So I was Told

We need to talk about the obsession with red flags. It's frustrating how, “healing” became about seeing danger in everything and calling it discernment. But what if the thing you’re calling a red flag… is just fear? Or discomfort? Or your nervous system reminding you of stories from your past?

In this episode I dig into the difference between intuition and hypervigilance, explore how insecure attachment can warp our perception o...

In this heatwave fueled fever dream of an episode, the conversation goes off the rails almost immediately and never really returns. You can literally here the descent into madness. Blame the non-existent AC or the slow descent into sweat-soaked delirium, but today’s topics range from Big Bang denial and simulation theory to AI bros, tiny prehistoric humans, Arrowhead water red flags, and the possibility that dinosaurs were basicall...

It’s July 4th, but don’t expect fireworks. Expect facts. Today we confront the lie at the heart of “American freedom.” From land theft to forced labor, from mass incarceration to queer erasure, this country has rationed liberty based on race, gender, and class. We’re talking real history because love for a place means holding it accountable, not covering it in red, white, and denial.Show Notes:

• Michelle Alexander – The New Jim C...

We've got another special guest episode here; things start off unserious and end somewhere heavy. Tattoo sessions, text threads, British tea vs testosterone—nothing is off limits as we welcome Eva (@birdlets, they/them) to the pod. Together we unpack the covert (and not so covert) harassment that’s become routine in the service industry, the collective instincts women and femmes develop to survive it, and why cis men still miss...

There were a lot of things I believed about manhood, control, friendship, and faith—or so I was told.

Most of it? BS

In this episode, I unpack the five things I wish someone had told me before the shame, the self-sabotage, and the silent suffering took root. We get into toxic masculinity, performative faith, the danger of being the “contrarian,” and why therapy cracked everything open. This one’s about unlearning the lies that kept m...

In this episode of So I Was Told, we rip the mask off fascism. Not the cartoonish kind from history books, but the subtler, modern forms that worm their way into policy, media, and everyday culture. From the rise of white nationalist rhetoric in government to book bans disguised as “parental rights,” we explore how authoritarian tactics are being rebranded for a new generation. We’ll break down the characteristics of fascism, track...

In the finale of the Idol Series, we turn the mirror inward. What happens when the last idol left standing is...ourselves? This episode confronts the seductive pull of hyper-individualism, the myth of self-made salvation, and the spiritual exhaustion of always being our own answer. We explore how the performance of autonomy can become its own trap—where every boundary, every goal, every ritual is curated in service of an image we’r...

What if the thing you’ve been craving most, being chosen, was never the real prize?

In this episode of the Idol Series, we unpack the deeply embedded belief that being “the one” will finally make us whole. Whether it’s romantic validation, parental approval, or just being picked above the rest, many of us have built our self-worth around someone else’s selection.

But what happens when the person you wanted finally chooses you and it ...

In this unreleased episode, we dig into how Christianity, as it exists in America today, came to look so little like the teachings of Christ.

This is an unfiltered look at how empire, colonialism, and patriarchy have long used religion to justify subjugation and power. We talk about the historical roots of American Christianity, the weaponization of tradition, and how faith morphed into a culture war strategy instead of a communal p...

What happens when healing stops being human and starts becoming holy?

In this episode of the Idol Series, we unpack how personal growth morphed into performance, how the pursuit of wholeness became its own religion, and why the wellness industry would rather keep you chasing than arriving. From curated vulnerability on Instagram to the high priests of self-help culture, we explore how “doing the work” quietly became a new kind of wo...

We all want to be seen, but what happens when that desire becomes doctrine? In this episode we explore how praise, likes, and external approval have become the new holy grail. From dopamine loops to identity distortion, we break down the neuroscience, psychology, and soul-level consequences of living for applause.

This is about more than social media. It’s about how we build ourselves in front of mirrors and what happens when they c...

In this episode, we explore the concept of idolatry—not just in religious terms, but how we place value on external things and people, and how that defines our identity. From sexual identity to consumerism and hyper-individualism, we discuss the dangers of idolizing what is fleeting and how it affects not just our personal worth, but the communities we belong to. Tune in for a deep dive into how releasing our idols can lead to a mo...

We’ve been taught there are only two options: be selfless and good, or selfish and bad. But what about the space in between? In this episode, I dig into the messy, misunderstood terrain between giving too much and not giving a damn. We’ll talk about the ways selflessness can turn into self-abandonment, how setting boundaries can be mistaken for cruelty, and why choosing yourself doesn’t make you the villain. I’m challenging the bin...

Happiness...It's the goal in every ad, the promise behind every “how to fix your life” post. But what happens when chasing it leaves you emptier than before? In this episode, I get honest about what happens when happiness becomes the obsession and why I’ve started choosing joy instead. This isn’t a step-by-step guide. It’s a reflection. A reminder that peace isn’t always loud. And maybe what you’re looking for isn’t a high—it’s...

In this episode I talk about words — the ones you say to yourself in the mirror and the ones you whisper into someone else’s storm. From self-sabotage disguised as “real talk” to affirmations that literally rewire your brain, this episode breaks down the psychology and spirit behind speaking life.

We’ll unpack why your inner voice matters more than you think, how to build a habit of uplifting others without sounding fake, and what n...

What if the future you’ve been told to accept… isn’t the only one available? In this episode, we rip up the blueprint of the world we’ve inherited and dare to imagine something better. Inspired by the concept of the card Collective Future Dreaming written by author Yumi Sakugawa, I explore how unjust systems have shaped the path ahead and how radical imagination, healing, and collaboration can shift what’s possible.

This isn’t about...