August 1, 2025 • 56 mins
A big thank you to everyone who submitted their confessions! I appreciate you all sending in stories and confessions and being very open! I'm glad the channel can be a place for you to vent some things that you might need to get off your chest!Let me know what you thought about this video down below! If you enjoyed please like and subscribe, thank you. And also let me know if you would like to see more videos like this in the future. I try to include every confession, but I get a lot of emails, so I'm sorry I can't include them all!If you would like to submit a confession, please send to this email... officialsnook23@gmail.comYes... my voice is human.Subscribe and like for more, thank you for watching, and stay safe...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey, what's up guys? And welcome back to another
anonymous confessions video. And today we're getting into
some crazy anonymous confessions.
And all of these confessions aresent in by you guys and.
It's been a while since I've, you know, released a video like
this, so I've got a lot of emails to go through, so this
video will be longer than most confessions videos.
(00:20):
You guys have a lot to confess and I'll keep making these
videos as long as you guys keep sending in stories and watching
them. So comment down below if you'd
like to see another video like this in the future.
I appreciate you all watching. It means the world.
And please like the video and subscribe to the channel.
It helps me keep making videos like this and it helps more than
you know. And all right, without further
ado, let's get into some crazy anonymous confessions.
(00:43):
Cheating addiction. Hey Snook, thank you for all you
do. I feel like you are a very
genuine person. I have a confession to make to
you and all the lovely people ofYouTube.
I feel like it's something people avoid talking about in a
realistic fashion. Thank you so much for the kind
words and on to your confession.I can't seem to stop cheating on
(01:03):
my husband and I am too ashamed and terrified to talk to my
therapist about it. We've been together for about 6
or 7 years total. In the first year or so, he
wasn't very faithful. He kept going to hang out with
his ex even though he swore nothing was going on, and he
kept liking inappropriate photosof other girls that look nothing
like me on Instagram. No matter how many times I
(01:24):
talked to him about it, it wouldn't stop.
Eventually, against my best judgement, I moved in with him.
Six months into me living with him, I found out he'd been
cheating on me with someone fromhis hometown.
They had just been swapping inappropriate pictures and
talking, but it was enough to break my heart.
He convinced me to stay with himand a couple years later, again
(01:45):
against my better judgement, we got married.
We got marriage counseling but he would always promise to the
therapist he would do the work and he didn't try it all.
I don't know how to put this delicately but he never wanted
to be intimate with me and I couldn't understand.
I have confidence issues for sure but I would say I'm pretty
attractive. He did ask me to marry him after
(02:06):
all. I felt and still feel unwanted.
There's other issues with our relationship but anyways that's
enough back story. I started making dating accounts
and going on dates. This has been going on for at
least a few years now. There's even been a couple times
where I've had boyfriends. At first I felt very guilty.
After a while I felt so numb to it.
(02:27):
I never meant in a malicious waytowards him.
Not in a revenge way, just in a desperate, disgusting way.
I was looking for the affection I was missing in my current
relationship. It almost feels like I'm trying
to prove to myself that I am enough, that someone wants me.
There's definitely more back story to this as far as
childhood trauma. I definitely am not saying this
is justified or OK. I guess I just wanted to share
(02:50):
this to give the people being cheated on a perspective on a
cheater's side. That it's not your fault, it's
not personal, you don't deserve it, but you unfortunately had to
be the collateral for your partner's lack of self esteem,
emotional damage, and mental illness.
I know this needs to be addressed.
I will tell myself to knock it off and I will block everyone
(03:10):
who I'm talking to and delete all dating accounts and try to
focus on our marriage but eventually I relapse and fall
right into it once I feel depressed about our marriage
again. I suppose advice is welcome and
I deserve to be chastised, but thank you to everyone that
listened to my confession. Well wishes anonymous.
And thank you so much for sharing that.
(03:31):
I appreciate you being open and just sharing this with the
channel. And I'm young and never been
married, but I'll try to give some, you know, advice from the
outside looking in. And I don't know, going through
or just reading through a story,a lot of kind of thoughts came
through and through my head. And you kind of, you know,
(03:52):
listed a laundry list of things that didn't work out with your
husband. And in my head, you know, I
would hate to recommend this, but it just doesn't seem like
this relationship is working outin the slightest.
It looks like you've been married to him for seven years
or been with him for seven years.
That's a long time. But this relationship seems very
(04:14):
tumultuous. Like, I don't know how much, you
know, counseling or, you know, couples therapy could even help
this. And I hate to say that I like to
have a optimistic view on a lot of these confessions.
But, you know, he's cheated on you before you were even married
and, you know, still a bit unfaithful even while you're
(04:36):
married. And now you've kind of, you
know, or you've been unfaithful to your husband.
And I think, you know, before you know, divorce or, you know,
ending it, I think you need to see a therapist or someone in
some sort of, you know, some sort of specialty that could
(04:57):
help you out. You kind of said at the end
saying I relapse and fall right into it once I feel depressed
about our marriage again. So it's an addiction of some
sort. You know, there's an addiction
for everything and cheating addiction does exist.
So maybe some sort of therapy for that.
We're talking to someone. Who's been in a similar
situation as you? That could be.
(05:18):
You know, a possible fix? Or maybe just, you know, be
completely open with your husband.
I mean, it seems like you guys are living completely different
lives. You said you've gone on dates
and had private boyfriends with other people.
Yeah, that's you're living an entire life, you know, hidden
from him. So I think if you be open,
(05:40):
honest and say, hey, we are in abad spot.
I need to be open and honest with you.
If you're open and honest with me, maybe that's it.
I kind of had a, you know, that was kind of a rambling of what I
think. But, you know, I think you are
both in both dug yourself a holeand it's not the same hole
(06:01):
either. And you kind of need to get
yourself out of that hole and hopefully maybe, you know,
rekindle this relationship. It sucks to hear and I'm sorry
that you know you're going through that and hopefully you
can get this figured out. I hope my advice is somewhat on
the right track. If it is, you know, I hope it
(06:23):
helps. And for everyone else watching
right now, please leave a comment and hopefully help her
through this. If you've ever been through
something similar, I'm sure she'll really appreciate it and
thank you so much for sharing. On to the next one.
Hey Snook, this is my confessionand if you want to Give your
(06:43):
opinion after, please do. I love your videos by the way.
I killed a man and got away withit.
I used to work night shifts in amaximum security prison, the
kind of place where these cells are concrete and steel and the
people inside them are locked down 23 hours a day.
If they're lucky, they get one hour in a cage to breathe fresh
air and see the stun like a dog in a kennel.
(07:06):
The rest of the time, darkness, rage, boredom and noise.
It changes people, and it changes the people who work
there too. Slowly, quietly, until you're
not the same either. This story is the night I
realized how far gone I really was.
We had an inmate. He was part of the Aryan
Brotherhood. White guy, covered in ink, dead
eyes, and a reputation for beingunpredictable.
(07:29):
That night he smoked some K2. If you've ever seen someone do
it, you know it doesn't take much to send them over the edge.
When the call came through the radio.
Then he was tweaking out. I was on my way, responding with
a Sergeant. We headed down to Sea House as
soon as we stepped in. I could tell.
Something was off. He was pacing fast, muttering
under his breath, muscles twitching like he was fighting
(07:50):
under his own skin. We ordered him to cuff up.
Nothing. Just stared through us like we
weren't even real. We hit him with OC spray.
Still nothing. More commands, more spray.
His face was soaked, but he didn't flinch.
Eventually, maybe out of confusion or exhaustion, he
complied. I don't really know why he
(08:10):
complied. Well, kind of enough for us to
get control and escort him to decontamination.
And that's when everything went to hell.
While we were rinsing him off, trying to get the spray out of
his eyes, he suddenly snapped. He mule kicked me in the chest
so hard I hit the towel floor like a sack of potatoes.
The impact knocked the breath out of me and for a second all I
(08:31):
could hear was ringing in my ears.
The Sergeant pulled his Taser and lit him up.
It should have dropped him, but it didn't.
It just enraged him and made himstronger.
We hit our emergency buttons fast. 2 sergeants ran him first,
then came more officers. What followed wasn't a scuffle,
it was a full on brawl with thisguy.
He slipped 1 cuff and turned feral head, butting one Co
(08:53):
punching another in the face, grabbing for anything he could
use. We all were bleeding, I was
bleeding from the back of the head.
He got tased four more times. Didn't matter.
His body was moving on pure adrenaline and whatever
chemicals were frying his brain.It took everything we had to get
him down. When we finally did, we stomped
them over and over, boots slamming into him just to keep
(09:17):
him down. It wasn't just restraint, it was
fear, fury, adrenaline. It was chaos.
And then finally it was over. He was unconscious when they
took him, rushed to an outside hospital.
Hours later we got word he didn't make it.
I was also taken to an outside hospital and had 11 staples in
the back of the head. My other officer had blood
(09:39):
coming from his nose and was treated for that in a broken
rib. We all had injuries to many to
list. To be honest with you, I
honestly expected investigationsreports were a real fallout.
But that's not what happened. The captain called a few of us
into the office and said flat out you did what you had to do.
That was it. No write ups for any of us, no
questions and no review. No cameras pulled.
(10:01):
It vanished, swept under the ruglike it never happened.
Except it did happen and it didn't vanish for me.
Since that night I've been wrecked.
PTSD, insomnia, nightmares that come so vivid I wake up gasping.
I see his eyes, I hear the boots.
I feel that cold blood on the back of my head.
(10:21):
I take medication just to sleep.I go to therapy once a week.
I walk around most days pretending I'm fine when I'm
barely hanging on. And yeah, I've got survivor's
guilt because I lived and he didn't.
Because even though I knew he was dangerous, even though I
know he could have killed one ofus, I still can't shake the
thought that maybe we went too far.
That may be in the middle of allthe chaos, something inside me
(10:43):
snap to something I can't get back.
People talk about working corrections like it's just
another job, but no one tells you what it does to your mind.
No one tells you that sometimes the worst monsters in the
building aren't the ones in the cells.
It's the things the job pulls out of you.
When you're pushed to the edge. I didn't just walk out of that
prison with a paycheck. I walked out with blood on my
(11:05):
hands and severe mental issues. I don't think I'll ever be able
to forgive myself. And wow, thank you so much for
sharing. And my advice right off the bat,
or just my thoughts is just in my mind.
I'm just like, why would you feel bad?
Your life was Dane in danger andyou're you had to fight back or
(11:26):
else, you know, he could have killed you.
But I realized that that's way easier said than experiencing it
and being the cause of someone'sdeath or being so close to
witnessing it. It's just, I can't even imagine
(11:46):
it. And so I can't just say, well,
you know, he could have killed you because of course he did.
But I don't know how that would affect me.
But I can't imagine how it affects you.
I mean, you just outlined it terrific.
And I, I, it seems horrible, butit's just, I'm glad you're
getting help. Like you said, you already have
(12:07):
therapy, you know, medication tohelp you sleep a little.
But if I had some advice and, you know, take this lightly, you
know, maybe getting a change of scenery could help.
If you can, maybe, you know, go on a nice vacation to the woods
or something with somebody, go with your friends, try to get
(12:28):
out of the, you know, kind of day-to-day grind that you
experienced before the incident and during the incident.
Because you, I think you really would need to kind of break that
cycle or else that mental cycle is going to keep happening of I
mean, I'm not saying that's insulin to make you not feel
bad, but I think it's going to remove you from the situation
(12:51):
that's so familiar. And if you get out, go somewhere
new, kind of get a whole new experience of everything, it'll
help take your mind off that slightly.
Keep going to therapy. You know, the medication will
help, I'm sure. But I think something like that
to kind of break the cycle of the mental, you know, just the
mental recurrences of, you know,going back to the same place
(13:13):
where that incident happened. I can't imagine the feeling, you
know, maybe do something like that.
I don't know if that's even valid advice, but that's just.
Kind of my thoughts on it. I'm sorry and I things will get
better, just take it a day at a time and I believe in you.
Anyone watching, please comment down below your thoughts and if
you've ever experienced something as horrific as that
(13:35):
and any sort of advice. Thank you so much for sharing.
I appreciate. It and on to the next one.
Hey Snook, my confession has been eating me alive.
I'm doing better now and I saw your videos on confessions and I
decided to put mine in. I hope to be in a video, but
even a e-mail back saying you read, I would be happy.
(13:57):
Hey, I don't really know how to start this, but I have to say
something. I owe it to a lot of people into
myself. My name is Diego.
I'm 17, and a few days ago I didsomething that I can't take
back, something that's been tearing me up inside.
I killed a puppy, not on purpose, but it happened and
(14:18):
it's my fault. It was my neighbor's dog.
Her name was Luna. She was this little golden
retriever puppy, like maybe fourmonths old, just full of energy,
always running around. When we were outside, I was
backing out of our driveway. I wasn't even going fast.
Music was on. I was in a hurry.
I didn't see her. I didn't even know she had
gotten out. And then I felt the bump.
(14:41):
I thought it was a rock. I stopped.
I got out and she was there. She was already gone.
I froze. I couldn't breathe.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
I just broke down right there inthe driveway.
I told my neighbor right away. I told my mom.
I've cried more in the past few days than I ever have in my
life. It was an accident, but that
(15:03):
doesn't make it OK. She trusted me, everyone did,
and I let them down. I keep replaying it in my head,
wondering what if I checked? What if I looked again?
What if I hadn't been rushing? I never saying sorry doesn't fix
this, but I am sorry from the bottom of my heart.
I would give anything to take itback to Luna.
(15:25):
I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve that.
You deserved a long happy life and I took that from you.
I don't expect forgiveness. I just wanted to tell the truth
and to say I will never ever letanything happen like this again.
Ever. Thank you for listening.
(15:45):
This isn't spooky or unsettling,it's just depressing.
I dated a guy for nine years, was married to him for two, then
left him for someone I met online and I regret it so much.
This guy was my best friend in high school.
I was immediately enamored with him when I saw him because he
was a shy dork and so was I. I actually left my high school
(16:06):
boyfriend to be with his friend,but that's a different story.
We dated for a long time and we're really happy.
We supported each other through college and experienced a lots
of up and downs. The happiest I've ever been was
when I was with him. Then the pandemic hit and we're
trapped inside together constantly.
I met someone online and fell inlove with them almost as much as
(16:26):
I left my husband. I even brought up the idea of
plamory to my husband but he wasn't into it.
He really wanted to work things out and we even tried couples
therapy but my dumbass thought this other guy was the one for
me. So I left my husband for this
other guy who moved to my state to be with me.
I'm still friends with my ex-husband and he's doing great
for himself. I'm so proud of him.
(16:48):
I've been doing worse since the split, but I'm currently working
on myself and therapy. I'm still with the other guy
whom I still love, but it's justnot the same love I had with my
ex-husband. It hurts sometimes to see my ex
doing so much better than I am, but I'm also really happy that
he is. He deserves to be happy.
My sister had a child recently and sometimes it pains me to
think about the child I could have shared with my ex.
(17:10):
He would have been a great dad. Hell, he would have been a great
uncle to this kid. Oh well.
Anyway, that's it. Hopefully this provides some
juicy drama to a video. I'm still trying to work on
myself as well as my ex does forhimself.
He's doing so great and again, I'm so proud of him.
(17:30):
I purposely killed a kitten. Hi Snook, I love listening to
your videos so please never stopdoing what you're doing.
Part of my grammar, English is not my first language.
I'd appreciate it if you kept meanonymous and place this story
in a Confessions video. I really want to get this off my
chest because I've been holding on to it for more than two years
at this point. I've never been diagnosed with
(17:52):
anything ADHDOCD, not even depression because I live in an
island where mental health is nothing more than a stupid thing
made-up by the younger generations.
During this time, I can't deny that my walls were crumbling and
really need someone to talk to, but I don't want to be labeled
as someone who's psychopathic because of this incident.
It's important to note that in this island we don't have any of
(18:13):
those big stores, Walmart, Home Depot, etcetera, so buying stuff
to take care of pets is considered a privilege.
We don't even have any kibbles or grooming tools.
People need to place orders and wait around a week to a month
just to ship out a delivery and get them across islands
surrounded by large masses of water with shipping fees worth
more than the actual order in a locals week long salary.
(18:35):
So you can imagine the amount ofstrays roaming the streets.
Also we don't have any shelters or veterinary clinics.
It's not unusual to see puppies or kittens in a Bush left behind
by either stray moms or locals who knew they wouldn't be able
to take care of any more pets. This was the reason I wanted to
become a vet, which is ironic considering the story's title.
(18:58):
As a kid, I've adored animals and always knew I wanted to
become someone who could help them.
But after this incident, I really don't know if my
conscience can take becoming a one anymore.
In school, some of my classmatesheard a faint meowing right
outside the exit door behind a small concrete fence.
We went to check it out and found a small kitten which
(19:18):
looked not even a week old, as if it was fresh out of its
mother's womb. All of us were shocked to see
this. That area was coming for snake
sidings. Yes, as dangerous as it sounds,
we still had to study in this kind of environment because we
had no other choice. We thought the mother would come
back. So we waited until last period
which ended around 5:00 PM and we would usually stay until dark
(19:39):
just because this was the only time of the day where you get to
probably hang out and chill their friends.
After that, we went to check whether the mother came back or
not. It hasn't.
It was just there, laying on thecold concrete ground, panicking.
They all entrusted me with the kitten since they knew how much
I loved animals. I didn't know what I was
thinking this time. I knew a kitten who was just
(20:00):
born wouldn't have a chance to survive without a mother's
warmth and milk. But still, I took it home and
even showed it to my parents, saying I took it in because I
was confident that it would survive in my hands if only I
had the chance to reverse everything.
I'd smack my own head just so the guilt would stop.
I prepared everything. It needed A warm and cozy place
to sleep with clothes I didn't use anymore, A flashlight to
(20:23):
use. When I needed to feed it a
syringe I borrowed from my neighbor to feed the warm milk I
made and paid close attention. During everything, I learned
that newborn kittens needed to be fed every two to three hours.
For the first week, I thought I had everything under control,
but then the meowing began. Oh, the meowing.
I wanted to tear my ears out just to make it stop.
(20:44):
It didn't help that we still hadclasses at 7:00 AM the next day.
I kept telling myself that for someone who wanted to become a
vet, you can't even handle a puny cat's cries for milk.
The syringe didn't have the needle at the end, so this made
it hard to feed the cat in. Ordering those silicone nipples
would take around a week to a month to arrive.
I was also a 15 year old just living off my allowance, which
(21:05):
in the US money was only $0.34. I knew taking it in was a
mistake, but I had forced it because I wanted to prove that
as a vet at heart I could make things work.
But after everything I snapped. I was not thinking straight when
this happened. I grabbed a piece of thick cloth
and with all my strength I pushed down.
(21:25):
I smothered the kitten with the intentions of suffocating and
killing it while it tried its best to meow and asked for me to
stop. A couple minutes of doing this,
I could hear it's me outgrowing fainter and fainter until
eventually it stopped. I'm a murderer, I thought.
I could not comprehend what justhappened during all of this.
(21:46):
My flashlight was behind me, casting this terrifying shadow,
and I swear I get to hear voicesscreaming at me, blaming me for
killing a poor innocent cat. I wish I could tell you that
this was the end, but after sitting there and slowly
realizing what I did, I looked at its body.
I saw a small gas for air. This poor kid was still fighting
(22:08):
to live. I wanted to get it out of its
misery. I took it outside in the dark
with my flashlight in my left hand, this kid in my right.
This was probably two or three in the morning where a stream of
water was waiting. I kneeled down and I placed it
in the water for the current to take it.
It wasn't curiosity that killed the cat, it was me.
(22:28):
Until now I'm still guilty of doing this, but I wanted a place
to confess of how horrible of a person I am.
I went back inside and went to bed crying that night.
In the morning I even lied and told everyone that the kitten
just couldn't make it through the night.
I hate myself so much snuck, butI choose to carry this skill as
a reminder that if is the snakescould have done the same, I
(22:49):
should have just let them do it instead of putting unnecessary
blood on my hands. To me, animals and humans.
Are the same. Not the humans are mammals type
of logic, but literally seeing them as mute humans.
So this incident to me felt likeI murdered someone.
Today me becoming a vet feels like a crime.
I hate myself for being so fucking dumb for doing something
(23:11):
so horrendous to a cat who was weaker, defenseless and had
nothing but it's meows to use against me.
I tell myself that whenever I see pets.
But around 8 months ago we foundanother stray.
I'd never do the same shit twiceand regret it all over again.
I found this one while she was around a month old and she's a
sweetheart. This is my way of repenting for
(23:32):
what I did and so far everything's been amazing.
I love her the same way I wishedI did for the first.
I'm getting into college soon and even though it still feels
like a crime to choose vet Med, it's the only way I can help
with the guilt. That's all Snook, if you ever
read this, thank you for taking your time and I hope you
continue this way of YouTube because you're seriously helping
people out there get these things off their chests.
(23:54):
I know this sounds nothing like the other stories you've read,
but to me, as someone who dreamed of saving animals from
the very start, I can never be forgiven.
Hey Snook, just want to start off with a little note letting
you know I love your videos and love listening to them in the
mornings. And same as everyone else, keep
me anonymous. A background on me is that I
(24:15):
collect and pin bugs. It's been a hobby of mine for a
very long time and I love teaching others about them.
I'm very confident in my identification skills and I got
too comfortable with myself. I am also high on the autism
spectrum, which is where this hyperfixation likely came from.
Recently I was at a site where Iwas near a threatened species.
(24:36):
I won't be saying what it is dueto the location areas this
species is. It isn't, however, it is a
species of butterfly. I was aware of the species and
what else was out there such as other types of flying friends.
I came across a butterfly slash moth, grabbed it gently in my
hands and snapped a Google lens.Photo to check if I was.
Right, that it was a certain type.
(24:56):
Google agreed with me, so I tookit, put it in a kill jar, and
went along with my process. It's not until a few moments ago
with me and my bad vision. Notice this particular pattern
only the threatened species has.I realized seconds later what
I'd done and how guilty I'd felt.
I was sure it was something else, but I was wrong and I feel
(25:17):
ashamed of it. I should have known that it must
have been the threatened speciesbecause it was on the land.
I don't want to tell anyone but my partner because I know I can
get in serious trouble. Just need to get off my chest
and out there to people who I know can't confront me for my
idiotic actions. I'm open to advice but I'm not
sure there's much I can do now about it.
(25:37):
If the species does go extinct. I've been advised to donate this
butterfly to a museum and I willdo so if this ever becomes the
case. All right, that's or just this
is a really unique confession, you know, never heard or read
anything like this before on thechannel.
So, you know, very unique. And I'm not sure how to even
(26:01):
approach this because, yeah, that's a, you know, you're,
you've got yourself in a unique predicament, you know, no one
else has really been in. But it was a mistake.
It seems like you didn't mean to, you know, kill this extinct
or you know, threatened species for your collection.
It seems like a true mistake andit really seems easy to do,
(26:24):
especially if there is a speciesthat's similar to that.
I don't know anything about bugs, but I can see how it's a
easy mistake. But then again, I would feel
horrible if this butterfly does go extinct and I know I
contributed to it, but that's just me and I really don't know.
Advice. This is kind of my thoughts on
(26:45):
this story, you know, advice. Maybe maybe just automatically
donated to the museum. I guess maybe you know, if you
can do some conservation effortsin that area to maybe help.
Out the butterfly poppies population I.
Really don't know or have any good advice to add.
I, I don't know if this is helpful to you at all and if
(27:08):
anyone watching this has any sort of, you know, unique
perspective or advice for them, you know, please comment down
below. But thank you so much for
sharing. Definitely unique and I'm sorry
I don't have great advice, but thank you.
And on to the next one. Confession.
I watched my mom die and I don'tknow how I'm still functioning.
(27:31):
Hi Snook, I want to start with this by saying thank you for
providing a space for people to get their deepest thoughts and
feelings off their chest. I often listen to your videos
while I work or drive, and many of them bring me to Sears.
They have also inspired me to finally speak about something I
haven't even talked to a therapist about yet.
About a year ago now, my mom wasdiagnosed with stage 4
(27:51):
pancreatic cancer. I don't mean to compare cancers
because all of them are bad, butpancreatic cancer is probably
one of the worst types a person could ever be diagnosed with.
It has a less than 13% five yearsurvival rate and even lower if
the cancer has already spread toother organs in the body.
With my mom being above the age of 60 at the time and being
(28:12):
stage 4, she had a less than 2% chance of surviving past five
years. When she was diagnosed, she was
given 6 to 12 months to live. I was devastated.
I was only 21 at the time, and my mom was my best friend.
She was a military veteran, having done over 20 years in the
Air Force and retired as a tech Sergeant.
(28:33):
Because of this, we thankfully didn't have to pay for anything,
for a treatment or hospital stay, nor for a funeral, but it
didn't really matter anyways. The cancer had spread to her
other organs, so surgery was notan option and due to various
other factors, chemotherapy is not working.
Her body was just too weak and she was in a lot of pain.
(28:54):
I wanted to keep trying to see if we can make it at least the
six month mark or at least untilmy birthday the next month in
September. But about a week before she
died, she made the decision to move herself to Hospice.
She only lived for three weeks after her date of diagnosis.
On the day she died, I sat by her bedside and held her hand as
I washed her fade away, watchingas her body shut down while the
(29:16):
cancer ate away at her organs. I never cried so hard in my
life. The one positive I have is that
the last thing we said to each other was I love you the night
before. She was already unresponsive by
the next day, so that was the last thing I ever heard from her
aside from watching her die right in front of me.
The hardest part was watching her body slowly waste away.
(29:36):
She went from a somewhat chubby woman, a little over 230 lbs
with no serious health complications even at her age,
to weighing just £150 in over a month.
She was the type of person to get up at 5:00 AM just to go on
a walk around the park. But the last two months or so
before she died, she could barely walk around the house
without a cane or needed to leanon things.
(29:57):
I dreaded watching her fall asleep because I was so.
Afraid she wouldn't wake up, Shedied just 10 days before my
birthday. And as if it couldn't possibly
get worse, my grandma died exactly 3 weeks later.
But my grandma was well into her90s and had a pretty serious
case of dementia, so me and my family were expecting her to
pass soon. We just didn't know it would be
(30:18):
so soon after my mom dying. Thankfully she passed peacefully
in her sleep without knowing shehad just lost one of her
daughters. And now to the main reason I'm
even writing this. I feel this strange sense of
guilt. Not because I think her death
was my fault or anything, I knowit wasn't, but because for some
reason my mom's death isn't affecting me like I thought it
(30:40):
would. Growing up my greatest fear was
my mom dying. I didn't think I could even go
on living if that happened. I convinced myself that I would
do be so devastated that I'd came myself if she ever did die.
And yet here I am, 10 months later, I'm functioning.
Greatly, in all honesty. I have friends that I smile and
laugh with. I have a boyfriend whom I love
(31:02):
dearly. And I love.
Spending time with my other family members.
And yet I still feel guilty, like her death should have
affected me far more than it did.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still sad about it.
I can't watch shows or movies that involve a character's
mother dying. I scroll past tik toks or reels
of someone fondly speaking abouttheir mother.
I have to force myself not to pay attention to Mother's Day
(31:24):
announcement everywhere. And sometimes I even feel
jealous of all my friends and family whose mothers are still
in their lives. My mom is my whole world.
I never went more than 12 hours without speaking to her in some
way, and I can find in her abouteverything.
I wanted to grow older like her and I've peacefully passed away
in her sleep like my grandma, but I watched her die when my
(31:46):
life was really just getting started.
And somehow, even though I neverfully said any of this to
anyone, I continue to live on happily.
Even Yes, there are frequent nights that I cry myself asleep
and sometimes I'll suddenly burst into tears if I get a
memory of her or if someone asksabout her.
Even now, I struggle to write this without crying, but even
(32:07):
still, I can say I'm happy the majority of the time.
The one year anniversary of her death is coming up, and I'm
afraid to face it. I've lasted this long, sure, but
what if something changes? What if it only takes until then
to break? What if I've just been barely
hanging on by a thread and I didn't even know it?
I won't know until that day happens, but I'll try to get my
(32:27):
head up high and to remain strong.
It's what my mom would have wanted, and that's really all I
want to say right now. I could say more, such as how I
think medical malpractice had a lot to do with us not knowing
about the cancer sooner, but I honestly don't care about that
anymore. My mom has already gone anyways
and I'd rather not get angry over a situation I'm already
(32:50):
fully saddened by. I apologize if this was long.
As I said before, I've never spoken about my feelings in such
detail to anyone, not even my dad and my boyfriend nor a
therapist, and I just wanted to say thank you, Snook for giving
me a space to get these feelingsout, as I've definitely been
keeping them bottled up all thistime.
As morbid and selfish as this sounds, one of the things that
(33:12):
keeps me going is knowing that Iwill never have to watch or hear
about my mom dying in a horribleor gruesome way.
I'll never have to experience mymom dying ever again because I
already lived through it. And if this makes it in the
video to anyone that is in a similar situation, just know
that you may be stronger than you think if they haven't passed
yet. Try to give your family a member
(33:33):
the most comfortable last days as possible.
Even now I still wish I would have told my mom I loved her
more even though I said that every day.
Show them as much love as you can because one day you won't be
able to. Thank you for reading and I hope
you have a better day than yesterday.
I killed a baby duck. Hey Snook, I'm a new watcher and
(33:56):
enjoy your anonymous confessionsand decided to try and get
something off my chest when I was younger.
In my teen years, about 15 to 16years old, me and my sibling
would always often go out from our apartment and walk around
the neighborhood. Hood we would frequently go to
the pool or have a stroll while taking the trash out, or even go
near our big pond that occasionally has ducks and other
(34:18):
creatures. There was a particular day where
me and my siblings stumbled upona mother duck who just had
babies and was caring for them. We would have sometimes try and
go touch the baby duck or get close but we would never do
anything like that until a certain day.
Me and my sibling went outside to go play basketball in one of
the small courts near the pond just for fun.
(34:40):
But on our way to enter the court, we saw the Mama duck, but
she was alone with only. One baby duck.
We were kind of worried, wondering what had happened to
the babies and actually looked around for them.
We eventually found them, but they had already passed away.
It had looked like some kind of animal I guess.
Ripped them to shreds. They had cats in our
neighborhood so it wasn't reallya shocker on what could have
(35:00):
killed them. Stupidly, I for some unknown
reason was so upset and assumed that the last living baby duck
wouldn't survive on its own. Now I want to clarify that I,
back in my younger years, was not doing so well mentally.
I was going through it quite a lot in those times.
It wasn't so right in the head. I have been and for many years
now still deeply regret my decision on this and wished I
(35:21):
could have stopped myself from ever doing this.
I do not accept these actions whatsoever and do not support
them. So when me and my siblings saw
that one baby duck was raining, I somehow managed to catch it
and me and my sibling held it and pet it.
The Mama duck however one in thepond and seemed to get a good
distance away from us after we managed to capture her last
baby. We were in the court playing and
(35:43):
petting it when all of a sudden I had the thought that this baby
duck would have died anyways, itwould never survive, and went on
impulse to take it and slam it onto the courtyard ground.
I'd done it a couple times to make sure it was dead and began
crying after that happened. I actually tried to bring it
back to life after that situation happened, but it made
(36:04):
things worse. My sibling tried to comfort me
and tell me it was OK, that it was just an accident.
I was tremendously horrified at what I'd done and was just
sitting in the court bawling my eyes out after the scene.
My sibling knew what had happened and wanted to assure me
that it would be OK if we could bury the baby duck and tell
nobody about it. Ever since that day I've
(36:25):
actually had gone self-control and impulses like that since I
had a history of herding animalsbut then feeling horrible and
crying afterwards. I have tried to accept the fact
that I cannot turn back time, but the guilt of all these
things I've done when I was younger hangs heavy and I deeply
feel remorse for the animals I have caused harm to and wish I
(36:46):
wasn't that way long ago. I am now 19, becoming the age of
20. I've gotten better as time went
on. Sorry for the long story.
Thanks for reading. I have murderous tendencies to
everyone I love. Hi Snook, as you read on the
title, this might be a little heavy.
(37:07):
I would like it if you could keep me anonymous, but I know
you'll do that anyways. If this gets featured in a video
it'd be much appreciated since Imaybe want others feedback too.
I'm also sorry if my writing is a bit choppy.
I am a transgender boy, female to male.
That is a bit relevant to this confession.
My parents are OK people. I'm not very close with my dad
(37:27):
but I still love him. The reason I'm not close with
him is because he's very bigotedand always says I'll burn in
hell for my actions. It took me a long long time to
get that out of my mindset. My mom is my favorite, and I do
most of the things in my life with her.
This doesn't make me not want tohurt her.
I think about it a lot, mostly at night.
I think about how satisfying it would feel to slit my dad's
(37:49):
throat and watch as he bleeds out on the floor.
I think about how good it would feel to get revenge for all the
terrible things he put me through for my mom.
I think about making art out of her body once I'm done with her,
carving her into something amazing.
I would never do any of this to them since I love them dearly
and can't imagine a world without them, but it doesn't
stop the thoughts from prevailing against all odds.
(38:09):
I feel very guilty for the way Ithink, but I can't help myself.
I don't have anyone to talk to and I've been to multiple mental
hospitals before for unrelated things.
I've had multiple attempts on mylife done by myself.
I have a SH addiction. Those are other things I want to
confess. All in all, thank you if you
read this confession. I'll understand if you don't put
(38:30):
it in a video and I really don'tthink you will.
I love watching your videos while I do other things.
And OK, I really think you should talk to somebody, a
therapist, a counselor, some sort, you know, it seems like
you have, you know, a lot going on and that's OK.
But it's not the best to, you know, carry it all by yourself,
(38:52):
especially thoughts like those, those are not positive thoughts
in the, you know, slightest. And so if you want, if you're
comfortable, I really feel like you should talk to somebody
about these thoughts and hopefully someone more
professional can get you on the right track.
You know, I, I believe you can get better, but from you, just
what you just outlined doesn't sound so great or positive.
(39:13):
So, you know, please talk to somebody.
It would help you so much. And hopefully this advice is
enough. If anyone else is watching and
been in a similar situation likethis, please comment down below
any sort of, you know, feedback or advice you've had for them.
I'm sure they would greatly greatly appreciate it.
(39:36):
Hi Snook, I listened to one of your confession videos and heard
about a user who had a terrible weed experience and thought I
would share mine as a cautionarytale.
About a year ago I'd take an interest in trying an edible and
had a great time with friends. Small dose of a few milligrams
and love the freedom it gave me from anxiety because I had a
positive experience. I would of course tried again,
(39:57):
this time with my partner trips it in.
The problem is. I completely misdosed and took a
lot more at once, something you should never do as someone new
to weed slash edibles, especially for my weight.
I'm a fairly thin woman. Everything was good until my
vision started to distort and I started screaming that I was
going to die. At this point everything began
to separate, like what I was seeing was a different reality
(40:19):
than my mind, and my thoughts felt as if they were repeating
in a constant loop. My partner not aware that I had
misdosed. Tried to do his best to calm me
down as I was either completely non responsive or screaming for
help as I was thoroughly convinced I was overdosing and
needed to go to the hospital. Looking back now it was clearly
a weed induced panic attack. We did end up going to the ER
(40:42):
where they gave me a strong anxiety slash sedative
medication and I woke up a day later almost completely fine
physically and mentally. Or so I thought.
That's where the second trip happened, due to my inflated
confidence that the same problemcould not happen again.
So I took. You know, a medium.
Dose this was the nail in the coffin as I would proceed to
(41:03):
have all of the problems I did last time, thoughts looping,
panic that something isn't right, disassociating as well as
the new fear that I was going toenter back.
Into the mental death spiral I had went into during my last bad
trip. This time, however, I would have
no medical sedatives to knock meout until the THC was out of my
system, which meant having to fight off from having a panic
(41:24):
attack for an entire day. While also fearing I was losing
my mind. I obviously came down but a part
of me was definitely lost after the second bad trip.
First, I now unlocked panic attacks which I had never had
now before despite my gadi get them at night, sometimes even
having them in my dreams. I'll usually send it around
losing my mind or feeling as if I'm losing my grasp on what is
(41:47):
real. Second, I've become very fearful
of those on drugs, including alcohol, which has been a bummer
for my partner as he does like an occasional drink. 3rd, I have
had disassociated phases almost everyday completely losing
myself and my surroundings for at least a couple minutes.
I feel so stupid letting this happen to myself as it was
entirely my fault that I misdosed and then chose to be a
(42:10):
fucking idiot the second time. It's been about a year now and I
still don't feel like my old self and I fear I have
legitimately traumatized myself all because of an edible.
I also feel guilty for the trauma I have caused for those
around me, especially my partneras he told me that he could
still hear my screams of genuinefear as I pleaded for my life
and my drugs state. While I have recovered mostly
(42:32):
from my initial trauma, it has made my anxiety so much worse
and I wish I could go back and never touch the stuff.
While this all seems dramatic, especially only for something
deemed tame like weed, it genuinely happened to me and
that drug can do way more damagethan people give it credit for
if misused. If you suffer from anxiety or
take SSR is please please do your research before trying to
(42:55):
take an edible or dabble in thissort of stuff.
I didn't and paid the price for making my otherwise happy life
worse permanently. Well, it was good that I found
out I shouldn't take drugs with something tame like THC.
It still has done irreversible damage to my psyche.
If you do drugs, please researchthe right dose, know your mental
stability, your medication and if it conflicts with the drug,
(43:17):
and be with trusted people or else you might pay like I did.
And thank you so much for sharing.
And weed in general is a very hot topic issue.
And I'd like to kind of share because, you know, I've had a
fair share of friends go throughthe same things.
I myself has never have never partaken in the consumption of
(43:39):
weed or edibles, but I have had many friends kind of go through
certain things similar to this. And I feel like people do not
give weed the respect it has andthey just treat it as something
frivolous. Like it's very light, it's a
light drug, but it really can mess with your head and cause
(44:00):
long lasting mental issues. It can, you know, stir up, you
know, hidden mental issues such as schizophrenia.
It can cause psychosis. I'm not anti weed, but I think
people really need to educate themselves before trying
something like it. You know, I don't care if you do
do it, but I if you are going todo it, please, please, you know,
(44:24):
educate yourself because if you are caught in a state like the
person who's just shared this confession, you might be caught
in a similar bus where they can really, really mess with your
psyche for a long, long time. And I'm can't remember this off
my top of the head, but I think,you know, for the person who
shared the story, if you're still listening, we'd when it
(44:48):
messes with your head, it will last a long time, but it's not
forever. So, you know, don't kind of get
into a negative spiral that, youknow, oh, I'm screwed up forever
because it's probably not. You might want to get a
therapist or someone to help getyou out of that mental kind of
jail, so to say, where you feel different.
You know, a lot of therapists specialized and stuff like that.
(45:11):
So I'm sure you can get help. It sucks, but yeah, everyone out
there, if you're watching, please do your research before
doing something similar to that.Because yeah, messing with your
psyche, messing with your mentalhealth, or messing with your
mental stability or just any of that stuff is not something to
tamber with in any way, shape orform.
So please, please do your research and be safe out there
(45:33):
on the next one. Hey Snook, please keep this
anonymous and feel free to censor what you need for
YouTube. I'll do my best to keep this
brief, but I've been a long timeviewer and while I normally
wouldn't bother you with such anoffbeat confession, but I met a
woman recently who said my storyhelped give her hope for the
(45:54):
future. So maybe someone else in your
audience will feel the same. Here it is.
I'm a 37 year old woman who has only fallen in love for the very
first time. Doesn't sound like much, but
women of my generation and my part of the world and probably
all others. But I don't want to speak to
what I don't know about, are told from a young age about the
power and importance of love we hear in every song seen in every
(46:17):
movie. And I was right up there with
all of the other girls playing Princess and getting all dolled
up to meet Prince Charming. For some context, I did grow up
in a pretty rough household. The examples of love that I knew
were people who would insult you, hit you, take every penny
you worked for, and then say I love you.
So once puberty hit I excitedly waited to get my first crush.
(46:38):
It was happening to all the other girls.
They would obsess about a boy inour class or a celebrity or even
a teacher sometimes and giggle and swoon like really young
girls do. They'd ask me who I liked and
sometimes I'd lie and say there was someone picking a random guy
we know. But honestly, I just never felt
it. There were a few guys who got
crushes on me and I accepted their offer for a few dates, but
(47:02):
it wouldn't last long because I didn't want to lead them on what
they could find someone who returned their feelings.
This led to a violent stalking incident that lasted most of my
teen years, but that's a story for another time.
It wasn't for a lack of socializing either.
Every summer I would have to go live with another family a few
towns over and help work at their business and help around
their house for room and board. I had three days off a week
(47:24):
where I could go party with the other teens and I was always
meeting new people, but even when they were nice or
attractive, I still didn't like them.
Eventually rumors started to spread that I must be a lesbian.
Rather than take this as an insult, it was intended to be no
offense to the LGBT community. My violent soccer was hoping
that the rumors would pressure me into trying to prove I'm not
(47:46):
and date him because in his mind, if I just gave him one
more chance, I'd seen how nice and awesome he is and fall in
love. I started to think maybe I was.
I hadn't any crushes on women either, but maybe I was in
denial or something and just hadto open myself up to the idea.
So when I moved out my late teens, I started going out with
both men and women. I think I may have even started
(48:09):
developing feelings for one of the women.
I've been seen for about a week.But then she revealed she had a
boyfriend and wanted all three of us to be together.
And I no doubt if I can't even develop feelings for one person,
it sure as hell wasn't going to happen with two.
At the same time. For years after, I threw myself
into my work, into video games, into drinking, and into
(48:29):
cultivating some deep and meaningful friendships.
I'd still go on a lot of dates, especially with the advent of
online dating and apps. But among my friends, it became
the running joke that I was the queen of first dates.
It was hard. I see why so many people settle
for a partner who they may not love.
As I left my 20s, I threw out any thoughts of having kids or
(48:51):
any kind of big white wedding. All my friends got married and I
was right there helping them plan, throwing the bachelorettes
and standing in their wedding parties.
I was a little jealous but always very happy for them.
As I got into my 30's, the dating scene got wild.
I'd regal my friends with tales of being catfished, getting
ghosted in some insanely awkwardmoments.
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I don't care how nervous you are, don't bring your mom to a
first date. I'd open my dating pool so wide
at that point that there was no consistency whatsoever.
People of all genders, shapes, sizes, personality types,
anything. If you had a fun profile and
weren't mean or a creep of the chat, then I'd be open to a
first date. I even went out with people I
didn't really have anything in common because who knows, if we
(49:36):
had a first fun date, maybe I'd find myself thinking about them
the next day. And maybe I finally catch those
feelings. Now this may all sound nuts, but
I'm not saying I'm a prize myself.
I've been rejected, slash dumpedfor all types of reasons, for my
personality, to my hobbies, to my looks.
But my main point is that even in the relationships where I
liked my partner as a person, asa friend, I've never cried when
(50:00):
it ended because I just didn't feel anything deeper than that.
And then I met him. I'm nearing the end of my 30's.
The Internet as a whole has beenscreaming at me that I've lost
most of my value at this point, and even my sisters are telling
me I should wait a few years until all the men have had their
kids and are divorcing their wives.
Nah, fuck that. I decide to keep rolling the
(50:22):
dice because the next day can't possibly get worse than the
last. I really didn't need him to list
off the reasons his ex was more physically attractive than me.
And when I tell you that persistence paid off, I didn't
just get lucky, I hid the jackpot.
We laughed all night. Not the nervous laughter of two
strangers hoping the alcohol hitsoon and can breathe normally
again, but genuine laughter. We talked about our lives, our
(50:44):
jobs, comic books, video games, workout routines, I mean
everything. And he was honest.
He looked like his pictures. He spoke intelligently about
these subjects he's listed beinginterested in.
He was honest about his employment and type of work.
All of it. It was all real in my heart.
To this day, almost exactly a year since we started dating,
(51:06):
still skips a beat when I talk about him.
What's amazing though, isn't just how I feel about him, but
also how he makes me feel about myself.
All the flaws within me that my family says makes me hard to
love, all the parts of my previous partners have tried to
change, and all the things aboutme that make my friends cringe
are all things he loves. It took a lot of lonely years, a
(51:27):
lot of self reflection, and a lot of not settling for someone
who wanted to change me to fit their ideal, but I did.
I found someone who I love, of everything about, and he loves
everything about me. No mass, no putting on airs, no
hiding flaws or farts. So for all those out there still
looking, still wading through the trenches of dating apps or
(51:48):
bars, for those facing down their ends of their teens, their
20s, or even their 30s, just know that it's not too late.
Your life has its own timeline, and just because it's taking you
a bit longer doesn't mean you'rebroken or incapable of love.
Just keep trying, stay safe, andremember that even if it's not a
great. Date.
It can at least make a good story to tell your forever
(52:09):
partner when you find them. When I was young, I made a
completely bogus call to the police that my sister was
hurting me, all just because I was mad at her.
It resulted in her being institutionalized for the
remainder of her junior year anda large portion of her senior
year in high school. She had some problems, but what
(52:30):
I detailed to the police was fully false.
Oh also, I once brought alcohol to school in disguise of a
coffee cup, did shots of 99 proof in the bathroom at school,
and I've done a line of booger sugar in the school bathroom.
Anyways, nothing too crazy to see here.
Bye. Confession.
(52:51):
I faked my disability for years.OK high snook.
First thing I want to say is I absolutely love your videos,
especially the confession ones. I watch them all the time
because they make me feel less alone.
I've been debating sending this in for a few days and finally
have the courage to do it. So to start off I'm a 22 year
old female. However, my story starts in my
freshman year of high school. Right before school started I
(53:13):
got the flu pretty bad. It made me physically exhausted
and overall just feel awful. I did recover before the first
day of school, but I used my recovery as an excuse to get out
of gym class. Originally I was planning on it
being a one time thing. The gym teacher actually
believed me and allowed me to sit out.
I really liked that I got away with it and it felt good and it
(53:35):
was easy. The next day I used the excuse
again and told my teacher my parents were going to take me to
the doctor to get things checkedout.
I ended up going through with itand told my parents that
something was wrong, so they took me to the doctor.
They obviously couldn't find anything wrong with me so I was
sent home. So I forged a note that
clarified my current condition. It said I was suffering A
(53:55):
neurological condition of some sort and again, surprisingly, my
teachers believed me. I got a sort of high from the
lie I was getting away with, so I continued to pull through with
this fake condition. I started putting effort into
fake limping. I really committed to that bit.
I did enough research to be ableto bullshit the people in my
life to make it look legit. Years have passed.
(54:17):
I'm in college now and still faking it.
Not because I want to avoid the activities, but because I feel
like I can't go back now. My parents have asked me more
than anyone else. I had them convinced it was some
sort of psychosomatic condition,something hard to explain
primarily so I didn't have to gotoo deep into anything.
But yeah, I've been having a lotof trouble recently trying to
(54:38):
keep up with it. I feel so guilty, but I'm so
caught up in this slide that I feel like I can't get out
without destroying my entire life.
Thank you for reading, if you do, any advice would be
appreciated. Thank you for the videos you
make Snook. Love them in a right.
It sounds like you've got yourself in a pickle.
You know, you've been faking this condition for years now,
(55:00):
and now you're in too deep. I don't know how many people
know about it, especially since this is college now.
But my question is just kind of like, why you did it?
But at this point, it's kind of just, you know, too late.
I mean, you could do. I'm just, I have two routes in
my mind. Number one, you pretend to get
(55:23):
better and you kind of make up alie that it solved and you're
all good. Or #2 you come clean about it to
everyone and be like, hey, I wasfaking it and this is the real
me, I'm actually fine. Or some sort of mix of the both.
But you know, please don't continue doing this.
I think it's just it's just silly and it's just going to
(55:46):
keep causing problems and you know, you're in too deep
already, but you don't want to continue doing this into work or
other sort of, you know, obligations in your future,
right life. So I really would, you know,
like to suggest to get out of this as soon as you can.
And I don't know how easy that is, and I don't know if you'll
even take my advice, but hopefully you listen to it and
(56:10):
hopefully you can kind of get your life back on track without,
you know, lying about a disability.
Anyways, thank you so much for sharing and all right guys, that
wraps up some crazy anonymous confessions.
Please let me know what you thought about this video down
below. Did you enjoy it?
Would you like to see more? And if you have a confession
you'd like to share, please e-mail it to the e-mail in my
(56:32):
description. I appreciate you watching it.
If you watch to the end of the video, you're awesome.
Please go check out some other videos on the channel.
I'm sure you'll like them. Please like the video and
subscribe to the channel. It helps more of you to know.
And yeah, that wraps up today's video.
Thank you so much for watching. And this is Snook, and we'll see
you next time. Bye.
Hey, what's up guys? And welcome back to another
anonymous confessions video. And today we're getting into
some crazy anonymous confessions.
And all of these confessions aresent in by you guys and.
It's been a while since I've, you know, released a video like
this, so I've got a lot of emails to go through, so this
video will be longer than most confessions videos.
(00:20):
You guys have a lot to confess and I'll keep making these
videos as long as you guys keep sending in stories and watching
them. So comment down below if you'd
like to see another video like this in the future.
I appreciate you all watching. It means the world.
And please like the video and subscribe to the channel.
It helps me keep making videos like this and it helps more than
you know. And all right, without further
ado, let's get into some crazy anonymous confessions.
(00:43):
Cheating addiction. Hey Snook, thank you for all you
do. I feel like you are a very
genuine person. I have a confession to make to
you and all the lovely people ofYouTube.
I feel like it's something people avoid talking about in a
realistic fashion. Thank you so much for the kind
words and on to your confession.I can't seem to stop cheating on
(01:03):
my husband and I am too ashamed and terrified to talk to my
therapist about it. We've been together for about 6
or 7 years total. In the first year or so, he
wasn't very faithful. He kept going to hang out with
his ex even though he swore nothing was going on, and he
kept liking inappropriate photosof other girls that look nothing
like me on Instagram. No matter how many times I
(01:24):
talked to him about it, it wouldn't stop.
Eventually, against my best judgement, I moved in with him.
Six months into me living with him, I found out he'd been
cheating on me with someone fromhis hometown.
They had just been swapping inappropriate pictures and
talking, but it was enough to break my heart.
He convinced me to stay with himand a couple years later, again
(01:45):
against my better judgement, we got married.
We got marriage counseling but he would always promise to the
therapist he would do the work and he didn't try it all.
I don't know how to put this delicately but he never wanted
to be intimate with me and I couldn't understand.
I have confidence issues for sure but I would say I'm pretty
attractive. He did ask me to marry him after
(02:06):
all. I felt and still feel unwanted.
There's other issues with our relationship but anyways that's
enough back story. I started making dating accounts
and going on dates. This has been going on for at
least a few years now. There's even been a couple times
where I've had boyfriends. At first I felt very guilty.
After a while I felt so numb to it.
(02:27):
I never meant in a malicious waytowards him.
Not in a revenge way, just in a desperate, disgusting way.
I was looking for the affection I was missing in my current
relationship. It almost feels like I'm trying
to prove to myself that I am enough, that someone wants me.
There's definitely more back story to this as far as
childhood trauma. I definitely am not saying this
is justified or OK. I guess I just wanted to share
(02:50):
this to give the people being cheated on a perspective on a
cheater's side. That it's not your fault, it's
not personal, you don't deserve it, but you unfortunately had to
be the collateral for your partner's lack of self esteem,
emotional damage, and mental illness.
I know this needs to be addressed.
I will tell myself to knock it off and I will block everyone
(03:10):
who I'm talking to and delete all dating accounts and try to
focus on our marriage but eventually I relapse and fall
right into it once I feel depressed about our marriage
again. I suppose advice is welcome and
I deserve to be chastised, but thank you to everyone that
listened to my confession. Well wishes anonymous.
And thank you so much for sharing that.
(03:31):
I appreciate you being open and just sharing this with the
channel. And I'm young and never been
married, but I'll try to give some, you know, advice from the
outside looking in. And I don't know, going through
or just reading through a story,a lot of kind of thoughts came
through and through my head. And you kind of, you know,
(03:52):
listed a laundry list of things that didn't work out with your
husband. And in my head, you know, I
would hate to recommend this, but it just doesn't seem like
this relationship is working outin the slightest.
It looks like you've been married to him for seven years
or been with him for seven years.
That's a long time. But this relationship seems very
(04:14):
tumultuous. Like, I don't know how much, you
know, counseling or, you know, couples therapy could even help
this. And I hate to say that I like to
have a optimistic view on a lot of these confessions.
But, you know, he's cheated on you before you were even married
and, you know, still a bit unfaithful even while you're
(04:36):
married. And now you've kind of, you
know, or you've been unfaithful to your husband.
And I think, you know, before you know, divorce or, you know,
ending it, I think you need to see a therapist or someone in
some sort of, you know, some sort of specialty that could
(04:57):
help you out. You kind of said at the end
saying I relapse and fall right into it once I feel depressed
about our marriage again. So it's an addiction of some
sort. You know, there's an addiction
for everything and cheating addiction does exist.
So maybe some sort of therapy for that.
We're talking to someone. Who's been in a similar
situation as you? That could be.
(05:18):
You know, a possible fix? Or maybe just, you know, be
completely open with your husband.
I mean, it seems like you guys are living completely different
lives. You said you've gone on dates
and had private boyfriends with other people.
Yeah, that's you're living an entire life, you know, hidden
from him. So I think if you be open,
(05:40):
honest and say, hey, we are in abad spot.
I need to be open and honest with you.
If you're open and honest with me, maybe that's it.
I kind of had a, you know, that was kind of a rambling of what I
think. But, you know, I think you are
both in both dug yourself a holeand it's not the same hole
(06:01):
either. And you kind of need to get
yourself out of that hole and hopefully maybe, you know,
rekindle this relationship. It sucks to hear and I'm sorry
that you know you're going through that and hopefully you
can get this figured out. I hope my advice is somewhat on
the right track. If it is, you know, I hope it
(06:23):
helps. And for everyone else watching
right now, please leave a comment and hopefully help her
through this. If you've ever been through
something similar, I'm sure she'll really appreciate it and
thank you so much for sharing. On to the next one.
Hey Snook, this is my confessionand if you want to Give your
(06:43):
opinion after, please do. I love your videos by the way.
I killed a man and got away withit.
I used to work night shifts in amaximum security prison, the
kind of place where these cells are concrete and steel and the
people inside them are locked down 23 hours a day.
If they're lucky, they get one hour in a cage to breathe fresh
air and see the stun like a dog in a kennel.
(07:06):
The rest of the time, darkness, rage, boredom and noise.
It changes people, and it changes the people who work
there too. Slowly, quietly, until you're
not the same either. This story is the night I
realized how far gone I really was.
We had an inmate. He was part of the Aryan
Brotherhood. White guy, covered in ink, dead
eyes, and a reputation for beingunpredictable.
(07:29):
That night he smoked some K2. If you've ever seen someone do
it, you know it doesn't take much to send them over the edge.
When the call came through the radio.
Then he was tweaking out. I was on my way, responding with
a Sergeant. We headed down to Sea House as
soon as we stepped in. I could tell.
Something was off. He was pacing fast, muttering
under his breath, muscles twitching like he was fighting
(07:50):
under his own skin. We ordered him to cuff up.
Nothing. Just stared through us like we
weren't even real. We hit him with OC spray.
Still nothing. More commands, more spray.
His face was soaked, but he didn't flinch.
Eventually, maybe out of confusion or exhaustion, he
complied. I don't really know why he
(08:10):
complied. Well, kind of enough for us to
get control and escort him to decontamination.
And that's when everything went to hell.
While we were rinsing him off, trying to get the spray out of
his eyes, he suddenly snapped. He mule kicked me in the chest
so hard I hit the towel floor like a sack of potatoes.
The impact knocked the breath out of me and for a second all I
(08:31):
could hear was ringing in my ears.
The Sergeant pulled his Taser and lit him up.
It should have dropped him, but it didn't.
It just enraged him and made himstronger.
We hit our emergency buttons fast. 2 sergeants ran him first,
then came more officers. What followed wasn't a scuffle,
it was a full on brawl with thisguy.
He slipped 1 cuff and turned feral head, butting one Co
(08:53):
punching another in the face, grabbing for anything he could
use. We all were bleeding, I was
bleeding from the back of the head.
He got tased four more times. Didn't matter.
His body was moving on pure adrenaline and whatever
chemicals were frying his brain.It took everything we had to get
him down. When we finally did, we stomped
them over and over, boots slamming into him just to keep
(09:17):
him down. It wasn't just restraint, it was
fear, fury, adrenaline. It was chaos.
And then finally it was over. He was unconscious when they
took him, rushed to an outside hospital.
Hours later we got word he didn't make it.
I was also taken to an outside hospital and had 11 staples in
the back of the head. My other officer had blood
(09:39):
coming from his nose and was treated for that in a broken
rib. We all had injuries to many to
list. To be honest with you, I
honestly expected investigationsreports were a real fallout.
But that's not what happened. The captain called a few of us
into the office and said flat out you did what you had to do.
That was it. No write ups for any of us, no
questions and no review. No cameras pulled.
(10:01):
It vanished, swept under the ruglike it never happened.
Except it did happen and it didn't vanish for me.
Since that night I've been wrecked.
PTSD, insomnia, nightmares that come so vivid I wake up gasping.
I see his eyes, I hear the boots.
I feel that cold blood on the back of my head.
(10:21):
I take medication just to sleep.I go to therapy once a week.
I walk around most days pretending I'm fine when I'm
barely hanging on. And yeah, I've got survivor's
guilt because I lived and he didn't.
Because even though I knew he was dangerous, even though I
know he could have killed one ofus, I still can't shake the
thought that maybe we went too far.
That may be in the middle of allthe chaos, something inside me
(10:43):
snap to something I can't get back.
People talk about working corrections like it's just
another job, but no one tells you what it does to your mind.
No one tells you that sometimes the worst monsters in the
building aren't the ones in the cells.
It's the things the job pulls out of you.
When you're pushed to the edge. I didn't just walk out of that
prison with a paycheck. I walked out with blood on my
(11:05):
hands and severe mental issues. I don't think I'll ever be able
to forgive myself. And wow, thank you so much for
sharing. And my advice right off the bat,
or just my thoughts is just in my mind.
I'm just like, why would you feel bad?
Your life was Dane in danger andyou're you had to fight back or
(11:26):
else, you know, he could have killed you.
But I realized that that's way easier said than experiencing it
and being the cause of someone'sdeath or being so close to
witnessing it. It's just, I can't even imagine
(11:46):
it. And so I can't just say, well,
you know, he could have killed you because of course he did.
But I don't know how that would affect me.
But I can't imagine how it affects you.
I mean, you just outlined it terrific.
And I, I, it seems horrible, butit's just, I'm glad you're
getting help. Like you said, you already have
(12:07):
therapy, you know, medication tohelp you sleep a little.
But if I had some advice and, you know, take this lightly, you
know, maybe getting a change of scenery could help.
If you can, maybe, you know, go on a nice vacation to the woods
or something with somebody, go with your friends, try to get
(12:28):
out of the, you know, kind of day-to-day grind that you
experienced before the incident and during the incident.
Because you, I think you really would need to kind of break that
cycle or else that mental cycle is going to keep happening of I
mean, I'm not saying that's insulin to make you not feel
bad, but I think it's going to remove you from the situation
(12:51):
that's so familiar. And if you get out, go somewhere
new, kind of get a whole new experience of everything, it'll
help take your mind off that slightly.
Keep going to therapy. You know, the medication will
help, I'm sure. But I think something like that
to kind of break the cycle of the mental, you know, just the
mental recurrences of, you know,going back to the same place
(13:13):
where that incident happened. I can't imagine the feeling, you
know, maybe do something like that.
I don't know if that's even valid advice, but that's just.
Kind of my thoughts on it. I'm sorry and I things will get
better, just take it a day at a time and I believe in you.
Anyone watching, please comment down below your thoughts and if
you've ever experienced something as horrific as that
(13:35):
and any sort of advice. Thank you so much for sharing.
I appreciate. It and on to the next one.
Hey Snook, my confession has been eating me alive.
I'm doing better now and I saw your videos on confessions and I
decided to put mine in. I hope to be in a video, but
even a e-mail back saying you read, I would be happy.
(13:57):
Hey, I don't really know how to start this, but I have to say
something. I owe it to a lot of people into
myself. My name is Diego.
I'm 17, and a few days ago I didsomething that I can't take
back, something that's been tearing me up inside.
I killed a puppy, not on purpose, but it happened and
(14:18):
it's my fault. It was my neighbor's dog.
Her name was Luna. She was this little golden
retriever puppy, like maybe fourmonths old, just full of energy,
always running around. When we were outside, I was
backing out of our driveway. I wasn't even going fast.
Music was on. I was in a hurry.
I didn't see her. I didn't even know she had
gotten out. And then I felt the bump.
(14:41):
I thought it was a rock. I stopped.
I got out and she was there. She was already gone.
I froze. I couldn't breathe.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
I just broke down right there inthe driveway.
I told my neighbor right away. I told my mom.
I've cried more in the past few days than I ever have in my
life. It was an accident, but that
(15:03):
doesn't make it OK. She trusted me, everyone did,
and I let them down. I keep replaying it in my head,
wondering what if I checked? What if I looked again?
What if I hadn't been rushing? I never saying sorry doesn't fix
this, but I am sorry from the bottom of my heart.
I would give anything to take itback to Luna.
(15:25):
I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve that.
You deserved a long happy life and I took that from you.
I don't expect forgiveness. I just wanted to tell the truth
and to say I will never ever letanything happen like this again.
Ever. Thank you for listening.
(15:45):
This isn't spooky or unsettling,it's just depressing.
I dated a guy for nine years, was married to him for two, then
left him for someone I met online and I regret it so much.
This guy was my best friend in high school.
I was immediately enamored with him when I saw him because he
was a shy dork and so was I. I actually left my high school
(16:06):
boyfriend to be with his friend,but that's a different story.
We dated for a long time and we're really happy.
We supported each other through college and experienced a lots
of up and downs. The happiest I've ever been was
when I was with him. Then the pandemic hit and we're
trapped inside together constantly.
I met someone online and fell inlove with them almost as much as
(16:26):
I left my husband. I even brought up the idea of
plamory to my husband but he wasn't into it.
He really wanted to work things out and we even tried couples
therapy but my dumbass thought this other guy was the one for
me. So I left my husband for this
other guy who moved to my state to be with me.
I'm still friends with my ex-husband and he's doing great
for himself. I'm so proud of him.
(16:48):
I've been doing worse since the split, but I'm currently working
on myself and therapy. I'm still with the other guy
whom I still love, but it's justnot the same love I had with my
ex-husband. It hurts sometimes to see my ex
doing so much better than I am, but I'm also really happy that
he is. He deserves to be happy.
My sister had a child recently and sometimes it pains me to
think about the child I could have shared with my ex.
(17:10):
He would have been a great dad. Hell, he would have been a great
uncle to this kid. Oh well.
Anyway, that's it. Hopefully this provides some
juicy drama to a video. I'm still trying to work on
myself as well as my ex does forhimself.
He's doing so great and again, I'm so proud of him.
(17:30):
I purposely killed a kitten. Hi Snook, I love listening to
your videos so please never stopdoing what you're doing.
Part of my grammar, English is not my first language.
I'd appreciate it if you kept meanonymous and place this story
in a Confessions video. I really want to get this off my
chest because I've been holding on to it for more than two years
at this point. I've never been diagnosed with
(17:52):
anything ADHDOCD, not even depression because I live in an
island where mental health is nothing more than a stupid thing
made-up by the younger generations.
During this time, I can't deny that my walls were crumbling and
really need someone to talk to, but I don't want to be labeled
as someone who's psychopathic because of this incident.
It's important to note that in this island we don't have any of
(18:13):
those big stores, Walmart, Home Depot, etcetera, so buying stuff
to take care of pets is considered a privilege.
We don't even have any kibbles or grooming tools.
People need to place orders and wait around a week to a month
just to ship out a delivery and get them across islands
surrounded by large masses of water with shipping fees worth
more than the actual order in a locals week long salary.
(18:35):
So you can imagine the amount ofstrays roaming the streets.
Also we don't have any shelters or veterinary clinics.
It's not unusual to see puppies or kittens in a Bush left behind
by either stray moms or locals who knew they wouldn't be able
to take care of any more pets. This was the reason I wanted to
become a vet, which is ironic considering the story's title.
(18:58):
As a kid, I've adored animals and always knew I wanted to
become someone who could help them.
But after this incident, I really don't know if my
conscience can take becoming a one anymore.
In school, some of my classmatesheard a faint meowing right
outside the exit door behind a small concrete fence.
We went to check it out and found a small kitten which
(19:18):
looked not even a week old, as if it was fresh out of its
mother's womb. All of us were shocked to see
this. That area was coming for snake
sidings. Yes, as dangerous as it sounds,
we still had to study in this kind of environment because we
had no other choice. We thought the mother would come
back. So we waited until last period
which ended around 5:00 PM and we would usually stay until dark
(19:39):
just because this was the only time of the day where you get to
probably hang out and chill their friends.
After that, we went to check whether the mother came back or
not. It hasn't.
It was just there, laying on thecold concrete ground, panicking.
They all entrusted me with the kitten since they knew how much
I loved animals. I didn't know what I was
thinking this time. I knew a kitten who was just
(20:00):
born wouldn't have a chance to survive without a mother's
warmth and milk. But still, I took it home and
even showed it to my parents, saying I took it in because I
was confident that it would survive in my hands if only I
had the chance to reverse everything.
I'd smack my own head just so the guilt would stop.
I prepared everything. It needed A warm and cozy place
to sleep with clothes I didn't use anymore, A flashlight to
(20:23):
use. When I needed to feed it a
syringe I borrowed from my neighbor to feed the warm milk I
made and paid close attention. During everything, I learned
that newborn kittens needed to be fed every two to three hours.
For the first week, I thought I had everything under control,
but then the meowing began. Oh, the meowing.
I wanted to tear my ears out just to make it stop.
(20:44):
It didn't help that we still hadclasses at 7:00 AM the next day.
I kept telling myself that for someone who wanted to become a
vet, you can't even handle a puny cat's cries for milk.
The syringe didn't have the needle at the end, so this made
it hard to feed the cat in. Ordering those silicone nipples
would take around a week to a month to arrive.
I was also a 15 year old just living off my allowance, which
(21:05):
in the US money was only $0.34. I knew taking it in was a
mistake, but I had forced it because I wanted to prove that
as a vet at heart I could make things work.
But after everything I snapped. I was not thinking straight when
this happened. I grabbed a piece of thick cloth
and with all my strength I pushed down.
(21:25):
I smothered the kitten with the intentions of suffocating and
killing it while it tried its best to meow and asked for me to
stop. A couple minutes of doing this,
I could hear it's me outgrowing fainter and fainter until
eventually it stopped. I'm a murderer, I thought.
I could not comprehend what justhappened during all of this.
(21:46):
My flashlight was behind me, casting this terrifying shadow,
and I swear I get to hear voicesscreaming at me, blaming me for
killing a poor innocent cat. I wish I could tell you that
this was the end, but after sitting there and slowly
realizing what I did, I looked at its body.
I saw a small gas for air. This poor kid was still fighting
(22:08):
to live. I wanted to get it out of its
misery. I took it outside in the dark
with my flashlight in my left hand, this kid in my right.
This was probably two or three in the morning where a stream of
water was waiting. I kneeled down and I placed it
in the water for the current to take it.
It wasn't curiosity that killed the cat, it was me.
(22:28):
Until now I'm still guilty of doing this, but I wanted a place
to confess of how horrible of a person I am.
I went back inside and went to bed crying that night.
In the morning I even lied and told everyone that the kitten
just couldn't make it through the night.
I hate myself so much snuck, butI choose to carry this skill as
a reminder that if is the snakescould have done the same, I
(22:49):
should have just let them do it instead of putting unnecessary
blood on my hands. To me, animals and humans.
Are the same. Not the humans are mammals type
of logic, but literally seeing them as mute humans.
So this incident to me felt likeI murdered someone.
Today me becoming a vet feels like a crime.
I hate myself for being so fucking dumb for doing something
(23:11):
so horrendous to a cat who was weaker, defenseless and had
nothing but it's meows to use against me.
I tell myself that whenever I see pets.
But around 8 months ago we foundanother stray.
I'd never do the same shit twiceand regret it all over again.
I found this one while she was around a month old and she's a
sweetheart. This is my way of repenting for
(23:32):
what I did and so far everything's been amazing.
I love her the same way I wishedI did for the first.
I'm getting into college soon and even though it still feels
like a crime to choose vet Med, it's the only way I can help
with the guilt. That's all Snook, if you ever
read this, thank you for taking your time and I hope you
continue this way of YouTube because you're seriously helping
people out there get these things off their chests.
(23:54):
I know this sounds nothing like the other stories you've read,
but to me, as someone who dreamed of saving animals from
the very start, I can never be forgiven.
Hey Snook, just want to start off with a little note letting
you know I love your videos and love listening to them in the
mornings. And same as everyone else, keep
me anonymous. A background on me is that I
(24:15):
collect and pin bugs. It's been a hobby of mine for a
very long time and I love teaching others about them.
I'm very confident in my identification skills and I got
too comfortable with myself. I am also high on the autism
spectrum, which is where this hyperfixation likely came from.
Recently I was at a site where Iwas near a threatened species.
(24:36):
I won't be saying what it is dueto the location areas this
species is. It isn't, however, it is a
species of butterfly. I was aware of the species and
what else was out there such as other types of flying friends.
I came across a butterfly slash moth, grabbed it gently in my
hands and snapped a Google lens.Photo to check if I was.
Right, that it was a certain type.
(24:56):
Google agreed with me, so I tookit, put it in a kill jar, and
went along with my process. It's not until a few moments ago
with me and my bad vision. Notice this particular pattern
only the threatened species has.I realized seconds later what
I'd done and how guilty I'd felt.
I was sure it was something else, but I was wrong and I feel
(25:17):
ashamed of it. I should have known that it must
have been the threatened speciesbecause it was on the land.
I don't want to tell anyone but my partner because I know I can
get in serious trouble. Just need to get off my chest
and out there to people who I know can't confront me for my
idiotic actions. I'm open to advice but I'm not
sure there's much I can do now about it.
(25:37):
If the species does go extinct. I've been advised to donate this
butterfly to a museum and I willdo so if this ever becomes the
case. All right, that's or just this
is a really unique confession, you know, never heard or read
anything like this before on thechannel.
So, you know, very unique. And I'm not sure how to even
(26:01):
approach this because, yeah, that's a, you know, you're,
you've got yourself in a unique predicament, you know, no one
else has really been in. But it was a mistake.
It seems like you didn't mean to, you know, kill this extinct
or you know, threatened species for your collection.
It seems like a true mistake andit really seems easy to do,
(26:24):
especially if there is a speciesthat's similar to that.
I don't know anything about bugs, but I can see how it's a
easy mistake. But then again, I would feel
horrible if this butterfly does go extinct and I know I
contributed to it, but that's just me and I really don't know.
Advice. This is kind of my thoughts on
(26:45):
this story, you know, advice. Maybe maybe just automatically
donated to the museum. I guess maybe you know, if you
can do some conservation effortsin that area to maybe help.
Out the butterfly poppies population I.
Really don't know or have any good advice to add.
I, I don't know if this is helpful to you at all and if
(27:08):
anyone watching this has any sort of, you know, unique
perspective or advice for them, you know, please comment down
below. But thank you so much for
sharing. Definitely unique and I'm sorry
I don't have great advice, but thank you.
And on to the next one. Confession.
I watched my mom die and I don'tknow how I'm still functioning.
(27:31):
Hi Snook, I want to start with this by saying thank you for
providing a space for people to get their deepest thoughts and
feelings off their chest. I often listen to your videos
while I work or drive, and many of them bring me to Sears.
They have also inspired me to finally speak about something I
haven't even talked to a therapist about yet.
About a year ago now, my mom wasdiagnosed with stage 4
(27:51):
pancreatic cancer. I don't mean to compare cancers
because all of them are bad, butpancreatic cancer is probably
one of the worst types a person could ever be diagnosed with.
It has a less than 13% five yearsurvival rate and even lower if
the cancer has already spread toother organs in the body.
With my mom being above the age of 60 at the time and being
(28:12):
stage 4, she had a less than 2% chance of surviving past five
years. When she was diagnosed, she was
given 6 to 12 months to live. I was devastated.
I was only 21 at the time, and my mom was my best friend.
She was a military veteran, having done over 20 years in the
Air Force and retired as a tech Sergeant.
(28:33):
Because of this, we thankfully didn't have to pay for anything,
for a treatment or hospital stay, nor for a funeral, but it
didn't really matter anyways. The cancer had spread to her
other organs, so surgery was notan option and due to various
other factors, chemotherapy is not working.
Her body was just too weak and she was in a lot of pain.
(28:54):
I wanted to keep trying to see if we can make it at least the
six month mark or at least untilmy birthday the next month in
September. But about a week before she
died, she made the decision to move herself to Hospice.
She only lived for three weeks after her date of diagnosis.
On the day she died, I sat by her bedside and held her hand as
I washed her fade away, watchingas her body shut down while the
(29:16):
cancer ate away at her organs. I never cried so hard in my
life. The one positive I have is that
the last thing we said to each other was I love you the night
before. She was already unresponsive by
the next day, so that was the last thing I ever heard from her
aside from watching her die right in front of me.
The hardest part was watching her body slowly waste away.
(29:36):
She went from a somewhat chubby woman, a little over 230 lbs
with no serious health complications even at her age,
to weighing just £150 in over a month.
She was the type of person to get up at 5:00 AM just to go on
a walk around the park. But the last two months or so
before she died, she could barely walk around the house
without a cane or needed to leanon things.
(29:57):
I dreaded watching her fall asleep because I was so.
Afraid she wouldn't wake up, Shedied just 10 days before my
birthday. And as if it couldn't possibly
get worse, my grandma died exactly 3 weeks later.
But my grandma was well into her90s and had a pretty serious
case of dementia, so me and my family were expecting her to
pass soon. We just didn't know it would be
(30:18):
so soon after my mom dying. Thankfully she passed peacefully
in her sleep without knowing shehad just lost one of her
daughters. And now to the main reason I'm
even writing this. I feel this strange sense of
guilt. Not because I think her death
was my fault or anything, I knowit wasn't, but because for some
reason my mom's death isn't affecting me like I thought it
(30:40):
would. Growing up my greatest fear was
my mom dying. I didn't think I could even go
on living if that happened. I convinced myself that I would
do be so devastated that I'd came myself if she ever did die.
And yet here I am, 10 months later, I'm functioning.
Greatly, in all honesty. I have friends that I smile and
laugh with. I have a boyfriend whom I love
(31:02):
dearly. And I love.
Spending time with my other family members.
And yet I still feel guilty, like her death should have
affected me far more than it did.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still sad about it.
I can't watch shows or movies that involve a character's
mother dying. I scroll past tik toks or reels
of someone fondly speaking abouttheir mother.
I have to force myself not to pay attention to Mother's Day
(31:24):
announcement everywhere. And sometimes I even feel
jealous of all my friends and family whose mothers are still
in their lives. My mom is my whole world.
I never went more than 12 hours without speaking to her in some
way, and I can find in her abouteverything.
I wanted to grow older like her and I've peacefully passed away
in her sleep like my grandma, but I watched her die when my
(31:46):
life was really just getting started.
And somehow, even though I neverfully said any of this to
anyone, I continue to live on happily.
Even Yes, there are frequent nights that I cry myself asleep
and sometimes I'll suddenly burst into tears if I get a
memory of her or if someone asksabout her.
Even now, I struggle to write this without crying, but even
(32:07):
still, I can say I'm happy the majority of the time.
The one year anniversary of her death is coming up, and I'm
afraid to face it. I've lasted this long, sure, but
what if something changes? What if it only takes until then
to break? What if I've just been barely
hanging on by a thread and I didn't even know it?
I won't know until that day happens, but I'll try to get my
(32:27):
head up high and to remain strong.
It's what my mom would have wanted, and that's really all I
want to say right now. I could say more, such as how I
think medical malpractice had a lot to do with us not knowing
about the cancer sooner, but I honestly don't care about that
anymore. My mom has already gone anyways
and I'd rather not get angry over a situation I'm already
(32:50):
fully saddened by. I apologize if this was long.
As I said before, I've never spoken about my feelings in such
detail to anyone, not even my dad and my boyfriend nor a
therapist, and I just wanted to say thank you, Snook for giving
me a space to get these feelingsout, as I've definitely been
keeping them bottled up all thistime.
As morbid and selfish as this sounds, one of the things that
(33:12):
keeps me going is knowing that Iwill never have to watch or hear
about my mom dying in a horribleor gruesome way.
I'll never have to experience mymom dying ever again because I
already lived through it. And if this makes it in the
video to anyone that is in a similar situation, just know
that you may be stronger than you think if they haven't passed
yet. Try to give your family a member
(33:33):
the most comfortable last days as possible.
Even now I still wish I would have told my mom I loved her
more even though I said that every day.
Show them as much love as you can because one day you won't be
able to. Thank you for reading and I hope
you have a better day than yesterday.
I killed a baby duck. Hey Snook, I'm a new watcher and
(33:56):
enjoy your anonymous confessionsand decided to try and get
something off my chest when I was younger.
In my teen years, about 15 to 16years old, me and my sibling
would always often go out from our apartment and walk around
the neighborhood. Hood we would frequently go to
the pool or have a stroll while taking the trash out, or even go
near our big pond that occasionally has ducks and other
(34:18):
creatures. There was a particular day where
me and my siblings stumbled upona mother duck who just had
babies and was caring for them. We would have sometimes try and
go touch the baby duck or get close but we would never do
anything like that until a certain day.
Me and my sibling went outside to go play basketball in one of
the small courts near the pond just for fun.
(34:40):
But on our way to enter the court, we saw the Mama duck, but
she was alone with only. One baby duck.
We were kind of worried, wondering what had happened to
the babies and actually looked around for them.
We eventually found them, but they had already passed away.
It had looked like some kind of animal I guess.
Ripped them to shreds. They had cats in our
neighborhood so it wasn't reallya shocker on what could have
(35:00):
killed them. Stupidly, I for some unknown
reason was so upset and assumed that the last living baby duck
wouldn't survive on its own. Now I want to clarify that I,
back in my younger years, was not doing so well mentally.
I was going through it quite a lot in those times.
It wasn't so right in the head. I have been and for many years
now still deeply regret my decision on this and wished I
(35:21):
could have stopped myself from ever doing this.
I do not accept these actions whatsoever and do not support
them. So when me and my siblings saw
that one baby duck was raining, I somehow managed to catch it
and me and my sibling held it and pet it.
The Mama duck however one in thepond and seemed to get a good
distance away from us after we managed to capture her last
baby. We were in the court playing and
(35:43):
petting it when all of a sudden I had the thought that this baby
duck would have died anyways, itwould never survive, and went on
impulse to take it and slam it onto the courtyard ground.
I'd done it a couple times to make sure it was dead and began
crying after that happened. I actually tried to bring it
back to life after that situation happened, but it made
(36:04):
things worse. My sibling tried to comfort me
and tell me it was OK, that it was just an accident.
I was tremendously horrified at what I'd done and was just
sitting in the court bawling my eyes out after the scene.
My sibling knew what had happened and wanted to assure me
that it would be OK if we could bury the baby duck and tell
nobody about it. Ever since that day I've
(36:25):
actually had gone self-control and impulses like that since I
had a history of herding animalsbut then feeling horrible and
crying afterwards. I have tried to accept the fact
that I cannot turn back time, but the guilt of all these
things I've done when I was younger hangs heavy and I deeply
feel remorse for the animals I have caused harm to and wish I
(36:46):
wasn't that way long ago. I am now 19, becoming the age of
20. I've gotten better as time went
on. Sorry for the long story.
Thanks for reading. I have murderous tendencies to
everyone I love. Hi Snook, as you read on the
title, this might be a little heavy.
(37:07):
I would like it if you could keep me anonymous, but I know
you'll do that anyways. If this gets featured in a video
it'd be much appreciated since Imaybe want others feedback too.
I'm also sorry if my writing is a bit choppy.
I am a transgender boy, female to male.
That is a bit relevant to this confession.
My parents are OK people. I'm not very close with my dad
(37:27):
but I still love him. The reason I'm not close with
him is because he's very bigotedand always says I'll burn in
hell for my actions. It took me a long long time to
get that out of my mindset. My mom is my favorite, and I do
most of the things in my life with her.
This doesn't make me not want tohurt her.
I think about it a lot, mostly at night.
I think about how satisfying it would feel to slit my dad's
(37:49):
throat and watch as he bleeds out on the floor.
I think about how good it would feel to get revenge for all the
terrible things he put me through for my mom.
I think about making art out of her body once I'm done with her,
carving her into something amazing.
I would never do any of this to them since I love them dearly
and can't imagine a world without them, but it doesn't
stop the thoughts from prevailing against all odds.
(38:09):
I feel very guilty for the way Ithink, but I can't help myself.
I don't have anyone to talk to and I've been to multiple mental
hospitals before for unrelated things.
I've had multiple attempts on mylife done by myself.
I have a SH addiction. Those are other things I want to
confess. All in all, thank you if you
read this confession. I'll understand if you don't put
(38:30):
it in a video and I really don'tthink you will.
I love watching your videos while I do other things.
And OK, I really think you should talk to somebody, a
therapist, a counselor, some sort, you know, it seems like
you have, you know, a lot going on and that's OK.
But it's not the best to, you know, carry it all by yourself,
(38:52):
especially thoughts like those, those are not positive thoughts
in the, you know, slightest. And so if you want, if you're
comfortable, I really feel like you should talk to somebody
about these thoughts and hopefully someone more
professional can get you on the right track.
You know, I, I believe you can get better, but from you, just
what you just outlined doesn't sound so great or positive.
(39:13):
So, you know, please talk to somebody.
It would help you so much. And hopefully this advice is
enough. If anyone else is watching and
been in a similar situation likethis, please comment down below
any sort of, you know, feedback or advice you've had for them.
I'm sure they would greatly greatly appreciate it.
(39:36):
Hi Snook, I listened to one of your confession videos and heard
about a user who had a terrible weed experience and thought I
would share mine as a cautionarytale.
About a year ago I'd take an interest in trying an edible and
had a great time with friends. Small dose of a few milligrams
and love the freedom it gave me from anxiety because I had a
positive experience. I would of course tried again,
(39:57):
this time with my partner trips it in.
The problem is. I completely misdosed and took a
lot more at once, something you should never do as someone new
to weed slash edibles, especially for my weight.
I'm a fairly thin woman. Everything was good until my
vision started to distort and I started screaming that I was
going to die. At this point everything began
to separate, like what I was seeing was a different reality
(40:19):
than my mind, and my thoughts felt as if they were repeating
in a constant loop. My partner not aware that I had
misdosed. Tried to do his best to calm me
down as I was either completely non responsive or screaming for
help as I was thoroughly convinced I was overdosing and
needed to go to the hospital. Looking back now it was clearly
a weed induced panic attack. We did end up going to the ER
(40:42):
where they gave me a strong anxiety slash sedative
medication and I woke up a day later almost completely fine
physically and mentally. Or so I thought.
That's where the second trip happened, due to my inflated
confidence that the same problemcould not happen again.
So I took. You know, a medium.
Dose this was the nail in the coffin as I would proceed to
(41:03):
have all of the problems I did last time, thoughts looping,
panic that something isn't right, disassociating as well as
the new fear that I was going toenter back.
Into the mental death spiral I had went into during my last bad
trip. This time, however, I would have
no medical sedatives to knock meout until the THC was out of my
system, which meant having to fight off from having a panic
(41:24):
attack for an entire day. While also fearing I was losing
my mind. I obviously came down but a part
of me was definitely lost after the second bad trip.
First, I now unlocked panic attacks which I had never had
now before despite my gadi get them at night, sometimes even
having them in my dreams. I'll usually send it around
losing my mind or feeling as if I'm losing my grasp on what is
(41:47):
real. Second, I've become very fearful
of those on drugs, including alcohol, which has been a bummer
for my partner as he does like an occasional drink. 3rd, I have
had disassociated phases almost everyday completely losing
myself and my surroundings for at least a couple minutes.
I feel so stupid letting this happen to myself as it was
entirely my fault that I misdosed and then chose to be a
(42:10):
fucking idiot the second time. It's been about a year now and I
still don't feel like my old self and I fear I have
legitimately traumatized myself all because of an edible.
I also feel guilty for the trauma I have caused for those
around me, especially my partneras he told me that he could
still hear my screams of genuinefear as I pleaded for my life
and my drugs state. While I have recovered mostly
(42:32):
from my initial trauma, it has made my anxiety so much worse
and I wish I could go back and never touch the stuff.
While this all seems dramatic, especially only for something
deemed tame like weed, it genuinely happened to me and
that drug can do way more damagethan people give it credit for
if misused. If you suffer from anxiety or
take SSR is please please do your research before trying to
(42:55):
take an edible or dabble in thissort of stuff.
I didn't and paid the price for making my otherwise happy life
worse permanently. Well, it was good that I found
out I shouldn't take drugs with something tame like THC.
It still has done irreversible damage to my psyche.
If you do drugs, please researchthe right dose, know your mental
stability, your medication and if it conflicts with the drug,
(43:17):
and be with trusted people or else you might pay like I did.
And thank you so much for sharing.
And weed in general is a very hot topic issue.
And I'd like to kind of share because, you know, I've had a
fair share of friends go throughthe same things.
I myself has never have never partaken in the consumption of
(43:39):
weed or edibles, but I have had many friends kind of go through
certain things similar to this. And I feel like people do not
give weed the respect it has andthey just treat it as something
frivolous. Like it's very light, it's a
light drug, but it really can mess with your head and cause
(44:00):
long lasting mental issues. It can, you know, stir up, you
know, hidden mental issues such as schizophrenia.
It can cause psychosis. I'm not anti weed, but I think
people really need to educate themselves before trying
something like it. You know, I don't care if you do
do it, but I if you are going todo it, please, please, you know,
(44:24):
educate yourself because if you are caught in a state like the
person who's just shared this confession, you might be caught
in a similar bus where they can really, really mess with your
psyche for a long, long time. And I'm can't remember this off
my top of the head, but I think,you know, for the person who
shared the story, if you're still listening, we'd when it
(44:48):
messes with your head, it will last a long time, but it's not
forever. So, you know, don't kind of get
into a negative spiral that, youknow, oh, I'm screwed up forever
because it's probably not. You might want to get a
therapist or someone to help getyou out of that mental kind of
jail, so to say, where you feel different.
You know, a lot of therapists specialized and stuff like that.
(45:11):
So I'm sure you can get help. It sucks, but yeah, everyone out
there, if you're watching, please do your research before
doing something similar to that.Because yeah, messing with your
psyche, messing with your mentalhealth, or messing with your
mental stability or just any of that stuff is not something to
tamber with in any way, shape orform.
So please, please do your research and be safe out there
(45:33):
on the next one. Hey Snook, please keep this
anonymous and feel free to censor what you need for
YouTube. I'll do my best to keep this
brief, but I've been a long timeviewer and while I normally
wouldn't bother you with such anoffbeat confession, but I met a
woman recently who said my storyhelped give her hope for the
(45:54):
future. So maybe someone else in your
audience will feel the same. Here it is.
I'm a 37 year old woman who has only fallen in love for the very
first time. Doesn't sound like much, but
women of my generation and my part of the world and probably
all others. But I don't want to speak to
what I don't know about, are told from a young age about the
power and importance of love we hear in every song seen in every
(46:17):
movie. And I was right up there with
all of the other girls playing Princess and getting all dolled
up to meet Prince Charming. For some context, I did grow up
in a pretty rough household. The examples of love that I knew
were people who would insult you, hit you, take every penny
you worked for, and then say I love you.
So once puberty hit I excitedly waited to get my first crush.
(46:38):
It was happening to all the other girls.
They would obsess about a boy inour class or a celebrity or even
a teacher sometimes and giggle and swoon like really young
girls do. They'd ask me who I liked and
sometimes I'd lie and say there was someone picking a random guy
we know. But honestly, I just never felt
it. There were a few guys who got
crushes on me and I accepted their offer for a few dates, but
(47:02):
it wouldn't last long because I didn't want to lead them on what
they could find someone who returned their feelings.
This led to a violent stalking incident that lasted most of my
teen years, but that's a story for another time.
It wasn't for a lack of socializing either.
Every summer I would have to go live with another family a few
towns over and help work at their business and help around
their house for room and board. I had three days off a week
(47:24):
where I could go party with the other teens and I was always
meeting new people, but even when they were nice or
attractive, I still didn't like them.
Eventually rumors started to spread that I must be a lesbian.
Rather than take this as an insult, it was intended to be no
offense to the LGBT community. My violent soccer was hoping
that the rumors would pressure me into trying to prove I'm not
(47:46):
and date him because in his mind, if I just gave him one
more chance, I'd seen how nice and awesome he is and fall in
love. I started to think maybe I was.
I hadn't any crushes on women either, but maybe I was in
denial or something and just hadto open myself up to the idea.
So when I moved out my late teens, I started going out with
both men and women. I think I may have even started
(48:09):
developing feelings for one of the women.
I've been seen for about a week.But then she revealed she had a
boyfriend and wanted all three of us to be together.
And I no doubt if I can't even develop feelings for one person,
it sure as hell wasn't going to happen with two.
At the same time. For years after, I threw myself
into my work, into video games, into drinking, and into
(48:29):
cultivating some deep and meaningful friendships.
I'd still go on a lot of dates, especially with the advent of
online dating and apps. But among my friends, it became
the running joke that I was the queen of first dates.
It was hard. I see why so many people settle
for a partner who they may not love.
As I left my 20s, I threw out any thoughts of having kids or
(48:51):
any kind of big white wedding. All my friends got married and I
was right there helping them plan, throwing the bachelorettes
and standing in their wedding parties.
I was a little jealous but always very happy for them.
As I got into my 30's, the dating scene got wild.
I'd regal my friends with tales of being catfished, getting
ghosted in some insanely awkwardmoments.
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I don't care how nervous you are, don't bring your mom to a
first date. I'd open my dating pool so wide
at that point that there was no consistency whatsoever.
People of all genders, shapes, sizes, personality types,
anything. If you had a fun profile and
weren't mean or a creep of the chat, then I'd be open to a
first date. I even went out with people I
didn't really have anything in common because who knows, if we
(49:36):
had a first fun date, maybe I'd find myself thinking about them
the next day. And maybe I finally catch those
feelings. Now this may all sound nuts, but
I'm not saying I'm a prize myself.
I've been rejected, slash dumpedfor all types of reasons, for my
personality, to my hobbies, to my looks.
But my main point is that even in the relationships where I
liked my partner as a person, asa friend, I've never cried when
(50:00):
it ended because I just didn't feel anything deeper than that.
And then I met him. I'm nearing the end of my 30's.
The Internet as a whole has beenscreaming at me that I've lost
most of my value at this point, and even my sisters are telling
me I should wait a few years until all the men have had their
kids and are divorcing their wives.
Nah, fuck that. I decide to keep rolling the
(50:22):
dice because the next day can't possibly get worse than the
last. I really didn't need him to list
off the reasons his ex was more physically attractive than me.
And when I tell you that persistence paid off, I didn't
just get lucky, I hid the jackpot.
We laughed all night. Not the nervous laughter of two
strangers hoping the alcohol hitsoon and can breathe normally
again, but genuine laughter. We talked about our lives, our
(50:44):
jobs, comic books, video games, workout routines, I mean
everything. And he was honest.
He looked like his pictures. He spoke intelligently about
these subjects he's listed beinginterested in.
He was honest about his employment and type of work.
All of it. It was all real in my heart.
To this day, almost exactly a year since we started dating,
(51:06):
still skips a beat when I talk about him.
What's amazing though, isn't just how I feel about him, but
also how he makes me feel about myself.
All the flaws within me that my family says makes me hard to
love, all the parts of my previous partners have tried to
change, and all the things aboutme that make my friends cringe
are all things he loves. It took a lot of lonely years, a
(51:27):
lot of self reflection, and a lot of not settling for someone
who wanted to change me to fit their ideal, but I did.
I found someone who I love, of everything about, and he loves
everything about me. No mass, no putting on airs, no
hiding flaws or farts. So for all those out there still
looking, still wading through the trenches of dating apps or
(51:48):
bars, for those facing down their ends of their teens, their
20s, or even their 30s, just know that it's not too late.
Your life has its own timeline, and just because it's taking you
a bit longer doesn't mean you'rebroken or incapable of love.
Just keep trying, stay safe, andremember that even if it's not a
great. Date.
It can at least make a good story to tell your forever
(52:09):
partner when you find them. When I was young, I made a
completely bogus call to the police that my sister was
hurting me, all just because I was mad at her.
It resulted in her being institutionalized for the
remainder of her junior year anda large portion of her senior
year in high school. She had some problems, but what
(52:30):
I detailed to the police was fully false.
Oh also, I once brought alcohol to school in disguise of a
coffee cup, did shots of 99 proof in the bathroom at school,
and I've done a line of booger sugar in the school bathroom.
Anyways, nothing too crazy to see here.
Bye. Confession.
(52:51):
I faked my disability for years.OK high snook.
First thing I want to say is I absolutely love your videos,
especially the confession ones. I watch them all the time
because they make me feel less alone.
I've been debating sending this in for a few days and finally
have the courage to do it. So to start off I'm a 22 year
old female. However, my story starts in my
freshman year of high school. Right before school started I
(53:13):
got the flu pretty bad. It made me physically exhausted
and overall just feel awful. I did recover before the first
day of school, but I used my recovery as an excuse to get out
of gym class. Originally I was planning on it
being a one time thing. The gym teacher actually
believed me and allowed me to sit out.
I really liked that I got away with it and it felt good and it
(53:35):
was easy. The next day I used the excuse
again and told my teacher my parents were going to take me to
the doctor to get things checkedout.
I ended up going through with itand told my parents that
something was wrong, so they took me to the doctor.
They obviously couldn't find anything wrong with me so I was
sent home. So I forged a note that
clarified my current condition. It said I was suffering A
(53:55):
neurological condition of some sort and again, surprisingly, my
teachers believed me. I got a sort of high from the
lie I was getting away with, so I continued to pull through with
this fake condition. I started putting effort into
fake limping. I really committed to that bit.
I did enough research to be ableto bullshit the people in my
life to make it look legit. Years have passed.
(54:17):
I'm in college now and still faking it.
Not because I want to avoid the activities, but because I feel
like I can't go back now. My parents have asked me more
than anyone else. I had them convinced it was some
sort of psychosomatic condition,something hard to explain
primarily so I didn't have to gotoo deep into anything.
But yeah, I've been having a lotof trouble recently trying to
(54:38):
keep up with it. I feel so guilty, but I'm so
caught up in this slide that I feel like I can't get out
without destroying my entire life.
Thank you for reading, if you do, any advice would be
appreciated. Thank you for the videos you
make Snook. Love them in a right.
It sounds like you've got yourself in a pickle.
You know, you've been faking this condition for years now,
(55:00):
and now you're in too deep. I don't know how many people
know about it, especially since this is college now.
But my question is just kind of like, why you did it?
But at this point, it's kind of just, you know, too late.
I mean, you could do. I'm just, I have two routes in
my mind. Number one, you pretend to get
(55:23):
better and you kind of make up alie that it solved and you're
all good. Or #2 you come clean about it to
everyone and be like, hey, I wasfaking it and this is the real
me, I'm actually fine. Or some sort of mix of the both.
But you know, please don't continue doing this.
I think it's just it's just silly and it's just going to
(55:46):
keep causing problems and you know, you're in too deep
already, but you don't want to continue doing this into work or
other sort of, you know, obligations in your future,
right life. So I really would, you know,
like to suggest to get out of this as soon as you can.
And I don't know how easy that is, and I don't know if you'll
even take my advice, but hopefully you listen to it and
(56:10):
hopefully you can kind of get your life back on track without,
you know, lying about a disability.
Anyways, thank you so much for sharing and all right guys, that
wraps up some crazy anonymous confessions.
Please let me know what you thought about this video down
below. Did you enjoy it?
Would you like to see more? And if you have a confession
you'd like to share, please e-mail it to the e-mail in my
(56:32):
description. I appreciate you watching it.
If you watch to the end of the video, you're awesome.
Please go check out some other videos on the channel.
I'm sure you'll like them. Please like the video and
subscribe to the channel. It helps more of you to know.
And yeah, that wraps up today's video.
Thank you so much for watching. And this is Snook, and we'll see
you next time. Bye.
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