September 10, 2025 • 22 mins
Today is R U OK Day so we wanted to have a bit of a deeper conversation on todays episode about our mental health.
What do our bad days look like and how can we notice them coming, as well as what we do to help ourselves.
Plus why comparison culture can be really bad for your wellbeing.
If you need support at all, Lifeline is always available on 13 11 14.
Or you can visit:
https://www.lifeline.org.au/
https://www.ruok.org.au/
https://headspace.org.au/
LINKS
- Follow @skye.wheatley on Instagram
- Follow @cal.davee on Instagram
- Follow @skyeandcallumpodcast on Instagram
- Follow @novapodcastsofficial on Instagram
- Email us HERE - skyeandcallum@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Hosts: Skye Wheatley and Callum Hole
Executive Producer: Rachael Hart
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Nova Entertainment acknowledges the traditional custodians of the land on which we produce our podcasts, the Gadigal People of the Eora Nation. We pay our respect to Elders past and present.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This podcast was recorded on Buddy lung Land and produced
in Now. All right, we're on.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Bring the action. Hi guys, welcome back. It's going col
here now. Normally our podcast conversations are quite fun and
fluffy and bit ridiculous sometimes, but we've got something a
little bit more serious to touch on today. It is
are you okay?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Day? So all things mental health?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Right, things mental health. We're going to deep dive cal
Are you okay?
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Yes, thank you, sky, I am okay. Thanks for asking.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
And I feel like more people should be asking others,
especially than those that are close around them if they're okay.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Oh, just you know, I feel like mental health is
everyone has some level of mental health these days because
of how fast paced life is and it's stressful, and
you know, with social media and everything, it's it's not
hard to have a down day or compare your life
to others and feel shit about yourself or get into
(01:06):
those ruts where you're like, oh, you know, a bit
sad today. And as a girl with ADHD, I have
a lot of emotions. So yeah, I'm I'm good. I
feel like I manage my mental health really well. But yeah,
it's it's important to ask men especially I feel because
you guys kind of close down, don't you.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Yeah, I like it's just like something that most guys
don't want to talk about. And I remember saying this
a lot in the Jungle, like a lot of girls
talk about their mental health and stuff like that. But yes,
I think it's frowned upon when guys talk about their
mental health, which.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Is so weird. I feel like we need to change that.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Yeah, And I feel like like over the last couple
of years, it is becoming more acceptable for guys to
start talking about their mental health, and I feel like
it's going a long way, and it's going in the
right direction, you know.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Yeah, but even because of that taboo, you know, that
would even cause problems for guys because they feel like
they have to put on a front or fake their
emotions or how they really feel, because so that would
be really hard.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Well, yeah, I think it's like you looked at as like, oh,
you're the masculin energy, you're the strong one, You're the.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
One that break down.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
So then like when you are feeling the type of way,
you don't want to like express that to anyone because
like you're like, oh, I feel wrong by doing this.
I'm not supposed to be doing this, but it's like, no,
men and women can feel equally as emotional or a
certain things.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Two percent don't ever be afraid to speak up and
let others know how you feel. But I also think
it's important to have people in your life who will
ask those questions and like get it out of you,
because a lot of people are closed off and do
feel really embarrassed about talking about their mental health, and
a lot of people are probably a bit ashamed of it.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Yeah, I was ashamed of it if I was under
down there, I was like, oh, like, this is not me,
Like people know me as like this like happy, go
lucky guy, like unfazed, unbothered like and I'm like, that's
the the persona that I have to like up when
I'm like so when I do feel shit, I'm like,
this is not who I am, and well it's normal.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
I need to tell myself it's normal.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
It's not normal, And I think it's important to share
that with your audience as well, so they don't think
is there something wrong with me? Like if they're following
all these people that are just always happy, always positive,
nothing's going wrong in their life, they're probably like, well, yeah,
I'm a fuck up, Like I feel like it's easy
to really put yourself down and compare.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Because you're you don't feel like you're the you're an abnormal.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Look, yeah, you're you're you've got abnormal feelings or thoughts
or you're not doing as normal.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Minority. Yeah, like you're in a minority. Why are you
looking so confused?
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Like it's like minority means like, do you're the norm?
Speaker 1 (03:48):
No, you're not, You're not the norm. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
So if a guy is feeling the type of way
that like, you know, feeling a bit emotional or is
mental health taking a bit of a bit of a hit,
and he doesn't see guys expressing their mental health, then
he would feel like an abnormal glaw.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Yeah, he would feel like it's not okay.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
To do that.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Yeah, he would feel like an abnormality.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
I wonder why that is for men, Like why.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
I don't know, I don't know what. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
I definitely need to change that.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
It must be just because, like I said, the masculine
energy guys have this thing a bit of a weight
than their shoulders, that like they need to be the
strongest in the household. Feeling the wife to Nila and
the kids and you know what I mean. Yeah, so
like they've got to stay strong for the family in
a sense. Yeah, stools typically can be more emotional.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Oh, I cry all the time, and I will cry
in front of people, Like I'm never embarrassed to. I'm
just someone who will just let you know how I'm feeling.
Like I feel like you can read my face, you
can read my energy, like if I'm sad, if I'm happy,
if I'm low on energy, like you can tell. But
a lot of people, you know, shut off to that.
But my mom was the saying because she was a
(04:54):
single mom, she always had to like have a brave
face and like if we saw her cry, it was serious,
it was not good. But I'm the opposite. My kids
see me cry all the time.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Like mom, not again, Yeah, like, oh.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
She's dropped an egg. Just wait for it. There's a
cyclone coming. But no, I feel like it's good to
just let your emotion out. I feel like that's one
way I've learned to deal with my mental health. And
if I am struggling, I feel like having a good
cry or just like letting off the steam.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Yeah, talking to your friend, Yeah, talking.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
To your family, you know, inventing.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Yeah, it's because I feel like if you bottle things up,
then it gets to a point where it's so overwhelming
it makes you feel even worse.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Yeah, if you just like talk to your close friends
or family about like how you're feeling, you'll instantly feel better,
you know, And it shouldn't be any judgment anyway. With
your family and friends, if they're truly your friends, they
won't judge you, you succeed and like be there to
support you.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Right.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Well, that's why they've got counselors. Like most people you'll
find these days have a counselor or a shrink or
a shrink, a counselor, yeah, or someone they would just
go and you know, open up to someone they can
go to and tell their life to that and they
won't feel judged.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Yeah, like someenty with a neutral like stunpoint.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Yeah, or they can say like, oh, well there's a
reason why you're doing this, and it's because of that,
Like you don't have to feel ashamed of why you're
doing these certain things or why you're feeling this way,
because it's this is why I feel like I definitely
need to go get counseling. I definitely have some embedded traumas.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
But I we all do. No doesn't have trauma. Trauma.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Everyone has trauma, but it's like I kind of ignore it.
I'm like, oh, too busy for that. I'm like, oh,
just yeah, I don't really feel like I'm packing what
what my traumas are.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
It can be like a kind of words, yeah, like
when you take the lid off and it all comes out.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Exactly like a kettle. Yeah, but I'm not. I tell
people that I'm like, I'm mentally unwell like and people
are not.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
I'm just laughing for you.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
No, no, yeah, like I might, but aren't we all
a little bit? And it's okay? So what do you
find gets you into those funks if you ever have
been in one?
Speaker 3 (07:12):
I feel like for me, like if my mental health
is taking taking a turn, because it's sometimes it can
be like one day I wake up, I'm just like
awful shit today, few ship today, and then you just
kind of get on with your day and then irons
itself out.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
The next day You're good again.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Right, But if I see myself starting to feel a
little bit more like in a negative light over like
a few days. Then I kind of reflect on what
I'm doing differently, and usually it's something that I'm doing
differently in my life that's causing me to feel that.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Way, Like what not going to the gym?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Correct, that's a perfect example, like eating bad food, eating
bad food.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Yeah, Like just like if I'm not in my routine
getting up going to the gym and I'm just like
on my phone scrolling or not feeling productive and I
just continue to do that, then I feel like I'm
on a downward spiral.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
And as soon as you, you know, get yourself back
on the whole and go through your normal day and
doing the things that you enjoy, like spending time with
your friends, your family, filling up your cup, yeah, filling
up your own carp then you just kind of go
back to your normal self.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Yeah, and you feel better.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
But it's hard to like know what it is, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
I think over time, I've learned to know why I
feel certain ways, and it's because I made that feeling
like I'm not productive.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Yes, I'm like that's a big one for me.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Yeah, And you feel guilty.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I feel guilty You're not doing enough.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Like I need to be better. I think I need
to practice this too, is more self love and like,
you know, speaking to myself kindly. Like yeah, if I
have a day where I don't feel good, or I
have a you know, a shit day, I don't have
ten on or I just feel like sluggish, that can
get me down. But you know what's so crazy is
(08:47):
I actually spend I was thinking about this this morning.
I'm like, I feel like I'm so much more aware
of my mental health since becoming a mom, and like
your emotions are so heightened when you have kids and
it unpacks a lot. Yeah, right, Like whereas before I
(09:08):
was like I'm fine, I'm happy, I'm good, like I
don't have trauma, but now I'm like, oh no, girl,
you you need to like work on yourself and you
want to be better for the kids too. It's comes
down to like putting so much pressure on myself too.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Yeah, that's another one for me, Like I've i feel
like a lot of times if I'm not busy with
work or like I've got like you know, a week off.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Or something, I stress.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yeah, I stress.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
But then also like I'm I'm spending more time than
you know, just on my phone on social media and stuff,
and like a big toxic trait that I have is
like I'm comparing my life to like people that I
see online, and that's never a good thing, you know,
Like especially when these guys are like you know, they
could be in their forties or lair thirties or something.
I'm like, why am I not there yet? Like why
is his life so much better than mine? Like what
am I doing wrong? Like you know what I mean,
(09:57):
I'm not taking to the fact that like I'm still
on my own path, in.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
My own thing and when you was younger, like, yeah,
I would. I will admit this, which is not good
because it's like my job and I love it and
I'm passionate about it. But I think, actually no, because
I had I was doing stuff to my face before
working in the industry. But I feel like the reason
why I do so much is because of social media,
(10:22):
like I do think you know, you have to use
it appropriately and know your limits, and if like looking
at other people's lives is going to get you down,
you need to probably just like rein it in a
little bit.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Yeah, that's right, and you've got to remember it as bad.
Like a lot of things you see on social media
are highlights, right, Yeah, majority of it is highlights, all
of its highlight. So like if you're just going through
your social media and you're seeing highlights of everyone, then
of course you're going to be like, well, why am
I not doing anything that everyone else is doing?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Do? You're not so crazy? I'll tell you this. When
I before I went to Europe, I would see all
the Instagram girls that I follow that all in Europe,
always in Europe, Europe, summer, this, that, and then I'm
like I have to go, like I have to be there,
like I need to experience this because I was living
through them and I'm like, nah, I'm booking it. And
(11:16):
then I went and I'm like this actually looks better online. Yeah,
Like it is crazy. Like I would go to restaurants
and now I'd be like, this is not the best food
I've ever had, But like when you're looking at this
stunning girl holding up a fork with spaghetti on it,
You're like, oh my god, I'm missing out. I've got
to go get that spaghetti from Europe.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
But apparently Dubuy is like that as well.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
I recently sort of paused literally this week, and it
was like an influencer from Australia. A girl had gone
over to Dubai and she was basically saying that, like,
it's not all as it seems like you see it
all online. It's like all this beautiful like exotic country,
like with all these nice restaurants, nice cars, beautiful lifestyle.
And she's like, no, it's not That's what it is
on Instagram, but like behind the scenes, it's not like that.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Did she go into what behind the scenes looked like
she can She.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Was just saying there was nothing like it was perceives
us online and she was there two days and she
ended ups coming home.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Yeah, but I mean like I feel like everything just
for some reason, looks better in a photo. Yeah, and
like the colors are brighter. Everything's perfect. It's you know,
like a perfect moment in time. But when you're there
living it, it's just different. Yeah, it's just so different.
Like you don't see the stress of like lugging your
(12:31):
bloody suitcase up this massive hill or going down and
up one hundred stairs in Positano, Like you don't see
that side.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Yeah, And I feel like, yeah, the social media's impacting
a lot of people's mental health.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
In a lawn, you know, that's why there is so
much of it these days.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Well, yeah, because like you're to think, remember, like I
don't know, maybe thirty years ago, when there was less
social media platforms and stuff, people were just kind of
more happier, and I have less mental health issues because
they weren't comparing their lives to everyone else online exactly.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
They were living it in real life. Like now we're
just like, yeah, robots living through a screen, and it's
pretty scary. The last bad mental health day I had
was when Crunchy slipped another disk in her back. So
I have two dash out sausage. Dogs are really prone
to like back problems, and she'd already had two surgeries
(13:21):
and the last surgery she had, the doctor was like
she might never be able to walk again, and it
was just like so stressful, and I'm like, what do
people do And he's like, oh, well, sometimes you have
to put them down. And it was just the most
stressful day of my life. And then she did it again.
And I'd already spent like twenty thousand dollars doing her surgery,
(13:43):
so because it's pretty expensive, so I was like, oh
my god, I'm going to be up for another like
massive cost what if she's not going to be able
to walk ever again? Like this is so scary, She's
going to be Okay, I'm like, how am I going
to pay for this? And then the next day I
just remember moping around and just eating every single thing
(14:04):
in the cupboard.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Oh see, that's the thing.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
It's easy comfort, like food and stuff like that, or
just to be mopping around. It's easy comfort. Yeah, but
it makes it worse long terms, yeah, like it.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Just makes you feel But sometimes it does make me
feel better. I'm like, just give yourself this day.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Yeah, oh yeah, a day.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Yeah, of course, don't feel guilty. Just give yourself a
day where you can just feel sorry for yourself for
just you know, a couple hours, do whatever you do
to help your mental health, and then come back tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Yeah, start it again, fresh.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Start again. Tomorrow's a new day. And then I was like, nah,
I'm not gonna let this get the better of me.
So I took her to the vets and I was like,
I'm going to create trainer because they were like, we
need to do surgery straight away here at the risk
blah blah blah, And I'm like I'm just gonna get
a crate for her and put her on bed rest,
give me some painkillers. I'll take her home. I'll look
after her. I did walking within two weeks. But mindset
(15:04):
is such a big thing, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Mindset?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Yeah, And like, have you noticed that if you're in
a negative mindset, things just go wrong or one hundred
one thing after the other. It's just downward spiral.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
It is.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
And I'm a big believer in an upward spiral, Like
think positive, do things that make you happy, like you know,
and then good things will come. And it's proven for me,
Like it's.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Scientifically proven though that your brain can create your reality.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Yeah, it can.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Your mind is so powerful, so powerful, and it is
actually so powerful.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
But I've only ever been able to manifest. Actually no,
I probably manifested a lot in my life. But the
one massive thing that I did manifest that I knew
I manifested was Big Brother, Like going on Big Brother.
I was like, I knew I did that with my mind.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
That's crazy.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Is it so cool? It's so cool? What something that
fills your cup?
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Something that fills my cup is just spending quality time
with people that are close that I got close around
me without like needing to like do an activity.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Does that make sense, like just being someone's presence.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah, Like I've got two very very good friends.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
You know, it'd be my boys for years and years now,
and like we could just sit on the sofa and
have a chat and like that.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
To me, it fills my cup because we have laughs.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
About anything and anything, you know, like and there's no
like external activities to like do things that makes sense
to distract distructed literally just spending time, just spending quality
time with your best friends. I feel like as a guy,
there's nothing that can ever come cross that.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
That's another thing I found in the jungle because we
don't we didn't have any of like the distractions of
like talking about other people or like talking about stuff
that's happened in their daily life. It was just like
really peeling it back, like where were you born with
your dad's name? Like don't you find that when you
meet new people now? You don't really have no, I don't.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Really connections aren't a strong because you're always distracted by something.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
It's not like a proper just conversation.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
Yeah. Yeah, it's not like getting down to the nitty gritty,
But I feels your cup, I'm the opposite, Like I
find that like yesterday I went to my friend's house
because the teachers had like a strike. I don't know
what happened, but basically Forrest was off school and I
went over to my friend's house so he could have
a play with her sons, and we just sat around
(17:29):
the pool all day. And I'm like, I'm getting so anxious,
like I hate just doing nothing, Like I really don't
think it's good for my mind or my mental health.
Like I've really struggled to sit still and just like
I just want to get up and like move around,
and like back in the day, I used to do
all my own admin, like I would do my own
(17:51):
emails and reply to brands myself. And then I'm like, nah,
this is really really stuffing with my mental health, Like
I actually can't do it anymore, because like sitting at
the computer, even though I was being so productive and
doing admin, it was making me feel that depressed and anxious.
So I was like I got to stop. So yeah,
(18:12):
the opposite is for me is like going to the gym,
spending time with the girls, and but like going to
lunch or getting dressed up and going somewhere and then
coming back to the room and just chatting and yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
And it's just like I feel like everyone has their
own thing that make that feels of their cup. Yeah,
And I feel like, no matter how busy your life gets,
you need to still do that. It could be something
as simple as reading a book before you go to bed, right, Yeah,
Like you've had a big day at work, you feel
like shit, things haven't gone your way, so you're like, oh,
I can't in bods read the books and I'm just
gonna go to bed.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
That is going to make you feel even worse because
that book is filling your cup.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
So absolutely got to continue to do the things that
make you happy, even if you don't feel like doing it.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Yeah. You know that's another thing too, Like way back
in the day when we did the reno, we Lockie
would work on the house every weekend and I'm like
I would have to be with Forest and it was
just us, and I'm like, I really miss family time.
And I feel like that was a really sad time
in my life too, because I'm like, I really appreciate
(19:13):
us all hanging out as a family. Yeah, yeah, and
like I really missed that, so I felt like once
that he'd done the reno upstairs, and we decided collectively, like,
we're just going to pay other people to do it,
because you're missing out on these like precious memories and
years of forest life. So let's just have someone else
(19:34):
do it. And now we do get to have family weekends,
and it's yeah, it fills your cup. It's good, nice
wholesome weekends.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
I'm just keeping busy in general. I feel like if
you're having a lot of like mental health problems, it
might be because you're you're not busy enough.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
But also sometimes you can be too busy and that
can affect your mental health.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Is true, That's true. I feel like there's a.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
Middle grounds, yes, where you can be busy enough so
you're pondering and being spending too much time in your
own heads.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
I can help, I think, you know, Like for me.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
What causes most momental breakdowns is being so time poor
and so busy. I'm like I didn't just never get
to breathe or just like sit with my thoughts or
just like feel like I don't have to get up
and go somewhere or do something like, Yeah, I just
want a week where I can just be like, you
know what, I've got no deliverables this week, I've got
(20:29):
no work. I just want to get up, pack my
kids on lunches, drive them to school, come home, clean
the house, go to the gym.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
No, I don't think that that. I think that's what
you think in your head. That would make you feel good.
But I feel like like if I've got too much
free time in my hands.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
That's not free time though what I just mentioned. Just
doing mom life.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
Yeah, but not do like the work stuff I'm talking about,
like not doing work and stuff.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
I find it really overwhelming and stressful to do both. Really, Yeah,
like I really stress.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
I mean I can't do comics. I don't have kids.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
But like if I'm if I've got like loads of deliverables,
then it could impact my mental health. Really all the
things to do, like get stressed. Yeah, I got stress,
so I'm contrary to be here. It can't be everywhere
at once. That can make me a bit anxious. But
then on the other side, if I've got nothing, I'm like,
I'm so unproductive that I'm not stimulated enough that my
mental has even worse.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Definitely all about the balance. It is we must find
the balance. In life guys. But yeah, if you're feeling
sad or anxious or any type of way, don't be
afraid to open up to your friend because they shouldn't
judge you. Good friends will never judge, Your family will
never judge. We won't judge. You can d m us
chat to us. I love going through my DM.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Yeah, and even even if it's not you feeding like
mental health issues and maybe you should just reach out
to you one of your friends and just check.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
In on them, Yes, exactly, just help them get through it.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Yeah, because you never know they might need your help
and you don't even know it yet. So I think
it doesn't go harm just reaching out and just asking
if they're okay. Absolutely, And if you didn't want to
open up to any of your friends or family, there
is a lifeline that you can reach out to that
are always there to help you.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
The number for that one.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Is thirteen eleven fourteen. Give them a call, have a chat.
It'll probably make you feel a whole lot better.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
All right, guys, thank you again for listening in to
the podcast. Make sure you do subscribe to the podcast
if you want to hear more. Follow all your off
action over on our instagrams, Sky Weekly and Kyle Dave
or at Sky and Calumn podcast And if you want
to ask us any questions, you can chat to our
producers email them anytime at Skyanclum at normal Podcasts dot
(22:43):
com dot au
This podcast was recorded on Buddy lung Land and produced
in Now. All right, we're on.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Bring the action. Hi guys, welcome back. It's going col
here now. Normally our podcast conversations are quite fun and
fluffy and bit ridiculous sometimes, but we've got something a
little bit more serious to touch on today. It is
are you okay?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Day? So all things mental health?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Right, things mental health. We're going to deep dive cal
Are you okay?
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Yes, thank you, sky, I am okay. Thanks for asking.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
And I feel like more people should be asking others,
especially than those that are close around them if they're okay.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Oh, just you know, I feel like mental health is
everyone has some level of mental health these days because
of how fast paced life is and it's stressful, and
you know, with social media and everything, it's it's not
hard to have a down day or compare your life
to others and feel shit about yourself or get into
(01:06):
those ruts where you're like, oh, you know, a bit
sad today. And as a girl with ADHD, I have
a lot of emotions. So yeah, I'm I'm good. I
feel like I manage my mental health really well. But yeah,
it's it's important to ask men especially I feel because
you guys kind of close down, don't you.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Yeah, I like it's just like something that most guys
don't want to talk about. And I remember saying this
a lot in the Jungle, like a lot of girls
talk about their mental health and stuff like that. But yes,
I think it's frowned upon when guys talk about their
mental health, which.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Is so weird. I feel like we need to change that.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Yeah, And I feel like like over the last couple
of years, it is becoming more acceptable for guys to
start talking about their mental health, and I feel like
it's going a long way, and it's going in the
right direction, you know.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Yeah, but even because of that taboo, you know, that
would even cause problems for guys because they feel like
they have to put on a front or fake their
emotions or how they really feel, because so that would
be really hard.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Well, yeah, I think it's like you looked at as like, oh,
you're the masculin energy, you're the strong one, You're the.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
One that break down.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
So then like when you are feeling the type of way,
you don't want to like express that to anyone because
like you're like, oh, I feel wrong by doing this.
I'm not supposed to be doing this, but it's like, no,
men and women can feel equally as emotional or a
certain things.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Two percent don't ever be afraid to speak up and
let others know how you feel. But I also think
it's important to have people in your life who will
ask those questions and like get it out of you,
because a lot of people are closed off and do
feel really embarrassed about talking about their mental health, and
a lot of people are probably a bit ashamed of it.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Yeah, I was ashamed of it if I was under
down there, I was like, oh, like, this is not me,
Like people know me as like this like happy, go
lucky guy, like unfazed, unbothered like and I'm like, that's
the the persona that I have to like up when
I'm like so when I do feel shit, I'm like,
this is not who I am, and well it's normal.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
I need to tell myself it's normal.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
It's not normal, And I think it's important to share
that with your audience as well, so they don't think
is there something wrong with me? Like if they're following
all these people that are just always happy, always positive,
nothing's going wrong in their life, they're probably like, well, yeah,
I'm a fuck up, Like I feel like it's easy
to really put yourself down and compare.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Because you're you don't feel like you're the you're an abnormal.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Look, yeah, you're you're you've got abnormal feelings or thoughts
or you're not doing as normal.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Minority. Yeah, like you're in a minority. Why are you
looking so confused?
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Like it's like minority means like, do you're the norm?
Speaker 1 (03:48):
No, you're not, You're not the norm. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
So if a guy is feeling the type of way
that like, you know, feeling a bit emotional or is
mental health taking a bit of a bit of a hit,
and he doesn't see guys expressing their mental health, then
he would feel like an abnormal glaw.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Yeah, he would feel like it's not okay.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
To do that.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Yeah, he would feel like an abnormality.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
I wonder why that is for men, Like why.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
I don't know, I don't know what. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
I definitely need to change that.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
It must be just because, like I said, the masculine
energy guys have this thing a bit of a weight
than their shoulders, that like they need to be the
strongest in the household. Feeling the wife to Nila and
the kids and you know what I mean. Yeah, so
like they've got to stay strong for the family in
a sense. Yeah, stools typically can be more emotional.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Oh, I cry all the time, and I will cry
in front of people, Like I'm never embarrassed to. I'm
just someone who will just let you know how I'm feeling.
Like I feel like you can read my face, you
can read my energy, like if I'm sad, if I'm happy,
if I'm low on energy, like you can tell. But
a lot of people, you know, shut off to that.
But my mom was the saying because she was a
(04:54):
single mom, she always had to like have a brave
face and like if we saw her cry, it was serious,
it was not good. But I'm the opposite. My kids
see me cry all the time.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Like mom, not again, Yeah, like, oh.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
She's dropped an egg. Just wait for it. There's a
cyclone coming. But no, I feel like it's good to
just let your emotion out. I feel like that's one
way I've learned to deal with my mental health. And
if I am struggling, I feel like having a good
cry or just like letting off the steam.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Yeah, talking to your friend, Yeah, talking.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
To your family, you know, inventing.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Yeah, it's because I feel like if you bottle things up,
then it gets to a point where it's so overwhelming
it makes you feel even worse.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Yeah, if you just like talk to your close friends
or family about like how you're feeling, you'll instantly feel better,
you know, And it shouldn't be any judgment anyway. With
your family and friends, if they're truly your friends, they
won't judge you, you succeed and like be there to
support you.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Right.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Well, that's why they've got counselors. Like most people you'll
find these days have a counselor or a shrink or
a shrink, a counselor, yeah, or someone they would just
go and you know, open up to someone they can
go to and tell their life to that and they
won't feel judged.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Yeah, like someenty with a neutral like stunpoint.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Yeah, or they can say like, oh, well there's a
reason why you're doing this, and it's because of that,
Like you don't have to feel ashamed of why you're
doing these certain things or why you're feeling this way,
because it's this is why I feel like I definitely
need to go get counseling. I definitely have some embedded traumas.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
But I we all do. No doesn't have trauma. Trauma.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Everyone has trauma, but it's like I kind of ignore it.
I'm like, oh, too busy for that. I'm like, oh,
just yeah, I don't really feel like I'm packing what
what my traumas are.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
It can be like a kind of words, yeah, like
when you take the lid off and it all comes out.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Exactly like a kettle. Yeah, but I'm not. I tell
people that I'm like, I'm mentally unwell like and people
are not.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
I'm just laughing for you.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
No, no, yeah, like I might, but aren't we all
a little bit? And it's okay? So what do you
find gets you into those funks if you ever have
been in one?
Speaker 3 (07:12):
I feel like for me, like if my mental health
is taking taking a turn, because it's sometimes it can
be like one day I wake up, I'm just like
awful shit today, few ship today, and then you just
kind of get on with your day and then irons
itself out.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
The next day You're good again.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Right, But if I see myself starting to feel a
little bit more like in a negative light over like
a few days. Then I kind of reflect on what
I'm doing differently, and usually it's something that I'm doing
differently in my life that's causing me to feel that.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Way, Like what not going to the gym?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Correct, that's a perfect example, like eating bad food, eating
bad food.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Yeah, Like just like if I'm not in my routine
getting up going to the gym and I'm just like
on my phone scrolling or not feeling productive and I
just continue to do that, then I feel like I'm
on a downward spiral.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
And as soon as you, you know, get yourself back
on the whole and go through your normal day and
doing the things that you enjoy, like spending time with
your friends, your family, filling up your cup, yeah, filling
up your own carp then you just kind of go
back to your normal self.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Yeah, and you feel better.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
But it's hard to like know what it is, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
I think over time, I've learned to know why I
feel certain ways, and it's because I made that feeling
like I'm not productive.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Yes, I'm like that's a big one for me.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Yeah, And you feel guilty.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I feel guilty You're not doing enough.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Like I need to be better. I think I need
to practice this too, is more self love and like,
you know, speaking to myself kindly. Like yeah, if I
have a day where I don't feel good, or I
have a you know, a shit day, I don't have
ten on or I just feel like sluggish, that can
get me down. But you know what's so crazy is
(08:47):
I actually spend I was thinking about this this morning.
I'm like, I feel like I'm so much more aware
of my mental health since becoming a mom, and like
your emotions are so heightened when you have kids and
it unpacks a lot. Yeah, right, Like whereas before I
(09:08):
was like I'm fine, I'm happy, I'm good, like I
don't have trauma, but now I'm like, oh no, girl,
you you need to like work on yourself and you
want to be better for the kids too. It's comes
down to like putting so much pressure on myself too.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Yeah, that's another one for me, Like I've i feel
like a lot of times if I'm not busy with
work or like I've got like you know, a week off.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Or something, I stress.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yeah, I stress.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
But then also like I'm I'm spending more time than
you know, just on my phone on social media and stuff,
and like a big toxic trait that I have is
like I'm comparing my life to like people that I
see online, and that's never a good thing, you know,
Like especially when these guys are like you know, they
could be in their forties or lair thirties or something.
I'm like, why am I not there yet? Like why
is his life so much better than mine? Like what
am I doing wrong? Like you know what I mean,
(09:57):
I'm not taking to the fact that like I'm still
on my own path, in.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
My own thing and when you was younger, like, yeah,
I would. I will admit this, which is not good
because it's like my job and I love it and
I'm passionate about it. But I think, actually no, because
I had I was doing stuff to my face before
working in the industry. But I feel like the reason
why I do so much is because of social media,
(10:22):
like I do think you know, you have to use
it appropriately and know your limits, and if like looking
at other people's lives is going to get you down,
you need to probably just like rein it in a
little bit.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Yeah, that's right, and you've got to remember it as bad.
Like a lot of things you see on social media
are highlights, right, Yeah, majority of it is highlights, all
of its highlight. So like if you're just going through
your social media and you're seeing highlights of everyone, then
of course you're going to be like, well, why am
I not doing anything that everyone else is doing?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Do? You're not so crazy? I'll tell you this. When
I before I went to Europe, I would see all
the Instagram girls that I follow that all in Europe,
always in Europe, Europe, summer, this, that, and then I'm
like I have to go, like I have to be there,
like I need to experience this because I was living
through them and I'm like, nah, I'm booking it. And
(11:16):
then I went and I'm like this actually looks better online. Yeah,
Like it is crazy. Like I would go to restaurants
and now I'd be like, this is not the best food
I've ever had, But like when you're looking at this
stunning girl holding up a fork with spaghetti on it,
You're like, oh my god, I'm missing out. I've got
to go get that spaghetti from Europe.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
But apparently Dubuy is like that as well.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
I recently sort of paused literally this week, and it
was like an influencer from Australia. A girl had gone
over to Dubai and she was basically saying that, like,
it's not all as it seems like you see it
all online. It's like all this beautiful like exotic country,
like with all these nice restaurants, nice cars, beautiful lifestyle.
And she's like, no, it's not That's what it is
on Instagram, but like behind the scenes, it's not like that.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Did she go into what behind the scenes looked like
she can She.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Was just saying there was nothing like it was perceives
us online and she was there two days and she
ended ups coming home.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Yeah, but I mean like I feel like everything just
for some reason, looks better in a photo. Yeah, and
like the colors are brighter. Everything's perfect. It's you know,
like a perfect moment in time. But when you're there
living it, it's just different. Yeah, it's just so different.
Like you don't see the stress of like lugging your
(12:31):
bloody suitcase up this massive hill or going down and
up one hundred stairs in Positano, Like you don't see
that side.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Yeah, And I feel like, yeah, the social media's impacting
a lot of people's mental health.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
In a lawn, you know, that's why there is so
much of it these days.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Well, yeah, because like you're to think, remember, like I
don't know, maybe thirty years ago, when there was less
social media platforms and stuff, people were just kind of
more happier, and I have less mental health issues because
they weren't comparing their lives to everyone else online exactly.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
They were living it in real life. Like now we're
just like, yeah, robots living through a screen, and it's
pretty scary. The last bad mental health day I had
was when Crunchy slipped another disk in her back. So
I have two dash out sausage. Dogs are really prone
to like back problems, and she'd already had two surgeries
(13:21):
and the last surgery she had, the doctor was like
she might never be able to walk again, and it
was just like so stressful, and I'm like, what do
people do And he's like, oh, well, sometimes you have
to put them down. And it was just the most
stressful day of my life. And then she did it again.
And I'd already spent like twenty thousand dollars doing her surgery,
(13:43):
so because it's pretty expensive, so I was like, oh
my god, I'm going to be up for another like
massive cost what if she's not going to be able
to walk ever again? Like this is so scary, She's
going to be Okay, I'm like, how am I going
to pay for this? And then the next day I
just remember moping around and just eating every single thing
(14:04):
in the cupboard.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Oh see, that's the thing.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
It's easy comfort, like food and stuff like that, or
just to be mopping around. It's easy comfort. Yeah, but
it makes it worse long terms, yeah, like it.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Just makes you feel But sometimes it does make me
feel better. I'm like, just give yourself this day.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Yeah, oh yeah, a day.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Yeah, of course, don't feel guilty. Just give yourself a
day where you can just feel sorry for yourself for
just you know, a couple hours, do whatever you do
to help your mental health, and then come back tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Yeah, start it again, fresh.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Start again. Tomorrow's a new day. And then I was like, nah,
I'm not gonna let this get the better of me.
So I took her to the vets and I was like,
I'm going to create trainer because they were like, we
need to do surgery straight away here at the risk
blah blah blah, And I'm like I'm just gonna get
a crate for her and put her on bed rest,
give me some painkillers. I'll take her home. I'll look
after her. I did walking within two weeks. But mindset
(15:04):
is such a big thing, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Mindset?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Yeah, And like, have you noticed that if you're in
a negative mindset, things just go wrong or one hundred
one thing after the other. It's just downward spiral.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
It is.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
And I'm a big believer in an upward spiral, Like
think positive, do things that make you happy, like you know,
and then good things will come. And it's proven for me,
Like it's.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Scientifically proven though that your brain can create your reality.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Yeah, it can.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Your mind is so powerful, so powerful, and it is
actually so powerful.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
But I've only ever been able to manifest. Actually no,
I probably manifested a lot in my life. But the
one massive thing that I did manifest that I knew
I manifested was Big Brother, Like going on Big Brother.
I was like, I knew I did that with my mind.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
That's crazy.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Is it so cool? It's so cool? What something that
fills your cup?
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Something that fills my cup is just spending quality time
with people that are close that I got close around
me without like needing to like do an activity.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Does that make sense, like just being someone's presence.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah, Like I've got two very very good friends.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
You know, it'd be my boys for years and years now,
and like we could just sit on the sofa and
have a chat and like that.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
To me, it fills my cup because we have laughs.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
About anything and anything, you know, like and there's no
like external activities to like do things that makes sense
to distract distructed literally just spending time, just spending quality
time with your best friends. I feel like as a guy,
there's nothing that can ever come cross that.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
That's another thing I found in the jungle because we
don't we didn't have any of like the distractions of
like talking about other people or like talking about stuff
that's happened in their daily life. It was just like
really peeling it back, like where were you born with
your dad's name? Like don't you find that when you
meet new people now? You don't really have no, I don't.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Really connections aren't a strong because you're always distracted by something.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
It's not like a proper just conversation.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
Yeah. Yeah, it's not like getting down to the nitty gritty,
But I feels your cup, I'm the opposite, Like I
find that like yesterday I went to my friend's house
because the teachers had like a strike. I don't know
what happened, but basically Forrest was off school and I
went over to my friend's house so he could have
a play with her sons, and we just sat around
(17:29):
the pool all day. And I'm like, I'm getting so anxious,
like I hate just doing nothing, Like I really don't
think it's good for my mind or my mental health.
Like I've really struggled to sit still and just like
I just want to get up and like move around,
and like back in the day, I used to do
all my own admin, like I would do my own
(17:51):
emails and reply to brands myself. And then I'm like, nah,
this is really really stuffing with my mental health, Like
I actually can't do it anymore, because like sitting at
the computer, even though I was being so productive and
doing admin, it was making me feel that depressed and anxious.
So I was like I got to stop. So yeah,
(18:12):
the opposite is for me is like going to the gym,
spending time with the girls, and but like going to
lunch or getting dressed up and going somewhere and then
coming back to the room and just chatting and yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
And it's just like I feel like everyone has their
own thing that make that feels of their cup. Yeah,
And I feel like, no matter how busy your life gets,
you need to still do that. It could be something
as simple as reading a book before you go to bed, right, Yeah,
Like you've had a big day at work, you feel
like shit, things haven't gone your way, so you're like, oh,
I can't in bods read the books and I'm just
gonna go to bed.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
That is going to make you feel even worse because
that book is filling your cup.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
So absolutely got to continue to do the things that
make you happy, even if you don't feel like doing it.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Yeah. You know that's another thing too, Like way back
in the day when we did the reno, we Lockie
would work on the house every weekend and I'm like
I would have to be with Forest and it was
just us, and I'm like, I really miss family time.
And I feel like that was a really sad time
in my life too, because I'm like, I really appreciate
(19:13):
us all hanging out as a family. Yeah, yeah, and
like I really missed that, so I felt like once
that he'd done the reno upstairs, and we decided collectively, like,
we're just going to pay other people to do it,
because you're missing out on these like precious memories and
years of forest life. So let's just have someone else
(19:34):
do it. And now we do get to have family weekends,
and it's yeah, it fills your cup. It's good, nice
wholesome weekends.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
I'm just keeping busy in general. I feel like if
you're having a lot of like mental health problems, it
might be because you're you're not busy enough.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
But also sometimes you can be too busy and that
can affect your mental health.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Is true, That's true. I feel like there's a.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
Middle grounds, yes, where you can be busy enough so
you're pondering and being spending too much time in your
own heads.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
I can help, I think, you know, Like for me.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
What causes most momental breakdowns is being so time poor
and so busy. I'm like I didn't just never get
to breathe or just like sit with my thoughts or
just like feel like I don't have to get up
and go somewhere or do something like, Yeah, I just
want a week where I can just be like, you
know what, I've got no deliverables this week, I've got
(20:29):
no work. I just want to get up, pack my
kids on lunches, drive them to school, come home, clean
the house, go to the gym.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
No, I don't think that that. I think that's what
you think in your head. That would make you feel good.
But I feel like like if I've got too much
free time in my hands.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
That's not free time though what I just mentioned. Just
doing mom life.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
Yeah, but not do like the work stuff I'm talking about,
like not doing work and stuff.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
I find it really overwhelming and stressful to do both. Really, Yeah,
like I really stress.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
I mean I can't do comics. I don't have kids.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
But like if I'm if I've got like loads of deliverables,
then it could impact my mental health. Really all the
things to do, like get stressed. Yeah, I got stress,
so I'm contrary to be here. It can't be everywhere
at once. That can make me a bit anxious. But
then on the other side, if I've got nothing, I'm like,
I'm so unproductive that I'm not stimulated enough that my
mental has even worse.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Definitely all about the balance. It is we must find
the balance. In life guys. But yeah, if you're feeling
sad or anxious or any type of way, don't be
afraid to open up to your friend because they shouldn't
judge you. Good friends will never judge, Your family will
never judge. We won't judge. You can d m us
chat to us. I love going through my DM.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Yeah, and even even if it's not you feeding like
mental health issues and maybe you should just reach out
to you one of your friends and just check.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
In on them, Yes, exactly, just help them get through it.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Yeah, because you never know they might need your help
and you don't even know it yet. So I think
it doesn't go harm just reaching out and just asking
if they're okay. Absolutely, And if you didn't want to
open up to any of your friends or family, there
is a lifeline that you can reach out to that
are always there to help you.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
The number for that one.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Is thirteen eleven fourteen. Give them a call, have a chat.
It'll probably make you feel a whole lot better.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
All right, guys, thank you again for listening in to
the podcast. Make sure you do subscribe to the podcast
if you want to hear more. Follow all your off
action over on our instagrams, Sky Weekly and Kyle Dave
or at Sky and Calumn podcast And if you want
to ask us any questions, you can chat to our
producers email them anytime at Skyanclum at normal Podcasts dot
(22:43):
com dot au
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