Ep. 2: Navigating Pride Month

In this podcast episode, co-hosts Aster and SeVen delve into the complexities of Pride Month and discuss the importance of celebrating the LGBTQ+ community. They explore the positive aspects of Pride Month, as well as the challenges and controversies that can arise. Through their perspective, they offer unique insights and foster meaningful dialogue on this important topic.

Music by u_98o9hlkn7r via Pixabay

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello and welcome to the Sofa Talk podcast. I'm your
co host.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
Astor I'm your co host seven.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Let's talk it out and lounge it up. Reappreciate you listening.
This is episode two and the title today's episode is
Navigating Pride Month. This episode is about highlighting the challenges
of Pride Month and celebrating the LGBTQ plus communities. Welcome back.

(00:54):
That lounge hip hop beat is music by you Underscore
ninety eight oh l K N seven R from pixa Bay.
Thank you for the music sample. So last year during
Pride Month, we had created a poem when we posted
on our social media channels which is Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

(01:17):
In case you all missed it, I am going to
read the poem to you right now in honor of
Pride Month. In the month of June, we commend and
celebrate you. Being you is who you are, not what
you choose. Continue to live your truth, don't be ashamed
or hide what makes you, be bold and live out loud.

(01:41):
There's only one of you from Sofa Talk, so that's
for all you people in that community. We commend you.
So here's something interesting. I had a side conversation with
my sister a few weeks ago in regards to Pride Month,

(02:05):
and she wanted to know if the suicide rate for
the gay individuals was lower now compared to when being
gay was heavily stigmatized back in the days. And I
was like, you know what, that's perfect. I'm going to
look that information up for the podcast and share it,
so let's find out if that's true. So, according to

(02:30):
the Trevor Project, I'm sorry, there was a twenty twenty
four US National Survey on the Mental Health of the
LGBTQ plus young people. In the introduction, I'll read a
few sentences from this. The Trevor Projects twenty twenty four
US National Survey on the Mental Health of lgbt Q

(02:54):
plus Young People amplifies the experiences of more than eighteen
thousand LGBTQ plus young people ages thirteen to twenty four
across the United States for the sixth year. The US
national survey uncovers the reality that there is a significant
association between anti LGBTQ plus victimization and disproportionately high rates

(03:19):
of suicide risk, and that far too many young people
struggle to access the mental health care they need, so
pretty much. The suicide rates remain high, especially with the youth.
So some other information and key findings that they had

(03:40):
was thirty nine percent of LGBTQ plus young people seriously
considered attempting suicide in the past year, including forty six
percent of transgender and non binary young people. LGBTQ plus
youth of color reported higher rates than white peers. More

(04:02):
than one in ten. Twelve percent LGBTQ plus young people
attempted suicide in the past year. There's more findings. Fifty
percent of LGBTQ plus young people who wanted mental health
care in the past year were not able to get it.

(04:26):
More than half fifty four percent of transgender and non
binary young people found their school to be gender affirming,
and those who did report at lower rates of attempting suicide.
Ninety percent of LGBTQ plus young people said they were well,

(04:48):
I'm sorry, I said their well being was negatively impacted
due to recent politics. Forty five percent of transgender and
non binary young people reported that they or their family
have consent that are moving to a different state because
of LGBTQ plus related politics and laws. So that's information

(05:09):
is very important. Then they also have two more things.
In addition, nearly half forty nine percent of LGBTQ plus
young people ages thirteen to seventeen experienced bullying and the
past year, and those who did report it significantly higher
rates attempting suicide in the past year than those who

(05:30):
did not experience bully bullying. LGBTQ plus young people who
reported it living in very accepting communities attend to suicide
at less than half the rate of those who reported
living in very unaccepting communities. So that concludes that. And
that's from the Trevor Project. If you want to access

(05:51):
more information and more data, you can go to www.
Dot The Trevor Project dot org. Forward Slash Survey hyphen
twenty twenty four. Something interesting to that I had recently
had watched a movie. It was a documentary called deep

(06:11):
Water The Real Story by Amanda Blue that was released
in twenty sixteen. So there was pretty much like segments
of family and friends, loved ones, and co workers who
discussed the individuals that were either there were victims we
can call them victims, whether they were survivors or whether

(06:34):
they are now deceased at the hands of being bashed.
And this is like literally being bashed verbally and physically.
This happened in Sydney, Australia in around the nineteen seventies
and nineteen eighties. In the nineteen nineties, there were multiple

(06:55):
murders that were occurring based on gay males their sexual
preference or orientation. Very sad, very very sad. Yeah, yeah,
very very sad. And you know the funny thing about
that is everybody they associated that with suicide. Their bodies
were found as if they jumped off the cliff near

(07:17):
the beach side. So they pretty much dismissed it at suicide,
that they're killing themselves because they're gay. And look at
it's still going on. My sister and I we assume
that nowadays because the population is so open and they're
so brave and bold and you know, accepting of it,

(07:37):
that it's still accepted now in our society. But look
at the statistics I just read, it's still there's still
a problem. And again that movie was based or documentary
was based in Sydney, Australia, and it's it's it's still
going on.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
So it definitely is. I saw on a movie well
TV show and it was like a.

Speaker 3 (08:01):
LGBT LGBTQ plus a couple and the one was considered
a transgender and the other one was just the male
and the male was falling for the transgender, and he
was basically telling.

Speaker 2 (08:16):
Them like, you know, where can we go at? Where
we going to go out? Like that?

Speaker 3 (08:21):
You know, they you know, somebody lost their life on
the railroad track, they were tied to a railroad track, or.

Speaker 2 (08:29):
Another gay couple were lynched somewhere.

Speaker 3 (08:32):
And that that was the early twenty twenties when that
when I saw that clip in that TV show and
they were just saying like, you know, they wanted to
be open and free, but where can we go?

Speaker 2 (08:44):
What can we do? Because you know, these.

Speaker 3 (08:47):
Types of things are going to happen, so our relationship
basically has to be in the dark, which is unfortunate
and sad.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
It's sad that they had to live that way and
how they tried. Even with the documentary that I'm discussing here,
it's even sad because here's a story in that So
there was an eyewitness that witnessed the brutality of one
of the gay individuals. I guess he was gonna do

(09:14):
like a casual encounter, like a hookup in this one
little place they have. So the eyewitness had the car
parked to the left. He saw another car parked to
the right. It was multiple people getting out of that
I want to say about five or six people getting
out of that car and they were getting wood planks
or batons. Then they went up to where I guess

(09:35):
where they know these casual hookups happened with the gay men.
They found the guy. They came out. The guy was running,
but they caught him. They started beating him, beating him viciously,
just pounding him away. Yeah, so the eyewitness saw that
and said, you know what, this is bad. He didn't

(09:55):
get out the car, but what he did he turned
his high means on start the car and drove. That
didn't scare them. They were still viciously attacking this this individual.
So he turned around. He was very smart what he did.
He had wrote the license plate number and then kept

(10:18):
that information and then he had called the the police
because you know, payphones back in the days were popular
compared to mobile phones that we have now. So come
to find out, this is crazy, y'all. That vehicle wasn't
unmarked police vehicle. Those were policemen that did it. Again,

(10:40):
they swept it under the rug. So you know, how
are they supposed to feel protected and served when the
people that are you know, doing that profession wasn't able
to do that at that time or participating in those
you know, brutal events. You know. So I'm a shock,
I said, what, But I'm glad they disclosed that. And

(11:02):
then they also disclosed something else too, because these were
like some of these people were too outside those policemen
that were unmarked or in playing clothes. There was also teenagers,
y'all young people, and they were so proud and just
proud of what they did and they didn't believe in
that homosexuality and things like that. So there was one guy,
and I love when he mentioned this. He said he

(11:25):
was a part of this, of the bashing and you know,
the teasing whatever. But then come to find out he
disclosed that he was a homosexual. You see, Yeah, he
disclosed he was a homosexual. He's participating in that. Maybe
that was his way of feeling bad about who he
was and wanted to fit in and be a follower.
But you know, I was glad he was being transparent

(11:47):
during that documentary. So we had those kind of instances
where some of the people that were doing the bashing,
in the physical violent attacks were really homosexualis themselves. So
I just want to share that and if you've got time,
watch that, watch that, watch that documentary it I think
I mentioned it before. It was released in twenty sixteen

(12:09):
and it's in Sydney, Australia.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
So and what is it called again? Was the document
called again?

Speaker 1 (12:15):
The documentary is called deep Water The Real Story by
Amanda Blue. So I wanted to share that with you all.
And again, it wasn't about suicide. Like one of the
family said in the documentary, why would Why would our
loved one kill hisself? He had a lot going on
for himself. We accepted his sexuality, I said, okay, speak it.

(12:37):
We accepted sexuality. We got to commit suicide for exactly,
he had.

Speaker 2 (12:41):
So much to look forward to.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
What is he going to do killing himself?

Speaker 3 (12:44):
And you know that that's what helps a lot when
your family and your friends know you and really know
what's going on with you, Because the situations like that happens,
you know, they they can come to it to the
surface and like, hey, that's not them exactly, that's.

Speaker 2 (12:58):
Not who you are. Ye.

Speaker 1 (13:01):
So I respect that I respect that. So, so I
wanted to share some personal stories. And these are based
off of my two former co workers. Y'all know, I
had a lot of jobs, so you'll hear a lot
of stories. Listen to this, y'all. So I worked with
this lady many many years ago. Many years ago, she

(13:23):
had disclosed to me that when her son had came out,
he came out, you know, gay. To her, she said,
when she heard the news, she cried. She cried, she cried,
and she explained, you want to know why I cried,
And I said, what happened why? There were three things
that was going to be used against him based on

(13:46):
who y'all, society, society. The three things she listed, Number one,
he's a male. Number two he's black. In number three,
he's a gay man. So when she said that, I

(14:06):
was like, wow, you know, just listen, she's venting to me. Listen.
She said, I'm taking that in and that was interesting
for me to hear that. So she also mentioned this
to me too. She said, when I disclosed it to
my family, you know what was going on with my son,
you know that he came out the closet. The family

(14:29):
said this to her, you didn't know. You didn't know
he was that way. We been knew he was that
way since he was little. And she said, no, I
didn't know. But the family wasn't surprised, so you know,
it wasn't like a shaker, like we already knew it.

Speaker 4 (14:45):
So I'm sure they accepted it made it more accepting
for him.

Speaker 1 (14:49):
Yes, and maybe to calm her down, like it's not
that serious. We knew, we already knew. So I said, okay,
then I had it. Here's another one. Then I had
another coworker sort of recently. So this is what she
told me. She told me that her son, he was
in high school at the time, he had came out

(15:10):
that he was gay. To her, she said, you know what,
I already knew. Just I already knew, you know, since
he was a child, I already knew. She said, there
were certain things I saw signed she didn't go into detail.
She said, mother knows, and she said, I already knew.
So those were just, you know, two different stories I
wanted to share with you all based on, you know,

(15:33):
children coming out to their parents and how two mothers
had different perceptions. But the first mother eventually accepted her
son of course she loves her son. She's very close
to him, and you know, you know, I'm glad that
ended out beautifully.

Speaker 2 (15:46):
Yeah, yeah, very beautifully because the kids need their parents support.

Speaker 1 (15:50):
Exactly, and it's hard, you know, coming out. I heard
it's hard.

Speaker 2 (15:56):
Yes, they through a lot. So they have that support
for the people that mean the most to you. Yes, yeah,
that's that's awesome.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
Yes, and it should make it a little easier, you know,
and no more feeling like you have to be in hiding,
like like the poem that we or the message of free.

Speaker 2 (16:12):
You're free, You're.

Speaker 1 (16:14):
Free exactly, You're free. So so I wanted to share
that with y'all and then also too, y'all, this is
many years ago when Pride Month hit back when I
was in college, think it was my senior year. My
classmates and I decided to hit the city up and
go out for Pride Month down at the lounge or club.

(16:36):
We had a very very good time, very good time.
So one of the classmates that initiated this, she was
a lesbian and she had a wife at the time.
I'm not sure if they're still together. She came with
us too, and let me tell y'all here, So when
I went to the to that lounge or club. I

(16:58):
noticed when I went, you know, women have never hit
on me or tried to approach me there when I
was there, which is surprising. Not that I was expecting that,
you know, to get that, but there was something that
was kind of like a little shock for me, like
a little maybe culture shocked a little bit, maybe I
would say the game in there. It was them.

Speaker 2 (17:20):
It was them.

Speaker 1 (17:21):
They weren't on me whatever. But we danced, and when
I mean we danced, we did some dancing. So y'all
know what freak dancing is. You know, am I going
to go in detail here? Y'all know what freak dancing is.
That's what they were doing with me. And I was shocked.
I was like, wait a minute. So that was my
first kind of encounter type of thing, like what what

(17:41):
I mean, y'all I'm being dramatic or you know, over
the top, let me know whatever. But you know, I
was surprised. I had a good time, and I was like,
I didn't know that they'd be dancing with women. I
think that was my that could be my bias that
I felt like, Okay, they're not gonna be you know,
on me or dancing with me. I'm just gonna have
a good time dance with them. But when we were
dancing freak dancing, and I'm talking about all colors of

(18:04):
the rainbow, we're talking about white men, black men, and
Hispanic men. And they were cute too. They were cute.
There were some cuties. So here's something funny. One of
the black guys I was dancing with, we didn't dance
like provocatively or we didn't do any type of free
freak dancing. I don't think. I don't know, but I
know we danced like you know, face to face either

(18:25):
our was it arms or whatever hends are touching each
other's shoulders or the hip area. So he asked me
before we started dancing, he said, who you here with?
Are you here with your man or your woman? Because
the month we're in, said, I'm here in my classmates.
We're celebrating having a good time. So that was fun.

(18:46):
That was fun. I have a like a big smile
on my face now thinking about that. That's one of
my memories I will never forget. Because they know how
to party. I don't care what nobody says. They know
how to party. Okay, I'm giving y'all that, and I
have fun with y'all, so also too. Let me say
something else. This is also like another story to add on.
So one of my other classmates that was there also,

(19:08):
there was this guy that was interested in her. He
was straight, but you know what he did, y'all. I
respect him for this. He came with us to the
Pride month being straight and all. So my nosey self,
I had my ears open. I don't know what I
was doing. I know, was I chilling sitting or was
I dancing or dancing by myself? But I overheard him

(19:29):
talking to one of the one of the gay individuals
and I think they asked him as sexual orientation or something,
and he's like, nah, man, I'm straight. You know I'm straight.
So I was like, okay, shout out to him. And
when he came there, he didn't come there with any
type of attitude. He was having fun, he was drinking,
he was dancing, and obviously he had a lady he
was interested in. So I don't know did he do

(19:50):
that to please her? But I just have to shout
him out on that because that's something big. Yeah, you
know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (19:55):
I've been to the clubs.

Speaker 3 (19:57):
I got a couple of friends and cousins and all
this like that, and it was just a good time.

Speaker 2 (20:02):
It's not all about that.

Speaker 3 (20:04):
And yeah, especially you know as a guy you go
in there, you're going to get questioned that, but like
you're in your sexuality or whatever, it doesn't matter. Everybody's
out to have a good time, have a drink or whatever. Music,
you know, conversation and all that. That's what it's all about,
you know, And it's it's always been a good time.
There's always been a good time, So they have no

(20:26):
objectson's will get that a good time. The times I've
been out with the Cruise and been around the LGBTQ
plus community, it's always been nothing but love and just
good time. And you know if somebody when somebody would
ask like are you gay or bisexual? Things like you're
like no, and they're like okay and along and still

(20:47):
had a good time. You remember the one time we
went out we met all those whole group of people
and we've traveled different bars and that night and we
had a good time with them and we didn't even
know them. And still today I want to say that
might have been like fifteen years ago and they still
keep in touch on social media and all that they
see my family and kids and all that stuff like that.

Speaker 2 (21:09):
And yeah, so it's a good time, man. It just
go have fun, to live and enjoy yourself.

Speaker 1 (21:16):
Man.

Speaker 3 (21:17):
It's like and it for me, it's like it's exciting
to see people feeling celebrated and just yeah, because a
lot of the people in the LGBTQ plus community has
been closeted there for so long and so now they
have these places or these areas or where they're just celebrated.

(21:38):
So when you go in, it's like welcomeing. It's, oh,
you don't belong here because you're not part of the community.
They're more happy that you're there, that you're celebrating them
around people like them, and that's what's all about.

Speaker 2 (21:51):
It all about freedom and a good time.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
A good time.

Speaker 2 (21:53):
Good time.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
Also to they accept me. They don't say, oh, you're
straight or heterosexual or hetero. You can't. We're all having
a good Yeah, like how some people exactly that they're
very accepting. Shout out to y'all. Y'all. Shout out to y'all.
Shout out to y'all. For real, there's no lives still there.

(22:19):
And here's something I feel. And if I'm wrong, ladies,
please let me know that are in this category. This
is what I feel. This is my opinion, and I'm
entitled to that. I feel that lesbian or gay women
have it a little easy with being accepted as gay

(22:43):
compared to the males. That's just my opinion. The reason
why I say that is because I feel that men
find lesbians attractive. They like to watch the action between
the women going on. What else. I even have male
friends that you know mentioned to me that they like
that shit. They said they like it, they think it's sexy.

(23:06):
And you know, some of my male friends mentioned they
had three before, but two women. You know what I'm saying.
I had some guys I dated in the past mentioned
to me that they've done the three sumes with the
two women before, So you know, men are into that stuff.

Speaker 3 (23:23):
I think it's only a problem when your girl gets
snatched up from you. That's the only time we may complain.
But other than that, I don't think. I don't I've
never thought it was a big deal at all. I
think the problem that guys may have with lesbian women
might be maybe the more masculine women, the ones you
have those and they may come off aggressive and so

(23:44):
it's kind of like you a whole step back, you know,
you're still a lady or whatever. But you know, that's
the only thing I could ever I can only really
think of about you know, that ever really being an
issue for them, as if a lesbian is being like
you know, the or just be more masculine or aggressive
and she's like talking to you.

Speaker 2 (24:03):
Like she's another man, you know.

Speaker 3 (24:06):
So I think that's what guys may find it like
hold up like and like you know, they don't like,
you know, like those type of females. But man, live
your life, you know, live your life, be free, enjoy
your life is short, you know, turn up.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
I don't.

Speaker 3 (24:19):
I personally don't think you know, it's a big deal
who you lay down with. It sucks that it's it's
always kind of buen this thing, you know. I personally
believe everybody should be able to live their truth. I
feel like everybody should be able to be free. I
don't care who you go to bed with. That's none
of my business. That doesn't put food on my table
or close on my back, So I could care less.

(24:40):
This is America, and I just feel like everybody should
just be able to live in their truth and enjoy
their life. Why they're here Tomorrow's I promise, have a
good time, do what you gotta do, and give zero fucks,
be free, live your life. Who gives, who cares? Who cares?

Speaker 1 (24:57):
Who cares? But people are caring who's in people's bedrooms
or who they had.

Speaker 2 (25:04):
They yet?

Speaker 1 (25:06):
Remember on Love and Hip Hop? Remember back in the days,
was Atlanta one of the love and hip hops they had? Man, Yes,
but do you remember me and Milan? Fine, So Milan
had to pretend him and his his lovers rappers together
or whatever. Yeah, but they were really lovers. They had

(25:28):
to go to strip clubs and things like that and pretend,
you know, I forgot the guy's name, Man of some
years ago. Milan had to portray that he was straight,
but that was really his lover, and then they were
going to strip clubs together and you know, hiding there. Yes,
they put a facade because of what people will perceive
of them or judge them. So I remember that, yeah,

(25:49):
and I was like, Okay, I'm glad they're highlighting that
too in the show because it happened.

Speaker 3 (25:53):
And it's crazy because I remember watching that season two
and they their concerned was.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
Them not being able.

Speaker 3 (26:01):
They had good music, but it wasn't going to sell
because people knowing that they were gay or whatever, that
nobody was going to buy the music.

Speaker 2 (26:10):
And now if you.

Speaker 3 (26:11):
Look now, you know, years later, now you see a
lot of artists that are from the lgbt Q plus
community and they're selling records and they're doing amazing jobs
and stuff.

Speaker 2 (26:22):
So it's just all about tim and you see as
time goes.

Speaker 3 (26:24):
On, you know, people get involved and progress in life
and be more accepted and all that.

Speaker 2 (26:29):
So it's it's it's great.

Speaker 3 (26:31):
But back then, I do remember that, and I remember
that being a conversation, like you know, they had to
keep that on the low because they they weren't I
think one was a producer and the other one might
have been a rapper. They both were in the music industry,
but they had to play their cards a certain way
because of them, you know, because of their jobs that
they had.

Speaker 1 (26:50):
But then also to remember, Milan's lover also had a woman,
So I'm going back in time. Yeah he had he
had a woman. Yeah, my gosh, her name. But so
then that is drama too. So yah, oh my gosh, y'all, this.

Speaker 2 (27:03):
Is going back in time.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
Yeah, but it's important kind of relates to this month
that we're in.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
So yeah, I.

Speaker 1 (27:13):
Remember seven seven mentioned this to me too.

Speaker 2 (27:16):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
He said that because we're talking about the threesomes. He
said that the women are getting turned out by having
threesomes with the other woman involved.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
Yeah, I remember, I've heard, I've heard stories.

Speaker 3 (27:32):
I see, you know, people putting their stuff, especially on TikTok.
I mean, TikTok is like the diary, Like everybody's putting
all their business out there and they're talking about everything,
and it is entertaining.

Speaker 2 (27:44):
It's entertaining.

Speaker 3 (27:45):
But I'm seeing a lot of these girls, man, they
are they're getting turned out by their homegirls and all
that other stuff like.

Speaker 2 (27:54):
That, and you know they're saying, you know, f the guys.
You know, you know they are.

Speaker 3 (28:00):
I guess, and I can't speak from a woman's perspective.
I'm not a woman, but I think what it is
is because women want to feel soft, they want.

Speaker 2 (28:09):
To feel.

Speaker 3 (28:12):
Just you know, beautiful, and they want to be treated
a certain way. And women know how they want to feel.
Each woman has this, you know, they have their thing,
but it's all kind of the same.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
And I think that's how they tap into each.

Speaker 3 (28:25):
Other, that their feminity and just you know, feeling soft
and beautiful and you know, and I think that's what
really gets them also too. And then it's kind of
like they might try once or twice with a friend
or something like that, and then they start liking it.

Speaker 2 (28:40):
And then you start.

Speaker 3 (28:41):
Hearing the stories and it's like and then it's it's
and then what I also know is becoming more common
where it's a straight relationship, right. And remember before just
not saying like it was a big thing, but just
hearing you know, people will say the guy would always
ask for the three and that's to bring another woman, yes,

(29:03):
But now you're starting to see it play out as
the women are asking, well can I bring a girl
into the bedroom. Now, you know, it's starting to come
become more of a thing because I think with women
they just they dealt with threesomes and all that. They
don't want it just to make it about the men.
They want to get something.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
Out of it.

Speaker 3 (29:24):
That's why I kind of picked up on this, say,
you know, he's getting he's getting two, you know, two
for one. Or whatever, what about me? You know what
I'm saying, because we're both just pleasing him. So I
feel like, now what the women bringing you know, another
person in. They're making it more about themselves too, because
they're trying to get get something.

Speaker 2 (29:42):
Out of that get they want to get their rocks
off too. And I ain't mad at it. I ain't
mad at it. I'm not I'm all for.

Speaker 1 (29:57):
I think you said something else to. I wrote this
down because he said he had some good pointers. He
told me.

Speaker 2 (30:07):
I know.

Speaker 1 (30:07):
Seven stated that he came across a video on social
media where straight women are dating or getting with buy
or gay men because there may be a shortage of men, right.

Speaker 2 (30:18):
Yeah, So I've seen a couple of videos, and.

Speaker 3 (30:22):
I seen well a lot of videos recently, and it's
a lot of women that are stating that, you know,
they have messed with gay guys or bisexual guys and
they're fine with that. Some of them are bisexual women themselves,
so they don't mind. That's why we still And then
there's also some that just kind of more into more
of a freaky freak air type of situation.

Speaker 2 (30:45):
Each your own.

Speaker 3 (30:46):
I'm not mad nobody, but I was thinking also to
myself too, where I saw this one, this one young lady,
and she was mentioned that, you know, she accepted the
guy that she was talking to you because he was
honest with her from the jumping and expressed to her that, yeah,
he's been with men before, but when whoever's he's with

(31:07):
at the time, that's who he's attracted to. So it
wasn't like, you know, just because I say I'm bisexual
doesn't mean that I'm in a relationship with you. So
I'm still gonna be you know, hooking up with guys
or whatever. But he made it clear to her like,
you know, I'm with you, I'm with you, and she
was accepting of it. But then I saw another video

(31:28):
where a woman was saying, well, there's just a shortage
on men and they're saying they're taking you know, the
bisexual guys, the gay guys, because they're.

Speaker 2 (31:37):
Offering everything that they want from.

Speaker 3 (31:40):
A man a man, and it's kind of like, okay, cool,
But then it's also kind of sad also too, because
I'm like, I question that too. Remember I said something
to you about I was like, you know, are they
laureners standards? Are are they just doing it just to
keep a man, or are they doing it just because Hey,
this is what I like, This what works for me.
I can care less what he does long t he's
with me, he's with me. Or I also see where

(32:03):
it's more of an open thing, where they have of
an open type of relationship, where it's kind of like
we together.

Speaker 2 (32:08):
You do something inside, I might do something outside. You know.

Speaker 3 (32:12):
It's it's becoming more common now and which I think
is cool because I feel I feel like people should
be able to express themselves sexually much as they want.

Speaker 2 (32:22):
My thing is be honest about it.

Speaker 3 (32:24):
Tell the truth in the beginning, and then you'll know
nobody won't get hurt. Nobody won't get hurt, and you'll
know what you're getting yourself into because we hear and
see the stories all the time.

Speaker 2 (32:33):
Well, I didn't know what I was dealing with. I
didn see this coming, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (32:37):
So and a lot of times people may not say
things because it's like they're enjoying the moment. It's good,
this is real good, and it's it's always good in
the beginning, we all know.

Speaker 2 (32:50):
And then when shit gets.

Speaker 3 (32:52):
Real, like you this, you that, or you was doing this,
you were doing that or whatever, you know what I'm saying.
So I personally feel like, you know, that's where it's
coming to, and women are kind of are being and
of course a man is going to be like you
mess with girls. Okay, I'm not tripping, but for women,
for the women, you know, a lot of women are

(33:12):
reserved in those airs. But like I said once again,
it's becoming more common where they're more accepting they if
the if the man is fulfilling them and giving them
what they need. I think they are looking past a
man being bisexual or having a gay history or you know,
and now it's focusing on a straight lifestyle whatever.

Speaker 2 (33:35):
It seems like it's becoming more acceptable because everybody wants love.

Speaker 3 (33:39):
Everybody wants love, and your person is your person, and
everybody got a past, you know.

Speaker 2 (33:45):
What I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (33:45):
So there's no different from somebody that has a criminal
record or there's something back. You're still going to love
them for who they are today, not who they were five, ten, fifteen,
twenty years ago, because we're.

Speaker 2 (33:58):
Not the same people we were yesterday. Every day is
a new day.

Speaker 3 (34:01):
I always look at it like that we change every
day as people, as we grow as we grow older. Yes,
so I personally feel like, you know, if that's what
works with them, then so big. If they happiness works
with them, I don't think nobody should turn them down
and look past them or judge them if they If
they're both happy in their situation, that's nobody else's business.

Speaker 2 (34:22):
That's just what I personally think on that.

Speaker 1 (34:24):
Preach on that preach on that. I also want to
mention too because a lot of times people like to
say the gay men are what is it, soft, feminine?
You know, they put all that stuff with them. But
there was a guy dated and he was like, y'all,
don't be underestimating those gay men. They got hands, they

(34:45):
could fight, they know how to throw down. So, you know,
I just want to throw that out there too, So
don't be underestimating them like they some soft punks all
that stuff.

Speaker 2 (34:53):
You know.

Speaker 1 (34:53):
Of course, you know what I'm saying, y'all saying that
about them, But like he told me, ah, they got
them hands, they will they will mess you up. You
know what I'm saying, They will mess you up. So
just how to shout that out right right quick? Right there?

Speaker 3 (35:06):
Definitely definitely at the end of the day, you know,
regardless of gay or straight or not, there's straight men.
They can't fight, they can't defend themselves. And so I
don't think because of who you sleep with you should
be underestimated how much of a man yea, or at
the end of the day you still okay exactly.

Speaker 1 (35:27):
Okay, okay, okay. Listen to this, y'all. And this is
going back. So I watched Insecure by uh a couple
of years ago. This relates to this topic. So her
best friend Molly was on a dating spree, I guess,

(35:47):
trying to find the next best man or boyfriend.

Speaker 2 (35:52):
Right.

Speaker 1 (35:52):
I'm gonna bring this up because ladies who are single
right now, like myself, that might be thinking about dating
now or in the future, or or currently dating, this
may pertain to us too. So Molly went on a
date with the guy from the show I should say,

(36:13):
and the guy told her he was honest and open
that he had a one time sexual encounter with the man.
When Molly heard that, Molly was no longer interested in
him because of what he mentioned to her about what
he had done, what he had did in the past.
So I'm just going to ask the ladies. I know,

(36:35):
we can't interact here, But has that happened to you before? Ladies?
You know, has that happened to you all? Have you
all been in that situation that Molly was in because
we are some of us maybe you know, on the
Dating Free or soon in the future, is that something

(36:55):
that we're going to be acting the men we go
on a date with, especially we're really feeling him. Has
he been with another man before? I've heard other women
say this personal like to not with Molly's situation on
the TV show. Personally too. I've heard stories like that too.
So would you I'm like gonna lie, I might ask
that question maybe the first second date, you know, I

(37:17):
might ask that question. But let's be really. Let me
let me tell y'all, look at how Molly dismissed that
man in the show. But she she was pretty much
disgusted by that, and like, you know, she can't go
on with that. It's hard, y'all, the days that we're
living in, the times that were living in is hard.

Speaker 2 (37:34):
So answer this question then? So would you.

Speaker 3 (37:39):
Would you just randomly ask just because that's the new
norm now, or would you ask because he may have
a certain trait that kind of stands out that makes
you be like, well, you.

Speaker 2 (37:50):
Know, I'm gonna get back. I'm gonna get down to.

Speaker 1 (37:52):
That later on the show. But I feel about men
who take care of themselves, and you know, so I
won't even say a man who takes care of himself
or certain things or participate in certain activities that might
be quote unquote considered womenly because I like when a
man does that. I'm not gonna lie with a metrosexual
type of male. So we have some men about that
that are about themselves, about keeping up with themselves. So

(38:12):
I can't judge based on characteristics or mannerisms or how
he moves, how he speaks, or what he says, because
you just don't know. That's me stereotyping. Yeah, yeah, that's
a good question, but maybe just asks, just to ask.

Speaker 2 (38:27):
And I don't know.

Speaker 1 (38:28):
Ladies again, are y'all going through that? Are y'all feeling like, damn,
there's no men out there? Damn we got to worry
about are men being on the quote unquote down low
or having experiences with men in the past, So out
of ladies, I don't know if y'all going through that.
I can't talk to y'all. Right now, we can't interact whatever.
But you know, these are questions I have, I want

(38:50):
to ask that I have that I want to act, y'all.
And then here's another thing I want to know too,
is like, should that be acts on the first date
or the second date or men obligated to tell a
woman if they were with another man before or even
had thoughts, because you can say, have you been, you
have any thoughts?

Speaker 2 (39:08):
You're thinking about it? You know?

Speaker 1 (39:10):
So, But are the men here's the question, are they
gonna be honest to tell the woman that, Like I
mentioned a while ago, they may feel like, no, I
ain't gonna tell her that because she may not want
me no more.

Speaker 2 (39:21):
You just took the words in my mouth. Okay. I'm
literally just sitting here thinking, like, you know.

Speaker 3 (39:27):
If if the male okay, if the male goes on
a date or you know, to meets up with a female,
obviously there's some interest in the woman that he does have,
because if he wanted to be with a man at
that moment, or go on a date with a man
at that moment, or sleep with a man, he could
so obviously there's some type of attractions, some some type

(39:49):
of feel that it's attracted him to that woman to
take her out or hook up with her, or even
sleep with her.

Speaker 2 (39:56):
Because if if, if a if a man, just if.

Speaker 3 (40:00):
A gay male or gay female, if they are strictly gay,
they would honestly probably be grossed out sleeping with the
opposite sex.

Speaker 2 (40:09):
They're not gonna.

Speaker 3 (40:10):
I don't think they would really go into it unless
it was a certain situation where they had no other choice,
they had to do it, you know what I mean.
So me just on the outside looking in, I would
look at it as well. Obviously he has some type
of attraction to a woman he's on a date with her,
if he does, if he did have a pass or
is bisexual or may had a gay a gay pass,

(40:32):
obviously I feel like he has because what does he
have to lose, Okay, by taking a woman out to
get a dub woman, If he didn't want to be
for a woman, why was he there?

Speaker 1 (40:42):
But then he might want us taking either to the
other side, that.

Speaker 2 (40:48):
Right, exactly.

Speaker 3 (40:50):
I get that part, But that's what I'm just saying,
So I don't personally think, you know, automatically, and then
then that kind of goes to the whole stereotype thing
of well, he might be too clean or too feminine,
or he might talk a certain way or something like that,
and then automatically you're thinking he's gay. He's gay, And
there's a high ass chance that this man has never

(41:11):
been with another man before, had any type of gay encounters. Ever,
that's just who he is, and you might have missed
out on something good because of how he carries himself.

Speaker 1 (41:22):
That's true, you know.

Speaker 3 (41:25):
And I think that's why a lot of people may
not express past experience before or what or what they
currently their current situation is, because they might see potential
in the person. They don't want the person to leave
them alone, will run off, you know, or or.

Speaker 2 (41:39):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (41:40):
They might see the future they looking for their person
or whatever at that current time. We don't know what's
gonna happen in the future, but that time, this is
who you're feeling at that moment. So if I say
the wrong thing, you might walk away.

Speaker 1 (41:51):
Yeah, just like that guy was, he was confident.

Speaker 2 (41:56):
I saw that episode. He was confident.

Speaker 3 (41:58):
It wasn't a big deal. It wasn't a big deal
to him. It wasn't his lifestyle was something that happened
one time in college and he.

Speaker 2 (42:05):
Was honest Yeah.

Speaker 3 (42:06):
Yeah, and she honestly, well, even though it's a TV show,
she missed out because it happens in her life.

Speaker 2 (42:13):
He was he probably would have been a good dude
for her.

Speaker 1 (42:16):
Yeah he could have been.

Speaker 2 (42:17):
Yeah, he could have been.

Speaker 1 (42:18):
And then that takes me back to when I had
a coworker, another coworker many years ago. Yeah, many years ago.
He had asked me a hypothetical question. I like these
kind of scenario questions. He said, asked her say, say
you met a man. You was kicking it. The vibes
are good. You know, he was everything that you needed
and wanted. He pleased you in every which way. He

(42:40):
was a good man, a good provider. Then you found
out he was with a man before he said what
did you.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
Do with him?

Speaker 1 (42:47):
Sorry? He said what would you do? And I was
just speechless, y'all. I was like, I was being a
little overit, dramatic. I'm a little animated. I was like,
you know, my hand was over my mouth, like I
don't know, I don't know. He was like, you know,
he hit me with that question. I was like, I
don't know. You know, because it's everything that you'd want

(43:10):
in a man, you know.

Speaker 2 (43:12):
And I think that kind of goes back to the
whole situation.

Speaker 3 (43:15):
If if he is the if he fits everything on
your check list and he just got that pass. That's
why I said, I think a lot of women are
going for that because it's like if that that's the past,
Like he's presenting everything that I need and want and
desire right now from a man I could care less.

Speaker 2 (43:32):
And that's why I think a.

Speaker 3 (43:33):
Lot of women are. They are kind of jumping that bandwagon.
I'm sure it played it play.

Speaker 2 (43:38):
In her mind.

Speaker 3 (43:38):
It playing a male in a man's mind also too,
I'm a male. So if my girlfriend said that she's
had encounters with females or something like that or whatever
in the past or whatever.

Speaker 2 (43:48):
It might play on you.

Speaker 3 (43:49):
Every once in a while, you might see another female,
she might look at her, or they get each other,
or to go out with girlfriends.

Speaker 2 (43:54):
It might play like, I wonder what they're doing. They
got drunk or something like that, they went out. They
might then you know, doing something. Ever, I think that
crosses anybody's mind. We're human beings. But at the end
of the day, you can't help who you attract.

Speaker 3 (44:05):
You can't help who you love. You just can't and
I feel like people are missing out on true love
because they're getting caught up on stigmas and names and
labels and all of that, and people's passes and the
past doesn't count today anymore.

Speaker 2 (44:22):
You know, you're moving forward.

Speaker 3 (44:24):
So I'm just speaking from a male stamp from my perspective.
I can't speak for every male because every male is
not going to feel the way I feel.

Speaker 2 (44:32):
And everybody's entitled to their own opinion.

Speaker 3 (44:34):
But I personally just feel like, hey, be honest, whatever
they don't, they don't, there's somebody.

Speaker 4 (44:40):
Out there for you, because once again, I personally feel
like if you don't share that part of yourself who
you are, or your past or anything like that, you're
holding back and you're not able to you're not being yourself,
You're not being your authentic self.

Speaker 3 (44:56):
Because the thing is you want to let the person
the person that you who you fall in love with,
for getting to know who you are, where you come from,
what you have experience and all that, because once again,
that makes who you are today and where you are
at today. Yes, but some people are closed minded and
some people are open minded, okay, and.

Speaker 1 (45:15):
Some people might just be setting their ways.

Speaker 2 (45:19):
Wrong with that.

Speaker 3 (45:20):
Yeah, it's your preferences, whatever you like, whatever works for you.
But what I was saying was it just seems like
it's becoming more common and whatever. And hey, love is love, man,
That's just where I'm at.

Speaker 2 (45:34):
You like who you like, you sleep, who you sleep with.
I'm sticking to that. I'm ten toes down on that.

Speaker 3 (45:39):
I'm all about love, I'm all about good relationships, I'm
about good sex, all of that.

Speaker 2 (45:46):
So if whatever works for you.

Speaker 3 (45:48):
To individuals man, woman, woman, woman, man, man, whatever, whatever
your labels are, I don't care if it works for you.

Speaker 1 (45:56):
Do your thing, do your thing, do your thing. Don't
be scared. Let me say this too. This is important.
I'm glad I'm bringing this up. So a lot of
people are on dating apps now, whether you're on you know,
looking for the same sex or things like that. This
is important and I just want to let people know

(46:18):
this is what I think. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry.
If I offend anybody, I'm sorry. But this is what
I feel and what I think. I think it's important
for people to let other people know their sexual orientation
on those on those sites also too, this is for
a trans again, Please don't don't shoot the messenger. This

(46:41):
is my opinion. Please, when you're on those dating apps
or even on the first date, I would say, don't
even maybe on the phone. Don't ever do a personal
encounter or in person with the individual yet on a date,
but on the dating apps or on the phone or
any way you message, communicate through text, email, facetiming, whatever,

(47:02):
social media. I think whether it be the trans women
that transmen, because some of the the trans I think
they're called transit trans they're yeah, they're looking more like
men now too. It's it's the trans women are looking amazing.
So it's hard and you know, you could be fool

(47:23):
And I just want to say, the reason why I'm
saying this is just for safety reasons, is all. I
am saying that a lot of the crimes, the violence
is because the men didn't know and they feel they've
been bamboozled or been played with in a way. Just
that's just my thing. I just want you all to
be safe out there, and I don't want you to

(47:44):
get hurt.

Speaker 3 (47:45):
I had I had a cousin that that is trans,
and she would put on her dating on top of
her like her bio like friends, you know, that's let
it know because they see it, you know what I'm saying.
So you see that right there in the bio with
my name or who I am, and that's right there,

(48:08):
and I think that's smart.

Speaker 2 (48:09):
I think that is smart.

Speaker 1 (48:10):
Smart.

Speaker 2 (48:12):
You're playing it safe and it's smart.

Speaker 1 (48:13):
You have please please, And it's also you want to
be honest to the person because some people may be
like I said, you may not know, they may be
willing to try that, they may be into that, or
they might secretly be into that. And then just be
just be open for rejection too. That doesn't mean you're
a bad person. You're not a sick person. You're not
attractive or appealing. So that might not be some people's
cup of tea, but then you never know it could be.

Speaker 3 (48:34):
And remember this, guys, one thing my mom always told me,
rejection if God's protection.

Speaker 2 (48:42):
So if that person rejects who you are.

Speaker 3 (48:45):
And this is just not for the lb G t
Q family, this is for everybody. If a person doesn't
reject you, that means that person, If that person rejects you,
that person wasn't for you. That's fine, that's fine. Play
it safe. You don't waste their time. You don't want
nobody wasting your time. You don't want to not disclose

(49:05):
who you are to a person, and then y'all really
start liking each other, and then you have.

Speaker 2 (49:10):
To unleash who you really are and then end everything.

Speaker 3 (49:14):
Y'all just built up and got to know each other
and was vibing, getting to like each other, playing, you know,
making future plans of dating, getting you know, spend.

Speaker 2 (49:22):
Time together to like lay that stuff out there.

Speaker 3 (49:24):
I know a lot of people are scared, you know,
because they don't want to be rejected. Nobody wants to
be rejected.

Speaker 1 (49:29):
That's human.

Speaker 3 (49:31):
If it's meant to be, it would be you know
what I'm saying. And if you're and if you're on
those sites and you're just looking into like hookups and
stuff like that, you know, you know this hookups not
officially dated, but like more.

Speaker 2 (49:42):
Of a hook up.

Speaker 1 (49:44):
Just be honest, be honest.

Speaker 2 (49:47):
That would save so many lives.

Speaker 3 (49:50):
It will save so many lives because you know, not
everyone is accepting, not everyone got their head on straight,
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (49:58):
So you you have to play it safe.

Speaker 3 (50:00):
You have to be smart, and you have to be safe,
protect yourself at all times.

Speaker 1 (50:03):
All times. I believe that this will stop some of
the criminal activities that are going to amongst the community. Besides,
you know, you're already being abashed and all that, you know,
just for being who you are. But just that alone
will help some of that, alleviate some of that. And
then I also want to say something else too. Please
be careful withouting out the quote unquote straight men that

(50:27):
gets very violent as well. Yeah, please, because it's getting
I'm hearing stories, I've known people personally. It is bad, y'all,
and that can hurt y'all as well, and you don't
want that. Men do not want to be put out there,
and especially if they're in the closet with it or
on the download. Be careful outing these men. I just

(50:52):
all I have to say, because it can become I.

Speaker 3 (50:54):
Will elaborate and what I will say just from a perspective,
be honest and let the person know what you're looking for.

Speaker 2 (51:05):
You know what I'm saying. You don't go on a
dating site or a hookup.

Speaker 3 (51:09):
Site and then a person's basically telling you like, oh,
I may not never done this before, or you know
I'm not I'm not out or anything like that, because
what that's going to do is when you go expose
that person, that's not going to make them come out,
and that's not going to make them be with you.

Speaker 2 (51:25):
You know what I'm saying. Anything they can hurt. They
might try to turn and hurt you, your loved ones,
or even hurt them.

Speaker 3 (51:33):
And you know there's innocent people that can lose the
life over a simple conversation. So I would just say, hey,
if a person just say, hey, you know, I just
want to do the night thing or whatever, and we
just hook up and that's that. If you know that,
if that's what works for you, then you go ahead
and do that. But if you know you're a person

(51:56):
that is looking for a relationship wanting to be with
somebody every day, and they're not comfortable with that lifestyle,
then you.

Speaker 2 (52:03):
Shouldn't even waste your time entertaining that.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (52:07):
You know what I'm saying, because I'm sure a lot
of those guys are going to be honest, they're saying, hey,
this is not who I am. You know, I don't
I don't live my everyday life like this. This is
just something that I do. You know, it's a pleasure thing,
and I do certain things at a certain time and whatever whatever,
But I don't live my everyday life like this. You
know what I'm saying, And unfortunately a lot of people

(52:30):
aren't honest. And then with sex involved, you know when
sex is good, you know it starts to get to
your head. No anybody. A lot of people will say, oh, no,
sex is just sex. But seriously, when you have good
sex with somebody and you two are what's it called,
y'all are connecting and there's chemistry and all that, it

(52:53):
changed the whole dynamic of the sex. It takes you
to a whole nother level. And then which that's when
feelings get involved. That's love gets involved. So I say
that to say this. That's why I say, say what
you want in the beginning, lay all your cards out there,
so you won't get your time wasted, you won't get
your feelings, and then you'll be able to move and say, hey,

(53:14):
this wasn't this wasn't this wasn't going to work.

Speaker 2 (53:17):
As simple as that.

Speaker 1 (53:18):
I agree.

Speaker 2 (53:18):
I feel like people move like that. So many people
will still be here.

Speaker 1 (53:21):
So many thank you.

Speaker 3 (53:25):
Husion and craziness, and people just say what they mean
and mean what they say, speak.

Speaker 2 (53:31):
Up and that's that. Mm hmmmmmm, that's that's it.

Speaker 1 (53:34):
Write that part. So there's this new thing now where
gay men are feeling like their female friends are being
mean to them, or they feel like they're accessories like
little purses on you know, on their shoulders or whatever,
their arms or whatever. And I think trands are feeling
that way too. Trans trans woman, I think they're feeling

(53:54):
that way too. And let me see with that, let
me see what I have to say about that, Like
they feel like, oh, this is my gay friend or
my trans friend, like you know that kind of thing,
like this, you know that kind of thing. And I
don't know if this is true or not, but I
heard it it could be because of jealousy that straight

(54:18):
women are feeling jealous because the gay men or the
trands are getting attention and they're not. But I don't
know how I feel about that because and they're also
picking up good looking men too. But see, I've hung
out with gays and trands and I never once had
to feel jealous. I'm keeping it real. I don't know

(54:38):
of the other ladies too. I never once had to
feel jealous of them if they were to pull guys
or you know, what have you, because I knew who
I'm hanging out with, you know, and that's what to
be expected. We're looking at the same thing pretty much,
you know what I'm saying. I'm also very confident in
the woman I am, and I feel good about myself
that I wouldn't have to be jealous or have to
knock them down or tear them down or expose them

(54:58):
or like feel like m why then and why not
me never had to feel that way. I'm confident with
in myself as a woman. Yeah, why would I have
to do that or or out them or share their
share their secret or whatever. You know, you don't do that.
And then there's also I came across a video clip.

(55:20):
It was small, it was on a social media feed.
I think it might have been TikTok. I think I
came across it, and it was seeing how straight men
prefer to hang out with gay men now and have
them as friends.

Speaker 2 (55:34):
You know.

Speaker 3 (55:34):
It's it's funny you say that, I mean to cut
you off aster And something I had seen before was
that because when the straight homies got the gay homies
or whatever, that gives them more access to the girls.

Speaker 1 (55:49):
Also, Wow, I didn't think about that.

Speaker 3 (55:52):
Yeah, okay, not saying that all the friendships like that,
because like I said, I have gay friends too. I
got my gay homies whatever of my well, me and
my cousin used to be close and she's trains and
we all, you know what I mean. So I've been
around it, I've seen it and I heard it all.
But I will say that that's another thing too, is like, oh,

(56:13):
he know all the girls. He hanging around all the girls,
so that gives them more access to that to the females,
and then not saying that their friendship is not genuine
but it does help.

Speaker 2 (56:23):
It's like, oh, you know all the girls. You know
what I'm saying, you know, shit like that.

Speaker 3 (56:27):
But I think that kind of goes on both ends
when you say, you know, maybe the gay guys might
be accessories to the female friends or something like that.
But then you have I've seen stories in her stories
of where guys have grew up as best friends since
little kids, played for sports, went to school together, everything,

(56:48):
and one comes out and it's like, okay, brothers up together,
I don't care, you know what I mean, And those
friendships work and everybody's together, everybody's happy, and you know,
and it seems like now it's become because in the
past it was like, well, I can't fuck with you
like that, I'm that way, they don't think I'm this way.
But now, because once again the times have changed, it's

(57:10):
like everybody can be at the same table and be
celebrated and be happy in their truth.

Speaker 2 (57:15):
You know what I'm saying, Well, I.

Speaker 1 (57:17):
Was going to ask you this because tell me what
you think about this. So I think I heard this
before that they're afraid if they were to hang out
with or have hang out with a gay guy or
have a gay friend, they're afraid that the friend might
I guess, try to turn them out or come on
to them. Is that true? Like is that or is
that like I never experienced that.

Speaker 2 (57:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (57:35):
So it's like, because if they your friend or they
your brother, let's say, y'all grew up. I guess you'll
best friends, they know what you like or whatever, They're
not going to cross the line unless you probably gave
them that indication that maybe I would try it or
we you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (57:52):
Yeah, So I really can't. I really can't say.

Speaker 1 (57:55):
That because are you not comfortable or are you vulnerable?
Like could he really gets you? You know what I'm saying,
I'm trying to question that too. You feel that way?
Do you think that you might be interested or stepping
outside that box? Is that your thing that you may
have but you don't want to admit? Hella, hella, you
know exactly exactly. And I'm gonna say this too, because

(58:19):
I'm getting tired of this. Let's stop stereotyping what a
straight man looks or acts like. We mentioned that earlier,
We mentioned that earlier, We mentioned that earlier. Let's stop.
Let's stop doing it, because I think that it's it's
wrong and it's rude.

Speaker 2 (58:40):
Yeah, I mean, I've had I'm not I can't even lie.
Probably my whole life, I've been called yes, oh he's gay,
or he's this, he's that, and da da da da da.

Speaker 3 (58:52):
And you know what, I laughed at this ship all
my life because I knew exactly who I was.

Speaker 2 (58:58):
I grew up around women my whole life.

Speaker 3 (59:00):
I had nothing but female friends, which I will say
as I got older and attracted more male friends also too,
because once again it was like.

Speaker 2 (59:09):
He hang around all the girls.

Speaker 3 (59:11):
But see they also they they they might have thought
something maybe because how I talk or because I'm always
around the girl, because that's like one of my insecurities.
My voice is not whatever, that's fine, and my girls,
she was like, you know, I love your voice. I
love the way and you also did. And I said,
you know, that was one of my insecurities. But I
was never insecure about my sexuality, nothing like that.

Speaker 2 (59:36):
I knew who I was.

Speaker 3 (59:37):
I was confident my sexuality, and some of the girls
that I was hanging out with I was trying to
get with, you know what I mean. So it was like,
it is what it is. And people would to have differentceptions.
But if you know who you are, you don't let
that shit kill you. Man, you don't let this shit
bother you. The only time's going to bother you when
it's true. And I moved with grace. But then, like

(59:58):
I said, as I got old, I did attract more
homies and stuff like that, and definitely, you know, got
closer with the fuls. But because I had a lot
of female cousins growing up, a lot of female friends
in the neighborhood, that's just all I grew up.

Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
Around around and you will get that.

Speaker 3 (01:00:13):
And then, like I said, I had gay cousins I had,
you know, gay friends and shit like that. I didn't
give a fuck. I don't care, and I still don't care.
That's I'm thirty seven years old. I don't care and
will never care. My friends, my family, their minds, what
they do in their bedroom, that's their business. That doesn't
That doesn't defend who I mean, That doesn't define define

(01:00:33):
who I am as a man.

Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
You know what I'm saying. And so, you know, people
got this, They got to stop that.

Speaker 3 (01:00:39):
I'm a man that likes nice things. I like cleanse
I like cleansingness. I like to keep myself up, you know.
I love that, you know, manicure, peedicare every once in
a while, not nothing like every weekend. But well, I'm
I like to keep myself well. I feel like well groomed.
I feel like women appreciate that. They they try that.

(01:01:01):
And then you do have some women that might just
be narrow minded or biased or whatever you want to
call it, and you know, or that's feminine or his
sauce and this and that, and that's not the case.

Speaker 2 (01:01:12):
That's really not the case.

Speaker 3 (01:01:13):
Meant, some men just like to keep theirself up and
be clean and be fresh and always look good. And
there's nothing wrong with that. I'm a man, that's all
about that. I'm going to keep myself up. I'm always
gonna feel good, look good. I don't care what's going on,
and I don't care what anybody thinks about it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:28):
That's right. I know that's right. That's right, because I'm
gonna go off with what he just said. Because the
coworker I mentioned earlier in the episode, the first lady,
she we worked again together a few years later. So
we work with this guy, another one of our coworkers.

(01:01:48):
So what she did she, I would say, she probably
stereotyped him and thought that he was gay because the
way he had acted or talked. And then he said
I'm straight, and she's like, oh, because I was gonna
try to get you with my son, you know, so
she's you know it was, but so she you know,

(01:02:09):
so I wonder how do he feel when she said
that to him? You know, you know, I got a
sum for you whatever, you know, And he said, no,
I'm straight, So you know, I don't know how to
you know, that make him probably feel some kind.

Speaker 2 (01:02:22):
Of way way. But then, like I said, if you
know who he is, he probably laughed. That ship right off,
like really yeah, Like because height he got might got
a whole bunch of women lined up, you know what
I mean. So he probably looking at like, oh, well
you know what I mean. Yes, some people may take
the heart, some people don't.

Speaker 1 (01:02:39):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:02:40):
I was like, oh shoot.

Speaker 1 (01:02:41):
I was like, because you know, like I said, y'all
be I'll be ear hustled, I'll be listened to my ear.

Speaker 2 (01:02:45):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (01:02:46):
I will say this though, I think as a child,
it does affect you a little bit, because you know
it does cause like bullying and stuffing people, people don't think.
Kids listen and hear stuff, and especially when you hear
adults say stuff like that, you're like, whoa, that's not
who I am. But as you get older and you're
fully aware of who you are and who you are

(01:03:07):
and all of that in life, that shit don't phade you.

Speaker 2 (01:03:10):
You can laugh that shit off. You laugh that shit.

Speaker 1 (01:03:12):
Off because you're, like you said, you become comfortable in
your skin.

Speaker 2 (01:03:15):
You know who you are. You know who you are.
Once you know who you are.

Speaker 3 (01:03:18):
If you have a question mark of who you are,
then it's going to bother you. Or when you are
a child, because it's like if you speak up, you
might get hit, especially if you say it to an
adult like yo.

Speaker 2 (01:03:30):
You know, defend yourself you might get in trouble.

Speaker 3 (01:03:32):
Or if you defend yourself around a certain crowd, you
might can get into a fight or get bullied or
something like that. So it's kind of like you gotta
walk with your head down and not say nothing, just
kind of take it. But once you in a place
of your own and knowing yourself, that shit don't fade you,
not one bit.

Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
Yeah, not one bid, not even yes. I love it.

Speaker 1 (01:03:53):
I love it. I just want to just reiterate to
y'all please stay safe out there, practice practice safe sex,
use prep, and get tested regularly. I don't care you know,
hetero by trans, gay, Just just just know your status

(01:04:14):
and be safe out there. It's a cruel world that
we're living in, and just know your status. I'm gonna
give an example. This was years ago when I went
to the health department. I was a young lady and
they were asking me like a set of questionnaires. So
the lady had asked, do you know if your partner
was ever with a man before? Then I laughed and

(01:04:34):
said no. Now I'm thinking to myself why she asks
me these kind of questions, but then I come to
find out years later what's been going on, what closeted
in the DL and things like that. I'm not here
to bash that or anything because most men do feel
comfortable coming out and they have to live that kind
of lifestyle and I understand, but but I do see
why that was acted and it's important, So I'm just

(01:04:57):
gonna say stay safe. I also want to shout out
the lgbt Q plus community for always rallying and sticking
up for one another. Y'all have each other's back. Like
I don't know what, y'all don't be playing. When they
mess with one, they mess with all. And I have
to give y'all that compared to other people, other groups,
y'all be having each other's back. Nobody can deny that.

(01:05:21):
I love to see it, and I.

Speaker 3 (01:05:22):
Mean, honestly, y'all are some of the strongest people I've
met because the eyes have always kind of been against y'all,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:05:30):
So it's not even y'all. Just rally up for y'all,
y'all rally for everybody.

Speaker 3 (01:05:33):
I feel like the people of the l the l
g b t Q plus community They rally for everybody,
just not their their they're people. They support everybody because
they want.

Speaker 2 (01:05:48):
The same equals. Yes, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (01:05:50):
So there are some of the strongest people are marder strength.
I love their company. I wish them all well. I
have a good time with them. One of them all
be safe and live their best life and be free,
feel be accepted and loved and just being in their truth.

Speaker 1 (01:06:07):
And being the truth. And I want to also mention
on to add on twin you said this is for
the gay men out there, because I think a lot
of times y'all don't get recognized or you know, you know,
put up there on a higher pedestal than y'all should.
I'm gonna get y'all some shout outs. Y'all are good
and talented. Number one, y'all know how to do the
hair and the makeup. While you think people go to
y'all to get those services and celebrities, they be getting

(01:06:28):
services from y'all because y'all got it going on with that,
the dance routines not saying all men who can dance
good are gay, but the ones usually you know, they're
the gay ones are usually good with the dance routines.
The fashion is good. Y'all are always top notch, always
creating good designer type stuff or good looks for us.

Speaker 2 (01:06:46):
Thank you for that.

Speaker 1 (01:06:47):
And y'all be also setting trends in terminology because guess
what we be copying y'all as women be copying and
other races are copying y'all. So y'all are the trend
setters on things with y'all words and everything. Here's some
side notes I wanted to add before we start wrapping up.
One thing, I'm tired of herring men say no, homo.

(01:07:08):
I'm getting sick of that. Do you have to always
put that in?

Speaker 2 (01:07:11):
There? Was it? What's the other one? Diddy got the.

Speaker 1 (01:07:16):
I didn't know that. Yeah, I'm oh, please, Paul, like
like please, like when y'all say that, do y'all feel
like a man? Why gay man? If I say no homo?
I want to say something too, because I used to
watch Howard Stern back in the days, back in the
nineties and early two thousands, and when I watched him

(01:07:38):
on his show, he had complimented another man and called
another man handsome before on the show. But when he
said that, I didn't say ill but you know, why
did Stern say that ill? Is he gay? Actually? I
thought that was brave of him to do and to
do that, I don't know, there's a new.

Speaker 2 (01:07:54):
You hear the guys. I said, oh, bro, you look good. Yeah,
whatever you smoked, Bro, you look good or whatever. You know,
you cleaned up nice with that man. You set me
secure in who you are.

Speaker 1 (01:08:09):
If another man is handsome, if you're another man saying that,
that doesn't mean you're gay. So stop stop this whole notion,
with this whole labeling or whatever. Just that has to stop.
And another thing, that's the last thing to say about this.
I'm also getting tired of heterosexual men needing to point
out the gay men. Please stop doing that. What do
you have to prove by doing that? Some point out

(01:08:30):
these gay men you know, or making fun of it
or whatever kind of move in. So what what is
that doing to you? That's all I gotta say. That's
all I gotta say. We're about to wrap up now,
we're gonna keep you any much longer.

Speaker 3 (01:08:46):
Yeah, So I wanted to thank everybody for tuning in
today and listening to us, getting with us, and you
can check out our social media as guys, we got Facebook, Instagram,
TikTok that is so Futall.

Speaker 2 (01:09:00):
That's spelled s o f a uh t a w K.
And then we also have our.

Speaker 3 (01:09:07):
Own website now and that's Sofa talk dot com. Feel
free to leave us a message, any concerns, anything that,
anythings that you guys want to talk about in the future,
which you like, what you may not didn't like. We
do also have the Dear Sofa Talk letter and that's

(01:09:28):
at sofa Talk at gmail dot com, and you guys
can put your you know, your inputs and you know
whatever topics you may want to talk about, whether you
may be going through advice or anything help you feel free.
But we think all of you guys are tuning in
and catching up with us.

Speaker 1 (01:09:45):
Yes, thank you again. Feel free to listen to our
next episode, Men's Health Matters available now. Please subscribe, like, follow, share, comment,
or leave a review. Wheber you're listening. Remember the talk
will have you talking on the sofa. Goodbye until next time.