July 25, 2025 • 31 mins
Reddit is an interesting place. From people falling in love with fake cockroaches to a dark spiral of addiction. In today's video we are getting into some of the most Deranged Reddit Users ever. I really enjoyed the research process of this video, it was super interesting, I hope you all enjoy the editing style, scripting, and pacing! Let me know what you think about it down below...
Edited by - @editedby_le on XSubscribe and like for more, thank you for watching, and stay safe...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
It's always starts the same a post with no up votes, a
username you've never seen, a wall of text you almost scroll
by, but something about it catches your eye.
Maybe it's the tone, maybe it's the way they talk like no one's
listening. You start reading, just out of
curiosity, and then it hits you.This isn't a rant.
(00:22):
It's not bait. It's the collapse of a person.
Quiet, personal, and disturbingly real.
There's something uniquely haunting about watching a person
come undone on a public forum. No edits, no hindsight, just raw
thought pouring out into the void.
Sometimes these people vanish, sometimes they go too far.
(00:43):
But they always leave something behind.
A thread, a trail, or a digital mark that makes you wonder what
the hell just happened. And in today's video, we are
getting into some deranged readyusers.
Not the kind that shout for attention, but the ones who
unravel so gradually you don't even realize how far they've
fallen until it's too late. And before we get into it,
(01:04):
please like and subscribe if youhaven't already.
It helps more than you know. Let's begin.
Spontaneous H. This one's about a Reddit user
who fell down a rabbit hole so deep it swallowed him whole.
In the wild part, he documented the entire thing on Reddit for
the whole world to see. It was created back in 2009, and
even in the earliest days there was just something off.
(01:27):
No casual posts, no memes, no hey, I'm new here.
Just one strange post that endedup being the first step in a
long descent into madness. The post read I did heroin
yesterday. I'm not a drug user and I've
never done anything besides pot back when I was a teen.
Ask me anything. This is a little long.
I've never been a drug user. I drink once in a while and
(01:47):
smoke pot years ago back when I was a teen in high school a few
times and that's it. I'm 24 now, have a master's and
a well paying full time job. Yesterday I was walking through
Washington Square Park where I pass every day and there are
always people there looking to sell drugs.
Not in the park anymore due to cameras, but it is well known
you can meet a dealer there and do the transaction elsewhere.
These days they usually don't solicit drugs to you unless you
(02:09):
stop to stand around near one ofthem for some reason or you look
like you're looking for something.
Yesterday I happened to stop by a row of benches to check some
messages on my phone when a dealer on the bench to my right
asked me if I need anything. My life has been pretty boring
the last few years and I feel like I haven't really lived,
taken any risks, or done anything crazy.
So I figured what the hell, maybe I'll buy some pot, it's
(02:32):
been a while. I said yeah and after asking me
several times if I'm a cop, he gives me his number and tells me
to meet him at a fast food placeseveral blocks away and he will
hook me up. I say all right and nervously
check to make sure I have cash and go meet the shady looking
dude. We sit down and after hounding
me asking if I'm a cop he asked what I need.
I tell him I just want a dime bag and he said something like
(02:53):
Nah sorry man I only sell half oz you can take that and I've
got some coke and H. At this point I didn't want to
buy half an ounce of pot. I probably never smoked more
than an eighth in my life. But then I started considering
his last word, heroin. I've heard so much about it and
how crazy addictive it is and seen it in the movies and TV.
I'm thinking The Wire here, one of my favorite shows, and it
(03:14):
really started to intrigue me. I've always wondered what it
would be like to do heroin. Out of nowhere I say I'll take
the H and we do the deal there. I give him the cash under the
table and he slides me a small order of fries with a little
stamped wax baggie in it. Then he tells me to let him
leave first. I put it in my pocket, then
nervously race home, my heart racing.
Cannot believe in what I just did.
(03:35):
I held onto that bag in my pocket pomp sweating the whole
ride home. When I get home I open the bag
and dump some golden flakes and powder on my glass coffee table.
At this point I don't even know what to do.
I know you can snort heroin but it looked all flaky so I try to
remember how they did it in the movies but they always seem to
inject it in film. So I start Googling how to snort
(03:55):
heroin like an idiot and do a little research on the stuff and
how much it take. I used a card to get it into a
fine powder and move a small bump to the side which I inhaled
through a dollar bill. I didn't feel anything yet so I
sorted a small line which is essentially half the bag.
There was very little inside. I waited and in a few minutes I
had the most pleasurable feelingof pure relaxation and bliss
(04:16):
watch over me. I just sat there and everything
felt amazing. I nodded off and it was great.
I had the TV on but wasn't paying attention.
I must have sat around for four hours doing nothing but feel
total pleasure. It was a full body orgasm times
10 that kept going on and on when I would not off.
It felt like I was in a pure conscious lucid dreamlike state.
(04:36):
Sometimes it felt like I was leaving my body.
At this point I did the rest of it and stayed up all night.
It must have been high for 10 hours straight.
I might have slept at one point.It's hard to tell the difference
when you not off and everything feels good regardless.
Just the feeling of being under a blanket was amazing.
I was blown away by the power ofthis drug and just how it has
make it felt. I never understood why people
did drugs before and got so hooked on them but now I see why
(04:59):
I have the urge to do it again but I will resist and not do it,
at least not for a long time. I understand the addiction
potential and now someone could easily tear pot their lives with
this stuff. Heroin is pure powdered
pleasure. I actually feel proud of myself
for having the balls to do something like this crazy and I
feel like it was a valuable lifeexperience in my window into
another world and part of society.
(05:20):
I will never forget the day I did heroin.
Now ask me anything at this point.
As you might have guessed, he had no idea what kind of path he
just stepped onto. For him, it was just a drug,
just another story to throw intothe Internet void.
And Reddit, yeah, Reddit eats that stuff up.
So in classic Reddit fashion, the post blew up within minutes.
(05:41):
The comments came flooding in. Questions, reactions, advice.
Everyone had something to say. And for a moment, it was like he
wasn't alone in it. What's crazy is people were
actually supporting him, cheering him on even.
Which, if you really stop and think about it, is kind of
insane. But then again, it's Reddit.
So this point, are we even surprised?
That thread slowly turned into asafe haven.
(06:03):
Addicts from all over started showing up, sharing their own
stories, connecting in the comments.
A user named Test 450 replied bysaying.
Just wanted to let you know you sound exactly like I did when I
first did dope. Same optimistic and sense of
self-control that us thrill seekers have.
Smart enough to rationalize and study exactly what was going on.
That was over $500,000 ago. I was a CIO and built a very
(06:27):
successful company while hiding track marks.
Eventually it all fell apart. I Od'd several times and now I
steal from my best friend and hate myself.
Spontaneous H replied by saying no offense here but I can't tell
if this post is trolling or sincere.
If it is sincere, my heart goes out to you.
People weren't just commenting, they were genuinely connecting.
(06:49):
One guy even popped in mid trip to join the conversation.
Which is kind of funny when you think about it.
Like imagine being so deep in a high that you decide right then
and there to hop on Reddit and chat about it.
Jason Dukes, I am on my 27th hour without no boy dog food,
Hollywood or whatever you want to call heroin.
I hate how I can taste my breathwithout the vapors of heroin in
it. My life is fucked.
(07:10):
I hate looking around me. Foif koi kiss my ass, all you
motherfuckers. So yeah, safe to say the whole
thread was a little unhinged, whereas the video title is
deranged. Eventually some people started
saying all things to SpontaneousH stuff like you're definitely
going to get addicted or you'll end up dead in a ditch.
Which, I mean, they weren't exactly wrong, they were trying
(07:31):
to steer them in the right direction.
But the way they said it, yeah, not great.
So to respond to all these comments, Spontaneous H decided
to update the post itself instead of replying to all of
them individually. Edit Please no more comments
telling me I'm going to be a homeless addict dying of an
overdose. Now don't lecture me with all of
your misconceptions and lack of any real knowledge or experience
(07:52):
about the drug. I understand if you know someone
who has been hurt by it, we all do.
Any drug can ruin lives. Please ask me questions instead
of trying to lecture me and do some research first before
spewing lies. Update 2 I don't regret this at
all and I see a lot of talk about how cocaine isn't as bad
as heroin and people telling anyone considering trying a hard
drug to do coke instead. I've known and seen a lot of
(08:15):
heavy coke users, many who have become addicted and OD and I
find it disturbing that people think coke is acceptable because
some higher class circles find it socially acceptable.
I'm thinking the young Wall Street's and college crowds here
who associate with money and being cool and is easily
manageable to use for recreationwhile society tells them that
heroin is very poor and destitute and leads to automatic
(08:37):
addiction and suffering. So I plan to try cocaine the
next chance I get and compare the two in terms of effects and
experience. Doing heroin was memorable and
life changing and I know I can handle anything once I've done
my research on coke and know therisks.
So if anyone has any questions or opinions on that matter, feel
free to chime in. Whether it is to tell me I'm a
fucking idiot or to give me advice, whatever.
(08:58):
This is an experiment and an adventure in life.
I'll report back once I try it. Yeah, he wasn't stopping, he was
doubling down. He had fully convinced himself
that he wouldn't get addicted toheroin and now, now he wanted to
try cocaine because in his mind he was untouchable.
Like addiction just wasn't something that could happen to
him and that's where he messed up.
(09:18):
It all came crashing down when only two weeks after the first
post, another post was made fromhis account.
Two weeks ago I tried heroin once for fun and MAID didn't ask
me anything. I've been using since and shot
up for the first time today. Ask me anything fucking.
I'm still withdrawing, throwing up and sweating out gallons of
sweat. I really want to use and relapse
right now. I know I shouldn't.
(09:40):
These urges are so strong and overpowering.
Please help me if you can beforeI get the chance to.
He was in a very bad place now and this, this is where the real
spiral began. 1000 comment update Fuck my life.
I wish I was trolling and this was all some elaborate lie.
I was doing everything right, have been clean and somehow a
rumor got out that I've been using and my girlfriend found
(10:02):
out and she basically broke up with me last night but is now
putting that decision on hold. I have some serious unrelated
business slash work I need to attend to in two hours and I
don't know if I'll be in any state to be able to and be
ready. I can't stop crying.
Fuck heroin, fuck my life. I guess I don't need to say that
since heroin pretty much fucked my life for me in under 2 weeks.
I just want to die NA Update Went to NAI, shared my story and
(10:26):
it seemed to hit a lot of people.
I cried. I got a lot of support and
numbers and felt like I'm in a good place and truly believe I
never have to use again. I will be going back.
Update hashtag whatever. I slept for about 30 hours,
sweat out my entire body and nowI feel OK.
I also took a shit for the firsttime in like a week which is
pretty awesome. I can stop this on my own.
I don't even think I need NA butI'm not ruling it out.
(10:48):
I've no craving or desire to do heroin.
I'm sure some of you will be quick to say I need real support
and maybe you're right, but right now I think I'll be OK.
New update I appreciate all the genuine concern and advice.
I finished my stash, bad idea but too late, threw out my
needles and I'm too faded to respond to comments for now.
When I sober up in a couple hours I'll check out some NA
(11:09):
meetings. Edit I nodded off after taking
another hit at 4:00 AM and couldn't be bothered to look at
this anymore and just woke up sore with a headache.
For those of you who think I'm atroll because I can do heroin
and type well with good grammar,fuck off.
It's not that hard if you type slowly and carefully without
looking at the screen. The screen is a blur and too
bright and it's challenging, butI'd rather post coherently than
(11:30):
like an idiot. I know it's hard to believe
someone dumb enough to do heroinis intelligent in other regards.
Comments disintegrated into mindless bandwagon accusations
of being a troll. I wanted to engage in a
discussion and know I need help and my mind isn't exactly right.
I'll sift through the post and respond to the genuine ones once
I feel better. For people calling fake, is this
proof enough for you? You want to see my track marks
(11:50):
too? They're not pretty and this is
under 24 hours after first shooting up.
I'm not proud of any of this andposted it here because I can't
tell anyone in my life and don'twant to keep it to myself.
I figured doing another ask me Anything would give me the
opportunity to talk about my issues anonymously and help
realize the extent of my problemthrough feedback.
The asshole saying this is all fake trolling can fuck
themselves. People can post about being
(12:12):
prostitutes and all sorts of things that harm a large number
of other people, but dismissed someone on the track to become
an addict who needs help and just wants to talk and maybe
help some other people for making the same mistakes.
I appreciate the people giving legitimate advice and asking
questions. I'm going to the next NA meeting
I can find. At this point it wasn't just the
addiction he was fighting, he was also dealing with a swarm of
(12:33):
Internet trolls. Documenting everything online
might have seemed like a good idea at first, but it ended up
making things worse for him. Sure a few people were still
trying to help, but most of the replies just people clowning on
him, calling him a junkie, tearing him down.
And in this next update you could really feel it.
He admitted how hard it was all get in, mentally, physically,
(12:55):
everything. It wasn't just about the drugs
anymore, he was breaking down. I know there will be a lot of
people telling me I told you so and urging me to seek help and
they are right. That's all good and trust me I
know the danger I am and have ruined in my life and let's
please keep this as an AMA firstand foremost.
I'll be checking out NA meeting this week and I know I'm on the
fast track to becoming an addictand I want to stop it before it
(13:17):
gets out of control and I'm physically addicted.
No one in my life can know aboutthis and I want to stop before
it's too late. I've been using for two to three
day periods, then taking a couple days off, then using
again. The brakes were in part to try
not to get hooked, and in part because I had an unreliable
dealer who charged me more than double what I should be paying.
I got ripped off several times when I tried to buy it off the
street. My former dealer is the guy who
(13:39):
I first bought from. Today I met a guy through some
Internet channels who said he could get bundles 10 small bags
of heroin for significantly lessthan half the price my old
dealer gave me on his most fair deal.
He also happened to be an IV user and had a stash of sealed
needles and supplies and offeredto shoot me up.
I had kind of hoped I would findsomeone who would, and he was a
pro finding my small hidden veins and injecting a bag in one
(14:02):
shot. To quote Trainspotting, take the
best as in we've ever had, multiply it by 1000 and you're
still nowhere near it. He gave me some new needles and
tourniquets, and when I got homeI tried to do it to myself.
After not hitting the vein countless times, I finally got a
red flag and was good to go. I've injected 5 bags in 4:00 PM,
the last one a little less an hour ago, and I'm tempted to do
(14:22):
one more. Ask me anything.
Forgive me for any delays if I'mnot off.
Then a user who claimed to be anIV user jumped on the thread to
make the dread even worse for him by dropping a comprehensive
list of what spontaneous H had coming.
Oh dear. I'm an IV morphine addict, so I
know where you're coming from. In my opinion, there's no going
back now. You're going to be in for one
(14:42):
hell of a ride. So you found heroin.
You know you like it. Hell, you love it.
Like the chase, like the catch, like the high.
Opiates are like kissing God, and once you've tried them,
there's no going back. If you don't clean up now or
clean up soon, within a month, this is what you can expect.
After a few days of continuous use you'll become physically
(15:04):
dependent. The withdrawals from opiates are
like the high but turned inside out.
Imagine how much pleasure you get when you push the plunger
all the way down and you feel the smack hit your brain and you
just melt. Now turn it inside out.
You can expect to be pissing outyour ass, freezing cold, yawning
non-stop. Drippy nose muscles and bones
feel like they're breaking and spontaneously combusting.
(15:26):
No sleep, severe depression and ideas, the best word.
The list goes on. 2nd, be prepared to lose everything that
you have. You will lose your job, your
family, your friends, your possessions, your apartment,
everything. The longer you keep going, the
more you lose. Eventually, once you've lost all
your possessions in the physicalrealm, then the smack will take
(15:47):
your soul with it. The list just goes on and on and
honestly it's hard to read. It's heavy, depressing, and just
hard to take in. This guy wasn't there to
sugarcoat anything. He wasn't pretending to be
supportive just for the sake of it.
He wanted spontaneous age, to see how dark of a path he was
on, to snap out of it before it got even worse.
Thanks for the response. I'm learning how hard this is
(16:08):
more and more every moment. I haven't used since I said I
stopped, yet things seem to keepgetting worse.
I want to die. Just staying alive to go to
meetings is enough of a challenge.
I can't handle work right now. My romantic life is going to
shit and I'm trying to salvage it.
I can't deal with education now.It seems everything has
completely deteriorated. Then for a while he went ghost.
(16:30):
Some people thought that the worst had happened and he'd
fallen even deeper into the spiral and went off the grid, or
worse, something terrible had happened to him.
However, later he came back withanother post.
I tried heroin a month ago made and asked me anything.
Got addicted and started injecting and just started
suboxone treatment. Ask me anything, but this post
(16:51):
didn't go as planned because half of the thread was filled
with people calling him a liar, despite the fact that he
literally posted a picture of a stash with needles in his Last
Post. After that post flopped,
spontaneous age just disappeared.
No updates, no replies, nothing.He was completely off the grid
and no one knew what happened. For a whole year, the account
(17:11):
had no update. However, he came back with an
update and just as everyone had expected, things were not good.
Ask me Anything patient in a psychiatric hospital.
I was also technically dead lastweek.
Ask me anything. I am in one of the nation's
finest hospitals and get Internet access in 30 minute
intervals before having to restart my browsing session,
(17:33):
which is kind of annoying along with the pesky web filter.
I'll be very grateful if anyone can help me get around it.
All proxies I have tried are blocked.
If you're reading this and know me, you probably already know
who I am. Ask me anything.
I had it. I can't believe it has been over
one year since I discovered heroin and did the Ask me
anything's on here after first trying it and several months
(17:53):
later. Time flies when you're an
addict. At this point it was clear his
whole life had completely fallenapart.
It was wild to think about because at the very start of the
story he was so sure, so confident he wouldn't get
addicted. What followed was a full blown
spiral. The full definition of a spiral,
one that wrecked his life and dragged him into some of the
(18:15):
darkest places a person can go. And just like that, he vanished
again. And after 7 long years, he came
back. Just one post, One final update
to say he was alive, and this time he was actually doing OK.
Spontaneous age 7 years later. Update for anyone who stumbles
(18:36):
upon this account in the future.I don't know if anyone here
remembers me, but you can look through my submissions history
and get an idea. It's not pretty and will take
you through a journey of my first time trying heroin to my
life quickly falling apart. So take that as a warning.
It's graphic. I was totally out of my mind and
you may not want to read it depending on where you're at.
(18:58):
This is the first time I've logged into this account in a
couple years, and I had a bunch of PMS and people occasionally
mentioned this account in various places on Reddit, so
I'll post a quick update here for anyone who stumbles upon
this in the future. I'm now almost six years clean
from all drugs and alcohol and life is good.
It's too difficult for me to go back and even read most of what
I originally wrote seven years ago.
Maybe one day I'll be able to. I don't even remember what I
(19:21):
said in the first post, but I know I can look back objectively
and say that things probably weren't as good and normal
before I tried heroin that time,as I made it seem in that first
post. There were certainly warning
signs before that with alcohol, weed, and other things that I
had issues with substances, although I probably couldn't
admit it to myself at that time.I would have never even tried it
(19:42):
if things were truly going well for me.
What followed in the later post with where it took me was very
real. Thanks for everyone who's
reached out over the years. I hope everyone here is able to
find recovery and get the help they need.
Incredibly shiny shark. Now, this story's a little
shorter, but I had to include inthe video because it gives you a
(20:02):
glimpse into just how wild the human mind can really be.
Hi all. I'm a man who ate a portion of
his own amputated leg. Ask me anything.
Yeah, he ate his own leg. And the craziest part is that he
was so chill about it. So the quick and dirty.
About two years ago I was hit onmy motorcycle.
They salvage my foot, but I was never able to walk on it.
(20:23):
I like to dive it amputated. I asked the doctors to keep it.
I signed some papers, not a big deal.
Before this post, he had made another post showing an X-ray of
his foot, which was completely destroyed because of the
accident. Oh man, I saw we were doing
X-rays. Here's mine.
So yeah, after the surgery, he actually got his amputated foot
back from the doctors. And I don't know what was going
through his head, but he decidedhe was going to cook it and eat
(20:47):
it. I got it back with the help of
some friends, cooked a portion of the tip, Elias anterior.
And then came the proof, becauselet's be real, there's no way
anyone was going to believe them.
So in classic Reddit fashion, heattached some pictures to the
post. And I'm not going to do that
because that is disgusting. I'm not going to include the
pictures because that's beyond gross.
Edit I taste like Buffalo but chewier, super beefy and little
(21:11):
fat. So obviously Reddit had
questions. 1 user, Rickley Picley jumped in and asked.
Did eating your own flesh ethically or morally bother you
then or now? And how about your friends that
also tried it? To which incredibly shiny Shark
replied by saying no, it was from a healthy part of the
amputation. I'm a healthy person.
(21:31):
Waste not, want not. And they all consented as far as
I know. They are all so cool with it.
It's a fun, weird thing. This guy ate his own leg or foot
and acted like he just made dinner for the boys.
And yeah, that sounds crazy. But for some people, life has
been so weird and so messed up that nothing shocks them
anymore. So yeah, legend, but in the most
deranged and unhinged way, I love Roach.
(21:56):
All right, so as the username suggests, this guy really loved
roaches. Like, really love them.
The post came eleven years ago from I Love Roach in the Today I
Fucked Up subreddit, and I'm just going to say it upfront.
Trigger warning because this story goes off the rails fast.
Today I fucked up by admitting to my girlfriend that I pretend
that she is a giant cockroach when we have sex.
(22:17):
Ever since I was a teenager, I've had very intense fantasies
about having sex with a giant Roach.
It started in 9th or 10th grade when we read The Metamorphosis
by Franz Kafka. As I started to think more and
more about the Roach creature that the character I'd become, I
started to imagine what it'd be like if a woman turned into the
Roach instead. I found this idea very rousing.
I would not be repulsed or frightened of her as the
(22:40):
characters in the story are. I'll take care of her.
Then my thoughts started to get sexual with the character.
Eventually I sort of dropped thebit about her having been a
human woman 1st, and I kind of imagine this fictionalized Roach
species. They're giant roaches the size
of a person and have complete intelligence.
A kind of overtime conjured up an imaginary friend of sorts.
(23:01):
She was one of these roaches andher name was Agatha.
I'd fantasize about her often. And then he just went on this
weird rant drooling over how Agatha was better than actual
women. Like fully convinced she was
superior in every way. It was disturbing to say the
least. But then the post takes a very
deep turn. He reveals something big.
So anyways, I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend
(23:23):
for about a year. 3 or 4 times Ihave tried to have sex with her
and not pretend she's Agatha, but I just can't do it.
So essentially every time we have sex I am imagining she's
Agatha and I finally confined this to her the other day and I
was blown away by reaction. I thought she might take it a
bit badly at first, but then she'd get used to it.
No, I've never seen such a look of disgust before.
(23:44):
Outraged is not an understatement.
She is not even returning my text now.
I'm afraid she's going to break up with me and also that is
going to tell people about Agha.I don't know how I'll face
anyone. This is going to sound silly but
I also feel guilty about feelingshame.
As if Agha will be saddened by this even though I know she's
imaginary. I just don't know what to do at
this point now. I genuinely don't know what this
(24:07):
guy was thinking. The comments under this thread
were hilarious. Five years after that first
post, he came back again, and this time he revealed that after
fumbling his real life girlfriend because of his
imaginary Roach girlfriend, he'dalso managed to fumble pretty
much everything else too. Today I fucked up by admitting
to my coworkers that my wife Agtha is an imaginary giant
(24:30):
Roach. An update of sorts to my prior
today I fucked up from five years ago.
Hello. Five years ago I submitted the
story of me telling my then girlfriend that when we made
love, I was envisioning her as agiant Roach.
In the five years that have passed since this topic is
posted, I decided to stop fooling myself and I just
committed to my love to Agtha. I know she is not real per SE,
(24:50):
but in my head she is an actual personality and I am in love
with that personality. I don't care if she has a Roach
or if she's an imaginary. The love is real.
Call me deluded, but it's harmless.
It makes me happy. I've not had a real girlfriend
again since that incident five years ago, but occasionally I've
had one night stands via online apps with the understanding of
it being one night in advance. Around these times, I always
(25:12):
envisioned the woman is Agatha, my sensual Roach queen.
Yeah, I'm not, you know, kink shaming or anything, but he's
basically gone off the rails. The thing about it, though, is
that I became so in love with myAgatha that I married her.
I even did a little ceremony in my living room.
I recited my own vows, and she recited hers.
I even went on a honeymoon, which technically you could say
(25:33):
was a solo vacation to New Orleans for a week.
But in my mind, Agatha was with me the entire time.
In my mind I think of her as my wife.
Now here's where I fucked up. I got so used to thinking of her
as my wife in my head that a fewmonths ago at work I
nonchalantly said my wife in some innocuous sentence.
I think it was something like Ohyeah me and my wife loved that
(25:53):
show in regards to Chopped. So now everyone was asking me
about my wife because they had never heard I was married or
even dating anymore. Everyone kept pestering me,
wanting to know about her, wanting to see pictures.
I became full of panic. I did the one thing I swore I
would never do again. I talked to other people about
Agfa in real life. We're at that team lunch and I
(26:14):
just let it all spill out. I told them about how I became
enamored as a teenager with the Franz Kafka story, how my
fantasy evolved into an actual imaginary entity with a
personality, and how I slowly began to grow in love with her.
What started as a more sexual attraction to giant roaches
blossomed into a whirlwind romance, and that she became the
love of my life, even though herexistence was in my own mind.
(26:35):
At first they thought I was doing a creepy joke, but I
convinced them I was telling thetruth.
Well, they were afraid and disgusted.
I've been a pariah at work ever since.
Everybody steers clear of me. We used to have a good social
life. Now people only speak to me for
work related reasons. Even working virtually now,
nobody sends me a slack message unless it is about work.
I even heard a rumor that peoplewent to HR, but they were of
(26:57):
course told nothing could be done.
I've lost my good work friends because of this and is indeed
jeopardized my career because mybosses think I'm insane.
I've ruined my friendships and future career prospects due to
my honesty. If you must know.
I do hope that even if I'm an old man, that one day the
technology is invented to extract the Agatha personality
from my mind and implant it intoa real external body, either of
(27:20):
a genetically engineered or a mechanical nature, and me and
Agatha can then experience genuine physical connection.
But if she must remain within me, that is fine.
Her love keeps me warm on the coldest of nights.
Thank you. I still can't quite pin down
what was actually wrong with this guy.
There were clearly multiple things going on, and from the
(27:41):
way he wrote you could tell he'dconsumed way too much cinema.
In literature he kept throwing in references to movies, books,
and even obscure characters likehe was living in some alternate
storyline he had made-up in his head.
But Nope, the story does not endthere.
Just a year later, he came back to write it again, and after
already ruining his social life,love life, and basically
(28:01):
everything else, he had somehow managed to mess things up even
more. This time, he revealed Agha to
his parents. Today I fucked up.
I tell my parents that I'm married to an imaginary giant
Roach, my beloved Agha. A few of you may recall some
years ago, I posted about my lovely Agha you can find in my
post history. My new story requires an
explanation of Agha. For those who don't know, I'll
(28:24):
try to be brief. I love Agha and she loves me.
Some time ago, I married her. Now, from a strictly legal
sense, no, I'm not married per SE.
But for me and Agha, we considerour relationship to be a
marriage. I am devoted to her and her to
me. I revealed this to my coworkers
and it did not go well, but I thought my parents had a right
to know. Last evening I revealed to them
(28:45):
everything about Agha and told them we were married.
I even allowed Agha to speak through me to them so that she
could finally meet my parents after only seeing them from
afar. Lady Collie wobbles out of all
the absolute burning questions Ihave.
When he allowed Octa to speak through him to them.
Did she speak in human or like clicking noises or whatever
sounds a cockroach makes? I can't sleep.
(29:07):
I knew my parents would find it unusual at first, but I thought
they would come to understand and be happy for me.
However, and I fear they may think I am deranged, my mother
actually cried and not tears of happiness as I expected.
They even encouraged me to see counseling and I explained to
them what I was experiencing is real and encouraged them to read
through the tulpa Reddit. It had created a very bad
(29:29):
situation for me and now I feel my relationship with my parents
is quite ruined. They keep insisting I see
counseling and are threatening if I don't.
It will no longer assist with mystudent loans and will not be
welcome at Thanksgiving. I feel they are overreacting,
but at the same time I wish I'd just kept my marriage a secret.
I do consider it now to be fucked up to be truthful to my
(29:49):
parents. They are in some ways
traditionalists and are simply not ready to understand how
entities can exist without physical form and share a mind.
It breaks my hearts, but I wish I'd been deceitful with my
family. For the record, I will never
divorce Agatha, and with our love I know I can survive
anything. But I wish I had never been
truthful with my parents. That ended up being the Last
(30:10):
Post we ever got from the account.
After that, Reddit suspended it.Which honestly, you know, makes
sense. The whole situation was just
deeply deranged. This was someone clearly
struggling with serious mental issues and whatever line
separates reality from fiction, Yeah, for him that line was long
gone. We don't know where he is now,
whether he's still with Agha or if he finally got help, but
(30:34):
wherever he is, I genuinely hopehe's doing better, even if he
did traumatize the entire Redditcommunity for like 11 straight
years. All right, guys, that wraps up
some deranged Reddit users. Let me know what you thought
about these ones. I mean, the first one, the
heroin user, was very, very, youknow, impactful, sad,
depressing. And the last one was, you know,
(30:56):
still kind of similar, but a little bit more.
I don't know, it was very strange.
I think these were very derangedusers and that kind of perfectly
sums up today's video. It was deranged and the video
titled deranged ready users. I hope you enjoyed comment down
below your thoughts. I read every single comment.
Please like the video and subscribe to the channel.
It helps more than you know. Thank you so much for watching
(31:16):
the channel. Go check out another video.
If enjoyed this one and this wasSnook and I'll see you next
time, bye.
It's always starts the same a post with no up votes, a
username you've never seen, a wall of text you almost scroll
by, but something about it catches your eye.
Maybe it's the tone, maybe it's the way they talk like no one's
listening. You start reading, just out of
curiosity, and then it hits you.This isn't a rant.
(00:22):
It's not bait. It's the collapse of a person.
Quiet, personal, and disturbingly real.
There's something uniquely haunting about watching a person
come undone on a public forum. No edits, no hindsight, just raw
thought pouring out into the void.
Sometimes these people vanish, sometimes they go too far.
(00:43):
But they always leave something behind.
A thread, a trail, or a digital mark that makes you wonder what
the hell just happened. And in today's video, we are
getting into some deranged readyusers.
Not the kind that shout for attention, but the ones who
unravel so gradually you don't even realize how far they've
fallen until it's too late. And before we get into it,
(01:04):
please like and subscribe if youhaven't already.
It helps more than you know. Let's begin.
Spontaneous H. This one's about a Reddit user
who fell down a rabbit hole so deep it swallowed him whole.
In the wild part, he documented the entire thing on Reddit for
the whole world to see. It was created back in 2009, and
even in the earliest days there was just something off.
(01:27):
No casual posts, no memes, no hey, I'm new here.
Just one strange post that endedup being the first step in a
long descent into madness. The post read I did heroin
yesterday. I'm not a drug user and I've
never done anything besides pot back when I was a teen.
Ask me anything. This is a little long.
I've never been a drug user. I drink once in a while and
(01:47):
smoke pot years ago back when I was a teen in high school a few
times and that's it. I'm 24 now, have a master's and
a well paying full time job. Yesterday I was walking through
Washington Square Park where I pass every day and there are
always people there looking to sell drugs.
Not in the park anymore due to cameras, but it is well known
you can meet a dealer there and do the transaction elsewhere.
These days they usually don't solicit drugs to you unless you
(02:09):
stop to stand around near one ofthem for some reason or you look
like you're looking for something.
Yesterday I happened to stop by a row of benches to check some
messages on my phone when a dealer on the bench to my right
asked me if I need anything. My life has been pretty boring
the last few years and I feel like I haven't really lived,
taken any risks, or done anything crazy.
So I figured what the hell, maybe I'll buy some pot, it's
(02:32):
been a while. I said yeah and after asking me
several times if I'm a cop, he gives me his number and tells me
to meet him at a fast food placeseveral blocks away and he will
hook me up. I say all right and nervously
check to make sure I have cash and go meet the shady looking
dude. We sit down and after hounding
me asking if I'm a cop he asked what I need.
I tell him I just want a dime bag and he said something like
(02:53):
Nah sorry man I only sell half oz you can take that and I've
got some coke and H. At this point I didn't want to
buy half an ounce of pot. I probably never smoked more
than an eighth in my life. But then I started considering
his last word, heroin. I've heard so much about it and
how crazy addictive it is and seen it in the movies and TV.
I'm thinking The Wire here, one of my favorite shows, and it
(03:14):
really started to intrigue me. I've always wondered what it
would be like to do heroin. Out of nowhere I say I'll take
the H and we do the deal there. I give him the cash under the
table and he slides me a small order of fries with a little
stamped wax baggie in it. Then he tells me to let him
leave first. I put it in my pocket, then
nervously race home, my heart racing.
Cannot believe in what I just did.
(03:35):
I held onto that bag in my pocket pomp sweating the whole
ride home. When I get home I open the bag
and dump some golden flakes and powder on my glass coffee table.
At this point I don't even know what to do.
I know you can snort heroin but it looked all flaky so I try to
remember how they did it in the movies but they always seem to
inject it in film. So I start Googling how to snort
(03:55):
heroin like an idiot and do a little research on the stuff and
how much it take. I used a card to get it into a
fine powder and move a small bump to the side which I inhaled
through a dollar bill. I didn't feel anything yet so I
sorted a small line which is essentially half the bag.
There was very little inside. I waited and in a few minutes I
had the most pleasurable feelingof pure relaxation and bliss
(04:16):
watch over me. I just sat there and everything
felt amazing. I nodded off and it was great.
I had the TV on but wasn't paying attention.
I must have sat around for four hours doing nothing but feel
total pleasure. It was a full body orgasm times
10 that kept going on and on when I would not off.
It felt like I was in a pure conscious lucid dreamlike state.
(04:36):
Sometimes it felt like I was leaving my body.
At this point I did the rest of it and stayed up all night.
It must have been high for 10 hours straight.
I might have slept at one point.It's hard to tell the difference
when you not off and everything feels good regardless.
Just the feeling of being under a blanket was amazing.
I was blown away by the power ofthis drug and just how it has
make it felt. I never understood why people
did drugs before and got so hooked on them but now I see why
(04:59):
I have the urge to do it again but I will resist and not do it,
at least not for a long time. I understand the addiction
potential and now someone could easily tear pot their lives with
this stuff. Heroin is pure powdered
pleasure. I actually feel proud of myself
for having the balls to do something like this crazy and I
feel like it was a valuable lifeexperience in my window into
another world and part of society.
(05:20):
I will never forget the day I did heroin.
Now ask me anything at this point.
As you might have guessed, he had no idea what kind of path he
just stepped onto. For him, it was just a drug,
just another story to throw intothe Internet void.
And Reddit, yeah, Reddit eats that stuff up.
So in classic Reddit fashion, the post blew up within minutes.
(05:41):
The comments came flooding in. Questions, reactions, advice.
Everyone had something to say. And for a moment, it was like he
wasn't alone in it. What's crazy is people were
actually supporting him, cheering him on even.
Which, if you really stop and think about it, is kind of
insane. But then again, it's Reddit.
So this point, are we even surprised?
That thread slowly turned into asafe haven.
(06:03):
Addicts from all over started showing up, sharing their own
stories, connecting in the comments.
A user named Test 450 replied bysaying.
Just wanted to let you know you sound exactly like I did when I
first did dope. Same optimistic and sense of
self-control that us thrill seekers have.
Smart enough to rationalize and study exactly what was going on.
That was over $500,000 ago. I was a CIO and built a very
(06:27):
successful company while hiding track marks.
Eventually it all fell apart. I Od'd several times and now I
steal from my best friend and hate myself.
Spontaneous H replied by saying no offense here but I can't tell
if this post is trolling or sincere.
If it is sincere, my heart goes out to you.
People weren't just commenting, they were genuinely connecting.
(06:49):
One guy even popped in mid trip to join the conversation.
Which is kind of funny when you think about it.
Like imagine being so deep in a high that you decide right then
and there to hop on Reddit and chat about it.
Jason Dukes, I am on my 27th hour without no boy dog food,
Hollywood or whatever you want to call heroin.
I hate how I can taste my breathwithout the vapors of heroin in
it. My life is fucked.
(07:10):
I hate looking around me. Foif koi kiss my ass, all you
motherfuckers. So yeah, safe to say the whole
thread was a little unhinged, whereas the video title is
deranged. Eventually some people started
saying all things to SpontaneousH stuff like you're definitely
going to get addicted or you'll end up dead in a ditch.
Which, I mean, they weren't exactly wrong, they were trying
(07:31):
to steer them in the right direction.
But the way they said it, yeah, not great.
So to respond to all these comments, Spontaneous H decided
to update the post itself instead of replying to all of
them individually. Edit Please no more comments
telling me I'm going to be a homeless addict dying of an
overdose. Now don't lecture me with all of
your misconceptions and lack of any real knowledge or experience
(07:52):
about the drug. I understand if you know someone
who has been hurt by it, we all do.
Any drug can ruin lives. Please ask me questions instead
of trying to lecture me and do some research first before
spewing lies. Update 2 I don't regret this at
all and I see a lot of talk about how cocaine isn't as bad
as heroin and people telling anyone considering trying a hard
drug to do coke instead. I've known and seen a lot of
(08:15):
heavy coke users, many who have become addicted and OD and I
find it disturbing that people think coke is acceptable because
some higher class circles find it socially acceptable.
I'm thinking the young Wall Street's and college crowds here
who associate with money and being cool and is easily
manageable to use for recreationwhile society tells them that
heroin is very poor and destitute and leads to automatic
(08:37):
addiction and suffering. So I plan to try cocaine the
next chance I get and compare the two in terms of effects and
experience. Doing heroin was memorable and
life changing and I know I can handle anything once I've done
my research on coke and know therisks.
So if anyone has any questions or opinions on that matter, feel
free to chime in. Whether it is to tell me I'm a
fucking idiot or to give me advice, whatever.
(08:58):
This is an experiment and an adventure in life.
I'll report back once I try it. Yeah, he wasn't stopping, he was
doubling down. He had fully convinced himself
that he wouldn't get addicted toheroin and now, now he wanted to
try cocaine because in his mind he was untouchable.
Like addiction just wasn't something that could happen to
him and that's where he messed up.
(09:18):
It all came crashing down when only two weeks after the first
post, another post was made fromhis account.
Two weeks ago I tried heroin once for fun and MAID didn't ask
me anything. I've been using since and shot
up for the first time today. Ask me anything fucking.
I'm still withdrawing, throwing up and sweating out gallons of
sweat. I really want to use and relapse
right now. I know I shouldn't.
(09:40):
These urges are so strong and overpowering.
Please help me if you can beforeI get the chance to.
He was in a very bad place now and this, this is where the real
spiral began. 1000 comment update Fuck my life.
I wish I was trolling and this was all some elaborate lie.
I was doing everything right, have been clean and somehow a
rumor got out that I've been using and my girlfriend found
(10:02):
out and she basically broke up with me last night but is now
putting that decision on hold. I have some serious unrelated
business slash work I need to attend to in two hours and I
don't know if I'll be in any state to be able to and be
ready. I can't stop crying.
Fuck heroin, fuck my life. I guess I don't need to say that
since heroin pretty much fucked my life for me in under 2 weeks.
I just want to die NA Update Went to NAI, shared my story and
(10:26):
it seemed to hit a lot of people.
I cried. I got a lot of support and
numbers and felt like I'm in a good place and truly believe I
never have to use again. I will be going back.
Update hashtag whatever. I slept for about 30 hours,
sweat out my entire body and nowI feel OK.
I also took a shit for the firsttime in like a week which is
pretty awesome. I can stop this on my own.
I don't even think I need NA butI'm not ruling it out.
(10:48):
I've no craving or desire to do heroin.
I'm sure some of you will be quick to say I need real support
and maybe you're right, but right now I think I'll be OK.
New update I appreciate all the genuine concern and advice.
I finished my stash, bad idea but too late, threw out my
needles and I'm too faded to respond to comments for now.
When I sober up in a couple hours I'll check out some NA
(11:09):
meetings. Edit I nodded off after taking
another hit at 4:00 AM and couldn't be bothered to look at
this anymore and just woke up sore with a headache.
For those of you who think I'm atroll because I can do heroin
and type well with good grammar,fuck off.
It's not that hard if you type slowly and carefully without
looking at the screen. The screen is a blur and too
bright and it's challenging, butI'd rather post coherently than
(11:30):
like an idiot. I know it's hard to believe
someone dumb enough to do heroinis intelligent in other regards.
Comments disintegrated into mindless bandwagon accusations
of being a troll. I wanted to engage in a
discussion and know I need help and my mind isn't exactly right.
I'll sift through the post and respond to the genuine ones once
I feel better. For people calling fake, is this
proof enough for you? You want to see my track marks
(11:50):
too? They're not pretty and this is
under 24 hours after first shooting up.
I'm not proud of any of this andposted it here because I can't
tell anyone in my life and don'twant to keep it to myself.
I figured doing another ask me Anything would give me the
opportunity to talk about my issues anonymously and help
realize the extent of my problemthrough feedback.
The asshole saying this is all fake trolling can fuck
themselves. People can post about being
(12:12):
prostitutes and all sorts of things that harm a large number
of other people, but dismissed someone on the track to become
an addict who needs help and just wants to talk and maybe
help some other people for making the same mistakes.
I appreciate the people giving legitimate advice and asking
questions. I'm going to the next NA meeting
I can find. At this point it wasn't just the
addiction he was fighting, he was also dealing with a swarm of
(12:33):
Internet trolls. Documenting everything online
might have seemed like a good idea at first, but it ended up
making things worse for him. Sure a few people were still
trying to help, but most of the replies just people clowning on
him, calling him a junkie, tearing him down.
And in this next update you could really feel it.
He admitted how hard it was all get in, mentally, physically,
(12:55):
everything. It wasn't just about the drugs
anymore, he was breaking down. I know there will be a lot of
people telling me I told you so and urging me to seek help and
they are right. That's all good and trust me I
know the danger I am and have ruined in my life and let's
please keep this as an AMA firstand foremost.
I'll be checking out NA meeting this week and I know I'm on the
fast track to becoming an addictand I want to stop it before it
(13:17):
gets out of control and I'm physically addicted.
No one in my life can know aboutthis and I want to stop before
it's too late. I've been using for two to three
day periods, then taking a couple days off, then using
again. The brakes were in part to try
not to get hooked, and in part because I had an unreliable
dealer who charged me more than double what I should be paying.
I got ripped off several times when I tried to buy it off the
street. My former dealer is the guy who
(13:39):
I first bought from. Today I met a guy through some
Internet channels who said he could get bundles 10 small bags
of heroin for significantly lessthan half the price my old
dealer gave me on his most fair deal.
He also happened to be an IV user and had a stash of sealed
needles and supplies and offeredto shoot me up.
I had kind of hoped I would findsomeone who would, and he was a
pro finding my small hidden veins and injecting a bag in one
(14:02):
shot. To quote Trainspotting, take the
best as in we've ever had, multiply it by 1000 and you're
still nowhere near it. He gave me some new needles and
tourniquets, and when I got homeI tried to do it to myself.
After not hitting the vein countless times, I finally got a
red flag and was good to go. I've injected 5 bags in 4:00 PM,
the last one a little less an hour ago, and I'm tempted to do
(14:22):
one more. Ask me anything.
Forgive me for any delays if I'mnot off.
Then a user who claimed to be anIV user jumped on the thread to
make the dread even worse for him by dropping a comprehensive
list of what spontaneous H had coming.
Oh dear. I'm an IV morphine addict, so I
know where you're coming from. In my opinion, there's no going
back now. You're going to be in for one
(14:42):
hell of a ride. So you found heroin.
You know you like it. Hell, you love it.
Like the chase, like the catch, like the high.
Opiates are like kissing God, and once you've tried them,
there's no going back. If you don't clean up now or
clean up soon, within a month, this is what you can expect.
After a few days of continuous use you'll become physically
(15:04):
dependent. The withdrawals from opiates are
like the high but turned inside out.
Imagine how much pleasure you get when you push the plunger
all the way down and you feel the smack hit your brain and you
just melt. Now turn it inside out.
You can expect to be pissing outyour ass, freezing cold, yawning
non-stop. Drippy nose muscles and bones
feel like they're breaking and spontaneously combusting.
(15:26):
No sleep, severe depression and ideas, the best word.
The list goes on. 2nd, be prepared to lose everything that
you have. You will lose your job, your
family, your friends, your possessions, your apartment,
everything. The longer you keep going, the
more you lose. Eventually, once you've lost all
your possessions in the physicalrealm, then the smack will take
(15:47):
your soul with it. The list just goes on and on and
honestly it's hard to read. It's heavy, depressing, and just
hard to take in. This guy wasn't there to
sugarcoat anything. He wasn't pretending to be
supportive just for the sake of it.
He wanted spontaneous age, to see how dark of a path he was
on, to snap out of it before it got even worse.
Thanks for the response. I'm learning how hard this is
(16:08):
more and more every moment. I haven't used since I said I
stopped, yet things seem to keepgetting worse.
I want to die. Just staying alive to go to
meetings is enough of a challenge.
I can't handle work right now. My romantic life is going to
shit and I'm trying to salvage it.
I can't deal with education now.It seems everything has
completely deteriorated. Then for a while he went ghost.
(16:30):
Some people thought that the worst had happened and he'd
fallen even deeper into the spiral and went off the grid, or
worse, something terrible had happened to him.
However, later he came back withanother post.
I tried heroin a month ago made and asked me anything.
Got addicted and started injecting and just started
suboxone treatment. Ask me anything, but this post
(16:51):
didn't go as planned because half of the thread was filled
with people calling him a liar, despite the fact that he
literally posted a picture of a stash with needles in his Last
Post. After that post flopped,
spontaneous age just disappeared.
No updates, no replies, nothing.He was completely off the grid
and no one knew what happened. For a whole year, the account
(17:11):
had no update. However, he came back with an
update and just as everyone had expected, things were not good.
Ask me Anything patient in a psychiatric hospital.
I was also technically dead lastweek.
Ask me anything. I am in one of the nation's
finest hospitals and get Internet access in 30 minute
intervals before having to restart my browsing session,
(17:33):
which is kind of annoying along with the pesky web filter.
I'll be very grateful if anyone can help me get around it.
All proxies I have tried are blocked.
If you're reading this and know me, you probably already know
who I am. Ask me anything.
I had it. I can't believe it has been over
one year since I discovered heroin and did the Ask me
anything's on here after first trying it and several months
(17:53):
later. Time flies when you're an
addict. At this point it was clear his
whole life had completely fallenapart.
It was wild to think about because at the very start of the
story he was so sure, so confident he wouldn't get
addicted. What followed was a full blown
spiral. The full definition of a spiral,
one that wrecked his life and dragged him into some of the
(18:15):
darkest places a person can go. And just like that, he vanished
again. And after 7 long years, he came
back. Just one post, One final update
to say he was alive, and this time he was actually doing OK.
Spontaneous age 7 years later. Update for anyone who stumbles
(18:36):
upon this account in the future.I don't know if anyone here
remembers me, but you can look through my submissions history
and get an idea. It's not pretty and will take
you through a journey of my first time trying heroin to my
life quickly falling apart. So take that as a warning.
It's graphic. I was totally out of my mind and
you may not want to read it depending on where you're at.
(18:58):
This is the first time I've logged into this account in a
couple years, and I had a bunch of PMS and people occasionally
mentioned this account in various places on Reddit, so
I'll post a quick update here for anyone who stumbles upon
this in the future. I'm now almost six years clean
from all drugs and alcohol and life is good.
It's too difficult for me to go back and even read most of what
I originally wrote seven years ago.
Maybe one day I'll be able to. I don't even remember what I
(19:21):
said in the first post, but I know I can look back objectively
and say that things probably weren't as good and normal
before I tried heroin that time,as I made it seem in that first
post. There were certainly warning
signs before that with alcohol, weed, and other things that I
had issues with substances, although I probably couldn't
admit it to myself at that time.I would have never even tried it
(19:42):
if things were truly going well for me.
What followed in the later post with where it took me was very
real. Thanks for everyone who's
reached out over the years. I hope everyone here is able to
find recovery and get the help they need.
Incredibly shiny shark. Now, this story's a little
shorter, but I had to include inthe video because it gives you a
(20:02):
glimpse into just how wild the human mind can really be.
Hi all. I'm a man who ate a portion of
his own amputated leg. Ask me anything.
Yeah, he ate his own leg. And the craziest part is that he
was so chill about it. So the quick and dirty.
About two years ago I was hit onmy motorcycle.
They salvage my foot, but I was never able to walk on it.
(20:23):
I like to dive it amputated. I asked the doctors to keep it.
I signed some papers, not a big deal.
Before this post, he had made another post showing an X-ray of
his foot, which was completely destroyed because of the
accident. Oh man, I saw we were doing
X-rays. Here's mine.
So yeah, after the surgery, he actually got his amputated foot
back from the doctors. And I don't know what was going
through his head, but he decidedhe was going to cook it and eat
(20:47):
it. I got it back with the help of
some friends, cooked a portion of the tip, Elias anterior.
And then came the proof, becauselet's be real, there's no way
anyone was going to believe them.
So in classic Reddit fashion, heattached some pictures to the
post. And I'm not going to do that
because that is disgusting. I'm not going to include the
pictures because that's beyond gross.
Edit I taste like Buffalo but chewier, super beefy and little
(21:11):
fat. So obviously Reddit had
questions. 1 user, Rickley Picley jumped in and asked.
Did eating your own flesh ethically or morally bother you
then or now? And how about your friends that
also tried it? To which incredibly shiny Shark
replied by saying no, it was from a healthy part of the
amputation. I'm a healthy person.
(21:31):
Waste not, want not. And they all consented as far as
I know. They are all so cool with it.
It's a fun, weird thing. This guy ate his own leg or foot
and acted like he just made dinner for the boys.
And yeah, that sounds crazy. But for some people, life has
been so weird and so messed up that nothing shocks them
anymore. So yeah, legend, but in the most
deranged and unhinged way, I love Roach.
(21:56):
All right, so as the username suggests, this guy really loved
roaches. Like, really love them.
The post came eleven years ago from I Love Roach in the Today I
Fucked Up subreddit, and I'm just going to say it upfront.
Trigger warning because this story goes off the rails fast.
Today I fucked up by admitting to my girlfriend that I pretend
that she is a giant cockroach when we have sex.
(22:17):
Ever since I was a teenager, I've had very intense fantasies
about having sex with a giant Roach.
It started in 9th or 10th grade when we read The Metamorphosis
by Franz Kafka. As I started to think more and
more about the Roach creature that the character I'd become, I
started to imagine what it'd be like if a woman turned into the
Roach instead. I found this idea very rousing.
I would not be repulsed or frightened of her as the
(22:40):
characters in the story are. I'll take care of her.
Then my thoughts started to get sexual with the character.
Eventually I sort of dropped thebit about her having been a
human woman 1st, and I kind of imagine this fictionalized Roach
species. They're giant roaches the size
of a person and have complete intelligence.
A kind of overtime conjured up an imaginary friend of sorts.
(23:01):
She was one of these roaches andher name was Agatha.
I'd fantasize about her often. And then he just went on this
weird rant drooling over how Agatha was better than actual
women. Like fully convinced she was
superior in every way. It was disturbing to say the
least. But then the post takes a very
deep turn. He reveals something big.
So anyways, I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend
(23:23):
for about a year. 3 or 4 times Ihave tried to have sex with her
and not pretend she's Agatha, but I just can't do it.
So essentially every time we have sex I am imagining she's
Agatha and I finally confined this to her the other day and I
was blown away by reaction. I thought she might take it a
bit badly at first, but then she'd get used to it.
No, I've never seen such a look of disgust before.
(23:44):
Outraged is not an understatement.
She is not even returning my text now.
I'm afraid she's going to break up with me and also that is
going to tell people about Agha.I don't know how I'll face
anyone. This is going to sound silly but
I also feel guilty about feelingshame.
As if Agha will be saddened by this even though I know she's
imaginary. I just don't know what to do at
this point now. I genuinely don't know what this
(24:07):
guy was thinking. The comments under this thread
were hilarious. Five years after that first
post, he came back again, and this time he revealed that after
fumbling his real life girlfriend because of his
imaginary Roach girlfriend, he'dalso managed to fumble pretty
much everything else too. Today I fucked up by admitting
to my coworkers that my wife Agtha is an imaginary giant
(24:30):
Roach. An update of sorts to my prior
today I fucked up from five years ago.
Hello. Five years ago I submitted the
story of me telling my then girlfriend that when we made
love, I was envisioning her as agiant Roach.
In the five years that have passed since this topic is
posted, I decided to stop fooling myself and I just
committed to my love to Agtha. I know she is not real per SE,
(24:50):
but in my head she is an actual personality and I am in love
with that personality. I don't care if she has a Roach
or if she's an imaginary. The love is real.
Call me deluded, but it's harmless.
It makes me happy. I've not had a real girlfriend
again since that incident five years ago, but occasionally I've
had one night stands via online apps with the understanding of
it being one night in advance. Around these times, I always
(25:12):
envisioned the woman is Agatha, my sensual Roach queen.
Yeah, I'm not, you know, kink shaming or anything, but he's
basically gone off the rails. The thing about it, though, is
that I became so in love with myAgatha that I married her.
I even did a little ceremony in my living room.
I recited my own vows, and she recited hers.
I even went on a honeymoon, which technically you could say
(25:33):
was a solo vacation to New Orleans for a week.
But in my mind, Agatha was with me the entire time.
In my mind I think of her as my wife.
Now here's where I fucked up. I got so used to thinking of her
as my wife in my head that a fewmonths ago at work I
nonchalantly said my wife in some innocuous sentence.
I think it was something like Ohyeah me and my wife loved that
(25:53):
show in regards to Chopped. So now everyone was asking me
about my wife because they had never heard I was married or
even dating anymore. Everyone kept pestering me,
wanting to know about her, wanting to see pictures.
I became full of panic. I did the one thing I swore I
would never do again. I talked to other people about
Agfa in real life. We're at that team lunch and I
(26:14):
just let it all spill out. I told them about how I became
enamored as a teenager with the Franz Kafka story, how my
fantasy evolved into an actual imaginary entity with a
personality, and how I slowly began to grow in love with her.
What started as a more sexual attraction to giant roaches
blossomed into a whirlwind romance, and that she became the
love of my life, even though herexistence was in my own mind.
(26:35):
At first they thought I was doing a creepy joke, but I
convinced them I was telling thetruth.
Well, they were afraid and disgusted.
I've been a pariah at work ever since.
Everybody steers clear of me. We used to have a good social
life. Now people only speak to me for
work related reasons. Even working virtually now,
nobody sends me a slack message unless it is about work.
I even heard a rumor that peoplewent to HR, but they were of
(26:57):
course told nothing could be done.
I've lost my good work friends because of this and is indeed
jeopardized my career because mybosses think I'm insane.
I've ruined my friendships and future career prospects due to
my honesty. If you must know.
I do hope that even if I'm an old man, that one day the
technology is invented to extract the Agatha personality
from my mind and implant it intoa real external body, either of
(27:20):
a genetically engineered or a mechanical nature, and me and
Agatha can then experience genuine physical connection.
But if she must remain within me, that is fine.
Her love keeps me warm on the coldest of nights.
Thank you. I still can't quite pin down
what was actually wrong with this guy.
There were clearly multiple things going on, and from the
(27:41):
way he wrote you could tell he'dconsumed way too much cinema.
In literature he kept throwing in references to movies, books,
and even obscure characters likehe was living in some alternate
storyline he had made-up in his head.
But Nope, the story does not endthere.
Just a year later, he came back to write it again, and after
already ruining his social life,love life, and basically
(28:01):
everything else, he had somehow managed to mess things up even
more. This time, he revealed Agha to
his parents. Today I fucked up.
I tell my parents that I'm married to an imaginary giant
Roach, my beloved Agha. A few of you may recall some
years ago, I posted about my lovely Agha you can find in my
post history. My new story requires an
explanation of Agha. For those who don't know, I'll
(28:24):
try to be brief. I love Agha and she loves me.
Some time ago, I married her. Now, from a strictly legal
sense, no, I'm not married per SE.
But for me and Agha, we considerour relationship to be a
marriage. I am devoted to her and her to
me. I revealed this to my coworkers
and it did not go well, but I thought my parents had a right
to know. Last evening I revealed to them
(28:45):
everything about Agha and told them we were married.
I even allowed Agha to speak through me to them so that she
could finally meet my parents after only seeing them from
afar. Lady Collie wobbles out of all
the absolute burning questions Ihave.
When he allowed Octa to speak through him to them.
Did she speak in human or like clicking noises or whatever
sounds a cockroach makes? I can't sleep.
(29:07):
I knew my parents would find it unusual at first, but I thought
they would come to understand and be happy for me.
However, and I fear they may think I am deranged, my mother
actually cried and not tears of happiness as I expected.
They even encouraged me to see counseling and I explained to
them what I was experiencing is real and encouraged them to read
through the tulpa Reddit. It had created a very bad
(29:29):
situation for me and now I feel my relationship with my parents
is quite ruined. They keep insisting I see
counseling and are threatening if I don't.
It will no longer assist with mystudent loans and will not be
welcome at Thanksgiving. I feel they are overreacting,
but at the same time I wish I'd just kept my marriage a secret.
I do consider it now to be fucked up to be truthful to my
(29:49):
parents. They are in some ways
traditionalists and are simply not ready to understand how
entities can exist without physical form and share a mind.
It breaks my hearts, but I wish I'd been deceitful with my
family. For the record, I will never
divorce Agatha, and with our love I know I can survive
anything. But I wish I had never been
truthful with my parents. That ended up being the Last
(30:10):
Post we ever got from the account.
After that, Reddit suspended it.Which honestly, you know, makes
sense. The whole situation was just
deeply deranged. This was someone clearly
struggling with serious mental issues and whatever line
separates reality from fiction, Yeah, for him that line was long
gone. We don't know where he is now,
whether he's still with Agha or if he finally got help, but
(30:34):
wherever he is, I genuinely hopehe's doing better, even if he
did traumatize the entire Redditcommunity for like 11 straight
years. All right, guys, that wraps up
some deranged Reddit users. Let me know what you thought
about these ones. I mean, the first one, the
heroin user, was very, very, youknow, impactful, sad,
depressing. And the last one was, you know,
(30:56):
still kind of similar, but a little bit more.
I don't know, it was very strange.
I think these were very derangedusers and that kind of perfectly
sums up today's video. It was deranged and the video
titled deranged ready users. I hope you enjoyed comment down
below your thoughts. I read every single comment.
Please like the video and subscribe to the channel.
It helps more than you know. Thank you so much for watching
(31:16):
the channel. Go check out another video.
If enjoyed this one and this wasSnook and I'll see you next
time, bye.
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