balling
my eyes out, could barely breathe, like the break was yeah,
like my lungs were hurting. I think that's why I
have such a fear of it, because I'm like that
(02:33):
pain is like undescribable, and.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
It's they're the worst.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
I feel like breakups are worse than death, yeah, because
I feel like with death you can't control it, right,
Like you grieve, but you can't.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
It's yeah, yeah, it's closure.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Closure.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
You grieve, but like you can't do anything you can
only the only option is to like you know, move
forward and try to get past it. Whereas like when
you go through a breakup, your emotions are just like
sway and back and forth, Like if I made the
right decision, shall I go back? Do I miss her?
Am I just DOINGX is comfortable? Like she canna be
the right one for me? Or am I just set
in like all these soult school for your head and
they can literally consume your brain.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
Absolutely No. But once I got through that pain and
that that heartache, I never looked back. I was like,
that was the right decision one hundred percent, and my
life just got better. And then how's this? I met
a girl that he dated after me, who was who
followed me on Instagram? And I asked her one night
when I saw her out, because we're like friendly with
(03:33):
each other.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Why are you friendly with all these girls boyfriends care?
Speaker 4 (03:38):
I don't care. I'm like, I really don't care, like mud.
But we weren't friends at the time, Like, I didn't
know who she was. She just followed me, so it's
not like we were friends or anything. She's got no
loyalty to me. If she meets a guy that I
was dating and she was following me, no for a
girl I don't know her anyway. I saw her out
(03:58):
one time because we have become friendly, and I asked
her and Mike was cam ever, Oh fuck, maybe I
shouldn't say his name?
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Yeah, who cares? Okay, can't help you tune in?
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Brother?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (04:13):
I asked her and Mike, was he ever like talking
to you when he was with me sort of thing?
Or did you see him when he was with me?
And she was kind of like yeah. So I'm like, Okay,
fucking man, that my life panned out to be how
it was, like, Yeah, everything happens for a reason, and
I believe the universe is looking out for all of us.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Yeah, exactly if you do well, like the universe will
like help you, Calma.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
Yeah, absolutely, yeah I believe that. Okay, what about you.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Oh, I've gone through the most. The most recent breakup
I've gone through has been the hardest. Like I've had
a few breakups in my time, and usually honestly, I'm
not bothered, Like I'm not bothering. I'm like it's having
for a reason, Like I'll use this energy now to
put into my training, put into like feeling good, like business.
Everything goes like through the roof when I go through
(05:03):
a breakup because I channeled that energy into good things, right,
But this one, I don't know what it is, but
like it was like the hardest like three weeks of
my life, Like actual, wait.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Why did you decide to Because it.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
Was just like toxic and it's like back and forth,
back and forth, and it was just like you know what,
I can't I can't keep going through this toxic cycle.
Like something needs to give and I need to stop it. Right,
So I actually even start a psychologist for the first time.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
Yeah, maybe you guys should go together.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Yeah, because I was just like I wanted to know why,
why these patterns keep occurring, like what's going on?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (05:43):
And like I was a bit like, I don't know
when I use the word psychologists. So I'm seeing psycholist reever.
I'm just like whatever. I just give fixed your on head,
Like yeah, I'm just like whatever. But when I was
in Fiji, we actually get given psychologists that we have
to see as part of our show, right, And so
I went, yeah, yeah, it is the host able to
(06:05):
be do hosted, you know what I mean? And so
I spoke to a how to chat with a psychologists
and I tell you what, it was the best conversation
I've ever had. And I think it's because the psychologists
will if you if you're open and honest with the
psychologists not just saying like their flaws, but saying your
flaws as well, they can have a neutral standpoint and
just advise you and tell you why that person's doing
(06:27):
that and why you're doing this as and then you
can really dive into your behavior patterns and work out like, Okay,
if this is going to work, I need to stop
doing this and she needs to stop doing this, right Yeah,
And so I took her advice on board and I
went three weeks no conduct, which is hard, right, no contact.
I was like, I'm not going to rush back into
(06:48):
this because I know it would be like a toxic
cycle again. So I sat in like the most uncomfortable
like the silence.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
Yeah, she actually maybe felt like.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
This is it, Yeah, this is it. I'm like, this
is the I need to move on.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
I'm going to put all my effort into training, like business, everything,
and like things have been going good. Like I've been
on upward trajection now with everything, which is good. And
I didn't rush back straight away, which is also good
because that's why I normally would do and usually I
would fill avoid as well, and I haven't done any
of that, right, I've just been like sat in my
own uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, and I feel like that's
where you get like introspect, you know. And like I've
(07:22):
started talking to it again now and like things are
just like so much better.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Hence the flowers.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
Wait, so with the psychologist did she say did she
recommend that you just like stop?
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Yeah? Yeah. The psychologists is.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Like, if to show what behavior you want to yeah, yeah,
so she's basically she basically said that like if you
keep just going running back once you've had like a
fight or a breakup whatever, and you run back within
two or three days, you're not fixing anything because you're
not being able to feel your emotions.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
You're not able to think logically because you're so heightened
with your emotions. And a lot of people just run
back because it's comfortable and familiar, but nothing actually gets resolved.
If you don't rush back and spend time by yourself
alone with your uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, then you can
think logically and then how you want to move forward.
And that's what I did. I just sat and I
(08:11):
was like, if I want to make this work, I
need to like actually have proper conversations about the matter
rather than just like putting band aids on it every
time we break up and then like it just keeps
falling off.
Speaker 4 (08:21):
Or just bringing up the past, so you just continue
to fight. This is what I've said to Locky so
many times. I'm like, Babe, like I would just love
to have a proper break like that. We've had quite
a lot of like breaks here and there, but they're
only the longest one lasted like two weeks. And I say, no, no, like,
why don't we try and like fully have a good break, yeah,
(08:44):
like six months or something, and he's like, Noah, that's it,
I'm done. If we do that, then that's a break.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Is a long time.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
Okay, maybe not six months, but like whatever, a decent break.
And I think in his mind he thinks like, no,
it's over, and once he's done, he's done. But I'm like, no,
I feel like it could be really good for us
and like maybe we would appreciate each other so much more.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Yeah. Well, they say, withdrawal mix the heart grow fonder.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Yeah, absolutely, and like everything even in three weeks for me,
like it felt like a lifetime. But then like once
we like reconnected, it's like so much better now. Like
it's because they're clear with our intentions and talk about
things that are going wrong, and we spoke about ways
that we can be better for each other, you know, And.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
I feel like Lockie's pretty good at that, like respecting
my boundaries. Like we actually did do couples counseling, and
I really like it's such a funny story, right because
the school was having problems with forest and we had
to get in touch with this this place who looks
after children. So it was a pediatric psychologist or they
(09:50):
whatever they I don't know what they're called pediatric, like
the no No babies or their young children babies and
young children pediatric. Anyway, So we got on the phone
one day, Locking Andie because we were trying to book
an appointment for Forest. Anyway, he starts going at me
on the phone and I'm like, oh my god, and
(10:11):
then all our problems are just like we're laying you're
piling up, We're laying it onto this pediatrician psychologist who's
trying to get a booking for our son. And she goes, right, Okay,
I think you guys need to come in and see
me because it starts with your behavior. Like Forest and
the kids and the boys are learning off YouTube, so
(10:32):
we're going to start with you guys. So we went
in there one day and we sat there and he
was just like, she's done this, she's done that, She's
done this, this, this and this and this and this
and this and this, and I just sat there, I'm like, yeah,
this is what happens. Like he does get quite upset
with me and he brings up a lot of things
that have happened in the past, and she just sat back,
and she said, Okay, right, she's doing those things because
(10:54):
of her own problems and issues, but the way that
you're reacting is your choice and you need to work.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
On that, yeah, because that's adding fuel to the fire.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
But like, I'm doing things that you know are disrespectful
or hurtful to another person because I'm struggling with my
own shit. But she was like, it's how you react
that is your problem and that and that's what we
need to deal with with you. So yeah, basically two
people with the whole whole bunch of trauma. Because he's
(11:26):
got daddy issues true, Okay, yeah, he also came from a.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Broken Now I get that.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
And I feel like, like, as long as you can
communicate with your partner about issues without being like emotionally charged, yeah,
it makes a big difference.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Yeah, and that's the problem that I have.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
Yes, when we argue, we can't see eye to eye,
and like there's like attitudes or there's like the torn
and that just.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Triggers me more. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
The tone kills me. It wrecks my brain. And this
is what I've been telling myself. I've like taken noise
from what the psychology said when you when you meet somebody,
it's never going to be sunshine and rainbow. It's like,
but you choose, You make a choice to love that
person through thick and sin, through the ups and downs.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
So you've always got to remember you're on the same team.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
So if you're arguingby stuff, you need to come to
some sort of I don't know, like agreement, the middle ground, yeah,
because you should be.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
In syntony to work things through.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
And if you're not, if you're like on the defense
all the time when we're arguing, it's just going to
add feud with the fire and no one's gonna get
anywhe ese.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
So at what point do you just go, Okay, this
isn't working. We need a black split for me.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
Like I've done toxic cycles for months yours sometimes, you know,
I think it just takes.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
One person to get to absolute breaking points. Yeah, if
you're not if you're not taking the steps in a
good direction, and if it just stays the same and
you're not respecting boundaries, working on communication and trust, yeah,
one person is just gonna lose it and be like
I'm done.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Like, if you haven't toxic cycles and they're happening like
a reoccurring thing every couple of weeks, every couple of months, wherever,
it's not always a thing, because I feel like you
learn the most when you're in like those dark places
in your relationship, you know what I mean, Like you
have them harsher conversations and stuff.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
So, like I feel like, as long as you're on
like an upward trajectory and you are improving together, then
I think that's fine because eventually they'll just become less
and less frequent, right, and less and less intense. But
if you're just going through toxic cycles and nothing's getting
changed and it's the same shit, then you need to
just pack up your stuff on leaves.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
I feel like the thing that works so well is
just being like, hey, can we please have a conversation,
sit down, pour your heart out, and also be like
I love you. I don't want you to feel these
bad feelings, Like I want you to be happy. Like
I remember when I start lock you down ages ago,
and I was like, look, it would absolutely fucking kill
(13:49):
me to see you with another woman. But I'm at
the point now where like I'm happy for you to
do that because I want you to be happy and
I also want I want myself to be happy and
like after that convert because I was so calm, so
just like, babe, I love you, I respect you, I
(14:11):
want the best for you. He was like, oh shit, okay,
he's not just being like fucky.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Yes see that's the difference. Like we spoke bo just before.
Like the torn in which you talk and converse. Yes,
when you're having arguments and disagreements is like everything like
night and day. Like you're gonna get a much better
resolution to what you're talking about. If you're in a
good mindset and you can't cool and collected. If you're
just erratic and you're screaming and shouting, nothing is gonna
(14:38):
get done.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Nothing's gonna get all exactly.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
But it's human nature, right If someone comes at you,
what are you gonna do?
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Yeah, you're gonna buy hug No, you're gonna buy back.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
Yeah, yeah, you're gonna buy it back and be like, well, no,
I feel like you're coming at me, So I'm gonna
stand up for myself.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Yes right yeah, And like I that's the thing with me,
Like I'll tick like the brand.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
If I've done something.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
Wrong, I will own it and I'll be apologetic i'd like, yeah,
I'm sorry, Like I'll do better, I'll be better, and
I'm constantly learning, I'm constantly trying to improve.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
But as soon as you start like talking to me
with a stinking torn bruh, I feel like I'm getting disrespected.
Yeah yeah, pack your stuff. Fuck off.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Let's talk about the most psycho thing you've ever done
in a relationship. I've got a good one.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Yeah, Okay.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
So one day, and this is when I would just
had Forest or he was young or something, and I
was at home with him because he was a baby,
had to do the whole routine stuff. Lockie would go
to work and I called him one day and his
factory is like five minutes from where we live. So
I called him one day and I'm like, hey, babe,
where are you. He's like, I'm in the factory bathroom.
(15:47):
And I'm like, send me a photo. So he sends
me a photo of like the toilet bowl in his feet,
sends it to me. I'm like, that's not the fucking
factory floor. Bra I'm like, I've seen the factory floor.
I know what it looks like. So I got in
my car, drove down to the factory and he wasn't there.
(16:11):
I was like calling, calling clam. I'm like, dude, how
dare you lie? What are you doing lying to me?
I'm here, You're not here anyway. It turns out he
was at the pub because he was so fine. I'm like, dude,
just tell me, like just just be like baby, I'm
at the pub anyway. So it goes on. So I
(16:31):
was like, Okay, he's telling me he was at the pub.
So the next day I got in my car and
I went to the pub. He said he was in
to check the floors to match the photo. It matched.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Oh my god, that's crazy.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
That is crazy. That is crazy.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
I feel like girls are crazier than guys when it
comes to leaderships.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Thore like, I don't think I don't have anything like
remotely close to that.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
That's that's like you're like, you're like CSI investigators.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Do you have each other's location on?
Speaker 4 (17:00):
No, But one time I did ask him yeah, and
he kind of made a big deal about it. And
then and then he's like, fine, he gave me my friend.
I'm like, I don't know what up to download or
how to fucking do it. Sorry, it never ended up happening.
I feel like I'm really bad, like I don't care enough. Yeah,
you know what I mean, Like if something was happening
(17:21):
behind behind my back, I feel like I'm at the
point now I'm like, yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Cause it's your I think you're like secure as well.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
Yeah, you know that always happens because I don't really
have any crazy stories. I don't have any crazy stories,
but I've gone mental chasing after the girl or or
you know, like anything like that. But I've had girls
like be mental at me. Like I remember one bird.
I only saw her for like three or four weeks,
but every time she'd come over, she would always leave
like a year ring or a net class.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
Well, but I would do that not unintentionally, yeah, forgetful.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
And I know a lot of girls are like forgetful
and they do that.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
But this girl, like she knew what she was doing
because as soon as she was leaving, it'd be like
twenty four hours and she'd be like, oh, yeah, I
left my ring in your bottom drawer, so like like
stuff like that.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
Right she's putting it in a room.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
So I was like this girl and what she's doing
because every time she come back to collect her stuff, like.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
She would we would be active, say, right.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
So we went through this cycle of for like four weeks, right,
and like I was like, I'm not ready to date,
Like I'm just like I'm just this is fun, this
casual whatever. And then I met this girl the same
time as I was seeing her. The girl that I
was seeing, the crazy one I was seeing on the
rag was meshed me and she was like, oh, like,
what are you doing tonight? And I was like, oh,
like I'm I'm busy tonight, like I'm out and stuff.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
And she knew I was lying. I don't know how,
but she just knew I was lying.
Speaker 4 (18:38):
We've got good into it, but I had.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
I went on a date that night, so I got
a girl to come back to. Mind.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
You just said like, yeah, I just did.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
She was none of her business, like I don't owe
her any loyalties or anything.
Speaker 4 (18:49):
Right, true, But did you make it known to her
that you didn't want to Yeah?
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Like this was literally I had a TV show like
coming up, so I was like, I'm not looking to
do any like date or be serious.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
Like yeah, if you're watching this, like I feel like,
just be respectful and just like tell her what's up.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Yeah, as long as you lay low down and say,
like what your intentions are. You can do anything you want.
I don't know this girl anything. She doesn't need to
know who I'm going on a date with or who
I'm seeing. Yeah, like this was just it was more
her than me that she was coming on to me.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
Right, And then it's also uncomfortable for a dude to
feel like they do owe them something even when they've
had that honest conversation.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Yeah, that's right, Like everyone just needs.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
To respect everyone's boundary.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Yeah, So I went on a date with this girl
and she was messed. This other one was messing me
all through the dad like I know you're out, I
know you're not home. Your lines religns, just like just ignore, ignore, ignore. Anyway,
it went back to my my my house. Right, were
watching a movie with the girl I went on a
date with. Right, like I had the lights on, the
candles on, were watching a movie in the bed like that.
And then this this crazy girl the other one literally
(19:49):
rocked up to my parents' house and we have like
my rooms at the back of the house and there's
like this massive, like seven foot gate that you've got
to go over to get through the.
Speaker 4 (19:58):
Back, Like sure you were I'm dating.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
No, I wasn't.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
She literally, I said, to this day, I don't know
how the fuck this girl got over that fucking get
all right.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
She came around the around the back of the house.
Speaker 4 (20:10):
That sounds like were up the.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
Windowsn't write orphan. I just said, in this girl watching
a movie. She's fucking banging on the window. I was like,
what are you doing.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
She's like, let me in, let me in. She was
thrown rocks in my windows. She's tryna smash my window.
My parents like, what the fuck is going on? Who
is this girl? I was like, I've known the fight
four weeks.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
No, I don't know, dude, I called bullshit. No, I
promise you, like nowt of their way to do that
when you're not dating.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Mental I know what I'm saying, Like crazy.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
I've got a similar story. But we were dating. I
was really drunk one night and he wasn't answering his
phone call, so I got dropped off by an uber
And then I knew that his bedroom was like on
another level and there was a car parked under his roof,
so I climbed onto the car, climbed the roof, and
then climbed over his balcony. Is so crazy and sounded
(21:03):
like like we we went to Lang stop, we would
get into that bedroom. But he loved.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
It was something to do.
Speaker 4 (21:12):
I swear guys love a bit of psycho.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Yeah, we do, we do, we do?
Speaker 4 (21:18):
Said He would laugh, and he'd tell all his friends
what I did. She jumped on a car and climbed
the roof for me, I'm like, yeah, dude, you're so special.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
I think most guys do love a girl that's like
a bit crazy.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
Yeah, And I think if you're in a relationship, it's
nice to feel like someone's a little bit overprotective. Overprotective
because like too much, there's just a.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Line X when when I was out and stuff, she
would wanted to know exactly where I was, exact time,
exact location, all the time, right, and like, as a.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Guy, we don't really a bit overwhelming.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
It does, and it makes you anxious when you're out
and stuff. You're like, no, I've got a message whatever.
And then like the next morning, one of times I
had this argument, Like next morning she'd be like, oh,
like where were you like nine? Then if you said
you were going here and then they're like where When
I was like oh, I went there like nine.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
She's like, but whant to check your location? You were
here like nine?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
I'm like, I don't know the exact times, and then
they try to make you out like you're lying in
but I'm like, how am I supposed to remember exactly
what time I was in, what location? Where I want
to night out, go into a different couple of bars?
Like what do you expect?
Speaker 4 (22:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (22:20):
You know that to me is like too.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
Much, you know, like, yeah, I've been in that situation
where they're like, what'd you do? Did you go here?
And I just say I can't remember, because I know
that if I say yes, they'll get angry, so I
don't lie. I just say, actually, wait, that is technically lying,
right if I say I can't remember, because I do do.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
But then sometimes you just avoiding the question because you know,
it's just like you open in a bag of words.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
Literally, you know you're going to get in trouble. Yeah,
so you're like, can I phone a friend? What do
you think? Your attachment style is avoidant?
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Like block? Yeah, like avoids onto the extra extreme lengths.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
I feel like I used to be anxious attachment, and
now I'm avoidant because I'm like I'm so overstimulated as
it is, I'm so overwhelmed. I'm a mom, I'm constantly stressed.
So like, if someone brings up a problem and I
know it's going to be an argument, I might avoid, yeah,
delete control olderly, Yeah I cannot.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
I feel like the relationships that are like avoidant an attachment,
like the two different starts together is the co It's
so bad.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
It is so bad.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
It is.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Because one's just like whatever you and they get even
more pissed off and get even more anxious.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
They try to chase you more, and then you run
away more.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
Yeah, I know. And it's the reaction to nine times
out of ten I'm reacting.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Yeah, but you're just not showing it.
Speaker 4 (23:47):
Well no, No, I'm very good at like showing people
how I feel and saying what I want to say.
I've learnt to try and not react, but if someone's
in my gruel and stuff, it's hard for me not to.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Yeah, yeah, I agree.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
I also like hate silent treatment. Do you hate it?
Because I'm like my mom would do it to me actually,
Like if she was angry at me growing up and
she did everything for me like folded an ironed my underwear,
and because I was so adhd, she was like, my brain,
which is not good. And I don't want to do
(24:24):
this for my boys, like I want them to feel independent,
like they'll they'll ask me sometimes, Mom, where's my heart?
I'm like, I don't know, where'd you last have it?
It's your heart whole, yeah, But my mom would be like,
here it is, it's on the hat. Take a left
turn up there, you know. So when when she was angry,
I would ask her a question like where's this or
how do I do this? And she would just like
(24:45):
I killed me trauma, like chatchibt, where where are you?
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Chutch bt? Where's my heart? You think you know everything?
Where's my heart? Do you make that? Good? Are you?
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Pa? I've recently started learning about like the attachment styles
and stuff, and I think they're good and it's good
to educate yourself on them. So even like educating what
start your partner is so you can sort of like
communicate better and understand each other better.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
You know, what's your love language?
Speaker 4 (25:13):
Mine used to be affection? What is it? Physical touch?
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Physical touch?
Speaker 4 (25:21):
Maybe words of affirmation like I love when someone like
compliments me or says like you're doing such a good job.
Yeah yeah, or like and also I would say it's active,
so it's changed since becoming a mum.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Yeah right, okay. I feel like you can have like
a mixture of this, like one.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
Like that's true, Yeah, that's true. But physical touch. Now,
I'm like by the end of the day, once I've
got the kids to bed and like I've done my
shower routine, like nobody touch or look at me, please nobody,
I'm like, i want silence, silence, and then I've got
like crunching when you're coming up to me trying to
(25:59):
liack my face someone, I'm like, oh god, I don't
know what you want. Oh fucking sucks. Just laid down
for the first time today, guys, give us a break.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
Yeah, that's fair, that's fair. Mine's mine's acts of service.
And it's like very like much just that or and
a little bit of like physical touch because I do
like physical It doesn't have to be like sex, but just.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Like cuddling, pudling, Yeah, like just like affection, Like.
Speaker 4 (26:25):
How do you go with public display PDA PDA?
Speaker 3 (26:28):
Yeah like that as well, like just like the little
things like that as well, but predominantly acts of service
that makes me feel like like good, like oh she's
she shows you just U to me is like she
shows she cares. Yes, And it doesn't have to be
like oh you know, I in my socks, I in
my pants wash, it's just like little things.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
Yeah, exactly, because like.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
Sex aside, even just like the affection like when you're
when you're around each other, like that to me is
more more important, you know, Like it's just because it's
like twenty four hours a day, like you just like
each other's company, like like to be like touchy, Like
that's I would I would never not have that in relationship.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
Yeah. And I feel like it also differentiates.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Fucking big words, thank.
Speaker 4 (27:08):
You, let me repeat it. I feel like I fucked
it up a bit, differentiates.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Sounded perfect to me.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
Yeah, that was differentiates between a friendship and a relationship.
I feel because like anyone could hang out and just
like spend quality time together, you know, but I feel
like this.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
That's another one quality time.
Speaker 4 (27:29):
That's what you just said your love language was no
act service. Oh yeah, sorry, I'm getting so confused. I
remember one night I was at an event and Lockie
was like calling and we were chatting on the phone.
And I think we were like having an argument, and
I was with this gay couple, my stylist Paul and
(27:53):
his partner, and his partner was explaining to me all
about the attachment styles attachment styles and he was like, look, babe,
this is what locky is. And I'm like, wow, you're
so knowledgeable. I'm like I loved how much he knew.
And he was like, it's all about understanding where someone's
(28:13):
coming from and what they need from you. Yes, that's
that's going.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
To help you a lot, so much, Yeah, so much.
You've got to meet each other's needs.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Who are you laughing?
Speaker 4 (28:23):
And I'm laughing because I'm like, am I really learning
relationship with vite from cal?
Speaker 3 (28:28):
I told you I've turned over a new leaf in
these last six months and I'm loving it and I'm
loving it, and everything in terms of relationships are like improving,
Like it's I'm just like on this trajectory where like
I'm wanting to be the best version of myself and
I'm wanting to have like strong relationships, not just like
with like you know, your your girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever, but.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Like for your friends and your family, like everything you
know so true and.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
The more you learn about it, the better you are,
and like the better you can be with people, you know,
Like it's crazy, but yeah, I've learned so much, especially
like even off the Tay Psychology at a couple of
sessions there on.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
This night and day we go back. Yeah, I'm gonna
continue to see this second.
Speaker 4 (29:06):
I really need to go back. But the thing that
lost me last time, I feel like it's really hard
to find one that's right for you. But the lady
that I went back to last time, I really liked
her because she, like the first relationship counsel Locke and
I went to, I feel like she was like siding
with him, and I'm like, okay, you don't know anyway,
(29:29):
I felt like she sided. I felt like judged by
the first one, and I was like.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Going back to you like my side.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
No, no, no, no, no, no, that's so funny. Oh
you can't hear's it? You're fucking mor Oh my god,
that's so funny. No, that's not what I was thinking.
But then the last one that was like she didn't
take sides, and I was like, okay, I like her,
(29:58):
like she pretty much said like yeah, that's pretty fucked
up what she's doing. But she's doing it because of
her trauma and we need to get to the bottom
of that. But your reaction is also not good. So
I went back to her just alone and the one
thing that like, I was like, I don't understand, and
it stuck with me to this day, is she was like,
(30:20):
you just got to be present, and I was like,
what you lost me?
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
They say words like that and you're like, what are
you on about? Like the psycholoists I saw, She's like,
you just got to learn acceptance, like accept everything, like
if things are not going right, accept it, if it's
not going your way, accepted.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
No, I'm not fucking accepting it. I'm not accepting it.
I'm not accepting.
Speaker 4 (30:40):
But then you do you say that to her though?
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (30:43):
I was like, yeah, because you've got to be like
completely transparent with the psychologist for them to work obviously,
and you and do the best job for you, right,
because it's easy for me.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
I was in Fiji right this. In Australia, I could
have just.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
Been like she's this, she's that, like I'm fucking perfect,
you know, But then like I'm not going to get
any like constructive advice, right, yeah, or like a neutral standpoint,
So I say all my flaws, everything I've done wrong,
all the trauma that I've brought a relationship. Yes, then
I've said what she does. And then the psychologis will
be like, well, she's doing this because you've done this,
or because you're doing this, then I've stopped doing what
(31:17):
she said not to do.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
And like it's working. I'm like, are you a psychologist
or a miracle? Ah?
Speaker 3 (31:23):
Yeah nah, But I would recommend, like, if you're going
through a bit of a tough time with your with
your spouse, like go to psychologists, like actual, like they
are good.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
If you get a good one, like it would be
night and day. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
Have you seen the show on Netflix called Couple's Therapy. No,
So it's like a show and it's basically these couples
and it's real life people having real life problems in
the relationship and everything's just obviously recording for on Netflix.
And like, if you think your relationship, you're going through
a hard time in your relationship, watch that. Watch that
because some of these people's are relationships are fucking next level.
(32:00):
Some people being with each other for like fifteen years.
They sit in these seats with the psychologists and they
hate each other, hate each other together just.
Speaker 4 (32:10):
But I guess that's why they're there in the first place.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
To try and fix try and fix it. Yeah, but I.
Speaker 4 (32:14):
Feel like sometimes you just can't get over that resentment
if there's too much.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
Yeah, And if you like hold onto things, it'll come
and bite you in the arse in the long run.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
And that's what's happened with me in the past.
Speaker 4 (32:25):
I don't hold onto it. I'm like, whatever, you're good now,
you're showing up for me.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
No, But I mean more so, like if something's irking
you and like you just don't want to bring it
up because you think that it's going to cause an argument,
so you just hold onto it, right, you let it
go whatever. Then you have these thoughts they go come
by every week you're like, oh, fuck, give me again,
he's doing the same thing again. Eventually it'll come out
and it'll come out like fucking fireworks. So it's bet
(32:50):
to just speak about it rather than let it build
up inside, because when it comes out in an argument,
it is full chuck.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Yeah. I think there was a time in my life,
like maybe like maybe like a year and a half
ago when I realized that like I like crazy girls.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
Like I remember I was in Sydney, right, and we
had this massive argument.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Like it was you're like an ex. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
We had this massive argument and I was like, you
know what, I'm not I'm not going to be staying
with you tonight in this hotel.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
So I'm just going to go out and you can
just go to the hotel.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
I'll get a new room, right, And then she went
into the room kicking off whatever, and I was like
I'm going out, fuck it, like whatever. I went out
and I came back that night, checked in, booked a
new room. The guy that booked me the room pat
me in this in the room next door to her,
right next door to my previous room. So I've come
in a bit drunk or whatever. I've got into the room,
(33:44):
laid the bed and be like, fuck, this night's been
a fucking nightmare. That's all I can do is my
ex just yelling about my eater, like her friends, Hey,
he's a fuck where he's there, he's that. And I'm like,
oh my god, she's crazy and I can't even sleep no,
right because all my stuff is in there in that
room as well, and like I just got her literally
slagging me off on the phone, like and do everything.
So I've gone back in the room and I and
(34:05):
I was like I can literally fucking hear you give
me off, Like what's the goal? You need to relax?
And then she goes get out of my room. She
grabs my suitcase off the fucking balcony right clause all
across Sydney my two two and a half brand sunglasses
Detas Gold ones.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Yeah, drops them on the floor, stamps up to them.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
I'm like, this is crazy, Like I'm never putting myself
in this situation again. Then I was like, it's so hot,
She's so hot. And then I say in the night
that anyway, it's that crazy sex. And I did use
the stair room.
Speaker 4 (34:36):
I wonder why guys like a bit of psycho. I
think it's just like you want someone who keeps you
on your tie.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
Yeah, somebody that's like firm and like I feel like
it's hot. It's like sexy, you know, because.
Speaker 4 (34:46):
It's like, don't fucking disrespect me?
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Yes, yeah that one. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Obviously, again there's levels to it, and like to have
a healthy relationship, you can't just be crazy all the time.
But having a bit of bark to you is like
it's attractive.
Speaker 4 (34:57):
Yeah, But honestly, I don't think she needed to take
it that far. But I mean, if I'd had a
couple of drinks and me maybe ten years ago before kids,
sounds like a sky Wheeley thinks, Yes, like I feel
like I would have done the most crazy shit. Yeah,
you just need to keep the spice alive. You don't
have to be toxic.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Yeah, you just need to keep.
Speaker 4 (35:19):
The spice alive and just have firm boundaries and not Yeah.
I think being a pushover and allowing things you don't
want to allow to keep a reoccurring.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Yeah, you're setting yourself up a failure.
Speaker 4 (35:31):
Yeah you are. You are for sure?
Speaker 3 (35:33):
All right, guys. That's a wrap for today's episode. Make
sure you subscribe to the podcast. If you want to
hear more, follow all the offer action over on our Instagram,
sky dot Weekly and car dot dev or at Sky
and Carlum Podcasts, and if you want to ask us
any further questions or chat to our producers, you can
email us as anytime at Skyancarlem at all the podcasts
(35:55):
dot com dot au
This podcast was recorded on Budge lung Land and produced
in Numb.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
All right, we're on.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
Bring all right, guys, welcome back to the podcast. Today's episode,
we're going to be talking all things breakups.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
All right.
Speaker 4 (00:17):
Actually have a really traumatic breakup story that I'm going
to share with you guys, so buckle.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
In hit me with it.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
I think it might have been maybe because it's the
most recent, but my worst breakup would have been with
my ex cam before Lockie. But it was because basically
we felt pregnant and I really wanted to keep the baby.
Like I was like so ready, and I was like,
(00:44):
are you ready to step up? Because we were kind
of like on and off, on and off again, like
it was it was. We weren't. I wouldn't say we
were like toxic, but we did break up for a
very long period of time and then get back together.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
How long is a long period of time?
Speaker 4 (00:58):
Maybe like a good two months. Yeah, So we'd gotten
back together a few times and then that had happened,
and then I was like and he seemed quite serious too,
and he's like, yeah, yeah, we'll rent somewhere, we'll move
in together because he lived in Brisbane and I lived
on the Gold Coast, so we didn't we weren't living together,
but he was like, yeah, yeah, we'll move in. We
(01:19):
can do this d D. And one night he went
out and was just like not answering my calls, just
fully barring me, and I think he did it a
couple of times, and then yeah, I was just like,
you know what, You're not gonna fucking take this seriously.
If you're doing shit like this now, you are not
ready to be a dad and I'm not ready to
(01:41):
have a partner that's going to do that to me.
So I was like, Nah, my mom called his mom.
They had a really mature chat and they were like,
I think it's best if we terminate. So I did
have a termination. I mean, obviously it's really sad and
it's heartbreaking and it's never a nice thing to go through.
But looking back, I'm like, imagine how different my life
(02:04):
would be if I didn't do that. I'm so thankful
of how my life has turned out.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Yeah, of course, you know, And I feel like everything
happens for a reason.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
You know me too, I'm a big believer on that.
And I remember being so just heartbroken and I was
in pain, like I was in fetal position, just balling
my eyes out, could barely breathe, like the break was yeah,
like my lungs were hurting. I think that's why I
have such a fear of it, because I'm like that
(02:33):
pain is like undescribable, and.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
It's they're the worst.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
I feel like breakups are worse than death, yeah, because
I feel like with death you can't control it, right,
Like you grieve, but you can't.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
It's yeah, yeah, it's closure.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Closure.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
You grieve, but like you can't do anything you can
only the only option is to like you know, move
forward and try to get past it. Whereas like when
you go through a breakup, your emotions are just like
sway and back and forth, Like if I made the
right decision, shall I go back? Do I miss her?
Am I just DOINGX is comfortable? Like she canna be
the right one for me? Or am I just set
in like all these soult school for your head and
they can literally consume your brain.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
Absolutely No. But once I got through that pain and
that that heartache, I never looked back. I was like,
that was the right decision one hundred percent, and my
life just got better. And then how's this? I met
a girl that he dated after me, who was who
followed me on Instagram? And I asked her one night
when I saw her out, because we're like friendly with
(03:33):
each other.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Why are you friendly with all these girls boyfriends care?
Speaker 4 (03:38):
I don't care. I'm like, I really don't care, like mud.
But we weren't friends at the time, Like, I didn't
know who she was. She just followed me, so it's
not like we were friends or anything. She's got no
loyalty to me. If she meets a guy that I
was dating and she was following me, no for a
girl I don't know her anyway. I saw her out
(03:58):
one time because we have become friendly, and I asked
her and Mike was cam ever, Oh fuck, maybe I
shouldn't say his name?
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Yeah, who cares? Okay, can't help you tune in?
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Brother?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (04:13):
I asked her and Mike, was he ever like talking
to you when he was with me sort of thing?
Or did you see him when he was with me?
And she was kind of like yeah. So I'm like, Okay,
fucking man, that my life panned out to be how
it was, like, Yeah, everything happens for a reason, and
I believe the universe is looking out for all of us.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Yeah, exactly if you do well, like the universe will
like help you, Calma.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
Yeah, absolutely, yeah I believe that. Okay, what about you.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Oh, I've gone through the most. The most recent breakup
I've gone through has been the hardest. Like I've had
a few breakups in my time, and usually honestly, I'm
not bothered, Like I'm not bothering. I'm like it's having
for a reason, Like I'll use this energy now to
put into my training, put into like feeling good, like business.
Everything goes like through the roof when I go through
(05:03):
a breakup because I channeled that energy into good things, right,
But this one, I don't know what it is, but
like it was like the hardest like three weeks of
my life, Like actual, wait.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Why did you decide to Because it.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
Was just like toxic and it's like back and forth,
back and forth, and it was just like you know what,
I can't I can't keep going through this toxic cycle.
Like something needs to give and I need to stop it. Right,
So I actually even start a psychologist for the first time.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
Yeah, maybe you guys should go together.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Yeah, because I was just like I wanted to know why,
why these patterns keep occurring, like what's going on?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (05:43):
And like I was a bit like, I don't know
when I use the word psychologists. So I'm seeing psycholist reever.
I'm just like whatever. I just give fixed your on head,
Like yeah, I'm just like whatever. But when I was
in Fiji, we actually get given psychologists that we have
to see as part of our show, right, And so
I went, yeah, yeah, it is the host able to
(06:05):
be do hosted, you know what I mean? And so
I spoke to a how to chat with a psychologists
and I tell you what, it was the best conversation
I've ever had. And I think it's because the psychologists
will if you if you're open and honest with the
psychologists not just saying like their flaws, but saying your
flaws as well, they can have a neutral standpoint and
just advise you and tell you why that person's doing
(06:27):
that and why you're doing this as and then you
can really dive into your behavior patterns and work out like, Okay,
if this is going to work, I need to stop
doing this and she needs to stop doing this, right Yeah,
And so I took her advice on board and I
went three weeks no conduct, which is hard, right, no contact.
I was like, I'm not going to rush back into
(06:48):
this because I know it would be like a toxic
cycle again. So I sat in like the most uncomfortable
like the silence.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
Yeah, she actually maybe felt like.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
This is it, Yeah, this is it. I'm like, this
is the I need to move on.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
I'm going to put all my effort into training, like business, everything,
and like things have been going good. Like I've been
on upward trajection now with everything, which is good. And
I didn't rush back straight away, which is also good
because that's why I normally would do and usually I
would fill avoid as well, and I haven't done any
of that, right, I've just been like sat in my
own uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, and I feel like that's
where you get like introspect, you know. And like I've
(07:22):
started talking to it again now and like things are
just like so much better.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Hence the flowers.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
Wait, so with the psychologist did she say did she
recommend that you just like stop?
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Yeah? Yeah. The psychologists is.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Like, if to show what behavior you want to yeah, yeah,
so she's basically she basically said that like if you
keep just going running back once you've had like a
fight or a breakup whatever, and you run back within
two or three days, you're not fixing anything because you're
not being able to feel your emotions.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
You're not able to think logically because you're so heightened
with your emotions. And a lot of people just run
back because it's comfortable and familiar, but nothing actually gets resolved.
If you don't rush back and spend time by yourself
alone with your uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, then you can
think logically and then how you want to move forward.
And that's what I did. I just sat and I
(08:11):
was like, if I want to make this work, I
need to like actually have proper conversations about the matter
rather than just like putting band aids on it every
time we break up and then like it just keeps
falling off.
Speaker 4 (08:21):
Or just bringing up the past, so you just continue
to fight. This is what I've said to Locky so
many times. I'm like, Babe, like I would just love
to have a proper break like that. We've had quite
a lot of like breaks here and there, but they're
only the longest one lasted like two weeks. And I say, no, no, like,
why don't we try and like fully have a good break, yeah,
(08:44):
like six months or something, and he's like, Noah, that's it,
I'm done. If we do that, then that's a break.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Is a long time.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
Okay, maybe not six months, but like whatever, a decent break.
And I think in his mind he thinks like, no,
it's over, and once he's done, he's done. But I'm like, no,
I feel like it could be really good for us
and like maybe we would appreciate each other so much more.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Yeah. Well, they say, withdrawal mix the heart grow fonder.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Yeah, absolutely, and like everything even in three weeks for me,
like it felt like a lifetime. But then like once
we like reconnected, it's like so much better now. Like
it's because they're clear with our intentions and talk about
things that are going wrong, and we spoke about ways
that we can be better for each other, you know, And.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
I feel like Lockie's pretty good at that, like respecting
my boundaries. Like we actually did do couples counseling, and
I really like it's such a funny story, right because
the school was having problems with forest and we had
to get in touch with this this place who looks
after children. So it was a pediatric psychologist or they
(09:50):
whatever they I don't know what they're called pediatric, like
the no No babies or their young children babies and
young children pediatric. Anyway, So we got on the phone
one day, Locking Andie because we were trying to book
an appointment for Forest. Anyway, he starts going at me
on the phone and I'm like, oh my god, and
(10:11):
then all our problems are just like we're laying you're
piling up, We're laying it onto this pediatrician psychologist who's
trying to get a booking for our son. And she goes, right, Okay,
I think you guys need to come in and see
me because it starts with your behavior. Like Forest and
the kids and the boys are learning off YouTube, so
(10:32):
we're going to start with you guys. So we went
in there one day and we sat there and he
was just like, she's done this, she's done that, She's
done this, this, this and this and this and this
and this and this, and I just sat there, I'm like, yeah,
this is what happens. Like he does get quite upset
with me and he brings up a lot of things
that have happened in the past, and she just sat back,
and she said, Okay, right, she's doing those things because
(10:54):
of her own problems and issues, but the way that
you're reacting is your choice and you need to work.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
On that, yeah, because that's adding fuel to the fire.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
But like, I'm doing things that you know are disrespectful
or hurtful to another person because I'm struggling with my
own shit. But she was like, it's how you react
that is your problem and that and that's what we
need to deal with with you. So yeah, basically two
people with the whole whole bunch of trauma. Because he's
(11:26):
got daddy issues true, Okay, yeah, he also came from a.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Broken Now I get that.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
And I feel like, like, as long as you can
communicate with your partner about issues without being like emotionally charged, yeah,
it makes a big difference.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Yeah, and that's the problem that I have.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
Yes, when we argue, we can't see eye to eye,
and like there's like attitudes or there's like the torn
and that just.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Triggers me more. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
The tone kills me. It wrecks my brain. And this
is what I've been telling myself. I've like taken noise
from what the psychology said when you when you meet somebody,
it's never going to be sunshine and rainbow. It's like,
but you choose, You make a choice to love that
person through thick and sin, through the ups and downs.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
So you've always got to remember you're on the same team.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
So if you're arguingby stuff, you need to come to
some sort of I don't know, like agreement, the middle ground, yeah,
because you should be.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
In syntony to work things through.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
And if you're not, if you're like on the defense
all the time when we're arguing, it's just going to
add feud with the fire and no one's gonna get
anywhe ese.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
So at what point do you just go, Okay, this
isn't working. We need a black split for me.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
Like I've done toxic cycles for months yours sometimes, you know,
I think it just takes.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
One person to get to absolute breaking points. Yeah, if
you're not if you're not taking the steps in a
good direction, and if it just stays the same and
you're not respecting boundaries, working on communication and trust, yeah,
one person is just gonna lose it and be like
I'm done.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Like, if you haven't toxic cycles and they're happening like
a reoccurring thing every couple of weeks, every couple of months, wherever,
it's not always a thing, because I feel like you
learn the most when you're in like those dark places
in your relationship, you know what I mean, Like you
have them harsher conversations and stuff.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
So, like I feel like, as long as you're on
like an upward trajectory and you are improving together, then
I think that's fine because eventually they'll just become less
and less frequent, right, and less and less intense. But
if you're just going through toxic cycles and nothing's getting
changed and it's the same shit, then you need to
just pack up your stuff on leaves.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
I feel like the thing that works so well is
just being like, hey, can we please have a conversation,
sit down, pour your heart out, and also be like
I love you. I don't want you to feel these
bad feelings, Like I want you to be happy. Like
I remember when I start lock you down ages ago,
and I was like, look, it would absolutely fucking kill
(13:49):
me to see you with another woman. But I'm at
the point now where like I'm happy for you to
do that because I want you to be happy and
I also want I want myself to be happy and
like after that convert because I was so calm, so
just like, babe, I love you, I respect you, I
(14:11):
want the best for you. He was like, oh shit, okay,
he's not just being like fucky.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Yes see that's the difference. Like we spoke bo just before.
Like the torn in which you talk and converse. Yes,
when you're having arguments and disagreements is like everything like
night and day. Like you're gonna get a much better
resolution to what you're talking about. If you're in a
good mindset and you can't cool and collected. If you're
just erratic and you're screaming and shouting, nothing is gonna
(14:38):
get done.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Nothing's gonna get all exactly.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
But it's human nature, right If someone comes at you,
what are you gonna do?
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Yeah, you're gonna buy hug No, you're gonna buy back.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
Yeah, yeah, you're gonna buy it back and be like, well, no,
I feel like you're coming at me, So I'm gonna
stand up for myself.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Yes right yeah, And like I that's the thing with me,
Like I'll tick like the brand.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
If I've done something.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
Wrong, I will own it and I'll be apologetic i'd like, yeah,
I'm sorry, Like I'll do better, I'll be better, and
I'm constantly learning, I'm constantly trying to improve.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
But as soon as you start like talking to me
with a stinking torn bruh, I feel like I'm getting disrespected.
Yeah yeah, pack your stuff. Fuck off.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Let's talk about the most psycho thing you've ever done
in a relationship. I've got a good one.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Yeah, Okay.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
So one day, and this is when I would just
had Forest or he was young or something, and I
was at home with him because he was a baby,
had to do the whole routine stuff. Lockie would go
to work and I called him one day and his
factory is like five minutes from where we live. So
I called him one day and I'm like, hey, babe,
where are you. He's like, I'm in the factory bathroom.
(15:47):
And I'm like, send me a photo. So he sends
me a photo of like the toilet bowl in his feet,
sends it to me. I'm like, that's not the fucking
factory floor. Bra I'm like, I've seen the factory floor.
I know what it looks like. So I got in
my car, drove down to the factory and he wasn't there.
(16:11):
I was like calling, calling clam. I'm like, dude, how
dare you lie? What are you doing lying to me?
I'm here, You're not here anyway. It turns out he
was at the pub because he was so fine. I'm like, dude,
just tell me, like just just be like baby, I'm
at the pub anyway. So it goes on. So I
(16:31):
was like, Okay, he's telling me he was at the pub.
So the next day I got in my car and
I went to the pub. He said he was in
to check the floors to match the photo. It matched.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Oh my god, that's crazy.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
That is crazy. That is crazy.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
I feel like girls are crazier than guys when it
comes to leaderships.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Thore like, I don't think I don't have anything like
remotely close to that.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
That's that's like you're like, you're like CSI investigators.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Do you have each other's location on?
Speaker 4 (17:00):
No, But one time I did ask him yeah, and
he kind of made a big deal about it. And
then and then he's like, fine, he gave me my friend.
I'm like, I don't know what up to download or
how to fucking do it. Sorry, it never ended up happening.
I feel like I'm really bad, like I don't care enough. Yeah,
you know what I mean, Like if something was happening
(17:21):
behind behind my back, I feel like I'm at the
point now I'm like, yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Cause it's your I think you're like secure as well.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
Yeah, you know that always happens because I don't really
have any crazy stories. I don't have any crazy stories,
but I've gone mental chasing after the girl or or
you know, like anything like that. But I've had girls
like be mental at me. Like I remember one bird.
I only saw her for like three or four weeks,
but every time she'd come over, she would always leave
like a year ring or a net class.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
Well, but I would do that not unintentionally, yeah, forgetful.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
And I know a lot of girls are like forgetful
and they do that.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
But this girl, like she knew what she was doing
because as soon as she was leaving, it'd be like
twenty four hours and she'd be like, oh, yeah, I
left my ring in your bottom drawer, so like like
stuff like that.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
Right she's putting it in a room.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
So I was like this girl and what she's doing
because every time she come back to collect her stuff, like.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
She would we would be active, say, right.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
So we went through this cycle of for like four weeks, right,
and like I was like, I'm not ready to date,
Like I'm just like I'm just this is fun, this
casual whatever. And then I met this girl the same
time as I was seeing her. The girl that I
was seeing, the crazy one I was seeing on the
rag was meshed me and she was like, oh, like,
what are you doing tonight? And I was like, oh,
like I'm I'm busy tonight, like I'm out and stuff.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
And she knew I was lying. I don't know how,
but she just knew I was lying.
Speaker 4 (18:38):
We've got good into it, but I had.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
I went on a date that night, so I got
a girl to come back to. Mind.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
You just said like, yeah, I just did.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
She was none of her business, like I don't owe
her any loyalties or anything.
Speaker 4 (18:49):
Right, true, But did you make it known to her
that you didn't want to Yeah?
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Like this was literally I had a TV show like
coming up, so I was like, I'm not looking to
do any like date or be serious.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
Like yeah, if you're watching this, like I feel like,
just be respectful and just like tell her what's up.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Yeah, as long as you lay low down and say,
like what your intentions are. You can do anything you want.
I don't know this girl anything. She doesn't need to
know who I'm going on a date with or who
I'm seeing. Yeah, like this was just it was more
her than me that she was coming on to me.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
Right, And then it's also uncomfortable for a dude to
feel like they do owe them something even when they've
had that honest conversation.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Yeah, that's right, Like everyone just needs.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
To respect everyone's boundary.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
Yeah, So I went on a date with this girl
and she was messed. This other one was messing me
all through the dad like I know you're out, I
know you're not home. Your lines religns, just like just ignore, ignore, ignore. Anyway,
it went back to my my my house. Right, were
watching a movie with the girl I went on a
date with. Right, like I had the lights on, the
candles on, were watching a movie in the bed like that.
And then this this crazy girl the other one literally
(19:49):
rocked up to my parents' house and we have like
my rooms at the back of the house and there's
like this massive, like seven foot gate that you've got
to go over to get through the.
Speaker 4 (19:58):
Back, Like sure you were I'm dating.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
No, I wasn't.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
She literally, I said, to this day, I don't know
how the fuck this girl got over that fucking get
all right.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
She came around the around the back of the house.
Speaker 4 (20:10):
That sounds like were up the.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
Windowsn't write orphan. I just said, in this girl watching
a movie. She's fucking banging on the window. I was like,
what are you doing.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
She's like, let me in, let me in. She was
thrown rocks in my windows. She's tryna smash my window.
My parents like, what the fuck is going on? Who
is this girl? I was like, I've known the fight
four weeks.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
No, I don't know, dude, I called bullshit. No, I
promise you, like nowt of their way to do that
when you're not dating.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Mental I know what I'm saying, Like crazy.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
I've got a similar story. But we were dating. I
was really drunk one night and he wasn't answering his
phone call, so I got dropped off by an uber
And then I knew that his bedroom was like on
another level and there was a car parked under his roof,
so I climbed onto the car, climbed the roof, and
then climbed over his balcony. Is so crazy and sounded
(21:03):
like like we we went to Lang stop, we would
get into that bedroom. But he loved.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
It was something to do.
Speaker 4 (21:12):
I swear guys love a bit of psycho.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Yeah, we do, we do, we do?
Speaker 4 (21:18):
Said He would laugh, and he'd tell all his friends
what I did. She jumped on a car and climbed
the roof for me, I'm like, yeah, dude, you're so special.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
I think most guys do love a girl that's like
a bit crazy.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
Yeah, And I think if you're in a relationship, it's
nice to feel like someone's a little bit overprotective. Overprotective
because like too much, there's just a.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Line X when when I was out and stuff, she
would wanted to know exactly where I was, exact time,
exact location, all the time, right, and like, as a.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Guy, we don't really a bit overwhelming.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
It does, and it makes you anxious when you're out
and stuff. You're like, no, I've got a message whatever.
And then like the next morning, one of times I
had this argument, Like next morning she'd be like, oh,
like where were you like nine? Then if you said
you were going here and then they're like where When
I was like oh, I went there like nine.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
She's like, but whant to check your location? You were
here like nine?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
I'm like, I don't know the exact times, and then
they try to make you out like you're lying in
but I'm like, how am I supposed to remember exactly
what time I was in, what location? Where I want
to night out, go into a different couple of bars?
Like what do you expect?
Speaker 4 (22:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (22:20):
You know that to me is like too.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
Much, you know, like, yeah, I've been in that situation
where they're like, what'd you do? Did you go here?
And I just say I can't remember, because I know
that if I say yes, they'll get angry, so I
don't lie. I just say, actually, wait, that is technically lying,
right if I say I can't remember, because I do do.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
But then sometimes you just avoiding the question because you know,
it's just like you open in a bag of words.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
Literally, you know you're going to get in trouble. Yeah,
so you're like, can I phone a friend? What do
you think? Your attachment style is avoidant?
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Like block? Yeah, like avoids onto the extra extreme lengths.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
I feel like I used to be anxious attachment, and
now I'm avoidant because I'm like I'm so overstimulated as
it is, I'm so overwhelmed. I'm a mom, I'm constantly stressed.
So like, if someone brings up a problem and I
know it's going to be an argument, I might avoid, yeah,
delete control olderly, Yeah I cannot.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
I feel like the relationships that are like avoidant an attachment,
like the two different starts together is the co It's
so bad.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
It is so bad.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
It is.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Because one's just like whatever you and they get even
more pissed off and get even more anxious.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
They try to chase you more, and then you run
away more.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
Yeah, I know. And it's the reaction to nine times
out of ten I'm reacting.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Yeah, but you're just not showing it.
Speaker 4 (23:47):
Well no, No, I'm very good at like showing people
how I feel and saying what I want to say.
I've learnt to try and not react, but if someone's
in my gruel and stuff, it's hard for me not to.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Yeah, yeah, I agree.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
I also like hate silent treatment. Do you hate it?
Because I'm like my mom would do it to me actually,
Like if she was angry at me growing up and
she did everything for me like folded an ironed my underwear,
and because I was so adhd, she was like, my brain,
which is not good. And I don't want to do
(24:24):
this for my boys, like I want them to feel independent,
like they'll they'll ask me sometimes, Mom, where's my heart?
I'm like, I don't know, where'd you last have it?
It's your heart whole, yeah, But my mom would be like,
here it is, it's on the hat. Take a left
turn up there, you know. So when when she was angry,
I would ask her a question like where's this or
how do I do this? And she would just like
(24:45):
I killed me trauma, like chatchibt, where where are you?
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Chutch bt? Where's my heart? You think you know everything?
Where's my heart? Do you make that? Good? Are you?
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Pa? I've recently started learning about like the attachment styles
and stuff, and I think they're good and it's good
to educate yourself on them. So even like educating what
start your partner is so you can sort of like
communicate better and understand each other better.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
You know, what's your love language?
Speaker 4 (25:13):
Mine used to be affection? What is it? Physical touch?
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Physical touch?
Speaker 4 (25:21):
Maybe words of affirmation like I love when someone like
compliments me or says like you're doing such a good job.
Yeah yeah, or like and also I would say it's active,
so it's changed since becoming a mum.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Yeah right, okay. I feel like you can have like
a mixture of this, like one.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
Like that's true, Yeah, that's true. But physical touch. Now,
I'm like by the end of the day, once I've
got the kids to bed and like I've done my
shower routine, like nobody touch or look at me, please nobody,
I'm like, i want silence, silence, and then I've got
like crunching when you're coming up to me trying to
(25:59):
liack my face someone, I'm like, oh god, I don't
know what you want. Oh fucking sucks. Just laid down
for the first time today, guys, give us a break.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
Yeah, that's fair, that's fair. Mine's mine's acts of service.
And it's like very like much just that or and
a little bit of like physical touch because I do
like physical It doesn't have to be like sex, but just.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Like cuddling, pudling, Yeah, like just like affection, Like.
Speaker 4 (26:25):
How do you go with public display PDA PDA?
Speaker 3 (26:28):
Yeah like that as well, like just like the little
things like that as well, but predominantly acts of service
that makes me feel like like good, like oh she's
she shows you just U to me is like she
shows she cares. Yes, And it doesn't have to be
like oh you know, I in my socks, I in
my pants wash, it's just like little things.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
Yeah, exactly, because like.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
Sex aside, even just like the affection like when you're
when you're around each other, like that to me is
more more important, you know, Like it's just because it's
like twenty four hours a day, like you just like
each other's company, like like to be like touchy, Like
that's I would I would never not have that in relationship.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
Yeah. And I feel like it also differentiates.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Fucking big words, thank.
Speaker 4 (27:08):
You, let me repeat it. I feel like I fucked
it up a bit, differentiates.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Sounded perfect to me.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
Yeah, that was differentiates between a friendship and a relationship.
I feel because like anyone could hang out and just
like spend quality time together, you know, but I feel
like this.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
That's another one quality time.
Speaker 4 (27:29):
That's what you just said your love language was no
act service. Oh yeah, sorry, I'm getting so confused. I
remember one night I was at an event and Lockie
was like calling and we were chatting on the phone.
And I think we were like having an argument, and
I was with this gay couple, my stylist Paul and
(27:53):
his partner, and his partner was explaining to me all
about the attachment styles attachment styles and he was like, look, babe,
this is what locky is. And I'm like, wow, you're
so knowledgeable. I'm like I loved how much he knew.
And he was like, it's all about understanding where someone's
(28:13):
coming from and what they need from you. Yes, that's
that's going.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
To help you a lot, so much, Yeah, so much.
You've got to meet each other's needs.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Who are you laughing?
Speaker 4 (28:23):
And I'm laughing because I'm like, am I really learning
relationship with vite from cal?
Speaker 3 (28:28):
I told you I've turned over a new leaf in
these last six months and I'm loving it and I'm
loving it, and everything in terms of relationships are like improving,
Like it's I'm just like on this trajectory where like
I'm wanting to be the best version of myself and
I'm wanting to have like strong relationships, not just like
with like you know, your your girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever, but.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Like for your friends and your family, like everything you
know so true and.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
The more you learn about it, the better you are,
and like the better you can be with people, you know,
Like it's crazy, but yeah, I've learned so much, especially
like even off the Tay Psychology at a couple of
sessions there on.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
This night and day we go back. Yeah, I'm gonna
continue to see this second.
Speaker 4 (29:06):
I really need to go back. But the thing that
lost me last time, I feel like it's really hard
to find one that's right for you. But the lady
that I went back to last time, I really liked
her because she, like the first relationship counsel Locke and
I went to, I feel like she was like siding
with him, and I'm like, okay, you don't know anyway,
(29:29):
I felt like she sided. I felt like judged by
the first one, and I was like.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Going back to you like my side.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
No, no, no, no, no, no, that's so funny. Oh
you can't hear's it? You're fucking mor Oh my god,
that's so funny. No, that's not what I was thinking.
But then the last one that was like she didn't
take sides, and I was like, okay, I like her,
(29:58):
like she pretty much said like yeah, that's pretty fucked
up what she's doing. But she's doing it because of
her trauma and we need to get to the bottom
of that. But your reaction is also not good. So
I went back to her just alone and the one
thing that like, I was like, I don't understand, and
it stuck with me to this day, is she was like,
(30:20):
you just got to be present, and I was like,
what you lost me?
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
They say words like that and you're like, what are
you on about? Like the psycholoists I saw, She's like,
you just got to learn acceptance, like accept everything, like
if things are not going right, accept it, if it's
not going your way, accepted.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
No, I'm not fucking accepting it. I'm not accepting it.
I'm not accepting.
Speaker 4 (30:40):
But then you do you say that to her though?
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (30:43):
I was like, yeah, because you've got to be like
completely transparent with the psychologist for them to work obviously,
and you and do the best job for you, right,
because it's easy for me.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
I was in Fiji right this. In Australia, I could
have just.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
Been like she's this, she's that, like I'm fucking perfect,
you know, But then like I'm not going to get
any like constructive advice, right, yeah, or like a neutral standpoint,
So I say all my flaws, everything I've done wrong,
all the trauma that I've brought a relationship. Yes, then
I've said what she does. And then the psychologis will
be like, well, she's doing this because you've done this,
or because you're doing this, then I've stopped doing what
(31:17):
she said not to do.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
And like it's working. I'm like, are you a psychologist
or a miracle? Ah?
Speaker 3 (31:23):
Yeah nah, But I would recommend, like, if you're going
through a bit of a tough time with your with
your spouse, like go to psychologists, like actual, like they
are good.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
If you get a good one, like it would be
night and day. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
Have you seen the show on Netflix called Couple's Therapy. No,
So it's like a show and it's basically these couples
and it's real life people having real life problems in
the relationship and everything's just obviously recording for on Netflix.
And like, if you think your relationship, you're going through
a hard time in your relationship, watch that. Watch that
because some of these people's are relationships are fucking next level.
(32:00):
Some people being with each other for like fifteen years.
They sit in these seats with the psychologists and they
hate each other, hate each other together just.
Speaker 4 (32:10):
But I guess that's why they're there in the first place.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
To try and fix try and fix it. Yeah, but I.
Speaker 4 (32:14):
Feel like sometimes you just can't get over that resentment
if there's too much.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
Yeah, And if you like hold onto things, it'll come
and bite you in the arse in the long run.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
And that's what's happened with me in the past.
Speaker 4 (32:25):
I don't hold onto it. I'm like, whatever, you're good now,
you're showing up for me.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
No, But I mean more so, like if something's irking
you and like you just don't want to bring it
up because you think that it's going to cause an argument,
so you just hold onto it, right, you let it
go whatever. Then you have these thoughts they go come
by every week you're like, oh, fuck, give me again,
he's doing the same thing again. Eventually it'll come out
and it'll come out like fucking fireworks. So it's bet
(32:50):
to just speak about it rather than let it build
up inside, because when it comes out in an argument,
it is full chuck.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Yeah. I think there was a time in my life,
like maybe like maybe like a year and a half
ago when I realized that like I like crazy girls.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
Like I remember I was in Sydney, right, and we
had this massive argument.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Like it was you're like an ex. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
We had this massive argument and I was like, you
know what, I'm not I'm not going to be staying
with you tonight in this hotel.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
So I'm just going to go out and you can
just go to the hotel.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
I'll get a new room, right, And then she went
into the room kicking off whatever, and I was like
I'm going out, fuck it, like whatever. I went out
and I came back that night, checked in, booked a
new room. The guy that booked me the room pat
me in this in the room next door to her,
right next door to my previous room. So I've come
in a bit drunk or whatever. I've got into the room,
(33:44):
laid the bed and be like, fuck, this night's been
a fucking nightmare. That's all I can do is my
ex just yelling about my eater, like her friends, Hey,
he's a fuck where he's there, he's that. And I'm like,
oh my god, she's crazy and I can't even sleep no,
right because all my stuff is in there in that
room as well, and like I just got her literally
slagging me off on the phone, like and do everything.
So I've gone back in the room and I and
(34:05):
I was like I can literally fucking hear you give
me off, Like what's the goal? You need to relax?
And then she goes get out of my room. She
grabs my suitcase off the fucking balcony right clause all
across Sydney my two two and a half brand sunglasses
Detas Gold ones.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Yeah, drops them on the floor, stamps up to them.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
I'm like, this is crazy, Like I'm never putting myself
in this situation again. Then I was like, it's so hot,
She's so hot. And then I say in the night
that anyway, it's that crazy sex. And I did use
the stair room.
Speaker 4 (34:36):
I wonder why guys like a bit of psycho. I
think it's just like you want someone who keeps you
on your tie.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
Yeah, somebody that's like firm and like I feel like
it's hot. It's like sexy, you know, because.
Speaker 4 (34:46):
It's like, don't fucking disrespect me?
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Yes, yeah that one. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Obviously, again there's levels to it, and like to have
a healthy relationship, you can't just be crazy all the time.
But having a bit of bark to you is like
it's attractive.
Speaker 4 (34:57):
Yeah, But honestly, I don't think she needed to take
it that far. But I mean, if I'd had a
couple of drinks and me maybe ten years ago before kids,
sounds like a sky Wheeley thinks, Yes, like I feel
like I would have done the most crazy shit. Yeah,
you just need to keep the spice alive. You don't
have to be toxic.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Yeah, you just need to keep.
Speaker 4 (35:19):
The spice alive and just have firm boundaries and not Yeah.
I think being a pushover and allowing things you don't
want to allow to keep a reoccurring.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Yeah, you're setting yourself up a failure.
Speaker 4 (35:31):
Yeah you are. You are for sure?
Speaker 3 (35:33):
All right, guys. That's a wrap for today's episode. Make
sure you subscribe to the podcast. If you want to
hear more, follow all the offer action over on our Instagram,
sky dot Weekly and car dot dev or at Sky
and Carlum Podcasts, and if you want to ask us
any further questions or chat to our producers, you can
email us as anytime at Skyancarlem at all the podcasts
(35:55):
dot com dot au
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