December 4, 2024 • 51 mins
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In this podcast [episode 18] Emily and I will be deep diving into specific beliefs about relationships that are ruining your life! The energy of your beliefs attracts others of similar or like beliefs into your life. The problem is that most of our beliefs are unconscious. When those unconscious beliefs are dualistic in nature it will cause undesirable results in your relationships.
Everything we want in life is ultimately our responsibility even when we are in a relationship. No one can give us what we are unwilling to give or do for ourselves. Looking within and doing the inner work is how we get better results in our relationships. Practice makes perfect. Every relationship is an opportunity to learn about ourselves and grow from the experience. And then do it again with someone else until it all clicks and both of us are willing to do the inner growth together so that amazing relationship we've been dreaming of and working towards is manifest.
Want to speed up the process of awareness of your beliefs that are getting in the way of a happy relationship? Tons of limiting beliefs about relationships come from the karma of past life experiences that are carried over into current lives. You can proactively seek guidance and explore your past lives and the energy still at play in your current life from them with past life regression. These sessions are richly textured, cool experiences, but also full of amazing potentials for healing and transformation. You'll also get to meet your spirit guide at the end and ask anything you want about your life. It's a double win. Find the root causes from past life and check in on your current life circumstances and challenges!
We want to personally invite you to have a past life regression session with Emily or myself so you can experience the amazing benefits. Are you ready for your own past life experience?
Past Life Regression and Spirit Guide Meeting with Emily or Matty
If you're resonating with our podcast and want an insider's scoop then you'll love our Newsletter. We dive into soul inspired topics. Offer guidance with Akashic Record channeled messages. Plus you'll get exclusive updates on offers and discounts like the February 2025 beta launch of our live online course teaching you How to Access your Soul's record in the Akashic Records.
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Loving Light,
Matty and Emily
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Matty (00:00):
Hello amazing souls and welcome to today's show.
Emily (00:04):
Hello, welcome back.
Matty (00:06):
We're gonna get into relationship beliefs
that are ruining your life.
We spent the last three weekstalking about past life energy,
past life regressions, and a lotabout the benefits of working
with these energies and goingthrough this therapy, but mostly
because of the fact that we havethese limiting beliefs that we
(00:29):
can carry over from the past.
So we want to kind ofkeep on the theme of
working with beliefs.
Emily (00:35):
Yeah, and I feel like these beliefs can come from
this life or past lives.
Matty (00:40):
Absolutely.
I just wanted to kind ofiterate that we're keeping
this theme of beliefs going
Emily (00:45):
Oh, yeah.
Matty (00:46):
I didn't mean to bring up the last three shows because
we're only talking aboutbeliefs from the past lives.
It's the idea herethat our beliefs are
creating our reality.
They're creating thesituations and the people
in our lives, especially theones that are closest to us.
Our life partners, ourlovers, are those kinds of
relationships is what we'regoing to talk more about today.
(01:09):
And these people are helpingus to see what it is in
ourselves, but we have to bewilling to look at our beliefs.
Not just look at someoneelse's actions or words
coming towards us.
But what are we attracting?
And if you're not willingto do that, you might just
think that your beliefsare ruining your life.
Emily (01:31):
I mean, some of these are even societal beliefs
that are just commonplace.
And so this is just a reminderto kind of look within yourself
to understand your beliefs.
What kind of reality thatyou are creating with them?
Matty (01:49):
Absolutely, anything and everything comes from your
willingness to look withinto ask yourself questions.
Hopefully you'rewilling to look within.
Check, check yourself.
Emily (02:01):
Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Thank you.
I felt like there wassomething missing when
I said, check yourself.
Shall we get started?
I know we have a lot to cover.
Matty (02:12):
Yeah.
I just wanted totake one moment.
Kind of a life update, butEmily just had her birthday.
She just had her birthday.
And thank you everyonefor all the well wishes
and blessings and happybirthdays you sent her way.
Emily (02:29):
Yes, that was so sweet.
Thank you so much.
I definitely felt the loveand feel so grateful to have
felt that and have all thosekind people, beautiful souls
wishing me happy birthday.
So thank you.
Matty (02:44):
All right, I'm ready to jump in.
Emily (02:46):
Let's do it.
Matty (02:47):
All right, well, belief number one.
Emily (02:51):
Ugh, this is so widespread and commonplace,
too, and reinforced throughmovies, through commercials,
through, I mean, maybe notcommercials because they're
not long enough, but definitelythrough movies, shows.
Matty (03:04):
It's romanticized.
It's fairytale.
It's made for TV and notthe reality of life itself.
And it's the beliefthat happily ever after.
I did the thing.
I got married.
I found the person nowIt's just kick back and
happily ever after, I don'thave to do anything else.
Emily (03:22):
I can just give up now.
Like magically your lifeis just gonna go according
to plan, but that is notthe way it works people.
It is very unrealistic becausethat is actually when the real
work begins in a relationship.
Because when you're withsomeone for long term, things
(03:45):
start coming up, and if youare in a safe space with
this person, you're goingto have trauma surface up.
It's like, oh, we've beentogether a year now, one year
trauma pops up, you know.
And then the longer you'retogether, the deeper the
traumas, not necessarily thedeeper the trauma from the
(04:06):
relationship, but I just meanlike things start boiling up
from your childhood, from yourpast, from your past lives.
Like these different thingsstart rearing their heads and
they happen from situationsthat you haven't been in before.
Matty (04:24):
That's the point I wanted to make right there is as we
live, change is a constant.
We are going to change,our experiences are
going to shift us.
They're going to createreactions within us as
we just live our lives.
And when you're committedto someone, you may see
things in them that youdidn't know was possible.
(04:46):
They may have reactions thatthey didn't know were possible.
Coming up from lifesituations, things that are
buried in the unconscious.
The real work begins thelonger you're together.
Happily ever after is a fallacy.
You can have a lot ofhappiness, and you can
stay together forever.
(05:07):
These things are verypossible, but we live
in a dualistic world.
There are gonna be ups anddowns, and there are going to
be challenges, and there aregoing to be amazing moments.
Absolutely.
Emily (05:20):
Yeah, and all too often, you find in relationships,
I mean, this happened to me,I know it's happened
to my friends.
Where they've been inrelationships, change is
inevitable, and then the personis mad because you changed.
You may even hear things like,well, you're not even the
same person I fell in lovewith, or, uh, you've changed.
(05:44):
Like it's an insult.
Like you're supposed to juststay in this box, the same
person you were exactly whenyou got married, or when
you got together, wheneveryou are documenting your
happily ever after startingand that's just unrealistic.
And it's not very fair tothe other person to expect
(06:06):
them to say the same.
If that's a belief that youhold, you know, as a listener,
then you may want to kindof reconsider and realize
that that is holding youback in your relationship.
If you're expecting for yourpartner to stay the exact same,
react the exact same way everysingle time, that's just, I
(06:31):
mean, the rules of energeticsmake that impossible to happen.
Matty (06:34):
Well, and I think that's where some of this happily
ever after is born from.
You're really happy in thismoment, in this time in
your life, and you don'tever want it to change.
And in some ways you may end upfeeling victimized, and that's
why you think the other personhas changed in a negative way.
And maybe they have, maybethe person they're becoming
(06:56):
isn't working for you.
But it doesn't necessarilymean that, it's a bad thing
or that change is bad.
Emily (07:04):
Or that they're bad for changing.
Matty (07:06):
Exactly.
I just like you to reconsiderthe notion of happily
ever after, unless you'rewilling to work for it.
And that means both of you.
Emily (07:17):
Yes, for sure.
Yeah, and I do feel likeI should bring up this one
thing that if you don'ttalk about things that
happen in your relationship.
And you start off not talkingabout things, and then you
begin to hold grudges, or youconstantly, like, bury things
under the carpet, like, Ugh,they did this thing, and it's
(07:40):
like you're just gonna continueto be mad about that thing.
And if you don't talk aboutit and find some way to, you
know, relieve the pressureof that grudge, then it's
going to stay there for theentirety of the relationship.
So if you are someone whorefuses to talk about things,
(08:02):
holds grudges, constantly keepsscore, those things are going
to build up to a very unhealthyand unhappy relationship.
I mean, those are thethings that are necessary to
have a happily ever after,but it's not happily ever
after and then it stops.
It's happily ever after andthen you have to work like
(08:24):
that's when the work begins.
The work on yourself, the workwith your partner, with the
communication skills, like thatis very important to have a
long term happy relationship.
Matty (08:40):
Yes, it is.
Well said.
Emily (08:44):
Thanks, wshould e go to number two?
Matty (08:46):
Let's do it.
Emily (08:47):
So number two is the belief that if
a relationship ends, itis considered a failure.
That is something that, I mean,I definitely felt that way.
I've definitely had allthese beliefs in the past.
And it's taken being in a longterm relationship to realize,
Oh, these are bullshit.
(09:08):
But, so if a relationshipends, It is not a failure.
Everything requires practice,including relationships.
And so if a relationshipends, that means that
you learned an importantlesson, I don't want that.
There's something about thatrelationship that I don't want.
(09:29):
And so when you enter into yournext relationship, you can say,
You can spot it right away.
I know that I don't want that.
And if that comes up again,you're like, nope, you can
get out quicker and go towardsthe things that you really
do want in your relationship.
We do live in this dualisticworld and oftentimes because
(09:49):
of that, you have to learn whatyou don't want in order to get
closer to what you do want.
Matty (09:57):
That's a big one.
Emily (09:58):
Yeah.
Because how do you know whatyou do want if you don't
know what you, if you don'tknow what you don't want?
I know that's like a tonguetwister, but sometimes
the lesson is, I don'twant that and that's okay.
Matty (10:14):
That's fine.
Let that be thelesson and move on.
Emily (10:17):
But that's not a failure, that's just a lesson.
Matty (10:19):
The only thing really at this point is when a
relationship ends is it's timeto do a little self evaluation.
If there are certain behaviorsthat you didn't like in the
other and that's why this ended.
If they ended it with you andtold you why, ask yourself
what in you, what created this?
(10:42):
If you have the belief thatall men just act a certain way
and that's how they are and youjust hope to find a good one.
And you attract a not good one.
You attract a man that just isa pig, he just acts that way,
just thinks his shit don'tstink because he's a man.
And doesn't treat you theway you want to be treated.
Well, what is it in youthat has a belief that
(11:04):
would have that there?
If you're holding the beliefthat most men act this way
and you just want to find agood one, well, that belief is
bringing someone into your lifethat might show you that belief.
So this is just a tinyexample of something
that could be there.
But if you can find thatbelief that has attracted
potential actions that youdidn't like within your
(11:26):
relationship that were a dealbreaker that you don't want
and you can shift yourself,then your next relationship
will teach you something else.
Because you've learned thatlesson, you've spotted that
belief whatever it may be thathas helped to create this.
But it doesn't mean thatit's a failure because a
relationship didn't work out.
It's just a chance to grow.
Emily (11:47):
For show.
So number threeTake it away, baby.
Matty (11:53):
The belief that your person should just
know what you need.
That they're the ones thatare going to meet your needs,
and they should just know.
And you're not going totake responsibility in
meeting your own needs.
So essentially you're expectingthem to be a mind reader.
And then you end up beingmad at them when your own
needs aren't being met.
Emily (12:13):
Yeah, I feel like this is a big one.
I've been guilty of it.
Matty (12:16):
Oh God, I've put this off on other people.
Emily (12:19):
Yeah, I definitely have too.
Matty (12:20):
Thinking that if they really loved me, they'd
just know what I needed.
Emily (12:24):
I mean, shit, how can you not know what I need?
Well, there are somereasons why someone else
cannot know what you need.
And that is, everyone'sneeds are different based
on their own personalexperiences and preferences.
And we can only comefrom our own perceptions.
Matty (12:45):
That's huge, right there.
We can never ever truly knowsomeone else completely.
We can be empathic, we canintuit, we can have feelings,
but someone else is them.
We only can come wherewe can come from.
And like I said, we may getsome guidance and we have
(13:07):
wonderful soul gifts and toolslike empathy and intuition
to help us along that way.
But we are coming fromour own perception, our
own experiences, when itcomes to try to understand
what someone else needs.
In the end, it, it's justyour best intuitive guess,
what might be good for them.
(13:28):
And if you're relying onsomeone else to make their
best intuitive guess on yourneeds, do yourself a favor and
just tell them what you need.
Tell them what works for you.
Emily (13:39):
And give them the chance to either meet it or not.
Just cut through the painand suffering of being
disappointed and resentfulall the time if you expect
someone to just read your mind.
Matty (13:51):
No one is a mind reader.
No one is truly going toknow exactly what you need.
And honestly, if you don'thave the communication,
you're probably not in asuper healthy relationship.
Communication is huge.
And being vulnerable andletting somebody know what you
(14:13):
need is a big part of that.
Emily (14:15):
And I mean, that's hard.
Sometimes it's hardto know what you need.
Sometimes you have anemotional response and
you're like, holy fuck, wheredid this even come from?
I don't even know.
I don't even knowwhat I need right now.
Or you could be like cryinguncontrollably and not even
know but that's okay too tosay I don't really know what
(14:35):
I need right now, but I canupdate you when I figure it out.
And someone who's willingto hold space for you
and to love you should beable to understand that.
Matty (14:48):
If you're willing to even say that to them, look I'm
unsure of what exactly I needright now, but I need you to
just be supportive of me in thismoment and that's that, and when
I have a better grasp on what myneed is or where this reaction
is coming from or why I feelthis way then I'll let you know.
I'd like to think that a lifepartner could be okay with that.
Emily (15:10):
Yeah,
Matty (15:11):
I would find it refreshing as opposed to
just be pushed away andhave someone have their
own emotional experienceand me wonder what it is.
Did I do something?
Is it about me?
Am I involved in this?
Are they having some sortof limiting belief or trauma
response from childhoodor a past life popping up?
Some energy felt similarand their unconscious mind
(15:33):
and ego went, screw thatright there, you know, so I
would accept that for sure.
It would just be refreshing,any communication.
I wasn't the greatestcommunicator,
Emily (15:46):
communicator.
Matty (15:47):
I wasn't the greatest communicator when I was younger
in relationships, but that stuffwas born out of my own lack of
self worth and self respect.
So I didn't quite know how to.
feel worthy of even gettingsupport from someone else
to help meet my own needs.
So I didn't do the greatestjob ever saying what I needed.
(16:09):
Especially when I wasconfused about how I was
feeling or what was going on.
I just buried it and stayedquiet and hoped it, hoped it
would just smooth itself out.
Yeah, it didn'treally work out a lot.
Emily (16:23):
I did the same thing except it would burst out
in emotional responses,like crazy amounts of crying
and being confused aboutwhat is actually happening.
Which kind of brings me toon the same note that you
must be willing to takeresponsibility in meeting
(16:43):
your own needs, especiallylike basic daily needs.
There are many times, I mean,especially before I started
exercising regularly, itwas like, I knew I needed
the exercise, but I wasn'twilling to give myself
that on a daily basis.
And therefore it was like, Iwould act out against other
people and be mad at them forlike, taking my time away or
(17:07):
how dare you make me go to workor, or just a number of things.
Like blaming other people formonopolizing my time when I
wasn't willing to stand strong.
This is what I need andmaking it happen for myself.
And I think that's reallyimportant for people to do.
(17:29):
If like, if you're someone thatneeds to exercise daily, then
make it happen for yourself.
Don't expect someone elseto make it happen for you.
Matty (17:38):
Being a willing participant in what's in your
own best interests is huge.
Just like on theopposite side of things.
You can't really ever helpsomebody if they're not
willing to help themselves.
So you can't expect somebodyto meet your own needs
if you're not willing todo some of the work, too.
Emily (17:59):
If you're expecting your partner to take care
of your basic needs, that iskind of something that you
can start stepping up anddoing for yourself and not
putting that on someone else.
Matty (18:11):
And you're disempowering yourself if you're expecting
them to take care of your needs.
All right, I really wantto move into number four.
Emily (18:20):
Yeah.
Matty (18:22):
Because this is one we hear, it'll sound very
familiar to you, as well.
Us coming from the South,we've heard it a bunch
at least, but it's thebelief that one and done.
You only get one soulmate.
You only get to be marriedone time, if it doesn't
work out, that's it.
You've had yourchance and no more.
(18:43):
And I don't know if thishas been so prevalent in our
lives because we grew up andwere raised in the Bible Belt
in the Southeast or if it'sprevalent all over the country.
Emily (18:57):
I'm not sure about that.
Matty (18:58):
But this is also something that's played up on
TV shows and things that you'reone true love, your soulmate.
And when you findthem, everything will
be happily ever after.
But souls don't get anopportunity to come to
earth and put all oftheir eggs in one basket.
(19:18):
And everything counts on, Idid all the things and made
all the right choices andso are they and that we're
gonna, we're going to nailthis and we're going to meet
up and then it'll be great.
And I'll have my soulmate.
It just isn't that way.
You make a plan, youmake a backup plan.
You make probably a hundredbackup plans, as a soul in a
(19:41):
light body, when you're thinkingabout what you want to come
here and what you want to tryto achieve and learn and grow.
And who you want to share yourlife with, who are going to
be your close friends, who'sgoing to be your lovers,
You know, you get to choosethese things ahead of time.
You get to choose your parents.
But then you havespiritual amnesia and
come here with free will.
You forgot the plan andthen you have free will to
(20:02):
deviate from the plan youforgot in the first place.
Are you kidding me?
One soulmate?
Uh uh.
It just, it isn't that way.
But I know that thereare soulmate connections.
I know that there aredeep connections and that
sometimes people's like plan1a work out and they meet
that person and it happensand it's probably amazing.
(20:25):
I feel like that workedfor me, but I know that
I did a lot of work.
I know that Emilydid a lot of work.
And I know we've done a tonof growth together to have
the relationship we have.
To have this deep loveand this bond of mutual
respect, trust, unconditionallove for each other.
Loving who we were because itshaped us into who we are when
(20:49):
we got together, when we met.
And loving who we'rebecoming without even
knowing who that is.
Like, we're on a path together.
Emily (20:57):
But we were much older when we got together, too.
Like, had you and I got togetherwhen we were 18, then I mean.
Matty (21:05):
I was a train wreck.
I was, too.
I'm so glad I didn'tmeet you when I was 18.
Although, you wouldhave been, like, 14.
Oh, yeah.
That wouldn't haveworked out, but.
Emily (21:13):
Well, if I were 18, then.
Matty (21:16):
But still, I totally agree.
Although, I wasn'tthat much older.
I'm glad we didn'tmeet back then.
When we did meet.
I, I needed to, I needed tohave a lot of relationships
and grow and practice.
Practice who I wanted to bein relationship and what I
wanted from relationship tobe able to be the man that
I wanted to be with you.
Emily (21:35):
And I had to do the same.
I had to have somebad relationships.
I had some fun relationships,but they weren't exactly
relationships meantfor the long term.
There was no, there was funtimes had, but there wasn't
that, I couldn't really trustor feel vulnerable and feel
(21:58):
accepted in it, you know, andthose things are very important.
Those are important thingsto me, but I never would
have known that those thingswere important if I would
have just latched onto thefirst guy that I ever started
dating and believed it washappily ever after from there.
Matty (22:16):
Yeah, I don't want to knock high school sweethearts,
but man, there aren't a lotof those that really work out
for the long term anymore.
Emily (22:24):
There are, there are some that do.
Matty (22:26):
There absolutely are.
Emily (22:27):
But it requires a tremendous amount of
communication and growth.
That is, actually, one of mygood friends, she and her high
school sweetheart, and theytried not to stay together.
But they just kept gettingpulled towards each other,
but I know it's takena tremendous amount of
communication and growth forthem to be together, still.
Matty (22:50):
Yeah, they're super cute.
Emily (22:51):
Yeah.
So it does work out.
It does, I think.
But I do think that when youget together at such a young
age, there is some of thesebeliefs that could be standing
in the way, especially if youexpect for your 18 year old or,
you know, 18 year old person tonever change and stay the same.
(23:12):
I mean, 18 year olds are, Imean, they know everything,
but they're idiots.
I mean, I knew everythingwhen I was 18, of course.
Really, 17.
Matty (23:23):
Yeah, I was gonna say, I knew everything a little bit
before I was 18, You know, my,after my younger twenties, I
started to figure out maybeI don't know everything.
And then by like 26, 27,I realized everywhere
I go, there I am.
Emily (23:39):
Oh shit, I don't know anything.
Matty (23:41):
I've tried to change everything on the outside
so many times and it keepsblowing up in my face.
I guess I might have tolook in the mirror and
decide what I need tochange in my inner world.
I might have to own up someof the responsibility because
it's hard to keep pointingthe finger at everything else
when you've had different setsof friends and bounced around
(24:03):
in different areas of theworld and had different lovers
throughout different areas ofthe, I said the world, but at
this point just the country.
Emily (24:12):
Hi.
Matty (24:13):
So the whole point of this number four, one
and done, one soulmate,that's just not the truth.
They're out there and theseconnections can feel deep.
And.
If you've ever noticed thatyou may have been deeply
in love with more thanone person in your life.
If you have, that rightthere should show you
(24:33):
that there's potentialfor love in other people.
It's not just with one person.
Even if those relationshipshaven't worked out, even if
you had a great love of yourlife and you're no longer
with them, there's alwaysthe potential for love.
We come for growth.
(24:53):
We come to learn our lessons.
We come to achieve certainthings in our life By being
here and experiencing beinga human, but sharing in
love, getting love, givinglove this is part of it.
And there's always achance if you're willing
to take the chance.
(25:14):
If you're willing toput yourself out there.
If you're willing to believe inlove, there's always a chance.
Emily (25:21):
Believe in love.
So number five.
This is a really big one andI feel like this happens a lot
when you, or when all of ushave gone through a traumatic
time in a relationship,um, two things can happen.
Either one, you make thebelief, or you take the
(25:45):
belief on that their actions,mean something about you.
This happens a lot whensomeone gets cheated on.
I've definitely been there.
It sucks, but you take onthe belief that they never
would have done that ifyou were someone different.
Or if you were a better personor this or that or worthy of
(26:11):
love or whatever, then theywouldn't have done that.
But the truth is, isthat you can't control
other people's actions.
Their actions havenothing to do with you.
Matty (26:21):
Sometimes other people are just a dick.
Emily (26:24):
Yeah, sometimes people are just dicks.
Matty (26:26):
And it wasn't about what you did or didn't do.
They just were a dick and didn'trespect you enough and cheated.
If it's cheatingthat has come up.
This doesn't mean that you're abad person or you're not worthy
of someone respecting you.
You may need to look inthe mirror and see if
(26:50):
you've attracted thissituation and needed
something to learn from it.
But other than that, don't,don't make it more than it is.
Like it.
It's more than likelythey're just a dick.
Emily (26:59):
Yeah, and if they don't respect you,
then that's on them.
That says everything about them,and it doesn't say anything
about you unless you make it.
So just remember, otherpeople's actions are
just that, their actions.
And they are responsiblefor their own actions.
(27:20):
And so another side of this kindof same coin is that you take
on the belief Or you generalizeone person's actions from one
time, and you make it across theboard and make it for everyone.
So, for example, if you werelied to once, you're like, Well,
everyone's a liar, so I cannever be in a relationship again
(27:41):
because I'll just get lied to.
Or, everyone cheats, soI'll just get cheated
on no matter what.
But you can't expecteveryone to be the same.
Matty (27:53):
Well, and if you hold a belief like that, how
do you ever expect to havea relationship that isn't
going to end up with beinglied to or being cheated on?
Emily (28:04):
Or the plethora of other things.
Matty (28:06):
Exactly.
But if those are thebeliefs you're holding, be
careful what you believe in.
Be careful on making ablanket statement across
the board, like Emily said.
Just because one personwas a dick, it doesn't
mean that everybody is.
There are anything andeverything under the
sun in the polarity andduality that we experience.
(28:30):
And, I mean, so manyshades of grey in between.
Of how people are and the levelthat they will treat you with or
respect that they're gonna have.
You know, just because oneperson did something doesn't
mean it's always gonna be thatway, unless you make it so.
Unless you take thatbelief on and make it so.
Emily (28:50):
Yes.
So other people's actionsare other people's actions.
They don't necessarilyreflect something about you.
Matty (28:59):
Wholeheartedly
Emily (29:01):
And so, the sixth one, I really got caught
up in this one, especiallywhen I was younger, and,
well, maybe even older too.
That everyone else is amirror to you and doing
self work is how youchange your relationships
with certain people.
Matty (29:21):
So, if you believe that the world around
you is mirroring to you,who and what you are.
And that your own selfwork is going to change
the relationship with them,it's unequivocally false.
You can't change other people,unless they want to change.
If you recognize something'soff in the relationship, and you
(29:44):
want, you're brave enough, anddeep enough to look within and
own your responsibility and, oryour beliefs that have created
this and that you're a part ofthis and want to make changes.
Well, then they need to, too.
To create true change.
And like self workis, it's so important.
(30:06):
Being able to do the innerwork, to look within and
to own your own stuff.
It's so necessary in this world.
And I don't think as awhole, the population
really dives in and looksat their own responsibility.
I can't speak for the entiretyof the world, but in America,
we're quick to point thefinger and blame others.
(30:30):
And push them away andnot look within at what
we're doing to, to helpcreate certain situations
within our relationships.
Emily (30:38):
And so a big thing about this is that if only one person
is doing this inner work tochange a relationship, then.
If the other person is notmaking any efforts to make the
relationship work or they're notwilling to do any inner work to
make the relationship better,then the relationship is never
(30:59):
going to be the relationshipyou want it to be with this
person, if they're not willingto do the inner work as well.
So you can't change arelationship by doing inner
work only on yourself.
That other person has tofirst realize, okay, yes,
something needs to change inthis relationship or I want
(31:20):
a deeper relationship too.
And they have to make thenecessary changes within
themselves in order to helpchange the relationship.
But one thing that you findis that if you are someone
who is willing to do theinner work, which if you're
listening to this, chances areyou are that type of person.
(31:41):
Then you can change how otherpeople react to you, but it
isn't always a positive thing.
So you can do this innerwork expecting, okay, I
want things to get better,you know, with my spouse or
with my significant other.
I want things to get betterwith them, so I'm going
to do all this inner work,but yet they're not willing
(32:02):
to do any inner work.
They will change how theyrespond to you because you have
done your inner work, but thatisn't always a positive thing.
I mean, it can be a positivething because it shows you
that your inner work isworking, but their reaction
may not feel like a positivething, because you can't
(32:22):
predict how they'll respond.
Matty (32:24):
Exactly, you, it may not be what you hoped.
Emily (32:27):
Yes.
Matty (32:28):
That's a better way of saying that.
By doing your own workthat you're hoping to shift
the relationship or changeand communications key.
And if you're communicating thatsomething's off and you want
to work to change things andthey're not working to change
things, then you pretty muchhave your answer right there.
They don't see itlike you see it.
(32:50):
And if you're still tryingto do inner work for
yourself, just to change therelationship, take a pause.
There's a slight bit ofmanipulation involved with that.
If you're doing something tocontrol someone else, to control
an outcome, to change something,even though your intention
may be a really good one, tohave a better relationship,
(33:12):
do it for yourself.
Do the inner work to changeyourself, to make things better
for you, to take responsibilityfor your needs, And see how
it shifts that outside world.
Emily (33:24):
Well, and I think another thing about this way
of thinking, if you're on theone side and you're like, okay,
obviously something's wrong.
So I need to continueto do inner, this inner
work, then you're going toconstantly be trying to find
something wrong with you.
You're going to constantlythink that there's something
wrong with you because therelationship isn't getting
better, if that otherperson isn't putting in the
(33:47):
effort for the relationship.
And then it's just likethis never ending cycle of
okay, well, there has to besomething else wrong with me
because it's not better yet.
And if you're there then Ivery much sympathize because I
have definitely treated a lotof relationships like this in
(34:09):
the past thinking okay, wellif I can just heal this one
more part of me, then this thisrelationship will get better.
Or if I could just keep healing,keep healing, but really it
amounts to does that otherperson, are they willing to try?
Are they willing todo the inner work?
(34:29):
Are they willingto heal for you?
Matty (34:33):
And I really think is we do our own inner work and
we change that the magnetism,the attraction, the energetic
properties, the resonanceof the relationship is going
to shift and people thataren't meant for you are
(34:53):
probably going to fall away.
And if you're unwilling tosee that or to let it go
before it happens, theremay even be a chaotic
event that brings this out.
So change can happen becauseyou're doing the work,
you're changing, you'retransformation, you're growing,
and you can't stay stuck andtransform at the same time.
(35:17):
Your world around you willshift, but it may not be
in the ways that you hoped.
So be willing to let yourtransformation play out.
You're doing good for you, andyou're taking responsibility for
your own needs, that's amazing.
Emily (35:32):
Yes.
Matty (35:33):
I applaud you.
Fuck yeah for you.
Emily (35:35):
Yes, absolutely.
Matty (35:36):
But understand that the ideas that you're
hoping for may not come tofruition in the way you see.
And that something may needto change so that kind of
relationship you truly want,but you're trying to see it
with the partner you havenow might be in the next one.
And that's okay.
It might be a little scary,but that's okay because that
(35:59):
deep love that you want mightbe around the corner if you're
willing to be open to it.
So do that inner work.
Emily (36:05):
And respect yourself enough to walk away.
Matty (36:08):
Yeah.
All right.
Number seven andthis is the last one.
We whittled them downto just seven for y'all.
But I hear this one andI have oh I've been so
guilty of this right here.
The belief that someone else,that another person can make
you happy or complete you.
(36:29):
That's a bitch right there
Emily (36:33):
Definitely been guilty of it myself, and I think
it kind of goes along withthe happily ever after like
oh If, if it's the rightperson, then everything will
just magically work out.
My whole life will just unfoldperfectly before me and that
other person can make me happyand they will complete me.
Matty (36:56):
We singled this one out because it is, I mean,
for me, it kind of plays alongwith thinking someone else is
going to take care of my needs.
And happiness is absolutely inneed of every single one of us.
I sure hope you want tobe happy and that you're
trying to be happy andyou're a willing participant
in your own happiness.
There is a pervasive beliefthat someone else will
(37:18):
make you happy, that that'strue happiness, that it
comes through relationship.
Emily (37:25):
Happiness comes from within.
Matty (37:27):
Exactly.
You have to be a willingparticipant in your
own happiness, first.
And then you can sharein that with another.
It could be even greater withanother, but if you're not
a happy person by yourself,you can't expect to be a
happy person just becausesomeone else makes you happy.
And it might workfor a little while.
(37:47):
You might be able to, you know,find some happiness, but again,
if you're not helping yourself,if you're not doing the inner
work on why you're not happywhen you're alone no one else is
going to truly make you happy.
They might have an action ora gesture that brings some
(38:07):
happiness or joy in your life.
But the true feeling, thesatisfaction that comes
with knowing you're happy,knowing you're okay,
that comes from within.
Emily (38:20):
Yeah, and I find this really interesting.
Barbara Brennan talks aboutin her book, uh, Core Healing.
She says, no demand, and she'stalking about like demanding
something from someone else.
Like you need to make me happyor you need to complete me.
So no demand can ever befulfilled because its own
(38:42):
nature is dualistic in thatit demands to have fulfillment
come from another person.
Because like we saidthese things these ideas
are an internal process.
These are things that canonly come from within.
Like, what does happinesseven mean to you?
(39:03):
How in the world couldyou even convey that to
someone else to, to, forthem to make you that way?
Because.
Matty (39:10):
If you have no idea what happiness is to you because
you're not happy and you'reneeding them to make you
happy and complete you, howcan you even communicate what
that is to you if you're notparticipating in it yourself?
Emily (39:23):
And coming from someone who has happiness as
one of their life lessons.
Happiness is not an easy task.
That's why it has to come fromwithin, because happiness is a
constant reminder, a constantfeeling to, to achieve.
(39:43):
And I definitely think thatI've had some past lives where
I was told, well, we don't justget, we don't get to be happy.
That's just not somethingthat our family gets to do.
And I've been really workingthrough these and I definitely
think that's part of why Ichose happiness as a life lesson
this time around, because.
(40:04):
That's something that I reallywant because I know that it's
something that comes from withinand is an internal process.
And I don't want to justmentally go into despair or into
hopelessness or, I mean, youknow, the plethora of things
that can happen when you aren'twilling to look around and be
(40:26):
grateful for what you do have.
So the idea that someoneelse can make you happy
is, it's just not true.
Happiness is aninternal process.
And it's something thatrequires the inner work.
Matty (40:43):
Someone else can add to it, but they
can't give it to you.
This is something I foundso very true in my own life.
And I know that the culturewe live in, buy, buy, buy,
dopamine hit, dopamine hit.
I mean, marketers andbillionaires with things to
sell you would just assumeyou'd be unhappy and think
(41:06):
that, well, this shirt willmake you happy or that game
won't have me, or this makeup,or that car, or whatever it is
that's giving you a short termdopamine hit and happiness buzz.
You know, realize thatthese are short term things.
(41:27):
That true happinesscomes from within.
Emily (41:29):
And that's just a lot of really unfair pressure
to put on someone else.
To be like, you, you don'tneed to make me happy.
Matty (41:38):
Yeah, the energetics of that is very pressuring.
If you're expecting someone elseto complete you, to make you
happy, more than likely, you'rejust going to push them away.
And I, I know that I'vedone that personally.
Emily (41:53):
Yes.
I mean, it's like you'relike on a freaking
circus ride or something.
What I guess, no, a fair ride.
Where it's like you're justspinning round and round.
I'm stewing in my ownunhappiness and pissed
at you because you'renot making me happy.
But how can you make, Imean, like if you think
about it, that's justkind of crazy to think.
(42:16):
Because what could someoneelse possibly do to make
your internal process andyour internal dialogue and
your internal belief gofrom being so unhappy to
just magically happy likeno one action can take that.
It takes continued work.
Matty (42:38):
Well, and if you're relying on someone else and it's
just these momentary things,this action that they were kind.
They said this, they did that.
Then you always need them tosay this or do that to give
you some sort of happiness.
And that's a lot of pressure.
Yeah.
Especially, you know, andI know when you're in the
(42:59):
courting phase and you'regetting to know somebody,
sometimes there's a littlebit more of those actions and
gestures that can take place.
But as some of that fades andyou've been relying on that.
It's just, it's unfair.
It just really is.
It's just super pressuring.
Like I said, I knowthat I've been guilty
of pushing people away.
And that was born of myown low self worth and
(43:22):
that I look to others to,to bring me happiness.
I looked outside of myselfbecause I wasn't giving
it to myself, but I didn'tunderstand that it was my
responsibility back then.
I just didn't.
So I did what a lot of us do.
I looked outside of myself.
I hoped somebody elsewould bring it to me.
I expected to be in arelationship that I would be
(43:45):
treated the right way and happy.
And my beliefs of notgiving it to myself and
expecting it from othersdidn't bring me happiness.
It brought me a wholebunch of circumstances and
relationships to try to makethat connection and I just
wouldn't learn the lesson.
So I was on repeat fora while in my life.
Emily (44:06):
Well, and that's a dualistic belief.
I just kind of wanted toreiterate that because this
is a dualistic belief, becauseif you are of the thought that
another person can make youhappy or whole or complete, then
that means that you can neverbe those things on your own.
And so that is dualistic.
You're reachingoutside of yourself.
(44:26):
And putting those thingson another thing, but
what you really want isto just have those things
yourself internally.
And so it's difficult tomanifest when you're of
dualistic thinking, becauseif you're constantly
expecting it from someoneelse, but you're not willing
to give it to yourself,then that's split energy.
(44:52):
That's going in twodifferent directions.
Matty (44:55):
Yeah, it's not working together.
You're going in twodifferent directions and it's
working against yourself.
Absolutely.
And, I mean, people believethat like attracts like when
we're living here on earth.
The same beliefs are goingto attract the same beliefs.
And if you have, let's just dosomething simple like, Okay,
(45:19):
if you have the belief thathumanity by nature is good.
That people are just goodpeople, and you know, we all,
we all fuck up sometimes,but we're good people.
Then you're going toattract somebody with that
same belief in their life.
And more than likely,you're going to give
good and receive good.
And there's the duality.
(45:40):
The giving and the receiving.
Emily (45:42):
And have more compassion for choices that
may not be within that good.
Matty (45:47):
Yep.
Emily (45:48):
Because you generally believe that they're good.
Matty (45:51):
But on the opposite side, if you believe that humanity
is bad and you're just hopingto find one of the good ones.
That we're born of sin and thatwe have to live our lives a
certain way, or we're just bad.
And people out there arejust bad, and they're just
gonna take on their own, andyou just really hope to find
the good one like you are.
But that's your belief,even if that's unconscious.
(46:12):
You're going to attract thesame belief in someone else and
unfortunately, it's not going tobe giving and receiving of good.
It's going to be givingand receiving of bad.
And you may flip thoseroles around where you're
dishing it out and youmight be receiving it.
Or you might just bemore of the victim, where
you're just receiving it.
(46:33):
But the belief that people arejust kind of bad natured, you
know, and there is some goodin the world, but you're just
hoping to find a good one.
But most of humanity's bad.
I was taught that growingup, that I needed to act a
certain way or I wasn't good.
That was a belief I carried.
So that's just a, a simplebelief, but this is kind of
(46:54):
how dualistic things work.
Our beliefs attract thelike belief, but in reality,
it's the opposite workingfrom the duality point.
So depending on what yourbelief is and what you're
attracting, the way it worksis the opposite attracts.
Even though it's a likebelief that's attracting.
(47:17):
But in duality, you'regoing to be on one end or
the other of that belief.
And those roles couldbe flipping in your
relationship back and forth.
Emily (47:26):
So I think the big takeaway from this whole episode
is just take a look at whatit is that you believe when
it comes to relationships.
Do you have the belief thatyou're just going to get cheated
on, or you're just going to getlied to, or that someone else
(47:48):
is meant to make you happy andyou're struggling to find that
person to make you happy or thepeople that won't cheat or lie.
Then maybe take a look atthe beliefs that you have
around that, and realize thatrelationships take two people
willing to work for, for it.
(48:10):
Willing to do the work andcontribute to the happiness
of the overall relationship.
Matty (48:16):
Absolutely, and you can't expect someone else
to give you what you'reunwilling to give yourself.
That would be the other overallpoint I would put in there.
Emily (48:27):
Goosebumps walk away.
I think that's a goodending point though.
So be willing to giveyourself the best and the
best shall be returned.
Matty (48:41):
Yeah.
All right, y'all.
If you're enjoying what we'relaying down, we sure appreciate
you joining us every week.
We sure enjoy sharing ourexperience and knowledge and
our thoughts on a soul alignedlife, our experience in the
Akashic Records and what it'slike living here in duality
(49:03):
from that soul mindset.
We sure enjoysharing it with you.
Emily (49:08):
And if you do feel like you are starting to do this
inner world searching and youdiscover that you do have some
dualistic beliefs that areaffecting your relationships.
We are still offering past liferegressions through December and
we would love to work with you.
(49:30):
These are definitely things thatwe hold close to our hearts.
This list was made up ofthings that we had to learn
the hard way ourselves, so wedefinitely can relate and it
would be an honor to help leadyou to a more healthy belief.
Matty (49:48):
Yeah, we can help you find those root
causes and nip them inthe bud through awareness.
Emily (49:53):
Through awareness and love.
Yeah.
And meeting with your spiritguide to reinforce that
love and those lessons.
We are so grateful foreveryone that's joined us
today on the show and we hopeyou have a wonderful week.
Matty (50:11):
We sure do.
Hello amazing souls and welcome to today's show.
Emily (00:04):
Hello, welcome back.
Matty (00:06):
We're gonna get into relationship beliefs
that are ruining your life.
We spent the last three weekstalking about past life energy,
past life regressions, and a lotabout the benefits of working
with these energies and goingthrough this therapy, but mostly
because of the fact that we havethese limiting beliefs that we
(00:29):
can carry over from the past.
So we want to kind ofkeep on the theme of
working with beliefs.
Emily (00:35):
Yeah, and I feel like these beliefs can come from
this life or past lives.
Matty (00:40):
Absolutely.
I just wanted to kind ofiterate that we're keeping
this theme of beliefs going
Emily (00:45):
Oh, yeah.
Matty (00:46):
I didn't mean to bring up the last three shows because
we're only talking aboutbeliefs from the past lives.
It's the idea herethat our beliefs are
creating our reality.
They're creating thesituations and the people
in our lives, especially theones that are closest to us.
Our life partners, ourlovers, are those kinds of
relationships is what we'regoing to talk more about today.
(01:09):
And these people are helpingus to see what it is in
ourselves, but we have to bewilling to look at our beliefs.
Not just look at someoneelse's actions or words
coming towards us.
But what are we attracting?
And if you're not willingto do that, you might just
think that your beliefsare ruining your life.
Emily (01:31):
I mean, some of these are even societal beliefs
that are just commonplace.
And so this is just a reminderto kind of look within yourself
to understand your beliefs.
What kind of reality thatyou are creating with them?
Matty (01:49):
Absolutely, anything and everything comes from your
willingness to look withinto ask yourself questions.
Hopefully you'rewilling to look within.
Check, check yourself.
Emily (02:01):
Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Thank you.
I felt like there wassomething missing when
I said, check yourself.
Shall we get started?
I know we have a lot to cover.
Matty (02:12):
Yeah.
I just wanted totake one moment.
Kind of a life update, butEmily just had her birthday.
She just had her birthday.
And thank you everyonefor all the well wishes
and blessings and happybirthdays you sent her way.
Emily (02:29):
Yes, that was so sweet.
Thank you so much.
I definitely felt the loveand feel so grateful to have
felt that and have all thosekind people, beautiful souls
wishing me happy birthday.
So thank you.
Matty (02:44):
All right, I'm ready to jump in.
Emily (02:46):
Let's do it.
Matty (02:47):
All right, well, belief number one.
Emily (02:51):
Ugh, this is so widespread and commonplace,
too, and reinforced throughmovies, through commercials,
through, I mean, maybe notcommercials because they're
not long enough, but definitelythrough movies, shows.
Matty (03:04):
It's romanticized.
It's fairytale.
It's made for TV and notthe reality of life itself.
And it's the beliefthat happily ever after.
I did the thing.
I got married.
I found the person nowIt's just kick back and
happily ever after, I don'thave to do anything else.
Emily (03:22):
I can just give up now.
Like magically your lifeis just gonna go according
to plan, but that is notthe way it works people.
It is very unrealistic becausethat is actually when the real
work begins in a relationship.
Because when you're withsomeone for long term, things
(03:45):
start coming up, and if youare in a safe space with
this person, you're goingto have trauma surface up.
It's like, oh, we've beentogether a year now, one year
trauma pops up, you know.
And then the longer you'retogether, the deeper the
traumas, not necessarily thedeeper the trauma from the
(04:06):
relationship, but I just meanlike things start boiling up
from your childhood, from yourpast, from your past lives.
Like these different thingsstart rearing their heads and
they happen from situationsthat you haven't been in before.
Matty (04:24):
That's the point I wanted to make right there is as we
live, change is a constant.
We are going to change,our experiences are
going to shift us.
They're going to createreactions within us as
we just live our lives.
And when you're committedto someone, you may see
things in them that youdidn't know was possible.
(04:46):
They may have reactions thatthey didn't know were possible.
Coming up from lifesituations, things that are
buried in the unconscious.
The real work begins thelonger you're together.
Happily ever after is a fallacy.
You can have a lot ofhappiness, and you can
stay together forever.
(05:07):
These things are verypossible, but we live
in a dualistic world.
There are gonna be ups anddowns, and there are going to
be challenges, and there aregoing to be amazing moments.
Absolutely.
Emily (05:20):
Yeah, and all too often, you find in relationships,
I mean, this happened to me,I know it's happened
to my friends.
Where they've been inrelationships, change is
inevitable, and then the personis mad because you changed.
You may even hear things like,well, you're not even the
same person I fell in lovewith, or, uh, you've changed.
(05:44):
Like it's an insult.
Like you're supposed to juststay in this box, the same
person you were exactly whenyou got married, or when
you got together, wheneveryou are documenting your
happily ever after startingand that's just unrealistic.
And it's not very fair tothe other person to expect
(06:06):
them to say the same.
If that's a belief that youhold, you know, as a listener,
then you may want to kindof reconsider and realize
that that is holding youback in your relationship.
If you're expecting for yourpartner to stay the exact same,
react the exact same way everysingle time, that's just, I
(06:31):
mean, the rules of energeticsmake that impossible to happen.
Matty (06:34):
Well, and I think that's where some of this happily
ever after is born from.
You're really happy in thismoment, in this time in
your life, and you don'tever want it to change.
And in some ways you may end upfeeling victimized, and that's
why you think the other personhas changed in a negative way.
And maybe they have, maybethe person they're becoming
(06:56):
isn't working for you.
But it doesn't necessarilymean that, it's a bad thing
or that change is bad.
Emily (07:04):
Or that they're bad for changing.
Matty (07:06):
Exactly.
I just like you to reconsiderthe notion of happily
ever after, unless you'rewilling to work for it.
And that means both of you.
Emily (07:17):
Yes, for sure.
Yeah, and I do feel likeI should bring up this one
thing that if you don'ttalk about things that
happen in your relationship.
And you start off not talkingabout things, and then you
begin to hold grudges, or youconstantly, like, bury things
under the carpet, like, Ugh,they did this thing, and it's
(07:40):
like you're just gonna continueto be mad about that thing.
And if you don't talk aboutit and find some way to, you
know, relieve the pressureof that grudge, then it's
going to stay there for theentirety of the relationship.
So if you are someone whorefuses to talk about things,
(08:02):
holds grudges, constantly keepsscore, those things are going
to build up to a very unhealthyand unhappy relationship.
I mean, those are thethings that are necessary to
have a happily ever after,but it's not happily ever
after and then it stops.
It's happily ever after andthen you have to work like
(08:24):
that's when the work begins.
The work on yourself, the workwith your partner, with the
communication skills, like thatis very important to have a
long term happy relationship.
Matty (08:40):
Yes, it is.
Well said.
Emily (08:44):
Thanks, wshould e go to number two?
Matty (08:46):
Let's do it.
Emily (08:47):
So number two is the belief that if
a relationship ends, itis considered a failure.
That is something that, I mean,I definitely felt that way.
I've definitely had allthese beliefs in the past.
And it's taken being in a longterm relationship to realize,
Oh, these are bullshit.
(09:08):
But, so if a relationshipends, It is not a failure.
Everything requires practice,including relationships.
And so if a relationshipends, that means that
you learned an importantlesson, I don't want that.
There's something about thatrelationship that I don't want.
(09:29):
And so when you enter into yournext relationship, you can say,
You can spot it right away.
I know that I don't want that.
And if that comes up again,you're like, nope, you can
get out quicker and go towardsthe things that you really
do want in your relationship.
We do live in this dualisticworld and oftentimes because
(09:49):
of that, you have to learn whatyou don't want in order to get
closer to what you do want.
Matty (09:57):
That's a big one.
Emily (09:58):
Yeah.
Because how do you know whatyou do want if you don't
know what you, if you don'tknow what you don't want?
I know that's like a tonguetwister, but sometimes
the lesson is, I don'twant that and that's okay.
Matty (10:14):
That's fine.
Let that be thelesson and move on.
Emily (10:17):
But that's not a failure, that's just a lesson.
Matty (10:19):
The only thing really at this point is when a
relationship ends is it's timeto do a little self evaluation.
If there are certain behaviorsthat you didn't like in the
other and that's why this ended.
If they ended it with you andtold you why, ask yourself
what in you, what created this?
(10:42):
If you have the belief thatall men just act a certain way
and that's how they are and youjust hope to find a good one.
And you attract a not good one.
You attract a man that just isa pig, he just acts that way,
just thinks his shit don'tstink because he's a man.
And doesn't treat you theway you want to be treated.
Well, what is it in youthat has a belief that
(11:04):
would have that there?
If you're holding the beliefthat most men act this way
and you just want to find agood one, well, that belief is
bringing someone into your lifethat might show you that belief.
So this is just a tinyexample of something
that could be there.
But if you can find thatbelief that has attracted
potential actions that youdidn't like within your
(11:26):
relationship that were a dealbreaker that you don't want
and you can shift yourself,then your next relationship
will teach you something else.
Because you've learned thatlesson, you've spotted that
belief whatever it may be thathas helped to create this.
But it doesn't mean thatit's a failure because a
relationship didn't work out.
It's just a chance to grow.
Emily (11:47):
For show.
So number threeTake it away, baby.
Matty (11:53):
The belief that your person should just
know what you need.
That they're the ones thatare going to meet your needs,
and they should just know.
And you're not going totake responsibility in
meeting your own needs.
So essentially you're expectingthem to be a mind reader.
And then you end up beingmad at them when your own
needs aren't being met.
Emily (12:13):
Yeah, I feel like this is a big one.
I've been guilty of it.
Matty (12:16):
Oh God, I've put this off on other people.
Emily (12:19):
Yeah, I definitely have too.
Matty (12:20):
Thinking that if they really loved me, they'd
just know what I needed.
Emily (12:24):
I mean, shit, how can you not know what I need?
Well, there are somereasons why someone else
cannot know what you need.
And that is, everyone'sneeds are different based
on their own personalexperiences and preferences.
And we can only comefrom our own perceptions.
Matty (12:45):
That's huge, right there.
We can never ever truly knowsomeone else completely.
We can be empathic, we canintuit, we can have feelings,
but someone else is them.
We only can come wherewe can come from.
And like I said, we may getsome guidance and we have
(13:07):
wonderful soul gifts and toolslike empathy and intuition
to help us along that way.
But we are coming fromour own perception, our
own experiences, when itcomes to try to understand
what someone else needs.
In the end, it, it's justyour best intuitive guess,
what might be good for them.
(13:28):
And if you're relying onsomeone else to make their
best intuitive guess on yourneeds, do yourself a favor and
just tell them what you need.
Tell them what works for you.
Emily (13:39):
And give them the chance to either meet it or not.
Just cut through the painand suffering of being
disappointed and resentfulall the time if you expect
someone to just read your mind.
Matty (13:51):
No one is a mind reader.
No one is truly going toknow exactly what you need.
And honestly, if you don'thave the communication,
you're probably not in asuper healthy relationship.
Communication is huge.
And being vulnerable andletting somebody know what you
(14:13):
need is a big part of that.
Emily (14:15):
And I mean, that's hard.
Sometimes it's hardto know what you need.
Sometimes you have anemotional response and
you're like, holy fuck, wheredid this even come from?
I don't even know.
I don't even knowwhat I need right now.
Or you could be like cryinguncontrollably and not even
know but that's okay too tosay I don't really know what
(14:35):
I need right now, but I canupdate you when I figure it out.
And someone who's willingto hold space for you
and to love you should beable to understand that.
Matty (14:48):
If you're willing to even say that to them, look I'm
unsure of what exactly I needright now, but I need you to
just be supportive of me in thismoment and that's that, and when
I have a better grasp on what myneed is or where this reaction
is coming from or why I feelthis way then I'll let you know.
I'd like to think that a lifepartner could be okay with that.
Emily (15:10):
Yeah,
Matty (15:11):
I would find it refreshing as opposed to
just be pushed away andhave someone have their
own emotional experienceand me wonder what it is.
Did I do something?
Is it about me?
Am I involved in this?
Are they having some sortof limiting belief or trauma
response from childhoodor a past life popping up?
Some energy felt similarand their unconscious mind
(15:33):
and ego went, screw thatright there, you know, so I
would accept that for sure.
It would just be refreshing,any communication.
I wasn't the greatestcommunicator,
Emily (15:46):
communicator.
Matty (15:47):
I wasn't the greatest communicator when I was younger
in relationships, but that stuffwas born out of my own lack of
self worth and self respect.
So I didn't quite know how to.
feel worthy of even gettingsupport from someone else
to help meet my own needs.
So I didn't do the greatestjob ever saying what I needed.
(16:09):
Especially when I wasconfused about how I was
feeling or what was going on.
I just buried it and stayedquiet and hoped it, hoped it
would just smooth itself out.
Yeah, it didn'treally work out a lot.
Emily (16:23):
I did the same thing except it would burst out
in emotional responses,like crazy amounts of crying
and being confused aboutwhat is actually happening.
Which kind of brings me toon the same note that you
must be willing to takeresponsibility in meeting
(16:43):
your own needs, especiallylike basic daily needs.
There are many times, I mean,especially before I started
exercising regularly, itwas like, I knew I needed
the exercise, but I wasn'twilling to give myself
that on a daily basis.
And therefore it was like, Iwould act out against other
people and be mad at them forlike, taking my time away or
(17:07):
how dare you make me go to workor, or just a number of things.
Like blaming other people formonopolizing my time when I
wasn't willing to stand strong.
This is what I need andmaking it happen for myself.
And I think that's reallyimportant for people to do.
(17:29):
If like, if you're someone thatneeds to exercise daily, then
make it happen for yourself.
Don't expect someone elseto make it happen for you.
Matty (17:38):
Being a willing participant in what's in your
own best interests is huge.
Just like on theopposite side of things.
You can't really ever helpsomebody if they're not
willing to help themselves.
So you can't expect somebodyto meet your own needs
if you're not willing todo some of the work, too.
Emily (17:59):
If you're expecting your partner to take care
of your basic needs, that iskind of something that you
can start stepping up anddoing for yourself and not
putting that on someone else.
Matty (18:11):
And you're disempowering yourself if you're expecting
them to take care of your needs.
All right, I really wantto move into number four.
Emily (18:20):
Yeah.
Matty (18:22):
Because this is one we hear, it'll sound very
familiar to you, as well.
Us coming from the South,we've heard it a bunch
at least, but it's thebelief that one and done.
You only get one soulmate.
You only get to be marriedone time, if it doesn't
work out, that's it.
You've had yourchance and no more.
(18:43):
And I don't know if thishas been so prevalent in our
lives because we grew up andwere raised in the Bible Belt
in the Southeast or if it'sprevalent all over the country.
Emily (18:57):
I'm not sure about that.
Matty (18:58):
But this is also something that's played up on
TV shows and things that you'reone true love, your soulmate.
And when you findthem, everything will
be happily ever after.
But souls don't get anopportunity to come to
earth and put all oftheir eggs in one basket.
(19:18):
And everything counts on, Idid all the things and made
all the right choices andso are they and that we're
gonna, we're going to nailthis and we're going to meet
up and then it'll be great.
And I'll have my soulmate.
It just isn't that way.
You make a plan, youmake a backup plan.
You make probably a hundredbackup plans, as a soul in a
(19:41):
light body, when you're thinkingabout what you want to come
here and what you want to tryto achieve and learn and grow.
And who you want to share yourlife with, who are going to
be your close friends, who'sgoing to be your lovers,
You know, you get to choosethese things ahead of time.
You get to choose your parents.
But then you havespiritual amnesia and
come here with free will.
You forgot the plan andthen you have free will to
(20:02):
deviate from the plan youforgot in the first place.
Are you kidding me?
One soulmate?
Uh uh.
It just, it isn't that way.
But I know that thereare soulmate connections.
I know that there aredeep connections and that
sometimes people's like plan1a work out and they meet
that person and it happensand it's probably amazing.
(20:25):
I feel like that workedfor me, but I know that
I did a lot of work.
I know that Emilydid a lot of work.
And I know we've done a tonof growth together to have
the relationship we have.
To have this deep loveand this bond of mutual
respect, trust, unconditionallove for each other.
Loving who we were because itshaped us into who we are when
(20:49):
we got together, when we met.
And loving who we'rebecoming without even
knowing who that is.
Like, we're on a path together.
Emily (20:57):
But we were much older when we got together, too.
Like, had you and I got togetherwhen we were 18, then I mean.
Matty (21:05):
I was a train wreck.
I was, too.
I'm so glad I didn'tmeet you when I was 18.
Although, you wouldhave been, like, 14.
Oh, yeah.
That wouldn't haveworked out, but.
Emily (21:13):
Well, if I were 18, then.
Matty (21:16):
But still, I totally agree.
Although, I wasn'tthat much older.
I'm glad we didn'tmeet back then.
When we did meet.
I, I needed to, I needed tohave a lot of relationships
and grow and practice.
Practice who I wanted to bein relationship and what I
wanted from relationship tobe able to be the man that
I wanted to be with you.
Emily (21:35):
And I had to do the same.
I had to have somebad relationships.
I had some fun relationships,but they weren't exactly
relationships meantfor the long term.
There was no, there was funtimes had, but there wasn't
that, I couldn't really trustor feel vulnerable and feel
(21:58):
accepted in it, you know, andthose things are very important.
Those are important thingsto me, but I never would
have known that those thingswere important if I would
have just latched onto thefirst guy that I ever started
dating and believed it washappily ever after from there.
Matty (22:16):
Yeah, I don't want to knock high school sweethearts,
but man, there aren't a lotof those that really work out
for the long term anymore.
Emily (22:24):
There are, there are some that do.
Matty (22:26):
There absolutely are.
Emily (22:27):
But it requires a tremendous amount of
communication and growth.
That is, actually, one of mygood friends, she and her high
school sweetheart, and theytried not to stay together.
But they just kept gettingpulled towards each other,
but I know it's takena tremendous amount of
communication and growth forthem to be together, still.
Matty (22:50):
Yeah, they're super cute.
Emily (22:51):
Yeah.
So it does work out.
It does, I think.
But I do think that when youget together at such a young
age, there is some of thesebeliefs that could be standing
in the way, especially if youexpect for your 18 year old or,
you know, 18 year old person tonever change and stay the same.
(23:12):
I mean, 18 year olds are, Imean, they know everything,
but they're idiots.
I mean, I knew everythingwhen I was 18, of course.
Really, 17.
Matty (23:23):
Yeah, I was gonna say, I knew everything a little bit
before I was 18, You know, my,after my younger twenties, I
started to figure out maybeI don't know everything.
And then by like 26, 27,I realized everywhere
I go, there I am.
Emily (23:39):
Oh shit, I don't know anything.
Matty (23:41):
I've tried to change everything on the outside
so many times and it keepsblowing up in my face.
I guess I might have tolook in the mirror and
decide what I need tochange in my inner world.
I might have to own up someof the responsibility because
it's hard to keep pointingthe finger at everything else
when you've had different setsof friends and bounced around
(24:03):
in different areas of theworld and had different lovers
throughout different areas ofthe, I said the world, but at
this point just the country.
Emily (24:12):
Hi.
Matty (24:13):
So the whole point of this number four, one
and done, one soulmate,that's just not the truth.
They're out there and theseconnections can feel deep.
And.
If you've ever noticed thatyou may have been deeply
in love with more thanone person in your life.
If you have, that rightthere should show you
(24:33):
that there's potentialfor love in other people.
It's not just with one person.
Even if those relationshipshaven't worked out, even if
you had a great love of yourlife and you're no longer
with them, there's alwaysthe potential for love.
We come for growth.
(24:53):
We come to learn our lessons.
We come to achieve certainthings in our life By being
here and experiencing beinga human, but sharing in
love, getting love, givinglove this is part of it.
And there's always achance if you're willing
to take the chance.
(25:14):
If you're willing toput yourself out there.
If you're willing to believe inlove, there's always a chance.
Emily (25:21):
Believe in love.
So number five.
This is a really big one andI feel like this happens a lot
when you, or when all of ushave gone through a traumatic
time in a relationship,um, two things can happen.
Either one, you make thebelief, or you take the
(25:45):
belief on that their actions,mean something about you.
This happens a lot whensomeone gets cheated on.
I've definitely been there.
It sucks, but you take onthe belief that they never
would have done that ifyou were someone different.
Or if you were a better personor this or that or worthy of
(26:11):
love or whatever, then theywouldn't have done that.
But the truth is, isthat you can't control
other people's actions.
Their actions havenothing to do with you.
Matty (26:21):
Sometimes other people are just a dick.
Emily (26:24):
Yeah, sometimes people are just dicks.
Matty (26:26):
And it wasn't about what you did or didn't do.
They just were a dick and didn'trespect you enough and cheated.
If it's cheatingthat has come up.
This doesn't mean that you're abad person or you're not worthy
of someone respecting you.
You may need to look inthe mirror and see if
(26:50):
you've attracted thissituation and needed
something to learn from it.
But other than that, don't,don't make it more than it is.
Like it.
It's more than likelythey're just a dick.
Emily (26:59):
Yeah, and if they don't respect you,
then that's on them.
That says everything about them,and it doesn't say anything
about you unless you make it.
So just remember, otherpeople's actions are
just that, their actions.
And they are responsiblefor their own actions.
(27:20):
And so another side of this kindof same coin is that you take
on the belief Or you generalizeone person's actions from one
time, and you make it across theboard and make it for everyone.
So, for example, if you werelied to once, you're like, Well,
everyone's a liar, so I cannever be in a relationship again
(27:41):
because I'll just get lied to.
Or, everyone cheats, soI'll just get cheated
on no matter what.
But you can't expecteveryone to be the same.
Matty (27:53):
Well, and if you hold a belief like that, how
do you ever expect to havea relationship that isn't
going to end up with beinglied to or being cheated on?
Emily (28:04):
Or the plethora of other things.
Matty (28:06):
Exactly.
But if those are thebeliefs you're holding, be
careful what you believe in.
Be careful on making ablanket statement across
the board, like Emily said.
Just because one personwas a dick, it doesn't
mean that everybody is.
There are anything andeverything under the
sun in the polarity andduality that we experience.
(28:30):
And, I mean, so manyshades of grey in between.
Of how people are and the levelthat they will treat you with or
respect that they're gonna have.
You know, just because oneperson did something doesn't
mean it's always gonna be thatway, unless you make it so.
Unless you take thatbelief on and make it so.
Emily (28:50):
Yes.
So other people's actionsare other people's actions.
They don't necessarilyreflect something about you.
Matty (28:59):
Wholeheartedly
Emily (29:01):
And so, the sixth one, I really got caught
up in this one, especiallywhen I was younger, and,
well, maybe even older too.
That everyone else is amirror to you and doing
self work is how youchange your relationships
with certain people.
Matty (29:21):
So, if you believe that the world around
you is mirroring to you,who and what you are.
And that your own selfwork is going to change
the relationship with them,it's unequivocally false.
You can't change other people,unless they want to change.
If you recognize something'soff in the relationship, and you
(29:44):
want, you're brave enough, anddeep enough to look within and
own your responsibility and, oryour beliefs that have created
this and that you're a part ofthis and want to make changes.
Well, then they need to, too.
To create true change.
And like self workis, it's so important.
(30:06):
Being able to do the innerwork, to look within and
to own your own stuff.
It's so necessary in this world.
And I don't think as awhole, the population
really dives in and looksat their own responsibility.
I can't speak for the entiretyof the world, but in America,
we're quick to point thefinger and blame others.
(30:30):
And push them away andnot look within at what
we're doing to, to helpcreate certain situations
within our relationships.
Emily (30:38):
And so a big thing about this is that if only one person
is doing this inner work tochange a relationship, then.
If the other person is notmaking any efforts to make the
relationship work or they're notwilling to do any inner work to
make the relationship better,then the relationship is never
(30:59):
going to be the relationshipyou want it to be with this
person, if they're not willingto do the inner work as well.
So you can't change arelationship by doing inner
work only on yourself.
That other person has tofirst realize, okay, yes,
something needs to change inthis relationship or I want
(31:20):
a deeper relationship too.
And they have to make thenecessary changes within
themselves in order to helpchange the relationship.
But one thing that you findis that if you are someone
who is willing to do theinner work, which if you're
listening to this, chances areyou are that type of person.
(31:41):
Then you can change how otherpeople react to you, but it
isn't always a positive thing.
So you can do this innerwork expecting, okay, I
want things to get better,you know, with my spouse or
with my significant other.
I want things to get betterwith them, so I'm going
to do all this inner work,but yet they're not willing
(32:02):
to do any inner work.
They will change how theyrespond to you because you have
done your inner work, but thatisn't always a positive thing.
I mean, it can be a positivething because it shows you
that your inner work isworking, but their reaction
may not feel like a positivething, because you can't
(32:22):
predict how they'll respond.
Matty (32:24):
Exactly, you, it may not be what you hoped.
Emily (32:27):
Yes.
Matty (32:28):
That's a better way of saying that.
By doing your own workthat you're hoping to shift
the relationship or changeand communications key.
And if you're communicating thatsomething's off and you want
to work to change things andthey're not working to change
things, then you pretty muchhave your answer right there.
They don't see itlike you see it.
(32:50):
And if you're still tryingto do inner work for
yourself, just to change therelationship, take a pause.
There's a slight bit ofmanipulation involved with that.
If you're doing something tocontrol someone else, to control
an outcome, to change something,even though your intention
may be a really good one, tohave a better relationship,
(33:12):
do it for yourself.
Do the inner work to changeyourself, to make things better
for you, to take responsibilityfor your needs, And see how
it shifts that outside world.
Emily (33:24):
Well, and I think another thing about this way
of thinking, if you're on theone side and you're like, okay,
obviously something's wrong.
So I need to continueto do inner, this inner
work, then you're going toconstantly be trying to find
something wrong with you.
You're going to constantlythink that there's something
wrong with you because therelationship isn't getting
better, if that otherperson isn't putting in the
(33:47):
effort for the relationship.
And then it's just likethis never ending cycle of
okay, well, there has to besomething else wrong with me
because it's not better yet.
And if you're there then Ivery much sympathize because I
have definitely treated a lotof relationships like this in
(34:09):
the past thinking okay, wellif I can just heal this one
more part of me, then this thisrelationship will get better.
Or if I could just keep healing,keep healing, but really it
amounts to does that otherperson, are they willing to try?
Are they willing todo the inner work?
(34:29):
Are they willingto heal for you?
Matty (34:33):
And I really think is we do our own inner work and
we change that the magnetism,the attraction, the energetic
properties, the resonanceof the relationship is going
to shift and people thataren't meant for you are
(34:53):
probably going to fall away.
And if you're unwilling tosee that or to let it go
before it happens, theremay even be a chaotic
event that brings this out.
So change can happen becauseyou're doing the work,
you're changing, you'retransformation, you're growing,
and you can't stay stuck andtransform at the same time.
(35:17):
Your world around you willshift, but it may not be
in the ways that you hoped.
So be willing to let yourtransformation play out.
You're doing good for you, andyou're taking responsibility for
your own needs, that's amazing.
Emily (35:32):
Yes.
Matty (35:33):
I applaud you.
Fuck yeah for you.
Emily (35:35):
Yes, absolutely.
Matty (35:36):
But understand that the ideas that you're
hoping for may not come tofruition in the way you see.
And that something may needto change so that kind of
relationship you truly want,but you're trying to see it
with the partner you havenow might be in the next one.
And that's okay.
It might be a little scary,but that's okay because that
(35:59):
deep love that you want mightbe around the corner if you're
willing to be open to it.
So do that inner work.
Emily (36:05):
And respect yourself enough to walk away.
Matty (36:08):
Yeah.
All right.
Number seven andthis is the last one.
We whittled them downto just seven for y'all.
But I hear this one andI have oh I've been so
guilty of this right here.
The belief that someone else,that another person can make
you happy or complete you.
(36:29):
That's a bitch right there
Emily (36:33):
Definitely been guilty of it myself, and I think
it kind of goes along withthe happily ever after like
oh If, if it's the rightperson, then everything will
just magically work out.
My whole life will just unfoldperfectly before me and that
other person can make me happyand they will complete me.
Matty (36:56):
We singled this one out because it is, I mean,
for me, it kind of plays alongwith thinking someone else is
going to take care of my needs.
And happiness is absolutely inneed of every single one of us.
I sure hope you want tobe happy and that you're
trying to be happy andyou're a willing participant
in your own happiness.
There is a pervasive beliefthat someone else will
(37:18):
make you happy, that that'strue happiness, that it
comes through relationship.
Emily (37:25):
Happiness comes from within.
Matty (37:27):
Exactly.
You have to be a willingparticipant in your
own happiness, first.
And then you can sharein that with another.
It could be even greater withanother, but if you're not
a happy person by yourself,you can't expect to be a
happy person just becausesomeone else makes you happy.
And it might workfor a little while.
(37:47):
You might be able to, you know,find some happiness, but again,
if you're not helping yourself,if you're not doing the inner
work on why you're not happywhen you're alone no one else is
going to truly make you happy.
They might have an action ora gesture that brings some
(38:07):
happiness or joy in your life.
But the true feeling, thesatisfaction that comes
with knowing you're happy,knowing you're okay,
that comes from within.
Emily (38:20):
Yeah, and I find this really interesting.
Barbara Brennan talks aboutin her book, uh, Core Healing.
She says, no demand, and she'stalking about like demanding
something from someone else.
Like you need to make me happyor you need to complete me.
So no demand can ever befulfilled because its own
(38:42):
nature is dualistic in thatit demands to have fulfillment
come from another person.
Because like we saidthese things these ideas
are an internal process.
These are things that canonly come from within.
Like, what does happinesseven mean to you?
(39:03):
How in the world couldyou even convey that to
someone else to, to, forthem to make you that way?
Because.
Matty (39:10):
If you have no idea what happiness is to you because
you're not happy and you'reneeding them to make you
happy and complete you, howcan you even communicate what
that is to you if you're notparticipating in it yourself?
Emily (39:23):
And coming from someone who has happiness as
one of their life lessons.
Happiness is not an easy task.
That's why it has to come fromwithin, because happiness is a
constant reminder, a constantfeeling to, to achieve.
(39:43):
And I definitely think thatI've had some past lives where
I was told, well, we don't justget, we don't get to be happy.
That's just not somethingthat our family gets to do.
And I've been really workingthrough these and I definitely
think that's part of why Ichose happiness as a life lesson
this time around, because.
(40:04):
That's something that I reallywant because I know that it's
something that comes from withinand is an internal process.
And I don't want to justmentally go into despair or into
hopelessness or, I mean, youknow, the plethora of things
that can happen when you aren'twilling to look around and be
(40:26):
grateful for what you do have.
So the idea that someoneelse can make you happy
is, it's just not true.
Happiness is aninternal process.
And it's something thatrequires the inner work.
Matty (40:43):
Someone else can add to it, but they
can't give it to you.
This is something I foundso very true in my own life.
And I know that the culturewe live in, buy, buy, buy,
dopamine hit, dopamine hit.
I mean, marketers andbillionaires with things to
sell you would just assumeyou'd be unhappy and think
(41:06):
that, well, this shirt willmake you happy or that game
won't have me, or this makeup,or that car, or whatever it is
that's giving you a short termdopamine hit and happiness buzz.
You know, realize thatthese are short term things.
(41:27):
That true happinesscomes from within.
Emily (41:29):
And that's just a lot of really unfair pressure
to put on someone else.
To be like, you, you don'tneed to make me happy.
Matty (41:38):
Yeah, the energetics of that is very pressuring.
If you're expecting someone elseto complete you, to make you
happy, more than likely, you'rejust going to push them away.
And I, I know that I'vedone that personally.
Emily (41:53):
Yes.
I mean, it's like you'relike on a freaking
circus ride or something.
What I guess, no, a fair ride.
Where it's like you're justspinning round and round.
I'm stewing in my ownunhappiness and pissed
at you because you'renot making me happy.
But how can you make, Imean, like if you think
about it, that's justkind of crazy to think.
(42:16):
Because what could someoneelse possibly do to make
your internal process andyour internal dialogue and
your internal belief gofrom being so unhappy to
just magically happy likeno one action can take that.
It takes continued work.
Matty (42:38):
Well, and if you're relying on someone else and it's
just these momentary things,this action that they were kind.
They said this, they did that.
Then you always need them tosay this or do that to give
you some sort of happiness.
And that's a lot of pressure.
Yeah.
Especially, you know, andI know when you're in the
(42:59):
courting phase and you'regetting to know somebody,
sometimes there's a littlebit more of those actions and
gestures that can take place.
But as some of that fades andyou've been relying on that.
It's just, it's unfair.
It just really is.
It's just super pressuring.
Like I said, I knowthat I've been guilty
of pushing people away.
And that was born of myown low self worth and
(43:22):
that I look to others to,to bring me happiness.
I looked outside of myselfbecause I wasn't giving
it to myself, but I didn'tunderstand that it was my
responsibility back then.
I just didn't.
So I did what a lot of us do.
I looked outside of myself.
I hoped somebody elsewould bring it to me.
I expected to be in arelationship that I would be
(43:45):
treated the right way and happy.
And my beliefs of notgiving it to myself and
expecting it from othersdidn't bring me happiness.
It brought me a wholebunch of circumstances and
relationships to try to makethat connection and I just
wouldn't learn the lesson.
So I was on repeat fora while in my life.
Emily (44:06):
Well, and that's a dualistic belief.
I just kind of wanted toreiterate that because this
is a dualistic belief, becauseif you are of the thought that
another person can make youhappy or whole or complete, then
that means that you can neverbe those things on your own.
And so that is dualistic.
You're reachingoutside of yourself.
(44:26):
And putting those thingson another thing, but
what you really want isto just have those things
yourself internally.
And so it's difficult tomanifest when you're of
dualistic thinking, becauseif you're constantly
expecting it from someoneelse, but you're not willing
to give it to yourself,then that's split energy.
(44:52):
That's going in twodifferent directions.
Matty (44:55):
Yeah, it's not working together.
You're going in twodifferent directions and it's
working against yourself.
Absolutely.
And, I mean, people believethat like attracts like when
we're living here on earth.
The same beliefs are goingto attract the same beliefs.
And if you have, let's just dosomething simple like, Okay,
(45:19):
if you have the belief thathumanity by nature is good.
That people are just goodpeople, and you know, we all,
we all fuck up sometimes,but we're good people.
Then you're going toattract somebody with that
same belief in their life.
And more than likely,you're going to give
good and receive good.
And there's the duality.
(45:40):
The giving and the receiving.
Emily (45:42):
And have more compassion for choices that
may not be within that good.
Matty (45:47):
Yep.
Emily (45:48):
Because you generally believe that they're good.
Matty (45:51):
But on the opposite side, if you believe that humanity
is bad and you're just hopingto find one of the good ones.
That we're born of sin and thatwe have to live our lives a
certain way, or we're just bad.
And people out there arejust bad, and they're just
gonna take on their own, andyou just really hope to find
the good one like you are.
But that's your belief,even if that's unconscious.
(46:12):
You're going to attract thesame belief in someone else and
unfortunately, it's not going tobe giving and receiving of good.
It's going to be givingand receiving of bad.
And you may flip thoseroles around where you're
dishing it out and youmight be receiving it.
Or you might just bemore of the victim, where
you're just receiving it.
(46:33):
But the belief that people arejust kind of bad natured, you
know, and there is some goodin the world, but you're just
hoping to find a good one.
But most of humanity's bad.
I was taught that growingup, that I needed to act a
certain way or I wasn't good.
That was a belief I carried.
So that's just a, a simplebelief, but this is kind of
(46:54):
how dualistic things work.
Our beliefs attract thelike belief, but in reality,
it's the opposite workingfrom the duality point.
So depending on what yourbelief is and what you're
attracting, the way it worksis the opposite attracts.
Even though it's a likebelief that's attracting.
(47:17):
But in duality, you'regoing to be on one end or
the other of that belief.
And those roles couldbe flipping in your
relationship back and forth.
Emily (47:26):
So I think the big takeaway from this whole episode
is just take a look at whatit is that you believe when
it comes to relationships.
Do you have the belief thatyou're just going to get cheated
on, or you're just going to getlied to, or that someone else
(47:48):
is meant to make you happy andyou're struggling to find that
person to make you happy or thepeople that won't cheat or lie.
Then maybe take a look atthe beliefs that you have
around that, and realize thatrelationships take two people
willing to work for, for it.
(48:10):
Willing to do the work andcontribute to the happiness
of the overall relationship.
Matty (48:16):
Absolutely, and you can't expect someone else
to give you what you'reunwilling to give yourself.
That would be the other overallpoint I would put in there.
Emily (48:27):
Goosebumps walk away.
I think that's a goodending point though.
So be willing to giveyourself the best and the
best shall be returned.
Matty (48:41):
Yeah.
All right, y'all.
If you're enjoying what we'relaying down, we sure appreciate
you joining us every week.
We sure enjoy sharing ourexperience and knowledge and
our thoughts on a soul alignedlife, our experience in the
Akashic Records and what it'slike living here in duality
(49:03):
from that soul mindset.
We sure enjoysharing it with you.
Emily (49:08):
And if you do feel like you are starting to do this
inner world searching and youdiscover that you do have some
dualistic beliefs that areaffecting your relationships.
We are still offering past liferegressions through December and
we would love to work with you.
(49:30):
These are definitely things thatwe hold close to our hearts.
This list was made up ofthings that we had to learn
the hard way ourselves, so wedefinitely can relate and it
would be an honor to help leadyou to a more healthy belief.
Matty (49:48):
Yeah, we can help you find those root
causes and nip them inthe bud through awareness.
Emily (49:53):
Through awareness and love.
Yeah.
And meeting with your spiritguide to reinforce that
love and those lessons.
We are so grateful foreveryone that's joined us
today on the show and we hopeyou have a wonderful week.
Matty (50:11):
We sure do.
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