Haunting Adeline

Check your content warnings and turn on your nightlight things are getting dark in this episode as we look at part one of the Cat and Mouse Duet - Haunting Adeline by H.D. Carlton.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
This is Smutty Side Up. In each episode, we deep dive into a popular or not so popular

(00:14):
book in the romance world and all the sub-genres that encompasses.
We look at everything from the tropes and characters to weird euphemisms for genitalia
and tell you whether we think it's worth the read.
We're not here to kink shame or yuck anyone's yum. These are just our opinions and sometimes
we even disagree with ourselves. Content Warning. This is an explicit podcast.
If you are easily offended or have modest sensibilities, please listen to your own

(00:37):
discretion. If you are my father, brother, father-in-law, brother-in-law, identify as a
father to me or have ever called me like a sister to you, please turn this off immediately.
So sit back, let it candle and let's metaphorically practice fine on this week's book.
I'm Alexis and I'm Ricky. Hello. Hi. How you doing? I'm good. How are you? I am good. I'm sick,

(01:03):
but I'm good. Welcome home. Thank you. I uh, weirdly it was much warmer in the mountains,
so I am now bundled up in my coziest hoodie. But yeah, I was skiing. Ski, ski, skiing.
Um, you actually missed some of the colder days. I've heard. Yeah, I dipped to like negative 20

(01:26):
something at some point while you were away. Today it was a beautiful negative 10. Yeah,
my driveway got snowed on and I was not here to clear it. Oh, God. And now it's very icy and I
didn't do it today. I was working and I was like, no, I don't have it in me to go and ship the
two inches of ice off the driveway. So it's just not happening. Yeah, I actually slipped on black

(01:48):
ice today. It's my first slip of the winter. I didn't fall. I caught myself, but I dropped
grades not for daycare and was walking back to the car and I slipped and I, you know, did that weird
dance move that you do when you're like mid fall but trying to save yourself and I think I would
pull my back. Oh no. But I did not fall. I did not embarrass myself too much. I like caught a dude

(02:14):
who fell today. Oh, that's nice. I mean, I didn't catch him in time. Like I just got there. Oh,
no, I was walking where my little one goes to gymnastics. It's right on my chiropractor. So I
dropped her and then I just walk over and as I was walking, this older guy was getting into his
truck and just hit black guys and he fell so hard and slammed his head on like the running board of

(02:38):
his truck. And so he's like getting up and I'm running over me. Please stay down. Are you okay?
Do you have someone with you? Can someone watch your black? Can someone check in? Can someone else
drive? Oh my God. I get nervous. The way my car is parked on our driveway, we're like right up against
the grass, but there's like rocks before the grass and when it snows and it melts and creates ice,

(03:03):
it like makes those rocks super smooth ice and Grayson loves to try to get into the car by himself
and you're just walking on ice to get to that side of the car. It's just all ice. Every day I
like envision him just slipping and falling like flat on his head and it drives me nuts, but he
won't let me help him. So maybe he should wear a helmet. It's winter helmet season. I'm trying to

(03:28):
tell him how fun it is to get into the car from the other side and like climb across.
Mmm. How's that going? How's that sales bit working? You know, sometimes it works.
On good days it works. Okay, we're not going to harbor this because I think we have a big
episode today, but I was going to say I love skiing. I love skiing for many reasons. One is that I'm

(03:50):
kind of a bougie person. We're just going to own that. And skiing is basically surrounded by like
incredible amounts of bougie. So like, but you don't have to dress up. So you can go to a very
fancy restaurant in snow pants and a hat and like a sweaty mess and nobody judges you. They just
like bring you a martini. And uh, so when you're martinis, I know I like, I like a good gin

(04:16):
martini. I'm gonna say. Oh, sorry. I just have to interrupt you quickly. I also just want to
clarify. I was re listening to one of the episodes where you were talking about how you taught our
friend's daughter at 18 had to make a martini for any listeners. Um, that happened in Montreal
where the legal drinking age is 18. I when I listened to it, I was like, Oh God, we never
actually said that, which makes it sound real, real bad. So anyway, there you go. You're very,

(04:41):
you're very good to me because I just like, I guess people are going to think something. I don't
know. Just in case. Just in case. Um, anyways, but the other thing is, you know me, I'm an age
person and I have a hard time getting out of my head. When you are going down a very steep mountain
and there are a bunch of bumps and trees in front of you, you can't really be in your head.

(05:02):
Yeah. And we had one of the like weird, um, fate moments with my sister, which I don't know if we've
ever talked about. We have like this weird magic thing. Oh, I don't think we have. I was living
in Hawaii when my, uh, nephew was born and my sister was in labor and I knew that was happening.
It was like four in the morning where I was, I'm pacing around and my phone rings and it's her phone.

(05:23):
And all I can hear is the doctor being like, okay, you've got this, just a couple more
push and I hear him born. Like she didn't call you. She didn't call me. I, the, later,
like when I finally talked to her, I was like, thank you so much for thank Eden for calling me. So
I could hear that. She's like, what are you talking about? Her phone had been sitting on the window
cell. Nobody was near it. Nobody touched it. And she could see the echo and call like, it was real.

(05:45):
It's her phone called me and I listened to my nephew be born. I mean, that's really cool.
Yeah. That's really cool. So this one wasn't quite as good, but I forgot my phone on our last day.
So I was like, guys, you can't lose me because there's no way for me to be like,
this is where I am. Come find me. And we were going and we started this run and then she kind
of dipped into some blades. And so I followed her and then two turns later, I couldn't see her

(06:09):
anymore. I was like, she was gone. Of course. And I looked around and I was like, okay, well,
I think there's an open run like to the right. And so I just start kind of make my way out.
And I just am getting deeper into the woods with more moguls. And now I can't, I have no idea where
I am. No barrier. Oh my God. So I just found the chairlift and like skied under the chairlift
through the woods and the moguls to get down. And I was like, okay, well, this is it. Like,

(06:33):
I'll see them at lunch. I know what time we're meeting. So I'm just going to go off and ski.
So I went up the chairlift and I almost went down one run and I was like, it's a little chilly.
Like I'm going to go over here. And so I went to a different side of the mountain, went down,
skied around, came up a chairlift and I went over to the trail map just to see where I was going
to go next. And all of a sudden she comes bombing up and like hugs me from behind. So they had also

(06:56):
like come up, assuming we would never, we wouldn't find each other till lunch and just happened to
come off to go pee and started going towards when she saw me at the trail map. That's amazing. I love
it. I love it. There's definitely like some like, you know, connective force between siblings and
stuff like that. Like I love it. That's great. I'm so glad you had a good time. Yeah, we've decided

(07:18):
you must come next time. Sure. It's also a Ricky vacation because there's an activity.
There's good food. Like there's like all the... Works for me. Is there a spa? They have to have all three.
There's a spa on the last day. There you go. Perfect. Because I thought my legs were gonna die
a long time since I was on a mountain. I was gonna say, I need to even go down a couple runs. It's

(07:40):
been a long time. But yeah, that's awesome. I'm really happy. Glad you're home. I missed you.
Grayson saw the picture of you on the top of a mountain. He was very excited. Excellent. Yeah.
Yeah. All right. You're ready to jump in? Let's dive in. Okay. A couple of things to write off the top.

(08:01):
I'm sick. I'm so sorry to our listeners, but mostly to you because the editing you're gonna
have to do on this, I'm not envious. I'm so sorry. Number two, this is gonna be a long one. This
book nearly killed me. Sorry, not the book. Writing this nearly killed me. It took me two and a half

(08:22):
to three days just to figure out how I was going to approach this. And I'm not convinced I did a
really good job. So, you know, ask as many questions as you need to. Okay. Take notes if you feel that
that's easier. I don't know. It's very confusing. It jumps all over the place. I'm sorry. I'm just
gonna go back to the fact that I'm sick and it's been a whirlwind. Also, to our listeners, I say

(08:46):
like way too much. I'm sorry. Me too. I want to say that I'm gonna work on it. It's unlikely.
But just know that I heard it too and I don't like it either. Okay. Yeah. This is gonna be a
long one. We better, we better get in. Let's dive in. Okay. Today we are talking about Haunting

(09:06):
Adolin written by HD Carlton. Have you read this book? Yay. Okay. So I have not read this book. Okay.
I own this book. Okay. And the part two. Yep. They are sitting on my very scary TBR. So this
beautiful aestheticness of everything I've read, there is absolutely a hidden shelf down in the

(09:27):
corner that is all the books that I physically own that I haven't read yet. And I want to start it.
Like I'm interested in it. It seems really good. Every time I go look at them, they're just like
they're big girthy physical books. Yeah. And because there's two of them, I just, I get
intimidated, especially given that I've only in the last month learned how to like not finish a

(09:50):
book in one sitting. Okay. I didn't read the second one, or at least not yet. I'm not sure that I'm
going to. We'll get a little more into that too. Do you have the book with you somewhere? Can you
grab it? Let me go get it. So I'm gonna read my little blurb and then I'm gonna tell you why I
wanted you to pull that. So Haunting Adolin. Okay. Also, I read the whole thing being Haunting Adolin.

(10:14):
And then I listened to the audiobook the other day and they pronounce it Adolin.
So now my brain is doing that control F control R to like replace in my head. It's not working.
It's going to go back and forth. So Haunting Adolin written by HD Carlton. It's the first book of the
Cat and Mouse duet series, which includes book two, which is Haunting Adolin, and that Adolin and a

(10:38):
prequel called Satan's Affair. This book that I'm talking about is only Haunting Adolin. And it is
layered like an onion. We have present day Adolin dealing with her stalker while she's living in
her grandmother's manner. At the same time, she's trying to piece together the murder of her great
grandmother that took place in that same manner. We get snippets of Adolin's grandmother's life

(11:03):
through her diary and passages from the diary are like sprinkled throughout the book, but not
it's not always at the end of a chapter or like in a spot where she's
reading from the diary, it's kind of just placed. And because it's a duet, each chapter alternates
point of views between the male main character and the female main character. That is lovely for

(11:25):
a reader or a listener, but for writing out basically a book report, it makes it very challenging.
Initially, this book was banned from Amazon. Did you know that?
No. So it was banned from Amazon due to the trigger warnings that are presented at the
beginning of the book. Now, I don't 100% know what that means, because this book was published

(11:48):
a while ago. I should actually know the date, but I don't. So hang on. Oh, no, it was first
published in 2021. Okay. I thought it was older than it is. Okay. I only read it in 2024, listened
to it in 2025. I also read my books digitally for the most part. So my version of it has been

(12:09):
updated a bunch of times. It's not the same as having like a printed copy that was published
at some point, and then they reprint new ones. So I'm not sure what the original content warning
page was, but I did find the second one. I'm going to read you that content warning page.
This content warning page is not included this way in the digital book. So I want you to open

(12:34):
yours and tell me if you have a page that says important note. I do. Okay. I'm going to read it
out loud. None of these conspiracies derived from a belief in antisemitism or QAnon, but from my own
demented imagination, common conspiracies in the media, and many occult horror movies my dad used
to watch growing up. This book ends on a cliffhanger. The contents are very dark with triggering

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situations such as non slash dubious consent between the main characters, graphic violence,
human trafficking, stalking, child trafficking, child sacrifice, mentions of child death, and
explicit sexual situations. There are also particular kinks such as gunplay, somnophilia,
bondage, and degradation. This book was previously taken down due to the warning,

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but you can also find them in reviews on my website or feel free to message me directly.
Your mental health matters. It's the same. Okay. That's okay. I was kind of hoping you would have
the first generation of it. No. Because I cannot find that. I can't find photos of it or anything
anywhere. I know that there were references to the author doesn't want to sugarcoat real world

(13:45):
events and things that are currently taking place, whatever. I went down a bit of a rabbit hole
after reading that because when I was reading the book, I felt like I was finding things that

(14:09):
weren't really there. Okay. If you know what I mean. So I felt while I was reading it that there
were weird QAnon parallels. But like, why would an author write a book with QAnon parallels? So
I ignored it. I have a habit of looking for things like that. So this wasn't new to me,

(14:33):
but I did Google it after and it turns out that I am not off my rocker. This was a big thing.
It's all over Reddit. It's all over the internet. This book includes a blood liable storyline.
Which really stuck out to me even while I was reading it. But there's no mention of religion
at any point in this book. So again, I tried to kind of just tell myself that I'm like imagining

(15:00):
things, which is very possible. Apparently, HD Carlton made a post on her Instagram and TikTok
explaining that all of these parallels were entirely unintentional. She said she is absolutely
not anti-semitic and that the book was going to be re-edited and re-released without the blood
libel storyline. Okay. That was like two years ago that she made that post. Can you explain

(15:24):
what is blood libel? So the blood libel is a false anti-semitic conspiracy or accusation that Jews
were murdering Christians to use and drink their blood for religious rituals. It's also the
historical precursor to the Satanic panic belief. Okay. When everyone thought that people were

(15:46):
doing satanic rituals, all of it traces back to anti-semitism and Jewish blood libel. So that's
what that is. I guess, yeah, I should have set that up off the top. In this book, she claimed that
she was going to edit it and re-release it. And that was two years ago that she made the post,
although I have not been able to find the post because she has deleted it. But I read this

(16:09):
book in 2024 and I listened to it in 2025 and there is absolutely still a blood libel storyline.
So I don't know how I feel about that. I don't have a clue if H.D. Carlton is anti-semitic or
a QAnon follower. I do believe that an author could have come up with this storyline without
realizing what exactly they were putting to paper. The only thing I really find weird is why you would

(16:34):
post an apology and post that you're going to take steps to rectify something and then not
action on it at all. And then to remove it is kind of a bit of a question mark as well.
The copy I have feels like it is self-published. Do we have... Is there a publisher of record?

(16:55):
No, it might have been... Hang on. Yeah, I think it is self-published.
Yeah, so I mean the only theory I have, having a small, tentative, you know,
toe into the publishing world through the children's activity book that I co-authored,
is, you know, when you print a book, if you're doing it with a publisher, they do a batch run.

(17:21):
And so a publisher wouldn't do a reprint with an edit until they've sold through everything they've
got, right? Because it's just money. Even if it's something controversial like that?
I think it depends on how controversial and how... Yeah.
Like how much... Again, I'm not making an accusation. I have no... I really... Like I
did research on this very specific thing, but I didn't research her as like a whole, like as a person.

(17:46):
It's very possible that it was totally unintentional. And I'm sure a lot of people don't actually know that
even like the satanic rituals that were described in like the 80s and 90s and satanic panic, like
most people don't know that that traces back to anti-Semitic roots. Yeah, I didn't know.
Oh, so there you go. Like I don't think that many people would be like super offended to find a satanic
ritual in a book like this, which is why I honestly, I didn't really give it more than

(18:11):
a passing thought. And only because I am Jewish, I know about this stuff. It wasn't until I started
looking into the QAnon side of things online that a lot of people were talking about both.
And again, it... The only thing that bugs me is why would you make a post saying,
A, making it very clear that you are not anti-Semitic and you're not a QAnon follower,

(18:32):
and B, posting that you are going to take action to change it because of the response you're getting,
but then not do any of that and delete the post. Yeah, no, I don't know. That's very weird.
It was weird. Anyway, we can move on from that now. All right, tropes. We got a stalker romance.
This is a dark romance. We have a possessive male main character. We have a toucher and

(18:55):
die scenario. Those are the ones I came up with. I like it. I'm sure there are a million more. I
just got so overwhelmed by this. So we're sticking with those. Got it. Cover art. I'm going to send
you the cover art. Oh, yeah, you have her in front of you. Okay, go ahead and describe it. So I
forgot that I did that. This beefy motherfucker is very, very dark just in color palette. There are

(19:22):
there's a gray skull wearing a crown or a tiara. There are spider webs, there's butterflies in
black and white, and then there are some red roses. Fawnt is like very like old fashioned
seraphie and it's been given kind of a metallic treatment. And yeah, I mean, this is part of why

(19:43):
I got overwhelmed because on the spine, it does literally says one as in one of two. And so knowing
that and knowing that it ended on a cliffhanger, what I was going to have to read in one sitting
when I started it really. In one sitting, the audio book is like 15 hours long. Yeah. Yeah,
this is a really big book. It's like the writing is there are parts of it that are extremely well

(20:09):
written and there are parts of it that are just not. But stylistically, there's a lot of details,
a lot of like graphic and flowery descriptions of things, which I really like. I find that that
like brings me into a story more. So I did enjoy the writing, but then there's parts of it where
I'm like, oh, grammatically, not as great. So if that bugs you, I mean, it's not as bad as like

(20:31):
the 50 Shades of Grey situation was when I was finding typos in the book. But but there are
some points where I'm like, you needed a comma or like, that's the wrong, the wrong word for the
situation. That's so interesting. My English lit snob brain used to have issues with the
Bronte sisters for a very similar thing. I don't need seven pages explaining the path. I'm like,

(20:57):
I like a little I like a good description. I mean, he had his own issues and was a bit of a
misogynist. But like Hemingway, he's very explained explained everything. There was a little detail,
but he got it done in like three sentences. I need that I need like I'd like the detail,
but I'd like it to move more quickly, please. Can I tell you, you and I both are very specific on

(21:19):
what we like in terms of writing style. The one thing I know about you that differs from me in
terms of what we like, but grammatically, is that you love an Oxford comma. Oh my God. I hate
an Oxford comma. It breaks my brain, Ricky. I need it. I need the when I write things to you.

(21:44):
I put in the Oxford comma just for you. She hit it. You're welcome. When we were working together,
I put it in everything even though I absolutely hated it because I was like, if Alexis reads this,
she's going to tell me to put it in anyway. So I might as well just skip that step. Oh my God,
I was such a tyrant. You're like, I'm preemptively. It's the only thing. It's the only thing I knew
about you from like a grammatical standpoint. I think one time I had you edit something and you

(22:07):
were like, Oh, you missed a comma there and immediately I clocked it. And I was like, Oh,
she's a she's an Oxford comma gal. Yeah, I really am. All right. Just proudly owning it.
No, there's nothing to be, you know, don't be ashamed. It's all good. Okay, character descriptions.
Can I give you the character descriptions? I do not have quotes. I do not have photos. We don't

(22:30):
have time for that. So we got Adalyn Riley, aka the manipulator, aka little baffs, 26 year old.
She is a successful author who recently moved into her grandmother's home Parsons Manor,
following her grandmother's death. She is five foot seven with light brown eyes and cinnamon colored
hair. Then we have Zade, aka Z, aka the shadow, aka kitty cat. He is a 32 year old vigilante

(23:04):
and hacker and the CEO of Z. He is six foot six with black hair, Heterchromia with one dark
brown, almost black eye and one like ice blue, almost white and a scar that slashes from his
forehead right down through the discolored eye to the middle of his cheek. He has a jawline so sharp

(23:25):
he could cut diamonds with it, a straight aristocratic nose, full lips. He has a muscular build and
his body is covered in tattoos. Okay. Okay. We're going to dive right into the summary.
Go. Stay with me. All right. I've said this. I think this will be the third time I'm mentioning this.

(23:45):
Adalyn, a successfully young author, has decided to move into her grandmother's estate,
Parsons Manor, which was left to her after her grandmother passed away.
I think that is the only thing we all understand now. We know where she lives. She's on the phone
with her mother who firmly believes that the manor should be torn down. And at some point in the
conversation, her mother calls her grandmother worthless. So Adalyn just like hangs up on her,

(24:06):
which is a very, very ricky move. I like that I hang up on people if I don't want to talk to you.
Later at a book signing with her assistant, Adalyn explains that she hates these events and is
always uneasy at them. This time she feels as though someone's watching her. So she scans the
crowd and her eyes land on a man with two different colored eyes and a large scar going down his face.

(24:27):
She looks down to sign a book and when she looks up, he's gone.
After the book signing, Adalyn meets with her best friend, Daya, who insists that Adalyn needs to
have sex. Daya takes Adalyn's phone and texts sexually explicit messages to Grayson spelled
with an E. Adalyn's former sexual partner. Grayson with an E responds that he will be over later.

(24:52):
Later on, Grayson with an E tries to initiate something with Adalyn,
but she's just not feeling it and suddenly there's loud knock at the door.
Adalyn checks, but there's no one there. Grayson with an E still wants to fuck, but Adalyn doesn't.
Not that she ever really did, so Grayson with an E storms out and on his way, he punches a hole in her wall.

(25:13):
Is this where we point out that you have to say Grayson with an E because your son is Grayson with an A?
Yes. Grayson with an E in this book was also just such a douchey character that I was just like,
I cannot have my son associated with such an asshole. Also, another sidebar, at one point in

(25:37):
one of our previous episodes, I said that I had read a book with a main character whose name is
Nash and that I closed the book. I did not. I actually read the book and I know that because
I went through a list of what I should do next and I was like, oh, that was a really good book and
I clicked on it and I was like, oh, I actually read this book and it was in my top 10 of last year.
You just disassociated. Absolutely. Because I read it when Nash was first firstborn.

(26:04):
His name wasn't fully associated with him yet in my head. Having reread one chapter to see if I
could get through it again. It was way harder now. Okay. Here we get our first entry from Gigi's
diary. So her great-grandmother Gigi. It was dated April 4, 1944, in which Gigi notes that a man is

(26:26):
stalking her. She doesn't plan to tell her husband, John. And she also notes that she is both afraid
and intrigued. We cut to the shadow, aka Zade, and he is torturing a man for information. The man who
is unnamed says that a man named Josh runs the warehouse and he implies that the warehouse is
a base of operations for trafficking girls. The shadow calls him a child rapist before killing

(26:51):
him. This is our first mention of that content warning. When he's done, the shadow just goes out
to get a burger. But he stops when he sees Adalyn's picture advertising her book signing. He goes to
the signing and finds a spot near the back to stare at her. He is immediately in awe of Adalyn,
and he claims that he is initially, sorry, that he is instantly obsessed with her. He thinks about

(27:15):
kidnapping her, but decides just to leave instead. Which I think is interesting that he could just
flip that switch and be like, no, I'm not going to kidnap her. I'm just going to go.
Yeah. I mean, maybe he has some self-control. I feel like we have a long book, so maybe not
a lot of self-control, but yeah, he's not great with it. Now we flip back to Adalyn.

(27:38):
She takes a look at the hole that Grayson with me punched in her wall, and in it,
she finds a safe containing her great-grandmother's diaries. Adalyn falls asleep reading Gigi's
diaries and wakes up to a loud bang on her door. As she walks through the house, she sees a red
rose, and with the rose it had its thorns removed, and it's laying on her kitchen counter. She's

(27:59):
searching her house for clues as to who was there, but she doesn't find anything. The only place left
to search is the attic, but she's not ready to do that because the attic was her grandmother's
favorite place in the house, and she spent a lot of time up there, and she's still grieving her
grandmother's passing, so she doesn't go up to the attic. The next day, Adalyn and her best friend
Daya are chatting, and Adalyn tells her all about Grayson with an E, the hole that he punched in

(28:25):
her wall, and the rose, but she doesn't tell her that she found her great-grandmother's diaries.
Daya works as an activist. She is a hacker, and she hacks into databases to collect government
secrets. So keep that in mind. We get another diary entry. This entry notes that John, so Gigi's

(28:47):
husband, left for work in Seraphina, whose her daughter and Adalyn's grandmother has left for
school. Gigi's stalker enters the house. He caresses Gigi, and that's a quote because I don't know
what that means, then leaves, and Gigi is confident that he will return. No words were spoken.

(29:09):
Weird interaction, but he came and went. Daya comes to the manor to help Adalyn clean it out
and clear out some of her grandmother's stuff. Adalyn once again finds another rose, and this
time she tells Daya what's been happening, and Daya insists that Adalyn comes stay with her,
but Adalyn doesn't back down, and she says she'll be fine so she stays in her home.

(29:33):
We get another diary entry, explaining that Gigi has started offering her stalker sexual favors
in exchange for him speaking, but he still doesn't. He refuses to talk. Her husband, John, is getting
more suspicious of her behavior. Okay. We jump three weeks. Adalyn is standing by the cliffs

(29:53):
next to her home, and a construction worker comes to tell her that they're done for the day,
and before leaving he lets her know that someone dropped off a bouquet of roses for her.
She finds a note attached to the roses that says, I'll see you soon, and for the first time he uses
the nickname that he has for her, which is Little Mouse. It's around this time that Adalyn starts
to believe that her great-grandmother was maybe killed by her stalker, and she's getting nervous

(30:16):
about parallels that she's seeing in her own life compared to her great-grandmother's life.
Another diary update. Gigi's stalker has finally spoken to her and told her that his name is Ronaldo,
and he told her that he loves her, and they kiss. Passionately. Okay.
I mean, really, we came to it. Now we come back to the shadow. She was, she was, oh, she was so into it.

(30:37):
Yeah, she was offering sexual favors to hear his voice a while ago, so.
Yeah. The diary passages were also written in like more flowery, like old-timey
words, like I don't know how to explain it, but um, so like the sexual favors was like hilarious for
me to read, because it wasn't, it wasn't as like, like this book is extremely graphic when it comes

(31:00):
to the smut, but she, they didn't put that kind of smut in like great-grandmother's diary entries,
so. That's weird. It's like she was being modest by all comparisons. Okay, so we cut to the shadow,
also known as Z, so his colleagues know him as Z. He's standing outside of a warehouse getting
ready to raid the building by himself to save the kidnapped children that are being held there for
sex trafficking. This is what he does. While making his way through the building, he has

(31:24):
his friend and coworker J in his ear, giving him the way of the land and unlocking any doors that
he comes to. It's here that we learn that Z, or the shadow, was a hacker exposing government secrets
before he started this underground organization that finds and rescues kidnapped children and
sex trafficking victims. Z kills all the men that he finds except for the leader, and he saves all

(31:47):
the girls. Okay. We're gonna, we're gonna get a lot of juxtaposition between what Z does for a
living and what Z does to Adeline, or for fun. Okay. Back at Parsons Manor, Daya convinces Adeline to
go out dancing, and while they're at the club, Adeline starts flirting with a guy named Arch.
Any comments on the name Arch? I mean, we've discussed it. We've, these books have weird names,

(32:13):
I assume. I mean, I have, I don't know any archers, but it feels like a very like
upper class East Coastie. Like you expect him to be like the third.
I'm trying to figure out what's his name. Archer? I mean, that's the only one that
heard Arch as like a short form of archer. Archibald. There we go. Yeah. Even more. So much more.

(32:40):
Even more. Yes. He definitely has played polo at least once. Oh yeah. Archibald introduces
her to his brother Connor, a guy named Max and a set of twins, Luke and Landon. I only mentioned
this part because I've commented that there are more twins in romance book world than in the real

(33:02):
world and I stand by it. Also, oh my God, I spilled water on my computer like two months ago, and my
keyboard is so fucked. Like every once in a while, I'll like type something and it'll just decide
that every letter I typed should be typed twice. Oh no. So my notes are just red squiggly lines

(33:25):
everywhere because I don't have time to go back and fix it. So it's taking me a bit to figure out
what I even wrote half the time. All right. While chatting with the guys, Z-Tex Adolin telling her
that he will cut off Arch's hands if he touches her. She briefly hesitates, but decides not to let
her stalker dictate her life and she brings Arch home with her anyway. Okay. We get another update.

(33:48):
Yeah. We get another diary update. Gigi describes how Ronaldo comes right after Seraphina goes to
school. He undresses Gigi and teases her, but he never stays or goes further than caressing her.
Okay. Adolin, yeah. Adolin and Arch start fucking in her sunroom overlooking Cliff's edge

(34:10):
when they are interrupted by a knock at the door. Arch takes his gun out and goes to investigate.
Adolin starts to freak out, not knowing that he had a gun in the first place and wondering
why he had it at all. I'm not gonna say why. Why is there just a gun? Yeah. I don't know.
When she doesn't hear anything, she goes to check outside and she finds a rose covered in blood,

(34:30):
but no human beings to be found. Okay.
Okay. Not the night she expected. No, but...
Okay. We cut to the shadow. He did not like seeing Arch and Adolin together, so he knocked on the door.
He grabbed Arch as soon as Arch opened the door and then he stabbed him and knocked him unconscious

(34:52):
before bringing him back to his base of operations. Z-Straps arched to a table and on the floor next
to that table is the boss man from the warehouse. Before Z killed him, he gave up the head honcho's
name and location. Okay. So he did get the information he was looking for, and now there's a dead
man on the floor next arch. We learn that Arch's family is an organized crime and when he comes to,

(35:17):
he initially believes that is why he was taken. Z explains that he does not give two shits about
the fact that his family is an organized crime, and then he tortures him and ultimately kills Arch,
noting that he will also have to kill Arch's family to avoid any retaliatory moves.
Okay. Yeah. All right. Thoughts? Anything? Well, I mean, I had so much hope for Z. They were really

(35:44):
setting him up, you know. He's a hacker, but he's saving, you know, young women being sex trafficked,
but I mean, he's now also just killing Rando's. Yeah, he turns out to be a bad guy, but he didn't
know that. Didn't really care. Did not care. No. Did not care. He did know that before he

(36:04):
took him, but he didn't care. Yeah, he knew. Do you think if he knows everything? Do you think if
Arch had been like a public attorney, he would have changed what he did? No. No. Not even a little.
No. Yeah. So here's my, my thing. Like, we're going to find more nuance in these characters,

(36:25):
but right off the bat, I don't know about the term morally gray. Like,
he, this guy may be morally gray, but for me, I am okay with morally gray when it is like,
he's a good person, but he will do bad things to protect the woman he loves.

(36:45):
Mm-hmm. But I was like, when he's doing bad things because he wants to or to that woman,
it loses its appeal to me. I agree. So, so other things that he does in the book
follow along that line of like an okay, morally gray Auntie here. Yeah. This one in particular,

(37:09):
I don't love, specifically for what you just said. We get more details when you're reading
about this in the book, like about Arch. He's not a good guy. We already know that he's an
organized crime. He's also a rapist. He abused his wife, his ex-wife. Like, there's a lot more
that we learn that I think it's the author's attempt at making you not care about the fact

(37:30):
that he is about to kill him for no real reason. It didn't land for me. I still cared. I still
didn't like it because ultimately he is killing him because Adalyn took him home. And genuinely,
all that would have had to happen is like she invited him home, they started hooking up, he
wanted to do something she didn't want to and she asked him to stop and he didn't. And then I would

(37:51):
have been fine with his death. Like, I know that's such a weird arbitrary thing, but like...
No, it's not. It's not because there is a line in this book at that point where it says like,
he was planning to hurt her. But it doesn't... He might have been like planning to hurt her in a
way that like sometimes women like pain with pleasure. Like, it doesn't explicitly go into like,

(38:15):
was he planning to kill her? Was he planning to actually rape her? Like, what was the...
Because she was willing and able. Like, there was... It wasn't going to be a rape thing. So,
anyway, that part, it didn't land. The morally great part didn't land for me here.
Okay. It's now a beautiful Sunday and Adalyn goes to check the mail and finds two severed hands
and a note in her mailbox. The note reads, while I will enjoy punishing you every time you call

(38:40):
the police, let's hold off this time. Wouldn't want to have to hurt them next. Little mouse.
Cool. Love a good morning threat with my dismembered body parts.
Yeah. So, this brings up the fact that she has in the past called the police. She had made reports
about having a stalker. Reports have been filed, but it seems like every time she makes a report,

(39:03):
it's like new information. Yeah.
Because her... Dot, dot, dot. That's because it is. Because every time she makes a report,
he hacks in and deletes the report. I was gonna say, because her stalker's a hacker who is removing
the files as soon as they're in. Yes. So, she doesn't know that. It's getting very frustrating for
her. She's in that situation where she's like, what's the point in reporting it if nobody's

(39:25):
gonna do anything about it? Or if every time I do, nobody's actually saving the file. So,
she's in that in-between phase where she's just like, fuck this. Yeah.
Daya comes over to Parsons Manor and confirms that Arch's whole family is dead and the police have
no leads. Daya and Adalyn try to look further into her great-grandmother's case and determine

(39:51):
that they either need to identify Ronaldo or they need to find the pages of her diary that have been
ripped out. That night, Adalyn wakes up to noises in her house and when she hears the front door open
and close, she looks out of her bedroom window and she sees Z turn back and smile at her as he walks
away from the house. Can I ask a third question? Is this... Did Adalyn read all of the diaries and

(40:17):
now we're just getting them entry by entry? Or is she reading them slowly as we go? Do we know?
That's a really interesting question. Because they know their page is torn out. So, I'm assuming
they've looked for as much information as they can and we're just as the reader getting it.

(40:37):
That's a really interesting question. I don't know if it's... I don't know if that's made entirely
clear because that would be a really slow... Like, if you'd be curious about your great-grandmother's
murder, you wouldn't read it page by page one page per day. Yeah, especially now they're saying that
we need to identify him. They know there's nothing that identifies him in the diaries

(40:58):
and that their page is ripped out. So, my assumption is that they've read them all and we just as the
reader are getting bits of this information to build this fence, but... Yeah, that's how it feels.
That's more of what it feels like, yeah. Keep in mind as well, like, Adalyn knew about her great-grandmother's

(41:18):
murder before she found the diaries. Like, it's not a secret, everyone knew, but it was just never
solved and the case went cold. So, yeah, that's interesting. I feel like it's read more as like
she knew about it, but we're getting bits and pieces. Yeah, that's interesting. I think that also

(41:40):
comes down to it being maybe like a self-published novel, whereas like that's something that a
publisher would maybe clock and be like, what is happening here? Are you reading it along with the
main character or is this because it's not really talked about or like it's not made super clear?
I'm just having flashbacks to Verity being like, how slow are we reading this fucking novel?

(42:03):
Yeah, that's interesting. It's interesting because I did pick up on it in Verity and I did not pick up
on it here. I think the reason is because in Verity, the female main character was the one
reading the manuscript to you. Like, you knew that she was reading it, she would say she was

(42:24):
reading it, and in this book it's not written that way, it's literally just a page that actually
looks more like a diary page. You can open your book and kind of flip through it because I'm basing
it off of the digital one. Yeah, so like there's actual... Yeah, so it's like aged and like made
to look like a diary page and it's just kind of thrown in wherever it needs to be. So like,

(42:46):
it does give you context to what's happening next in the book, but it's not like in a very specific
manner. Can I say something else that makes me feel dumb for not having opened this book?
There's a lot of space. Like, it's not a dense words to per page situation.
No. How many pages is that book? That looks massive. So it's 583.

(43:12):
That's a lot, but it's not like a... It looks like it's got more spacing between the lines than the
average novel does. Yeah, I mean there's lots of like arts and the individual lines are like,
I mean it looks double spaced. I mean it makes a lot more sense now because I was very confused
because I did look up the audiobook runtime of this when I was deep in the middle of my book

(43:34):
for next week, which is only a little under 600 pages but runs almost nine hours longer.
Oh yeah, because I said 15 and you said what, 24? Yeah, that's 24. Yeah, so that tells you that it's
not written super dense in this book. Well, and there's those... The diary pages, they break up

(43:56):
a lot more. Yeah, and there's images. Like there's a lot of imagery on yours. Mine has the diary pages
because the digital copy, it has the diary pages but doesn't have the... Like I know I saw like the
first page of the chapter was more of like an image with some writing. It doesn't have that. Yeah.
Yeah, it doesn't have that. Okay.

(44:18):
We get another diary update. Gigi points out that Ronaldo was hurt when she saw him, like physically
hurt. The two have sex and Gigi is ashamed but she does not regret it. Okay. When Adalyn is
investigating Gigi's journals, she hears a thump and goes to see what's up and she spots Z on her
lawn. She charges out of the house to confront him and he just licks his lips and walks away.

(44:46):
Yeah. Okay. Three days later, he shows up on her lawn again. She sees him through her window and
in an effort to piss him off or make him jealous, she turns her head and pretends to speak to someone
who's like out of sight from the window. Z checks his phone and after 15 minutes, he leaves. You see,
Adalyn had security cameras installed all over her manner. But what she didn't know was that she

(45:08):
had hired Z's company to install them and now he has access to her cameras. So he checked to make
sure that no one was in the house with her. Again, like, are you trying to get someone killed?
I like, don't pretend someone's there. Also, just like never have someone over again. His last

(45:29):
reaction was I'm gonna murder him and chop off his hands and then he did. I'm gonna kill his
whole family. Yeah. Well, he's like, I'm also not gonna go down for this. I gotta kill everyone.
Yeah. No, no, no. I mean, I love that I'm blaming her. Like, that's, like, wow, way to victim blame.
Yeah, I mean, she should have picked better stalkers. Honestly, I don't have an answer for

(45:53):
her too, because I'm like, then call the cops. And it's like, well, she has. I'm so sorry, Adalyn.
This is not your fault. Go to the attic? That's the only thing I can think. Maybe go to the attic?
I don't think that's gonna help her all that much. Okay. Okay. After another of her book signings,
she finds her house full of roses, and there's a used whiskey glass on her counter. She calls the

(46:16):
police to investigate, and she ends up spending the night at Daya's house. While she's there,
she receives a text from Z asking if he if she liked the flowers. I find that so creepy.
Yeah. I'm assuming if we were seeing his perspective or knew what he was thinking,
you would have been sharing at this point. Like, are we going back and forth? Are we

(46:37):
hearing from him? For the most part, I did have to cut out a lot because it's too much. But
Gotcha. He acknowledges that he's a stalker, and he's like, she will fall in love with me.
But what's he getting out of being in her house and drinking whiskey and leaving?
Loves the chase. The entire, this entire book, it's called the cat and mouse duets.

(47:01):
He loves being the one chasing her. He loves when she's scared. He loves being the one to
put her in that position. That's it. That's it. That's the whole thing. He loves it. He loves
having the power. He loves pointing out that he has the power. Okay. Yeah. He's psycho. All right.

(47:25):
I didn't know this. Ricky just tapped her temple. That's the signal. Listen, that's a signal for a
lot of things. Yes. I mean, he's six foot six. Like, he's, he's tall. He's hot. He can do whatever
the fuck he wants, apparently. Do you know that theory? Is he tall or is he hot? Oh, yes. I love

(47:46):
that theory. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We got another diary update. Woohoo. Gigi admits that she is
enjoying her affair with Ronaldo. John is suspicious, but not, not too suspicious. But Gigi
worries that he will definitely get there soon. She notes that John makes her feel like a servant
while Ronaldo makes her feel special and feminine. We cut back to Z. Z shows up at his headquarters

(48:14):
and he's shown a new video from Jay. So this is a content warning trigger warning moment.
The video shows four men, the video shows four men performing some kind of sacrificial ritual on a
teenage boy. This is the blood libel that I was talking about. They're killing him, marking themselves
with his blood and then drinking it. The descriptions of these videos in the books are very detailed

(48:38):
and absolutely heartbreaking. This is not the first video like this that Z has seen,
and he suspects that they are all prominent and influential people in that video that are part
of some kind of ring. Later, Z is in Parsons' manner. He rewatches the video on repeat in
Adelaide's kitchen while she sleeps upstairs. Z remembers that he moved to Seattle specifically

(49:00):
to end the trafficking ring involved in this ritual, and he's grateful that he met Adalyn
as a result, but he needs to focus. There's a lot of mention of the manor being haunted and feeling
like other presences presence in the home. At one point, Adalyn says she thinks she saw
Gigi's ghost walk into the attic. So this time, Adalyn follows her. She confronts the ghost and

(49:23):
asks her to show Adalyn what she needs, and just then a board falls showing two notes. The first
note is a confession about trying to cover up Gigi's murder, but that is unsigned. The second
is the missing page from Gigi's diary, and it read, I have to be quick. He says he's on his way,

(49:48):
and I'm terrified. If I run, he'll catch me, so I'm writing this note down in hopes someone will
find it. If something happens to me, John, it was... dot dot dot. She's cut off. Frustrated that the
page wasn't complete, and it didn't give her a name. Adalyn left the attic and spotted Z on her
lawn again. Z and Adalyn start exchanging texts. Adalyn threatens to call the police, and Z says

(50:13):
that he will punish her if she does. She calls them anyway, and tells them a better stalker,
but chooses not to show them the text messages. Leader at Daya's house, Adalyn tells her that
her stalker has been texting her, and though Daya tries, she is unable to trace the texts back to
a specific person or location. Daya tells Adalyn that Luke, one of Arch's friends from the bar,

(50:36):
has been asking her about Arch and Adalyn, and though she thinks she did a pretty good job
convincing him that they weren't involved in the murder of Arch and his family, they are
at least a little bit nervous. Like, it's at least on their minds that somebody is asking questions.
We got another diary update. Gigi and Ronaldo had an argument the other day, and now she's in a bad

(50:58):
mood. John's friend Frank had come by the house and tried to cheer her up, but Gigi's torn between
leaving John for Ronaldo or staying put. Back home, Adalyn receives a text from Z asking if she's ready
for her punishment. She grabs a knife and goes searching for him, finds him on her balcony. He
is standing there smiling and holding a knife. He walks directly up to her, grabs her knife,

(51:24):
letting it cut him before throwing it aside, and then they play a game of cat and mouse,
and I am going to read you a passage from the book.
Are you here to kill me? I ask Loli, trying my best to mask the tremors racking through my body.
I'm failing. Slowly he shakes his head. Why would I do that? I'm not sure how to answer that, he

(51:45):
continues. I wouldn't kill you little mouse. I want to keep you. What if I don't want you to? He smiles.
You will. I open my mouth ready to tell him about himself and his mama,
and the words die on my tongue when he reaches up a hand and swipes his thumb roughly across my
bottom lip. Mmm, he growls in delight. Here's what's going to happen. I'm going to allow you the

(52:08):
opportunity to run and hide. If I find you, then I will deliver your punishment. If I don't, you go
unpunished and I will leave. I pinch my eyes shut, a small single strand of hope threading through
the hysteria. I know this has like the back of my hand. I know where the good hiding spots are.
There are two bedrooms down there in the hallway on the bottom floor. The first bedroom has a tiny

(52:30):
little nook in the back of the closet, just barely able to fit my body in. But I used to hide there
all the time when Nana and I would play hide and seek. Fine, I whisper. How long will you search
for me before I win? He smiles. I'll give you five minutes before your ass is bent over my knee.
So this is the game. She runs and hides. He obviously finds her. She tries to get away.

(52:54):
He obviously wins. There's a trend in these books. Also, he has cameras, uh,
access to every camera in her house. Yes. It's not exactly a like difficult game. No, it's funny.
I never thought of that. I thought he just knew the house. He's cheating. Oh, that totally ruins it.

(53:16):
It's so much better if he just like knew the layout of the house. Shit. Yeah, no, I mean, he may have,
he may know the house, but he also could have just turned on his phone and been like, Oh, there she is.
That sucks. Hiding in that board. That sucks. Oh man, that ruined it for me. Also, I feel really
dumb now. It's okay. Okay. She starts to cry. He admits that he likes when she's scared.

(53:38):
He has her pushed up against a wall where she tries to fight his advances.
And it feels like they're each building off of each other's aggression until he has her lying
on her back with himself on top of her and he pulls out a gun. This shuts her up real fast.
This moment is broken up by another diary entry. This is what I mean when they are just like thrown
about. This was not a place for a diary entry. Gigi notes that her and John have grown apart and she

(54:04):
feels bad that she broke his heart. However, she feels that she's mending herself and she's glad
that Seraphina can keep them together. Frank is revealed to be a police officer in this note, which
is useful information for sure. Back to the fucked up stuff and trigger warning here. This is very
messed up. It is a smud scene involving a firearm. So listen at your own discretion or hit that 30

(54:28):
second forward button. Adolin is convinced that he's going to kill her despite the fact that he has
said multiple times that he isn't. He demands that she take off her clothes and starts running the
barrel of the gun up and down her body. She is super pissed at herself because she is so fucking wet
and he knows it. But then he tells her to suck the barrel of the gun and shit just gets super weird.

(54:50):
Once she does that, he uses the gun barrel on her clit and then he starts fucking her with it.
At first she is terrified and frozen in fear, which yeah. But like the pleasure somehow overtakes
her and right before she's about to come, he asks her what she's learned. So she says not to bite

(55:14):
your cheek in reference to the fact that she had bit his cheek when he was trying to get things
started and he started to bleed. To accentuate his point that that was not the correct answer,
he cocks the gun. Jesus Christ. Yes. I, reading this, I was sweating. Obviously I knew she would

(55:34):
survive, but this is not hot. Like I was so, like could not have been drier. This was not what I was
looking for. It was. You were the Sahara. Yeah, it's fine. Truly. My anxiety for her in this moment.
Oh yeah, I felt so bad. I was so scared. You know nothing bad's gonna happen. Obviously we've got

(55:55):
this fucking ginormous book to get through. Plus a second. Could you imagine if he accidentally
did kill her though and then the whole rest of the book and the second one are actually not about her
at all? I mean that would actually be super, super interesting. Would be weird. Her name is in the
title of both of them. Anyway, okay, so he cocks the gun. She quickly responds with the correct

(56:16):
answer now, obviously, which is not to let another man touch her. He gives her 10 seconds to come.
Once she's done, he licks the gun clean, slips it back into the back of his pants, and leaves
with that another word. Okay. Is it? I don't know. I don't. I feel unsettled. Same. And let me tell

(56:43):
you, reading it a second time, listening to it, didn't make me feel any better. Okay. Yeah.
That's also their first sexual interaction. Yeah. I can tell you from reading the reviews,
you lost a lot of people with that one. A lot. A lot, a lot. I feel like a lot of them would have

(57:08):
maybe hung on if that was like the second or third interaction, but the first one was not
involving a firearm in somebody's vagina. Yeah. But yeah, lots of people were not having any of that,
which makes me question myself just a little bit. Yeah, I mean, don't question yourself. We listen
and we don't judge. Okay. At least we say that, but then our faces. I judge a lot. I will give him

(57:36):
here's my one redeeming thing. Based on the way you've been setting up as a character and his need
for power, I would have assumed it would have been like, Amy's going to edge her, or he was going to
take his pleasure and leave her unsatisfied. Like, given the power dynamic that he's been setting up,
that was what I was preparing myself for. So, you know, at least he's a giver, even if he's a

(58:01):
Yeah, there is like mention of edging and like, he starts to edge her at some point, but throughout
all of it, that's not really his goal. Like, it's he doesn't want to edge her and then like, not let
her finish. Yeah, because like, that's not his end game. He really does want her to fall in love with
him. I don't think a gun was the appropriate instrument for that. No, I would not have fallen

(58:26):
in love with him. But does that lend we will find out. Also, all I can think is like, they give you
very explicit warnings to like, wash your dildos before and after a pH balance situation. And I
was like, what kind of bacteria is in that woman's vagina now? Like, what is happening? I don't even,

(58:47):
I can't even wrap my head around that. Also, I don't know anything about guns. I'm just going to put
that out there. We, you know, no guns in my family. I've shot a gun one time at a gun range.
And it hurt my shoulder. So I don't think I'll be doing it again. But aren't there like notches on
the top of a gun barrel? Like, it's not like just a cylinder. But no, but like, people also, you

(59:13):
know, get piercings all over their dick. Texture is not the biggest concern. I don't know. I don't
know how sharp those notches are, though. I'm not talking like people don't like, you know, some bumpy
ship, but like certain things are designed to go in and certain things are not a gun is not.
Yeah. I mean, it's also like flat at the ends. Yeah. And open. It's open hole. Also, the bullet

(59:39):
that comes out of that next. Yeah. It's gonna be gross. Like definitely kills people. Yeah.
So there's probably like brain matter in that gun. Oh, gross. Oh, no. How is it you brought a book
about fucking someone with a gun and I've grossed you out? Because I was thinking about her DNA

(01:00:00):
being all over the gun now and that like the next bullet was going to be covered in her home.
I wasn't thinking about what was already in the gun. Also, he likes to torture people. I don't
know. I don't know. He did shoot people in the head. Okay. Well, you've given me a lot to think
about. Thank you. She needs to go to a doctor basically and get on a round of amoxicillin

(01:00:21):
because just to be sure. And a backup like tetanusia. Tetanusia would be great. Yeah. Absolutely.
Wow. Okay. So what does our little Alan do after she's been fucked by a gun? Well, she is ashamed
over what just happened. But she decides not to tell Daya naturally. Daya can tell some things

(01:00:42):
up though, because she's not an idiot. She decides not to push it and instead they continue focusing
on the investigation into Gigi's murder. Daya has found some info on Ronaldo and it turns out he
was involved in organized crime in the 1940s. They are interrupted by Max, Arch's friend from the bar,
who basically interrogates Adeline, but she doesn't give him any new information and both women insist

(01:01:06):
that they know nothing and were not involved in Arches or his family's death. Here's the
thing that gets me about this storyline. Everyone seems really focused on this random girl that
Arch met and went home with that one time at the bar. I know that he disappeared that night and I

(01:01:29):
know that his family was killed that night. But he's in organized crime. Yeah, I was gonna say like,
shouldn't there be a bunch of others out there? Yeah, she would not even make my list. In my books,
I would think, okay, he went home with some hot girl, fucked her, went home, somebody was tailing
him on the way home and he was targeted. Yeah. Or like, oh, somebody saw him at the bar, followed

(01:01:55):
him to this girl's house and then when he was leaving, kidnapped him. Yeah. Now that's two people
that have come up and asked these two random girls if they had anything to do with this
guy's murder and his family's murder. When like, how do they even know where these girls are? You
met them one time. It's not the same. It's not the same friends. No, the first one was Luke. Oh,

(01:02:18):
yeah, no, I, I mean, those are such generic white boy names that I just painted them as the same
person. Yeah. Immediately. No, it's not the same. Yeah. So weird. Very weird. I mean, they're not
wrong, but like, it is weird. Yeah. Anyway, that's, I would obviously assume that it was a target.
I would never assume that the random hottie from the bar was the girl that somehow got him killed.

(01:02:43):
Anyway, okay, we get another update on the, on the diary. Gigi wrote about her night with John
and Frank. John drank too much and accused her of cheating. And though Gigi denied it, it seemed
that Frank believed John and Frank stormed out. Back to Z and Adeline. Adeline? Adeline? I'm
going to read a quote. Her tantalizing creamy skin is on full display and I get hints of her red cotton

(01:03:08):
panties anytime she bends over. Like when she pulls her covers back and pounds her tiny fists into
the pillows to fluff it up. I get a full view of her ass when she slides her feet out of her slippers
and then bends down to arrange them neatly before her nights stand. My cock hardens her perfectly
round ass overflowing her underwear. Her pussy is on full display, just a thin piece of fabric
separating her from my tongue. I close my eyes and work to regain control. I have to be quiet.

(01:03:33):
She doesn't know I'm hiding in her closet, waiting for her to fall asleep so I can stare at her beauty
in peace. Okay. I mean, dude, you literally have cameras. Why are you in the closet? Why are you in
the closet? What are you in the closet? Why are you in the closet? Also, like that quote that I just

(01:03:55):
read you, it came out of nowhere in my script because I shock value. It came out of nowhere in
the book too. That's like how the chapter opens. Like, okay. Cool. That's what nightmares are made of.
Yeah. Okay. Once she's asleep, Z leaves a red rose on her nightstand and leaves the manner.

(01:04:18):
As he's leaving, he gets a phone call from Jay letting him know that the four senators from the
disgusting sacrifice video are in Seattle. So Z makes a plan to infiltrate the organization.
Z and Adeline text the next day and he comments on how beautiful she is while she's sleeping.
She responds with, you'll look pretty after I stab you. They go back and forth, not necessarily in a

(01:04:41):
banter kind of way. But even though she's saying all the right things, one would say when they're
feeling scared and vulnerable, she isn't following through on any of them. So she isn't actually
calling the cops when she says she's going to call the cops. Z ends it with I'll see you tonight
and she texts back with from outside my house and preferably in a cop's handcuffs. She starts
getting herself off to the texts and he calls her out for it. She lies and says that she isn't.

(01:05:07):
And as I'm reading this now, I'm like, oh yeah, he has cameras. I just thought he knew.
He knows she's lying. She tells him to fuck off. And he says, next time you tell me to fuck off,
your clit is going between my teeth. She knows she shouldn't, but she responds again with fuck off.
Then she chases that text message with two fingers of scotch because of the fear and

(01:05:29):
adrenaline. And she knows exactly what she just did. All right. So I mean, he's not wrong. He's
gonna make her she he picks the right target. I don't know how you can tell from a photo on a
billboard that someone is going to be into the same cakey shit as you, but like good radar.
I have no idea. I have no idea. And it's not like, I mean, again, I don't know what the statistics

(01:05:54):
are of like how many out of a hundred women are into this. Because if it's like 90, then okay,
his odds are pretty fucking good. But if it's like two, I wasn't saying it was 90. I was saying if it
was 90. It's true. But still, it's 98 and you and I are the only two that apparently aren't.

(01:06:15):
Everyone else is fucking guns and it's fine. Yeah, don't talk about it. 98 out of 100. No,
but I'm just saying like it really depends on his odds. I don't know. And also, I don't know if
she was into the gun fucking. It really wasn't clear. Like she was very ashamed, obviously, but
she's still like, but that's the only sexual contact they have. And now she's getting herself off

(01:06:39):
to text message with him and threatening him like, yeah, I don't know. Is he hotter? Is he tall?
I don't know. Didn't hate it. Is she into him or is he tall? Is he a smooth talker or is he tall?
I don't know. Yeah. By the way, you know who boxed that trend? Shaquille O'Neal. I'm sure he's a very
nice guy, but no. And he's very tall. He's really tall. He's really fucking tall. I love that. I

(01:07:07):
love that theory though. And he's just like weirdly obsessed with him. Was Shaquille O'Neal? Yeah,
weird love Shaquille O'Neal we bought. She got Shaquille O'Neal gummies at Christmas and we
were eating to space. What? I have no answers. I don't know why. I absolutely love that.
Yeah, that's really funny. I think I follow him on Instagram or something.

(01:07:28):
He used to post some funny shit. Okay, so she knows exactly what she just did with the fuck off
message. And instead of not sending that message, she chooses to send it and then just get drunk.
Because I can't even imagine the adrenaline rush that comes after sending that message.
Yeah, I think I would just put up a for sale sign and move.

(01:07:51):
He would find me, but like maybe not right away. I don't know.
Um, okay, she just like better takes a man aesthetic because things are about to feel
chompy. Yeah, but some numbing cream on her clay. That would really fuck with him. But again,
he has cameras. See, this is all ruined by the cameras. Because in a world where the cameras

(01:08:12):
don't exist, that would be really funny. She just like put emma cream. Well, she probably didn't put
she didn't put security cameras in her own bathroom.
It's a valid argument. For some limitations to the cameras. You're absolutely right. Unless he
somehow like snuck in and put cameras elsewhere. I mean, he sneaks in all the time and hangs
up in her closet. So I feel like anything is possible. I feel like this might have actually

(01:08:35):
been in the book somewhere, but this book was just so much that I like didn't pick up all of the
information. Anyway, readers, if you decide to read this book, let us know because now we're just
making up our own storylines. Um, that night she wakes up in the middle of the night, tied to her
bed with duct tape across her mouth and a dark figure between her legs. He goes down on her,

(01:08:56):
but refuses to let her come until she acknowledges that she knows what will happen each time she
disobeyed him. Adeline is both happy and absolutely livid. Fascinating. Um, I know this is a long
book and we should not sidebar. No, we can't sidebar. I am not a good sleeper. We've discussed this.
I do not understand how it happens that someone can enter your room, hold your body,

(01:09:22):
tie you up without you waking up. I don't understand. I don't think somebody can enter
my street without me waking up. Like if a car turns onto my street, I know that it happened. I'm up.
There's no way. I wake up to Nash crying before he actually cries. Like I can feel it before it

(01:09:46):
actually happens. Yeah. No way. I don't know if Eli would wake up though. He's, he sleeps nice and
deep. I don't know. I mean, I, I've maybe once had someone like a tiny human in the middle of the
night come into my room and I didn't wake up until they were in my room. But I woke up before they

(01:10:10):
touched me. Like it's fair. I am a terrible sleeper. You know that so bad that I had to do a sleep
study and I actually had the best sleep ever at the sleep study, which never happens because you're
attached to like 40 different wires and they're all over your face and head and hands and whatever.

(01:10:30):
But my typical like cycle of sleep is that I have like a month of really, really
moderate and bad sleep. And then I have one night that just fucking knocks me out. So much so that
like I sleep through my alarm the next morning. Happens. Maybe it's every two months even. The

(01:10:51):
last time it happened, I did wake up to Eli shaking my leg because he was like, what? Like it's 730.
Like both kids are up and eating breakfast. Like where are you? What's going on here? So I guess if
he gets me on that one day, it might work. But I don't, I don't think you could tie me up. Also,
I think I'm a mouth breather when I sleep. The second you put duct tape over my mouth, I'm going to die.

(01:11:14):
I don't see myself surviving that.
Yeah. But it happens more than, more than often than not that people wake up and they're like
strung up and I'm like, unless you knock me on the conscious. Some of the books where that happens,
they're drugs. Yeah. Drugs physically been like concussed, knocking on the conscious. I understand

(01:11:41):
that the idea of I went to sleep peacefully and now I woke up trust to my bed. No. No, absolutely.
Absolutely not. I wake myself up while I'm sleeping. If my right leg touches my left leg,
I wake up. Like there's no way. Okay, I'm with you on that though. She's not happy about it.

(01:12:02):
Would you be happy about it? To wake up being tied up? Yeah. No, but I think the second I got
fucked by a gun, I probably would have bought a plane ticket. Like I would have extracted myself
from the situation a little bit more. Yeah, I agree. Bigger, I would have taken bigger steps
to get out of that. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't have like taunted him by a text message. No. Okay.

(01:12:28):
We got another diary entry. Gigi knows that John has been drinking more frequently,
leading to him yelling at Seraphina and Gigi fears that he might become violent.
She runs off with Ronaldo whenever she can, and she feels guilty that she might not want to save
her marriage anymore, even for her daughter's benefit. Z is in his car thinking about what he
did to online the night before. He doesn't love what he did without consent, but he also believes

(01:12:54):
that she knew what she was doing when she sent him that text. And he viewed it more as a game in
which her texting responses were her way of giving her consent, which is a really interesting way to
look at that when you're the one who did the bad thing. Yeah, this is a dubious consent is not,
I think, the way that we would label this. I agree. It's one thing if you are in a relationship,

(01:13:20):
and this is what you guys do, and you both know that if you're playing that game of texting and
you know, sort of feeding off each other. Consent, full-on consent. Yeah. Yeah, but both of you know
about that. Yeah. This, you are now taking her texts as potential consent, but she didn't,

(01:13:45):
she doesn't see her texts as consent at all, meaning they weren't. No, for consent to be given,
like, there needs to be some conversation. You can't assume implied things. Assuming consent is a
terrible idea. Never do that. Yeah. So he's trying to justify what he did. At least from this we see

(01:14:07):
that he acknowledges that what he did was probably wrong. He very quickly tries to deflect that,
but he does put A and B together. Interesting. Interesting that it's when he ties her up and
not when he fucks her with a gun. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted that scene to end with him at least

(01:14:29):
saying that there was no bullet in the gun. Yes. Like, you were safe the whole time. I love you.
I want to protect you. Yeah. No. I was so scared. So scared for a character that doesn't exist. Okay.
As he's having this conversation with himself, Jay calls and tells him that the four senators
are going to Satan's Affair, which is a Halloween event that Daya and Adolin had been planning to

(01:14:52):
go to together. Z plans to go there to infiltrate the group. And that's when he notices Adolin's
name on the roster of people who have already bought their tickets. So we knew that they were
planning to go. He just found out. Two days later, Z texts Adolin saying he can still taste her.
And instead of playing into his games, she responds asking if he knew about her great-grandmother
being murdered by her stalker. So she has officially convinced herself that Ronaldo is

(01:15:19):
Gigi's murderer. Z had actually already read Gigi's diaries, which is not shocking because he's a
stalker and a weirdo. But he was not convinced that Ronaldo was the murderer, even though Adolin
believes he was. Adolin says she's going to find the proof because all stalkers are crazy murderers.
And instead of texting back, Z decides to call her. In this conversation, they talk about Arch and

(01:15:45):
Adolin. In this conversation, they talk about Arch and Adolin tells him about Max coming to
confront her. Z says he will take care of Max and not to worry about it. Adolin starts to retort
that if she ends up dead, because he has pissed off the wrong people, it will be his fault, and
you know, he cuts her off. And he says, let me stop you there, baby, because you seem to forget

(01:16:07):
that I had a gun in your pussy not too long ago. Did you think teaching you how to act right is
the only lesson I'm teaching with that? She's quiet. If you think low life criminals are scarier
than me, then I haven't been clear enough, have I? Next time you place them above me, I'll be sending
their heads to your doorstep. Okay. So just straight up threats now. Tons of threats. Again, we get

(01:16:30):
that thing of like, he'll take care of Max. Is he just going to kill Max? Like, is that every time
he says I'll take care of it? Does that mean another person's going to die? We don't really know.
If I were Adolin, I would probably stop arguing with him though, because it seems futile. Yeah,
it doesn't seem helpful. Very least. No. Z goes to the club where Daya and Adolin met Arch, Max,

(01:16:52):
and friends, and he makes his way into the VIP room, where he finds Max fucking a waitress on the
couch, while the twins are also engaged in sex acts with two other waitresses. For a book that is
very explicit, there was absolutely no description of what the twins were doing. Not even a hint.
Just sex acts with two other women. It was very, it was very shocking. Z tells the girls to leave

(01:17:17):
and never speak of this again. He then threatens the men and tells them that if they ever approach
Adolin and Daya again, he will kill them and their families, and he lets them live.
Which was shocking. Yeah. From there, Z goes to another nightclub called Pearl. This one is an
illegal underground nightclub where the waitresses all appear to be drugged and are being groped by

(01:17:41):
men, just constantly. He walks up to the table of men playing poker. One of them is Mark Williams,
one of the four senators from the video that he saw, and he asks who's winning, which leads to
some banter that ends up with the men inviting him to play. Little do these men know, Z's father
was a professional poker player and he's been playing since he was a kid. He introduced himself

(01:18:04):
as Zach Fortnight and created a whole online life to back up his new identity in case anyone googles
him. How do we feel about the name Zach Fortnight? Well, I mean, Fortnight is played by 13-year-old
named Zach, so maybe. That works. I don't know. Zach Fortnight. Like, was Fortnight a game when

(01:18:26):
this book was, I feel like it was. Yes, this was 2021. And nobody was like Fortnight? Really? I mean,
the other question is, was this book like proofread or like, did you give this to someone before you
published? Yeah. This book gives a lot of insight into the workings of somebody's mind. Specifically,

(01:18:48):
this author's mind. I don't know why I worded it that way. That was weird. But like, I don't know
if I would, if I wrote a book like this with a scene where somebody gets fucked by the barrel of a gun,
I don't think I would hand it to you. I'd be like, hey, can you proofread this for me? Like,
before I send it off to my editor or my publisher, like, I would save that for Tiger Kings Cross.

(01:19:09):
Yeah. Yeah. And I would be the editor. Yes. Yeah. And then you'd say that thing you said before.
Yep. And then you'd say the thing that you said before, where we listen and we don't judge while
very much judging. Yeah. I know. I have a problem with my face. Me too. Okay, so he is officially

(01:19:35):
Zach Fortnight and Zach Fortnight has a whole online identity in case somebody Googles him.
While he's at the table, one of the men starts to sexually assault a waitress and Z creates a
distraction. He grabs her and leads her out to a waiting vehicle for her to get out of there.
Before she leaves, he asks her for one thing. She thinks he's asking her to never tell anyone

(01:19:56):
who he is or what he looks like. But instead, he says, all I ask is that you do something meaningful
with your life. And off she goes to safety. We get a diary update. See, it's stuff like that.
When he says stuff like that, it's like, there is a side to him that is admirable. Yeah.
But like, what the fuck is with the other side? What I was gonna say, he's like a 20-sided die.

(01:20:19):
One side is admirable. Yes. 19 or not. Yes. Yes. Okay, I was gonna say like, it's not a 50-50
split, but that was a way better analogy. Okay, we get a diary update. Gigi is preparing for a
Fourth of July celebration, but John is drunk and yelling at her and Seraphina. He breaks a glass
on the wall, which is his first sign of aggression. Gigi notes that Frank is coming over to help,

(01:20:43):
and she hopes that Frank will be able to distract John while she entertains their family and guests.
Adeline finally confesses to Diya what had happened between her and Zade, but only
the second hookup, not the gun hookup, while Diya is over at her house. Okay. I agree. I would not
confess that either. If I waited that long, yeah, between the time it happened and the time I decided

(01:21:09):
to confess, I just wouldn't. I mean, he came in, he tied me up. It's the, you get the gist of what's
happening. You don't need to be like, also I kept this big thing from you for a while. Yeah. Yeah.
It's not even like, it's not even that I would be embarrassed that it happened. It's that I'd be,
I know the question is, why did you wait so long to say something? Yeah. And that's an answer I'm

(01:21:30):
just not willing to, I'm not willing to figure out the answer to that question. No, I also think
it attracts way more questions. Because to be like, wait, so you're saying you had an orgasm
while there's a gun inside you. Yes. Whereas like, the rest of it, you're like, okay, I understand.
And not still, let's move on. Yeah. Or like, so he fucked you with a gun. And then there was

(01:21:54):
still a chance for him to sneak into your home and tie you up. Like, no steps were taken between
those two things. Okay. Unless she lied. It was like, I did everything I possibly could. And he
just, he got in anyway. All right. Daya is livid that Z broke in and asks Adalyn if whatever

(01:22:15):
happened was consensual. This part of the book is explicitly written to explain the consensual
non consent aspect of their relationship, in my opinion. Like, I think this was very strategic.
All right, here's the quote. Bitch, what the fuck she shouts, she leans in closer, an unreadable
emotion flaring in her eyes. Was it consensual? And this is where I get tripped up, because it

(01:22:39):
wasn't. But had he kept going, had he stripped his clothes from his body and fucked me, I can't say
with absolute certainty that I would have stopped him. Or that I would have wanted to. Still, I
shake my head no, fury flares in her sage eyes and her lips twist into a snarl. I lean back,
honestly, a little afraid of her. I put my hand on hers, Daya. I, well, it wasn't consensual at first,

(01:23:05):
I say. The last part, a little like a question, embarrassed that I'm even admitting something
like that. She blinks. At first, she echoes, meaning what? He was that good that he changed
her mind? My hands cover my face, but she forces them away, nearly bumping her nose into mine,
as she intently waits for an answer. You have such pretty eyes, I tell her. Okay, so

(01:23:29):
I feel like that whole part was just written to explain the consensual non consent.
Yeah, to give him like a pass so we can continue on.
Yeah. Yeah, like she wasn't going to stop him. She did want it. She just didn't want to admit
that she wanted it. Yeah. Okay. Well, again, like, don't love it. No. After a little more confessing,

(01:23:53):
the two of them get back to investigating Gigi's murder. Daya has found a picture of Ronaldo in
the 1940s. And in the picture, he has a black eye and he's standing with members of an organized,
of an organized crime family. The two of them decide to go out for drinks and they get pretty
fucking wasted. They're both literally crawling through Adeline's front door to keep themselves
firmly planted to the ground as the world spins around them. There was Tequila involved.

(01:24:21):
Adeline gets Daya to the guest bedroom and then makes her way to her bedroom where she
flops onto her bed fully closed with her jeans on and just passes out.
Hours later, she wakes to Z caressing her face. Through Witty banter, she calls him kitty cat
in response to him calling her little mouse. He does not like the nickname and he makes that

(01:24:42):
abundantly clear. She makes comments about about how he must have a tiny dick and he takes this
opportunity to prove her wrong. But since she's drunk, he doesn't want her to throw up on his
dick. So instead, he jacks off with his dick up against her cheek. And now we have our dry read.

(01:25:03):
Okay. It's long. I'm sorry. It's okay. It's good. I uh,
I mean, if she's gonna vomit, whether his dick is in her mouth or near her mouth doesn't feel like
enough of a distinction. I mean, I guess he was like, I don't know if you have a gag reflex. I

(01:25:24):
don't want to find out right now. Yeah, I don't know. Okay.
What's my name? He growls. He briefly let go of his dick to deliver a sharp slap to my cheek.
Stings. But it wasn't enough to actually hurt me. I snarl. Zade. He sucks in a sharp breath.

(01:25:46):
Open your mouth, little mouse. Now, when I refuse, he slaps his dick across my face again,
this time harder. I'm getting tired of him slapping me. Rage burns hotter and I'm tempted to
reach over and bite the tip of his dick until it's severed completely. You really want to test
me now, he challenges cocking that damn brow, breathing heavily, desire shines in his yin yang

(01:26:07):
pools. Although he's punishing me, he's staring down at me like I'm a priceless jewel. With
reluctance, I open my mouth, hatred spewing from my eyes. He flashes a sinister smile before he says,
now thank me. I go rigid, fury spiking hot. He wants me to do what? Fucking thank me for letting
you swallow all my calm Adolin. A dark edge creeps into his tone. And I can't let go of the fear,

(01:26:32):
even as I work up the nerve to deny him. Images of him holding a gun to my face and
painting my tied up body to the bed as he took what he wanted flashed through my mind,
fortifying the terror in my bones. Thank you, I choke up angrily. As soon as I say the word,
ropes have come or spurting from his dick and right into my mouth. A deep rumbling growl releases
from his throat, traveling straight to my core. I clench my thighs as my taste buds are invaded

(01:26:57):
with the flavor of his saltiness. Desperately, I want to spit it outright in his face. Fuck,
that's a good girl, he breathes. In response, a tear slips from my eye. I shiver from the words,
just as my hatred for him burns brighter. When the last bit of calm drops from his tip and onto my
lips, he grabs my face again, pinching my cheeks together and preventing me from spitting it all

(01:27:18):
back on him like I planned to. Swallow, he demands, his voice dark and full of warning.
My first question, logistically, first he slapped her with his hand, then he slapped her with his
dick. Is that... Yeah, yeah. What's weird to me is like, I understand, I like a good enemies to

(01:27:44):
lovers, I am down for a hate fuck. This doesn't feel like that either. No, it doesn't. It's all
about dominance, it's all about control. So it feels like she's not having a good time, like
there's a throw in of one mention of the growl, you know, goes right to her core, but she's not hot,

(01:28:06):
like this isn't making her hot. And that's the whole point, isn't it? Like if you're having this
kind of hate fuck, like everyone is supposed to be enjoying the moment. I don't think that's his point.
When all of a sudden, he turns to Adlyn and says, you want to know the best part, I was going to
tuck you into bed and leave you alone tonight, but you seem to forget that just because I'm

(01:28:27):
holy yours little mouse, I am not a nice man. Cool. Great. With that, we enter our hot plot spot.
This is the hot plot spot. If you want to read this book with no spoilers, now is your chance to leave.
Oh, you're sticking around. Do you remember your safe word? Good girl. It's a new day and Zade goes

(01:28:54):
to spy on Adlyn who's out for lunch at a restaurant. While there, he runs into Mark Williams and Zade
tries to leave Mark away from the restaurant, but Mark insists that they sit down and eat there.
As they're sitting at their table, Zade pretends to be interested in a child that walks by in an
attempt to get Mark to trust him, which absolutely disgusts him and me and all normal people.

(01:29:18):
Mark notices Adlyn at a table nearby and takes a picture of her
on his cell phone. Zade knows this is a bad, bad, real, bad situation and has to stop this before
it starts. So he tells Mark that Adlyn is his girlfriend and that he avoided introducing him
to her because she's working and didn't want to interrupt. Mark completely disregards what Zade said

(01:29:40):
and walks over to Adlyn and introduces himself anyway. Adlyn shocked to see Zade in the daytime
and even more shocked when Mark mentions that he's a friend of Zax and motions to Zade.
Adlyn senses something's up but decides to go along with whatever Mark and Zade are saying.
Just then, Mark gets a call so he steps away and Zade explains that he needs Adlyn to go

(01:30:02):
along with it for her own safety. When Mark comes back, the three of them are chatting and it's
revealed that Mark's father is Frank, as in Gigi's husband, John's friend, Frank. And he tells Adlyn
that Frank believed that John had killed Gigi, not Ronaldo. Okay. But the note, the diary said,

(01:30:26):
John, if I'm dead, so like I was killed by and then it went blank, right? Mm-hmm. Okay. Mark invites
Zade and Adlyn to a party and lures Adlyn with the offer of telling her more about her father,
sorry about his father and his friendship with Seraphina, Adlyn's grandmother,
when they were children. Mark leaves and Zade walks Adlyn back to her car. At the car, Zade tells Adlyn

(01:30:50):
he doesn't want her going to that party but she insists on going and he agrees to go with her.
It becomes clear that Adlyn wants Ronaldo to be the murderer. I mean, it was already kind of clear.
But the point she makes is that she's trying to convince herself that Ronaldo killed her great
grandmother so that she can put Ronaldo and Zade in the same box and then distance herself from him.

(01:31:10):
Okay. Adlyn makes us not comment about how, um, then they can have like a fake breakup and Zade
can go back, sorry, and Zade can go to prison for all that he has done and hopefully get the death
penalty. Zade asks if Adlyn would be his last meal and before she can respond, Zade pushes her up
against the car and they start making out and it is hot and heavy. And I have a quote. I lean in

(01:31:34):
close, my mouth hovering a mere inch from hers. You taste like heaven. I could feast on that sweet
little pussy for hours and still die a starving man. It'll be the closest I will ever get to God
before they inject me with that needle, don't you agree? She's speechless so I take advantage and
capture those sweet lips with my own. She tenses beneath my hold but doesn't pull away. The taste
of fruit from her margarita blooms on my tongue and I can't help but groan. You taste like fucking

(01:31:58):
nirvana, I rasp, but before sucking her bottom lip into my mouth. The faintest little bone slips
free and it's enough to drive me wild with hunger. I'm ravenous and only the depths of her body
will feed the monster. Addy's hands clench the front of my hoodie as I devour her. The hand
cupping her plump ass slides lower until my fingers are brushing across her gene-clad pussy.

(01:32:18):
Coughing her from behind, I lift her higher, grinding my rock hard cock into her. The next
bone is free of restraint, ringing loud and clear as it vibrates across my tongue. Mommy, are they
having sex? All of this was happening in public, in the daytime, right next to her parked car.
All right. Later Adalyn explains what happened at lunch between herself, Zade, and Marc to Daya,

(01:32:41):
and Daya finally puts everything together and figures out that Zade is Z, the head of the
organization that Daya works for. Adalyn gets dressed in the dressed Zade center and he comes
to pick her up for the party. Before getting into the car, Zade tells Adalyn to remove his belt and
she does. He then wraps it around her neck, pulling it tight enough that she can breathe but not well,

(01:33:02):
and he instructs her to get on her knees between his legs. She understands the assignment and starts
sucking his dick with the belt around her neck. He takes over and starts fucking her mouth and
forcing her to swallow his gum. In the car, he finally tells Adalyn what he does and confirms
that he does know Daya and he knows that she's one of his employees. The conversation is extremely

(01:33:23):
possessive and he insists that he will protect her from Marc and she responds with, I believe
you will protect me from Marc but who's going to protect me from you? To which he replies,
whoever tries is going to end up dead. When they get to the party, Zade reminds Adalyn that he is
Zach Fortnite and they both live together happily at Parsons Manor. They go in and Adalyn is socializing
very naturally which impresses Zade who is charming as ever and seems to have a natural way of pulling

(01:33:47):
people into him. They say hello to Marc and Marc introduces them to his wife Claire who is clearly
an abused woman. Zade calls Jay and has him dismantle the security cameras in Marc's house
and Zade and Adalyn go wandering through the house until they end up in the home theater.
He picks a horror movie for them to watch, instructs Adalyn to sit on his lap. As the

(01:34:08):
movie starts, Zade hikes up her dress, surprised by the fact that she's not wearing any underwear,
and forcefully spreads her legs. He starts playing with her pussy and instructs her not
to take her eyes off the screen. When she does, he stops what he's doing and threatens to stop
entirely. She finally listens and uses all of her strength to keep her eyes on the screen
as he takes his time slowly bringing her to another insane orgasm.

(01:34:30):
After they return to the ballroom, Marc's butler tells them that Marc would like to see them in
his private room. Adalyn asks Marc about Gigi and Marc explains that his father Frank always
suspected John of killing Gigi. John had progressively developed a gambling and alcohol addiction
which led to his involvement with a man named Angelo Salvatore who happened to be Ronaldo's

(01:34:51):
boss. At some point, Angelo tried to kill John over his debts, but Ronaldo was the one that
saved him and managed to get him a job working as an accountant for Angelo. Marc explains that he
was friends with Seraphina until a little bit before Gigi's death. At that point, Frank suspects
that John was getting violent, which is why he thought John was likely the murderer.

(01:35:13):
Marc's phone rings and he explains to Zade and Adalyn that some of his colleagues are freaking
out over some leaked video, but Marc insists that the society that he works for will protect him.
Before we go any further, I didn't say it earlier because we were a pre-hot plot spot,
but I have a guess and I've had it since Frank got really mad that John thought she was cheating.

(01:35:37):
So I'm pretty sure Frank is the murderer of Gigi. I'm just putting it out there. It was my first
thought when I was like, why are you so pissed that she's maybe cheating on your friend? Like, I
don't know why you're so angry. Okay, but I clocked the same thing when I read it the first time.
Okay. Yeah, it's not as thinly veiled as I think she wanted it to be.

(01:35:58):
Gotcha. Excellent. Okay. Marc ends her conversation, but invites Adalyn to another party. If she
wants to discuss this further, Zade now knows that Marc is doing this, like to get her closer to him.
He's not doing this to be kind. A week later, Zade is teaching Adalyn self-defense to protect
herself from possible attackers. Adalyn struggles with the moves and blames Zade for putting her

(01:36:21):
in the situation that she's in. Zade insists that Marc was already interested in her before
the incident at the restaurant, as Marc was intent on going to that specific restaurant and seated
himself with a direct view of Adalyn. So Adalyn was already a Marc for them. It had nothing to do
with Zade and it wasn't just a coincidence. Adalyn does accept this and she finally manages
to get herself out of a chokehold, which was very exciting for her. We have another diary update in

(01:36:47):
which Gigi recounts how two armed men broke into her home and held her and Seraphina at gunpoint,
demanding money that John lost while gambling. Though John and Frank arrived in time to chase
away the intruders, John does not apologize for his actions and Gigi says that she wants to kill him.
Adalyn and Daya head out to Satan's Affair. First thing they do when they get there

(01:37:10):
is they get food, which I thought was hilarious and very on brand. Next they're going to check out
the haunted houses. So while they're eating they spot a bunch of employees in their costumes,
including a girl that's dressed as this super creepy broken doll. They then get in line for
the haunted house and while they're there they run into Marc, who's there with three other men,

(01:37:32):
as well as his wife Claire. Marc asks where Zade is and for some reason Adalyn lies and says that
he went to the bathroom. They make small talk and finally Daya and Adalyn are led into the haunted
house. We get another diary update. Gigi says that Frank confronted her about her affair. Frank
told her to end the affair with Ronaldo to preserve her marriage to John, but Gigi notes that neither

(01:37:53):
she nor Frank likes what John has become. Unbeknownst to anyone, Zade is actually at Satan's Affair
and he's keeping close tabs on Marc. When he sees Daya and Adalyn go inside the haunted house,
he goes over to say hi to Marc and his associates. Zade goes in looking for Daya and Adalyn and as
he's walking through the girl dressed in the creepy doll costume tries to attack him thinking

(01:38:15):
that he is preying on Daya and Adalyn and he fights her off. As he continues through he can hear
Marc and his group nearby and they're talking about how they're going to kidnap Adalyn and Daya
and he hears Marc say that Zach, aka Zade, isn't a threat to them. As Zade goes to confront the
group he is once again intercepted by the creepy doll. While all of this is going on, Adalyn and

(01:38:41):
Daya finish the haunted house without incident and decide to take a break before heading home.
Adalyn tells Daya to stay there while she goes into the house of mirrors and while she's in there
she very quickly gets lost. She's trying to find her way out. Zade begins to taunt her. He plays a
game of cat and mouse, tells her to run but if he catches her he's going to fuck her. So obviously

(01:39:02):
he catches her pretty quickly but she immediately tells him that he isn't going to fuck her and
he starts to explain like what she means to him and it's here that um he says that he loves her.
Like he explains that this is not just an infatuation that he is in love with her.
I don't know how you get there. I hear you. I also, yeah I also PSA. Just because he says he loves you

(01:39:33):
doesn't make the fucked up things he's doing okay. I agree. Anybody who needs to hear that.
Obviously. Obviously. But the thing that gets me is that he's not love bombing her. He genuinely
loves her but he also doesn't know her. Yeah. And this is not my first stalker.

(01:39:55):
This is not my first stalker romance. This one just doesn't make any sense.
Yeah no I was gonna say I've read other stalker romances. They stalk her and learn about her
and realize that they're compatible and they are in love. Not saying it's better but at least it
makes sense. You know what? It is better. It is better. I'm gonna call spade a spade.

(01:40:18):
At least in that one they get to know each other. How it happens? Not okay but that it happens?
Okay good. Like it should happen before you say I love you. You guys don't fucking know each other.
Yeah. You don't fucking know each other. You don't know any. I mean he knows a lot about her but she
doesn't know anything about you. Yeah. Anyway that scene pissed me off. It was a very good

(01:40:40):
smutty scene but like really pissed me off. That's all it took to break her. They did fuck.
There's a lot of talk of voyeurism or like getting caught in public in this book
and this is one of those parts. Adolin's nervous that somebody could come in at any time and they
place it up by talking her through like what might happen if someone comes in. So he says things like

(01:41:03):
you want to know what I would do. I would let them watch. I'd let them watch me claim you and
make sure they know your mind and blah blah blah blah and then I would kill them because nobody gets
to see you like this but me. Alright. So it always has to end with him just going back to that.
Guys maybe he just like killing people. He does. He says at the beginning that he likes

(01:41:25):
torturing people. Okay so they finally fuck like I said. It is rough and animalistic and dominant
and it takes place in a house of mirrors so you get a good description of all the views from all
the angles. It's actually written pretty well. By the time they're done it's been two hours apparently
since she entered the house of mirrors and she completely forgot about Daya. What? Yeah you know.

(01:41:47):
Again like terrible friend. Zade tells her to go find Daya because he has a date with a psycho doll
anyway. Adolin doesn't seem to be all that concerned about whatever that means. She finally finds Daya
in her car. Daya is obviously pissed but the first thing out of her mouth is why the fuck do you
look and smell like you just got fucked? I'm gonna go ahead and say you probably didn't get a chance

(01:42:11):
to smell her yet but fine. We get a diary update. Gigi recounts telling Ronaldo that she wants to
divorce John. She insists that Ronaldo needs to quit his job to provide a safe life for her in
Seraphina and Ronaldo says that he can't just leave his boss. He also implies that John has also
tied to Ronaldo's boss which confuses Gigi. Gigi says that she's fine and she will be a single mother

(01:42:35):
if she needs to which for the time says very progressive. Zade revisits the girl in the
broken doll costume and the two form a temporary alliance. When she and Zade run into Mark and
his associates in the haunted house they knocked out the four men and she stored them in another
building at the fair. Now that the fair is closed Zade and the girl return to the building to

(01:42:56):
torture and kill them. The girl's name is Sibbi and she implies that there are other people in
the house with her that will protect her if they need to. Zade has no clue what that means and since
it is clear that the house is in fact empty except for them and the four men he comes to realize that
she is suffering from mental health issues. Zade gives her the all clear to start killing them and

(01:43:20):
she immediately and violently kills Robert one of Mark's associates stabbing him until there's almost
no human form left. Torturing Mark Zade gets a confession regarding the ritual that the cult
performs. The cult is called the society and it seems that his society runs the government from
the shadows so this is where we get a lot of that QAnon stuff. Using the blood ritual to gain power

(01:43:44):
from cosmic deities called the eternal rebirth that's the blood libel stuff. Mark confesses that
the society had already targeted Adalyn before he met her and Zade is furious and worried that
Adalyn might still be kidnapped. Mark tells Zade the names or the code names of the people in the
society that he knows and he also reveals the location of their current base of operations

(01:44:06):
which is in a place called Saviors Club. However Mark tells Zade that killing members of the
society will force them to relocate but Mark also wouldn't know where they're going to relocate to.
Though Mark tries to negotiate for his life Zade obviously kills him. Zade is able to escape
before the police show up but Siby refused to run because she didn't want to leave her henchmen

(01:44:30):
behind. Turns out she was born into a cult that her father led and she was wanted for his murder.
Her mother had died by suicide and Siby snapped and stabbed her father 150 times before going on
the run. She was the perfect scapegoat for these these murders unintentionally. They're very convincing
person because he convinced her that he was good and a good stalker and that these four dudes were

(01:44:56):
actually nefarious and she was just like got it on it let me help you. Yeah again he's six foot six.
I mean he's tall and good looking. Maybe. Zade shifts his focus to infiltrating Saviors. He goes
to Saviors and it's clear to him that the women working at the club are clearly abused. He meets

(01:45:18):
with a man named Daniel who is a lawyer for the president of the United States and Dan implies
that Zade is not yet a member of the club explaining that Zade will have to take part in a blood
ritual but he does not provide details. Zade shows Dan a picture of the girl he saved from
trafficking years ago claiming to Dan that Zade kidnapped her trying to imply that Zade was already

(01:45:40):
involved in child trafficking. Dan is amused. He tells Zade that the next initiation ritual isn't
weak. Zade asks if the ritual is safe and Dan claims that though a video of the ritual was leaked
they have since caught and removed the spy. Adalyn sees the report of the news about the
senator's murders and she knows that Zade was involved. Zade shows up at her house and they

(01:46:03):
start fighting again and Zade chases her through the woods where they fuck up against a tree.
This is where Zade explains to Adalyn that while he knows that what he does goes against
society's moral codes sometimes those rules are wrong and he does what he knows is for the greater
good which is all well and good except for the part where he just murders random people for no real

(01:46:25):
reason. Yeah. Yeah. He takes Adalyn to his car. They fucking his car. He does this weird thing where
she's like they're in the backseat and she's bent over the front center console and then he like wraps
like the seatbelts from the front two seats in a weird way that like holds her in place.

(01:46:47):
This would have been a great time to have a diagram. Diagram? Yeah. I did not understand what was
going on. Adalyn starts to realize that she's already in love with him. I mean that's against me.
Time me up with seatbelts baby. Nothing sexier than seatbelt burn.
Although guys, I mean a car is already a very small space. How much more confined do you need to be?

(01:47:12):
Go back to the mansion. There's no reason to be fucking in a car. No. Diary update. Gigi says
that he has lost his mind but she doesn't say whether she's referring to Ronaldo or John. She just
says he. One of them. Yeah. One. Another ritual video is leaked and that pisses Zade off.

(01:47:34):
It means that he was unable to save someone. In an attempt to calm him down Adalyn and Zade begin
to talk more about their upbringing which is nice. We get a little bit of a backstory on Zade. His
parents died when he was 17 but otherwise he seemed out of pretty normal upbringing. His scars are
from the first trafficking ring that he infiltrated. He's proud of them because he succeeded in saving

(01:47:56):
the children on that occasion. They start to kiss and they're interrupted by Diah. Diah tries to punch
Zade but he dodges her and tells her that she probably shouldn't hit her employer. It's a cute
little scene. Do we ever get like an origin story? Like what causes him to start trying to break up
the trafficking rings? I'm not saying that's not like a good thing to do but it's not like if you

(01:48:17):
just start doing it. Like there has to be some impetus, right? I have to look up. Look it up again.
I know there's an answer to that. I just can't remember if it's just that he was hacking stuff
and found something that just made him really upset and just started doing it. I don't remember
if there was like a personal story involved with it honestly. I don't think there was. Diah and Adolin

(01:48:38):
go back to investigating Gigi's murder. They find an envelope that Adolin had found on her
counter. It just showed up on her counter and it contains photos from the 1940s of Gigi and a man
neither Adolin nor Diah recognized. The man is Frank Marx, father. In the photos Frank is close to
Gigi but she looks uncomfortable and there's a letter in the envelope from Frank to Gigi in

(01:49:00):
which he confesses his love for her and his feelings of betrayal that she's having an affair with
another man which you caught very early on. Adolin and Diah think this may point to Frank as Gigi's
killer but they head to the attic to investigate further. In the attic Adolin knocks at the walls
to find another hidden compartment like the one she found like the missing diary's in.

(01:49:24):
Inside she finds a plastic bag with blood, a watch, and a note inside. The note has instructions
to hide the watch and Adolin recognizes the watch as the same one that Frank was wearing
in the photos that she just found. We got another diary update. Gigi writes that she expects that
she'll die soon. She is scared and sad that she will be abandoning Seraphina who is just 16 but

(01:49:46):
she doesn't know how to handle the man that she expects will kill her. The entry ends with Gigi
deciding to take a nap which is exactly how I would handle that situation. Of this entire book
that line was what really got me. I didn't love this book but I did love that line.

(01:50:10):
That was very much like a yeah I think that's exactly what I would do. I might die,
might leave my tiny daughter motherless, someone's trying to kill me but fuck I need to take a nap.
It's just like an overwhelming feeling and just being like I will deal with this after I take
a nap. 100% I would do that. Okay, Dan calls Zade and tells him that the society wants to have an

(01:50:34):
appetizer before their main meal meaning that they want to bring a child into abuse before the blood
ritual to ensure that Zade's loyal. Zade agrees and Dan plans for the initial meeting. Two days later
Zade prepares to meet Dan. He has Jay promised to watch Adlin but Zade is still worried that she'll
somehow get kidnapped. Zade arrives at Dan's home and is greeted and ushered into the main room.

(01:50:56):
The guests all gather in the dining room and Zade has a hard time pretending to be as relaxed as
the rest of the crowd. An old man enters the room with a six-year-old girl and announces that dinner
is served. Yeah, fucking kill me. Yeah, in the meantime Dya and Adeline get the results
on the blood from the watch, the serial number from the watch, and the handwriting samples. The

(01:51:19):
blood matches Gigi. The watch belonged to Frank and the handwriting matches Frank as well leading
Dya and Adeline to believe that Frank killed Gigi out of jealousy. Dya also reveals that she had the
note that had the confession on it to covering up the murder from the beginning. She had that
tested against John and Sarah's handwriting and it seems that it was Sarah's handwriting. So Adeline's

(01:51:42):
grandmother covered up her own mother's murder. Okay. This puts Adeline in a bit of a tailspin.
Yeah. Back at Dan's house, Zade takes control of the situation by demanding to get the young girl
first. He puts her on his lap and whispers in her ear that she'll be safe. When Dan tries to touch her,
Zade grabs his hand and acts like he's just like a really possessive, disgusting person. Pressing

(01:52:06):
an alarm on his watch, Zade triggers a fake FBI raid on Dan's house causing the guests to all
flee. Zade takes the girl whose name is Sarah out of the out through the kitchen and into the backyard
where he hands her off to his team. Sarah asks Zade if he will adopt her and Zade considers it
saying that he'll need to ask Adeline first. Of course. I know they can't see you. You have to

(01:52:30):
explain what you're doing. I can't. I there is no six year old in the fucking world who's like,
hey dude who pretended to be creepy but got me out. Like I understand. Be thankful to him.
Will you be my daddy now? Now that you've pretended to be my like gross sexual daddy,

(01:52:52):
now will you be my actual daddy? What the? He actually says to her like, wear your parents
and she's like, I don't know. Like they could be alive. Like it's such a weird,
it's such a weird moment. Yeah. Honestly, the only thing about that that was even normal
was him saying, I have to ask Adeline because at least he's like treats her as an equal in

(01:53:12):
their relationship in his mind. But that's not normal. I know. In a relationship. I understand.
It's so weird. It's so weird. Once Sarah is safe, a fake FBI agent arrests Zade, pulling him past Dan.
Dan is relieved to see that Zade is also being arrested and he even attempts to defend Zade by
saying that he's Zade's not involved in Dan's operations. Zade had obviously set this whole

(01:53:35):
thing up to go as follows. The fake FBI agents would bring Dan to the station on suspicion
of smuggling drugs and they would let him go tomorrow morning after not having found anything.
Dan will then insist that the agents be fired and since they weren't real agents anyway,
that will be no biggie. Now Dan trusts Zade. Zade goes back to Parsons' manor, gets into

(01:53:55):
bed next Adeline as she sleeps. He wakes her up by pressing up against her and they have sex.
The next day, Zade tells Adeline that he is going to finally end the ritual that night.
Saving the children from the society. He's very excited. He tells Adeline about Sarah,
the girl he saved from Dan's house, any comments that she asked Zade to adopt her.

(01:54:18):
Adeline is worried but Zade tells her that he would never adopt a child without Adeline's
agreement as that would make them both parents. So insane. Zade goes back to Saviors to meet
with Dan who apologizes for the raid on his house. Zade asks what happened to the girl.
Dan suspects that it was one of the guests that just like took her with him when he left.

(01:54:40):
Zade pretends to be upset and he asks Dan who it might have been. Dan says he doesn't know but
if he finds out he'll tell him. After some drinks, Dan leaves Zade to the ritual cave
and Zade puts on a long robe and a necklace just like all the other participants. Zade and three
other new recruits walk up to an altar where there's a little girl strapped to a stone slab.

(01:55:00):
A man in a black robe comes up to the altar and gives Zade a large knife before walking away.
As Zade prepares to quote stab the girl, he gives a signal to a security guard that actually works
for him not Dan. Then he stabs the initiate next to him like one of the new guys that was
going to be joining. Chaos ensues and one of Zade's men comes to take the girl while another of Zade's

(01:55:24):
men lets in a team of his people. Before Zade can pursue the mysterious figure, an explosion knocks
him back against the altar. Jay rushes to Zade and Zade is confused. Why is Jay there at all?
Jay says he figured out that the last video was intentionally leaked to draw them in,
claiming that this ritual initiation was a setup to draw Zade out. Someone behind Jay tells Jay

(01:55:48):
and Zade to put their hands up, but it's not revealed who that person is. Meanwhile, Adalyn tells
her mother about Gigi's murder and that Sarah covered up the murder. Adalyn's mother does not
seem surprised at all, and only comments that Sarah Fina must have had a hard time concealing that
secret. Adalyn finally works up the courage to ask her if she was the one that sent the photos of
Gigi and Frank and her mother implies that she did send them, meaning that her mother had known all

(01:56:11):
along about the murder, about Sarah Fina covering it up, and she was also complicit in covering it
up after the fact. Adalyn worries about Zade and she feels conflicted that she cares about Zade now,
but doesn't even know where he is. That night, Adalyn wakes up to multiple text messages from
Daya, saying that she's really upset and she could really use a friend. She tells, she tries to call
Daya, but it sends straight to voicemail. Getting in her car to drive to Daya's house, Adalyn

(01:56:35):
notices that another car is driving close behind her. The car behind her rams into her, knocking
her phone from her hand and flipping her car upside down. Two men come to the door and drag her
from her vehicle, noting that Adalyn is worth a lot of money. One of the men mentions Max,
and one of them says goodnight princess, and then knocks her out. And that is how the book ends.

(01:56:56):
Okay, I have been talking for six years. This book was a lot. I don't understand the mentality
of any person. It does not matter how much I like or did not like the book. I need to understand
what happens next. I have a fucked up completionist thing. I understand that I am the abnormal person,

(01:57:17):
but like, I might have to start reading the second book tonight.
If you do, can you just tell me who the guy was that told them to put their hands up?
Yeah, I also...
That's all I want to know. I just haven't googled it yet.
I want to know why they were trying like targeting Adalyn because obviously like their
main targets were like under 10, and she's an adult woman. So there's got to be some connection. I mean,

(01:57:41):
maybe Frank's actually her daddy, like her granddaddy. I don't know.
I do not like the way you said that.
That's because you like daddy.
You couldn't just say dad?
You couldn't just say dad? That was gross.
Are you trying to hurt me? I don't understand.
So gross.
Yeah, I mean, listen, I didn't love this book. I'm going to be really honest.

(01:58:06):
I'm going to be very clear when I say that the people who love this book fucking loved it,
and the ones that disliked this book fucking hated it.
I might be one of the few people was just that was just like kind of in the middle.
I do like a dark romance novel. I like dark themes. This one straight off the deep end

(01:58:26):
for a few of the scenes here. I just didn't. I like when it's dark, but with a purpose.
Yeah.
And I didn't feel that there was a purpose to a lot of what was happening in this one.
No. I mean, again, I were, you know, coming back to things I've already said, but like,
I'm good with morally gray, but I do have a line and I need them to fall on a certain side of that
line. Well, also, like, morals are actually important when it comes to morally gray.

(01:58:52):
Yeah, you can't just be like terrible, but you do one nice thing.
Yeah, there has to be reasoning behind a lot of the actions that are taken. And that reasoning is,
it needs to be really well written and thought out. And I don't think, like he said that he said
the very generic thing that most people say, which is like, killing a bad person isn't a bad thing.
It's for the greater good. Like I get what he's saying, but there's more to it than that. And

(01:59:15):
there has to be more of a description there. Yeah, I, this was the first dark romance that was ever
kind of like given to me in a, as far as a recommendation or in an algorithm. I'm really
glad it wasn't the first dark romance I read, because I don't think I would have read another one.
Like now that I understand the nuance of like what I do and don't like in dark romance, it's

(01:59:37):
still not like, I'm gonna say my go-to genre, but I don't think I have a go-to genre. I am a like
full on mood reader. There are days where I was like, give me all the like dark, angsty mystery
suspense. And then other days I'm like, I was like a golden retriever playing hockey and eating
cinnamon rolls, please. Like just all the time. Yeah. But yeah, I will, I will be reading the,

(02:00:02):
I will probably go back and read the first just so I like have the full scope of everything as I
go into it. Because I'm gonna need to know what happens. I do not like a- Here's the thing too.
I just, I just want to interrupt one thing. It's probably better when you read it. This is one
of the books that's really hard to explain in the way we're doing this podcast. There's so much to

(02:00:27):
it. It is such a big book and it's from so many different perspectives with so many storylines
converging all at once. But writing it out this way doesn't do it justice. And that's coming from
somebody that didn't necessarily love the book. I still don't think reading it this way did it
justice to even how I felt about it. So I think you're gonna read it and you're gonna come to me

(02:00:49):
and say, okay, reading it was definitely better than hearing me tell it. I don't know if you're
gonna love it. I don't, you know, I don't think so, but you might. But I do think you're gonna say,
okay, yes, the story made way more sense and was way more enjoyable in the fashion that it was
actually written. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not opposed to the story. I think, I think it's an interesting,
you know, tale. I think why he's, you know, why he's doing his vigilante hacking thing is

(02:01:15):
interesting. I think building that world, that's all really interesting. I think how it converges
and the characters being connected, I think is really great. Like, all of it is the only thing
I don't like so far is just, you know, the less morally more gray aspect of our of our MMC. And
maybe, maybe this will be redeemed if I read it. But like, right now, I don't love Adeline. Like,

(02:01:40):
because like, she feels a little complacent and like, I don't know. Yes, there's something there
that's not you're not the only one. Okay. So, so the book got 3.96 stars out of five, which I was
a little shocked by almost 700,000 ratings. So many of the one star reviews were super patronizing

(02:02:02):
towards the readers who did like the book, or at least these types of books. And we're so judgmental
about it. Oh, I hate that. Yeah. So I didn't love that. If you don't like the book, don't like the
book. But don't don't make comments about like, how could anybody like this? Or like, yeah, if you're
into this, you need you need mental help. Like, that's not, that's not cool. Certainly not in this

(02:02:22):
community. And that really confused me. Surely you would know just by reading the synopsis of this
book. If it's something that might intrigue you. Yeah. And if this isn't what you're into, that's
fine. Then just don't read it. It's really quite simple. Yeah, I do think there are people who go
in, look at the content warnings, know they're going to hate it, but then want to read it so they

(02:02:44):
can like stand on their moral high horse and hate it publicly. And that doesn't make any sense.
Especially with that content warning that I just read at the beginning, because she really does
go into detail about every single thing that happens in this book. Someone explained in their
review that they are a sexual assault survivor. And therefore this book was triggering and offensive
and disgusting to them. I completely understand where you're coming from. That makes perfect

(02:03:08):
sense to me. Why'd you read the book? Yeah. Like, that was a bad choice. There was a content warning.
So there was a huge content warning, huge. And this book is, it's all over the internet. You can
do a quick Google search on this book, and it'll tell you everything you need to know.
I don't think writing a review after like your personal situation and how it connects to this

(02:03:32):
book is fair. Yeah. But I also, yeah, I mean, I didn't love the book either. So I do have some
ratings. Okay. We got a five star from Lena that says, I think I need to go to church.
We got a five star from Ikram that says, not gonna lie, I forgot what feminism was for a second
there. Also that cliffhanger, I need three to 10 business days to mentally prepare myself for the

(02:03:55):
second book. Then we have Ayushi, who says, he is a public toilet at a Metallica concert, and she
is certified ninkam poop. And Caitlin says, I wouldn't even turn this book into toilet paper.
So there you have it. I either love it or hate it, or are just completely shocked by it. Yeah.

(02:04:18):
Yeah. I mean, it's the one place where I wish the internet hadn't spoiled me because I knew I was
prepared for the gun scene. I knew that was coming. Yeah, you have to. You have to have a
spoiler about that. I still have a lot of questions. But that's okay. What? No, no, it's purely like
physics and logistics, like just, oh, yeah, fine. I don't have those answers, I promise. No, I mean,

(02:04:43):
you did a really good job. It's a big book and it's like complicated. So I'm exhausted. That was,
that was like exercise. Truly. And I feel bad there was like no banter there because I had to get
through it. I had to, it was just so much information. So I think my next one will be a little bit
lighter. All right. It's nice. You got to take a break. All right. If you're still with us, what?

(02:05:07):
Dude, what? I have a trailer. Do you have a trailer? I'm so sorry. That was totally my fault. I'm
sorry. Okay, ready? Ricky, picture it. You arrive at your new job, physical therapist for an NHL team,
only to find the hot guy you had a magical one night stand with two months ago,

(02:05:27):
who's determined to win you over. Oh, and then there's his best friend, the grumpy equipment
manager, and the giant superstitious Viking goalie who has decided you're his good luck charm.
You're not going to risk your job. So you definitely can't fall for one of them or all of them.
I love that. I'm so excited. Yeah, we went back to Ricky's roots with some dark romance today. So

(02:05:53):
guys, we're all in. There's hockey. There's white shoes. Like it's happening. I'm really excited.
I'm so excited. Thank God we need something a little lighter next week. I'm going to assume
that nobody fucks anyone else with a gun. Maybe the only thing they don't fuck each other with. Okay,

(02:06:15):
well, I'll try that again. If you're still with us, tune in next week as we dive deeper into our
TBR list. From morally gray MMCs to dildo made out of a gun, it'll always be served.
In today's episode, I reviewed the self published haunting Adeline by H.D. Carlton

(02:06:38):
copyright 2021 H.D. Carlton. The audio book was narrated by Teddy Hamilton and Michelle Sparks
and was published by H.D. Carlton. And once again, huge shout out to Wayne Davis for our hot plot spot.