January 1, 2025 • 55 mins
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In this podcast [episode 22] Emily and I are diving into whether or not your focus is draining your energy? What we focus on, we feed with our energy and create more of the same. Are you focusing on things that nourish your soul, that honor your uniqueness and ultimately energizes you toward your dreams and goals?
We'll cover the 7 most common things that your focus is draining your energy. If you're resonating with any of these energetic draining focus points, don't worry we've all been there and sometimes still go there! Emily and I will be offering plenty of tips on how to flip the script and nourish your focus energy instead.
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Share your thoughts and experiences with how you maintain your focus energy on higher vibes with us or ask a question at vibin@soulvibeinsights.com
Loving Light,
Matty and Emily
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Matty (00:00):
Hey there, amazing souls, and welcome to today's show.
Emily (00:03):
Happy New Year!
Matty (00:05):
Happy, happy, happy New Year!
It's 2025 as of today.
Emily (00:10):
Yeah, that is just insane for me to think about.
It seems like so futuristic,back in like the 80s and
90s, thinking about 2025.
Just seems so crazy.
Matty (00:23):
I don't think I was thinking that far ahead.
Emily (00:27):
When Back to the Future came out you were?
I definitely was.
Matty (00:31):
Oh, okay, absolutely.
Emily (00:33):
I'm like, what?
2000?
Oh my gosh!
Matty (00:37):
We're still waiting on a few of those things
from that movie, aren't we?
Emily (00:40):
I don't know, I don't remember the movie.
Matty (00:41):
Technologies and things.
Emily (00:43):
Well, yeah, the flying cars.
Matty (00:45):
And hoverboards.
Emily (00:46):
I mean, they have things that they call
hoverboards, but they'renot as cool as in the movie.
Matty (00:51):
Yeah, that's true.
Emily (00:53):
Alright, so we're talking about focus energy, and here we
are already not staying focused.
Matty (00:58):
That was a perfect little example for everybody.
We're going to dive intoways that you might be
wasting your focus energy.
And I'm pretty much, thethings we're gonna cover, I've
been there on most of theseand one of them still gets
me occasionally, for sure.
We all have this amazingcapacity to handle a lot
(01:21):
and to think about a lot andfocus on a lot of things.
But, we're not always nourishingourselves with what we focus on.
And we're giving away our energyand we're losing our energy.
And sometimes, you know, justhaving a little distraction
is perfectly fine andhealthy and good for us.
Emily (01:40):
And necessary.
Matty (01:41):
Yes, absolutely.
And it's necessary.
Emily (01:44):
But if you're constantly draining your energy because
your focus is on, well,we have a list for you.
And it always seems likewe come up with seven
things in our list.
So it's like, as we're typingthings out, Oh, seven again,
must be our magic number.
So shall we get started?
Yeah, do we have a lifeupdate really quickly?
(02:06):
We are still chillin inFort Collins with our
favorite puppy, Aspen.
We had a pretty coolChristmas time this year.
Matty (02:16):
The best time in the last several years.
I mean, we've been travelingfor three and a half years
now, so we haven't had ahome base for Christmas.
We busted out a treeand decorations.
The homeowner showed us wherethings were and was just
like, Go ham, have fun, dowhatever you want with it.
So we got tree and lightsand all sorts of stuff up.
(02:36):
Emily was reallygood about that.
It was super cool fun.
Emily (02:39):
So we also met those reindeer, got
to meet two reindeer.
Holly and Savannah.
They were super cute.
It was just really coolbeing in their presence.
And just they werethe chillest reindeer.
And it was really coolbecause the the man who was
the reindeer's owners talkedabout how he just walked out
into his field because hesays he has 55 acres where he
(03:03):
raises reindeer and zebras.
Was there another animal?
Matty (03:06):
And they have two pet camels.
Emily (03:08):
Oh, yeah camels.
Matty (03:09):
We don't raise them.
We just have two for pets.
Emily (03:12):
But you could tell that these reindeer were very loved,
but he said that they justrun around on their property.
And he ran out and he said sowho wants to go with me today
and Holly and Savannah thesetwo reindeer come running
over to him and they'rethe ones that were there.
So, it was pretty cool.
It was really cool.
(03:32):
They just had like themost, like, serene presence.
Matty (03:36):
It was like they knew how special and awesome they were.
They just were coolwith being themselves.
They were cool with beinggawked at and looked at by
everybody that was around.
And there's all that littlekid energy, you know, freaking
out for them and stuff.
And then us and a few otherjust adults without kids around
that are just like, askingquestions of this guy, you
(03:56):
know, who was there caretakerand just totally enjoying it.
But they had this, I mean,serene, majestic kind
of quality about them.
It was, it was cool.
Emily (04:07):
And the man's daughter, she just sat
in there with Savannah.
She said that she bottlefed this reindeer since it
was a week old and they werelike the best of friends.
Like she just sat thereand this reindeer just like
basically laid on her shoulderfor the majority of time.
It was so sweet.
Matty (04:27):
Yeah, that's right, she leaned up she leaned up against
Savannah and then Savannah puther chin like on her shoulder.
Emily (04:32):
Yeah Okay So shall we get started?
Matty (04:37):
Let's jump in to ways you might be
wasting your focus energy.
Emily (04:42):
Should I start with the first one?
Matty (04:43):
Yeah, let her rip, babe.
Emily (04:45):
All right, so the very first one is being overly
focused and concentratingon what's wrong with me?
Like constantly trying tofind something wrong with
you as an excuse for notaccomplishing your goals or
not being able to move forwardor staying in stuckness.
(05:07):
I feel like what's wrong withme, that's something I feel
like we've all asked ourselves.
I mean, this is a verycrazy world we live in and
the truth is, is the worldis just kind of fucked up.
But that is completelyseparate from anything
being wrong with you.
So I can imagine that there'snothing wrong with you.
(05:28):
That you may be a little bitmore sensitive than others.
You may have differentviews on what is right,
but I think that's part ofwhat makes us very human.
And I see this a lot withpeople that are very attached
to their thoughts and emotions.
If you overly attach to yourthoughts, I mean, you're just
(05:48):
gonna, everyone has streams ofthoughts just coming through
their mind at all time.
But if you identify and attachto those thoughts, then chances
are you're going to feel lessthan good about yourself because
we all have fucked up thoughts.
I mean, I think that'sjust part of being human.
(06:09):
But I'm, but I also think withtechniques such as meditation
and mindfulness, I thinkwith those techniques, you
can help kind of keep likebasically keep your thoughts
from overrunning, like takingover the show, essentially.
Matty (06:26):
I definitely think the key is not to attach, to be
the observer of your thoughtsand of your emotions, but
don't attach your identity towhatever happens to be spewing
from your mind in that moment.
That's just what'scoming out of your mind.
That's just yourthoughts, it's not you.
And the same goes when yourthoughts are high vibes.
(06:49):
That's not you,those are your thoughts.
But the more you observeand when you're having
high vibe thoughts, patyourself on the back.
That's right, you'rein a good space.
And if you're not,ask those questions.
We've talked about this inpretty much every podcast we do.
Bring awareness to yourself.
(07:11):
Dig in a little bit.
What's, hey, what'sthat all about?
Why am I thinking about this?
Why, why am I thinkingabout what's wrong with me?
Why am I kickingmyself while I'm down?
What's going on with that?
Where's that coming from?
Be the observer.
Don't attach to it.
I think that's the thebiggest thing right
there is not attaching tothese kinds of thoughts.
Emily (07:33):
Absolutely.
And I do think this is verycommon with empaths and
highly sensitive people,like anyone who has been
told, "Oh, your emotions aremaking me feel uncomfortable"
or anything like that.
The thing is, is that thereis nothing wrong with you.
And a part of why we wantedto do this is we wanted to
(07:57):
also offer a way to flip thescript and not focus on the
what's wrong with me energy.
Matty (08:04):
I'll guarantee there's nothing wrong with you.
Every single one of us isa unique expression of the
whole, of the creator's energy.
And it takes all of us to tryto get a well rounded picture
of what creation looks like.
All these differentperspectives, all this
different uniqueness thatwe are, it's beautiful.
(08:26):
There's nothing wrong with us.
Our thoughts might thinkthere is, because we don't
fit into the box society wantsus to be in at all times.
Emily (08:34):
Yeah, but who wants to fit into that?
Matty (08:35):
I don't want to fit into that box.
Emily (08:37):
But I do know that it's very hard to live not wanting
to fit into the box whenthere is the box to fit into.
Oh, it is like this crazyconundrum that we all deal with.
But we can find ways to, tolive in this world and not have
to fit in and agree with andmold to society's standards of
(09:00):
what a good life looks like.
There are a million waysto have a good life.
Matty (09:06):
There might even be eight billion ways
to have a good life.
Emily (09:10):
Well, that's true because everyone can have their own
unique expression of that.
Matty (09:14):
Absolutely.
So tell me if I'm a personthat gets stuck in the,
"What's wrong with me?
Or why did I do that?"How do I flip the script?
Emily (09:26):
So start by asking yourself, how do I honor
my uniqueness that bestsuits my energy type, my
aspirations, and my desires?
So instead of trying tochange yourself to fit into
the box and fit into society,ask yourself, how can you
start to honor these things?
(09:47):
And of course, there aredefinitely laws and stuff you
absolutely want to abide by,but how can you live outside
of the box, but all, but it'sabout honoring your uniqueness.
Matty (10:01):
Beautiful.
I love it.
So take that focus and focuson how would I honor my own
uniqueness, my energy type?
I love it.
Emily (10:10):
Yeah.
Matty (10:10):
Cool.
I can do that.
I can flip the script.
Emily (10:13):
Can you do that?
Matty (10:14):
I can.
Emily (10:14):
I'd love to see that.
Let's honor.
Let's honor that beautifulenergy, uniqueness of yours.
Matty (10:20):
Yeah.
All right.
We're going to move on tothe number two, and this
is the why of others.
Why others did what they did.
When you're racking yourbrain trying to understand
the motivations of otherswithout actually asking them
or talking to them about it.
In other words, you'reoverly speculating on the
(10:40):
why of someone else whenwe can't really ever know
the why of someone else.
We can try to understand,we can analyze a situation,
we can talk to them, askthem, why'd you do that?
What makes you tick?
But, you can't really, trulyknow why, unless you're them.
(11:05):
And the same goes, no onecan truly understand your
why, even when you tell them.
They still have their ownperspective, and they're hearing
the words you're telling them,through their perspective.
You just can't fully, 100percent know someone else's why.
And this is one thatruns deep for me.
I have given so much time andenergy to the why of others.
Emily (11:30):
Yes.
So have I.
Matty (11:31):
Instead of just
Emily (11:33):
letting it be what it is.
Matty (11:35):
Oh my God.
Yes.
I mean it's one thing to analyzelike, Hey, this happened.
I feel like this about theseevents, but I've learned to not
continue to keep losing timeto like their why and to try
to fully understand where theycame from and why they did that.
Because I understand now that Ican't ever truly know their why.
Emily (11:57):
Yeah, I honestly feel like the work in the Akashic
Records, working with SoulEnergy has helped kind of
reinforce how, how much wewill absolutely never actually
know what it's like to bein someone else's shoes.
There's just so many factors atplay and it's just impossible
to know exactly wheresomeone else is coming from.
(12:20):
If you even have one personin your life that you even
think that, you know, youhave that connection where
you even have some sort ofsemblance of where they're
coming from and they get you,then that is like a miracle.
Matty (12:35):
Thank you for being that person, honey, since
you're bringing that up.
I appreciate that I got you.
Emily (12:42):
It's my pleasure.
So how do you flipthe script on this?
How do you stop focusing onother people's motivations
and the why of others?
Matty (12:52):
Well, I think if you find yourself really ruminating
about it and really speculating,then one of the first things
you have to do is askingthem about their motivations.
Like give them a chance to tellyou if this is really important
to you, but you also got toknow there's a line of that may
be none of your business too.
So you kind of got toread the situation.
(13:13):
You know, it might be differentwith a really good friend
or your life partner or yourkids or something like that.
But you know, for otherpeople, you just, you kind
of have to feel that out.
And if all else fails, you gotto let go of the desire to know.
To just chalk it up,that not everything in
this life can be known.
Especially when it comesto someone else's why
(13:34):
and their perspective andwhere they're coming from.
So if you find yourselfruminating and speculating a
lot on what other people aredoing and why they're doing
it and not how you feel aboutit or how it's affected you.
I would try asking them or just,which is really the best for me
has been getting to the point ofletting go of the need to know.
Emily (13:56):
Yeah.
Being okay with not knowing.
Matty (13:59):
There, that's a nice way to put that.
Being okay with not knowing.
Emily (14:03):
So let's move on.
So the third way that a focusenergy can be drained is
by basically getting reallyworked up and pissed off
about things that you haveno desire to help change.
And It is important to notethat you are only one person
(14:24):
and therefore can onlydo so much in this world.
And so we have to, ashuman beings, accept our
limitations for what we canaccomplish and what we cannot
accomplish in this lifetime.
And so if you are constantlyjust pissed off about politics
or your boss and you'rejust constantly pissed off,
(14:47):
you bring everyone into it,that's all you talk about.
You're just constantly pissed.
Then, you are definitelydraining your focus energy away.
So, a couple things you cando is you can either figure
out, Hey, this is somethingthat's very important to me.
Obviously, I wouldn't bepissed off about it this much.
And actually dosomething about it.
(15:08):
But if you have alreadydecided that you are not going
to do something about it.
You are not going to startrunning for some sort of
office to help in politics.
Or you're not going to quityour job then you are definitely
draining your focus energy.
You are definitely justspewing it out all over
everyone else and you arenot helping yourself at all.
Matty (15:31):
There's a, a bit of a conundrum here
because you really aredraining your focus energy.
It is unempowering, but beingmad feels empowering at times.
Emily (15:43):
Mm, that's true.
Matty (15:44):
I used to have that mixed up where I thought my,
my righteous rage, my angerabout something and how dumb
this is and why can't peoplejust see what blah blah, blah
and I would just get into it.
Like, I thought that that waspowerful because I'm emoting
out loud and I'm complainingand arrh, I didn't realize
(16:05):
how much that used to drainme in when I was younger.
Emily (16:09):
Well, it is powerful because it does release
all of these differentthings in your body.
I mean, it releases adrenaline,it releases cortisol,
it releases dopamine.
All of these things feelgood, and I say that in
quotes, but you're reallyjust keeping yourself, you
know, down and in this crazycircle of pissed off edness.
Matty (16:31):
Which is losing your energy in the end.
Emily (16:33):
Exactly.
And it's basically justkeeping you in fight or
flight and your body in thistense feeling at all times.
And then you are unableto, I mean, it's basically
an addiction, really.
Because you do haveall of those hormones
pumping through your body.
Those are hormones, right?
Dopamine?
(16:54):
No.
Neurotransmitters?
Matty (16:56):
But adrenaline and cortisol are hormones.
Emily (16:58):
Okay.
Matty (16:59):
Or they're coming, yeah, coming from the adrenal glands.
Emily (17:01):
Yes, so you've got these hormones pumping through
so you're feeling good.
But you're not really feelinggood because you're just
keeping your body in thisfight or flight and it keeps
you from actually beingable to relax and feel good.
So, if you find yourselfdoing this, God only knows
I've been there and I havedefinitely spent many many
(17:24):
years trying to work on this.
Really trying to find morestillness and peace within
my own body, not keepingmyself all riled up over
things that I'm not willingto jump in and help change.
Matty (17:38):
Like tell your boss off and quit and
go find a different job?
Yeah.
I mean, wow, that one got me.
I would just stay mad andstay in that pattern and feel
powerless to change it andnot do anything about it.
Yeah.
That one in particularfor me, big time.
Emily (17:56):
So the most obvious way to flip the script is to
actually make a commitmentand help change these things.
But like I said, you'reonly one person, you
can't change everything.
You can only do somuch as one person.
So if it's something thatyou've decided that you are
not going to take part in toactually be the change you want
(18:20):
to see, then you can benefitfrom a huge perspective shift.
So if it's, for example, likewe talked about, you want to
tell your boss off and you wantto quit, but you know, you're
not going to do that right now.
I mean, you can startputting forward the motion.
Start looking forsomething different.
Start looking for a way toget out of that situation.
(18:44):
But if that is not ideal foryou, which there's so many
reasons why it may not bethe most ideal for you, then
start trying to look forthings to be grateful for.
Start trying to focuson bettering your
situation or yourself.
Matty (19:00):
Replace pissed off with gratitude.
Emily (19:03):
Yes or just a higher purpose.
I have a good example of this,like when I was waiting tables,
oh my God, I was just so fuckingover it, like, for so long.
But, I developed this plan,Matty and I got together
and we developed this plan.
Alright, we're gonna startsaving up money, and we're
gonna pay off our debt.
Like, that was the plan.
(19:25):
And so, even though I was, itlike pissed me off to be at
work, I was able to flip thescript because I was so focused
on getting myself out of debt.
Starting to save moneytowards things that we
really wanted to do.
And just being able to flipthat script, like, really
helped me go to work andcome home every single day.
(19:48):
And then I tried tofind more gratitude.
Okay, well, at least I'm able topay off my debt with this job.
At least I'm able to save money.
At least I'm able to go tothis concert or like whatever
it is for you that, you know,makes you a little happier.
Makes you feel a littlebit more grateful about
your position, start there!And then you can work your way
(20:09):
up to finding more gratitudeand more gratitude, or a higher
purpose for what you're doing.
Because it could be a bridgeto something different.
And that's okay.
Matty (20:21):
That's totally cool.
Emily (20:23):
Yeah.
But it's about finding thathigher purpose and where
you are now to get youto where you want to go.
Matty (20:30):
Sometimes the best way to get to where you
want to go is a bridge or acouple of stepping stones.
Yep.
Absolutely.
It's not always directly A to B.
Sometimes it's A toD and there's a B and
a C step in between.
Totally.
Yeah.
That's a good point, babe.
All right.
So let's move on.
We're going to go to numberfour, which is trying to
(20:50):
help someone that doesn'twant to be helped and isn't
willing to help themselves.
You're putting your focusor your energy into how
someone else needs to change.
Emily (21:00):
Or putting all your energy into solving their
problem when they're not puttingany energy into it whatsoever.
Matty (21:07):
And I have been big time guilty of this.
And it's my kindness,my big heart.
I just wanted to help people.
Emily (21:15):
I mean, I think it does come from that place.
It does come from a, you seesomeone suffering and you're
like, Oh, they need help.
So obviously I'm the onebecause I can see this in
them, but they don't want it.
Are they asking you for help?
If they're not asking youfor help, they don't want it.
You can't force helpon someone else.
And it's just not reallycool to expect someone
(21:38):
like expect someone else tochange just because you think
that they need to change.
People will only changeif they want to change.
Matty (21:45):
Well, I think flipping the script in moments like this
is asking yourself are theydoing things to help themselves?
And then, can Ibe a part of that?
Do they want me tobe a part of that?
Are they even asking for help?
One thing for me, and youkind of hit on this, but I
had to learn like, Who am Ito decide someone needs help?
(22:06):
Was it just my big heart andkindness, or did somehow I
think maybe I was in a betterplace and I could extend help
when I'm in no better place orworse place than anyone else.
We're all just in our place.
We're in our process.
We're in our growthand our learnings.
We're in it.
That was one for me thatkind of helped flip the
script was who am I todecide that they need help?
(22:30):
I can offer it.
They can ask for it, but thatwas, that was a tough one.
Emily (22:36):
I actually carry a lot of guilt and shame around this
one because I do, I can seethat someone else is suffering
and I just want to be thereand I want to help them.
But they didn't ask for myhelp and they didn't want my
help and so therefore it reallycauses tension with people.
If you walk up to someone andyou're like, Hey, you obviously
(22:59):
need my help and then tryto push your help on them.
It is not a good place to be.
Matty (23:05):
I've pissed people off trying to be helpful
because they didn't think theyneeded help in a situation.
Yeah, absolutely.
Emily (23:16):
Yes, me too.
And, and I feel bad aboutit because I see the higher
perspective now and I see thatI was trying to force help and
change on them when that is notwhat they wanted for themselves.
And that can be veryfrustrating, especially if
you're with a partner whodoesn't want to change.
(23:36):
And you're like, but, but ifyou just did this, this, and
this, then you could ease allthis suffering in your life.
But sadly, it's not your place.
If someone wants tochange, they will change.
Unfortunately,that's the only way.
I mean, I say for fortunately,and unfortunately,
unfortunately, if you're someoneelse seeing someone suffer
(23:59):
because you want to be ableto do something to help them.
But if someone wants tochange, they will change,
and that is the only way.
Matty (24:07):
They will put efforts in changing their own life,
even if the effort is, andthis is hard to do too, is
to realize you need help.
To actually, you know,get to that point and be
like I'm in over my head.
I need help here.
I don't see the way out.
I need my friends.
I need my family.
I need somebody in my life,you know, to, to help me here,
(24:30):
to bounce some ideas off of,to get some new perspective.
I need to ask for help.
So just because from a placeof integrity, from a place of
love and kindness and your bigheart, that you want to help
somebody and you recognize it,that they need help, that you
could be of assistance to them.
It doesn't mean that thatmakes it right for them too.
(24:52):
You're there and you're readyto help, but if they're not
ready to accept and wantingit and to put in a little
effort themselves, then notmuch is going to change.
And it may actually createa worse situation for you.
So if you're someone thatis trying to help people
that don't want help.
Emily (25:08):
Start focusing on yourself.
Matty (25:11):
Yeah.
Focus on yourself.
Emily (25:14):
And tell them that you will be there for them if
they need something, but youcannot force your help or you
can't force someone to change.
Take it from me, I'vepissed a lot of people off.
It's that channel ofjudgment that I've got.
Human design.
Matty (25:33):
Yeah.
Gate of Correction.
Emily (25:35):
Oh, Gate of Correction.
Yeah.
That's what it is.
But it's the channelof I can't remember the
full channel's name.
Matty (25:42):
This is one of those energy makeup things that
Emily and I both have, andit just means you can usually
see when something's off.
And can lend assistance witha thought or an idea or, you
know, an actual helping hand.
But just because you can seeit doesn't mean it's right
for someone else or they'reready or they even want it.
Emily (26:03):
It is called the channel of judgment.
18-58.
Matty (26:06):
Yeah.
Emily (26:08):
All right.
So moving on.
I think we've verymuch reinforced that.
Matty (26:15):
Yeah.
That was the other onefor me in this list that
I've been super guilty of.
Not guilty, there's nothingwrong with wanting to
help people, but just thatI've been caught up and
lost so much energy in.
Emily (26:28):
And trying to solve someone else's problems,
but they don't want tosolve it themselves.
Matty (26:32):
And ignoring issues with myself or even overly trying to
help somebody to the point thatI created problems for myself.
Because I overgave on money ormy time and then I wasn't doing
what I needed to do for me ordidn't have the funds to take
care of something I needed.
Like Emily said, we're goingto move on to another one.
(26:55):
And this is one, I thinkevery single one of us
have wrapped ourselves upin it sometime or another.
Emily (27:02):
Oh yeah.
Matty (27:03):
And that is focusing on things that don't really
matter is one way to put it.
Spending way too muchtime trying to decide on
something that's a littlebit more trivial like what
show to watch on Netflix.
What are we gonna eatfor dinner tonight?
What clothes am I gonna wear?
Emily (27:19):
Yeah
Matty (27:20):
These things matter in the sense that
you gotta feed yourself.
Emily (27:24):
And you want to look good.
Matty (27:25):
Yeah, it's acceptable to wear clothes in society.
I think most of societyprefers that we do.
You know, and a littleNetflix and chill is, or
whatever your little winddown time is, is good for us.
But, not every decision hasto be the perfect decision.
This movie, this meal,this outfit's gonna make
(27:48):
or break my life and I havedefinitely spent time on
things like it would have.
That is for sure in my life.
Emily (27:56):
Yeah.
I don't even feel likethere's too much more we
really have to say on thisone because I think we all
know what we're talking about.
I think that we all knowthat there are places where
we maybe take longer to makedecisions than, than we could.
On the trivial things, ifit's important and something
really important, of courseyou want to take time.
(28:18):
And of course you want tohave your focus towards
making that decision.
But the trivial stuff, justtry to decide a little faster.
Matty (28:30):
That would be the easiest thing, I think, to
flip the script is to ifyou're literally getting down
between a couple of thingsand ruminating on which one's
the best, like, flip a coin.
If you and your partnerboth want to watch
something different, rock,paper, scissors for it.
Find ways to just make thesedecisions and let it be okay,
and then, you know what?
You got your movie tonight,I get mine the next time.
(28:52):
Try to make yourdecisions faster.
Have fun with it if you can.
Don't keep racking yourbrain and losing time to just
things that are more trivial.
I can't tell you what's trivial.
I mean, we tried to come upwith a few examples for you,
but you know, what's trivialin your life and what's not.
Emily (29:10):
Yeah, for sure.
Matty (29:12):
Save your focus energy for the important things.
For the things that matter,for the things that really
light you up and nourish youand nourish your heart space.
That's a better wayto focus your energy
and serve it for that.
Emily (29:27):
Moving on.
So number six is ruminatingabout the past without any
real desire to find thehigher learning from it.
So I do think it's veryimportant when memories come
up from your past, I think thatit is important to review them.
Maybe think about thesituation, think about why it's
(29:50):
coming up, but if it's justconstant rumination over and
over, why did they do this?
Why did this happen?
Why did this happen to me?
There is a lot of victimhoodmentality in that if you're
constantly trying to Thinkabout past situations over
(30:11):
and over and over withoutever trying to find any kind
of higher learning for whythis memory keeps popping up.
Or what is so importantabout this situation.
And it could be that thispattern keeps resurfacing in
your life over and over and sotherefore these past memories
keep coming up and withoutany kind of higher learning
(30:35):
or realization like, Oh, thisis why this keeps coming up.
This is why this memory keepspopping up is because I'm
literally in the exact samesituation that I was then.
So this is really more aboutif you're not willing to look
at any kind of higher learning,it's just constant rumination.
And a lot of times there's alot of blaming energy with this
(30:57):
too, if you're not willing tosee the higher learning from it.
Matty (31:00):
And it could be stuff like, my life was so good when.
Emily (31:05):
Oh, totally.
Matty (31:06):
It's not always, you know, negative things.
Emily (31:08):
It's not always about the blaming, yeah.
Matty (31:10):
It's just your nostalgia, you just keep longing for
something in the past.
It's basically keepingyou out of the present.
So you're constantlyruminating about the past,
or maybe even the future.
You're constantly thinking ofthings, but like Emily said,
when it's literally stuffthat have happened to you,
there's a point behind it.
It's not random that thesememories keep popping up.
(31:34):
And when we don't learnfrom things, and we
don't grow from our lifelessons, patterns repeat.
But the players inthe patterns change.
Where you're at changes.
You're a different person,so it can't be the exact same
thing that happened to you,but the energy underneath
it it will be the same.
And this is what we'regetting at on looking for
(31:55):
those higher learnings.
Emily (31:56):
Yeah, but I really appreciate that point that you
brought up because that wasn'tsomething I was thinking about
when I was making these notes.
But yeah, if you're constantlylike, Oh, high school, those
were the good days or college.
I'll never have gooddays like college again.
I mean, if you're constantlyjust ruminating on that,
then you're basically keepingyourself stuck from ever
(32:16):
having a good time again.
I mean, we allchange, things change.
You know, if you're in your40s, like we are, you're not
in your college age anymore.
And I mean, thank God I'mnot still doing the things
that I did in college.
I mean, I feel like almostevery part of my life, I can
be like, yeah, there were somegood parts, but there were also
(32:39):
some really shitty parts too.
Matty (32:41):
Oh, you mean life was all the things?
Yes.
Life was ups and downs, right?
Exactly.
Emily (32:48):
So, it is interesting when people are like,
Oh, I miss those days.
Those were the days.
It's like, you know what?
Create those days now.
Create something to be proudof, create a wonderful time now.
Matty (33:03):
And the other thing I would offer, too,
on flipping the scriptis not attaching to it.
You know, if you're havingthose were the days.
It keeps popping up.
Don't attach to it, becauseif those were the days, then
today can never be the day,and tomorrow surely can't be.
So don't attach toit being in the past.
(33:23):
Be like, hey, man, those days,those memories are awesome.
That was a lot of fun.
And then, how can you createmore of that in your life now?
In a way that suits youruniqueness and where
your energy's at now.
How can you make today the day?
And if it is things that feelslike a pattern that's repeating
(33:43):
and you're having memories comeup that are more challenging,
then look for the connection.
Don't attach to it.
Oh, what's wrong with me?
Here we go again.
I'm thinking about this again.
No.
Why is this coming up?
What is it about that that mightbe trying to show me something
about my life right now?
(34:04):
Find that awareness.
Get that higher perspective.
Because if you can get that ahaand that learning, then you can
start to take the power back.
Then you can start toshift your present reality.
And then you canovercome that challenge.
You can nip thatpattern in the bud.
You can move into newpatterns, new challenges.
(34:26):
Because on the otherside of this is growth.
And then life up levelsand gives you something
new to experience.
Emily (34:34):
And I feel like that's a really good segue to the next
one, because if you are livinga life of growth, there will
be times in your life where yourealize that you've outgrown
where you are, and it can turninto what we think is a big one.
And our number seven on thislist is complaining and bitching
(34:56):
about life and circumstances.
And, like Matty said, if you're,if you're in this life and
you're on the growth plan likeI feel like a lot of us are.
Matty (35:08):
We all are.
Well, we all are.
That's one of thoseuniversal laws of being here.
We're all on the growth plan.
We just don't all acceptthat we're on the growth
plan and learn fromour life's experiences.
I mean shit.
I used to read I didn'tknow about that notion, but
I would have rejected it.
I'm not here to grow, whatever.
(35:28):
I'm here to just live lifeand experience and have fun.
Emily (35:34):
And for the listeners, we are, we are talking about
growing up as in gettingolder, but we are talking
more so being on the growthplan as like evolved.
Like, I don't even know ifevolution is the right word.
It's just.
Learning from your experiencesand gaining that awareness.
Matty (35:52):
Changes you, you become a different person.
You're growing.
Emily (35:58):
Yes.
Growing as a person,becoming more wholesome.
Matty (36:01):
Yeah.
More well rounded.
Emily (36:03):
As a synonym for growth.
Matty (36:06):
Yeah, I feel like, I mean, it's, it's evolving, but
I feel like when you say theword evolve or evolution, people
think of climbing a ladder.
Each rung is I'm better.
I'm better.
I'm growing.
I'm getting better.
I'm climbing this ladder.
I'm going to get to the topand reach the top and then
there is no top to that ladder.
But true soul growth is reallyjust being in like the middle
(36:28):
of a hamster ball that'sclear and you're just moving.
Growth is movement andlearning from your experience.
And as you move around,you realize like, Oh,
actually, if I go in thisdirection, I flow easier.
And then I got to turnhere and then turn
there and I keep moving.
But you may have to backpedal.
You may have to like, you know,climb back down that ladder.
(36:50):
Heck, you may have to jump fromthat one to a different one.
It's not this, I'm gettingbetter and better and better.
Yeah, there's no hierarchy.
Growth isn't that way.
There is no hierarchy.
Exactly.
Growth is just learning fromyour experience and however
you take that in and it worksfor you, you've expanded your
awareness and the realityof who you are, of what
you can do, of what you canovercome, what you can achieve.
(37:14):
That's growth.
Emily (37:15):
Totally.
Expanded awareness.
That's a good way to put it.
So number seven,complaining and bitching
about life circumstances.
I mean, we all have beenthere, but the thing is, is
that people get stuck in this.
They get stuck complaining,they get stuck bitching, and
they don't do anything about it.
(37:35):
They just constantly bitchto everyone they know, they
call people up, anyone whowill listen, and emotionally
just dump all over them.
And I mean, I say them, but us.
I mean, everyone, we allhave been guilty of this.
But this is something tobe really conscientious of
in your life if you findyourself in this moment,
(37:57):
because you probably will.
If you're on the growth plan,you will hit a point where you
have outgrown where you areand it's time to move forward.
So instead of sittingback and complaining and
bitching about where you are.
Or if you do startgetting there, then
realize, take notice.
(38:17):
Okay, it's time to make changes.
Matty (38:20):
I feel like from my life's experiences, and I do
think this holds true, thatoften when we're complaining
about things, I mean, there'sthird dimensional proof in
my reality that something'sfucked up, or this is
just bullshit, or wrong.
And there's something to likeactually complain about, but
it's attaching to it, andattaching to what's wrong
(38:43):
in our life or attaching to,you know, what might seem
chaotic and then constantlyputting our focus there.
And then, you know, whathappens is we bitch.
Emily (38:55):
And you create more of things to bitch about.
Matty (38:58):
Exactly.
What else?
If you're at the point whereyour focus is on what's wrong
and complaining and bitchingabout life and what's wrong,
well your subconscious mindis going to create more wrong.
More things for youto complain about.
More chaos in your life.
And what's really happeningis you've probably gotten to
(39:18):
a point where you've eithergrown to a point that you've
outgrown your circumstances.
Or you've deviated off ofyour growth plan so much
that life is trying to coursecorrect with you, for you.
Life happens for us.
It doesn't happen to us.
So if you find that lifeseems really chaotic or that
(39:40):
you're catching yourselflike, whoa, I'm, I am, there
is a lot to bitch about inmy life and I am complaining
a lot and I feel justified,but I am doing it a lot.
So why is my lifegoing like this?
What could I, is theresomething I could change?
Have I outgrownmy circumstances?
Is my boyfriend orgirlfriend, is it, is it over?
(40:03):
And is this job done for me?
Do I need to moveto a different city?
What's going on?
Like, there's a reasonthat life is like this.
You've either outgrown it oryou need a course correction.
Like chaos is chaotic and crazyand kind of fucked up, but it's
also the harbinger of change.
(40:24):
And if you've got chaos in yourlife or things to complain and
bitch about, flip the script.
Start asking yourself whythis is going on and what
you could do about itand what is it trying to
show you about your life.
And we talked about thisearlier, this is a really good
point to take a breath and findanything you can be grateful
(40:45):
for in your life and focus onwhat you can be grateful for.
And less on what is chaoticor the things that you are
actually complaining andbitching about, even if there's
proof that they're rightthere and you feel justified.
Nip, nip this energy in the budand nourish yourself with some
gratitude and then try to figureout why this chaos is happening.
(41:05):
Because it's a signal.
It's a big signal.
Emily (41:09):
Yeah.
But I do think it's importantjust to mention that if you
do find yourself complainingabout your life and your
circumstances, then moving intogratitude is not this like,
all right, light switch whereyou just like flip it over.
It's literally any time youcatch yourself falling back
(41:29):
into that complaining or thatbitching mode, then that's
when you remind yourself, Ohwait, just try to start finding
things to be grateful for.
It's a, it's a constant reminderand a constant practice.
This isn't like somethingyou just, Should be
amazing at at first.
At first go, oh goodness.
It's like you literally,you literally like catch
(41:50):
yourself in the moment andyou're like, you know what?
No, this is not howI want my life to be.
It's okay to bring awarenessto the fact that you're not
exactly where you want to be inthis moment, and that's okay,
but just start trying to findanything to be grateful for.
I'm grateful that I'm breathing.
I'm grateful that I hada delicious meal today.
(42:13):
I'm grateful that Idrank lots of water.
I'm grateful that I madetime to read something that
I love or journal aboutsomething important to me.
Or I took a walktoday in nature.
I pet on my puppy.
Like anything.
And this is when, thisis a constant reminder.
(42:35):
This is where you startbringing more gratitude,
more things to be gratefulfor in your life because
you start focusing on those.
Matty (42:42):
And when you're not attaching to things,
you get to observe what'shappening in your mind,
what's happening in your life.
This is how you cancatch, like Emily says,
it's a constant reminder.
You catch yourself in a modeof complaining and bitching
about something and you nip itin the bud and you try to find
(43:03):
anything to be grateful for.
And, I mean, when I firststarted practicing this, I had
to do that, like, all the time.
Many, many times in a day.
I would just be like,nope, stop, stop, stop it.
Okay, I've eaten twice today,I'm really grateful that I
was able to feed myself twice.
Hey, I've, I've got awork shift coming up.
(43:24):
I'm grateful I get to go inand have an opportunity to
earn money and keep food in myfridge and a roof over my head.
Whatever it was, I have a car.
I've got clothes.
I've got parents that I don'tsee often, but they love me.
Hey, I've got my two bestbuddies in this town.
I don't get to see themenough, but man, when we do,
(43:46):
we share laughs, and I surelove them and they love me.
Whatever you can find to begrateful for, small things,
big things, any things.
Flip that script.
And I will say, too,life only sends
what we can handle.
We're challenged at thelevel of intensity with
(44:07):
what we can handle.
So if it feels like a lot inyour life, like it's too much,
like this is so much, likethis is a lot, like you don't
fucking understand it's a lot.
Well, it's because you havethat same level of intensity
of potential within you.
That's why life isthrowing so much at you.
(44:28):
That's why it feels like alot because within you is
the answer, is the energy toovercome, is the ability to
observe with your mind, findnew awareness, ask the right
questions, put forth thededication of your energetic
(44:51):
resources and your focuson changing your life.
On achieving that goal.
And on the other side is growthand a higher perspective.
I used to get myself down,like, I don't know if I
can handle this, I don'tknow if I can handle this.
Until I realized that, and Istill get afraid of things, I
still have my fears, I stillam challenged by what life
(45:13):
throws at me and what I needto do or what I want to do.
But understand that if it'scoming at you, you got this.
You absolutely have got this.
I'll get off my soapbox now.
Emily (45:29):
No, I think that's great.
I think that wrapsit up perfectly.
And brings us to ourchallenge for the new year.
This is definitelysomething that we are
going to be doing as well.
And it's something that wejust wanted to throw out
there as a challenge to you.
You to take time and thinkabout what are your, what
(45:52):
is most important to you?
What are your goals?
What are your aspirations?
And pick three or less thanthree, one, two, or three
at the most, but try don't,don't pick a whole bunch
of things because you don'twant to scatter your focus.
And so pick no morethan three things.
These can be big or smallthings to focus on that align
(46:17):
with your goals and aspirationsand your values, and that
are very important for you.
And so this is athree month challenge.
And it's just to bring awarenessto your life as to where you are
putting your focus energy on.
And to focus more energy onthese things that you decide.
(46:39):
And so, for an examplewe came up with a short
list of our three things.
And our first one is onethat we have basically been
thinking about and planningand, I mean, for years now.
Which is teaching people howto access the Akashic records.
(47:00):
And we really want to geta class up and running.
We really want to start it soon.
I mean, we couldn't really bemore excited about this course.
Matty (47:11):
About offering other people the opportunity to
access the Akashic Records andto mentor and guide them along
their journey of connectingdeeper with themselves.
Emily (47:22):
And create more magic in your life.
Matty (47:24):
Being able to find that divinity within, work with
your Akashic Record guides onanything and everything that's
coming up in your world, like.
Emily (47:35):
I mean this is a lifetime skill.
This is a forever skillthat once you learn you
will have it forever.
Matty (47:44):
It's taken my intuition to incredible heights.
Emily (47:48):
Yes.
Matty (47:49):
And not only that, but my trust, which I think is
one of the hardest things whenpeople are really trying to
get an intuitive space and bereceptive and open is trusting.
And being able to havemethods in a way to access
your own soul's record,to access exactly what you
(48:11):
need on your path of growth,it's helped me tremendously.
And I'm super excited to,here soon, be able to offer
this mentorship and thisguidance up to others.
And this is like Emilysaid, something we've been
having on the back burner.
We work out a littlebit here and there.
And I remember even thinkinglike losing my focus to,
(48:32):
when I feel like I've gotenough experience, I can't
wait to teach people.
And instead of just realizing,Oh, I am that guy with enough
experience to teach people.
So it's been kind of coolto review today's podcast
and realize like, Oh wow,this big goal of ours is
actually something that hasbeen in the plans and been
(48:54):
worked on here and there.
And I've actually lost alittle focus here and there,
dreaming about the futureinstead of just working on
the present more and more.
Emily (49:03):
Yeah, so if this is something that sounds
interesting to you, thatyou would like to know
more information on,please get into our world,
get on our mailing list.
Like, we were definitelygoing to be sending out
more information about this.
And we're hoping to launchsoon, hopefully at least the
first go starting hopefullythe beginning of February.
Matty (49:25):
Yeah, that's our aim.
Emily (49:26):
Yeah, February 1st.
So if that sounds good to you,then please get into our world.
We couldn't be moreexcited about this.
And the other two things.
Matty (49:38):
That's a really good segue for number
two on the list, which Iknow is really important.
Something you've beengotten the works to, if
you want to bring it up.
Emily (49:45):
Yes.
And you know, it's a smallergoal as far as the first
one goes but it is to starta monthly newsletter and we
really want to just keep peopleinformed about what's going on.
Different things that weare offering and start
doing a monthly channel.
Matty (50:05):
Channel channeling.
Emily (50:07):
Channeled message
Matty (50:09):
From the Akashic records.
Emily (50:10):
Yeah a monthly channeled message.
So we're gonna start includingthis channeled message within
our newsletter and have abunch of some other goodies.
So that is our second goal.
And then our third goal, Ifeel like hopefully will be
the easiest to accomplish.
Matty (50:26):
It better be the easiest to accomplish.
I think this is podcast episode22, if I'm not mistaken.
So we've been doingthis for a while.
I feel like I have the workflowdown, how we record, what we
use, where I upload it, howI edit, the time it takes.
Like I've gotten all thisdown into a pretty good flow.
(50:48):
I feel, I feel good about it.
But the one thing we haven'tbeen great about, and I
really want this, and Iknow you do too, is I want
a set day for recording.
I want this to be Thursday.
Our show comes out on Wednesday.
I want to record on Thursday.
There's plenty of time toget all the editing done.
It's not recording on theweekend, so if we want to go
(51:09):
snowboarding on the weekend, wego snowboarding on the weekend.
I'll edit on Monday becausewe've already recorded.
But this also means that nowI know, hey, we have to have
our notes done on Wednesdayfor our recording on Thursday.
So it really just helpsorganize things, but this is
something I've been craving.
And we're such feelers.
(51:31):
I work great when I have aschedule and I know what I
need to do, but I don't, Idon't do great on making it.
I'm just kind of like,yeah, we've got tomorrow.
Let's do tomorrow.
Or, you know, I'm feeling, yeah,I'm feeling the vibes today.
Let's record today.
So we really want to havea set schedule, get a
little more organized.
And this also allows us tobe spontaneous with other
(51:53):
things because I'm settinga schedule on the things
that are important to me.
Like how we've beentransitioning into
doing our HIIT trainingearlier in the day.
So we're ready for spontaneitywithin our workday.
We know what else we needto get done, but then we're
already ready because we'vetaken care of our needs.
(52:14):
So we set the days, we takecare of the podcasting needs.
It just allows for morespontaneity, which I'm
looking forward to.
So this should be theeasiest of the three to
take care of and we'll,we'll find out on Thursday.
Emily (52:28):
And so I feel like this could be a good place to end.
If you decide to accept thechallenge and start trying
to bring more awareness intoyour life and more mindfulness
to where you are focusingyour energy, I think a good
question that you can startasking yourself is, is what I
am doing right now getting mecloser or further from my goals?
(52:52):
Or your aspirationsor whatever it is.
I know goals and aspirationsare kind of similar, but
goals can be much smaller.
Aspirations are alittle bit bigger.
So is what I am doing rightnow, getting me closer or
further from these goals?
Matty (53:07):
And just be honest with yourself.
If it is, great.
If it isn't,refocus your energy.
Maybe that something is a littlebit more trivial in your life
and you could spend less focuson it and more on your goal.
This is going to be a bigquestion that's going to come
up a lot for me and I'm lookingforward to the challenge.
I'm looking forward tohitting all of our goals and
(53:28):
the excitement that awaits.
Well, setting forth somethingand then accomplishing it.
It's a good feeling.
Emily (53:34):
Check.
Check.
Check it off that to do list.
Matty (53:38):
Yep.
Well, thank you so muchfor joining us today.
Emily (53:42):
Yes, we very much enjoyed making this podcast
and we really hope that youwill join us on this challenge.
Matty (53:49):
And if you have any questions about focus energy
or things we're talking about,I always leave the email in
every show's description.
Hit us up.
If you have something elsethat you want to mention.
A different way that yourealize that we didn't mention,
because we just tried topick common things and stuff
we've gone through wherewe're losing our focus energy
(54:11):
and where you might be too.
It's all aboutbringing awareness and
shifting perspectives.
That's all we're trying to do.
And if you want to bring someawareness our way, we're
so down to hear your storyand what's going on in
your world and what yourexperience has been like too.
Because each of us contributesto the whole and every one of
(54:31):
us has valuable information,valuable experience, valuable
perspective to add to it all.
Emily (54:38):
Indeed.
Happy New Year!
Matty (54:40):
Happy New Year!
Emily (54:41):
Have a wonderful 2025.
Matty (54:44):
And we'll see you next week.
Emily (54:45):
Bye bye!
Hey there, amazing souls, and welcome to today's show.
Emily (00:03):
Happy New Year!
Matty (00:05):
Happy, happy, happy New Year!
It's 2025 as of today.
Emily (00:10):
Yeah, that is just insane for me to think about.
It seems like so futuristic,back in like the 80s and
90s, thinking about 2025.
Just seems so crazy.
Matty (00:23):
I don't think I was thinking that far ahead.
Emily (00:27):
When Back to the Future came out you were?
I definitely was.
Matty (00:31):
Oh, okay, absolutely.
Emily (00:33):
I'm like, what?
2000?
Oh my gosh!
Matty (00:37):
We're still waiting on a few of those things
from that movie, aren't we?
Emily (00:40):
I don't know, I don't remember the movie.
Matty (00:41):
Technologies and things.
Emily (00:43):
Well, yeah, the flying cars.
Matty (00:45):
And hoverboards.
Emily (00:46):
I mean, they have things that they call
hoverboards, but they'renot as cool as in the movie.
Matty (00:51):
Yeah, that's true.
Emily (00:53):
Alright, so we're talking about focus energy, and here we
are already not staying focused.
Matty (00:58):
That was a perfect little example for everybody.
We're going to dive intoways that you might be
wasting your focus energy.
And I'm pretty much, thethings we're gonna cover, I've
been there on most of theseand one of them still gets
me occasionally, for sure.
We all have this amazingcapacity to handle a lot
(01:21):
and to think about a lot andfocus on a lot of things.
But, we're not always nourishingourselves with what we focus on.
And we're giving away our energyand we're losing our energy.
And sometimes, you know, justhaving a little distraction
is perfectly fine andhealthy and good for us.
Emily (01:40):
And necessary.
Matty (01:41):
Yes, absolutely.
And it's necessary.
Emily (01:44):
But if you're constantly draining your energy because
your focus is on, well,we have a list for you.
And it always seems likewe come up with seven
things in our list.
So it's like, as we're typingthings out, Oh, seven again,
must be our magic number.
So shall we get started?
Yeah, do we have a lifeupdate really quickly?
(02:06):
We are still chillin inFort Collins with our
favorite puppy, Aspen.
We had a pretty coolChristmas time this year.
Matty (02:16):
The best time in the last several years.
I mean, we've been travelingfor three and a half years
now, so we haven't had ahome base for Christmas.
We busted out a treeand decorations.
The homeowner showed us wherethings were and was just
like, Go ham, have fun, dowhatever you want with it.
So we got tree and lightsand all sorts of stuff up.
(02:36):
Emily was reallygood about that.
It was super cool fun.
Emily (02:39):
So we also met those reindeer, got
to meet two reindeer.
Holly and Savannah.
They were super cute.
It was just really coolbeing in their presence.
And just they werethe chillest reindeer.
And it was really coolbecause the the man who was
the reindeer's owners talkedabout how he just walked out
into his field because hesays he has 55 acres where he
(03:03):
raises reindeer and zebras.
Was there another animal?
Matty (03:06):
And they have two pet camels.
Emily (03:08):
Oh, yeah camels.
Matty (03:09):
We don't raise them.
We just have two for pets.
Emily (03:12):
But you could tell that these reindeer were very loved,
but he said that they justrun around on their property.
And he ran out and he said sowho wants to go with me today
and Holly and Savannah thesetwo reindeer come running
over to him and they'rethe ones that were there.
So, it was pretty cool.
It was really cool.
(03:32):
They just had like themost, like, serene presence.
Matty (03:36):
It was like they knew how special and awesome they were.
They just were coolwith being themselves.
They were cool with beinggawked at and looked at by
everybody that was around.
And there's all that littlekid energy, you know, freaking
out for them and stuff.
And then us and a few otherjust adults without kids around
that are just like, askingquestions of this guy, you
(03:56):
know, who was there caretakerand just totally enjoying it.
But they had this, I mean,serene, majestic kind
of quality about them.
It was, it was cool.
Emily (04:07):
And the man's daughter, she just sat
in there with Savannah.
She said that she bottlefed this reindeer since it
was a week old and they werelike the best of friends.
Like she just sat thereand this reindeer just like
basically laid on her shoulderfor the majority of time.
It was so sweet.
Matty (04:27):
Yeah, that's right, she leaned up she leaned up against
Savannah and then Savannah puther chin like on her shoulder.
Emily (04:32):
Yeah Okay So shall we get started?
Matty (04:37):
Let's jump in to ways you might be
wasting your focus energy.
Emily (04:42):
Should I start with the first one?
Matty (04:43):
Yeah, let her rip, babe.
Emily (04:45):
All right, so the very first one is being overly
focused and concentratingon what's wrong with me?
Like constantly trying tofind something wrong with
you as an excuse for notaccomplishing your goals or
not being able to move forwardor staying in stuckness.
(05:07):
I feel like what's wrong withme, that's something I feel
like we've all asked ourselves.
I mean, this is a verycrazy world we live in and
the truth is, is the worldis just kind of fucked up.
But that is completelyseparate from anything
being wrong with you.
So I can imagine that there'snothing wrong with you.
(05:28):
That you may be a little bitmore sensitive than others.
You may have differentviews on what is right,
but I think that's part ofwhat makes us very human.
And I see this a lot withpeople that are very attached
to their thoughts and emotions.
If you overly attach to yourthoughts, I mean, you're just
(05:48):
gonna, everyone has streams ofthoughts just coming through
their mind at all time.
But if you identify and attachto those thoughts, then chances
are you're going to feel lessthan good about yourself because
we all have fucked up thoughts.
I mean, I think that'sjust part of being human.
(06:09):
But I'm, but I also think withtechniques such as meditation
and mindfulness, I thinkwith those techniques, you
can help kind of keep likebasically keep your thoughts
from overrunning, like takingover the show, essentially.
Matty (06:26):
I definitely think the key is not to attach, to be
the observer of your thoughtsand of your emotions, but
don't attach your identity towhatever happens to be spewing
from your mind in that moment.
That's just what'scoming out of your mind.
That's just yourthoughts, it's not you.
And the same goes when yourthoughts are high vibes.
(06:49):
That's not you,those are your thoughts.
But the more you observeand when you're having
high vibe thoughts, patyourself on the back.
That's right, you'rein a good space.
And if you're not,ask those questions.
We've talked about this inpretty much every podcast we do.
Bring awareness to yourself.
(07:11):
Dig in a little bit.
What's, hey, what'sthat all about?
Why am I thinking about this?
Why, why am I thinkingabout what's wrong with me?
Why am I kickingmyself while I'm down?
What's going on with that?
Where's that coming from?
Be the observer.
Don't attach to it.
I think that's the thebiggest thing right
there is not attaching tothese kinds of thoughts.
Emily (07:33):
Absolutely.
And I do think this is verycommon with empaths and
highly sensitive people,like anyone who has been
told, "Oh, your emotions aremaking me feel uncomfortable"
or anything like that.
The thing is, is that thereis nothing wrong with you.
And a part of why we wantedto do this is we wanted to
(07:57):
also offer a way to flip thescript and not focus on the
what's wrong with me energy.
Matty (08:04):
I'll guarantee there's nothing wrong with you.
Every single one of us isa unique expression of the
whole, of the creator's energy.
And it takes all of us to tryto get a well rounded picture
of what creation looks like.
All these differentperspectives, all this
different uniqueness thatwe are, it's beautiful.
(08:26):
There's nothing wrong with us.
Our thoughts might thinkthere is, because we don't
fit into the box society wantsus to be in at all times.
Emily (08:34):
Yeah, but who wants to fit into that?
Matty (08:35):
I don't want to fit into that box.
Emily (08:37):
But I do know that it's very hard to live not wanting
to fit into the box whenthere is the box to fit into.
Oh, it is like this crazyconundrum that we all deal with.
But we can find ways to, tolive in this world and not have
to fit in and agree with andmold to society's standards of
(09:00):
what a good life looks like.
There are a million waysto have a good life.
Matty (09:06):
There might even be eight billion ways
to have a good life.
Emily (09:10):
Well, that's true because everyone can have their own
unique expression of that.
Matty (09:14):
Absolutely.
So tell me if I'm a personthat gets stuck in the,
"What's wrong with me?
Or why did I do that?"How do I flip the script?
Emily (09:26):
So start by asking yourself, how do I honor
my uniqueness that bestsuits my energy type, my
aspirations, and my desires?
So instead of trying tochange yourself to fit into
the box and fit into society,ask yourself, how can you
start to honor these things?
(09:47):
And of course, there aredefinitely laws and stuff you
absolutely want to abide by,but how can you live outside
of the box, but all, but it'sabout honoring your uniqueness.
Matty (10:01):
Beautiful.
I love it.
So take that focus and focuson how would I honor my own
uniqueness, my energy type?
I love it.
Emily (10:10):
Yeah.
Matty (10:10):
Cool.
I can do that.
I can flip the script.
Emily (10:13):
Can you do that?
Matty (10:14):
I can.
Emily (10:14):
I'd love to see that.
Let's honor.
Let's honor that beautifulenergy, uniqueness of yours.
Matty (10:20):
Yeah.
All right.
We're going to move on tothe number two, and this
is the why of others.
Why others did what they did.
When you're racking yourbrain trying to understand
the motivations of otherswithout actually asking them
or talking to them about it.
In other words, you'reoverly speculating on the
(10:40):
why of someone else whenwe can't really ever know
the why of someone else.
We can try to understand,we can analyze a situation,
we can talk to them, askthem, why'd you do that?
What makes you tick?
But, you can't really, trulyknow why, unless you're them.
(11:05):
And the same goes, no onecan truly understand your
why, even when you tell them.
They still have their ownperspective, and they're hearing
the words you're telling them,through their perspective.
You just can't fully, 100percent know someone else's why.
And this is one thatruns deep for me.
I have given so much time andenergy to the why of others.
Emily (11:30):
Yes.
So have I.
Matty (11:31):
Instead of just
Emily (11:33):
letting it be what it is.
Matty (11:35):
Oh my God.
Yes.
I mean it's one thing to analyzelike, Hey, this happened.
I feel like this about theseevents, but I've learned to not
continue to keep losing timeto like their why and to try
to fully understand where theycame from and why they did that.
Because I understand now that Ican't ever truly know their why.
Emily (11:57):
Yeah, I honestly feel like the work in the Akashic
Records, working with SoulEnergy has helped kind of
reinforce how, how much wewill absolutely never actually
know what it's like to bein someone else's shoes.
There's just so many factors atplay and it's just impossible
to know exactly wheresomeone else is coming from.
(12:20):
If you even have one personin your life that you even
think that, you know, youhave that connection where
you even have some sort ofsemblance of where they're
coming from and they get you,then that is like a miracle.
Matty (12:35):
Thank you for being that person, honey, since
you're bringing that up.
I appreciate that I got you.
Emily (12:42):
It's my pleasure.
So how do you flipthe script on this?
How do you stop focusing onother people's motivations
and the why of others?
Matty (12:52):
Well, I think if you find yourself really ruminating
about it and really speculating,then one of the first things
you have to do is askingthem about their motivations.
Like give them a chance to tellyou if this is really important
to you, but you also got toknow there's a line of that may
be none of your business too.
So you kind of got toread the situation.
(13:13):
You know, it might be differentwith a really good friend
or your life partner or yourkids or something like that.
But you know, for otherpeople, you just, you kind
of have to feel that out.
And if all else fails, you gotto let go of the desire to know.
To just chalk it up,that not everything in
this life can be known.
Especially when it comesto someone else's why
(13:34):
and their perspective andwhere they're coming from.
So if you find yourselfruminating and speculating a
lot on what other people aredoing and why they're doing
it and not how you feel aboutit or how it's affected you.
I would try asking them or just,which is really the best for me
has been getting to the point ofletting go of the need to know.
Emily (13:56):
Yeah.
Being okay with not knowing.
Matty (13:59):
There, that's a nice way to put that.
Being okay with not knowing.
Emily (14:03):
So let's move on.
So the third way that a focusenergy can be drained is
by basically getting reallyworked up and pissed off
about things that you haveno desire to help change.
And It is important to notethat you are only one person
(14:24):
and therefore can onlydo so much in this world.
And so we have to, ashuman beings, accept our
limitations for what we canaccomplish and what we cannot
accomplish in this lifetime.
And so if you are constantlyjust pissed off about politics
or your boss and you'rejust constantly pissed off,
(14:47):
you bring everyone into it,that's all you talk about.
You're just constantly pissed.
Then, you are definitelydraining your focus energy away.
So, a couple things you cando is you can either figure
out, Hey, this is somethingthat's very important to me.
Obviously, I wouldn't bepissed off about it this much.
And actually dosomething about it.
(15:08):
But if you have alreadydecided that you are not going
to do something about it.
You are not going to startrunning for some sort of
office to help in politics.
Or you're not going to quityour job then you are definitely
draining your focus energy.
You are definitely justspewing it out all over
everyone else and you arenot helping yourself at all.
Matty (15:31):
There's a, a bit of a conundrum here
because you really aredraining your focus energy.
It is unempowering, but beingmad feels empowering at times.
Emily (15:43):
Mm, that's true.
Matty (15:44):
I used to have that mixed up where I thought my,
my righteous rage, my angerabout something and how dumb
this is and why can't peoplejust see what blah blah, blah
and I would just get into it.
Like, I thought that that waspowerful because I'm emoting
out loud and I'm complainingand arrh, I didn't realize
(16:05):
how much that used to drainme in when I was younger.
Emily (16:09):
Well, it is powerful because it does release
all of these differentthings in your body.
I mean, it releases adrenaline,it releases cortisol,
it releases dopamine.
All of these things feelgood, and I say that in
quotes, but you're reallyjust keeping yourself, you
know, down and in this crazycircle of pissed off edness.
Matty (16:31):
Which is losing your energy in the end.
Emily (16:33):
Exactly.
And it's basically justkeeping you in fight or
flight and your body in thistense feeling at all times.
And then you are unableto, I mean, it's basically
an addiction, really.
Because you do haveall of those hormones
pumping through your body.
Those are hormones, right?
Dopamine?
(16:54):
No.
Neurotransmitters?
Matty (16:56):
But adrenaline and cortisol are hormones.
Emily (16:58):
Okay.
Matty (16:59):
Or they're coming, yeah, coming from the adrenal glands.
Emily (17:01):
Yes, so you've got these hormones pumping through
so you're feeling good.
But you're not really feelinggood because you're just
keeping your body in thisfight or flight and it keeps
you from actually beingable to relax and feel good.
So, if you find yourselfdoing this, God only knows
I've been there and I havedefinitely spent many many
(17:24):
years trying to work on this.
Really trying to find morestillness and peace within
my own body, not keepingmyself all riled up over
things that I'm not willingto jump in and help change.
Matty (17:38):
Like tell your boss off and quit and
go find a different job?
Yeah.
I mean, wow, that one got me.
I would just stay mad andstay in that pattern and feel
powerless to change it andnot do anything about it.
Yeah.
That one in particularfor me, big time.
Emily (17:56):
So the most obvious way to flip the script is to
actually make a commitmentand help change these things.
But like I said, you'reonly one person, you
can't change everything.
You can only do somuch as one person.
So if it's something thatyou've decided that you are
not going to take part in toactually be the change you want
(18:20):
to see, then you can benefitfrom a huge perspective shift.
So if it's, for example, likewe talked about, you want to
tell your boss off and you wantto quit, but you know, you're
not going to do that right now.
I mean, you can startputting forward the motion.
Start looking forsomething different.
Start looking for a way toget out of that situation.
(18:44):
But if that is not ideal foryou, which there's so many
reasons why it may not bethe most ideal for you, then
start trying to look forthings to be grateful for.
Start trying to focuson bettering your
situation or yourself.
Matty (19:00):
Replace pissed off with gratitude.
Emily (19:03):
Yes or just a higher purpose.
I have a good example of this,like when I was waiting tables,
oh my God, I was just so fuckingover it, like, for so long.
But, I developed this plan,Matty and I got together
and we developed this plan.
Alright, we're gonna startsaving up money, and we're
gonna pay off our debt.
Like, that was the plan.
(19:25):
And so, even though I was, itlike pissed me off to be at
work, I was able to flip thescript because I was so focused
on getting myself out of debt.
Starting to save moneytowards things that we
really wanted to do.
And just being able to flipthat script, like, really
helped me go to work andcome home every single day.
(19:48):
And then I tried tofind more gratitude.
Okay, well, at least I'm able topay off my debt with this job.
At least I'm able to save money.
At least I'm able to go tothis concert or like whatever
it is for you that, you know,makes you a little happier.
Makes you feel a littlebit more grateful about
your position, start there!And then you can work your way
(20:09):
up to finding more gratitudeand more gratitude, or a higher
purpose for what you're doing.
Because it could be a bridgeto something different.
And that's okay.
Matty (20:21):
That's totally cool.
Emily (20:23):
Yeah.
But it's about finding thathigher purpose and where
you are now to get youto where you want to go.
Matty (20:30):
Sometimes the best way to get to where you
want to go is a bridge or acouple of stepping stones.
Yep.
Absolutely.
It's not always directly A to B.
Sometimes it's A toD and there's a B and
a C step in between.
Totally.
Yeah.
That's a good point, babe.
All right.
So let's move on.
We're going to go to numberfour, which is trying to
(20:50):
help someone that doesn'twant to be helped and isn't
willing to help themselves.
You're putting your focusor your energy into how
someone else needs to change.
Emily (21:00):
Or putting all your energy into solving their
problem when they're not puttingany energy into it whatsoever.
Matty (21:07):
And I have been big time guilty of this.
And it's my kindness,my big heart.
I just wanted to help people.
Emily (21:15):
I mean, I think it does come from that place.
It does come from a, you seesomeone suffering and you're
like, Oh, they need help.
So obviously I'm the onebecause I can see this in
them, but they don't want it.
Are they asking you for help?
If they're not asking youfor help, they don't want it.
You can't force helpon someone else.
And it's just not reallycool to expect someone
(21:38):
like expect someone else tochange just because you think
that they need to change.
People will only changeif they want to change.
Matty (21:45):
Well, I think flipping the script in moments like this
is asking yourself are theydoing things to help themselves?
And then, can Ibe a part of that?
Do they want me tobe a part of that?
Are they even asking for help?
One thing for me, and youkind of hit on this, but I
had to learn like, Who am Ito decide someone needs help?
(22:06):
Was it just my big heart andkindness, or did somehow I
think maybe I was in a betterplace and I could extend help
when I'm in no better place orworse place than anyone else.
We're all just in our place.
We're in our process.
We're in our growthand our learnings.
We're in it.
That was one for me thatkind of helped flip the
script was who am I todecide that they need help?
(22:30):
I can offer it.
They can ask for it, but thatwas, that was a tough one.
Emily (22:36):
I actually carry a lot of guilt and shame around this
one because I do, I can seethat someone else is suffering
and I just want to be thereand I want to help them.
But they didn't ask for myhelp and they didn't want my
help and so therefore it reallycauses tension with people.
If you walk up to someone andyou're like, Hey, you obviously
(22:59):
need my help and then tryto push your help on them.
It is not a good place to be.
Matty (23:05):
I've pissed people off trying to be helpful
because they didn't think theyneeded help in a situation.
Yeah, absolutely.
Emily (23:16):
Yes, me too.
And, and I feel bad aboutit because I see the higher
perspective now and I see thatI was trying to force help and
change on them when that is notwhat they wanted for themselves.
And that can be veryfrustrating, especially if
you're with a partner whodoesn't want to change.
(23:36):
And you're like, but, but ifyou just did this, this, and
this, then you could ease allthis suffering in your life.
But sadly, it's not your place.
If someone wants tochange, they will change.
Unfortunately,that's the only way.
I mean, I say for fortunately,and unfortunately,
unfortunately, if you're someoneelse seeing someone suffer
(23:59):
because you want to be ableto do something to help them.
But if someone wants tochange, they will change,
and that is the only way.
Matty (24:07):
They will put efforts in changing their own life,
even if the effort is, andthis is hard to do too, is
to realize you need help.
To actually, you know,get to that point and be
like I'm in over my head.
I need help here.
I don't see the way out.
I need my friends.
I need my family.
I need somebody in my life,you know, to, to help me here,
(24:30):
to bounce some ideas off of,to get some new perspective.
I need to ask for help.
So just because from a placeof integrity, from a place of
love and kindness and your bigheart, that you want to help
somebody and you recognize it,that they need help, that you
could be of assistance to them.
It doesn't mean that thatmakes it right for them too.
(24:52):
You're there and you're readyto help, but if they're not
ready to accept and wantingit and to put in a little
effort themselves, then notmuch is going to change.
And it may actually createa worse situation for you.
So if you're someone thatis trying to help people
that don't want help.
Emily (25:08):
Start focusing on yourself.
Matty (25:11):
Yeah.
Focus on yourself.
Emily (25:14):
And tell them that you will be there for them if
they need something, but youcannot force your help or you
can't force someone to change.
Take it from me, I'vepissed a lot of people off.
It's that channel ofjudgment that I've got.
Human design.
Matty (25:33):
Yeah.
Gate of Correction.
Emily (25:35):
Oh, Gate of Correction.
Yeah.
That's what it is.
But it's the channelof I can't remember the
full channel's name.
Matty (25:42):
This is one of those energy makeup things that
Emily and I both have, andit just means you can usually
see when something's off.
And can lend assistance witha thought or an idea or, you
know, an actual helping hand.
But just because you can seeit doesn't mean it's right
for someone else or they'reready or they even want it.
Emily (26:03):
It is called the channel of judgment.
18-58.
Matty (26:06):
Yeah.
Emily (26:08):
All right.
So moving on.
I think we've verymuch reinforced that.
Matty (26:15):
Yeah.
That was the other onefor me in this list that
I've been super guilty of.
Not guilty, there's nothingwrong with wanting to
help people, but just thatI've been caught up and
lost so much energy in.
Emily (26:28):
And trying to solve someone else's problems,
but they don't want tosolve it themselves.
Matty (26:32):
And ignoring issues with myself or even overly trying to
help somebody to the point thatI created problems for myself.
Because I overgave on money ormy time and then I wasn't doing
what I needed to do for me ordidn't have the funds to take
care of something I needed.
Like Emily said, we're goingto move on to another one.
(26:55):
And this is one, I thinkevery single one of us
have wrapped ourselves upin it sometime or another.
Emily (27:02):
Oh yeah.
Matty (27:03):
And that is focusing on things that don't really
matter is one way to put it.
Spending way too muchtime trying to decide on
something that's a littlebit more trivial like what
show to watch on Netflix.
What are we gonna eatfor dinner tonight?
What clothes am I gonna wear?
Emily (27:19):
Yeah
Matty (27:20):
These things matter in the sense that
you gotta feed yourself.
Emily (27:24):
And you want to look good.
Matty (27:25):
Yeah, it's acceptable to wear clothes in society.
I think most of societyprefers that we do.
You know, and a littleNetflix and chill is, or
whatever your little winddown time is, is good for us.
But, not every decision hasto be the perfect decision.
This movie, this meal,this outfit's gonna make
(27:48):
or break my life and I havedefinitely spent time on
things like it would have.
That is for sure in my life.
Emily (27:56):
Yeah.
I don't even feel likethere's too much more we
really have to say on thisone because I think we all
know what we're talking about.
I think that we all knowthat there are places where
we maybe take longer to makedecisions than, than we could.
On the trivial things, ifit's important and something
really important, of courseyou want to take time.
(28:18):
And of course you want tohave your focus towards
making that decision.
But the trivial stuff, justtry to decide a little faster.
Matty (28:30):
That would be the easiest thing, I think, to
flip the script is to ifyou're literally getting down
between a couple of thingsand ruminating on which one's
the best, like, flip a coin.
If you and your partnerboth want to watch
something different, rock,paper, scissors for it.
Find ways to just make thesedecisions and let it be okay,
and then, you know what?
You got your movie tonight,I get mine the next time.
(28:52):
Try to make yourdecisions faster.
Have fun with it if you can.
Don't keep racking yourbrain and losing time to just
things that are more trivial.
I can't tell you what's trivial.
I mean, we tried to come upwith a few examples for you,
but you know, what's trivialin your life and what's not.
Emily (29:10):
Yeah, for sure.
Matty (29:12):
Save your focus energy for the important things.
For the things that matter,for the things that really
light you up and nourish youand nourish your heart space.
That's a better wayto focus your energy
and serve it for that.
Emily (29:27):
Moving on.
So number six is ruminatingabout the past without any
real desire to find thehigher learning from it.
So I do think it's veryimportant when memories come
up from your past, I think thatit is important to review them.
Maybe think about thesituation, think about why it's
(29:50):
coming up, but if it's justconstant rumination over and
over, why did they do this?
Why did this happen?
Why did this happen to me?
There is a lot of victimhoodmentality in that if you're
constantly trying to Thinkabout past situations over
(30:11):
and over and over withoutever trying to find any kind
of higher learning for whythis memory keeps popping up.
Or what is so importantabout this situation.
And it could be that thispattern keeps resurfacing in
your life over and over and sotherefore these past memories
keep coming up and withoutany kind of higher learning
(30:35):
or realization like, Oh, thisis why this keeps coming up.
This is why this memory keepspopping up is because I'm
literally in the exact samesituation that I was then.
So this is really more aboutif you're not willing to look
at any kind of higher learning,it's just constant rumination.
And a lot of times there's alot of blaming energy with this
(30:57):
too, if you're not willing tosee the higher learning from it.
Matty (31:00):
And it could be stuff like, my life was so good when.
Emily (31:05):
Oh, totally.
Matty (31:06):
It's not always, you know, negative things.
Emily (31:08):
It's not always about the blaming, yeah.
Matty (31:10):
It's just your nostalgia, you just keep longing for
something in the past.
It's basically keepingyou out of the present.
So you're constantlyruminating about the past,
or maybe even the future.
You're constantly thinking ofthings, but like Emily said,
when it's literally stuffthat have happened to you,
there's a point behind it.
It's not random that thesememories keep popping up.
(31:34):
And when we don't learnfrom things, and we
don't grow from our lifelessons, patterns repeat.
But the players inthe patterns change.
Where you're at changes.
You're a different person,so it can't be the exact same
thing that happened to you,but the energy underneath
it it will be the same.
And this is what we'regetting at on looking for
(31:55):
those higher learnings.
Emily (31:56):
Yeah, but I really appreciate that point that you
brought up because that wasn'tsomething I was thinking about
when I was making these notes.
But yeah, if you're constantlylike, Oh, high school, those
were the good days or college.
I'll never have gooddays like college again.
I mean, if you're constantlyjust ruminating on that,
then you're basically keepingyourself stuck from ever
(32:16):
having a good time again.
I mean, we allchange, things change.
You know, if you're in your40s, like we are, you're not
in your college age anymore.
And I mean, thank God I'mnot still doing the things
that I did in college.
I mean, I feel like almostevery part of my life, I can
be like, yeah, there were somegood parts, but there were also
(32:39):
some really shitty parts too.
Matty (32:41):
Oh, you mean life was all the things?
Yes.
Life was ups and downs, right?
Exactly.
Emily (32:48):
So, it is interesting when people are like,
Oh, I miss those days.
Those were the days.
It's like, you know what?
Create those days now.
Create something to be proudof, create a wonderful time now.
Matty (33:03):
And the other thing I would offer, too,
on flipping the scriptis not attaching to it.
You know, if you're havingthose were the days.
It keeps popping up.
Don't attach to it, becauseif those were the days, then
today can never be the day,and tomorrow surely can't be.
So don't attach toit being in the past.
(33:23):
Be like, hey, man, those days,those memories are awesome.
That was a lot of fun.
And then, how can you createmore of that in your life now?
In a way that suits youruniqueness and where
your energy's at now.
How can you make today the day?
And if it is things that feelslike a pattern that's repeating
(33:43):
and you're having memories comeup that are more challenging,
then look for the connection.
Don't attach to it.
Oh, what's wrong with me?
Here we go again.
I'm thinking about this again.
No.
Why is this coming up?
What is it about that that mightbe trying to show me something
about my life right now?
(34:04):
Find that awareness.
Get that higher perspective.
Because if you can get that ahaand that learning, then you can
start to take the power back.
Then you can start toshift your present reality.
And then you canovercome that challenge.
You can nip thatpattern in the bud.
You can move into newpatterns, new challenges.
(34:26):
Because on the otherside of this is growth.
And then life up levelsand gives you something
new to experience.
Emily (34:34):
And I feel like that's a really good segue to the next
one, because if you are livinga life of growth, there will
be times in your life where yourealize that you've outgrown
where you are, and it can turninto what we think is a big one.
And our number seven on thislist is complaining and bitching
(34:56):
about life and circumstances.
And, like Matty said, if you're,if you're in this life and
you're on the growth plan likeI feel like a lot of us are.
Matty (35:08):
We all are.
Well, we all are.
That's one of thoseuniversal laws of being here.
We're all on the growth plan.
We just don't all acceptthat we're on the growth
plan and learn fromour life's experiences.
I mean shit.
I used to read I didn'tknow about that notion, but
I would have rejected it.
I'm not here to grow, whatever.
(35:28):
I'm here to just live lifeand experience and have fun.
Emily (35:34):
And for the listeners, we are, we are talking about
growing up as in gettingolder, but we are talking
more so being on the growthplan as like evolved.
Like, I don't even know ifevolution is the right word.
It's just.
Learning from your experiencesand gaining that awareness.
Matty (35:52):
Changes you, you become a different person.
You're growing.
Emily (35:58):
Yes.
Growing as a person,becoming more wholesome.
Matty (36:01):
Yeah.
More well rounded.
Emily (36:03):
As a synonym for growth.
Matty (36:06):
Yeah, I feel like, I mean, it's, it's evolving, but
I feel like when you say theword evolve or evolution, people
think of climbing a ladder.
Each rung is I'm better.
I'm better.
I'm growing.
I'm getting better.
I'm climbing this ladder.
I'm going to get to the topand reach the top and then
there is no top to that ladder.
But true soul growth is reallyjust being in like the middle
(36:28):
of a hamster ball that'sclear and you're just moving.
Growth is movement andlearning from your experience.
And as you move around,you realize like, Oh,
actually, if I go in thisdirection, I flow easier.
And then I got to turnhere and then turn
there and I keep moving.
But you may have to backpedal.
You may have to like, you know,climb back down that ladder.
(36:50):
Heck, you may have to jump fromthat one to a different one.
It's not this, I'm gettingbetter and better and better.
Yeah, there's no hierarchy.
Growth isn't that way.
There is no hierarchy.
Exactly.
Growth is just learning fromyour experience and however
you take that in and it worksfor you, you've expanded your
awareness and the realityof who you are, of what
you can do, of what you canovercome, what you can achieve.
(37:14):
That's growth.
Emily (37:15):
Totally.
Expanded awareness.
That's a good way to put it.
So number seven,complaining and bitching
about life circumstances.
I mean, we all have beenthere, but the thing is, is
that people get stuck in this.
They get stuck complaining,they get stuck bitching, and
they don't do anything about it.
(37:35):
They just constantly bitchto everyone they know, they
call people up, anyone whowill listen, and emotionally
just dump all over them.
And I mean, I say them, but us.
I mean, everyone, we allhave been guilty of this.
But this is something tobe really conscientious of
in your life if you findyourself in this moment,
(37:57):
because you probably will.
If you're on the growth plan,you will hit a point where you
have outgrown where you areand it's time to move forward.
So instead of sittingback and complaining and
bitching about where you are.
Or if you do startgetting there, then
realize, take notice.
(38:17):
Okay, it's time to make changes.
Matty (38:20):
I feel like from my life's experiences, and I do
think this holds true, thatoften when we're complaining
about things, I mean, there'sthird dimensional proof in
my reality that something'sfucked up, or this is
just bullshit, or wrong.
And there's something to likeactually complain about, but
it's attaching to it, andattaching to what's wrong
(38:43):
in our life or attaching to,you know, what might seem
chaotic and then constantlyputting our focus there.
And then, you know, whathappens is we bitch.
Emily (38:55):
And you create more of things to bitch about.
Matty (38:58):
Exactly.
What else?
If you're at the point whereyour focus is on what's wrong
and complaining and bitchingabout life and what's wrong,
well your subconscious mindis going to create more wrong.
More things for youto complain about.
More chaos in your life.
And what's really happeningis you've probably gotten to
(39:18):
a point where you've eithergrown to a point that you've
outgrown your circumstances.
Or you've deviated off ofyour growth plan so much
that life is trying to coursecorrect with you, for you.
Life happens for us.
It doesn't happen to us.
So if you find that lifeseems really chaotic or that
(39:40):
you're catching yourselflike, whoa, I'm, I am, there
is a lot to bitch about inmy life and I am complaining
a lot and I feel justified,but I am doing it a lot.
So why is my lifegoing like this?
What could I, is theresomething I could change?
Have I outgrownmy circumstances?
Is my boyfriend orgirlfriend, is it, is it over?
(40:03):
And is this job done for me?
Do I need to moveto a different city?
What's going on?
Like, there's a reasonthat life is like this.
You've either outgrown it oryou need a course correction.
Like chaos is chaotic and crazyand kind of fucked up, but it's
also the harbinger of change.
(40:24):
And if you've got chaos in yourlife or things to complain and
bitch about, flip the script.
Start asking yourself whythis is going on and what
you could do about itand what is it trying to
show you about your life.
And we talked about thisearlier, this is a really good
point to take a breath and findanything you can be grateful
(40:45):
for in your life and focus onwhat you can be grateful for.
And less on what is chaoticor the things that you are
actually complaining andbitching about, even if there's
proof that they're rightthere and you feel justified.
Nip, nip this energy in the budand nourish yourself with some
gratitude and then try to figureout why this chaos is happening.
(41:05):
Because it's a signal.
It's a big signal.
Emily (41:09):
Yeah.
But I do think it's importantjust to mention that if you
do find yourself complainingabout your life and your
circumstances, then moving intogratitude is not this like,
all right, light switch whereyou just like flip it over.
It's literally any time youcatch yourself falling back
(41:29):
into that complaining or thatbitching mode, then that's
when you remind yourself, Ohwait, just try to start finding
things to be grateful for.
It's a, it's a constant reminderand a constant practice.
This isn't like somethingyou just, Should be
amazing at at first.
At first go, oh goodness.
It's like you literally,you literally like catch
(41:50):
yourself in the moment andyou're like, you know what?
No, this is not howI want my life to be.
It's okay to bring awarenessto the fact that you're not
exactly where you want to be inthis moment, and that's okay,
but just start trying to findanything to be grateful for.
I'm grateful that I'm breathing.
I'm grateful that I hada delicious meal today.
(42:13):
I'm grateful that Idrank lots of water.
I'm grateful that I madetime to read something that
I love or journal aboutsomething important to me.
Or I took a walktoday in nature.
I pet on my puppy.
Like anything.
And this is when, thisis a constant reminder.
(42:35):
This is where you startbringing more gratitude,
more things to be gratefulfor in your life because
you start focusing on those.
Matty (42:42):
And when you're not attaching to things,
you get to observe what'shappening in your mind,
what's happening in your life.
This is how you cancatch, like Emily says,
it's a constant reminder.
You catch yourself in a modeof complaining and bitching
about something and you nip itin the bud and you try to find
(43:03):
anything to be grateful for.
And, I mean, when I firststarted practicing this, I had
to do that, like, all the time.
Many, many times in a day.
I would just be like,nope, stop, stop, stop it.
Okay, I've eaten twice today,I'm really grateful that I
was able to feed myself twice.
Hey, I've, I've got awork shift coming up.
(43:24):
I'm grateful I get to go inand have an opportunity to
earn money and keep food in myfridge and a roof over my head.
Whatever it was, I have a car.
I've got clothes.
I've got parents that I don'tsee often, but they love me.
Hey, I've got my two bestbuddies in this town.
I don't get to see themenough, but man, when we do,
(43:46):
we share laughs, and I surelove them and they love me.
Whatever you can find to begrateful for, small things,
big things, any things.
Flip that script.
And I will say, too,life only sends
what we can handle.
We're challenged at thelevel of intensity with
(44:07):
what we can handle.
So if it feels like a lot inyour life, like it's too much,
like this is so much, likethis is a lot, like you don't
fucking understand it's a lot.
Well, it's because you havethat same level of intensity
of potential within you.
That's why life isthrowing so much at you.
(44:28):
That's why it feels like alot because within you is
the answer, is the energy toovercome, is the ability to
observe with your mind, findnew awareness, ask the right
questions, put forth thededication of your energetic
(44:51):
resources and your focuson changing your life.
On achieving that goal.
And on the other side is growthand a higher perspective.
I used to get myself down,like, I don't know if I
can handle this, I don'tknow if I can handle this.
Until I realized that, and Istill get afraid of things, I
still have my fears, I stillam challenged by what life
(45:13):
throws at me and what I needto do or what I want to do.
But understand that if it'scoming at you, you got this.
You absolutely have got this.
I'll get off my soapbox now.
Emily (45:29):
No, I think that's great.
I think that wrapsit up perfectly.
And brings us to ourchallenge for the new year.
This is definitelysomething that we are
going to be doing as well.
And it's something that wejust wanted to throw out
there as a challenge to you.
You to take time and thinkabout what are your, what
(45:52):
is most important to you?
What are your goals?
What are your aspirations?
And pick three or less thanthree, one, two, or three
at the most, but try don't,don't pick a whole bunch
of things because you don'twant to scatter your focus.
And so pick no morethan three things.
These can be big or smallthings to focus on that align
(46:17):
with your goals and aspirationsand your values, and that
are very important for you.
And so this is athree month challenge.
And it's just to bring awarenessto your life as to where you are
putting your focus energy on.
And to focus more energy onthese things that you decide.
(46:39):
And so, for an examplewe came up with a short
list of our three things.
And our first one is onethat we have basically been
thinking about and planningand, I mean, for years now.
Which is teaching people howto access the Akashic records.
(47:00):
And we really want to geta class up and running.
We really want to start it soon.
I mean, we couldn't really bemore excited about this course.
Matty (47:11):
About offering other people the opportunity to
access the Akashic Records andto mentor and guide them along
their journey of connectingdeeper with themselves.
Emily (47:22):
And create more magic in your life.
Matty (47:24):
Being able to find that divinity within, work with
your Akashic Record guides onanything and everything that's
coming up in your world, like.
Emily (47:35):
I mean this is a lifetime skill.
This is a forever skillthat once you learn you
will have it forever.
Matty (47:44):
It's taken my intuition to incredible heights.
Emily (47:48):
Yes.
Matty (47:49):
And not only that, but my trust, which I think is
one of the hardest things whenpeople are really trying to
get an intuitive space and bereceptive and open is trusting.
And being able to havemethods in a way to access
your own soul's record,to access exactly what you
(48:11):
need on your path of growth,it's helped me tremendously.
And I'm super excited to,here soon, be able to offer
this mentorship and thisguidance up to others.
And this is like Emilysaid, something we've been
having on the back burner.
We work out a littlebit here and there.
And I remember even thinkinglike losing my focus to,
(48:32):
when I feel like I've gotenough experience, I can't
wait to teach people.
And instead of just realizing,Oh, I am that guy with enough
experience to teach people.
So it's been kind of coolto review today's podcast
and realize like, Oh wow,this big goal of ours is
actually something that hasbeen in the plans and been
(48:54):
worked on here and there.
And I've actually lost alittle focus here and there,
dreaming about the futureinstead of just working on
the present more and more.
Emily (49:03):
Yeah, so if this is something that sounds
interesting to you, thatyou would like to know
more information on,please get into our world,
get on our mailing list.
Like, we were definitelygoing to be sending out
more information about this.
And we're hoping to launchsoon, hopefully at least the
first go starting hopefullythe beginning of February.
Matty (49:25):
Yeah, that's our aim.
Emily (49:26):
Yeah, February 1st.
So if that sounds good to you,then please get into our world.
We couldn't be moreexcited about this.
And the other two things.
Matty (49:38):
That's a really good segue for number
two on the list, which Iknow is really important.
Something you've beengotten the works to, if
you want to bring it up.
Emily (49:45):
Yes.
And you know, it's a smallergoal as far as the first
one goes but it is to starta monthly newsletter and we
really want to just keep peopleinformed about what's going on.
Different things that weare offering and start
doing a monthly channel.
Matty (50:05):
Channel channeling.
Emily (50:07):
Channeled message
Matty (50:09):
From the Akashic records.
Emily (50:10):
Yeah a monthly channeled message.
So we're gonna start includingthis channeled message within
our newsletter and have abunch of some other goodies.
So that is our second goal.
And then our third goal, Ifeel like hopefully will be
the easiest to accomplish.
Matty (50:26):
It better be the easiest to accomplish.
I think this is podcast episode22, if I'm not mistaken.
So we've been doingthis for a while.
I feel like I have the workflowdown, how we record, what we
use, where I upload it, howI edit, the time it takes.
Like I've gotten all thisdown into a pretty good flow.
(50:48):
I feel, I feel good about it.
But the one thing we haven'tbeen great about, and I
really want this, and Iknow you do too, is I want
a set day for recording.
I want this to be Thursday.
Our show comes out on Wednesday.
I want to record on Thursday.
There's plenty of time toget all the editing done.
It's not recording on theweekend, so if we want to go
(51:09):
snowboarding on the weekend, wego snowboarding on the weekend.
I'll edit on Monday becausewe've already recorded.
But this also means that nowI know, hey, we have to have
our notes done on Wednesdayfor our recording on Thursday.
So it really just helpsorganize things, but this is
something I've been craving.
And we're such feelers.
(51:31):
I work great when I have aschedule and I know what I
need to do, but I don't, Idon't do great on making it.
I'm just kind of like,yeah, we've got tomorrow.
Let's do tomorrow.
Or, you know, I'm feeling, yeah,I'm feeling the vibes today.
Let's record today.
So we really want to havea set schedule, get a
little more organized.
And this also allows us tobe spontaneous with other
(51:53):
things because I'm settinga schedule on the things
that are important to me.
Like how we've beentransitioning into
doing our HIIT trainingearlier in the day.
So we're ready for spontaneitywithin our workday.
We know what else we needto get done, but then we're
already ready because we'vetaken care of our needs.
(52:14):
So we set the days, we takecare of the podcasting needs.
It just allows for morespontaneity, which I'm
looking forward to.
So this should be theeasiest of the three to
take care of and we'll,we'll find out on Thursday.
Emily (52:28):
And so I feel like this could be a good place to end.
If you decide to accept thechallenge and start trying
to bring more awareness intoyour life and more mindfulness
to where you are focusingyour energy, I think a good
question that you can startasking yourself is, is what I
am doing right now getting mecloser or further from my goals?
(52:52):
Or your aspirationsor whatever it is.
I know goals and aspirationsare kind of similar, but
goals can be much smaller.
Aspirations are alittle bit bigger.
So is what I am doing rightnow, getting me closer or
further from these goals?
Matty (53:07):
And just be honest with yourself.
If it is, great.
If it isn't,refocus your energy.
Maybe that something is a littlebit more trivial in your life
and you could spend less focuson it and more on your goal.
This is going to be a bigquestion that's going to come
up a lot for me and I'm lookingforward to the challenge.
I'm looking forward tohitting all of our goals and
(53:28):
the excitement that awaits.
Well, setting forth somethingand then accomplishing it.
It's a good feeling.
Emily (53:34):
Check.
Check.
Check it off that to do list.
Matty (53:38):
Yep.
Well, thank you so muchfor joining us today.
Emily (53:42):
Yes, we very much enjoyed making this podcast
and we really hope that youwill join us on this challenge.
Matty (53:49):
And if you have any questions about focus energy
or things we're talking about,I always leave the email in
every show's description.
Hit us up.
If you have something elsethat you want to mention.
A different way that yourealize that we didn't mention,
because we just tried topick common things and stuff
we've gone through wherewe're losing our focus energy
(54:11):
and where you might be too.
It's all aboutbringing awareness and
shifting perspectives.
That's all we're trying to do.
And if you want to bring someawareness our way, we're
so down to hear your storyand what's going on in
your world and what yourexperience has been like too.
Because each of us contributesto the whole and every one of
(54:31):
us has valuable information,valuable experience, valuable
perspective to add to it all.
Emily (54:38):
Indeed.
Happy New Year!
Matty (54:40):
Happy New Year!
Emily (54:41):
Have a wonderful 2025.
Matty (54:44):
And we'll see you next week.
Emily (54:45):
Bye bye!
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