August 27, 2025 • 30 mins
Trigger Warning: There is mention of domestic violence within this episode, if this impacts you in any way please feel free to skip through.
If you ever need support, you can always reach out to 1800RESPECT or https://1800respect.org.au/
According to Callum, almost all of his relationships have been toxic... So let's unpack what he's learned from them shall we?
Plus Skye opens up about a previous experience with a domestic violence relationship.
And they chat through what icks they can find in people they're dating!
LINKS
- Follow @skye.wheatley on Instagram
- Follow @cal.davee on Instagram
- Follow @skyeandcallumpodcast on Instagram
- Follow @novapodcastsofficial on Instagram
- Email us HERE - skyeandcallum@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Hosts: Skye Wheatley and Callum Hole
Executive Producer: Rachael Hart
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Nova Entertainment acknowledges the traditional custodians of the land on which we produce our podcasts, the Gadigal People of the Eora Nation. We pay our respect to Elders past and present.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This podcast was recorded on Buddy along Land and produced
in Now.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
All right, We're on.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
Bring Should the Key, The Enyway You, Calumn and sky Weekly.
Speaker 4 (00:14):
Oh what did you say?
Speaker 1 (00:17):
I just introduced that, say again, should hold.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Should?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Should?
Speaker 4 (00:29):
I don't know how.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
You like rolls. You was like, should he should?
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Anyway? I was just saying, what was that?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
A bit of better?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Well? Yeah, well ended up today we keep their fresh
and fruity, mister man. Okay, I introduced that. So now
we're going to dive straight into an episode.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
I don't know what episode it is now about we're going,
We're going with the punches, rolling with the punches.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Absolutely. I'm excited for today's episode to me too. We're
going to be touching on toxic relationships and then I
think we've got some stuff to read out from our audience.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Well, we've got to give advice or just our opinion.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
I don't know if we're capable of giving it much.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I think we can.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
We're definitely capable of given advice, But whether it's good
advice or not, it's question, Like that's the question.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Really, yeah, one hundred percent, And like I'll just be
so blunt, like I feel like it's better for someone
to hear the truth than for it to be sugarcoated
so they don't get it mixed up.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Or I'm excited to see your advice.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah, okay, I'm excited to see what people write in.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Yeah, we've got a big list.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Okay, cool, All right? Do you want to start with
any toxic relationships you've had?
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Is that a trick question? Every single relation of has
been toxic.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Yeah, it's probably you, I know.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
I'm sorry to think it is me, but it would
be asked for sure, Yeah it.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Would, But I'm start The thing is, you got to
accept that it is probably you, but it's up to
you if you want to be better or not exactly.
And I feel like the more toxic relationships you have,
the more you can navigate them and you're more aware
of what is going on, so you can be better,
a better version of yourself and a better version of
your partner.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
You know.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Yeah. And the thing about me is I feel like
i've I'm really easily manipulated because like I just automatically
assume that someone's telling me the truth.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Yes, right, that's naive.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
You feel like you're very naive, So I feel like
it's easy for people to make out that they're doing
the right thing for me, but it's not really Does
that make sense?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Yeah, I get that.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
I feel like they're looking out for me or you know,
helping me out, or they're doing certain things you'll say
love me, but it's really they just want to control me.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Yeah, Okay, I get that, And I feel like when
it comes to relationships, you can be manipulated.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
In so many different ways.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
But like, I always believe that actions speak louder than words,
So like somebody can tell you what you want to hear,
but over the course of the time you're seeing them,
that actions will always speak volumes.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Absolutely, So many people can just talk shit, yeah, and
some people are so convincing when they speak. Yeah, it
could be scary. It's like scary for.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Me, it's always been. I feel like it's both parties. Yeah,
with the girls, it's not. It's never just one sided.
I feel like good people bring up the best in you,
toxic people bring up your toxic sides, or you.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Can just like really clash with someone.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
The thing is, for me, I feel like if I
really like some d like, I'll do the most and
then with all the toxic relationships I've had, well it's
mainly one, but like the love is so strong that
like it's just recent.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Yeah, it's fairly recent. Yeah, it's fairly recent.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
And I feel like, do I know you're talking about?
Speaker 3 (03:42):
Well, I just feel like when you love some D,
like when you really love some D, it's like a
roller coaster because your emotions are so high, but then
the downs are so low.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
You know, Yeah, you feel everything.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
You feel everything, and it's toxic. It can be toxic, right,
But I don't want to admit it. But I like
that because I would rather have the love for somebody
which is like crazy and de with the lows and
have like a relationship where like, yeah I love them,
like I kind of like them, but it's just monotone.
It's boring and it's like, yeah, it's somewhat healthy, they
would say, but it's not like love love.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Yeah, but I think that people can be madly in love.
It's still of a healthy relationship. I don't think that.
Maybe you've experienced that.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yeah, I agree, I agree, but I feel like.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Him, if you've got a healthy relationship, you're boring and
not in love.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
No, No, I'm not trying to say that, I'm not
When you're in love, yes, really, when you're really in
love and you're passionate, that the highs are going to
be way higher than the average, but then the lows
are going to be a lot lower than the average.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Yes, definitely.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
And I feel like as well, with me and my lationships,
the toxic ones have always been.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Push pull, push pul You mean by that.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
All my toxic lationships Looking back now, in hindsight, it's
like push pul where like I will chase them, I
will want to do the most for them, and then
they're not too bothered, and then they finally want to
be with me, and then they're pushing, They're pushing to me.
Then I'm like, oh, then I It's just like it's
like a constant push pulls.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (05:11):
But that's the thing with modern dating. I feel like
everyone just trying to play a game. Yeah, but why
is it no one's ever on the same level when
it comes to like attraction and life.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I feel like it's just because in today's society, people
have so much accessibility to other people right right, Like
you can go out and you always think that you're
going to get better the next best thing, and like
you can't fully commit because you think you might get better,
you know what I mean. But its back in the day,
it was kind of like a bit more simpler, you
like some d they like you start a family and
you're you commit to that person and you spend the
(05:45):
rest of life for them.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
But now you can this social media, you m it's.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Easier, like everyone's more accessible.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Yeah, and it just ruins relationships, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Yeah, But I mean, like in the early stages of dating,
it's always one way or the other. It's always the
girl likes a guy more or the guy likes a
girl more. And like I feel like if a guy
starts being a nice guy and genuine and just being
like this is who I am, I like you without
acting like a bit of a dick or like whatever,
the girl's like, ill, that's a turn off.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yeah, well that's what they say. Last guys finished last.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
But they don't.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
They do.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
They walk about nice girls.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Nice girls finished last too. Really, I'm sorry, but yeah,
they do.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
So there has to be an aspect always, always of
like what I.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Don't know, just for my personal experience, the nice girls
they never really do it for you do for me.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
And it's not because I don't want a nice girl.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
It's just because I feel like I've got a strong personality,
so I need a girl that's also got a strong
personality that can pull me in line.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
I'm not put up with my shit, yeah, and I
need to pull a girl in line.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
And so that's so I don't know proper her shit,
you know, but she's just a nice girl and it's
like she's not doing anything wrong, but like it's not
the same anyway.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
You haven't gotten to the toxic relationship part. Okay, So
for example, this first boyfriend that I ever ever had, right,
he was the only guy that I was seeing having
sex with, hooking up with, but he would just go
out and hook up with other girls, and like I
don't know why, and I think it was because I
(07:21):
allowed that, which I would never ever, ever, ever, ever
in a million years allow that, but that was just
how it was, Like it was open for him but
not for me, And I think it maybe was because
like I didn't really have that desire to seek out
anyone else, but he would like show me videos and
be like, look at this hot cheek that came to
(07:41):
my house and I would sit there.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
And be like, Coolbury, why would you even sit there
in the house? I see you, mate, I know he
was He then yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
I know, but I just I don't know why I
didn't care, but it was really weird. And yeah, he
would always just show me videos of other girls and
talk about other girls and whatever. So that was really toxic.
And then it wasn't until like I had gotten with
one of his mates and he was like, what are
you looking at me? Like that's wrong?
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Because yeah it is, it's not.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
But I can imagine how his head would be nice exactly,
you can't say anything exactly.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
But so yeah, I was like, you know what, I'm
fucking sick of this. Let me see how you feel
if I acted the way you acted and then did that.
He was absolutely just shattered and I'm like, well, that
doesn't make sense. It's a bit hypocritical. And then I
was also in a domestic violent relationship with this guy
who was an absolute head case. And I remember one
(08:36):
day he like stole my laptop and like wouldn't give
me my laptop back so I could leave, and then
he ended up like chasing me around the block and
just like smashing my laptop. And then there was another time,
same dude. I went through his phone and he was
messaging his ex and I'm like, and I don't think
going through your partner's phone is the right thing to do,
(08:57):
but this was like no, no, no, twelve thirteen years ago,
probably more. And I was like, what's this And he
started getting real angry and we got into like a
you know, domestic thing, and he'd already hit me prior
to that, and we'd gotten into like physical fights. But
the thing with me was I didn't just take it.
(09:20):
I was like, no, come on, let's go budget Like, yeah,
it was pretty bad, like bad on both parts, but
more so him because he was obviously so much stronger
than me, and he actually did hit me bad and
I was defending myself. But yeah, he ended up chasing
me again around the block and I remember running into
(09:40):
this house where there was there was all these tradesmen
and I'm like, call the police, Call the police. He
was just like standing there waiting for me to come out.
And then one day it just clicked and I was like,
I've got to stop this because there'd be shit like
that happening all the time, like he would rock up
to my house and like scream through the gate like
your daughter helpful. Yeah, like the most rogue shit.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
But it's hard because sometimes when you're in those maybe
not to that extreme, but when you're in toxic cycles
like relationships where like you're good for a couple of days,
a couple of weeks, wherever then like something big happens
and you know, you both feel shit. You're you know,
you got you're anxious, you don't know, you don't feel
secure in your relationship, but you still love them. You
go back to them because they're comfortable, it's familiar, yes,
(10:24):
and it's good for a couple of days and it
got shipped again.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
That's a toxic cycle.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
And at that point, I feel like people need to decide,
like is this how I want the rest of my
life to look? And if it doesn't, you need to
just simply walk away, do no contact, and literally move on.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
But looking back at that situation and where I am now,
I wouldn't even stand for that. Like the fact that
I kept going back to him after he did all
those disgusting things to me and treated me like that
is scary. Like I was literally putting my life on
the line for what. But yeah, I feel like you
definitely build boundaries the older you get and you know
(10:59):
your work a lot more. So You're right, these relationships
do teach you like what is my worth? Like it
forces you to take a step back and be like, Okay,
what am I willing to put up with? What's okay?
What's not okay? And what do I believe that I deserve?
Speaker 2 (11:14):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
But I feel like every part of every relationship I've
had that's broken up, whether if I've broken up or
it's been mutual or what have you. Like, obviously some
comfortable breakups are like the hardest thing anyone has to
go through.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
I have like a fear.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Yeah, it's the hardest. It's the hardest thing anyone has
to go through.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
But what you can do is you can fuel your
this energy pain this yeah, this hurt and pain you
have in your body.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
I just considered as like an energy. Right.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
You can either you know, sit in your sorrows and
feel sad and feel guilty and you know, feel like
put yourself down, or you can use that energy inside
of you to make yourself better in every single way
shape from and you have ultimate power when you're in
that negative headspace, like if you feel like into like
feeling good, go into the gym, spending time with family, friends,
(11:59):
like you will come out. I know you might not
see when you're in that like moment, but in a
couple of weeks down the track, you'll look back and think, Wow,
like I really had so much growth that in that
like two three months, and like you think, what was
I even doing with that person?
Speaker 2 (12:14):
But it's just hard at the start.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
It's so hard, and like that feeling and those memories
of just like being so uncontrollably sad and just like
crying into a pillar and not being able to breathe.
I'm like, oh my god, I could. I'm like terrified.
But breakups do help you grow one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
I think if I look back at all like my breakups,
Like there's been times where I've gone through a breakup
and I can look back now and be like, wow,
like for the last the six months after that, that's
when my life just spent so much better in every way,
shape and form. Yeah, with breakups, I feel like there's
two ways you can go about it, and based on
my experience, the worst way that you can go from
(12:56):
a breakup. Is if you break up and then you
are to try and fill that void with other people, yeah,
you will never be happy.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
That's literally what I've done though my whole life. Like
I don't even think I've ever had a period or
a time that I've been on my own or been single.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Yeah, that's where you get like the most growth, I
think personally for my sperience, because if you just go
out and fill a void, you're basically just setting yourself
up for failure because you're not being able to allow
yourself to grow. You can not able to sit in
that like uncomfortable force.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
And it is it's important to sit on sit in
those fields, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Yeah, it is because that's where you grow, because that's
what you really like, you have the most healing and
the most growth.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Yeah, and you get to know yourself.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
And if you feel like you can just fill a
void by going on another date or you know, start
seeing somebody else straight away, they will never compare to
that person because that person is you're still emotionally attached to.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
You're never going to be happy.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
And usually, like it's happened to me, happened with Sasha
when I was with Sasha, Like I moved on pretty
much within a week to meet Sasha, And at the
time I was like, oh, this is good, Like it's
taken my mind off this break up. But really it
didn't last because I was I wasn't healed, I wasn't
like ready to move.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
I just fill a boy so true.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
But I mean with all my rebounds, well like next boyfriends,
I've always thought like, Okay, they're getting better. We're definitely
going on. Yeah we are, We're climbing the ladder.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
I actually want to say one more thing without what
we just said. What I often like you that, like
women are like, oh, like I'm not sure if he
likes me, Like I don't know if he's like I
don't know if he's going.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
To work out and all this sort of stuff. I
just want to make a clear yet from a guy's perspective, yes,
tell us us. Guys know when we want to be
with some demos.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
I always tell my girlfriends. I'm like, if he wanted to, he.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Would, yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Like if you've got as a female, if you've got
this doubt in your mind, like does this guy want
to be with me?
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Does he not? He does want to be with you
because a guy.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
I know, not not always, not always, because I had
that doubt with Lockie and he was just going along
with how I was and he's like, no, I thought
you were friends only, So not always, But I agree
with what you're saying.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
I know when I want when I want to beat some.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
D and you make the effort, right, you make the effort.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
And you just know, like inside, and I've gone through
this fairly recently, and it's a feeling that's different to
any other. That's why you often see couples that say
that a're together for like five years, right, and they
break up and like they didn't get engaged, they didn't
have kids or anything, but they've been together for five years.
But then the guy will just meet somebody a couple
(15:27):
months later, and then within like three months, they're engaged,
they're having babies, they're.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Moving in together.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
That is because the guy is ready and he's committed
to meeting somebody and that's his time to do it.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Yeah, you can never do you.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
See all the time, because you can never force the
guy to progress with you.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
The guy will want to do it when he knows
the time is right for him.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Yeah, Oh my god, that would piss me off if
walking and I broke up and he fucking proposed to
some girl after three what happens?
Speaker 3 (15:55):
And it happens so frequently. I see it time and
time again. Relationships go to ship after five years and
then somebody meets somebody within a couple of months.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
They progress so much faster.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
But maybe it's because they're like, oh, well, far out.
I sat on it for five years before. I thought
there was always something better and something more out there.
And then they meet another girl who maybe like he
might even have similar feelings, but he's like, well, fucking hell,
they're similar. I feel the same way. I may as
well commit. You know, you can't.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
You can speak from.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Personal experience, cow, but you can't speak for everyone because
everyone is so different. But I do understand where you're
coming from, and like, I.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Just feel like girls are easily like I just feel
like you goes a little bit more emotional, right, you're
more emotionally mature, yes, but you're heads good on. You know,
if you like somebody pretty much pretty fast, you know,
give or take yes. But with a guy, it's like
it takes a lot and it doesn't happen.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Like more for a guy.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
I just feel like we just got a slower burn sometimes.
But I just feel like when a guy knows, that's
when the relationship progresses properly.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Yes, absolutely, when the guy's ready to CONNECTE.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
But did you feel the seem Lockie right like you said, Well,
at the start, it was like not you are like
floating around, But then like we got to a point
where Lockie was like I want like he wants to
be you, and like, did you see like a difference?
Speaker 4 (17:16):
That like true?
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Like that's how I felt at the start of the relationship.
People always ask me this question. They're like, are you
angry or upset or do you get any feels that
he hasn't proposed yet after eight years, And I'm like, oh, honestly,
like I haven't thought about it, like I thought about
it at the start of the relationship, because I remember
him telling me that he wanted to marry his ex
(17:38):
or he was going to propose to her, and then
I'm like, well, hello, here's me and what's happening here.
Then we were having a baby together, so I think
in his mind he thought that's pretty serious, you know,
like it's similar. So maybe he thought like, oh, I
don't have to propose now, But who knows anyway, But
I do think it is a massive simble for a girl,
(18:01):
for it shows that the guy is like one hundred
percent committed, you know. Anyway, I don't know what happened there, Guys,
I don't know why he hasn't proposed yet, but I
know why why. I'm not the one. No, he's waiting
for something else.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
You're waiting for your ring. But your ring is your
fucking staircase. Yeah, staircase, that's a ring.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean he he eventually started
bringing up marriage to me, and I was like, oh, okay, yeah,
and then I was like, well, I don't really care anymore. Dyl.
I'm like I did at the start, but now it's like,
oh meh, whatever.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
I feel like every leadership runs his course at different times,
you know, Like it's not it shouldn't be like, oh,
I'm at this stage now now it should should technically
be married or proposed, or I should have babies, or
I should have a house. Like everyone moves at different
stages and it doesn't mean anything.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Okay, let's talk about X or things that like your
partner does. That's annoying. I just wrote things men do,
but it's really what Luckie does because he is the
only man that I am living with, you know. Okay,
so he will leave his toothbrush standing up, like right
next to the kitchen sink. I'm like, why the fock's
the toothbrush in the kitchen sink? Dolls, I'm like, that's
(19:13):
a bathroom item, only it's so weird.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
That's not weird? Oh my god, are.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
You take your toothbrush to the kitchen?
Speaker 2 (19:22):
I take my toothbrush in the car sometimes.
Speaker 4 (19:25):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Now I can't sit still and brush my teeth in
the mirror because my ad she kills me. I've got
to be like do my shoelace ergs my chufish in
my mouth. I've got to be like making food, so
like if my chusbush is left on the kitchen bench, like,
that's not abnormal.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Oh okay, so it is things men do. It's not
just slocky.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
They got Lucky.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Yeahl's got your back, Dolls. All right, do you have
any X or just like something that irks you that
your girlfriend has done? Our partner, I've got X.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Yeah, my main neck is when I see a bird
like tomato sauce all of the chips.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
That would ruin the first day. I don't care how
hot you are.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
If we've got to If we've got a part of chip,
like a bowl of chips, and you've gone and just
put tomato sauce or any sauce all of the top
like that, you're messy.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
Leave.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Oh so you want it on the side.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Dip, It's dip. It's not a fucking ball of knees.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
My problem is with the sauce being spread across the
chips like that is I'm not really getting the amount
I want. Yeah, some are on top that have the sauce,
and then there'll be some at the bottom that aren't coded.
So that is kind of weird. All right, Oh, he'll
do this. He'll be like making the kids lunches or
something or dinner or something, and you know, when you
(20:37):
put butter on the pan, he'll use like a plastic
spoon that we took camping. He's using the spoon to
get the butter out. I'm like, did you want a
butter knife?
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Dolls Like he's using the plastic spoon instead of metal spoon.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
No, no, no, just a spoon in general, Like I
would just get a butter knife to scrape the butter
out right, Like, is using a spoon not the weirdest thing?
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Yeah, I can see that would be weird.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Yeah, I don't know logic maybe because there's there's no no,
there are.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Dress from the he's not thinking.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Why didn't you choose a spoon to do that?
Speaker 3 (21:15):
But the bottom of the spoon I can kind of
see as well because it does spread easily.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
It does, you know, the top of the spoon, the
bottom of the spoon. If you go down the bottom.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Spoon, think it one's buttering their bread with the spoon.
I would just like, you are just crazy. He's so funny.
I will say to him. I'm like, I swear your
ADHD like you got it. You gotta have something.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
One thing that recks my brain is when you see
birds with white sneakers on with black socks.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Okay, I would never do that.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
That's criminal.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
I remember one day put black socks on and blacks
new balance to go to gym, and you're like, why
wearing black socks?
Speaker 4 (21:56):
That's such an it.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
I'm like, no, this is like my thing.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
No, But I was just winding you up there. You're
black and black, that's fine.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
But if you've got white shoes on and black socks,
even if they're just like the small socks at the
bottom ankle socks now and I can still see a
little bit of it, that's his criminal.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
You need criminal for anyone though, not just a girl.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Oh yeah, but that he studies.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
I go to the extent of matching my socks to
like a beige sneaker. Yeah, I've got gray sox, beige socks,
white sox, black socks. So yeah, I get where you're
coming from with that. Another thing that my dad always
used to do, which lock he doesn't. They're the same
star sign, which is crazy. They will leave change in
every corner of the house, like if they've got change,
(22:35):
it's going anywhere, like top of the toilet's seat, fucking
on the lounge, in the cracks, like literally on top
of the microwave. It's change everywhere, just change. I'm like, oh,
can we get something?
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Does he have a cardholder or does he have a wallet.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
He doesn't carry his wallet around anymore, so he would
just put it in his pocket and he's just ripping
it out of But see, you guys do that I have.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
When I was younger, I used to have like a wallet,
but it was a little coin compartment.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
But now I just have a card holder.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
So whenever I've got cash, get changed the changes everywhere
I got changed in the box seats my car.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Yes, so it is a guy guy thing.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Yeah, do you have like a like a purse.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Right, I don't carry a purse and I never have cash.
I do now because he's leaving it around.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
So like piggy.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Bank in the piggy bank, that's a guy thing.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
I think that's a guy thing.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Also, not filling up the kettle and like when you're
done with a dirty pan, they'll just like fill it
up with water and put it on the side of
the sink. I'm like, okay, how is that going to
get finished? How is that getting off the kitchen pen?
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Just putting the liquid in there and the water to
break up the.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
And there's no breaking up to do. It's a non
stick pandults, but they might be a scratching it. There's
nothing stuck there. Okay, if you can wash it up
straight away, can't help you up numbers, I'll say one
last thing, but like he will put something back in
a different place every single time. I'm like finding new
(24:02):
homes for this one item every day. I'm like, where
does it go in your brain? Where where do you
think its home is? Because like I'm very particular if
I because if I don't put something back, I don't
know where it is. But he will put something somewhere different.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Every time, and you're always just looking for ship.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Yeah, and he's like, where's this. I'm like, maybe if
we had the one home for it, you would know
exactly where to go for that one thing every time.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Yeah. Easier said than done, though, you're like rushing around yourself.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
He literally just puts it everywhere, like wherever it can whenever,
wherever he can fit it. Just whatever's easier.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Do you know what irks me?
Speaker 3 (24:41):
And this has been every single relationship, and I just
think it's just girls as a species.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Yes, right, Oh, I'll fucking go you for this, right,
let's go.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I would consider myself a very patient man when it
comes to women, right.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
I wouldn't say you're patient, for sure.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
I'm very patient. If we're getting ready for dinner, oh,
I don't care. I'm paying for the dinner. I'll take
us there. I'll organize the date. Just look good, and
I appreciate when a girl puts effort in to look
a certain way.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Yes, I'm offering I'll wait three hours.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Look, he would love for me to go out in
sweats and unshowered, Like, yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
I'm fine with that too.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
But if I'm going on a date, I'll put all
the work in. All you need to do is does
look good. And if it takes you three hours to
get ready, I'm completely fine with that. Yeah, but do not,
and I mean do not tell me I'm going to
be five minutes and then five minutes going by this
and you still put your ey lashes on. Ye, And
I'm like, just tell me exactly what time you're going
to be ready, and I well aimed for that time,
just the ten minutes I'm sitting there at ten minutes, Yeah,
(25:36):
she's I didn't got a shoes on, it's eleven minutes.
Like that is just triggering, Like it it recks my brain.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Like, girls, definitely do.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
That, just be honest and up front of it. Just
maybe even just put my expectations out the window. So
just say it's gonna be two hours, because then I
know I'm not gonna be waiting around and if you
get ready in an hour and a half, happy days.
Don't keep adding time to it because my brain fries.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
But also my brain fries. When I'm getting ready, someone goes,
are you nearly ready? I'm like, oh, now we're gonna
hours more.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Let's see.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Don't ask me. Don't ask me how I'm going now,
I'm going really bad. I'm like, please, just don't ask
me that question. How long will you be? Have you
got shot? Just maybe don't talk? But maybe guy, we're
going to read two hours later?
Speaker 2 (26:22):
No, because I.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
Would have skert and ready. I gotta get ready the
same time. I would ideally like to finish getting ready
the same time as you.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Why am I ready in my outfit increasing my linen
shirt that I've just ironed, waiting for you to put
your eyelash extensions on?
Speaker 1 (26:37):
I know. I feel like Lockie and I have switched
roles now because I'm like, I'm going to get ready
quick and fast, and he's always like, oh, I still
need to shower. I'm like, I don't care. You're not
getting in the shower, adults, you're getting in your outfit.
I'll help you slick your hair back. You're not showering.
I'm not waiting, so I understand the waiting is annoying.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
Do you guys have to ask like when you're deciding
to go like out that or like get like a
take away or does that anything major? But do you
argue with like what you want? Like do you say, like, oh,
what you find? And they're like, I don't I don't know.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Oh my god, yes, that wrecks me too, dude. Okay,
I'll give you a perfect example of lockie and what
absolutely boils my blood. I'll be like, hey, babe, what
do you want for dinner? I'm thinking we'll go out?
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Sure, yeah, yeah, I'm like sushi nah, not sushi Roy's
Italian Nah? All right, okay, fucking hell seafood nah. I'm like,
all right, well what do you want? He's like, I
don't know. I'm like giving you three options. You said
no to every option. Now you're not going to bring
just one to the table.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Nothing that my brain?
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Nothing that my brain. And it also rest my brain
when I asked like, oh, would you do you fancy this?
Speaker 4 (27:46):
Maybe?
Speaker 1 (27:47):
No?
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Maybe yeah I can do that. Would you want to
do it? Do you want to do it? So? Do
you know what, I've got a huck and you can
I'm going to see.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
You stop listening. Is all right, thanks for coming guys.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
All right.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
So what you say is you say, Lucky, I'm taking
you to your favorite restaurant tonight as a surprise and retreat.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
And you go, oh, what, We're going.
Speaker 3 (28:13):
To Rick Shaws And you're like yes, And then you're
going to Rick Shaws because he's decided for you.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
That's why they said that all the birds now.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Wait, so because you're picking their favorite restaurant.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
So like, if I'm okay, so if I it's like,
let me break back.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
The girl I'm seeing at the moment, she never decides.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Never decides, right. So literally, like last week I said
to her, I was like I knew that this. We're
going to have this conversation. Oh you will what you
were And I'm like, I'm not doing anymore. So I
said to her. I called her, I said I'm going
to take you out tonight and I teach your favorite players.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
She's like what really? And then yeah. And then then
they would say like oh Rick Shaws. I'm like yes.
But if I said, oh, I'm taking Rick Shaws, they'd
be like, oh, maybe they make the decision. It's so
much easier.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Yeah, that's so true. That's a good hat. It's a
good But then what if they don't repeat it?
Speaker 2 (28:59):
They do, they always do, they always do.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
And it could even just be like take away like oh,
like I'm should like anything it works, trust me, just trust.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Me and try it.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Okay, I'm going to try that.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Watched his episode. He's like, you can't pay the tricks
on me.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
He actually ordered for me the first time in like
eight years the other night, and he's like, I've got
you something and I'm like, what what what if I
don't feel like it? Like he knows I'm such a headcake.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
But it could be even something like just like a
breakfast or let's go for breakfast today where we're gonna go.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
I'll take you to your favorite players. Oh what this one?
And then you're that's what we're.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Correct, that's the one. Thank you calls the restaurant.
Speaker 4 (29:40):
Hey, no, the other one? What's the other? Okay?
Speaker 3 (29:54):
All right, guys, make sure you subscribe to the podcast
if you want to hear more. Follow all the off
air action on our Instagram Skywheekly and caldev Or Sky
and Calum Podcast and if you want to ask us
any questions chat to our producers. You can email us
anytime at Skyancalum at Norval podcast dot com, dot e
This podcast was recorded on Buddy along Land and produced
in Now.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
All right, We're on.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
Bring Should the Key, The Enyway You, Calumn and sky Weekly.
Speaker 4 (00:14):
Oh what did you say?
Speaker 1 (00:17):
I just introduced that, say again, should hold.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Should?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Should?
Speaker 4 (00:29):
I don't know how.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
You like rolls. You was like, should he should?
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Anyway? I was just saying, what was that?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
A bit of better?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Well? Yeah, well ended up today we keep their fresh
and fruity, mister man. Okay, I introduced that. So now
we're going to dive straight into an episode.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
I don't know what episode it is now about we're going,
We're going with the punches, rolling with the punches.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Absolutely. I'm excited for today's episode to me too. We're
going to be touching on toxic relationships and then I
think we've got some stuff to read out from our audience.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Well, we've got to give advice or just our opinion.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
I don't know if we're capable of giving it much.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I think we can.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
We're definitely capable of given advice, But whether it's good
advice or not, it's question, Like that's the question.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Really, yeah, one hundred percent, And like I'll just be
so blunt, like I feel like it's better for someone
to hear the truth than for it to be sugarcoated
so they don't get it mixed up.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Or I'm excited to see your advice.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah, okay, I'm excited to see what people write in.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Yeah, we've got a big list.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Okay, cool, All right? Do you want to start with
any toxic relationships you've had?
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Is that a trick question? Every single relation of has
been toxic.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Yeah, it's probably you, I know.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
I'm sorry to think it is me, but it would
be asked for sure, Yeah it.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Would, But I'm start The thing is, you got to
accept that it is probably you, but it's up to
you if you want to be better or not exactly.
And I feel like the more toxic relationships you have,
the more you can navigate them and you're more aware
of what is going on, so you can be better,
a better version of yourself and a better version of
your partner.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
You know.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Yeah. And the thing about me is I feel like
i've I'm really easily manipulated because like I just automatically
assume that someone's telling me the truth.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Yes, right, that's naive.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
You feel like you're very naive, So I feel like
it's easy for people to make out that they're doing
the right thing for me, but it's not really Does
that make sense?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Yeah, I get that.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
I feel like they're looking out for me or you know,
helping me out, or they're doing certain things you'll say
love me, but it's really they just want to control me.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Yeah, Okay, I get that, And I feel like when
it comes to relationships, you can be manipulated.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
In so many different ways.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
But like, I always believe that actions speak louder than words,
So like somebody can tell you what you want to hear,
but over the course of the time you're seeing them,
that actions will always speak volumes.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Absolutely, So many people can just talk shit, yeah, and
some people are so convincing when they speak. Yeah, it
could be scary. It's like scary for.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Me, it's always been. I feel like it's both parties. Yeah,
with the girls, it's not. It's never just one sided.
I feel like good people bring up the best in you,
toxic people bring up your toxic sides, or you.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Can just like really clash with someone.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
The thing is, for me, I feel like if I
really like some d like, I'll do the most and
then with all the toxic relationships I've had, well it's
mainly one, but like the love is so strong that
like it's just recent.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Yeah, it's fairly recent. Yeah, it's fairly recent.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
And I feel like, do I know you're talking about?
Speaker 3 (03:42):
Well, I just feel like when you love some D,
like when you really love some D, it's like a
roller coaster because your emotions are so high, but then
the downs are so low.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
You know, Yeah, you feel everything.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
You feel everything, and it's toxic. It can be toxic, right,
But I don't want to admit it. But I like
that because I would rather have the love for somebody
which is like crazy and de with the lows and
have like a relationship where like, yeah I love them,
like I kind of like them, but it's just monotone.
It's boring and it's like, yeah, it's somewhat healthy, they
would say, but it's not like love love.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Yeah, but I think that people can be madly in love.
It's still of a healthy relationship. I don't think that.
Maybe you've experienced that.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yeah, I agree, I agree, but I feel like.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Him, if you've got a healthy relationship, you're boring and
not in love.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
No, No, I'm not trying to say that, I'm not
When you're in love, yes, really, when you're really in
love and you're passionate, that the highs are going to
be way higher than the average, but then the lows
are going to be a lot lower than the average.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Yes, definitely.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
And I feel like as well, with me and my lationships,
the toxic ones have always been.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Push pull, push pul You mean by that.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
All my toxic lationships Looking back now, in hindsight, it's
like push pul where like I will chase them, I
will want to do the most for them, and then
they're not too bothered, and then they finally want to
be with me, and then they're pushing, They're pushing to me.
Then I'm like, oh, then I It's just like it's
like a constant push pulls.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (05:11):
But that's the thing with modern dating. I feel like
everyone just trying to play a game. Yeah, but why
is it no one's ever on the same level when
it comes to like attraction and life.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I feel like it's just because in today's society, people
have so much accessibility to other people right right, Like
you can go out and you always think that you're
going to get better the next best thing, and like
you can't fully commit because you think you might get better,
you know what I mean. But its back in the day,
it was kind of like a bit more simpler, you
like some d they like you start a family and
you're you commit to that person and you spend the
(05:45):
rest of life for them.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
But now you can this social media, you m it's.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Easier, like everyone's more accessible.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Yeah, and it just ruins relationships, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Yeah, But I mean, like in the early stages of dating,
it's always one way or the other. It's always the
girl likes a guy more or the guy likes a
girl more. And like I feel like if a guy
starts being a nice guy and genuine and just being
like this is who I am, I like you without
acting like a bit of a dick or like whatever,
the girl's like, ill, that's a turn off.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yeah, well that's what they say. Last guys finished last.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
But they don't.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
They do.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
They walk about nice girls.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Nice girls finished last too. Really, I'm sorry, but yeah,
they do.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
So there has to be an aspect always, always of
like what I.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Don't know, just for my personal experience, the nice girls
they never really do it for you do for me.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
And it's not because I don't want a nice girl.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
It's just because I feel like I've got a strong personality,
so I need a girl that's also got a strong
personality that can pull me in line.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
I'm not put up with my shit, yeah, and I
need to pull a girl in line.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
And so that's so I don't know proper her shit,
you know, but she's just a nice girl and it's
like she's not doing anything wrong, but like it's not
the same anyway.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
You haven't gotten to the toxic relationship part. Okay, So
for example, this first boyfriend that I ever ever had, right,
he was the only guy that I was seeing having
sex with, hooking up with, but he would just go
out and hook up with other girls, and like I
don't know why, and I think it was because I
(07:21):
allowed that, which I would never ever, ever, ever, ever
in a million years allow that, but that was just
how it was, Like it was open for him but
not for me, And I think it maybe was because
like I didn't really have that desire to seek out
anyone else, but he would like show me videos and
be like, look at this hot cheek that came to
(07:41):
my house and I would sit there.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
And be like, Coolbury, why would you even sit there
in the house? I see you, mate, I know he
was He then yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
I know, but I just I don't know why I
didn't care, but it was really weird. And yeah, he
would always just show me videos of other girls and
talk about other girls and whatever. So that was really toxic.
And then it wasn't until like I had gotten with
one of his mates and he was like, what are
you looking at me? Like that's wrong?
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Because yeah it is, it's not.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
But I can imagine how his head would be nice exactly,
you can't say anything exactly.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
But so yeah, I was like, you know what, I'm
fucking sick of this. Let me see how you feel
if I acted the way you acted and then did that.
He was absolutely just shattered and I'm like, well, that
doesn't make sense. It's a bit hypocritical. And then I
was also in a domestic violent relationship with this guy
who was an absolute head case. And I remember one
(08:36):
day he like stole my laptop and like wouldn't give
me my laptop back so I could leave, and then
he ended up like chasing me around the block and
just like smashing my laptop. And then there was another time,
same dude. I went through his phone and he was
messaging his ex and I'm like, and I don't think
going through your partner's phone is the right thing to do,
(08:57):
but this was like no, no, no, twelve thirteen years ago,
probably more. And I was like, what's this And he
started getting real angry and we got into like a
you know, domestic thing, and he'd already hit me prior
to that, and we'd gotten into like physical fights. But
the thing with me was I didn't just take it.
(09:20):
I was like, no, come on, let's go budget Like, yeah,
it was pretty bad, like bad on both parts, but
more so him because he was obviously so much stronger
than me, and he actually did hit me bad and
I was defending myself. But yeah, he ended up chasing
me again around the block and I remember running into
(09:40):
this house where there was there was all these tradesmen
and I'm like, call the police, Call the police. He
was just like standing there waiting for me to come out.
And then one day it just clicked and I was like,
I've got to stop this because there'd be shit like
that happening all the time, like he would rock up
to my house and like scream through the gate like
your daughter helpful. Yeah, like the most rogue shit.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
But it's hard because sometimes when you're in those maybe
not to that extreme, but when you're in toxic cycles
like relationships where like you're good for a couple of days,
a couple of weeks, wherever then like something big happens
and you know, you both feel shit. You're you know,
you got you're anxious, you don't know, you don't feel
secure in your relationship, but you still love them. You
go back to them because they're comfortable, it's familiar, yes,
(10:24):
and it's good for a couple of days and it
got shipped again.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
That's a toxic cycle.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
And at that point, I feel like people need to decide,
like is this how I want the rest of my
life to look? And if it doesn't, you need to
just simply walk away, do no contact, and literally move on.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
But looking back at that situation and where I am now,
I wouldn't even stand for that. Like the fact that
I kept going back to him after he did all
those disgusting things to me and treated me like that
is scary. Like I was literally putting my life on
the line for what. But yeah, I feel like you
definitely build boundaries the older you get and you know
(10:59):
your work a lot more. So You're right, these relationships
do teach you like what is my worth? Like it
forces you to take a step back and be like, Okay,
what am I willing to put up with? What's okay?
What's not okay? And what do I believe that I deserve?
Speaker 2 (11:14):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
But I feel like every part of every relationship I've
had that's broken up, whether if I've broken up or
it's been mutual or what have you. Like, obviously some
comfortable breakups are like the hardest thing anyone has to
go through.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
I have like a fear.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Yeah, it's the hardest. It's the hardest thing anyone has
to go through.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
But what you can do is you can fuel your
this energy pain this yeah, this hurt and pain you
have in your body.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
I just considered as like an energy. Right.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
You can either you know, sit in your sorrows and
feel sad and feel guilty and you know, feel like
put yourself down, or you can use that energy inside
of you to make yourself better in every single way
shape from and you have ultimate power when you're in
that negative headspace, like if you feel like into like
feeling good, go into the gym, spending time with family, friends,
(11:59):
like you will come out. I know you might not
see when you're in that like moment, but in a
couple of weeks down the track, you'll look back and think, Wow,
like I really had so much growth that in that
like two three months, and like you think, what was
I even doing with that person?
Speaker 2 (12:14):
But it's just hard at the start.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
It's so hard, and like that feeling and those memories
of just like being so uncontrollably sad and just like
crying into a pillar and not being able to breathe.
I'm like, oh my god, I could. I'm like terrified.
But breakups do help you grow one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
I think if I look back at all like my breakups,
Like there's been times where I've gone through a breakup
and I can look back now and be like, wow,
like for the last the six months after that, that's
when my life just spent so much better in every way,
shape and form. Yeah, with breakups, I feel like there's
two ways you can go about it, and based on
my experience, the worst way that you can go from
(12:56):
a breakup. Is if you break up and then you
are to try and fill that void with other people, yeah,
you will never be happy.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
That's literally what I've done though my whole life. Like
I don't even think I've ever had a period or
a time that I've been on my own or been single.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Yeah, that's where you get like the most growth, I
think personally for my sperience, because if you just go
out and fill a void, you're basically just setting yourself
up for failure because you're not being able to allow
yourself to grow. You can not able to sit in
that like uncomfortable force.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
And it is it's important to sit on sit in
those fields, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Yeah, it is because that's where you grow, because that's
what you really like, you have the most healing and
the most growth.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Yeah, and you get to know yourself.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
And if you feel like you can just fill a
void by going on another date or you know, start
seeing somebody else straight away, they will never compare to
that person because that person is you're still emotionally attached to.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
You're never going to be happy.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
And usually, like it's happened to me, happened with Sasha
when I was with Sasha, Like I moved on pretty
much within a week to meet Sasha, And at the
time I was like, oh, this is good, Like it's
taken my mind off this break up. But really it
didn't last because I was I wasn't healed, I wasn't
like ready to move.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
I just fill a boy so true.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
But I mean with all my rebounds, well like next boyfriends,
I've always thought like, Okay, they're getting better. We're definitely
going on. Yeah we are, We're climbing the ladder.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
I actually want to say one more thing without what
we just said. What I often like you that, like
women are like, oh, like I'm not sure if he
likes me, Like I don't know if he's like I
don't know if he's going.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
To work out and all this sort of stuff. I
just want to make a clear yet from a guy's perspective, yes,
tell us us. Guys know when we want to be
with some demos.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
I always tell my girlfriends. I'm like, if he wanted to, he.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Would, yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Like if you've got as a female, if you've got
this doubt in your mind, like does this guy want
to be with me?
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Does he not? He does want to be with you
because a guy.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
I know, not not always, not always, because I had
that doubt with Lockie and he was just going along
with how I was and he's like, no, I thought
you were friends only, So not always, But I agree
with what you're saying.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
I know when I want when I want to beat some.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
D and you make the effort, right, you make the effort.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
And you just know, like inside, and I've gone through
this fairly recently, and it's a feeling that's different to
any other. That's why you often see couples that say
that a're together for like five years, right, and they
break up and like they didn't get engaged, they didn't
have kids or anything, but they've been together for five years.
But then the guy will just meet somebody a couple
(15:27):
months later, and then within like three months, they're engaged,
they're having babies, they're.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Moving in together.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
That is because the guy is ready and he's committed
to meeting somebody and that's his time to do it.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Yeah, you can never do you.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
See all the time, because you can never force the
guy to progress with you.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
The guy will want to do it when he knows
the time is right for him.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Yeah, Oh my god, that would piss me off if
walking and I broke up and he fucking proposed to
some girl after three what happens?
Speaker 3 (15:55):
And it happens so frequently. I see it time and
time again. Relationships go to ship after five years and
then somebody meets somebody within a couple of months.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
They progress so much faster.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
But maybe it's because they're like, oh, well, far out.
I sat on it for five years before. I thought
there was always something better and something more out there.
And then they meet another girl who maybe like he
might even have similar feelings, but he's like, well, fucking hell,
they're similar. I feel the same way. I may as
well commit. You know, you can't.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
You can speak from.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Personal experience, cow, but you can't speak for everyone because
everyone is so different. But I do understand where you're
coming from, and like, I.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Just feel like girls are easily like I just feel
like you goes a little bit more emotional, right, you're
more emotionally mature, yes, but you're heads good on. You know,
if you like somebody pretty much pretty fast, you know,
give or take yes. But with a guy, it's like
it takes a lot and it doesn't happen.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Like more for a guy.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
I just feel like we just got a slower burn sometimes.
But I just feel like when a guy knows, that's
when the relationship progresses properly.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Yes, absolutely, when the guy's ready to CONNECTE.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
But did you feel the seem Lockie right like you said, Well,
at the start, it was like not you are like
floating around, But then like we got to a point
where Lockie was like I want like he wants to
be you, and like, did you see like a difference?
Speaker 4 (17:16):
That like true?
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Like that's how I felt at the start of the relationship.
People always ask me this question. They're like, are you
angry or upset or do you get any feels that
he hasn't proposed yet after eight years, And I'm like, oh, honestly,
like I haven't thought about it, like I thought about
it at the start of the relationship, because I remember
him telling me that he wanted to marry his ex
(17:38):
or he was going to propose to her, and then
I'm like, well, hello, here's me and what's happening here.
Then we were having a baby together, so I think
in his mind he thought that's pretty serious, you know,
like it's similar. So maybe he thought like, oh, I
don't have to propose now, But who knows anyway, But
I do think it is a massive simble for a girl,
(18:01):
for it shows that the guy is like one hundred
percent committed, you know. Anyway, I don't know what happened there, Guys,
I don't know why he hasn't proposed yet, but I
know why why. I'm not the one. No, he's waiting
for something else.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
You're waiting for your ring. But your ring is your
fucking staircase. Yeah, staircase, that's a ring.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean he he eventually started
bringing up marriage to me, and I was like, oh, okay, yeah,
and then I was like, well, I don't really care anymore. Dyl.
I'm like I did at the start, but now it's like,
oh meh, whatever.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
I feel like every leadership runs his course at different times,
you know, Like it's not it shouldn't be like, oh,
I'm at this stage now now it should should technically
be married or proposed, or I should have babies, or
I should have a house. Like everyone moves at different
stages and it doesn't mean anything.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Okay, let's talk about X or things that like your
partner does. That's annoying. I just wrote things men do,
but it's really what Luckie does because he is the
only man that I am living with, you know. Okay,
so he will leave his toothbrush standing up, like right
next to the kitchen sink. I'm like, why the fock's
the toothbrush in the kitchen sink? Dolls, I'm like, that's
(19:13):
a bathroom item, only it's so weird.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
That's not weird? Oh my god, are.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
You take your toothbrush to the kitchen?
Speaker 2 (19:22):
I take my toothbrush in the car sometimes.
Speaker 4 (19:25):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Now I can't sit still and brush my teeth in
the mirror because my ad she kills me. I've got
to be like do my shoelace ergs my chufish in
my mouth. I've got to be like making food, so
like if my chusbush is left on the kitchen bench, like,
that's not abnormal.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Oh okay, so it is things men do. It's not
just slocky.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
They got Lucky.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Yeahl's got your back, Dolls. All right, do you have
any X or just like something that irks you that
your girlfriend has done? Our partner, I've got X.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Yeah, my main neck is when I see a bird
like tomato sauce all of the chips.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
That would ruin the first day. I don't care how
hot you are.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
If we've got to If we've got a part of chip,
like a bowl of chips, and you've gone and just
put tomato sauce or any sauce all of the top
like that, you're messy.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
Leave.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Oh so you want it on the side.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Dip, It's dip. It's not a fucking ball of knees.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
My problem is with the sauce being spread across the
chips like that is I'm not really getting the amount
I want. Yeah, some are on top that have the sauce,
and then there'll be some at the bottom that aren't coded.
So that is kind of weird. All right, Oh, he'll
do this. He'll be like making the kids lunches or
something or dinner or something, and you know, when you
(20:37):
put butter on the pan, he'll use like a plastic
spoon that we took camping. He's using the spoon to
get the butter out. I'm like, did you want a
butter knife?
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Dolls Like he's using the plastic spoon instead of metal spoon.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
No, no, no, just a spoon in general, Like I
would just get a butter knife to scrape the butter
out right, Like, is using a spoon not the weirdest thing?
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Yeah, I can see that would be weird.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Yeah, I don't know logic maybe because there's there's no no,
there are.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Dress from the he's not thinking.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Why didn't you choose a spoon to do that?
Speaker 3 (21:15):
But the bottom of the spoon I can kind of
see as well because it does spread easily.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
It does, you know, the top of the spoon, the
bottom of the spoon. If you go down the bottom.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Spoon, think it one's buttering their bread with the spoon.
I would just like, you are just crazy. He's so funny.
I will say to him. I'm like, I swear your
ADHD like you got it. You gotta have something.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
One thing that recks my brain is when you see
birds with white sneakers on with black socks.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Okay, I would never do that.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
That's criminal.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
I remember one day put black socks on and blacks
new balance to go to gym, and you're like, why
wearing black socks?
Speaker 4 (21:56):
That's such an it.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
I'm like, no, this is like my thing.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
No, But I was just winding you up there. You're
black and black, that's fine.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
But if you've got white shoes on and black socks,
even if they're just like the small socks at the
bottom ankle socks now and I can still see a
little bit of it, that's his criminal.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
You need criminal for anyone though, not just a girl.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Oh yeah, but that he studies.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
I go to the extent of matching my socks to
like a beige sneaker. Yeah, I've got gray sox, beige socks,
white sox, black socks. So yeah, I get where you're
coming from with that. Another thing that my dad always
used to do, which lock he doesn't. They're the same
star sign, which is crazy. They will leave change in
every corner of the house, like if they've got change,
(22:35):
it's going anywhere, like top of the toilet's seat, fucking
on the lounge, in the cracks, like literally on top
of the microwave. It's change everywhere, just change. I'm like, oh,
can we get something?
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Does he have a cardholder or does he have a wallet.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
He doesn't carry his wallet around anymore, so he would
just put it in his pocket and he's just ripping
it out of But see, you guys do that I have.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
When I was younger, I used to have like a wallet,
but it was a little coin compartment.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
But now I just have a card holder.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
So whenever I've got cash, get changed the changes everywhere
I got changed in the box seats my car.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Yes, so it is a guy guy thing.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Yeah, do you have like a like a purse.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Right, I don't carry a purse and I never have cash.
I do now because he's leaving it around.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
So like piggy.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Bank in the piggy bank, that's a guy thing.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
I think that's a guy thing.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Also, not filling up the kettle and like when you're
done with a dirty pan, they'll just like fill it
up with water and put it on the side of
the sink. I'm like, okay, how is that going to
get finished? How is that getting off the kitchen pen?
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Just putting the liquid in there and the water to
break up the.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
And there's no breaking up to do. It's a non
stick pandults, but they might be a scratching it. There's
nothing stuck there. Okay, if you can wash it up
straight away, can't help you up numbers, I'll say one
last thing, but like he will put something back in
a different place every single time. I'm like finding new
(24:02):
homes for this one item every day. I'm like, where
does it go in your brain? Where where do you
think its home is? Because like I'm very particular if
I because if I don't put something back, I don't
know where it is. But he will put something somewhere different.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Every time, and you're always just looking for ship.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Yeah, and he's like, where's this. I'm like, maybe if
we had the one home for it, you would know
exactly where to go for that one thing every time.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Yeah. Easier said than done, though, you're like rushing around yourself.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
He literally just puts it everywhere, like wherever it can whenever,
wherever he can fit it. Just whatever's easier.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Do you know what irks me?
Speaker 3 (24:41):
And this has been every single relationship, and I just
think it's just girls as a species.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Yes, right, Oh, I'll fucking go you for this, right,
let's go.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I would consider myself a very patient man when it
comes to women, right.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
I wouldn't say you're patient, for sure.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
I'm very patient. If we're getting ready for dinner, oh,
I don't care. I'm paying for the dinner. I'll take
us there. I'll organize the date. Just look good, and
I appreciate when a girl puts effort in to look
a certain way.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Yes, I'm offering I'll wait three hours.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Look, he would love for me to go out in
sweats and unshowered, Like, yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
I'm fine with that too.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
But if I'm going on a date, I'll put all
the work in. All you need to do is does
look good. And if it takes you three hours to
get ready, I'm completely fine with that. Yeah, but do not,
and I mean do not tell me I'm going to
be five minutes and then five minutes going by this
and you still put your ey lashes on. Ye, And
I'm like, just tell me exactly what time you're going
to be ready, and I well aimed for that time,
just the ten minutes I'm sitting there at ten minutes, Yeah,
(25:36):
she's I didn't got a shoes on, it's eleven minutes.
Like that is just triggering, Like it it recks my brain.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Like, girls, definitely do.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
That, just be honest and up front of it. Just
maybe even just put my expectations out the window. So
just say it's gonna be two hours, because then I
know I'm not gonna be waiting around and if you
get ready in an hour and a half, happy days.
Don't keep adding time to it because my brain fries.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
But also my brain fries. When I'm getting ready, someone goes,
are you nearly ready? I'm like, oh, now we're gonna
hours more.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Let's see.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Don't ask me. Don't ask me how I'm going now,
I'm going really bad. I'm like, please, just don't ask
me that question. How long will you be? Have you
got shot? Just maybe don't talk? But maybe guy, we're
going to read two hours later?
Speaker 2 (26:22):
No, because I.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
Would have skert and ready. I gotta get ready the
same time. I would ideally like to finish getting ready
the same time as you.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Why am I ready in my outfit increasing my linen
shirt that I've just ironed, waiting for you to put
your eyelash extensions on?
Speaker 1 (26:37):
I know. I feel like Lockie and I have switched
roles now because I'm like, I'm going to get ready
quick and fast, and he's always like, oh, I still
need to shower. I'm like, I don't care. You're not
getting in the shower, adults, you're getting in your outfit.
I'll help you slick your hair back. You're not showering.
I'm not waiting, so I understand the waiting is annoying.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
Do you guys have to ask like when you're deciding
to go like out that or like get like a
take away or does that anything major? But do you
argue with like what you want? Like do you say, like, oh,
what you find? And they're like, I don't I don't know.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Oh my god, yes, that wrecks me too, dude. Okay,
I'll give you a perfect example of lockie and what
absolutely boils my blood. I'll be like, hey, babe, what
do you want for dinner? I'm thinking we'll go out?
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Sure, yeah, yeah, I'm like sushi nah, not sushi Roy's
Italian Nah? All right, okay, fucking hell seafood nah. I'm like,
all right, well what do you want? He's like, I
don't know. I'm like giving you three options. You said
no to every option. Now you're not going to bring
just one to the table.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Nothing that my brain?
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Nothing that my brain. And it also rest my brain
when I asked like, oh, would you do you fancy this?
Speaker 4 (27:46):
Maybe?
Speaker 1 (27:47):
No?
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Maybe yeah I can do that. Would you want to
do it? Do you want to do it? So? Do
you know what, I've got a huck and you can
I'm going to see.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
You stop listening. Is all right, thanks for coming guys.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
All right.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
So what you say is you say, Lucky, I'm taking
you to your favorite restaurant tonight as a surprise and retreat.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
And you go, oh, what, We're going.
Speaker 3 (28:13):
To Rick Shaws And you're like yes, And then you're
going to Rick Shaws because he's decided for you.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
That's why they said that all the birds now.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Wait, so because you're picking their favorite restaurant.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
So like, if I'm okay, so if I it's like,
let me break back.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
The girl I'm seeing at the moment, she never decides.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Never decides, right. So literally, like last week I said
to her, I was like I knew that this. We're
going to have this conversation. Oh you will what you
were And I'm like, I'm not doing anymore. So I
said to her. I called her, I said I'm going
to take you out tonight and I teach your favorite players.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
She's like what really? And then yeah. And then then
they would say like oh Rick Shaws. I'm like yes.
But if I said, oh, I'm taking Rick Shaws, they'd
be like, oh, maybe they make the decision. It's so
much easier.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Yeah, that's so true. That's a good hat. It's a
good But then what if they don't repeat it?
Speaker 2 (28:59):
They do, they always do, they always do.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
And it could even just be like take away like oh,
like I'm should like anything it works, trust me, just trust.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Me and try it.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Okay, I'm going to try that.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Watched his episode. He's like, you can't pay the tricks
on me.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
He actually ordered for me the first time in like
eight years the other night, and he's like, I've got
you something and I'm like, what what what if I
don't feel like it? Like he knows I'm such a headcake.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
But it could be even something like just like a
breakfast or let's go for breakfast today where we're gonna go.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
I'll take you to your favorite players. Oh what this one?
And then you're that's what we're.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Correct, that's the one. Thank you calls the restaurant.
Speaker 4 (29:40):
Hey, no, the other one? What's the other? Okay?
Speaker 3 (29:54):
All right, guys, make sure you subscribe to the podcast
if you want to hear more. Follow all the off
air action on our Instagram Skywheekly and caldev Or Sky
and Calum Podcast and if you want to ask us
any questions chat to our producers. You can email us
anytime at Skyancalum at Norval podcast dot com, dot e
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