Dare to Be Seen: How Intimacy Fuels Great Speaking (mini-sode)

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In this mini-episode, Lauri dives into the often-overlooked secret to great speaking: intimacy. Whether talking to one person or 10,000, the most charismatic speakers create an undeniable presence through deeply authentic connection. Lauri shares a pivotal acting class moment that transformed her approach to speaking, and offers practical insights on how vulnerability and courage can unlock your unique charisma.

TAKEAWAYS
1. Presence Requires Intimacy: True charisma comes from allowing yourself to be seen while deeply connecting with your audience.

2. Vulnerability Fuels Connection: Choosing to let down your armor creates a sacred space for mutual understanding and trust.

3. Practice Authenticity: Your one-in-eight-billion presence emerges when you let down your guard and show up fully as yourself.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Today's topic is intimacy.
Great speaking is intimate, andI mean great speaking is
intimate even if there are10,000 people in the audience.
We don't think of it that way,and yet some of us are mystified

(00:22):
about why some people havepresence, aka charisma, and
others don't.
This is part of the answer.
The great speakers are actuallyconnected in a deeply intimate
way, even if there are 10,000people watching and listening to
them.
As humans, we crave connection,intimate, deep connection, and

(00:52):
the possibility of beingrejected scares the shit out of
us.
So we try to find hacks, we tryto find shortcuts, we try to
duck under or go around or put atoe in the pool of connection,
as if we're saying you go first.
Choosing to be seen, to stepfirst into intimacy is the

(01:18):
doorway to presence.
In our very first episode, Ishared the story of an exercise
in my acting class.
I'm going to bring it up againnow.
I was doing an exercise bymyself instead of having other
people up there with me, and Ikept putting on that.

(01:39):
I'm fine face with the jawtension and the armor in front
of the heart.
Fine face with the jaw tensionand the armor in front of the
heart, my heart.
And Richard, my teacher stoppedthe exercise and said stop
doing that.
And I said I'm not thatcomfortable having everyone's
eyes on me.

(01:59):
And he said then you've pickeda strange set of careers for
yourself.
And he said then you've pickeda strange set of careers for

(02:32):
yourself.
Part of you wants this.
Part of you knows you're meantto be here and he hit a chord.
He struck a chord in my heartand soul and I knew he was right
and he held an incredibly safesacred space.
So I made a choice Heart open,I released the armor in front of
my heart, I released thetension in my jaw and the
pursing of my lips.
I went all in.
I chose to allow the room toreally see me, to know exactly
what was going on for me in thatmoment.

(02:55):
And when I was done, afterfeeling decades of fire and ice
and protection and armor andtrying to fit in and doing it
the way I thought I needed to,after choosing to allow all of
that to melt away, I looked outat my classmates and I could see

(03:16):
and feel what kind of a dayevery single one of them was
having being seen.
Being intimate begins with achoice like that one that I made
.
It's vulnerable, it's risky.
We feel utterly powerless rightas we're putting ourselves out

(03:42):
there, and it's a surrender andit's courageous.
It's a surrender and it'scourageous.
So in order to do that, asspeakers who want that great
intimate connection when we'respeaking, even if there are
10,000 people there, we need topractice doing it that way.

(04:02):
We need to choose to allow thatcrowd of people in to really
see our hearts and feel oursouls.
We need to be present in ourown bodies while connecting with
them so that we're seeing themand feeling their hearts.

(04:23):
That is what helps unleash ourone in eight billion presence,
our charisma.
That is what the charismaticspeakers have that we can't take
our eyes off of.
It's not that we need topretend to be like them.

(04:46):
This kind of intimate connectioncomes in a lot of different
flavors and shapes and sizes andforms.
It looks different and feelsdifferent on each of the 8
billion people on this planet.
Sometimes it's somewhat stilland quiet and other times that
intimate speaker is jumping upand down on tables and getting
the whole entire audience todance.
The thing that those tworadically different experiences

(05:11):
have is the interchange I'mseeing you and feeling you which
helps you feel seen and heardand understood and I'm allowing
you to see and feel me, whichalso helps you to feel safe, as
you're feeling seen and heardand understood.
So the next time you speak, tryit out, allow the crowd in to

(05:37):
really see you and take the timeto see and feel and listen to
them, and then let me know howthat feels different.