July 7, 2025 • 42 mins
A huge thank you for everyone who submitted their confessions, and thank you for the support on these videos! I love creating this safe space for you all to get some stuff off of your chest... and I appreciate all of the emails! I’m sorry I can’t include them all in each video, but I try to read everyone! Feel free to send in whatever you feel fits, and try to label your emails as 'Confessions' when you send them in! Thanks!If you want your confession in a future video, email here - officialsnook23@gmail.comThank you for watching! You all are the best! Thank you for the support!Stay safe, and I love ya!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey, what's up guys and welcome back to another Anonymous
confessions video. You guys have been loving these
Anonymous confessions videos a lot, so I'm going to keep
recording them as long as you guys keep watching them.
I really appreciate you guys stopping by.
It means a lot. And these are all viewers
submitted confessions. These are some things you guys
wanted to get off your chest or let the world know and say sorry
(00:21):
for I guess. And if you would like to see
your confession in a future video, send it to the e-mail
that is on screen now. I try to include them all.
Some of them are not within YouTube guidelines, so I can't
include those, but please feel free to send it in.
I'll probably reply. And I really appreciate it.
And also, please like the video and subscribe to the channel.
(00:43):
It helps more than you need to know.
The channel's goal is 1,000,000 subscribers now.
So please subscribe so we can, you know, get close to that
goal. And so I'd just love for you to
join the community if you're notalready subscribed.
And all right, without further ado, let's get into some
sinister anonymous confessions. Hey Snook, I only recently
started watching your videos, but I think this would make for
(01:03):
an interesting story. As with others, I wish to remain
anonymous. The statue of limitations has
expired for this, considering nothing ended up happening, so
I'm not too worried about legal issues.
This happened in the mid to late2000 Tens.
The limitation is five years in my state.
I almost paid someone to kill someone else.
(01:25):
Emphasis on almost. I did not go through with it,
but I was close. There's no excuse for it.
I had no good justification, butI can't change the past now.
I actually don't remember the names at this point, so we'll
call my friend Josh and the almost victim Drake.
Now Drake was annoying as hell. Hyena laugh, always effing with
(01:48):
people, always getting into trouble.
Most kids hated him. Josh and I especially did not
like him. Josh himself was a very weird
dude, had this aura like he's been through and done some dark
shit. So it wasn't.
All that surprising to learn he wanted to snap Drake's neck.
I offered him to pay him to do it.
(02:08):
I don't remember the amount at this point.
Not like it matters. And so the money was out right
over his hand, and I took it away at the last second.
I couldn't do it, not for the crime of just being annoying.
Josh was disappointed, but didn't give me shit for it
either. Nobody ever knew, definitely not
Drake. Only reasoning I can think of
(02:29):
for me going that far to the dark side is I was a very angry
and bitter teenager. I hated everyone and didn't
think I'd live past high school.None of that is an excuse, but
it's a potential reason. It doesn't scare me as much as
it used to, but I've never even considered something this dark.
Since this happened I've also stopped being so bitter, so that
(02:50):
helps. I haven't talked to Josh since
high school. I don't think I want to anyway.
Thank you if you do end up reading this, I hope it made
sense as my memory is fuzzy considering how long it's been.
No one is safe to pass. Hey Snook, I'm writing this
after watching your most recent Confessions video.
(03:12):
In It's a rider confessed to an incident where they were
reckless when attempting to passsomeone on the road.
They aren't alone in this poor judgement.
A smidge of context. In high school I was an awful
mental place. Toxic friendships, family
issues, I was spiraling even when I felt calm.
That's the part of mental instability no one makes a point
(03:34):
of. You lose yourself confidently
sometimes anyway. On to the.
Confession I was driving an hourand a half to a friend's cabin.
I had a strained relationship with this person and had a lot
of my mind during the drive. A lot of self-confidence issues,
worries over this friend and ourmutual connections talking bad
about me behind my back. I was incredibly paranoid and
(03:57):
kept thinking he would think less of me if I was late.
He was cruel to me in a lot of ways and did gossip about me,
but that's not relevant. During my drive, I, alongside 5
or 6 other cars, got caught behind this massive camper.
It was going 5 to 10 below the speed limit and I was deeply
annoyed. I couldn't be late to spending a
(04:18):
shitty weekend with my shitty friend though, so I figured I
would pass the camper. I was a relatively new driver,
only a few years under my belt. I was a car behind the camper,
so three of us bummer to bumper in a single lane.
It was the summer and I don't know if you're familiar, but
lake traffic can dominate roads up here.
The opposite traffic was equallycongested and I knew passing
(04:40):
would be a stupid idea. I still went for it.
It was like my mind went blank. I truly didn't care if I crashed
and died. I wasn't well.
I was just driving to please this friend.
I kept inching back and forth trying to gauge a good time to
pass these two vehicles. I hardly passed cars, let alone
a truck towing a massive traileror camper before, let alone a
(05:04):
car and a camper. I go to pass.
I made the wrong call. My car was a piece of shit, a
2002 Chevy Trailblazer. It wasn't a good car, but it was
mine. It couldn't accelerate quickly,
I knew that. I thought I had time.
I stared forward, flat expression and not an ounce of
adrenaline. I watched as a red sedan came
(05:26):
towards me, followed by a trail of traffic.
I didn't return my position. I speed up.
I believed I wouldn't crash. I would make it.
I wanted to apologize to whoeverwas in that car, to everyone on
the road that day. I didn't back down, but that
sedan did. They quickly went onto the
(05:46):
shoulder, and before the second car could reach me, I managed to
get in front of the camper and on to safety.
No one honked their horn. No one screamed in a way I could
hear, though I imagine many did.It was silent and I speed down
that County Road away from my bullshit.
As far as I could tell, no one got hurt, no one got driven into
(06:07):
a ditch or whatever else, but I definitely gambled with my life
and many other drivers on the road that day.
I didn't feel anything for a minute during that Dr. stunned
shock over my actions. Maybe, but my other feeling was
delayed. It wasn't the first time I would
get it that way. There were other moments where I
would just steer into the way like I wanted to or wasn't
(06:27):
concerned with getting struck. I would even drive Stone later
that year, barely able to stop my eyes from shaking.
I made poor judgment after poor judgment.
Thankfully, this idiocy hasn't persisted today.
A word of warning to drivers, new or old.
If you aren't of sound mind, youmust play it safe behind the
wheel. Keep yourself in check.
(06:48):
Always assume that anything you do could lead to someone's
death. You're operating a massive hunk
of metal hurling down the road. Don't be a moron.
My biggest regret has been that day my actions.
Even though no one got hurt, that was due to dumb luck if my
car sputtered even a little bit more.
(07:08):
If that sedan hadn't pulled over, I wouldn't be riding this.
I would have caused a massive pile up as well, resulting in
more lives lost. Get help if you can relate to
me. Talk about your feelings.
Don't disregard yourself in yourown life if your friends take up
all of your Gray matter. You need to do some.
Serious introspection on why that is and if you're healthy.
(07:32):
I knew I wasn't well and still didn't do anything until I was
staring down a red sedan. Learn from me.
Oh in that cabin Stay awful. I hated every second of it.
If somehow the guy I stayed withis watching this and recognizes
the few clues I've left to who Iam, fuck you buddy.
(07:53):
I hope whoever spends time with you now has a kinder version
than the one I knew for six years.
Confession. I feel responsible for the
murder of my best friends. Hi Snook.
I've never told anyone this, noteven my therapist.
Sorry for how long this is, but I'd like to get this off my
(08:14):
chest. Please keep me anonymous.
I'll start by saying I'm autistic and I've always had a
hard time making friends and I'mnot very popular.
Growing up there were two girls living down the street from me.
They were 9:00 and 12:00. I was 13.
They were basically my only friends at the time and we hung
out often. They had an older cousin who
(08:35):
lived with them around 20 I believe.
I'll call him Skyler, not his real name.
He wasn't neurotypical and was often incredibly mean to me
because I'm autistic and had been called the R word
frequently in school. I was am to an extent, still am
of the view that autistic and other neurodivergent people are
(08:56):
allowed to reclaim the word. One day we're at the park.
Me and Skyler got into a fight. He was supposed to look after us
at the park but when my friend the 9 year old fell and got hurt
and started crying he just told her to shut the F up.
I snapped at him be as mean to me as you want but I'm not cool
with you effing with my friends and that's true to this day.
(09:18):
I called Tyler AF ING R word T word and that's similar to I was
written so yeah make up that what you want words I regret to
this day. I stormed off back to my house
crying. My friend the 12 year old
followed me home and try to calmme down.
She was so nice and kind, I wishI would have listened to her
(09:39):
instead of pushing her away. I'm so sorry.
A few days later their cousin went on a rant on Facebook.
I don't remember what he said and I can't get myself to look
but he said stuff along the lines of people in this world
are so cruel and I hope the nextone is better and I won't go
alone, we will be happy in the next life etcetera.
(10:00):
That night he snapped and ended the lives of my two friends,
their parents, their dog, and himself.
I know I'm not the only one who was mean to him, he went through
the same shit at work and probably at college to an
extent, but I can't deny that I said that I'm probably the straw
(10:22):
that broke his back. Again, I have not told anyone
and sorry if this wasn't concise.
I'm very emotional about this. It's been years since this, but
I feel like it should have been me.
I've never said the R words since, not even amongst my
friends, even though it is stillmy view that it's not bad for
neurodivergent people to say it.I'm much more aware of how much
(10:44):
impact words have on people. But I just can't shake the
feeling that if I was never their friend, if I was never
born, even then they would stillbe here.
I'm so sorry. I don't think there's an
afterlife but if there is an afterlife I hope they someday
forgive me but I know I'm going to hell.
(11:04):
PS I'm not S word. It might sound like I am from
some of what I said but I promise I'm not.
Thank you so much for listening.Need to get this off my chest
and if it makes it into a video feel free to share your
thoughts. And wow that one.
This is heavy not going to lie. I really hope you're doing
(11:25):
better. I did not expect it to take that
turn. I'm not a therapist.
I'm just going to give my honestthoughts, I think, and some
general thoughts. I really think you should talk
to a therapist. That is a huge thing for someone
to go through and I really hope you're doing better now.
(11:45):
But I also don't think you should blame yourself.
That guy, to do that, what he did, there has to be a lot more
going on. He has to be off his rocker a
little bit. That's just wow, I'm I'm blown
away. I really hope you can maybe find
(12:08):
some peace with a therapist or something like that.
I really think you should go talk to somebody like that.
I think it'll help you out, you know, take some weight off of
your shoulders. This is insane to hold just
yourself. It really is, and I wouldn't
keep blaming yourself. I really don't think it's your
fault. Words do have, you know, impact,
(12:30):
but he in that scenario you described, it sounded like he
deserved it. I would have probably done the
exact same thing. There was probably a lot going
on in that guy's life to do whathe did.
And I yeah, I just my final thoughts are kind of please get
a therapist or tell a trusted somebody.
(12:53):
Tell trusted somebody in your life, somebody you trust,
whether that's a friend, teacher, family, whatever, You
really should talk to somebody. I hope you're doing better.
And yeah, much love. Things will get better, but
thank you so much for sharing. On to the next one.
(13:14):
I stole money from my special needs cousin.
Hello Snook. After seeing your YouTube video,
I decided to confess. This may be more tame than your
other confessions, but I need toget this off my chest.
When I was 13 I stole money frommy special needs cousin.
I can't remember how much it wasbut I just know I took it for
(13:34):
context even though it's not a good excuse.
She has stolen a lot for me, like money, tarot cards, Pokémon
cards, incense, etcetera. Because my mom watches my
cousin. When her mom goes to work, she
watches her and sometimes bringsher purse if they're going out
to eat or something like that. I knew she carried money with
her. I was fed up with her stealing
(13:55):
stuff from me so I stole stuff from her.
She left it at our house one dayand I got into it, took the
money and put it back. I'm not sure if she knows or her
mom knows and just shrugged it off as her just being special
needs or faking. I know this is a horrible thing
to do. I won't blame my past abuse for
stealing like many people in your videos do or anything taboo
(14:16):
they shouldn't do. Anyways, this is my confession.
This is obviously free for you to use in a video, but I doubt
you will. Hello Snook, Let me start by
saying that I love your videos and always look forward to
seeing them, especially your confessions video.
I'm so glad I found your channel.
(14:36):
Thank you so much for the kind words, I really appreciate it.
You're anonymous Confessions videos have inspired me to
submit my own confession, so here it is.
For context, I'm someone who is on the autism spectrum, although
I'm more on the high functioningside.
Why I need to include this is because I feel it contributes to
my confession. I know people diagnosed with
(14:57):
autism slash Asperger's feel, think and act a certain way
that's different from neurotypical people and that
there are no way dangerous to others.
I on the other hand, can't help but sense that I may just be
that though, as the way I feel and the way I think goes to way
way darker, more sinister territory.
(15:19):
I constantly have thoughts aboutinflicting harm to not only
strangers, but also to certain close family members and even my
significant other. I think of different ways as how
to harm them all, which is actually a lot.
Whether I have access to things to use or not, whether I have
access to sharp objects, firearms, substances,
(15:40):
flammables, you name it. It doesn't even matter the age
or race of people. I've thought of it all.
I think about how satisfied I'd be to watch the life of people
fade away by my own doing. To see the horror on their
faces, the sparkle in their eyesdim.
To hear them cry and beg. I watch a lot of true crime.
Documentaries and wonder if someday I'll end up featured in
(16:03):
some due to the thoughts I inhibit and if I end up snapping
and acting on set thoughts. I'm obviously antisocial as
you'd expect. I have no people skills, don't
know how to keep relationships. I've job hop from place to place
because I can't stand people to an extreme degree.
I've gotten complaints at work about how the aggressive way I
interact with the clientele. I even almost got fired from my
(16:24):
last job because I pulled pepperspray on a man in front of his
own child just because I didn't like his attitude.
The same can be said for when itcomes to certain family members.
For example, I have a cousin whoso desperately wishes to have
children with her partner, but because I happen to personally
not really like her for whateverreason, I intrusively think
(16:46):
about me punching her in the stomach so that she'd suffer a
miscarriage and be depressed. I also have an aunt who I will
admit loves a good bottle of wine, and yet I imagine myself
bashing a bottle on her head andwonder how delighted it'd be to
hear the shatter of the glass break on her head, maybe even
some shards breaking skin and causing her head to bleed.
(17:08):
With my significant other who I've been together with for
almost 10 years. While I do love them with all my
heart, I also wish sometimes they die, even if it's by my own
hand. If we were to get an argument, I
think about either strangling them or using some sort of
weapon on them. I'm sure you get my point here.
Like yeah, I know it's not normal to not like everybody and
not want to affiliate with them no matter if it's my bloodline
(17:30):
or they're a stranger, but I seriously feel like it'd be best
to hurt them or better yet, to get rid of them one way or
another. However, I know that this is no
way to think. It's unhealthy at best, but I
can't help it, nor do I know howto stop from having these
thoughts. The most I've done to get help
from myself is go to my primary doctor and ask if I could be
(17:52):
given some sort of medication, which I have been prescribed
antidepressants as a starter. But a primary family doctor can
only do so much without me goingto a more qualified Dr. like a
therapist slash psychiatrist. I know I need to seek other ways
to get help, but I fear that of getting the appropriate help I
need, I'll instead be admitted somewhere or whatever.
(18:13):
That's pretty much it for this anonymous confession.
I'm sorry if it's a lengthy 1, I'll leave it up to you if you
want to give some sort of response or not.
And I thank you for giving me and others a safe space to send
confessions like this. Keep up the good work.
And all right, I think I'll haveto leave my thoughts on this
one. And you did say you went to a
(18:33):
doctor and got antidepressants. I probably for stuff like this,
I don't know, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a therapist.
But, you know, instead of getting instantly onto
medication, I think you should really talk to somebody, dude.
And, you know, sometimes medications can make people feel
(18:54):
certain ways, even if it's supposed to make them less
depressed, like antidepressants.And so instead of going to a
primary Doctor Who isn't very, you know, fielded in that sort
of stuff, I would go to a psychiatrist.
Please go to a psychiatrist, go to the therapist.
You could be better diagnosed and properly medicated instead
of just a regular doctor. I really think you should go to
(19:16):
a therapist. Go to a psychiatrist.
I can't tell you whether or, well, whether or not you will
get admitted to somewhere, but you know, it's worth a shot.
Dude. I really think you should, you
know, get this figured out. Talk to somebody before.
Like you said, you snap and you do something you will regret.
(19:39):
Yeah, please do talk to psychiatrist, talk to a
therapist, talk to somebody. And I think just getting it out
to somebody would help. Just talk about it and that
might help alleviate it. You know, sometimes people are
really annoying, but to think ofyour significant other, to think
of family, to think of strangersand want to, you know, hurt them
(20:00):
all, that is not positive. So my final thoughts, please go
talk to a psychiatrist, please. Go talk to a therapist please.
Or just talk to somebody before this could get out of hand.
Keep spiraling, which a lot of stuff like this can and will do.
Like I said, not a therapist, I'm not a doctor, but those are
(20:22):
just some general things I know.And I think it's best if you go
to a psychiatrist and get properly medicated or properly
diagnosed. But for this, I think you should
really just talk to somebody. I think that'd be very positive
for you. Thank you so much for sharing.
I appreciate the kind of words. And on to the next one.
(20:45):
I think I'm the reason my grandfather committed S word.
Hi Snook, I'm a big fan of your channel and started watching at
the start of this year. I don't know if my story really
fits, but it's something I've struggled with for a while and
felt that I need to share. I hope it helps someone else who
might be going through the same thing.
If you do share my story, I ask that you please keep me
anonymous. Much love and on to my story.
(21:09):
Two years ago my grandfather committed S word.
There was no note, no phone call, just nothing.
His neighbor found him. I will never forget the way I
felt when my dad told me he diedand how he passed and I can't
help but think it was my fault. You see, I've been avoiding this
calls for a while. He was a good man and I loved
(21:31):
him greatly, but he was also a hard man.
He always found a way to point out my flaws, how my friends
were bad to me, how I was going to do great things.
I was his favorite grandchild and the pressure was hard on me
so I started shutting him out. I know it's not my fault he made
a choice that he can't take back, but deep down I still feel
like it's my fault. I don't think I can ever forgive
(21:54):
him. After my grandmother, his wife,
died, we tried so hard to get him to move closer to us, but he
wouldn't do it. He locked himself away from the
world in that lonely house and drove himself to S word.
He knew he was loved and he knewwe would help.
But he left and now I have to live with that.
I don't really know how to end this, so I'll leave with this.
(22:18):
No matter how alone you feel or how desperate you are, S word is
not the answer. It affects so many people you
might not even know. I have never been the same since
it happened to me. I still have nightmares about
his actions and is something that will haunt me forever.
That is what will happen to everyone around you.
(22:41):
Please talk to someone, anyone. There are resources for you and
you are loved even if you don't feel like it.
Thank you for reading the Snook.I love your channel and
everything you're doing. If you have any thoughts, feel
free to share. Thank you for giving us a place
to share. Thank you so much for, you know,
(23:01):
sharing this. I really appreciate it and I'm
so sorry that I had to censor and self censor saying the S
word. I had to or else, you know,
YouTube doesn't show it to nearly as many people.
So I'm sorry. I felt like it was very
disrespectful to do that. But you know, for people to view
the video, I kind of have to without out of the way.
(23:22):
I like I said in the past ones, but I think you yourself, you
yourself should talk to somebody.
I know you gave that. I don't know if you are, but I
really don't think you should carry the weight around that you
feel like it was your fault. That's a heavyweight to carry
around. And I think that, you know, talk
(23:44):
to somebody and in reality, it'sprobably not your fault.
You know, I, I don't know the whole situation, but I would
just, you know, get a therapist,get somebody to talk to.
I really hope you're doing better because that's a big
thing to not forgive yourself for.
(24:04):
And I hope you can because I can't imagine that.
I really hope you're doing better now and your family as a
whole is doing better now. I really wish you much love.
And yeah, just talk to somebody,therapist, friend, family.
I don't know if you are, like I said, but you know, just talk to
somebody. Help so much and same with
(24:26):
everyone else is confessions I've covered.
Just talk to somebody really makes things better.
It's not healthy. It's not good to keep it to
yourself. That is never the right answer.
So thank you so much for sharingthis and thank you so much for
the words at the end of your confession.
I should really, really hope that helps somebody out here.
(24:47):
And that is the exact reason to make these videos so people feel
like they're not alone in their scenario.
And I just love this place to share.
And I'll keep making these videos as long as you guys keep,
you know, sending in confessionsbecause I just feel like it's
great to have people have this place to share.
(25:09):
And I know I'm kind of rambling a lot in this video, but I think
it's, you know, whatever I'm giving my thoughts and yeah,
everybody out there, talk to somebody.
Get off your chest. It's not healthy to keep it in.
Thank you so much for sharing, much love, I hope you keep doing
better and just take it a day ata time.
On to the next one. My brother is a substance addict
(25:33):
and my parents don't know. Hi Snook, this is now my second
time submitting A confession butmy first is probably too graphic
for YouTube. I love listening to your videos
while I'm trying to fall asleep or while I work.
Anyways, like the title says, mybrother is basically a substance
addict and I'm not sure what I should do.
(25:54):
My brother is now 22 but he started smoking grass when he
was in his teens and still living at home.
Since then he's basically becomeaddicted to grass.
He says it helps him with his ADHD even though he's already on
Adderall. Since my brother moved out he's
gotten really into rave culture,and with that culture comes the
substances. He's tried so many substances.
(26:16):
Basically everything except Breaking Bad, Crystal and Jesse
Pinkman laying on the bed substance.
He takes M and tab of substance regularly while it raves and
also while at home. I worry about what these things
are doing to his body and his brain.
It's not like he's some homelessjobless bum.
(26:40):
He actually has a really good job and owns his house.
But even still I know how easilyit is to get addicted to this
things. I've tried to bring up these
things to my parents without saying hey my brother is doing
hard substances but they just say don't want to know what he's
doing at the raves. I feel like there's no one I can
confine in and I don't want to be the one to say to my brother.
(27:01):
I've always had a weird relationship with my brother and
since he's older than me I don'tfeel like I'm in a position of
authority to be telling him to stop or that I'm worried.
Any advice from you or any viewers would be much
appreciated. I just feel burdened with this
information and needed to tell someone.
Thank you for reading and I tried to keep this brief but I
word vomited a bit. Take care, Mr. And I just have
(27:26):
to say that is I'm blown away byhow much you care.
I guarantee a lot of people knowfamily members that are Subs
addicts. And sorry, I had to censor this
one as well. But you care a lot about your
brother and that's very commendable.
And that's wow. I'm just blown away by how much
(27:46):
you care. And that's awesome that you, you
know, care so much about your brother, although I'm not sure
what route you should take. Maybe talk to your parents more.
But if they don't care, then, you know, that's tough.
Or maybe bring it up to your brother.
Sometimes he may not realize what he's doing is so bad.
You know, he if he's in sort of a crowd like that, everyone's
(28:07):
doing it or doing stuff like that.
You know, he's like, OK, this isnormal.
This is fine. I'm not doing too much damage to
myself or my brain. But if you come out and be like,
hey, dude, I've just been worried about you that could hit
him like a truck, I think that'sdefinitely worth it.
And even though you're the younger brother, I still think
(28:28):
that even has almost more weight.
You know, his younger brother coming to almost, you know, lay
down the law and be like, yo, dude, this is bad for you.
So even though he's older than you and I think you should just
talk to him, you know, nothing crazy, but just try to be
honest. Don't come out.
(28:49):
Don't come out from the, you know, authoritative, kind of
pointed at them and just being like, hey, this is bad and start
criticizing them. Don't criticize them.
I think that's when you could get defensive and not listen to
you at all. But I think if you come from
kind of this direction, which you came in this confession and
wrote this way, I think if you come from the very, you know,
(29:11):
adoring and kind of emotional way of approaching, it would be
the best. I don't know if that makes
sense. I just were vomited a lot.
But I think if you approach it very caringly, that'd be the
best way to do it. I think you should.
And yeah, stuff like that's not good for you in the long run.
(29:32):
I I'm not saying it's bad at 100%, but if he's doing it all
the time, it can definitely leadhim down a dark path.
Like you said, he's not homeless, which is great, but
you never know if he keeps goingdown this path, he could, you
know, addiction's a crazy thing.I think that's all my thoughts.
(29:53):
I don't know if this makes any sense.
I don't know if everyone just clicked off the video after
hearing this rant, but yeah, I really appreciate you sharing
this and you seem like a very caring person.
That's very commendable. Great work and much love.
And e-mail me back if you do talk to him, I'd love to hear.
How it went. Anyways, thanks so much for
(30:16):
sending on to the next one. Confession.
I am all right with being a narcissist.
Hey Snook, I've been watching your videos for a while now and
I enjoyed them so I decided I would confess as well.
This is a glimpse into a brain riddled with narcissism.
I have been diagnosed with a multitude of disorders.
(30:39):
My genetics and upbringing are unfortunately both not great.
What I want to talk about thoughis my NPD Narcissistic
personality disorder, as well astraits of other cluster B
personality disorders. I'm a young adult male.
This is me almost entirely unmasking.
I'm very apathetic, especially towards people.
(31:01):
I don't understand them. I've spent my entire life trying
my absolute best to be normal, to feel empathy or to understand
how people usually function, andit's very clear to me that I
never will function like them. It's weird.
I make friends extremely easily.I'm charming, I'm smart and
aware of it. I'm not extremely intelligent,
(31:22):
but I still consider myself smart and other people do as
well. People trust me easily.
Yet Despite that some have picked up on the empty look of
my eyes. They tell me I always look like
I'm a behind a thick mist, unreachable in a way.
Despite having so many people around, I care about almost none
of them. I wouldn't mind if something
(31:42):
happened to them. I wouldn't mind if they cut me
off. Every single conversation and
relationship is transactional tome.
I don't confined in people aboutthe depths of my apathy, but I'm
sure a lot of them suspect something is not entirely right.
I wish I wasn't cursed like this, but oddly enough I also
don't mind it too much. I believe my narcissism makes me
(32:04):
inherently better and that my personality traits are just
overall superior. Despite being in therapy for
many years now, I don't think I will entirely overcome this and
I'm content with that. I lie easily.
I used to steal it got boring soI don't feel the need to anymore
and I'll always be at the centerof my own world.
I don't understand how anyone can value someone else above
(32:26):
themselves, and I don't understand how my condition
isn't the norm. My life is a big pretending
game. Oddly enough, I do feel a
connection to some animals. I really love my 2 cats before
they both left. My life and circumstances I
won't delve into now. The story is awful and I miss
them greatly. This is one of the only
instances where I know I felt love.
(32:48):
I don't feel broken. I am aware that there's a lot
wrong with the way I function, but I've realized I have a
limited range of motion with howmuch I can truly change.
I am trying to do better to contain any outbursts of anger
to conceal my apathy so I don't hurt those around me, and this
is the best I can do. Maybe someone can relate to this
(33:10):
or find it interesting. If you have any input snooker
viewers, feel free to share. I do want to say that I won't
take advice because nothing has ever changed the way I function,
but I'm curious as to what others have to say on this
matter in a right. I really don't have anything to
say because you know, you said you weren't even open to advice
(33:30):
so I don't know if I'll leave much of anything.
People I'm sure down below will leave some comments and you
know, it seems like you're doingall right.
You obviously think very highly of yourself and confidence isn't
bad thing, but it seems like youare almost wearing this
narcissism as a superpower almost, even though that's
(33:54):
probably not the case, you know?Treating every relationship as
transactional will 1000% have its drawbacks.
You may not find a girlfriend ora boyfriend or whatever you're
looking for. You know, you might.
But you know, a lot of people would like to feel genuinely
(34:14):
loved. And if you don't care about
that, then Oh, well, you know, Idon't really know where I'm
going with that, but it'll have its drawbacks.
If you don't want to help and itseems like you don't want help.
So what does anyone to do? I'd recommend, you know, maybe
go into therapy with more of an open mind.
It seems like you don't have much of an open mind to this,
but it's up to you and everyone watching.
(34:36):
Please leave some feedback on tothis guy.
And it seems like you want some advice or doesn't want advice,
but just wants, you know, thoughts.
And thanks for sharing. On to the next one.
Hey again Snook, I love your videos and enjoy the
confessions. I enjoy listening to what you
put out and still think you deserve to have 500,000
(34:59):
followers. I have a confession for you, one
that I know people will get angry over but I myself am
struggling with it due to the biases, personal experiences and
overall perception of it. I cannot accept the fact that
I've 34, male, been diagnosed with borderline personality
disorder. To start this off, let's go back
about 10 years to when I got arrested.
(35:21):
Back in the day, I was deep in the throes of alcoholism.
I was a raging alcoholic and gotarrested for drunk driving.
I know it was wrong, and I'm still deeply ashamed that I was
selfish and stupid enough to drive in blackouts, but when
you're sick to that caliber, youcan justify anything as long as
you can get your hands on another drink.
(35:42):
So there I was, in trouble with the law.
One of the things I had to do was go to court order therapy.
There I discovered that I was self medicated and for a slew of
mental problems I wasn't aware of.
Bipolar disorder, intermittent explosive disorder, generalized
anxiety disorder, and a fourth one I'll get to in a moment.
(36:03):
I kept the therapy but ditched the bottle.
To date I've been sober for 10 years.
May 29th, 2025 was my tenth yearanniversary.
But this is where the confessionstarts.
As time has gone on I've been struggling with my mind.
I've been in the hospital 4 times for horrible depressive
episodes, getting worse with each episode.
(36:24):
At first it was general horribledepression and the wanting to
die. But then it started getting
scary. I started having visual
hallucinations. I was getting more and more
paranoid that people were in my house are stalking me and I hear
voices not only telling me to commit S word but also
screaming. Literally screaming at me in
(36:45):
languages I didn't understand. I know they were yelling at me
in Russian, French, and Korean, but I can't tell you exactly
what they were saying. I just know they were loud and
angry at first. The doctors knew there was a
fourth thing there but didn't quite know what it was the
fourth time in the hospital I told the doctors about the
hallucinations and the voices and he finally concluded that I
(37:07):
had schizoaffective disorder. I was having the mood swings in
the hallucinations, in the paranoia.
Plus my mom's mom has schizophrenia, bipolar as it was
called back in the day, so I could chalk it up to genetics.
My grandma was cat shit crazy. Been in and out of hospitals as
well. Was on 1st generation
psychotropic medications, had the uncontrollable twitches and
(37:29):
lip smacking in the schizophrenic shuffle because of
said medications. It just made sense to me.
I could accept that. Still miss the hell out of my
grandma, but that's irrelevant. Then my therapist and I looked
over my case notes a few months ago and someone had changed my
diagnosis to Borderline Personality disorder subtitle.
Everything else was the same. Still angry, still bipolar,
(37:52):
still twitchy and anxiety ridden.
But this BPD edition was new andI knew nothing about it.
I argued that it wasn't right and I was told no, I have
schizoaffective disorder. But he pulled out the DSM 5, the
big book of mental disorders, and lo and behold, my symptoms
closer match borderline. Not satisfied with this, I
(38:13):
decided to go to an actual psychiatrist for a second
opinion. I met with her a few times.
We talked and into my third meeting I asked her do I really
fit borderline personality disorder?
She nodded and said yeah, you have a rather strong case for
it. I don't know why, but my brain
cannot accept this diagnosis. Even though I know all the
(38:33):
evidence is right there in my face.
The logic part of my brain says,hey man, if two professionals
look you over and you know damn well the signs are there, but
the emotional side of my head islike, but you're literally not
like the quote UN quote psycho woman you've dated.
Look, I know that last bit isn'tcorrect to say, but that's how
my brain justifies it even though I know it's wrong.
(38:54):
And yeah, I've dated at least three women who've claimed that
they have borderline personalitydisorder, and they were all off
their effing rockers. One tried to stab me when we got
into an argument and I wanted toleave, then threatened to call
the cops and tell them I cut herup.
One put me in a position where Ihad to choose between my stuff
and my car. Her justification was, well,
(39:15):
since you're guarding your car, I'll just go destroy your
things. But if I tried to leave she'd go
welp looks like I'm busting out your windows and slashing your
tires and sending your seats on fire.
The third one was straight up tried kicking me out of a
two-story bedroom window and threatened to call the cops and
claimed I jumped after we had argument and I again tried to
leave. Things were great when they were
(39:36):
great but they get scary when I did so much as half assed
answered something or didn't saythe right thing or looked at
them funny. The thing I'm struggling with
the most is that whole I need you to stay in my life to the
point I'm going to effing ruin you or hurt myself part.
I've gotten to the point where Idon't care if you're in my life
or not. Nowadays I have like 2 close
(39:56):
friends and my wife and that's all I really need.
I'm not vindictive, I'm not suffocating, I'm not spiteful or
threatening violent. If anyone wants to leave, hell
if my wife just wants to up and leave me one day I think I'd be
semi OK with it. I try to talk it out and figure
out how to fix it, but I'm not going to threaten to cut her up
or stab her or call the cops or bust her shit if she left.
(40:18):
It's just like, OK, one less person to talk to, whatever.
I've been through more than my fair share of traumatic events
that got me here. I struggle with the delusions,
the depression, the latching on to new people until I get bored
of them, the empty and hollow feeling I have all the time.
But that relationship one just doesn't resonate with me at all.
(40:38):
I'm just at a dissonance where Iknow I'm ill with this.
This is my reality now. I fit a lot of criteria to AT,
but it seems like it would be easier to cope with it if I was
schizophrenic. It feels like I'd accept it if I
was a shrambling mess of ramblings and illogical thoughts
and a raging psycho who can't hold relationships.
(40:59):
Do I know it's wrong to generalize Absolute?
Am I aware that everyone is different and not everyone
living with BBD is like what I mentioned Again, Absolutely.
Can I breakthrough those stereotypes and generalize
illogical ideas even though I know they're not all correct?
Not at all. I know I'm going to get
assaulted in the comments for what I said.
(41:20):
I'm working with two different psychiatric specialists to help
me come to terms with these uglyand hurtful feelings.
I feel like a piece of shit for not being able to differentiate
what I feel and what is actuallyreal.
My therapist says that it'll take some time to become
destigmatized to what BPD looks and feels like to me, but at the
meantime my mind can't stop telling me it would just be
(41:42):
easier if I was cat shit crazy like my grandma.
Thanks for reading Snook. Apologies this was so long.
Keep up the good work and thank you for giving us the space to
air out. And with that final confession,
that wraps up today's video. That wraps up some sinister
(42:02):
anonymous confessions. Please leave some comments for
everyone who submitted. They all appreciate it so much.
And if you have a confession youwould like to submit, please
submit to the e-mail in the description or in my YouTube
about section or in the one in the beat of the video.
I read every single confession. So please send in some
(42:23):
confessions or if you do have anything to get off your chest.
And just remember, whatever you send could be in a video in
public like this. So they're all anonymous, but
still the information is public.Thank you so much for everyone
to sent in a confession. Thank you so much to everyone
who's still watching. And if you are still watching,
please like and subscribe. It helps more than you know.
(42:46):
And yeah. All right, thank you so much for
watching to the end. You guys are the best.
This was snuck and I'll see you next time.
Bye.
Hey, what's up guys and welcome back to another Anonymous
confessions video. You guys have been loving these
Anonymous confessions videos a lot, so I'm going to keep
recording them as long as you guys keep watching them.
I really appreciate you guys stopping by.
It means a lot. And these are all viewers
submitted confessions. These are some things you guys
wanted to get off your chest or let the world know and say sorry
(00:21):
for I guess. And if you would like to see
your confession in a future video, send it to the e-mail
that is on screen now. I try to include them all.
Some of them are not within YouTube guidelines, so I can't
include those, but please feel free to send it in.
I'll probably reply. And I really appreciate it.
And also, please like the video and subscribe to the channel.
(00:43):
It helps more than you need to know.
The channel's goal is 1,000,000 subscribers now.
So please subscribe so we can, you know, get close to that
goal. And so I'd just love for you to
join the community if you're notalready subscribed.
And all right, without further ado, let's get into some
sinister anonymous confessions. Hey Snook, I only recently
started watching your videos, but I think this would make for
(01:03):
an interesting story. As with others, I wish to remain
anonymous. The statue of limitations has
expired for this, considering nothing ended up happening, so
I'm not too worried about legal issues.
This happened in the mid to late2000 Tens.
The limitation is five years in my state.
I almost paid someone to kill someone else.
(01:25):
Emphasis on almost. I did not go through with it,
but I was close. There's no excuse for it.
I had no good justification, butI can't change the past now.
I actually don't remember the names at this point, so we'll
call my friend Josh and the almost victim Drake.
Now Drake was annoying as hell. Hyena laugh, always effing with
(01:48):
people, always getting into trouble.
Most kids hated him. Josh and I especially did not
like him. Josh himself was a very weird
dude, had this aura like he's been through and done some dark
shit. So it wasn't.
All that surprising to learn he wanted to snap Drake's neck.
I offered him to pay him to do it.
(02:08):
I don't remember the amount at this point.
Not like it matters. And so the money was out right
over his hand, and I took it away at the last second.
I couldn't do it, not for the crime of just being annoying.
Josh was disappointed, but didn't give me shit for it
either. Nobody ever knew, definitely not
Drake. Only reasoning I can think of
(02:29):
for me going that far to the dark side is I was a very angry
and bitter teenager. I hated everyone and didn't
think I'd live past high school.None of that is an excuse, but
it's a potential reason. It doesn't scare me as much as
it used to, but I've never even considered something this dark.
Since this happened I've also stopped being so bitter, so that
(02:50):
helps. I haven't talked to Josh since
high school. I don't think I want to anyway.
Thank you if you do end up reading this, I hope it made
sense as my memory is fuzzy considering how long it's been.
No one is safe to pass. Hey Snook, I'm writing this
after watching your most recent Confessions video.
(03:12):
In It's a rider confessed to an incident where they were
reckless when attempting to passsomeone on the road.
They aren't alone in this poor judgement.
A smidge of context. In high school I was an awful
mental place. Toxic friendships, family
issues, I was spiraling even when I felt calm.
That's the part of mental instability no one makes a point
(03:34):
of. You lose yourself confidently
sometimes anyway. On to the.
Confession I was driving an hourand a half to a friend's cabin.
I had a strained relationship with this person and had a lot
of my mind during the drive. A lot of self-confidence issues,
worries over this friend and ourmutual connections talking bad
about me behind my back. I was incredibly paranoid and
(03:57):
kept thinking he would think less of me if I was late.
He was cruel to me in a lot of ways and did gossip about me,
but that's not relevant. During my drive, I, alongside 5
or 6 other cars, got caught behind this massive camper.
It was going 5 to 10 below the speed limit and I was deeply
annoyed. I couldn't be late to spending a
(04:18):
shitty weekend with my shitty friend though, so I figured I
would pass the camper. I was a relatively new driver,
only a few years under my belt. I was a car behind the camper,
so three of us bummer to bumper in a single lane.
It was the summer and I don't know if you're familiar, but
lake traffic can dominate roads up here.
The opposite traffic was equallycongested and I knew passing
(04:40):
would be a stupid idea. I still went for it.
It was like my mind went blank. I truly didn't care if I crashed
and died. I wasn't well.
I was just driving to please this friend.
I kept inching back and forth trying to gauge a good time to
pass these two vehicles. I hardly passed cars, let alone
a truck towing a massive traileror camper before, let alone a
(05:04):
car and a camper. I go to pass.
I made the wrong call. My car was a piece of shit, a
2002 Chevy Trailblazer. It wasn't a good car, but it was
mine. It couldn't accelerate quickly,
I knew that. I thought I had time.
I stared forward, flat expression and not an ounce of
adrenaline. I watched as a red sedan came
(05:26):
towards me, followed by a trail of traffic.
I didn't return my position. I speed up.
I believed I wouldn't crash. I would make it.
I wanted to apologize to whoeverwas in that car, to everyone on
the road that day. I didn't back down, but that
sedan did. They quickly went onto the
(05:46):
shoulder, and before the second car could reach me, I managed to
get in front of the camper and on to safety.
No one honked their horn. No one screamed in a way I could
hear, though I imagine many did.It was silent and I speed down
that County Road away from my bullshit.
As far as I could tell, no one got hurt, no one got driven into
(06:07):
a ditch or whatever else, but I definitely gambled with my life
and many other drivers on the road that day.
I didn't feel anything for a minute during that Dr. stunned
shock over my actions. Maybe, but my other feeling was
delayed. It wasn't the first time I would
get it that way. There were other moments where I
would just steer into the way like I wanted to or wasn't
(06:27):
concerned with getting struck. I would even drive Stone later
that year, barely able to stop my eyes from shaking.
I made poor judgment after poor judgment.
Thankfully, this idiocy hasn't persisted today.
A word of warning to drivers, new or old.
If you aren't of sound mind, youmust play it safe behind the
wheel. Keep yourself in check.
(06:48):
Always assume that anything you do could lead to someone's
death. You're operating a massive hunk
of metal hurling down the road. Don't be a moron.
My biggest regret has been that day my actions.
Even though no one got hurt, that was due to dumb luck if my
car sputtered even a little bit more.
(07:08):
If that sedan hadn't pulled over, I wouldn't be riding this.
I would have caused a massive pile up as well, resulting in
more lives lost. Get help if you can relate to
me. Talk about your feelings.
Don't disregard yourself in yourown life if your friends take up
all of your Gray matter. You need to do some.
Serious introspection on why that is and if you're healthy.
(07:32):
I knew I wasn't well and still didn't do anything until I was
staring down a red sedan. Learn from me.
Oh in that cabin Stay awful. I hated every second of it.
If somehow the guy I stayed withis watching this and recognizes
the few clues I've left to who Iam, fuck you buddy.
(07:53):
I hope whoever spends time with you now has a kinder version
than the one I knew for six years.
Confession. I feel responsible for the
murder of my best friends. Hi Snook.
I've never told anyone this, noteven my therapist.
Sorry for how long this is, but I'd like to get this off my
(08:14):
chest. Please keep me anonymous.
I'll start by saying I'm autistic and I've always had a
hard time making friends and I'mnot very popular.
Growing up there were two girls living down the street from me.
They were 9:00 and 12:00. I was 13.
They were basically my only friends at the time and we hung
out often. They had an older cousin who
(08:35):
lived with them around 20 I believe.
I'll call him Skyler, not his real name.
He wasn't neurotypical and was often incredibly mean to me
because I'm autistic and had been called the R word
frequently in school. I was am to an extent, still am
of the view that autistic and other neurodivergent people are
(08:56):
allowed to reclaim the word. One day we're at the park.
Me and Skyler got into a fight. He was supposed to look after us
at the park but when my friend the 9 year old fell and got hurt
and started crying he just told her to shut the F up.
I snapped at him be as mean to me as you want but I'm not cool
with you effing with my friends and that's true to this day.
(09:18):
I called Tyler AF ING R word T word and that's similar to I was
written so yeah make up that what you want words I regret to
this day. I stormed off back to my house
crying. My friend the 12 year old
followed me home and try to calmme down.
She was so nice and kind, I wishI would have listened to her
(09:39):
instead of pushing her away. I'm so sorry.
A few days later their cousin went on a rant on Facebook.
I don't remember what he said and I can't get myself to look
but he said stuff along the lines of people in this world
are so cruel and I hope the nextone is better and I won't go
alone, we will be happy in the next life etcetera.
(10:00):
That night he snapped and ended the lives of my two friends,
their parents, their dog, and himself.
I know I'm not the only one who was mean to him, he went through
the same shit at work and probably at college to an
extent, but I can't deny that I said that I'm probably the straw
(10:22):
that broke his back. Again, I have not told anyone
and sorry if this wasn't concise.
I'm very emotional about this. It's been years since this, but
I feel like it should have been me.
I've never said the R words since, not even amongst my
friends, even though it is stillmy view that it's not bad for
neurodivergent people to say it.I'm much more aware of how much
(10:44):
impact words have on people. But I just can't shake the
feeling that if I was never their friend, if I was never
born, even then they would stillbe here.
I'm so sorry. I don't think there's an
afterlife but if there is an afterlife I hope they someday
forgive me but I know I'm going to hell.
(11:04):
PS I'm not S word. It might sound like I am from
some of what I said but I promise I'm not.
Thank you so much for listening.Need to get this off my chest
and if it makes it into a video feel free to share your
thoughts. And wow that one.
This is heavy not going to lie. I really hope you're doing
(11:25):
better. I did not expect it to take that
turn. I'm not a therapist.
I'm just going to give my honestthoughts, I think, and some
general thoughts. I really think you should talk
to a therapist. That is a huge thing for someone
to go through and I really hope you're doing better now.
(11:45):
But I also don't think you should blame yourself.
That guy, to do that, what he did, there has to be a lot more
going on. He has to be off his rocker a
little bit. That's just wow, I'm I'm blown
away. I really hope you can maybe find
(12:08):
some peace with a therapist or something like that.
I really think you should go talk to somebody like that.
I think it'll help you out, you know, take some weight off of
your shoulders. This is insane to hold just
yourself. It really is, and I wouldn't
keep blaming yourself. I really don't think it's your
fault. Words do have, you know, impact,
(12:30):
but he in that scenario you described, it sounded like he
deserved it. I would have probably done the
exact same thing. There was probably a lot going
on in that guy's life to do whathe did.
And I yeah, I just my final thoughts are kind of please get
a therapist or tell a trusted somebody.
(12:53):
Tell trusted somebody in your life, somebody you trust,
whether that's a friend, teacher, family, whatever, You
really should talk to somebody. I hope you're doing better.
And yeah, much love. Things will get better, but
thank you so much for sharing. On to the next one.
(13:14):
I stole money from my special needs cousin.
Hello Snook. After seeing your YouTube video,
I decided to confess. This may be more tame than your
other confessions, but I need toget this off my chest.
When I was 13 I stole money frommy special needs cousin.
I can't remember how much it wasbut I just know I took it for
(13:34):
context even though it's not a good excuse.
She has stolen a lot for me, like money, tarot cards, Pokémon
cards, incense, etcetera. Because my mom watches my
cousin. When her mom goes to work, she
watches her and sometimes bringsher purse if they're going out
to eat or something like that. I knew she carried money with
her. I was fed up with her stealing
(13:55):
stuff from me so I stole stuff from her.
She left it at our house one dayand I got into it, took the
money and put it back. I'm not sure if she knows or her
mom knows and just shrugged it off as her just being special
needs or faking. I know this is a horrible thing
to do. I won't blame my past abuse for
stealing like many people in your videos do or anything taboo
(14:16):
they shouldn't do. Anyways, this is my confession.
This is obviously free for you to use in a video, but I doubt
you will. Hello Snook, Let me start by
saying that I love your videos and always look forward to
seeing them, especially your confessions video.
I'm so glad I found your channel.
(14:36):
Thank you so much for the kind words, I really appreciate it.
You're anonymous Confessions videos have inspired me to
submit my own confession, so here it is.
For context, I'm someone who is on the autism spectrum, although
I'm more on the high functioningside.
Why I need to include this is because I feel it contributes to
my confession. I know people diagnosed with
(14:57):
autism slash Asperger's feel, think and act a certain way
that's different from neurotypical people and that
there are no way dangerous to others.
I on the other hand, can't help but sense that I may just be
that though, as the way I feel and the way I think goes to way
way darker, more sinister territory.
(15:19):
I constantly have thoughts aboutinflicting harm to not only
strangers, but also to certain close family members and even my
significant other. I think of different ways as how
to harm them all, which is actually a lot.
Whether I have access to things to use or not, whether I have
access to sharp objects, firearms, substances,
(15:40):
flammables, you name it. It doesn't even matter the age
or race of people. I've thought of it all.
I think about how satisfied I'd be to watch the life of people
fade away by my own doing. To see the horror on their
faces, the sparkle in their eyesdim.
To hear them cry and beg. I watch a lot of true crime.
Documentaries and wonder if someday I'll end up featured in
(16:03):
some due to the thoughts I inhibit and if I end up snapping
and acting on set thoughts. I'm obviously antisocial as
you'd expect. I have no people skills, don't
know how to keep relationships. I've job hop from place to place
because I can't stand people to an extreme degree.
I've gotten complaints at work about how the aggressive way I
interact with the clientele. I even almost got fired from my
(16:24):
last job because I pulled pepperspray on a man in front of his
own child just because I didn't like his attitude.
The same can be said for when itcomes to certain family members.
For example, I have a cousin whoso desperately wishes to have
children with her partner, but because I happen to personally
not really like her for whateverreason, I intrusively think
(16:46):
about me punching her in the stomach so that she'd suffer a
miscarriage and be depressed. I also have an aunt who I will
admit loves a good bottle of wine, and yet I imagine myself
bashing a bottle on her head andwonder how delighted it'd be to
hear the shatter of the glass break on her head, maybe even
some shards breaking skin and causing her head to bleed.
(17:08):
With my significant other who I've been together with for
almost 10 years. While I do love them with all my
heart, I also wish sometimes they die, even if it's by my own
hand. If we were to get an argument, I
think about either strangling them or using some sort of
weapon on them. I'm sure you get my point here.
Like yeah, I know it's not normal to not like everybody and
not want to affiliate with them no matter if it's my bloodline
(17:30):
or they're a stranger, but I seriously feel like it'd be best
to hurt them or better yet, to get rid of them one way or
another. However, I know that this is no
way to think. It's unhealthy at best, but I
can't help it, nor do I know howto stop from having these
thoughts. The most I've done to get help
from myself is go to my primary doctor and ask if I could be
(17:52):
given some sort of medication, which I have been prescribed
antidepressants as a starter. But a primary family doctor can
only do so much without me goingto a more qualified Dr. like a
therapist slash psychiatrist. I know I need to seek other ways
to get help, but I fear that of getting the appropriate help I
need, I'll instead be admitted somewhere or whatever.
(18:13):
That's pretty much it for this anonymous confession.
I'm sorry if it's a lengthy 1, I'll leave it up to you if you
want to give some sort of response or not.
And I thank you for giving me and others a safe space to send
confessions like this. Keep up the good work.
And all right, I think I'll haveto leave my thoughts on this
one. And you did say you went to a
(18:33):
doctor and got antidepressants. I probably for stuff like this,
I don't know, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a therapist.
But, you know, instead of getting instantly onto
medication, I think you should really talk to somebody, dude.
And, you know, sometimes medications can make people feel
(18:54):
certain ways, even if it's supposed to make them less
depressed, like antidepressants.And so instead of going to a
primary Doctor Who isn't very, you know, fielded in that sort
of stuff, I would go to a psychiatrist.
Please go to a psychiatrist, go to the therapist.
You could be better diagnosed and properly medicated instead
of just a regular doctor. I really think you should go to
(19:16):
a therapist. Go to a psychiatrist.
I can't tell you whether or, well, whether or not you will
get admitted to somewhere, but you know, it's worth a shot.
Dude. I really think you should, you
know, get this figured out. Talk to somebody before.
Like you said, you snap and you do something you will regret.
(19:39):
Yeah, please do talk to psychiatrist, talk to a
therapist, talk to somebody. And I think just getting it out
to somebody would help. Just talk about it and that
might help alleviate it. You know, sometimes people are
really annoying, but to think ofyour significant other, to think
of family, to think of strangersand want to, you know, hurt them
(20:00):
all, that is not positive. So my final thoughts, please go
talk to a psychiatrist, please. Go talk to a therapist please.
Or just talk to somebody before this could get out of hand.
Keep spiraling, which a lot of stuff like this can and will do.
Like I said, not a therapist, I'm not a doctor, but those are
(20:22):
just some general things I know.And I think it's best if you go
to a psychiatrist and get properly medicated or properly
diagnosed. But for this, I think you should
really just talk to somebody. I think that'd be very positive
for you. Thank you so much for sharing.
I appreciate the kind of words. And on to the next one.
(20:45):
I think I'm the reason my grandfather committed S word.
Hi Snook, I'm a big fan of your channel and started watching at
the start of this year. I don't know if my story really
fits, but it's something I've struggled with for a while and
felt that I need to share. I hope it helps someone else who
might be going through the same thing.
If you do share my story, I ask that you please keep me
anonymous. Much love and on to my story.
(21:09):
Two years ago my grandfather committed S word.
There was no note, no phone call, just nothing.
His neighbor found him. I will never forget the way I
felt when my dad told me he diedand how he passed and I can't
help but think it was my fault. You see, I've been avoiding this
calls for a while. He was a good man and I loved
(21:31):
him greatly, but he was also a hard man.
He always found a way to point out my flaws, how my friends
were bad to me, how I was going to do great things.
I was his favorite grandchild and the pressure was hard on me
so I started shutting him out. I know it's not my fault he made
a choice that he can't take back, but deep down I still feel
like it's my fault. I don't think I can ever forgive
(21:54):
him. After my grandmother, his wife,
died, we tried so hard to get him to move closer to us, but he
wouldn't do it. He locked himself away from the
world in that lonely house and drove himself to S word.
He knew he was loved and he knewwe would help.
But he left and now I have to live with that.
I don't really know how to end this, so I'll leave with this.
(22:18):
No matter how alone you feel or how desperate you are, S word is
not the answer. It affects so many people you
might not even know. I have never been the same since
it happened to me. I still have nightmares about
his actions and is something that will haunt me forever.
That is what will happen to everyone around you.
(22:41):
Please talk to someone, anyone. There are resources for you and
you are loved even if you don't feel like it.
Thank you for reading the Snook.I love your channel and
everything you're doing. If you have any thoughts, feel
free to share. Thank you for giving us a place
to share. Thank you so much for, you know,
(23:01):
sharing this. I really appreciate it and I'm
so sorry that I had to censor and self censor saying the S
word. I had to or else, you know,
YouTube doesn't show it to nearly as many people.
So I'm sorry. I felt like it was very
disrespectful to do that. But you know, for people to view
the video, I kind of have to without out of the way.
(23:22):
I like I said in the past ones, but I think you yourself, you
yourself should talk to somebody.
I know you gave that. I don't know if you are, but I
really don't think you should carry the weight around that you
feel like it was your fault. That's a heavyweight to carry
around. And I think that, you know, talk
(23:44):
to somebody and in reality, it'sprobably not your fault.
You know, I, I don't know the whole situation, but I would
just, you know, get a therapist,get somebody to talk to.
I really hope you're doing better because that's a big
thing to not forgive yourself for.
(24:04):
And I hope you can because I can't imagine that.
I really hope you're doing better now and your family as a
whole is doing better now. I really wish you much love.
And yeah, just talk to somebody,therapist, friend, family.
I don't know if you are, like I said, but you know, just talk to
somebody. Help so much and same with
(24:26):
everyone else is confessions I've covered.
Just talk to somebody really makes things better.
It's not healthy. It's not good to keep it to
yourself. That is never the right answer.
So thank you so much for sharingthis and thank you so much for
the words at the end of your confession.
I should really, really hope that helps somebody out here.
(24:47):
And that is the exact reason to make these videos so people feel
like they're not alone in their scenario.
And I just love this place to share.
And I'll keep making these videos as long as you guys keep,
you know, sending in confessionsbecause I just feel like it's
great to have people have this place to share.
(25:09):
And I know I'm kind of rambling a lot in this video, but I think
it's, you know, whatever I'm giving my thoughts and yeah,
everybody out there, talk to somebody.
Get off your chest. It's not healthy to keep it in.
Thank you so much for sharing, much love, I hope you keep doing
better and just take it a day ata time.
On to the next one. My brother is a substance addict
(25:33):
and my parents don't know. Hi Snook, this is now my second
time submitting A confession butmy first is probably too graphic
for YouTube. I love listening to your videos
while I'm trying to fall asleep or while I work.
Anyways, like the title says, mybrother is basically a substance
addict and I'm not sure what I should do.
(25:54):
My brother is now 22 but he started smoking grass when he
was in his teens and still living at home.
Since then he's basically becomeaddicted to grass.
He says it helps him with his ADHD even though he's already on
Adderall. Since my brother moved out he's
gotten really into rave culture,and with that culture comes the
substances. He's tried so many substances.
(26:16):
Basically everything except Breaking Bad, Crystal and Jesse
Pinkman laying on the bed substance.
He takes M and tab of substance regularly while it raves and
also while at home. I worry about what these things
are doing to his body and his brain.
It's not like he's some homelessjobless bum.
(26:40):
He actually has a really good job and owns his house.
But even still I know how easilyit is to get addicted to this
things. I've tried to bring up these
things to my parents without saying hey my brother is doing
hard substances but they just say don't want to know what he's
doing at the raves. I feel like there's no one I can
confine in and I don't want to be the one to say to my brother.
(27:01):
I've always had a weird relationship with my brother and
since he's older than me I don'tfeel like I'm in a position of
authority to be telling him to stop or that I'm worried.
Any advice from you or any viewers would be much
appreciated. I just feel burdened with this
information and needed to tell someone.
Thank you for reading and I tried to keep this brief but I
word vomited a bit. Take care, Mr. And I just have
(27:26):
to say that is I'm blown away byhow much you care.
I guarantee a lot of people knowfamily members that are Subs
addicts. And sorry, I had to censor this
one as well. But you care a lot about your
brother and that's very commendable.
And that's wow. I'm just blown away by how much
(27:46):
you care. And that's awesome that you, you
know, care so much about your brother, although I'm not sure
what route you should take. Maybe talk to your parents more.
But if they don't care, then, you know, that's tough.
Or maybe bring it up to your brother.
Sometimes he may not realize what he's doing is so bad.
You know, he if he's in sort of a crowd like that, everyone's
(28:07):
doing it or doing stuff like that.
You know, he's like, OK, this isnormal.
This is fine. I'm not doing too much damage to
myself or my brain. But if you come out and be like,
hey, dude, I've just been worried about you that could hit
him like a truck, I think that'sdefinitely worth it.
And even though you're the younger brother, I still think
(28:28):
that even has almost more weight.
You know, his younger brother coming to almost, you know, lay
down the law and be like, yo, dude, this is bad for you.
So even though he's older than you and I think you should just
talk to him, you know, nothing crazy, but just try to be
honest. Don't come out.
(28:49):
Don't come out from the, you know, authoritative, kind of
pointed at them and just being like, hey, this is bad and start
criticizing them. Don't criticize them.
I think that's when you could get defensive and not listen to
you at all. But I think if you come from
kind of this direction, which you came in this confession and
wrote this way, I think if you come from the very, you know,
(29:11):
adoring and kind of emotional way of approaching, it would be
the best. I don't know if that makes
sense. I just were vomited a lot.
But I think if you approach it very caringly, that'd be the
best way to do it. I think you should.
And yeah, stuff like that's not good for you in the long run.
(29:32):
I I'm not saying it's bad at 100%, but if he's doing it all
the time, it can definitely leadhim down a dark path.
Like you said, he's not homeless, which is great, but
you never know if he keeps goingdown this path, he could, you
know, addiction's a crazy thing.I think that's all my thoughts.
(29:53):
I don't know if this makes any sense.
I don't know if everyone just clicked off the video after
hearing this rant, but yeah, I really appreciate you sharing
this and you seem like a very caring person.
That's very commendable. Great work and much love.
And e-mail me back if you do talk to him, I'd love to hear.
How it went. Anyways, thanks so much for
(30:16):
sending on to the next one. Confession.
I am all right with being a narcissist.
Hey Snook, I've been watching your videos for a while now and
I enjoyed them so I decided I would confess as well.
This is a glimpse into a brain riddled with narcissism.
I have been diagnosed with a multitude of disorders.
(30:39):
My genetics and upbringing are unfortunately both not great.
What I want to talk about thoughis my NPD Narcissistic
personality disorder, as well astraits of other cluster B
personality disorders. I'm a young adult male.
This is me almost entirely unmasking.
I'm very apathetic, especially towards people.
(31:01):
I don't understand them. I've spent my entire life trying
my absolute best to be normal, to feel empathy or to understand
how people usually function, andit's very clear to me that I
never will function like them. It's weird.
I make friends extremely easily.I'm charming, I'm smart and
aware of it. I'm not extremely intelligent,
(31:22):
but I still consider myself smart and other people do as
well. People trust me easily.
Yet Despite that some have picked up on the empty look of
my eyes. They tell me I always look like
I'm a behind a thick mist, unreachable in a way.
Despite having so many people around, I care about almost none
of them. I wouldn't mind if something
(31:42):
happened to them. I wouldn't mind if they cut me
off. Every single conversation and
relationship is transactional tome.
I don't confined in people aboutthe depths of my apathy, but I'm
sure a lot of them suspect something is not entirely right.
I wish I wasn't cursed like this, but oddly enough I also
don't mind it too much. I believe my narcissism makes me
(32:04):
inherently better and that my personality traits are just
overall superior. Despite being in therapy for
many years now, I don't think I will entirely overcome this and
I'm content with that. I lie easily.
I used to steal it got boring soI don't feel the need to anymore
and I'll always be at the centerof my own world.
I don't understand how anyone can value someone else above
(32:26):
themselves, and I don't understand how my condition
isn't the norm. My life is a big pretending
game. Oddly enough, I do feel a
connection to some animals. I really love my 2 cats before
they both left. My life and circumstances I
won't delve into now. The story is awful and I miss
them greatly. This is one of the only
instances where I know I felt love.
(32:48):
I don't feel broken. I am aware that there's a lot
wrong with the way I function, but I've realized I have a
limited range of motion with howmuch I can truly change.
I am trying to do better to contain any outbursts of anger
to conceal my apathy so I don't hurt those around me, and this
is the best I can do. Maybe someone can relate to this
(33:10):
or find it interesting. If you have any input snooker
viewers, feel free to share. I do want to say that I won't
take advice because nothing has ever changed the way I function,
but I'm curious as to what others have to say on this
matter in a right. I really don't have anything to
say because you know, you said you weren't even open to advice
(33:30):
so I don't know if I'll leave much of anything.
People I'm sure down below will leave some comments and you
know, it seems like you're doingall right.
You obviously think very highly of yourself and confidence isn't
bad thing, but it seems like youare almost wearing this
narcissism as a superpower almost, even though that's
(33:54):
probably not the case, you know?Treating every relationship as
transactional will 1000% have its drawbacks.
You may not find a girlfriend ora boyfriend or whatever you're
looking for. You know, you might.
But you know, a lot of people would like to feel genuinely
(34:14):
loved. And if you don't care about
that, then Oh, well, you know, Idon't really know where I'm
going with that, but it'll have its drawbacks.
If you don't want to help and itseems like you don't want help.
So what does anyone to do? I'd recommend, you know, maybe
go into therapy with more of an open mind.
It seems like you don't have much of an open mind to this,
but it's up to you and everyone watching.
(34:36):
Please leave some feedback on tothis guy.
And it seems like you want some advice or doesn't want advice,
but just wants, you know, thoughts.
And thanks for sharing. On to the next one.
Hey again Snook, I love your videos and enjoy the
confessions. I enjoy listening to what you
put out and still think you deserve to have 500,000
(34:59):
followers. I have a confession for you, one
that I know people will get angry over but I myself am
struggling with it due to the biases, personal experiences and
overall perception of it. I cannot accept the fact that
I've 34, male, been diagnosed with borderline personality
disorder. To start this off, let's go back
about 10 years to when I got arrested.
(35:21):
Back in the day, I was deep in the throes of alcoholism.
I was a raging alcoholic and gotarrested for drunk driving.
I know it was wrong, and I'm still deeply ashamed that I was
selfish and stupid enough to drive in blackouts, but when
you're sick to that caliber, youcan justify anything as long as
you can get your hands on another drink.
(35:42):
So there I was, in trouble with the law.
One of the things I had to do was go to court order therapy.
There I discovered that I was self medicated and for a slew of
mental problems I wasn't aware of.
Bipolar disorder, intermittent explosive disorder, generalized
anxiety disorder, and a fourth one I'll get to in a moment.
(36:03):
I kept the therapy but ditched the bottle.
To date I've been sober for 10 years.
May 29th, 2025 was my tenth yearanniversary.
But this is where the confessionstarts.
As time has gone on I've been struggling with my mind.
I've been in the hospital 4 times for horrible depressive
episodes, getting worse with each episode.
(36:24):
At first it was general horribledepression and the wanting to
die. But then it started getting
scary. I started having visual
hallucinations. I was getting more and more
paranoid that people were in my house are stalking me and I hear
voices not only telling me to commit S word but also
screaming. Literally screaming at me in
(36:45):
languages I didn't understand. I know they were yelling at me
in Russian, French, and Korean, but I can't tell you exactly
what they were saying. I just know they were loud and
angry at first. The doctors knew there was a
fourth thing there but didn't quite know what it was the
fourth time in the hospital I told the doctors about the
hallucinations and the voices and he finally concluded that I
(37:07):
had schizoaffective disorder. I was having the mood swings in
the hallucinations, in the paranoia.
Plus my mom's mom has schizophrenia, bipolar as it was
called back in the day, so I could chalk it up to genetics.
My grandma was cat shit crazy. Been in and out of hospitals as
well. Was on 1st generation
psychotropic medications, had the uncontrollable twitches and
(37:29):
lip smacking in the schizophrenic shuffle because of
said medications. It just made sense to me.
I could accept that. Still miss the hell out of my
grandma, but that's irrelevant. Then my therapist and I looked
over my case notes a few months ago and someone had changed my
diagnosis to Borderline Personality disorder subtitle.
Everything else was the same. Still angry, still bipolar,
(37:52):
still twitchy and anxiety ridden.
But this BPD edition was new andI knew nothing about it.
I argued that it wasn't right and I was told no, I have
schizoaffective disorder. But he pulled out the DSM 5, the
big book of mental disorders, and lo and behold, my symptoms
closer match borderline. Not satisfied with this, I
(38:13):
decided to go to an actual psychiatrist for a second
opinion. I met with her a few times.
We talked and into my third meeting I asked her do I really
fit borderline personality disorder?
She nodded and said yeah, you have a rather strong case for
it. I don't know why, but my brain
cannot accept this diagnosis. Even though I know all the
(38:33):
evidence is right there in my face.
The logic part of my brain says,hey man, if two professionals
look you over and you know damn well the signs are there, but
the emotional side of my head islike, but you're literally not
like the quote UN quote psycho woman you've dated.
Look, I know that last bit isn'tcorrect to say, but that's how
my brain justifies it even though I know it's wrong.
(38:54):
And yeah, I've dated at least three women who've claimed that
they have borderline personalitydisorder, and they were all off
their effing rockers. One tried to stab me when we got
into an argument and I wanted toleave, then threatened to call
the cops and tell them I cut herup.
One put me in a position where Ihad to choose between my stuff
and my car. Her justification was, well,
(39:15):
since you're guarding your car, I'll just go destroy your
things. But if I tried to leave she'd go
welp looks like I'm busting out your windows and slashing your
tires and sending your seats on fire.
The third one was straight up tried kicking me out of a
two-story bedroom window and threatened to call the cops and
claimed I jumped after we had argument and I again tried to
leave. Things were great when they were
(39:36):
great but they get scary when I did so much as half assed
answered something or didn't saythe right thing or looked at
them funny. The thing I'm struggling with
the most is that whole I need you to stay in my life to the
point I'm going to effing ruin you or hurt myself part.
I've gotten to the point where Idon't care if you're in my life
or not. Nowadays I have like 2 close
(39:56):
friends and my wife and that's all I really need.
I'm not vindictive, I'm not suffocating, I'm not spiteful or
threatening violent. If anyone wants to leave, hell
if my wife just wants to up and leave me one day I think I'd be
semi OK with it. I try to talk it out and figure
out how to fix it, but I'm not going to threaten to cut her up
or stab her or call the cops or bust her shit if she left.
(40:18):
It's just like, OK, one less person to talk to, whatever.
I've been through more than my fair share of traumatic events
that got me here. I struggle with the delusions,
the depression, the latching on to new people until I get bored
of them, the empty and hollow feeling I have all the time.
But that relationship one just doesn't resonate with me at all.
(40:38):
I'm just at a dissonance where Iknow I'm ill with this.
This is my reality now. I fit a lot of criteria to AT,
but it seems like it would be easier to cope with it if I was
schizophrenic. It feels like I'd accept it if I
was a shrambling mess of ramblings and illogical thoughts
and a raging psycho who can't hold relationships.
(40:59):
Do I know it's wrong to generalize Absolute?
Am I aware that everyone is different and not everyone
living with BBD is like what I mentioned Again, Absolutely.
Can I breakthrough those stereotypes and generalize
illogical ideas even though I know they're not all correct?
Not at all. I know I'm going to get
assaulted in the comments for what I said.
(41:20):
I'm working with two different psychiatric specialists to help
me come to terms with these uglyand hurtful feelings.
I feel like a piece of shit for not being able to differentiate
what I feel and what is actuallyreal.
My therapist says that it'll take some time to become
destigmatized to what BPD looks and feels like to me, but at the
meantime my mind can't stop telling me it would just be
(41:42):
easier if I was cat shit crazy like my grandma.
Thanks for reading Snook. Apologies this was so long.
Keep up the good work and thank you for giving us the space to
air out. And with that final confession,
that wraps up today's video. That wraps up some sinister
(42:02):
anonymous confessions. Please leave some comments for
everyone who submitted. They all appreciate it so much.
And if you have a confession youwould like to submit, please
submit to the e-mail in the description or in my YouTube
about section or in the one in the beat of the video.
I read every single confession. So please send in some
(42:23):
confessions or if you do have anything to get off your chest.
And just remember, whatever you send could be in a video in
public like this. So they're all anonymous, but
still the information is public.Thank you so much for everyone
to sent in a confession. Thank you so much to everyone
who's still watching. And if you are still watching,
please like and subscribe. It helps more than you know.
(42:46):
And yeah. All right, thank you so much for
watching to the end. You guys are the best.
This was snuck and I'll see you next time.
Bye.
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