August 18, 2025 • 41 mins
Most substances change how you see the world… but dissociatives change whether you’re even in it. In today’s video, we’re diving into a class of substances that detach the mind from the body, shattering reality itself.With dissociatives like ketamine, PCP, and DXM, you won’t just feel “high.” You may feel like you’ve left your body, slipped into another dimension, or lost all sense of self. Some describe it as euphoric escapism, others, as being trapped in a cold, alien void where nothing feels real.From anesthetic breakthroughs to dangerous street use, dissociatives blur the line between consciousness and pure insanity. They don’t just alter perception… they destroy it.WARNING: This video contains disturbing content, and is for educational purposes only. Viewer discretion is advised.Like, subscribe, and let me know if you want a Part 3. Stay safe…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
There's a type of substance thatdoesn't just change what you see
or feel. It pulls you completely out of
the world. You know your memory starts
slipping away, your sense of self fades, and reality becomes
a twisted, confusing maze. These are dissociatives,
substances that disconnect your mind from your body, leaving you
trapped in a silent, empty void.You won't find colours or
(00:23):
visions here. Instead, you might feel like a
ghost, watching your own life from afar, lost in a space where
time folds and your identity unravels.
From hospital anesthetics turn party substances to cough syrups
that send users spiraling into endless loops, this is the
disturbing world of dissociatives where they
familiar become strange and sometimes you never come back
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the same. Before we dive into it, please
like and subscribe helps more than you can imagine.
Let's begin now. Before we get into the video, I
have to preface this by saying that this video is for
educational purposes only. I do not in any way condone the
usage of any substances mentioned in the video.
And by the end of this video, I think you'll be scared straight
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into never even considering it. And by now you're probably
curious about what a dissociative is, assuming you're
not already familiar. So what is a dissociative?
There's a class of drugs that doesn't just change how you see
the world, it severs your connection to it entirely.
These are called dissociatives and they don't produce vivid
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visuals or spiritual revelationslike classic psychedelics and
say they disconnect the brain from sensory input, body
awareness, and even your identity.
Scientifically, they work by blocking NMDA receptors,
disrupting the brains ability toprocess reality.
But the effect feels far more horrifying than technical.
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Users report feelings like they're floating outside their
bodies, trapped in an endless loop, or watching the world
through a screen, unable to move, think clearly, or remember
who they are. And higher doses, the
hallucinations become so realistic and convincing that
it's nearly impossible to tell what's real and what's not.
You might have conversations with people who don't exist,
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believe you're dead, or believe your God, or become convinced
you're stuck in another dimension.
Examples of a dissociative include ketamine, DXMPC, and
nitrous oxide, all of which can plunge users into a state of
terrifying detachment. Dissociatives don't just blur
reality, they actually just dismantle it.
And sometimes people don't fullycome back the same.
(02:33):
PCP PCP is one of the most notorious disassociatives ever
created. Originally synthesized in the
1950s as a surgical anesthetic, it was quickly abandoned for
human use when patients began exhibiting extreme confusion,
paranoia, and erratic behavior. The drug was too unpredictable
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and too disturbing or replaced. It was ketamine, and we'll get
into that later. But on the streets, PCP, also
known as phenycodone, lived on not as a medicine, but as a drug
that can completely fracture a person's perception of reality
and turn them into someone unrecognizable.
Like other dissociatives, PCP works by blocking NMDA receptors
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in the brain, disrupting the function of glutamate, the
neurotransmitter responsible forlearning, memory, and sensory
processing. When these signals are scrambled
or cut off, the result is disassociation.
The user becomes detached from their body, from time, and from
their identity. But PCP doesn't stop at this
connection. It really pushes the mind into
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chaos. At moderate to high doses, PCP
can cause bizarre hallucinations, delusional
thinking, and a total breakdown of logic and control.
But perhaps most disturbingly, many users report feelings of
invincibility, believing they are immune to pain, unstoppable,
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or even divine. Yeah, some people think they're
God. This delusion has led to
countless violence encounters with police where individuals on
PCP have walked through Tasers, broken through restraints, or
lashed out with superhuman force, not because the drug
gives them real power, but because it disconnects the brain
from pain, fear, and consequence.
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Law enforcement has long viewed PCP as one of the most dangerous
St. dogs for exactly this reason.
A person high on PCP may feel NoFear, no hesitation, and no
ability to recognize danger either to themselves or others.
There are plenty of documented cases of users jumping from
buildings, attacking strangers, or running into traffic because
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they simply have zero fear and feel invincible.
In some cases, they become a threat not just to officers, but
to their own friends, family, oreven their own body.
This is what makes PCP uniquely terrifying among dissociatives.
While drugs like ketamine may send users inward into cold,
dreamlike voids where that's nota good thing, but PCP often
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turns the mind outward, warped, paranoid, and unpredictable.
It's a drug that doesn't just numb you, it breaks your
behavioral filter. And once that's gone, anything
going to happen. And the danger doesn't stop when
the high fades. Long term use of PCP can lead to
memory loss, depression, psychosis, and violent
flashbacks. For some, even a single use is
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enough to permanently unhinge reality.
And this is the disturbing worldof dissociatives, and PCP is one
of its most violent and destructive inhabitants.
Now let's hear what it's like tofall into that world and what
someone saw from the inside whenthey lost their grip on reality.
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Hallucinations, God and the devil.
My experiences with weed have been quite enjoyable thus far
and I have no regrets with the substance until now.
I just recently bought a $10 nugfrom a friend who had got it
from one of his friends and so on.
He had said that it might be a little small for the given
price, but it was really crip. So a few days later I decided to
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smoke that bad boy. Little did I know it was laced
with a mean amount of PCP. I'd just gotten over to my
friend's house with the intention to smoke it outside,
but I couldn't due to the excessive amount of rainfall
where I live, so I had to settlefor the garage bathroom.
I lit it and took a few hits andrealized that this isn't
ordinary weed. A few hits later, I was
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seriously fucked up and I had noidea of who I was and what I was
doing there. Everything looked like a moving
picture coming in and out of focus.
Then out of nowhere strange shitstarted happening.
My best friend had started to get very pissed off at the other
two that were there with us and started cussing and fighting
with them for no apparent reason.
It was really strange because hewas actually viewing me as his
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only friend at the time. So we went for a walk, just me
and him. I began to think that I've been
viewing my life as a fool and I suddenly awoke as a God.
This is when he had started to talk shit about church and the
good Lord me, which upset me a little.
But nonetheless, he's my friend and I shall treat him like one
no matter what. So we kept on walking down my
street, which at the time seemedlike the border between heaven
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and hell. I'd listened to all of his
troubles for what seemed like aneternity, and I just responded
to all of them in a calm, almostSt. like manner.
It was as if we were the 2 kingsof our worlds, and as different
as we were, we still have managed to be the best friends
at all times. I may have been tripping, but he
actually seemed like a differentperson at the time.
Like some kind of entity was possessing him, like some sort
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of puppet. But of course the evil king had
a curfew like all teens. So we said our goodbyes, which I
didn't really understand but could still make a little sense
of, and we both went home. After doing a shit load of
chores, I decided to sleep thosepsychotic thoughts off. 2 hours
later I tripped even harder. I was talking to my mom about
food for some unknown reason andshe wasn't responding.
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I soon found out that I wasn't talking at all.
This went on for about an hour, then I said it to doze off
again. I woke at 8:00 PM and ate
dinner, which didn't even seem like real like the rest of the
world. It has been 8 or 9 hours since
I'd smoked that laced crib and Istill feel psychotic.
Overall, this has been a horrifying, yet at the same time
spiritual experience. The strangest thing about this
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whole trip is that even when I look back on it with an almost
clear mind, there was enough real evidence to prove that I
was God and my friend was the devil.
I'm not looking forward to my next accidental experience with
PCP and I'm never trusting my friend's friend again.
PS I'm still fucked up so if there are any misspelled words
or sentences that don't make sense, don't get mad because
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it's hard as hell lol to type. Nonetheless, think right now.
And this is what makes PCP so dangerous.
A drug that doesn't just alter your perception, it rewires your
belief. One minute you think you're
smoking weed, the next you believe you're God speaking to
the devil, walking the edge of heaven and hell.
And I really couldn't find any more kind of disturbing PCP
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stories because I think people who, you know, go really over
the edge are posting their experiences on, you know, the
Internet. But I think our friend here is
got lucky. And I think we can easily see
how, you know, it could go bad quickly because for someone,
they might believe they're God and everyone else is devils and
might believe they have to kill all the devils.
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And I think that's how a lot of people get in trouble with PCP.
And it's very, very dangerous. And dissociatives like PCP just
dismantle your sense of self. And they blur the boundary
between thought and reality and leave users stranded in
delusions that feel just as realas the world around them.
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What's worse is that even after the drug wears off, the
confusion can linger, sometimes for days and sometimes forever.
These substances don't just numbyour pain, they really silence
these systems that hold reality together.
And once those symptoms collapse, it's hard to tell
what's left. So please, just be careful out
there, guys. Ketamine.
(10:02):
Ketamine is one of the most disturbing substances in modern
medicine, a drug often used to silence pain, but one that can
just as easily silence reality. Originally developed in the
1960s as an anesthetic, ketamineis now used in operating rooms,
war zones, and even mental health clinics.
But beyond its medical uses liesa far darker potential.
(10:24):
When taken recreationally or at high doses, ketamine doesn't
only dull sensation, it disconnects the brain from
itself. This effect comes from
ketamine's unique interaction with the brains glutamate
system, specifically the NMDA receptors.
Glutamide is the brain's primaryexciterary neurotransmitter,
responsible for learning, memory, and perception, all
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really important parts of the brain.
Ketamine blocks those NMDA receptors, interrupting the
brain's ability to process and integrate incoming information.
It's as if the signal between your senses and your
consciousness is being scrambledor cut off entirely.
This neural disconnection is what leads to the K hole, a
dissociative state where time collapses, the body becomes
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foreign, and identity erodes. Users often describe feelings
like they've left their body, entered another dimension, or
died altogether. Visuals are not colorful or
vibrant, but cold, scary, and just wrong, like floating
through a sterile void or watching your thoughts unravel
into static. Because the brain is no longer
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receiving coherent sensory input, it begins to just fill in
the blanks, sometimes with haunting hallucinations or
emotional numbness. On the outside, a person in the
K hole may appear motionless or incoherence because your brain
literally can't control your body anymore, while inside they
may be really living twisted memories, communicating with
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imagined entities, or feeling trapped in a formless limbo.
While therapeutic doses are low and controlled, repeated or high
dose used can damage cognition, weaken memory, and even alter
personality. It's a substance that bends the
brain by force, and the deeper you go, the harder it is to
reassemble what's left of you. And now let's get into a first
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hand account from someone who went too far in what they
experienced first K Hole, the true horror behind reality.
Here is a trip report of my first K hole experience.
I tried quite a few times to reach this level before, but
always came up a little short ofgetting there.
Though many of those experienceswere somewhat profound too, they
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pale in comparison to this one. The part of the report detailing
my time out of the body has beenchanged little since I wrote it
the following morning. It seemed to last in eternity.
But this part of the report is not very long.
Words cannot describe the strangeness and magnitude of
what happened during much of thetrip, nor can they really
describe the sensory detail or mental aspects of what happened.
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The only way I could really lengthen that part of the report
is by repeating the same type ofinadequate description over and
over again. I would say it was a definite
plus four level experience, but of a dark frightening nature,
unlike the few plus four level experiences I have had in my
many tryptamine and phenol thyminine trips which all
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occurred during states of bliss and joy.
I waited over a week to post this so that I'd be able to
include some info on any positive or negative effects the
experience had that lasted more than a day or two.
That is after the trip report. I can't give a timeline of
events because I wasn't watchingthe time too well, not at all
while in the K hole. I know I wasn't in the K hole
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for much more than an hour because it was something after
1:00 AM when I last saw the clock and about 2:30 AM when I
first noticed the clock after coming out.
I'm not going to write much about the effects of the
ketamine prior to going into theK hole.
I'm also unsure of what the actual dose was equivalent to.
I took maybe 100 or so milligrams as another larger
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dose was wearing off. I'd guess in the few 100
milligram range as a few 100 milligrams of the time was not
enough to produce this type of trip.
I weigh over 280 lbs so it takesme more than it would an average
size person. The trip reports as originally
written with a bit of added info, mostly regarding things
before leaving and after returning to my body.
(14:23):
I had taken several shots of ketamine up to a few 100
milligrams at a time. I was hoping to have the out of
body experiences, entity contacts, and immersions into
new realities that a new ketamine was capable of
producing. Even with this dose, I hadn't
quite reached that kind of state.
I was quite high at this point, Very high in fact.
Each time I took a shot of ketamine, it felt like I was
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started accelerating to a high speed.
This happened once again with this next the last shot.
The air started to feel thick. I felt like parts of my body
were missing. My hands seem to be disconnected
from my arms where I was no longer aware of anything between
my hands and shoulders. I felt as though I was being
watched by something. What it was, I did not know.
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Visuals consisted of green corridors and static.
I felt fear at times, but I was able to tell myself that I was
safe. I knew there was something
beyond this though. I was getting frustrated by the
fact that I still hadn't reachedit, and my chance to do so was
running out. Because my supply of ketamine
was nearly gone, it could be a long time before I could get any
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more. I was down to my last chance as
the effects hurt to wear off. I had only 1 lash out of
ketamine and still hadn't reached what I thought was the K
hole. I had plenty of intense
experiences but never lost contact with my body.
I decided to inject your main ketamine into a muscle.
I'd guess it was around a few 100 milligrams, but I'm not
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sure. This would not be enough to get
me to the K hole if I wasn't still strongly under the
influence of ketamine. Once again I started to feel the
acceleration. I did definitely reach the K
hole level this time. The last thing I did in this
world was pee in a jug. I could not have walked to the
bathroom to do it. I've been doing this for several
days while on ketamine and hadn't emptied the bottle.
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It had a lid so I didn't think it mattered.
There must have been close to a gallon of old piss in there.
It was about this time that I lost complete awareness of my
body and went through several levels of existence before
ending up on slash in what I will call the hardware level
since it seemed that all existence was a strange
computer. There are two levels I remember
better than the others. The first was a world that was
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fairly similar to this one, but inhabited by many strange
creatures. There are trees and plants like
in this world, though they didn't look quite the same.
I felt like I had some kind of power, though I'm not sure what
it was. I could see a city on a hill in
the distance, with shiny buildings, perhaps glass
reflecting sunlight. There was a boy, maybe 15 years
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old or so, walking down the pathbetween some trees.
I thought at the time that this was me.
A large colorful bird flew overhead while I was walking or
drifting down the path, and it left rainbows and colorful dust
falling behind it. My feeling of happiness grew
into outright bliss. It was the type of bliss that I
had rarely felt, only on the best of psychedelic trips, once
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without any drugs and never withany other type of drugs.
As far as I was concerned, everything I experienced in the
K hole was my real life and I had little or no memory of
anything before I stayed here inthis world for what seemed like
quite a while, I had no memory of using any drug.
My mind was not working normallythough, and I had some
realization of that at times. This did not trouble me at all.
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I was totally immersed in the moment.
I was eventually pulled out of that first world.
I don't remember how it happenedor what it felt like.
I no longer had even an imaginedbody that was anything like the
real one, if I had one at all. I went through one or more
poorly divined levels of existence that just blurred
together before arriving at a level I find hard to describe.
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Perhaps those levels were not sopoorly defined and I just passed
through them too fast to see what they were like.
I eventually reached the true reality, the one that this and
the other universes were built upon.
The one where our souls truly reside.
I would stay here for what seemed like an enormous amount
of time. It wasn't too bad at first, but
quickly became hellish. I was like a bunch of rubber
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bands tangled and looped together, moving along with
other masses of tangled rubber bands.
For some reason, it began to feel like torture.
I eventually got down to the point where I was the only one
of these things I could really detect, so I knew there were
others. I was asking for help.
I wanted out of there. I asked what I guess might be
God for help, but at the time I thought maybe I was one of many
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gods who had created false universes to escape into.
I brought this on myself. I never felt as though I was
being punished by some deity. I knew that I removed myself
from the universe that had been created to shield me and
everyone else from this true reality.
I was at first moving or rollingalong what might have been like
a grid. Any changes in direction seem to
be 90° shifts in direction or movement straight up or down,
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usually down. I felt something like static and
electric feelings even though I didn't have any sort of a body,
just being a mass of tangled strings or loops.
I eventually stopped moving. The torment grew even more
intense. Once that happened, I was
begging for help more than ever,trying to get back into my
universe I could possibly enter,and trying to create some new
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reality of my mind that I could then enter to escape the
torment. A couple of times I knew I ended
up there by taking a drug, but had no idea what that meant, so
it did nothing to help me understand what had happened.
I didn't know if I would be in that state forever or not.
I could remember something of a past before it got like this and
believed it to have been a falsereality.
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I could remember the first K hole level better than my real
life. At this point, though some of
both lives was available. I would have been happy to go
back to either one. I was occasionally see an image
of a family member and knew theywere somehow important, but I
did not know why. Sometimes there were names
attached to them but did not know what it meant.
I'd get glimpses of that first world I visited mixed in with
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these other images. For all I knew, they could have
all been from the same place. I had little understanding of
anything. I just knew I was suffering
greatly and that I was now in mytrue form, seen and being part
of the fabric of all that exists.
All of the higher level things have been stripped away.
I knew that I once wanted to seethe true nature of reality.
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Now I knew what it was and it was truly horrific.
I now wanted only to get back into one of the universes so
that this suffering would stop. I now understood why the truth
of existence was hidden from us,or why we hid it from ourselves.
Things went on like this for so long, pretty much staying the
same. I'm not sure why exactly it was
so unpleasant. I did eventually return to my
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life, but only after another enormous amount of time seemed
to pass. I was very confused and still
felt like I was in another world.
When I did come out of the K hole, I was in a dark room with
the only lights being from the digital clock and optical mouse.
I cannot understand why they were there.
Something smelled bad. I didn't yet identify this as a
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smell. I still couldn't understand my
body or sensory perceptions. I did understand that I made it
out of that horrible place. I eventually began to understand
things a little better and came to understand what had happened.
I realized at this point that the boy I saw in the first phase
of the experience was not me. I came to the conclusion that it
was someone else in another universe that I passed through
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before going down to the low level fabric of reality.
I still believed everything I experienced really happened.
I thought that we would all return to that level of
existence at the time of death, then enter a new life in one of
the many universes. I soon discovered then that a
big jug of piss was dumped out into the floor.
I must have dropped it as I was going out of body.
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Some things were damaged or destroyed, books, magazines,
some of my poppy pods. I didn't care at the time.
I fell on the floor at some point.
It may have been before or rightafter the K hole.
I may have even been in the floor the whole time I was in
the floor. I don't know why that old piss
all over me. I then started laughing
uncontrollably. I don't know why I just couldn't
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stop laughing. After coming down a bit more, I
cleaned things up a bit and tried to save what could be
saved. Nothing too important was
destroyed. It still smelled pretty bad.
I came down some more and then went to sleep.
I finished the cleaning the nextmorning.
Now I am out of ketamine. That is OK.
I don't need any more right now.Also, if I ever use another drug
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that makes walking difficult andI piss in a container, I'll be
sure to empty it once the drug wears off.
I don't want to end up making another mess like the one I made
that night. A lid won't help if you drop it
while the container is open the following morning and afternoon.
Maybe I'll try this again in a month or two.
If I can get some more. Maybe I'll stay on slash in a
good levels next time. Right now there's still at least
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a little fear that I could not only end back up in the bad
place, but be stuck there for a long time, possibly forever.
The description I gave for the second reality I described can't
come close to what it was reallylike.
I have no way to describe it in a way that could capture what it
was really like on a mental or sensory level.
I know I felt great today, so happy to be alive and in the
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same old world I usually want toescape from.
It feels like I've been touched by something beautiful on some
deep level I can't describe. It also seems more likely at the
moment that I Will Survive death.
All of this will likely fade quickly with time, but it can be
good. For now.
My mood is markedly elevated from its normal level.
I'm happy and usually feel depressed.
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This is the afternoon after about 12 to 13 hours after the K
hole. I'm almost back to baseline,
mind functioning near its normallevel the week after.
Here is how I felt during the week after the experience.
Changes in mood, outlook and personality and changes.
My mood has remained at a betterthan usual level for the last
week. I wouldn't say that I've been
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happy, but certainly not depressed like I was before.
But a desire for drugs seems to be decreased, though not for
psychedelics. I ended up tripping on something
six days after the ketamine, which brought up a lot of
feelings and thoughts I had on ketamine.
It was a lot more intense and philosophical than most trips,
and I was really unsure of pretty much everything about
myself in reality. Below is a post I made to a
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message board during the trip, tripping on something that I
took earlier, followed by the few milligrams.
I just snorted half an hour ago feeling a bit nausea and I've
developed a very slight headache, not enough to distract
me. This is bringing up those
experiences I had in the K hole.Not like reliving them, but
filling the memories in a strongway that is partially like
reliving them. Having lots of weird and crazy
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thoughts of the nature of reality and of what we really
are as a result. How do we know what is real as a
universe we inhabit? Something either fake or real
that we created to escape into? How do we even know that what is
in our memory is real and not something fabricated by
ourselves or someone slash something else from nothing or
something completely different from what we would think
happened? I don't know what is real or
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what to think. Maybe it will someday, or maybe
never. Maybe I would hate to find out,
and I'm still addicted to poppies, but it seems like my
desire to use them doesn't usually come until I start to
feel withdrawal symptoms. Now, prior to this I was
sometimes using three or four times a day, though usually
twice. I've not felt the need to get
high nearly as much since the ketamine experience.
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I don't know how long these positive changes will last.
I don't mean to imply that my desire to get high has been
eliminated, but it is definitelyreduced.
I now feel that surviving the death of our bodies is more
likely than I felt before. I have never held on to that
feeling for more than two or three days after another
psychedelic experience that showed me that possibility.
It has been more than a week nowand I still feel that this is a
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very good thing, as the thought of everyone I care about and I'm
not existing bothers me more than anything else.
Now I have hope that there is something after this life that
we can possibly enter new lives after this one ends.
Perhaps it is foolish to let a drug induce experience change my
feelings towards life and death,but I say a positive change in
outlook is good whether drug induced or not.
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I don't think I could undo thesechanges at the moment without
making a big effort. And why would I want to?
Logically, I should have no doubt that what I experienced
was nothing more than hallucinations and delusions
brought on by a drug known to 'cause these type of effects.
It still feels like I saw the true nature of reality, what I
and everything in the universe are made of.
Like I saw where this level existence comes from.
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Like I saw my soul. Right now I do have doubts and
feel unsure of what to believe. I don't really know how to
describe it. All the descriptions I've given
of the second part of the K holeseem inadequate to me.
I'm not the best writer in the world.
Maybe someone else would have a better luck describing it.
I've done about the best I can. As unpleasant as much of this
experience was, I definitely consider it to have been a +1.
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It certainly seems to have changed my outlook on life in a
positive way and helped with my depression, at least
temporarily. How long these changes last
remains to be seen. And this is the disturbing
reality of dissociatives. While they can produce surreal,
even spiritual experiences, theyoften plunge users into
terrifying states that blur the line between death, madness and
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something worse. For some, that horror fades with
time. For others, it leaves a scar.
And the scariest part, in the moment, you won't know which one
you'll be. In my opinion, I think this guy
got lucky because in that secondlevel, he says, you know, he
showed or said how painful it really was.
(27:36):
And for some people that can last the entire trip, that can
last for, you know, weeks after.So I do consider this guy to be
lucky and it's just not worth risking.
DXMDXM is one of the most deceptively dangerous
dissociatives in existence. Man, that's one hell of a tongue
twister. Found in over the counter cough
(27:57):
medicines like Robitussin and Delsym.
It was never designed to alter consciousness, yet in high doses
it can warp reality just as drastically as ketamine or PCP.
What makes DXM especially unsettling is how easy it is to
access. It's sold legally in most drug
stores, disguised in cherry flavored syrups and gel
(28:19):
capsules. But when it be used, it becomes
something else entirely. At its core, DXM is a
dissociative anesthetic, one that, like ketamine, blocks NMDA
receptors in the brain, disrupting how we process
sensory input, memory, and identity.
And we've been through that before.
But DXM doesn't just cause disconnection.
(28:39):
It comes in stages, known among users as the plateaus.
Plateaus mimic a drunken, euphoric state, but as the dose
increases, the experience turns deeply dissociative.
Visual distortions, time loops, internal dialogues with imagined
entities, and eventually full ego death.
High dose DXM trips can feel like being uploaded into a
(29:02):
digital limbo because users report floating through static
filled voids, losing all sense of their body and experiencing
intense introspection that borders on psychosis.
Some believe they're dead, others think they've become
gods. In some cases, users forget what
language is, who they are, or that they even exist.
(29:22):
But DX Ms. effects aren't just psychological.
In high doses, it can cause seizures, hypothermia,
hallucination, induce accidents and serotonin syndrome, a
potentially fatal condition whenmixed with other substances like
antidepressants. Long term abuse has also been
linked to cognitive damage, paranoia and persistent
disassociation. A condition where the brain
(29:44):
never fully reconnects. And because it's easy to
underestimate, many first time users take far more than they
realize. A normal therapeutic dose is,
you know, 10 to 30 milligrams. Recreational users often take
hundreds or thousands of milligrams, sometimes without
realizing how far they're pushing themselves away from
(30:05):
reality and themselves. DXM is the most accessible and
misunderstood gateway. Now a first hand look at what
happens when a familiar medicinestops healing you and starts
dismantling everything you know about yourself.
What's my name again? It came last Thursday when I
(30:25):
decided to trip on some DXMI. Was in school when my lunch
period came and I went to the main courtyard of my school and
went to my usual spot to meet mygood friend.
We went off campus and he mentioned that he wanted to
steal some DXM from the store byour school and of course I was
in. I've done DXM three times prior
to this trip and love the effects of it and intended to do
(30:45):
it again. So we went up to the store by
our school and grabbed our food and then headed over to the
medicine aisle and found some bottles of cough syrup with DXM
as the only active ingredient and my friend got the 89
milliliter and I get the 148 milliliter.
We stuck them in our hoodies, paid for the food and walked
out. We then did what we usually did
(31:07):
and walked over to the trail behind the store where we have
smoked weed in the past and hit our vapes before heading back to
school. We took the DXM out of our
hoodies and I decided I was going to do it tonight after
work but my friend decides to dohis bottle now since it was
smaller. He drank the bottle and we hit
our vapes, ate, talked, and headed back to school.
School and work was kind of a blur to me since it was like any
(31:29):
other day, but I got off work at9:00 PM and headed home and then
realized I still had the DXM on my backpack.
I took the bottle out and staredat it for what seemed like 30
minutes, contemplating whether Ishould take it now or when.
Another day I decided to just drink it since I was most likely
going to do these things the next day after school.
I drank the whole bottle plus anadditional 100 milligrams of
(31:52):
DXM, so about 988 milligrams of DXM.
I've never done that much DXM before.
My last three times were about 700 milligrams, but I had the
courage to do the whole thing plus more.
I looked at the time 10 PMI knewit was going to take a long time
to kick in since it was dextro, methamorin, polystyrex and I
(32:13):
know I mispronounced that but ittook I tried to record that 100
times and I missed messed it up.So give me a break. 10:30 PM.
No noticeable effects. Just went on my laptop and
watched some Netflix and listened to music and waited for
the onset. 11:00 PM No noticeable effects. 1115 PMI got
up to get some water and when I got up I noticed my legs felt a
(32:35):
tad bit heavier but it was not really anything too out of the
ordinary. 11:30 PM On set, I remember looking around my room
and feeling slightly dizzy. I got up and walked around my
room and felt that drunk feelingI knew so well it was coming.
I got excited and walked around some more and got back in bed
and waited for my peak at 12 AM.My peak was coming rapidly, way
(32:56):
quicker than I thought. I felt like I drank a boatload
of alcohol and smoked a ton of weed.
I noticed when I looked at my ceiling I noticed a very bright
square flash then disappear on my ceiling.
I've then decided to shut my eyes and put on some music and
let the DXM control me. My closed eye visuals were
amazing as well as music. I felt so euphoric and
(33:17):
completely restless even though I was in my room when it was
very dark at midnight on a school night.
I remember while listening to music and keep my eyes shut I
move my head around. It made my visuals more intense
and euphoric. I was having an amazing time
1:00 AM peak. I decided to turn off my music
and head to bed, but once I opened my eyes my room was so
weird looking. I can't describe it well but the
(33:39):
best way I can describe it was that it looked like it was
slowly melting. I was extremely dizzy and felt
very twisted. Shutting my laptop and sitting
on my floor was so difficult. Sitting up from my laying
position was nearly impossible but I managed to do it and laid
back down on my bed and attempt to sleep.
As my eyes were shut, it was impossible to sleep.
My closed eye visuals were supersuper intense.
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Nothing like I've ever experienced before.
This is when I realized how disassociated I was.
I completely forgot that I'd taken DXM a few hours prior.
I knew that I had done it, but Icompletely forgot the name of
it. I then opened my eyes and sat up
in my bed. I looked around and my room was
still melting. I remember giving myself a test
to see how disassociated I was. I decided to repeat my name and
(34:22):
address out loud to see before Ibegan.
I thought, wait, what is my nameagain?
And then tried anyways. I was completely wrong.
I then tried to sleep again and lay back down and shut my eyes.
I went to a different world. I cannot describe it at all
beside it seemed like I was withpeople talking to them and
seeing these super weird trees. 1:15 AM.
(34:44):
This is where my memory gets hazy.
I remember I opened my eyes and came back to earth and realized
I had to pee. This is the first time I tried
to walk in a long time. It was nearly impossible.
I got up and I felt so dizzy anddrunk and high.
I was walking out of my room when I tripped and almost fell
on my laptop charger cord. I opened my door and basically
fell out of my room and slammed into the wall twice since I
(35:06):
couldn't walk. Well I guess I still had a
little bit of a sober in me in my head because I told myself to
be quiet and not wake up my parents.
I then put both arms in the wallas support and slowly into the
bathroom. I got to my bathroom, let go of
the wall and stumbled into the bathroom.
I turned on the lights and took a piss somehow and after I
finished I wanted to look at myself in the mirror to see how
(35:27):
dilated my eyes were and I somewhat forgot what I looked
like. I looked at myself in the mirror
super closely and for some reason it seemed like my eyes
were totally normal. But I know it was the DXM
because I have a photo of myselffrom that night and my eyes were
huge. Then I observed myself.
I did not look like me, I cannotdescribe it, but I looked alien
and honestly scared the hell outof me.
(35:49):
I stared at myself wide eyed andterrified of how alien I looked
and I was convinced that's how Inormally look.
I then shrugged it off, turned off the lights, grabbed the wall
with both arms again and inched my way to my room.
I then fell on my bed and closedmy eyes again and entered that
same world I was in after that, forgot how to open my eyes
again. I was pretty much stuck in this
planet but I was too disassociated to care. 2:00 AM
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Now I've completely lost track of time and do not remember a
lot, so the time was a guess. I was in my own world.
I then had a thought of listening to music.
I somehow opened my eyes for thefirst time in a long time.
My room looks so bizarre. I examined my room for a while
and the object seemed to be so much taller than usual.
I then went to grab my laptop. The drunk and high feelings were
(36:34):
intense as hell so it was super hard.
All of a sudden. I made it like a mission.
I had voices in my head cheeringme on and I said out loud to my
voice is in my head, I'm going to grab my laptop and then reach
down and grabbed it, turn it on.And the voices in my head were
celebrating, giving me more euphoria than I already had,
which is a lot to begin with. I went on Spotify and played
(36:55):
some songs. They sounded like something I've
never heard before. They sounded so alien like and
it was so fascinating. I listened to music and had my
eyes shut like before, but I wasnot having closed eye visuals
anymore. I was just out of planet earth.
I was somewhere that I cannot name and cannot describe.
I then decided to turn off my music and just lay down on my
bed and turn towards my window. I all of a sudden had thoughts
(37:17):
that my room was a forest. I ignored that thought and
closed my eyes again. I have no idea who I was talking
to. I don't remember their voices, I
have no idea what we were talking about.
I don't remember any of that. I think the voices were some
kind of entities. I was in that world for the rest
of the night until 7 AMI do not remember anything else. 7:00 AM.
(37:37):
It felt like I just woke up, butI knew that was not true.
I knew I was wide awake and did not sleep at all.
I shut my eyes again and it was normal again.
So maybe I was asleep, I'm not sure.
I still felt the effects of the DXM and they were less intense
now. My room looked normal again.
I was able to walk after I took some practice laps around my
hallway upstairs before going downstairs to converse with my
dad. I did not want him to see me
(37:59):
stumble. I still felt extremely drunk and
high at the same time. I listened to music before
getting ready for school and it still sounded super fascinating
and amazing. I then got the hang of walking,
got ready for school and went downstairs and I was definitely
not able to drive to school so Ihad my dad drive me.
I think I was able to act somewhat sober since I was not
too disassociated anymore. I just told him I was tired.
(38:21):
Riding in the car felt so good. I savored every second of the
ride. I got to school and was walking
on campus so out of it. I got to my first period and I
had that class with my good friend mentioned in the
beginning of the story. I told him about my experience
last night and told him I was still pretty messed up.
He could tell I ended up fallingasleep in that class and looked
out for me the rest of the day. I was slowly coming down and I
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fell asleep in almost every one of my classes since I did not
sleep at all the night prior andthe DXM was mostly out of my
system but I still felt drunk. My lunch period comes again and
me and my friend meet up again. Head to the store and he says
he's going to steal some DXM again.
I said OK but did not want to steal any.
I was going to take a break fromit for a while since it was so
intense the night prior, but I was definitely do it again soon
(39:06):
because it was so amazing. Overall it was a super
therapeutic and enjoyable experience.
It gave me a different perspective to the world.
It taught me how intense this drug is and how amazing it
really is. And to this day I cannot decide
what plateau I reached. I want to say it was either
upper third plateau or lower 4thplateau.
This is what disassociation really looks like.
(39:27):
Not bright colors or blissful euphoria, but forgetting your
own name, seeing your face turn alien in the mirror, and falling
so deep into another world that you forgot how to open your
eyes. And what's disturbing is how
casual this story is. Stolen cough syrup, nearly a
gram of DXM and a body that can't walk straight.
But somehow the take away is that it was amazing.
(39:49):
This isn't just a trip, it's a, it's an honest warning.
Dissociatives don't show their damage right away.
They just slowly erase your connection to reality until
you're not sure who you are, where you are, or if you ever
left at all. And I really, you know, I'm sad
reading that last story because he's going to cause.
(40:11):
So much damage to himself. And that's the issue with a lot
of drugs, especially dissociatives, is that you know
it just even though you may havea positive experience, these
ones weren't horrifically terrifying like the delirium
video. But what is terrifying is that
after enough time, it will keep disassociating you over and over
(40:35):
again, and that connection in your brain will sever
permanently. And so you may be in a forever
world where you don't know what's real and what's not real.
And that's something that nobodyshould have to endure.
But I really hope you learned a lesson in this video.
Please don't do drugs, especially dissociatives or
delirians. If you want to learn more about
(40:56):
delirians, check out the video The Disturbing World.
To Delirians, that video is terrifying.
And this video was, you know, equally just weird and scary.
This was definitely a bit littlebit more positive, I guess, but
it's still a negative with how much damage you do to your mind.
Your mind's valuable. It's worth it.
Please don't do any sort of thisstuff.
I love you guys. Thank you so much for watching
(41:18):
you guys the best. Please like the video and
subscribe to the channel. I appreciate it.
And this was Snook and I'll see you next time.
Bye.
There's a type of substance thatdoesn't just change what you see
or feel. It pulls you completely out of
the world. You know your memory starts
slipping away, your sense of self fades, and reality becomes
a twisted, confusing maze. These are dissociatives,
substances that disconnect your mind from your body, leaving you
trapped in a silent, empty void.You won't find colours or
(00:23):
visions here. Instead, you might feel like a
ghost, watching your own life from afar, lost in a space where
time folds and your identity unravels.
From hospital anesthetics turn party substances to cough syrups
that send users spiraling into endless loops, this is the
disturbing world of dissociatives where they
familiar become strange and sometimes you never come back
(00:46):
the same. Before we dive into it, please
like and subscribe helps more than you can imagine.
Let's begin now. Before we get into the video, I
have to preface this by saying that this video is for
educational purposes only. I do not in any way condone the
usage of any substances mentioned in the video.
And by the end of this video, I think you'll be scared straight
(01:08):
into never even considering it. And by now you're probably
curious about what a dissociative is, assuming you're
not already familiar. So what is a dissociative?
There's a class of drugs that doesn't just change how you see
the world, it severs your connection to it entirely.
These are called dissociatives and they don't produce vivid
(01:28):
visuals or spiritual revelationslike classic psychedelics and
say they disconnect the brain from sensory input, body
awareness, and even your identity.
Scientifically, they work by blocking NMDA receptors,
disrupting the brains ability toprocess reality.
But the effect feels far more horrifying than technical.
(01:49):
Users report feelings like they're floating outside their
bodies, trapped in an endless loop, or watching the world
through a screen, unable to move, think clearly, or remember
who they are. And higher doses, the
hallucinations become so realistic and convincing that
it's nearly impossible to tell what's real and what's not.
You might have conversations with people who don't exist,
(02:10):
believe you're dead, or believe your God, or become convinced
you're stuck in another dimension.
Examples of a dissociative include ketamine, DXMPC, and
nitrous oxide, all of which can plunge users into a state of
terrifying detachment. Dissociatives don't just blur
reality, they actually just dismantle it.
And sometimes people don't fullycome back the same.
(02:33):
PCP PCP is one of the most notorious disassociatives ever
created. Originally synthesized in the
1950s as a surgical anesthetic, it was quickly abandoned for
human use when patients began exhibiting extreme confusion,
paranoia, and erratic behavior. The drug was too unpredictable
(02:54):
and too disturbing or replaced. It was ketamine, and we'll get
into that later. But on the streets, PCP, also
known as phenycodone, lived on not as a medicine, but as a drug
that can completely fracture a person's perception of reality
and turn them into someone unrecognizable.
Like other dissociatives, PCP works by blocking NMDA receptors
(03:17):
in the brain, disrupting the function of glutamate, the
neurotransmitter responsible forlearning, memory, and sensory
processing. When these signals are scrambled
or cut off, the result is disassociation.
The user becomes detached from their body, from time, and from
their identity. But PCP doesn't stop at this
connection. It really pushes the mind into
(03:38):
chaos. At moderate to high doses, PCP
can cause bizarre hallucinations, delusional
thinking, and a total breakdown of logic and control.
But perhaps most disturbingly, many users report feelings of
invincibility, believing they are immune to pain, unstoppable,
(03:58):
or even divine. Yeah, some people think they're
God. This delusion has led to
countless violence encounters with police where individuals on
PCP have walked through Tasers, broken through restraints, or
lashed out with superhuman force, not because the drug
gives them real power, but because it disconnects the brain
from pain, fear, and consequence.
(04:20):
Law enforcement has long viewed PCP as one of the most dangerous
St. dogs for exactly this reason.
A person high on PCP may feel NoFear, no hesitation, and no
ability to recognize danger either to themselves or others.
There are plenty of documented cases of users jumping from
buildings, attacking strangers, or running into traffic because
(04:41):
they simply have zero fear and feel invincible.
In some cases, they become a threat not just to officers, but
to their own friends, family, oreven their own body.
This is what makes PCP uniquely terrifying among dissociatives.
While drugs like ketamine may send users inward into cold,
dreamlike voids where that's nota good thing, but PCP often
(05:02):
turns the mind outward, warped, paranoid, and unpredictable.
It's a drug that doesn't just numb you, it breaks your
behavioral filter. And once that's gone, anything
going to happen. And the danger doesn't stop when
the high fades. Long term use of PCP can lead to
memory loss, depression, psychosis, and violent
flashbacks. For some, even a single use is
(05:25):
enough to permanently unhinge reality.
And this is the disturbing worldof dissociatives, and PCP is one
of its most violent and destructive inhabitants.
Now let's hear what it's like tofall into that world and what
someone saw from the inside whenthey lost their grip on reality.
(05:45):
Hallucinations, God and the devil.
My experiences with weed have been quite enjoyable thus far
and I have no regrets with the substance until now.
I just recently bought a $10 nugfrom a friend who had got it
from one of his friends and so on.
He had said that it might be a little small for the given
price, but it was really crip. So a few days later I decided to
(06:07):
smoke that bad boy. Little did I know it was laced
with a mean amount of PCP. I'd just gotten over to my
friend's house with the intention to smoke it outside,
but I couldn't due to the excessive amount of rainfall
where I live, so I had to settlefor the garage bathroom.
I lit it and took a few hits andrealized that this isn't
ordinary weed. A few hits later, I was
(06:27):
seriously fucked up and I had noidea of who I was and what I was
doing there. Everything looked like a moving
picture coming in and out of focus.
Then out of nowhere strange shitstarted happening.
My best friend had started to get very pissed off at the other
two that were there with us and started cussing and fighting
with them for no apparent reason.
It was really strange because hewas actually viewing me as his
(06:49):
only friend at the time. So we went for a walk, just me
and him. I began to think that I've been
viewing my life as a fool and I suddenly awoke as a God.
This is when he had started to talk shit about church and the
good Lord me, which upset me a little.
But nonetheless, he's my friend and I shall treat him like one
no matter what. So we kept on walking down my
street, which at the time seemedlike the border between heaven
(07:11):
and hell. I'd listened to all of his
troubles for what seemed like aneternity, and I just responded
to all of them in a calm, almostSt. like manner.
It was as if we were the 2 kingsof our worlds, and as different
as we were, we still have managed to be the best friends
at all times. I may have been tripping, but he
actually seemed like a differentperson at the time.
Like some kind of entity was possessing him, like some sort
(07:33):
of puppet. But of course the evil king had
a curfew like all teens. So we said our goodbyes, which I
didn't really understand but could still make a little sense
of, and we both went home. After doing a shit load of
chores, I decided to sleep thosepsychotic thoughts off. 2 hours
later I tripped even harder. I was talking to my mom about
food for some unknown reason andshe wasn't responding.
(07:54):
I soon found out that I wasn't talking at all.
This went on for about an hour, then I said it to doze off
again. I woke at 8:00 PM and ate
dinner, which didn't even seem like real like the rest of the
world. It has been 8 or 9 hours since
I'd smoked that laced crib and Istill feel psychotic.
Overall, this has been a horrifying, yet at the same time
spiritual experience. The strangest thing about this
(08:15):
whole trip is that even when I look back on it with an almost
clear mind, there was enough real evidence to prove that I
was God and my friend was the devil.
I'm not looking forward to my next accidental experience with
PCP and I'm never trusting my friend's friend again.
PS I'm still fucked up so if there are any misspelled words
or sentences that don't make sense, don't get mad because
(08:36):
it's hard as hell lol to type. Nonetheless, think right now.
And this is what makes PCP so dangerous.
A drug that doesn't just alter your perception, it rewires your
belief. One minute you think you're
smoking weed, the next you believe you're God speaking to
the devil, walking the edge of heaven and hell.
And I really couldn't find any more kind of disturbing PCP
(09:00):
stories because I think people who, you know, go really over
the edge are posting their experiences on, you know, the
Internet. But I think our friend here is
got lucky. And I think we can easily see
how, you know, it could go bad quickly because for someone,
they might believe they're God and everyone else is devils and
might believe they have to kill all the devils.
(09:20):
And I think that's how a lot of people get in trouble with PCP.
And it's very, very dangerous. And dissociatives like PCP just
dismantle your sense of self. And they blur the boundary
between thought and reality and leave users stranded in
delusions that feel just as realas the world around them.
(09:40):
What's worse is that even after the drug wears off, the
confusion can linger, sometimes for days and sometimes forever.
These substances don't just numbyour pain, they really silence
these systems that hold reality together.
And once those symptoms collapse, it's hard to tell
what's left. So please, just be careful out
there, guys. Ketamine.
(10:02):
Ketamine is one of the most disturbing substances in modern
medicine, a drug often used to silence pain, but one that can
just as easily silence reality. Originally developed in the
1960s as an anesthetic, ketamineis now used in operating rooms,
war zones, and even mental health clinics.
But beyond its medical uses liesa far darker potential.
(10:24):
When taken recreationally or at high doses, ketamine doesn't
only dull sensation, it disconnects the brain from
itself. This effect comes from
ketamine's unique interaction with the brains glutamate
system, specifically the NMDA receptors.
Glutamide is the brain's primaryexciterary neurotransmitter,
responsible for learning, memory, and perception, all
(10:48):
really important parts of the brain.
Ketamine blocks those NMDA receptors, interrupting the
brain's ability to process and integrate incoming information.
It's as if the signal between your senses and your
consciousness is being scrambledor cut off entirely.
This neural disconnection is what leads to the K hole, a
dissociative state where time collapses, the body becomes
(11:10):
foreign, and identity erodes. Users often describe feelings
like they've left their body, entered another dimension, or
died altogether. Visuals are not colorful or
vibrant, but cold, scary, and just wrong, like floating
through a sterile void or watching your thoughts unravel
into static. Because the brain is no longer
(11:31):
receiving coherent sensory input, it begins to just fill in
the blanks, sometimes with haunting hallucinations or
emotional numbness. On the outside, a person in the
K hole may appear motionless or incoherence because your brain
literally can't control your body anymore, while inside they
may be really living twisted memories, communicating with
(11:52):
imagined entities, or feeling trapped in a formless limbo.
While therapeutic doses are low and controlled, repeated or high
dose used can damage cognition, weaken memory, and even alter
personality. It's a substance that bends the
brain by force, and the deeper you go, the harder it is to
reassemble what's left of you. And now let's get into a first
(12:15):
hand account from someone who went too far in what they
experienced first K Hole, the true horror behind reality.
Here is a trip report of my first K hole experience.
I tried quite a few times to reach this level before, but
always came up a little short ofgetting there.
Though many of those experienceswere somewhat profound too, they
(12:37):
pale in comparison to this one. The part of the report detailing
my time out of the body has beenchanged little since I wrote it
the following morning. It seemed to last in eternity.
But this part of the report is not very long.
Words cannot describe the strangeness and magnitude of
what happened during much of thetrip, nor can they really
describe the sensory detail or mental aspects of what happened.
(12:59):
The only way I could really lengthen that part of the report
is by repeating the same type ofinadequate description over and
over again. I would say it was a definite
plus four level experience, but of a dark frightening nature,
unlike the few plus four level experiences I have had in my
many tryptamine and phenol thyminine trips which all
(13:20):
occurred during states of bliss and joy.
I waited over a week to post this so that I'd be able to
include some info on any positive or negative effects the
experience had that lasted more than a day or two.
That is after the trip report. I can't give a timeline of
events because I wasn't watchingthe time too well, not at all
while in the K hole. I know I wasn't in the K hole
(13:41):
for much more than an hour because it was something after
1:00 AM when I last saw the clock and about 2:30 AM when I
first noticed the clock after coming out.
I'm not going to write much about the effects of the
ketamine prior to going into theK hole.
I'm also unsure of what the actual dose was equivalent to.
I took maybe 100 or so milligrams as another larger
(14:01):
dose was wearing off. I'd guess in the few 100
milligram range as a few 100 milligrams of the time was not
enough to produce this type of trip.
I weigh over 280 lbs so it takesme more than it would an average
size person. The trip reports as originally
written with a bit of added info, mostly regarding things
before leaving and after returning to my body.
(14:23):
I had taken several shots of ketamine up to a few 100
milligrams at a time. I was hoping to have the out of
body experiences, entity contacts, and immersions into
new realities that a new ketamine was capable of
producing. Even with this dose, I hadn't
quite reached that kind of state.
I was quite high at this point, Very high in fact.
Each time I took a shot of ketamine, it felt like I was
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started accelerating to a high speed.
This happened once again with this next the last shot.
The air started to feel thick. I felt like parts of my body
were missing. My hands seem to be disconnected
from my arms where I was no longer aware of anything between
my hands and shoulders. I felt as though I was being
watched by something. What it was, I did not know.
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Visuals consisted of green corridors and static.
I felt fear at times, but I was able to tell myself that I was
safe. I knew there was something
beyond this though. I was getting frustrated by the
fact that I still hadn't reachedit, and my chance to do so was
running out. Because my supply of ketamine
was nearly gone, it could be a long time before I could get any
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more. I was down to my last chance as
the effects hurt to wear off. I had only 1 lash out of
ketamine and still hadn't reached what I thought was the K
hole. I had plenty of intense
experiences but never lost contact with my body.
I decided to inject your main ketamine into a muscle.
I'd guess it was around a few 100 milligrams, but I'm not
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sure. This would not be enough to get
me to the K hole if I wasn't still strongly under the
influence of ketamine. Once again I started to feel the
acceleration. I did definitely reach the K
hole level this time. The last thing I did in this
world was pee in a jug. I could not have walked to the
bathroom to do it. I've been doing this for several
days while on ketamine and hadn't emptied the bottle.
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It had a lid so I didn't think it mattered.
There must have been close to a gallon of old piss in there.
It was about this time that I lost complete awareness of my
body and went through several levels of existence before
ending up on slash in what I will call the hardware level
since it seemed that all existence was a strange
computer. There are two levels I remember
better than the others. The first was a world that was
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fairly similar to this one, but inhabited by many strange
creatures. There are trees and plants like
in this world, though they didn't look quite the same.
I felt like I had some kind of power, though I'm not sure what
it was. I could see a city on a hill in
the distance, with shiny buildings, perhaps glass
reflecting sunlight. There was a boy, maybe 15 years
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old or so, walking down the pathbetween some trees.
I thought at the time that this was me.
A large colorful bird flew overhead while I was walking or
drifting down the path, and it left rainbows and colorful dust
falling behind it. My feeling of happiness grew
into outright bliss. It was the type of bliss that I
had rarely felt, only on the best of psychedelic trips, once
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without any drugs and never withany other type of drugs.
As far as I was concerned, everything I experienced in the
K hole was my real life and I had little or no memory of
anything before I stayed here inthis world for what seemed like
quite a while, I had no memory of using any drug.
My mind was not working normallythough, and I had some
realization of that at times. This did not trouble me at all.
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I was totally immersed in the moment.
I was eventually pulled out of that first world.
I don't remember how it happenedor what it felt like.
I no longer had even an imaginedbody that was anything like the
real one, if I had one at all. I went through one or more
poorly divined levels of existence that just blurred
together before arriving at a level I find hard to describe.
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Perhaps those levels were not sopoorly defined and I just passed
through them too fast to see what they were like.
I eventually reached the true reality, the one that this and
the other universes were built upon.
The one where our souls truly reside.
I would stay here for what seemed like an enormous amount
of time. It wasn't too bad at first, but
quickly became hellish. I was like a bunch of rubber
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bands tangled and looped together, moving along with
other masses of tangled rubber bands.
For some reason, it began to feel like torture.
I eventually got down to the point where I was the only one
of these things I could really detect, so I knew there were
others. I was asking for help.
I wanted out of there. I asked what I guess might be
God for help, but at the time I thought maybe I was one of many
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gods who had created false universes to escape into.
I brought this on myself. I never felt as though I was
being punished by some deity. I knew that I removed myself
from the universe that had been created to shield me and
everyone else from this true reality.
I was at first moving or rollingalong what might have been like
a grid. Any changes in direction seem to
be 90° shifts in direction or movement straight up or down,
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usually down. I felt something like static and
electric feelings even though I didn't have any sort of a body,
just being a mass of tangled strings or loops.
I eventually stopped moving. The torment grew even more
intense. Once that happened, I was
begging for help more than ever,trying to get back into my
universe I could possibly enter,and trying to create some new
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reality of my mind that I could then enter to escape the
torment. A couple of times I knew I ended
up there by taking a drug, but had no idea what that meant, so
it did nothing to help me understand what had happened.
I didn't know if I would be in that state forever or not.
I could remember something of a past before it got like this and
believed it to have been a falsereality.
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I could remember the first K hole level better than my real
life. At this point, though some of
both lives was available. I would have been happy to go
back to either one. I was occasionally see an image
of a family member and knew theywere somehow important, but I
did not know why. Sometimes there were names
attached to them but did not know what it meant.
I'd get glimpses of that first world I visited mixed in with
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these other images. For all I knew, they could have
all been from the same place. I had little understanding of
anything. I just knew I was suffering
greatly and that I was now in mytrue form, seen and being part
of the fabric of all that exists.
All of the higher level things have been stripped away.
I knew that I once wanted to seethe true nature of reality.
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Now I knew what it was and it was truly horrific.
I now wanted only to get back into one of the universes so
that this suffering would stop. I now understood why the truth
of existence was hidden from us,or why we hid it from ourselves.
Things went on like this for so long, pretty much staying the
same. I'm not sure why exactly it was
so unpleasant. I did eventually return to my
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life, but only after another enormous amount of time seemed
to pass. I was very confused and still
felt like I was in another world.
When I did come out of the K hole, I was in a dark room with
the only lights being from the digital clock and optical mouse.
I cannot understand why they were there.
Something smelled bad. I didn't yet identify this as a
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smell. I still couldn't understand my
body or sensory perceptions. I did understand that I made it
out of that horrible place. I eventually began to understand
things a little better and came to understand what had happened.
I realized at this point that the boy I saw in the first phase
of the experience was not me. I came to the conclusion that it
was someone else in another universe that I passed through
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before going down to the low level fabric of reality.
I still believed everything I experienced really happened.
I thought that we would all return to that level of
existence at the time of death, then enter a new life in one of
the many universes. I soon discovered then that a
big jug of piss was dumped out into the floor.
I must have dropped it as I was going out of body.
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Some things were damaged or destroyed, books, magazines,
some of my poppy pods. I didn't care at the time.
I fell on the floor at some point.
It may have been before or rightafter the K hole.
I may have even been in the floor the whole time I was in
the floor. I don't know why that old piss
all over me. I then started laughing
uncontrollably. I don't know why I just couldn't
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stop laughing. After coming down a bit more, I
cleaned things up a bit and tried to save what could be
saved. Nothing too important was
destroyed. It still smelled pretty bad.
I came down some more and then went to sleep.
I finished the cleaning the nextmorning.
Now I am out of ketamine. That is OK.
I don't need any more right now.Also, if I ever use another drug
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that makes walking difficult andI piss in a container, I'll be
sure to empty it once the drug wears off.
I don't want to end up making another mess like the one I made
that night. A lid won't help if you drop it
while the container is open the following morning and afternoon.
Maybe I'll try this again in a month or two.
If I can get some more. Maybe I'll stay on slash in a
good levels next time. Right now there's still at least
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a little fear that I could not only end back up in the bad
place, but be stuck there for a long time, possibly forever.
The description I gave for the second reality I described can't
come close to what it was reallylike.
I have no way to describe it in a way that could capture what it
was really like on a mental or sensory level.
I know I felt great today, so happy to be alive and in the
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same old world I usually want toescape from.
It feels like I've been touched by something beautiful on some
deep level I can't describe. It also seems more likely at the
moment that I Will Survive death.
All of this will likely fade quickly with time, but it can be
good. For now.
My mood is markedly elevated from its normal level.
I'm happy and usually feel depressed.
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This is the afternoon after about 12 to 13 hours after the K
hole. I'm almost back to baseline,
mind functioning near its normallevel the week after.
Here is how I felt during the week after the experience.
Changes in mood, outlook and personality and changes.
My mood has remained at a betterthan usual level for the last
week. I wouldn't say that I've been
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happy, but certainly not depressed like I was before.
But a desire for drugs seems to be decreased, though not for
psychedelics. I ended up tripping on something
six days after the ketamine, which brought up a lot of
feelings and thoughts I had on ketamine.
It was a lot more intense and philosophical than most trips,
and I was really unsure of pretty much everything about
myself in reality. Below is a post I made to a
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message board during the trip, tripping on something that I
took earlier, followed by the few milligrams.
I just snorted half an hour ago feeling a bit nausea and I've
developed a very slight headache, not enough to distract
me. This is bringing up those
experiences I had in the K hole.Not like reliving them, but
filling the memories in a strongway that is partially like
reliving them. Having lots of weird and crazy
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thoughts of the nature of reality and of what we really
are as a result. How do we know what is real as a
universe we inhabit? Something either fake or real
that we created to escape into? How do we even know that what is
in our memory is real and not something fabricated by
ourselves or someone slash something else from nothing or
something completely different from what we would think
happened? I don't know what is real or
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what to think. Maybe it will someday, or maybe
never. Maybe I would hate to find out,
and I'm still addicted to poppies, but it seems like my
desire to use them doesn't usually come until I start to
feel withdrawal symptoms. Now, prior to this I was
sometimes using three or four times a day, though usually
twice. I've not felt the need to get
high nearly as much since the ketamine experience.
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I don't know how long these positive changes will last.
I don't mean to imply that my desire to get high has been
eliminated, but it is definitelyreduced.
I now feel that surviving the death of our bodies is more
likely than I felt before. I have never held on to that
feeling for more than two or three days after another
psychedelic experience that showed me that possibility.
It has been more than a week nowand I still feel that this is a
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very good thing, as the thought of everyone I care about and I'm
not existing bothers me more than anything else.
Now I have hope that there is something after this life that
we can possibly enter new lives after this one ends.
Perhaps it is foolish to let a drug induce experience change my
feelings towards life and death,but I say a positive change in
outlook is good whether drug induced or not.
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I don't think I could undo thesechanges at the moment without
making a big effort. And why would I want to?
Logically, I should have no doubt that what I experienced
was nothing more than hallucinations and delusions
brought on by a drug known to 'cause these type of effects.
It still feels like I saw the true nature of reality, what I
and everything in the universe are made of.
Like I saw where this level existence comes from.
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Like I saw my soul. Right now I do have doubts and
feel unsure of what to believe. I don't really know how to
describe it. All the descriptions I've given
of the second part of the K holeseem inadequate to me.
I'm not the best writer in the world.
Maybe someone else would have a better luck describing it.
I've done about the best I can. As unpleasant as much of this
experience was, I definitely consider it to have been a +1.
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It certainly seems to have changed my outlook on life in a
positive way and helped with my depression, at least
temporarily. How long these changes last
remains to be seen. And this is the disturbing
reality of dissociatives. While they can produce surreal,
even spiritual experiences, theyoften plunge users into
terrifying states that blur the line between death, madness and
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something worse. For some, that horror fades with
time. For others, it leaves a scar.
And the scariest part, in the moment, you won't know which one
you'll be. In my opinion, I think this guy
got lucky because in that secondlevel, he says, you know, he
showed or said how painful it really was.
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And for some people that can last the entire trip, that can
last for, you know, weeks after.So I do consider this guy to be
lucky and it's just not worth risking.
DXMDXM is one of the most deceptively dangerous
dissociatives in existence. Man, that's one hell of a tongue
twister. Found in over the counter cough
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medicines like Robitussin and Delsym.
It was never designed to alter consciousness, yet in high doses
it can warp reality just as drastically as ketamine or PCP.
What makes DXM especially unsettling is how easy it is to
access. It's sold legally in most drug
stores, disguised in cherry flavored syrups and gel
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capsules. But when it be used, it becomes
something else entirely. At its core, DXM is a
dissociative anesthetic, one that, like ketamine, blocks NMDA
receptors in the brain, disrupting how we process
sensory input, memory, and identity.
And we've been through that before.
But DXM doesn't just cause disconnection.
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It comes in stages, known among users as the plateaus.
Plateaus mimic a drunken, euphoric state, but as the dose
increases, the experience turns deeply dissociative.
Visual distortions, time loops, internal dialogues with imagined
entities, and eventually full ego death.
High dose DXM trips can feel like being uploaded into a
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digital limbo because users report floating through static
filled voids, losing all sense of their body and experiencing
intense introspection that borders on psychosis.
Some believe they're dead, others think they've become
gods. In some cases, users forget what
language is, who they are, or that they even exist.
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But DX Ms. effects aren't just psychological.
In high doses, it can cause seizures, hypothermia,
hallucination, induce accidents and serotonin syndrome, a
potentially fatal condition whenmixed with other substances like
antidepressants. Long term abuse has also been
linked to cognitive damage, paranoia and persistent
disassociation. A condition where the brain
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never fully reconnects. And because it's easy to
underestimate, many first time users take far more than they
realize. A normal therapeutic dose is,
you know, 10 to 30 milligrams. Recreational users often take
hundreds or thousands of milligrams, sometimes without
realizing how far they're pushing themselves away from
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reality and themselves. DXM is the most accessible and
misunderstood gateway. Now a first hand look at what
happens when a familiar medicinestops healing you and starts
dismantling everything you know about yourself.
What's my name again? It came last Thursday when I
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decided to trip on some DXMI. Was in school when my lunch
period came and I went to the main courtyard of my school and
went to my usual spot to meet mygood friend.
We went off campus and he mentioned that he wanted to
steal some DXM from the store byour school and of course I was
in. I've done DXM three times prior
to this trip and love the effects of it and intended to do
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it again. So we went up to the store by
our school and grabbed our food and then headed over to the
medicine aisle and found some bottles of cough syrup with DXM
as the only active ingredient and my friend got the 89
milliliter and I get the 148 milliliter.
We stuck them in our hoodies, paid for the food and walked
out. We then did what we usually did
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and walked over to the trail behind the store where we have
smoked weed in the past and hit our vapes before heading back to
school. We took the DXM out of our
hoodies and I decided I was going to do it tonight after
work but my friend decides to dohis bottle now since it was
smaller. He drank the bottle and we hit
our vapes, ate, talked, and headed back to school.
School and work was kind of a blur to me since it was like any
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other day, but I got off work at9:00 PM and headed home and then
realized I still had the DXM on my backpack.
I took the bottle out and staredat it for what seemed like 30
minutes, contemplating whether Ishould take it now or when.
Another day I decided to just drink it since I was most likely
going to do these things the next day after school.
I drank the whole bottle plus anadditional 100 milligrams of
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DXM, so about 988 milligrams of DXM.
I've never done that much DXM before.
My last three times were about 700 milligrams, but I had the
courage to do the whole thing plus more.
I looked at the time 10 PMI knewit was going to take a long time
to kick in since it was dextro, methamorin, polystyrex and I
(32:13):
know I mispronounced that but ittook I tried to record that 100
times and I missed messed it up.So give me a break. 10:30 PM.
No noticeable effects. Just went on my laptop and
watched some Netflix and listened to music and waited for
the onset. 11:00 PM No noticeable effects. 1115 PMI got
up to get some water and when I got up I noticed my legs felt a
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tad bit heavier but it was not really anything too out of the
ordinary. 11:30 PM On set, I remember looking around my room
and feeling slightly dizzy. I got up and walked around my
room and felt that drunk feelingI knew so well it was coming.
I got excited and walked around some more and got back in bed
and waited for my peak at 12 AM.My peak was coming rapidly, way
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quicker than I thought. I felt like I drank a boatload
of alcohol and smoked a ton of weed.
I noticed when I looked at my ceiling I noticed a very bright
square flash then disappear on my ceiling.
I've then decided to shut my eyes and put on some music and
let the DXM control me. My closed eye visuals were
amazing as well as music. I felt so euphoric and
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completely restless even though I was in my room when it was
very dark at midnight on a school night.
I remember while listening to music and keep my eyes shut I
move my head around. It made my visuals more intense
and euphoric. I was having an amazing time
1:00 AM peak. I decided to turn off my music
and head to bed, but once I opened my eyes my room was so
weird looking. I can't describe it well but the
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best way I can describe it was that it looked like it was
slowly melting. I was extremely dizzy and felt
very twisted. Shutting my laptop and sitting
on my floor was so difficult. Sitting up from my laying
position was nearly impossible but I managed to do it and laid
back down on my bed and attempt to sleep.
As my eyes were shut, it was impossible to sleep.
My closed eye visuals were supersuper intense.
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Nothing like I've ever experienced before.
This is when I realized how disassociated I was.
I completely forgot that I'd taken DXM a few hours prior.
I knew that I had done it, but Icompletely forgot the name of
it. I then opened my eyes and sat up
in my bed. I looked around and my room was
still melting. I remember giving myself a test
to see how disassociated I was. I decided to repeat my name and
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address out loud to see before Ibegan.
I thought, wait, what is my nameagain?
And then tried anyways. I was completely wrong.
I then tried to sleep again and lay back down and shut my eyes.
I went to a different world. I cannot describe it at all
beside it seemed like I was withpeople talking to them and
seeing these super weird trees. 1:15 AM.
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This is where my memory gets hazy.
I remember I opened my eyes and came back to earth and realized
I had to pee. This is the first time I tried
to walk in a long time. It was nearly impossible.
I got up and I felt so dizzy anddrunk and high.
I was walking out of my room when I tripped and almost fell
on my laptop charger cord. I opened my door and basically
fell out of my room and slammed into the wall twice since I
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couldn't walk. Well I guess I still had a
little bit of a sober in me in my head because I told myself to
be quiet and not wake up my parents.
I then put both arms in the wallas support and slowly into the
bathroom. I got to my bathroom, let go of
the wall and stumbled into the bathroom.
I turned on the lights and took a piss somehow and after I
finished I wanted to look at myself in the mirror to see how
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dilated my eyes were and I somewhat forgot what I looked
like. I looked at myself in the mirror
super closely and for some reason it seemed like my eyes
were totally normal. But I know it was the DXM
because I have a photo of myselffrom that night and my eyes were
huge. Then I observed myself.
I did not look like me, I cannotdescribe it, but I looked alien
and honestly scared the hell outof me.
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I stared at myself wide eyed andterrified of how alien I looked
and I was convinced that's how Inormally look.
I then shrugged it off, turned off the lights, grabbed the wall
with both arms again and inched my way to my room.
I then fell on my bed and closedmy eyes again and entered that
same world I was in after that, forgot how to open my eyes
again. I was pretty much stuck in this
planet but I was too disassociated to care. 2:00 AM
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Now I've completely lost track of time and do not remember a
lot, so the time was a guess. I was in my own world.
I then had a thought of listening to music.
I somehow opened my eyes for thefirst time in a long time.
My room looks so bizarre. I examined my room for a while
and the object seemed to be so much taller than usual.
I then went to grab my laptop. The drunk and high feelings were
(36:34):
intense as hell so it was super hard.
All of a sudden. I made it like a mission.
I had voices in my head cheeringme on and I said out loud to my
voice is in my head, I'm going to grab my laptop and then reach
down and grabbed it, turn it on.And the voices in my head were
celebrating, giving me more euphoria than I already had,
which is a lot to begin with. I went on Spotify and played
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some songs. They sounded like something I've
never heard before. They sounded so alien like and
it was so fascinating. I listened to music and had my
eyes shut like before, but I wasnot having closed eye visuals
anymore. I was just out of planet earth.
I was somewhere that I cannot name and cannot describe.
I then decided to turn off my music and just lay down on my
bed and turn towards my window. I all of a sudden had thoughts
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that my room was a forest. I ignored that thought and
closed my eyes again. I have no idea who I was talking
to. I don't remember their voices, I
have no idea what we were talking about.
I don't remember any of that. I think the voices were some
kind of entities. I was in that world for the rest
of the night until 7 AMI do not remember anything else. 7:00 AM.
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It felt like I just woke up, butI knew that was not true.
I knew I was wide awake and did not sleep at all.
I shut my eyes again and it was normal again.
So maybe I was asleep, I'm not sure.
I still felt the effects of the DXM and they were less intense
now. My room looked normal again.
I was able to walk after I took some practice laps around my
hallway upstairs before going downstairs to converse with my
dad. I did not want him to see me
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stumble. I still felt extremely drunk and
high at the same time. I listened to music before
getting ready for school and it still sounded super fascinating
and amazing. I then got the hang of walking,
got ready for school and went downstairs and I was definitely
not able to drive to school so Ihad my dad drive me.
I think I was able to act somewhat sober since I was not
too disassociated anymore. I just told him I was tired.
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Riding in the car felt so good. I savored every second of the
ride. I got to school and was walking
on campus so out of it. I got to my first period and I
had that class with my good friend mentioned in the
beginning of the story. I told him about my experience
last night and told him I was still pretty messed up.
He could tell I ended up fallingasleep in that class and looked
out for me the rest of the day. I was slowly coming down and I
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fell asleep in almost every one of my classes since I did not
sleep at all the night prior andthe DXM was mostly out of my
system but I still felt drunk. My lunch period comes again and
me and my friend meet up again. Head to the store and he says
he's going to steal some DXM again.
I said OK but did not want to steal any.
I was going to take a break fromit for a while since it was so
intense the night prior, but I was definitely do it again soon
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because it was so amazing. Overall it was a super
therapeutic and enjoyable experience.
It gave me a different perspective to the world.
It taught me how intense this drug is and how amazing it
really is. And to this day I cannot decide
what plateau I reached. I want to say it was either
upper third plateau or lower 4thplateau.
This is what disassociation really looks like.
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Not bright colors or blissful euphoria, but forgetting your
own name, seeing your face turn alien in the mirror, and falling
so deep into another world that you forgot how to open your
eyes. And what's disturbing is how
casual this story is. Stolen cough syrup, nearly a
gram of DXM and a body that can't walk straight.
But somehow the take away is that it was amazing.
(39:49):
This isn't just a trip, it's a, it's an honest warning.
Dissociatives don't show their damage right away.
They just slowly erase your connection to reality until
you're not sure who you are, where you are, or if you ever
left at all. And I really, you know, I'm sad
reading that last story because he's going to cause.
(40:11):
So much damage to himself. And that's the issue with a lot
of drugs, especially dissociatives, is that you know
it just even though you may havea positive experience, these
ones weren't horrifically terrifying like the delirium
video. But what is terrifying is that
after enough time, it will keep disassociating you over and over
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again, and that connection in your brain will sever
permanently. And so you may be in a forever
world where you don't know what's real and what's not real.
And that's something that nobodyshould have to endure.
But I really hope you learned a lesson in this video.
Please don't do drugs, especially dissociatives or
delirians. If you want to learn more about
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delirians, check out the video The Disturbing World.
To Delirians, that video is terrifying.
And this video was, you know, equally just weird and scary.
This was definitely a bit littlebit more positive, I guess, but
it's still a negative with how much damage you do to your mind.
Your mind's valuable. It's worth it.
Please don't do any sort of thisstuff.
I love you guys. Thank you so much for watching
(41:18):
you guys the best. Please like the video and
subscribe to the channel. I appreciate it.
And this was Snook and I'll see you next time.
Bye.
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