Horrifying Anonymous Confessions

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hey, what's up guys and welcome back to another anonymous
confessions video. You guys have been loving these
confessions videos a lot and I've been loving recording them
and giving some feedback on yourguys confessions.
I really appreciate your guys open this with me and just the
channel and everyone watching. I really hope it helps and I
think it does. So that's really awesome to

(00:20):
hear. And before we get into it,
please like the video and subscribe to the channel.
And if you'd like to see your confession in the future video,
please send to the e-mail on screen now.
I appreciate all of you. You guys are the best.
And all right, without further ado, let's get into some
horrifying anonymous confessions.
It's been a long time since thishappened and I just wanted to

(00:42):
get this off my chest as I don'treally want anyone I'm close to
finding out about this. My dad had died a few weeks ago
of an enlarged blood vessel and his brain bursting.
All I can say is I hope it hurt a lot.
I genuinely wish that he suffered in his final moments
like how he made me suffer. See, he used to be incredibly

(01:04):
abusive to me. He would be perfectly fine
towards my sisters, but to me inparticular he would refuse to
allow me to do anything. Wanted to watch TV?
No Wanted to talk without previously being told to do so?
Unacceptable. Wanted to use the family laptop?
Absolutely not. I wasn't allowed to use the
Chromebooks my school provided when I had them.

(01:26):
I had to wait until he went to bed to try and use it to do my
work. And as a result I was always
tired. And as a result of that my
grades suffered. And as a result of that I would
be punished for it whenever my sisters would screw something up
and get in trouble. It seems there was a hierarchy
of how much trouble we would getin.
One of my sisters would never receive any punishment as she

(01:47):
was his little pumpkin. My second sister would just get
her electronics taken away for afew weeks.
But for me, he would beat me. I don't know why he singled me
out for this, I really don't. Maybe it's because I was his
only son and he wanted just daughters.
Maybe it's because he figured people wouldn't give as much of
A shit if I was being abused compared to my sisters.
He threw out all of my T-shirts and tank tops and I was only

(02:09):
allowed to wear hoodies and turtlenecks to hide all the
bruises. Even in the middle of the summer
I hated them. I still do.
Anytime my sister would screw up, he'd deny it.
Oh, his little pumpkin could never do anything wrong.
How could that be possible? She was the smart twin after
all. The one with the future, the one
who everyone loved. I sincerely do not know why he

(02:31):
singled me out. I wasn't allowed to have a door.
My room just had books. My sisters didn't want to read
because they had tablets and computers in a hand me down bed.
I was only allowed to read, go to the bathroom and eat dinner
after my dad had his. I don't know if it's because
like I said maybe he just wantedgirls or maybe I was a twin he
didn't want since I mean when having twins one is always

(02:52):
unplanned. My sisters didn't write them out
because he'd always give them what they wanted and told them
that if they tell the school staff what he did to me that he
would go to prison and they wouldn't get what they wanted
anymore. He seemed fine when in public,
had a decent job, interacted, find one in public.
He just told people that I was shy or that I had some mental

(03:13):
disorder or whatever, but as soon as we got home it's like a
switch flipped. Anytime I feel certain times of
leather I get severe panic attacks.
After every beating he would tell me that if I told anyone
about what he did to me, he would kill me before the police
could take me away. It was a miserable life at that
point and that's putting it lightly.
I may have been alive, but I wasn't living constantly in

(03:35):
fear, hiding behind my bed and hoping he wouldn't see me,
stacking books near the bed frame to try to block it so when
he comes looking for me I could hide and hopefully not be seen.
It all came to a point where oneday he was beating me with his
belt and the buckle lodged in myforearm and broke the belt.
He did not stop beating me with it even after the belt was
broken. If anything, me breaking his

(03:56):
favorite belt made him angrier. He only stopped when I threw up
on the carpet from crying so hard.
That night I ran away to my grandparents, waited until he
wanted to sleep and hauled ass on foot.
We didn't visit often as they had cut contact with them.
They were completely different from him.
I don't know why he turned out the way he did.
Maybe some people are just born evil.
My aunt and uncle turned out fine.

(04:18):
I don't know. I just stayed with my
grandparents after this. They called the cops.
It was a whole thing, but we managed to be quiet to avoid
getting any unwanted attention. I had to get stitches.
When the hospital removed the belt buckle, I remember seeing
some of the fat in my arm come with it.
That was the worst experience ofmy life.
It's been a while since then. We insisted the case be kept low

(04:39):
profile. My dad was found guilty due to
all the abuse I suffered and my sisters cut all contact with me,
I assume because now they won't get whatever they want from my
dad. I don't know if it was stress
relief, I don't know if he wouldjust hated me or if I did
something without realizing just.
I've been subscribed to you for a while now, or at least since

(05:00):
your ocean mysteries iceberg. But since you started the
confession videos, I was considering talking about what
had happened. Hearing from my grandparents
that my dad died was the happiest experience of my life.
I hope you folks understand why I don't want kids, not after how
I was raised. I don't want to risk becoming
him or easing into that kind of behavior.

(05:23):
I don't want to perpetuate the cycle because I can't trust
myself on just my word to say I'll raise them better than I
was. I don't know, last I heard of my
sisters they were trying to see a lawyer over who gets what from
my dad's possessions as my mom died from COVID back in 2021.
I don't want to talk to them. Sorry if this was formatted or

(05:43):
organized weird. I just wanted to dump all of
this out there for you. Please keep me anonymous.
Thank you so much for, you know,trusting me with this story.
And I'm glad the confession videos have kind of helped you
out and just, I really appreciate you watching the
channel and saying those nice words.
And I'm really sorry you had to go through that.
And in all honesty, I understandwhy you feel that way about your

(06:06):
father passing. I would too.
So I don't think you should feelbad for feeling that way since I
can't imagine how you felt throughout those years of
suffering. And I really hope you're doing
better now. If I had to recommend anything,
it would be find a therapist, find someone to talk to and just
kind of vent all this out multiple times.

(06:26):
Talk to someone who's, you know,also experienced it maybe and
someone who hasn't like a therapist.
And I think that could just really help you out.
Just get in off your chest talking about it and really just
letting go of all this trauma. I really think, I really think
it could help you and I hope it does.

(06:46):
But you know, this is the first step towards, you know,
recovering and getting it all off your mind.
But I hope you're doing better now, and I hope your life keeps
going well. Thank you so much for sharing
and on to the next one. Hi Snook, First I wanted to say
that I love that you're giving apeople a place to vent out

(07:07):
things they've been keeping bottled up inside, myself
included. Now my confession.
I nearly witnessed my friend's death, sorta.
We both don't talk about this that much because truthfully, we
were somewhat in the wrong for this.
It was the summer, we both were around 17.
Two stupid teenage boys. My friend just got his license

(07:27):
and we want to explore parts of our state.
The more rural areas. We both live closer to the city.
It was my idea to sneak out one night knowing both of our
parents wouldn't allow us to go on our own.
Meeting up at a nearby park, getting situated.
Then we hit the road. The drive there was fine, no one
was really out on the road. It was close to 1:00 AM.
We happily chatted about random things before I cut the

(07:48):
conversation and pointed out a building.
My father would always tell me stories about the building.
It was an old asylum. I convinced my friend to find a
way closer. He obliged.
There was no parking lot, if it even had one.
Once he stopped the car, I hopped out, walking closer to
the building. I would have tried to find a way
in if my friend didn't grab me and pull me back to the car.

(08:10):
It confused me. Usually he was super excited to
explore abandoned places, shoving me back towards his car.
I felt something was off now. My friend had to have broken a
few speed limits driving away from the asylum.
I kept trying to ask what his issue was.
He wasn't answering me. I must have pissed him off
enough that he just yelled at meto shut up.

(08:30):
I did. We drove for at least 30 more
minutes in silence, eventually coming up to some sort of field.
The road was a dirt Rd. my friend just parked in the middle
of the road, having the headlights pointed towards the
field. I honestly forgot that my friend
was so antsy earlier. I got out of the car, walking
through the field. I still don't know what it was.
It really doesn't matter. I heard my friend calling for me

(08:52):
again, yelling my name. I nearly didn't turn around.
I wish I hadn't. Looking back at my friends,
seeing them get back into the driver's seat, it was a sign for
me to come back to the car. I was about to start walking
back, but I stopped. Screeching tires, revving of an
engine, then smashing metal. I stood in the field watching as
a truck purposely slammed into the side of my friend's car.

(09:14):
I knew it was on purpose becausethe truck didn't stop.
The truck pushed the car a good couple of feet before it ended
up nose down in the ditch. I stayed in the field for a
moment, watching as the truck kept driving away.
Once it was clear, I sprinted tomy friend's car, praying he was
still alive. Thankfully he was though he was
bleeding a lot, multiple cuts and scrapes, and he wanted to

(09:36):
call his parents. I told him he was insane.
We ended up calling his older sister.
She swore to not tell her parents.
She paid for a tow truck to get his car out of the ditch and the
ER visit my friend had. We didn't tell his sister about
the truck nor us visiting the asylum.
Honestly, I don't think she would even care.
The lie we fabricated was lame. His sister took his car into a

(09:57):
wreck and my friend came to helpher with his car.
I wasn't included in the story. They lied about me being with
them. My friend also told me that he
saw the truck at the asylum. That was the reason he wanted to
get away from it so fast. I still think about that night.
I could have been killed if I had gotten into my friend's car
quicker. Also, why did whoever was

(10:18):
driving the truck do what they did?
I honestly feel guilty. Maybe if we hadn't stopped at
the asylum we wouldn't have caught the attention of that
truck and my friend wouldn't have been almost killed.
That's my confession. Feel free to share your
opinions. I'd love to hear what you and
the viewers think of this. Thank you again, can't wait for
all your future videos. Thank you so much for sharing

(10:40):
this. And in my opinion, I don't think
you should, you know, feel guilty because from what you
outlined and what you said inside your story, it seems like
a freak accident of, you know, someone seen you guys and wanted
to take it out on you. I don't know, that was kind of

(11:01):
weird. I don't know why he would have
wanted to hit you or hit your friend's car and, you know, hit
and run. But I don't think you should
feel guilty of wanting to go to the asylum.
Wanted to do this, wanted to do that.
I just think a lot of weird stuff happened.
And I don't think you should feel guilty, though at least
your friend is alive. That could have ended up a lot

(11:22):
worse. But I don't think you should
feel guilty. I think it was a freak accident
or some you got the attention ofsome weirdo driving a truck and
he wanted to kill you. I'm really glad you're OK and
hopefully your friend is still doing all right.
But I don't think you should feel guilty.
Everyone watching, please comment down below what you
think about that story. Yeah, just what are your guys
opinions? I'll read them and yeah, think

(11:45):
he's worth sharing. On to the next one.
Hey, I'm fairly new to your channel but already enjoying
listening to the stories and confessions.
Here is my confession. My mother has been raised by
horrible people. I do not want to share too many
details but my mother suffered alot as a young child.

(12:05):
As a result, my mother developedsevere mental issues and
continues to circle to this day.She's over 70 now, she has been
unable to keep a job and has been absent for large parts of
my life due to admission to mental hospitals, depression and
dehabilitating anxiety. Needless to say, the
mistreatment she endured caused for me as her child to suffer,

(12:27):
as well as growing up with a parent with severe mental issues
has its own challenges. Anyway, regardless of her
upbringing, her parents have always been a part of her life.
She has always felt obligated tolook after them.
As a girl older, after my grandmother passed away, my
mother continued to look after my grandfather.
We had many conversations about this, but she simply did not
have the mental strength to cut ties.

(12:48):
Of course, I respected her decision to keep him in her
life, and because I did not wantto make it any more difficult
for her, I chose not to activelypush him out and cut off contact
myself. I rarely saw him and when I did,
I did it for my mother. Then my grandfather fell I'll he
was already at a respectable ageand was transferred to a
hospital. I saw my mother withering away

(13:09):
as she continued to look after him.
The nurses slash caretakers saw her as their main contact and
she had to make a lot of decisions.
Eventually she was so stressed out that I offered to join in on
the conversations with the nurseslash caretakers.
She gladly finally accepted. As my grandfather got worse, we
knew he would pass soon and we had to decide on medication.

(13:31):
My mother was drained and I justfelt so much anger and
frustration about this man stillgetting the best of her.
When the nurse slash caretaker wanted to talk to us about
sedatives, I pushed for him to get the Max the dose.
I did not care, I just wanted him gone.
I am a pacifist, but he brought out my dark side.
They warned us that we would be unable to talk to him, unable to

(13:53):
say our goodbyes, but I kept pushing for them to Max the
dose. I told them that we saw how
restless he was, which was the truth and that we did not want
him to have to experience such distress in its last days.
Not true. I just did not want my mother to
have to witness his distress andfeel guilty for not be able to
do anything for this man who ruined the best of her life.

(14:14):
They were apprehensive but because I played the we do not
want him to suffer card they agreed.
They maxed the dose and soon after my grandfather passed
away. I have never felt any guilt,
which kind of surprises me because I am usually very soft
hearted and mellow. As I grew older, I mostly feel
sad that someone can pass without anyone really mourning

(14:35):
them. He could have been a wonderful
man and father. He could have been listened to
my mother when she tried to talkto him about the past instead of
denying any wrongdoing at any time.
He could have thanked my mother for everything she did for him,
but he never did. He never tried to make her feel
appreciated, seeing and loved. What a waste.
I have the most loving, soft hearted mother who spent her

(14:57):
life working hard to improve hermental health.
I'm grateful for the time we didget to share and still do get to
share together. Mostly I'm grateful for the
grandmother she got to be because of all the hard work she
has done to stabilize her issues.
My children love her to bits andso do I.
Thank you for reading my story. Not sure if it qualifies as a

(15:17):
confession, but it feels good tohave it out there.
Keep up the good work maze. Hey there Snook, I really love
your videos and deeply appreciate what you're doing for
the community via your anonymousconfession videos.
My confession has to do with alcoholism and addiction and how
my story can help someone out there.

(15:39):
I hope it's not too long and please keep me and my e-mail
anonymous, though I know you will.
Anyway. I'm a recovering alcoholic.
I'll go to a a meetings a few times a week.
It's been very helpful for me and working with my problems and
being surrounded by people who have been through what I have in
the program. At some point in your recovery,
you have to make amends to people you've hurt or who you

(16:01):
have affected by your use of substances.
I'm nervous to get to this part.Of course, everyone is.
It's difficult to lay yourself bare and apologize upfront and
clearly about the ways you've harmed them.
Honesty is one of the main rulesof working the a a program.
But there's one thing I feel like I need to keep inside.
Don't worry, it's probably not as bad as you think.
I didn't kill anyone or anythinglol.

(16:22):
One time a few years ago during the height of my usage, my
cousin was visiting us and I wasreally excited.
I'd never met someone outside ofmy immediate family before.
I knew he didn't drink and was actively sober, so my family and
I put away the bottles of alcohol to make him feel safe.
Well, one of the things that I loved doing during my drinking
career was drinking around people secretly and trying my

(16:42):
best not to get caught or found out.
It gave me a rush of exhilaration trying to be
sneaky, drinking more and more and testing how long I can keep
up the game. It was fun for me.
That was one of the main issues when I was drinking.
Doing dangerous or bad things secretly would make me feel good
and proud of myself. Getting away with it all.
Well, I stuck into my mom's roomwhere we had hidden the alcohol

(17:03):
when my cousin was over and drank a lot straight from the
bottle. Being an alcoholic for a long
time, you stop counting shots because it doesn't matter.
People count to keep track of how much they drink, but there's
no need to count if you know you're just going to drink the
whole bottle anyway. I drank a lot and I pretended I
was fine and hadn't drank at all.
It was fun. It made me feel good.

(17:24):
Secretly drinking around someonewho was sober and in recovery.
I did win the game I had crafted.
No one suspected anything and I didn't feel bad.
But I do now. Looking back at my drinking
career and the people I've affected is very difficult.
It's hard to understand your past mistakes and come to terms
with that. That was one of the mistakes
that I had made. It doesn't matter that my cousin

(17:46):
didn't know and that I had won my game because I was the only
one who knew. I am the one that knows what
I've done and I'm sorry. The reason I don't want to make
amends up to him is because he didn't know.
I don't know if I should tell him because he didn't even know.
I know probably should because it lifts the weight off my
shoulders. I know that, but he and I aren't

(18:07):
really close anyways and I don'twant to put distance between us
since they're already a gap. All I know is that I knew I was
the one doing those things. I got away with something
affected by alcohol not knowing.But there was one person that I
knew and it was me. To my cousin, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I did that to you, around you.
It was so shitty of me and I haven't forgiven myself.

(18:29):
I know addiction makes you do horrible things you would never
think or do, but at the end of the day, I'm still the one that
chose to do it. To your viewers and subscribers,
I have just celebrated 10 monthssober and I'm getting better.
I'm working hard to better my life and to make up for the pain
I've caused. If you are struggling with
substance abuse or know someone who is, seek help.

(18:51):
Therapy is so helpful and so is a A.
They will always support and help you.
Addiction is a curse and I hope you are able to get the help you
need. Anonymous confession.
I was a disturbed child. I, 21 male, have done some awful
things as a child, things I deeply regret but can't take

(19:13):
back. I don't remember when exactly it
started but let's say around 8 years old I started fighting
them with my older sister. Not just your regular sibling
fights, but with actual intent to hurt.
I started drawing patterns in myhead for which moves hurt her
the most during our fights and my go to instant win move was to
punch her with a fist on her back between her shoulder

(19:34):
blades. It would knock the air out of
her, making it hard for her to breathe, and at that point she
always gave up. Besides our fistfights, I also
stabbed her with a pen, threw stones at her, pushed her into
barbed wire, and once I held a fork against the flame on her
gas stove and branded her with it.
The worst thing I did could havekilled her.
One time our dad brought us to aproject he was constructing and

(19:54):
she was playing around in the driver's seat of a pickup truck.
I picked up a big stone and threw it at her head though the
open passenger side window, but I luckily missed it by a few
centimeters and the stone smashed through the closed
window on her side of the truck.After realizing what happened,
my dad took me to a dark room and beat the shit out of me,
which I fully deserved. I was also a known thief,

(20:16):
stealing from grocery stores, classmates and even teachers.
I was caught multiple times, butI was also slick with my many
lies so I always managed to squeeze my way out of trouble.
Besides that, I was also very aggressive, always getting into
heated and sometimes physical arguments with my cousins,
uncles, aunts, parents and even grandparents.

(20:38):
If that wasn't bad enough though, this next part will be.
We used to have a big outdoor aviary for our parakeets, but
after we found new owners for them, we got around 8:00 to 9:00
Guinea pigs and kept them in theaviary because it was nice and
spacious for them. One day though, something
possessed me to enter the aviaryand kill them all.
I threw them against the walls, against the floor outside of the
door, kicked them, punched them,whatever it took, I had to kill

(21:00):
them. Till this day I don't know what
the fuck was wrong with me as a child, but thankfully I changed
and have moral values now. I grew to accept the fact that I
can't change the past, but I haven't been able to forgive
myself for the pain I've caused the people around me.
I've never done anything like this before so forgive me if my

(21:21):
writing seems a little stilted or stiff.
Thinking about this just makes me uncomfortable.
Back in my teens, to my detriment, I was a very go with
the flow kind of person. I won't waste too much time on
the small details, just know that this mentally would sink me
into worse and worse crowds. Until I found myself sitting
next to my then boyfriend, listening passively as he

(21:44):
planned how he would steal his friend's brand new TV.
It was the friend's idea to steal it from his own parents.
We're a bunch of fucking degenerates I swear.
I know it may sound wrong but this wasn't what gnaws at me
that night. I was told to hang back and not
get involved in any way. Lines say that I didn't even
know my ex if things went South.Of course I didn't listen, had a

(22:06):
bad feeling. I followed about a block behind
them and stayed hidden. All of a sudden all three of the
boys that were involved certainly pass me, still hidden
back in the direction of the house we were staying at.
Then I saw him, the degenerate friend's 7 year old little
brother had seen my ex in the window trying to break in and
followed him down the street at like 3 in the morning.
Then I did something that affected this kid for at least

(22:27):
as long as I stayed around that group of people.
My stone rolled on and he was still having nightmares.
I fully convinced this poor child that the very real person
that woke him out of his sleep was a dream.
This is pretty much where the story ends because nobody
connected the fact that he was having nightmares of the fact
that he was taking naps after school instead of playing with
the neighborhood kids. And we damn sure didn't connect

(22:49):
the nightmares to the gas lighting.
We were too high on synthetic weed to even think about it.
This realization didn't come to me until I was pregnant and it
stopped using long before for the fog to clear.
I have a nine year old now and thinking about the psychological
effect that I could have had on the child gets profoundly more
real, more shameful, and more embarrassing at the sea years
past for anyone that might be concerned from my child

(23:11):
currently. This was a very unstable point
in my life and I'm fully grounded now.
I live in a very suburban life and the boredom is the best kind
of peace you could imagine. Thanks for listening even if it
doesn't end up in a video a non.Hi dear Snook you got the best
videos and I love your confession videos so I wanted to

(23:32):
send mine. You can call me NASA.
So I have auto cannibalism AKA self cannibalism.
I eat my own skin and flesh. This is due to OCD and wanted to
shine some light on this and would like for people to
understand my cannibalistic tendency.
Started with eating nails, very normal and was caused by stress

(23:53):
at school. I didn't think much of this back
in the day but looking back thisis the point many other people
have this condition start from. Slowly it developed into eating
the skin around my nails and slowly into eating and ripping
the skin around my hand. After doing this for like 2
months I realized that the skin on my foot was easier to RIP
apart. For eight months I ripped and

(24:13):
ate the skin on my feet and you can only imagine how it felt to
walk. I developed a constant limp and
even nowadays I can't walk without painting my feet.
The right foot got it worse due to my ability to bend it better
to get access to the bottom of the feet.
It wasn't all about eating the feet skin although it got to the
worst. I would bite the inside of my
lip until it bled and looked like I had swallowed a fucking

(24:34):
razor blade. How to use box cutters to cut my
own gums apart due to the good taste.
Well it all ended this one night.
Till this night nobody knew about this literal addiction
that had haunted me. Me and a buddy wanted to try
some weed for the first time. I'm not good with any drugs and
apparently there was something more than just normal weed in
that blunt for what my buddy told me.

(24:56):
After some blows I started to goape shit and locked myself in
the bathroom where I ripped my arms skin open and try to eat
its flesh. Fast forward a couple days and
my doctor realizes all my open wounds are self-made.
Put me with a therapist where I open about my problems and get
diagnosed with OCD, auto cannibalism and PTSD.
Due to past drama. Nowadays I'm out of the psych

(25:17):
ward and doing better. Apparently my OCD didn't know
how to handle the PTSD or something that got fucked but I
got meds so I'm good for now. Anyways awesome channel and keep
going. Thank you for sharing this and I
think it brings up a good point.I'm glad you're doing better
now. And what I kind of want to get
into is OCD and that sort of stuff.
I think OCD is one of the most misunderstood mental disorders.

(25:42):
Every single, almost every single, you know, post I've read
confession, I've read disturbingReddit user or whatever.
A lot of it stems from OCD just kind of like the wanting to do
something over and over again. And I think it's just such a
misunderstood, you know, mental disorder because so many people
think it's just like, oh, I wantto have, you know, my pencil in

(26:03):
order on my desk. I want to have blah blah blah
blah blah where in reality sure.Or maybe you're just, you know,
want that. But OCD can lead to things such
as this, which we just read, auto cannibalism, something
horrible. And I'm glad you're doing better
now. For the person who shared this,
I really am glad you're better now.
But if any of you out there are suffering from OCD, it can be a

(26:24):
downward spiral very fast and lead to some horrible, horrible
things. And it's just can tear your life
apart, tear your mind apart, tear your body apart, literally.
And you know, I think if you think you start with something
like OCD like that, I would get help.
Talk to somebody who can help you out because, you know, OCD

(26:45):
really can be a downward spiral and just kind of feed it into
itself and only get worse. So if you think you need help,
please get help. Talk to somebody.
It will only help you out in thelong run.
Mental health is so important. Anyways, thank you so much for
sharing and on to the next one. I know it's been weeks since you

(27:06):
posted about wanting to have subscriber confessions, but
listen to the video. I realized that so many people
were confessing things they did as children that are very dark
and I realized maybe I could finally get this off my chest.
This is my deepest darkest secret.
I'm honestly terrified to write this but I desperately need
someone's opinion on this. I grew up in an abusive home,

(27:27):
father did drugs, then my mom left them, remarried.
But my home life was horrible. I was often belittled,
humiliated, and a few times my stepdad would randomly hit me.
I'd witnessed an attempted murder as a small child and many
other things and was just not right in the head.
I was diagnosed with many mentalillnesses by the age of 12/1

(27:48):
day. I came home from school and just
had this terrible impulse. I can't quite tell why I did
what I did. If I'm honest with myself, I
thought doing this would potentially give my family a
fresh start. I thought maybe doing this would
get someone to pay attention to me in the mental agony I was in.
I SH by this time I took a lighter and let the hamper in my

(28:09):
parents room on fire. I immediately tried to get all
the pets out and I managed to get all but one.
I ran back into the house once the fire got out of control to
save a few of our pets. I genuinely have no idea why I
did what I did. I was never a violent or angry
kid. I was a scared neglected one.
The house was destroyed and theyhad to rebuild a new one.
The cops questioned me and I lied and lied and lied.

(28:33):
They never ended up catching me,but maybe had I been honest, the
guilt wouldn't have eaten me theway it has.
It's been over a decade and I often pray to God to forgive me
for what I've done. I hurt my family, we lost a cat,
we lost everything, all because of me.
I've never done something like this again.

(28:53):
After this event my mental health deteriorated so quickly
that I ended up spending some months in a psych ward and I
never told them the true reason why.
I felt like I needed to be punished, like I deserve to
suffer for what I did. I'm now 24 and my mental health
is so poor. I've attempted to end my life
twice. I've gone in and out of psych

(29:14):
units and I have taken 8 plus pills a day.
I can't work, I can't live alone, I have schizoaffective
disorder and struggle with the idea that I'm be damned to hell.
I know I deserve it, that's for sure.
I had a dream after it all aboutthe cat we lost where he sat on
my lap purring before leaving me.
I will never ever forgive myselffor being responsible for his

(29:35):
death. I saved 6 pets.
I failed him. I failed my entire family.
To say I saved the pets is wrongbecause I created the danger.
I'm working so hard to become the best me I can be.
I'm in therapy in my mental health program but I've never
discussed this because I can't bear the shame.
I'm a coward. I will forever be haunted by

(29:57):
what I did. Perhaps it was a cry for help,
but it was an insane one. It was truly evil.
Sending this e-mail is one of the hardest things I've done in
a while. It's hard to be honest with
myself among my actions. No one should feel bad for me
because this is a situation entirely created by me.
And that's the worst part. That is it.

(30:20):
That's my confession. Even if you don't feature this
in a video, I'd love response because fuck I feel like this
one event will haunt me till theday I die, the day I am sent
straight to hell. Thank you so much for sharing
this and I can obviously tell you really wanted to get this
off your chest and I think that's the only way you're going
to move past this. Like you said, it's been over a

(30:42):
decade since this happened and it's still weighing heavily on
your mind. I really think this is the first
step towards forgiving yourself and maybe if you never forgive
yourself, somebody can forgive you.
Whether there be a therapist, family member, me, the viewers
of this channel. I think you need to talk to
people. You can't keep this bottled up.
This is too much trauma to keep to yourself.

(31:04):
And I've said that to everybody that sends in a confession.
Talk to somebody, a therapist, afamily member, a trusted friend,
whatever. It's just important to talk to
somebody. Don't keep it inside.
I really think you can get help,get your life and your mental on
the upper trajectory. I believe in you and I really,

(31:25):
really think you can do it. And yeah, I just really think
you should talk to somebody. Every single person who sent in
a confession and they say their life is on the up and up is
after they talk to a friend. So please talk to somebody.
I believe you can get better, and I believe you can forgive
yourself and move on. And you did mention hell a lot
of times. So it makes me wonder if you

(31:46):
believe in religion, maybe, you know, trying to focus on a
philosophy or a some sort of religion, whether that be
Christianity, you know, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, whatever.
I think a lot of those differentreligions can really help you
and help you forgive yourself. So I really don't think you're

(32:06):
damned to hell. I think it's a horrible way to
walk through life. Don't believe you're damned to
hell. Go get someone to forgive you.
Talk to somebody and you can move on from this.
You're stronger than you think, and I believe in you.
So does everyone else watching. Thank you so much for sending
this in and being vulnerable. This is the first step to moving
forward. You got this, man.

(32:27):
All right, thank you so much forsending on to the next one.
Hey, Snook. I'm a new subscriber.
So far, all of your content I'vebeen, she's been great.
I'm from a state in the Midwest.I needed a change my life due to
the feelings of Arrested Development and an increasingly
sedentary lifestyle becoming a real concern.
I've worked in the automotive industry for many years now, and

(32:49):
it's not like I'm even at a job.I love turning wrenches,
training up and coming mechanics, and seeing the relief
and appreciation of the faces ofhappy customers.
About 10 years ago, my company started expanding big time.
This expansion included a particular southern state, one
that my young son lived in with his mom, my boss and his boss,
and even his boss knew of my intentions to move down there to

(33:12):
be in his life. I was immediately chosen to take
over multiple occasions in this new southern market.
After getting situated in about 6 months, I started to put some
focus on finding a girlfriend with my final goal to be married
one day soon. I was living in an apartment
that had your typical laundry room.
One day a woman was finishing hers as I walked in to start

(33:33):
mine. We exchanged hellos and she
left. I started my wash and walked
back to my building. As I was walked by, I looked
over and saw the same woman watering a small plant she had
set up in a common area of the complex.
Later, as I went back to get my clothes, I left a note under the
pot with my number and an invitation to meet up the next
day. She called me and things took

(33:54):
off. We instantly clicked, laughing,
getting real, relaxing, philosophical, and eventually
having an amazing physical connection.
She met my son, she spent the night, she brought me lunch the
whole night. One day I came home and saw a
note saying that we are over. No more relationship ever.
That was legit crushed but I moved on.

(34:14):
One day my son and I were swimming and I saw her with what
turned out to be her husband. I was shocked and disgusted.
I'm a believer in monogamy. Seriously.
A week later I'm walking to the laundry room again and there
they are on the tailgate of her truck drinking.
They immediately started cussing, insulting and provoking
me. I told the dude that I had no
idea he even existed and her that she's pathetic and she

(34:35):
needs serious help. As I'm walking back to my place,
they jump in front of me and block me from getting to my
door. He advances on me holding a
knife and beer bottles as weapons.
Being from a concealed carry States and now living in another
one. I put my hand near my waistline,
ready to draw. I stumbled back in, begged them
to stop coming after me. I screamed from one father to
another, please don't do this. He immediately stopped and the

(34:59):
fire left his eyes. I went back in my apartment
shaking and crying. I never saw them after that,
don't know if they moved with what.
Ever since that day like 10 years ago, I cannot come to
terms with it. I cry when no one's around.
I have nightmares. I can't stop thinking how close
I came. He came, we all came to
disaster. Therapy is not helping.

(35:21):
My sons, stepdaughters and wife don't know how to help.
Only my wife knows the details. The kids just know that I'm sad
about something. I still enjoy target shooting at
the range with my son, but everytime we go I get this twinge of
PTSD. I'm glad everyone walked away
from this situation. I'm glad I'm not some maniacal
looking for a conflict. Sorry for the long story.

(35:42):
Thank you for all the content. I'm a happy subscriber.
And hey man, thank you so much for sharing this.
And I really think you should forgive yourself because you
know you showed restraint when you could have easily drawn them
and you didn't even draw on them.
That was a scary situation and Ithink you had every right to
feel the way you did. I don't think you were the wrong

(36:05):
because you just didn't know shewas married and she kind of went
into you because I mean, you know, she chose that and he was
just an asshole who luckily alsodidn't keep going after you.
But I don't think you should feel bad.
And PTSD can be a real thing, especially with that sort of
stuff. Like you said, therapy isn't

(36:26):
helping, but you know, it could be the wrong therapist.
It really could. Maybe find another therapist if
you can find a friend to talk to.
Find, you know, maybe a group ofpeople who have been caught in
circumstances like that, kind ofself-defense situations.
I know those groups exist. Maybe find people like you who
have been in similar situations.It was an unfortunate situation,

(36:50):
but it could have been a lot worse.
And I think you should just remember that, that I think
everything ended the best way itcould.
I don't think you should blame yourself that she's cheating.
You didn't know any better and Ithink it's all right.
I really think you should forgive yourself man, and you'll
get better. Just talk to people.
I believe in you. Thank you so much for sending on

(37:11):
to the next one. Hey Snook, I watched your recent
video about anonymous confessions and wanted to share
one of mine with you. I'm in my late 20s and I'm
working as a physician. I never really was interested in
medicine, but I digress. I live in a country where
training is a big issue for medical students.

(37:32):
During my years in college, I had no practical knowledge at
all. Couldn't even give a person an
IM injection, couldn't even prescribe medication without
looking up drug names on the Internet.
This is because for the whole duration of college we are
graded on textbook knowledge only, which is important as a
foundation, but in practice it'snot enough.
Due to my lack of practice experience after graduation, I
had many cases that could be labeled under malpractice as how

(37:56):
I handled them. I was trying the best I could to
manage the cases presented to me, but as I said, my lack of
experience was the determined factor here.
It starts with my years an internship where I was throwing
an ER alone without senior guidance to filter cases for the
senior doctors. This led to some critical cases
being marked as chronic for follow up, which looking back at

(38:17):
it probably led to them having permanent injury because of
this. Also I was given the task of
stitching wounds. I had never held a medical
forceps or a needle holder at that point, but I had to do it.
Some even face injuries after some time.
I was working in the health unitin some rural area.
One of my duties there was issuing death certificates after

(38:39):
diagnosing death, reporting unnatural deaths to the police.
I remember one day I got a call from a senior doctor about a 13
year old girl that had died and they needed me to go to handle
it. When it's someone that young, it
raises suspicion. The family arrived at the unit
and I went with them to their house and they had her lying on
the bed. She was certainly deceased, but
I couldn't find a plausible 'cause after getting some

(39:01):
history from the parents, it seemed like she maybe had a
brain infection. I thought viral meningitis,
maybe that's what I wrote in thedeath certificate.
Just when I got home I remembered organophosphate
poisoning, which was a common way of S word in rural area in
my country and matched the symptoms she had.
I called the senior doctor, toldhim about my suspicions and they
dismissed it. One of the employees in my

(39:23):
health unit told me doctors herenever alert the police about
unnatural deaths unless I had a weapon involved, but drowning or
overdosing isn't reported. You may think I live in a pretty
chaotic place and you will be right.
Thank you so much for sharing this and I really think you
shouldn't feel that bad about that.
You know, maybe you did. What's it called?

(39:45):
Misdiagnose the death certificate or other sort of
stuff. But it seems like you got put in
those scenarios. It's not like you've lied about
your certifications and then gotput in places you didn't know
how to handle. It seems like you just got put
in those places by higher ups and that's their fault.
You just got put in those. You could have said maybe, hey

(40:07):
guys, I don't know how to do this.
Maybe you did, I don't know. And same with the death
certificate. You even told them, hey guys, I
have suspicions about this. Maybe we should change this.
And they're like, who cares? So I think that's a lot of your
higher ups issues and maybe it'sjust the place you live.
They don't care that much about the details.
But interesting. I hope you're doing all right

(40:28):
and I'm sure you can learn a lotof lessons from the past
experiences you've had and hopefully you can move on and
improve. I believe in you.
Thank you so much for sharing and thank you.
And that wraps up some horrifying anonymous
confessions. I really appreciate everyone to
share these. I hope my feedback was somewhat

(40:50):
productive and helped you out. Like I like I've said previously
in other videos, I'm not a licensed therapist or anything.
I'm just a regular guy making videos.
But hopefully just some regular insight can help you.
And it seems like just getting alot of this off your chest helps
you guys. So just a place to let it off,
let stuff air out, so to say. And if you'd like to see your

(41:12):
confession in the future video, please send to the e-mail in the
description. I read through them all and even
if they don't all get into a video, I still read them all and
we'll probably respond. So please sending them in if you
have anything to get off your chest.
I appreciate you guys watching. At the end of the video, please
like and subscribe. It helps out a ton because of
the best. Thank you so much for watching.
And this is Snook and I'll see you next time.

(41:35):
Bye.