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May 26, 2025 51 mins

In this funny, honest, and free-flow interview, we delve into Philip's Catholicism and how it supports, and sometimes does not support, his life as an actor. Philip's truthfulness about his struggle to be an artist when he feels like God is only giving him crumbs (instead of the whole cookie) is something we think a lot of people will be able to resonate with and relate to.


Beautiful music by: Doug Harvey

(No cookies were harmed in the making of this episode :) 

Hosted by Ari Hader and Olivia Spirz. Follow us on IG @spodapod !



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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:12):
Hey, welcome back girls.
Hey, welcome Toda.
Hey, ah, yes.
Welcome to Spiritual Practicesof the Disgruntled Artist, where
we, uh, Olivia and Rie interviewa new artist each episode to
learn how they are keepingthemselves.
Sane and spiritually healthyduring this especially

(00:34):
challenging time to be anartist.
And every time we have a gueston, we take one of their
spiritual practices and we do itevery day for two weeks.
Mm-hmm.
And then we report back to sharehow that went.
Yeah.
What we learned.
Yeah.
So what we'll take, what we'llleave so last week we had on a
friend, Kate Neuser.
Yes.
And we actually took twodifferent practices.

(00:54):
Mm-hmm.
I took meditating.
Silently for five minutes a day.
Yep.
And I went to the ocean.
You took the water?
I took the water.
How'd that go for you?
It went really well, so.
After.
It's so funny.
After we decided on the thing, Iwas like, oh, I should have
chosen the me meditation.
'cause I have a really busyweek.
I just don't know because Katelives like 10 minutes away from

(01:17):
the ocean.
Right.
Makes sense.
For her to be going twice a weekand she acts actively surfs in
this.
I was like, oh, okay.
But I made it like I only, so Ionly made it once, is what I'm
saying.
Okay.
Alright.
I only made it once.
Um, however.
It was maybe one of the bestdays of my life, really.
Um, because now I, again, I, Ilove the water.

(01:40):
I love to swim.
I love the ocean.
Even when I was little, when wehad to leave the beach, I would
like say bye to the ocean.
Like I, so that, that's why Ikind of took it.
'cause I was like, oh, I missit.
I've been feeling Yeah.
Wanting to go to the water.
That's why I took it.
And I've also done themeditation.
Mm-hmm.
Which by the way, I actuallydid.
It, the silent meditation aswell, which I'll talk about
because I folks, she, she's aplus plus did both this week.

(02:07):
Um, but I did that because Iknew I wasn't going to make it
to the, the beach that often.
Yeah.
So however, um, I wasrecommended by my friend Tyler,
shout out to Tyler, uh, to go,'cause I really wanted to find
tide pools.
Okay.
Um,'cause usually when I'm inthe, when I go to the water, I

(02:27):
wanna be in the water.
I, sometimes, I, it's, it's likeyou can't itch the scratch when
you go visit the ocean, but youcan't touch it.
Mm.
Great.
But it's like, kind of like, oh,you don't wanna be cold.
Don't I wanna be, yes.
I don't wanna be cold, but Iwant to be in it Yes.
To feel it.
That's, that's, that's to megoing to the ocean.
Yeah.
Um, I can't surf so I can't dothat, but.

(02:49):
Uh, so I thought tide poolswould be great.
So I was recommended to go tothis place called Christmas Tree
Cove.
Okay.
This sounds great.
I want to go, uh, there are noChristmas trees.
I don't, I don't care.
Um.
And it was basically this steepcliff mm-hmm.
To go down and it was veryrocky.

(03:09):
Mm-hmm.
It was all rocks.
I wore my Birkenstocks like adummy, but I love my
Birkenstocks.
I very, I would never say this,but Birkenstocks, were not the
move I'm gonna buy.
I, this has inspired me to buywater shoes.
Okay.
Like, I was like, okay.
Yeah.
So I was like, oh, okay.
I need to be more prepared.
I, I made it safely.
I was fine.

(03:30):
Good.
But there were a lot of like, Imean, I'm talking tricky.
Yeah.
Steep cliff and then againyou're like on, you know.
Yeah.
Um, anyways, I had such a greattime.
'cause I also realized in myhead, I was like, oh, I'm going
to go to the beach, right?
Mm-hmm.
I'm just gonna go your typicalsand, you know, putting my feet
in the water and this time.

(03:52):
I had, it was so active.
Mm.
I think that's why I didn't, I,I was surprised and shocked to
how active it was, and I thinkthat's what made it so special.
Mm-hmm.
Because another thing that the,the other, like if we're talking
about what my two favoritethings to do in nature, it's
like the water, I'm swimming inthe ocean or.
It's for, for me, like JoshuaTree bouldering, like climbing
rocks.
And this was both of it.

(04:13):
Yeah.
'cause I was basically goingthrough rock, like the whole
thing was rocks.
Mm-hmm.
So I had to like hop from rockto rock and I was bouldering and
it was amazing.
And I sat on a rock.
Mm-hmm.
After I kind of like went andlooked at the tie pools and all
that, lots of crap.
That's, it felt like a, a Ghiblimovie.

(04:35):
It felt like ponyo and, um, Isat there for five minutes
mm-hmm.
And meditated silence there.
And I was like, oh, oh, look atme.
Go place the, like a mingo.
Um, yeah, it was just, it justreminded me how much I loved it.
Yeah.
I think that was just one thingI took away from it.
Kind of like the dancingpreviously uhhuh, it's like, oh,

(04:58):
yes.
We have all the tools.
We know.
We know what we like at thispoint in our lives.
I think that's what I was, I wasjust like, yes, yes.
You know, like I think likebeing in our thirties and be
like, yes, we know.
Yes, we know what we, and we canmake the time.
That's the other thing.
Make the time.
You can make the time.
Yeah.
But yeah, you're right.
Like in a way, all we're gettingat here is like, what makes

(05:19):
people feel good.
Mm-hmm.
Like it's also connected to thisgreater, sometimes, like
sometimes yeah.
Connect to like a greaterentity, a greater connection to
ourselves, you know?
But sometimes just like, what'sgonna make you feel better?
Right.
I was actually thinking aboutthis and I'm, I'm curious to
see, like, I feel like a lot ofmy.
Spirituality almost is like justjust self care.

(05:40):
Mm.
It's just like, to me it almostfeels like one in the other.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Interesting.
Um, and so yeah, it was justmagical.
It was peaceful.
I just felt so giddy.
And, and I will say too, um, Ithink it was key that I was by
myself.
Yeah.
I had invited other people, butthey couldn't come.

(06:00):
And it was nice and I was like,oh, I think.
Worked out.
Yeah.
In the way it needed to be,because I don't think I would've
had like been in this like childstate of wonder and just like
looking and you know, so yeah.
I think that's important.
I mean, I think that's why inthe artist way they have that
you take yourself on an artiststate it always seems like we're

(06:22):
pressed for time, so you'relike, I should spend it with
people instead of just going outby yourself to do something.
Yeah.
And I, and Bonnie had such agood experience with that.
It was, sounds great.
Highly recommend, but wearproper shoes.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sorry.
Book socks.
They won't be sponsoring anytimesoon.
Um, um, so how did yourmeditation go?
Okay, so I did, I did the fiveminute silent meditation.

(06:43):
I think.
I don't, I don't think I misseda day.
Maybe I missed one day, but.
The what I, I learned twothings.
One is that the first fiveminutes of any meditation for me
are, is actually just likelaundry list, like sort of mind
garbage.
I don't think I got a lot ofgood meditation in.
Okay.
However, I noticed that I wasmeditating in a lot more places
than I normally do.
So when I was waiting for thedoctor, I was like.

(07:05):
Instead of scrolling on myphone, I could meditate right
now.
Not even as like, this countsfor five minutes, my five
minutes of the day.
Like I didn't count it per se,but like I, because I didn't
need music or guided.
Mm-hmm.
And usually I do music, butbecause I was removing that
element from it.
Yeah.
I was like, I can do thiswherever because it's silent
meditation and I'm glad that itwas five minutes.

(07:26):
'cause it made me feel like evenjust like four breaths of
meditation while I'm waiting formy name to be called at the
doctor's office.
Yeah.
Counts.
To, to make me like feel lessstressed and more whole and
like, yeah.
Also like if we were to expandit like a bigger vibrational
match for like what I want bylike keeping my energy in a good
spot, so, right.
I think I learned that and Itook that away from it.

(07:48):
And I think when I startedmeditating, and that was part of
my plan was to do it in silencebecause like I want to be able
to calm down my heart and mindand body.
When like my kids are screamingat me.
Right.
You know, and there's no, it's apractical thing.
I think the meditation, when wetalk about it, I think so many
people use it for so manyreasons, it's just universal.

(08:08):
I think everyone can use itbecause.
Yeah, it, it literally justcalms your nervous system.
And like, if you think aboutlike in a big audition room or
something.
Mm-hmm.
Which I remember I met thisfriend we were like on set
friends for a commercial.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She was brought up likemeditate, whatever school she
went to.
I forgot what you said, and Idon't wanna butcher it, but like
meditation was a part of herschooling from like when she was

(08:29):
a child.
And she really rebelled againstit and like didn't like that.
But she did say like when she'sin a big audition room, she's
calm.
Like it's been ingrained in her.
Whereas I feel like theself-tape world has a lot of
issues with it because like, arepeople even watching our tapes?
How much are they watching?
But the nerves are out for me.
And like right before Covid hit,when I was finally going into

(08:50):
big rooms on studios on lots,and you're parking and you're
sweating and you, you can't findexactly where you wanna be.
And you get there like an hourand a half early because you
don't know.
And like, oh my God, like that.
Like, oh my God, like juststraight, like talking about it,
I'm sweating.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And like to be able to justremove that.
By like getting really good atmeditating in a space where just
things are going on.
Yeah.
I think that's actually reallybeneficial.

(09:12):
So I'm gonna continue, I'm gonnago back to what I was doing,
which was like 15 to 20 minutemeditation.
Right.
But I think I'm gonna keep thesilent aspect of it.
Yeah.
And see.
See what that does for me.
Also what I realized too, for meis that like any activity can
also be meditative, like makingsomething or.

(09:32):
And even like putting on all myskincare.
Mm-hmm.
Like it, I think it's just likethe, you know, the, the practice
of being present.
Mm.
In that, even if it's like, noteven five minutes, but you're
right, like the four breaths.
We can access it at any time.
You can access it at any time.
Yeah.
I think that's, that, that itunlocked that for me.
Yeah.
Good job.
Thanks.
Good job.

(09:54):
Okay.
Yay.
Let's bring on.
Our guest guest.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have aguest.
Woo.
He's an actor.
He's a writer.
Woo.
He's a director and he alsohappens to be my husband.
Ladies and gentleman.
Yay.
It's Philip Rossi.

(10:14):
Yay.
Yay.
Welcome, toda.
Thank you.
Let's set the scene.
Olivia and Phillip are sittingin children's chairs.
Oh, these are children's chairs.
Hang on a gosh dang second.
What do you mean I perfect ourchildren's chairs, in fact.
Yes.
Yes.
And we all have big mugs of teaand Oh, yes.

(10:36):
What tea are you having?
Yes.
This was inspired by Grant, butwe actually didn't do it with
Grant.
We didn't do it.
This is a shout out to Grant.
Shout out Grant.
Uh, I'm speaking of Grant.
I'm drinking ginger turmeric.
Oh, because he is a redhead.
Because he is a redhead.
Does he like ginger?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Philip, what kind of tea are youdrinking?
I'm drinking chamomile.
Yeah.
It is late.
I mean, it's late for me becausewe have children and I'm

(10:58):
exhausted.
That's true.
Uh, but for a normal person,this would not be, yeah.
Late.
And I'm drinking peppermint tea.
And the mugs were given to us byPhilip's sister.
And what I love about them isthat they remind me of the
Gilmore girls.
Remember how they had those bigmugs?
Yes.
And she was always like, I needmore coffee.
I need, it needs to be like in abowl, a bowl size, amount of

(11:19):
coffee.
Mm-hmm.
I would be drinking coffee, butwhat I, what is this?
It says sunflowers and puppies,cotton, that it's all like happy
things.
I think it's happy things.
Ugh.
That was an inside joke Thatisn't do dunk.
But wait, it's not a jokeanymore.
Yeah, I mean it just doesn'texist.
All our 12,000 listeners arereally jealous whether or not

(11:40):
inside joke.
Oh girl.
We're all jealous.
Including myself.
It's like some card game.
Anyway, um, anyways, thank youfor being here and yours has
nothing.
Oh yeah.
It's a really blank slate.
It's wiped off.
Yeah.
Blank slate.
That's who I am right now.
I'm in the void.
You know?
You are.
Okay, Philip?
Yes.
Feel free.
No pressure.
Yeah, sure.

(12:01):
Would you like to pull an Oraclecard or take three breaths with
us together?
Ooh, I love that.
Please take three.
Three breaths.
Yes.
Okay.
And we're gonna circle backaround to why that is, girls.
Okay.
Safe.
And you can do this with usfolks.
Okay.

(12:33):
Okay.
I love that.
Breathing's good.
Now we're all in the same spacetogether.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It always feels like actingclass.
Yeah, it does.
Right.
Definitely centered.
Um, okay, so let's just jumpright in.
Let's, so yeah, Philip, tell meabout your spirituality.
Um, I am Catholic.

(12:54):
Mm-hmm.
And I was raised Catholic andfrom there do stem most of my
spiritual practices.
Sure.
Yep.
Great.
So what are you doing like on aday-to-day basis?
Spirituality wise?
Yeah.
Uh, like cons consistently, or,I feel like it goes through
phases for sure.

(13:14):
Right now, what are you findingyourself to do right now?
Right now, I think the mostconsistent thing I do is on my
way into work.
I always, uh, like pray.
The first thing I do is get, getmy car and I pray to have, uh, a
safe drive'cause it's LosAngeles.
And, uh, wow man, I need that.
And then, uh, three days a weekI take our daughter who's four

(13:35):
to school and we, we praytogether, we start off with, you
know, praying for a safe ride.
And then, uh, we pray, uh, thatwe have a good day and, uh, we
don't get hurt and we have funand we come home safely.
And then we pray, uh, for peoplewho we feel like need our
prayers.
Do you pray to Jesus or God, orboth?

(13:57):
Is it different who you pray toat different times?
Oh, well that's interesting, RIEbecause, uh, the, the
theological underpinning is thatof, uh, Christianity in general
is the Trinity.
What a fun podcast, which isthat Jesus and God and the Holy
Spirit are distinct.

(14:18):
Entities, but are are the samething.
But then so do you pray to eachone for a different thing or you
just pray not really talking toa specific finding?
Um, yeah, I think, uh, I pray toGod or Jesus sort of
interchangeably like.
You know.

(14:39):
Okay.
Not the Holy Spirit.
Not as much.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
Holy Spirit.
Sorry.
Later about that.
No, but that's interestingbecause I, I feel like most
people that I know who do prayto God or Jesus is, it's like, I
think, think just that, youknow?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I think the holy like, uh, theHoly Spirit is more difficult to

(15:00):
like grasp.
You know, because there's uh,there's a whole bunch of books
of the Bible that talk aboutGod.
Mm-hmm.
And then, you know, like halfwaythrough the thing, Jesus shows
up and there's a bunch ofstories about Jesus and you're
like, okay, I know these guyspretty well, but like the Holy
Spirit is just sort of like,like in the background.
Oh, okay.
I did not know that.
I have not read the Bible.
So.
Unfamiliar.

(15:20):
I'm unfamiliar, but yes.
Get off this podcast.
I, I think the, the closest.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're gone.
Like, the closest it gets tobeing like, there's a Holy
Spirit, y'all is like, Jesusgets baptized and they're like,
uh, God's spirit descends downupon him and it says like a
dove.
That's it.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.

(15:41):
So like.
That's, I'm sure if people aremore learned than me will be
like at home taking notes.
I'm sure you have a lot of,like, Catholics have 12,000
Orthodox people scribbling down.
Like this guy doesn't knowanything, but like, that's the
closest like description.
So like if you go to like achurch and the Holy Spirit is
represented, it's normally adove, like the metaphor, but

(16:02):
like what does that mean?
Does that mean it looked like adove?
Does that mean like.
If it fluttered around a bunchand pooped on someone before it
landed on Jesus, like the HolySpirit pooped on me.
See?
'cause I have, I have God, theuniverse and spirit guides.
Mm-hmm.
But I will say, I feel likewe've talked about, I talked to
the spirit guides most, but Ialso, I feel that's, see, that's
interesting one.

(16:22):
Oh, what's the, what's the, thespirit guides.
What, what is the spirit guidesto you?
I have four of them.
It's my podcast now.
I have four of them.
Mm-hmm.
I have.
Grandma Ellie.
Sure.
Your grandma?
Yeah, that's my grandma.
Interestingly, not my grandma.
Right.
Which we've discussed off mic.
Yes.
Which I felt bad about for awhile.
But then Kate, friend of the poduh, was like, maybe your grandma

(16:44):
was tired.
Your grandma has other people tolook over right now on the
bench.
Like if I needed her and like,yeah.
Okay.
So it's Grandma Ellie.
Sure.
It's um, Zach, who was a studentof mine who passed away from
Leukemia when he was a teenager.
Sure.
It's Rich Dunn.
Mm-hmm.
My friend, and it's, uh,Marguerite who just recently
passed away.

(17:04):
Mm-hmm.
And I feel like the way I knewwas when those people passed
away, I didn't feel like theywere gone.
Mm.
It was like not quite a fullbody sadness.
It was like they're on my team.
And then also I feel like I willtalk to people.
I think that's how I knew.
I thought my grandma was on myspirit guide team and my uncle.

(17:24):
And then it just didn't, likewhen I was trying to talk to
them, I didn't feel like.
There's not always a responsefor me.
Like sometimes there is if I'mmeditating.
Sometimes there is, but theredidn't feel like there was an
energy back to me.
Interesting.
Hmm.
You have, you have.
I do not.
Okay.
We'll let you know.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Well, I find your spirit guidesvery interesting.
'cause that also feels like avery Catholic tradition of the

(17:47):
saints.
Mm-hmm.
Like, uh, because, uh, you prayto God like God answers prayers
or Jesus or Jesus who is alsoGod.
And that's crazy, but it's notthe same as Jesus.
But they're the same thing.
Confusing.
Yes.
Um, uh, I don't think I'm gonnaget that.
Yeah.
But I also don't get how mythree are different, so I think
I'm, we're just gonna be okaywith, yeah.

(18:07):
Okay.
So, but the, the Catholictradition behind Saints is that,
okay.
So to be a saint, step numberone must be dead.
Okay.
Just right off the top of thebat.
You can't be like, I was gonnasay name and I'll do it.
Nope.
Step number one, you dad, uh,step number two.
Mm-hmm.

(18:28):
You're in heaven.
Actually, those are the only twosteps.
Like, you're dead and you're inheaven.
So everyone Okay.
Wait.
Continue.
Yes, everyone.
My question was like, everyonein heaven is a saint.
That's right.
That's right.
Uh, everyone in heaven is asaint, but like for the, the
church, uh, big C, the church,the Catholic church to recognize
you as a Saint, Saint saintCheese.

(18:49):
Nope.
We'll have to cut.
That gotta sound so smart onthis podcast.
No, you already sounded toosmart.
So we're gonna do that.
Okay, good.
Yeah.
Um, it's like, they're like, howdo we know that you're in
heaven?
You know?
Okay.
And the way you know is because,uh, the Catholic tradition is
like, you've got saints, saintsare in heaven, so therefore,
like closer to God, right?
Mm-hmm.
And so like, if you wantsomething from God, you pray to

(19:11):
God, but you're also like, uh,call up your favorite saint.
And it'd be like, by the way,would you bug God for me?
Like, that's you expedite thismessage.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, like, we need morepetitioners.
Like, uh, it's your personallobbyists.
You're like, Hey, I, I, youknow, I need help.
My foot is broken.
And then you're like, I'm, I'mlike to bug some saints look up

(19:32):
this patron saint of likeailments or something.
And you're like, yo, youspecialize, your special
interest is ailments.
Please like intercede.
For me, that's the, that's thevocab word.
And please pray to God for me onmy behalf about this thing.
So like your thing.
Mm-hmm.
Interestingly, that's a verycatholic tradition, like Saint

(19:53):
tradition, these are people,like, do you pray to them about
different things?
Question?
Yes.
I have a question.
Question, question from thesmall blue chair.
Um, yes.
Thank you.
Do you believe in angels?
Yes.
So Angels and Saints feel verysimilar to me right now.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
So the, what's the difference?
The, uh, tradition is that, uh,angels.

(20:13):
We're never people.
But do you believe in angels?
Yeah, I believe in angels.
Do do you have like an angelthat is yours?
Do you ever talk to the Angels?
I don't, but I, I believethey're, there's traditional,
like every, the tradition that,like everyone has a guardian
angel, the person that'sspecifically there, that person,
the angel that's there to belike, I'm here for you.
Guardian angel.

(20:34):
Uh, but And are your guardianangels someone you knew in your
life?
'cause that's what, no, no,because like gar, the angel is
its own thing.
It's own thing.
That's so funny.
'cause I always think guardianangels are Yeah.
Are people are like, whensomeone passed, they become your
guardian angel.
Right, right.
So I've always spirit.
Yeah.
That's more of a, yeah.
It's more of a spirit guy.

(20:54):
Oh, okay.
Okay.
So wait, I have a question.
Yes.
So you pray every morning.
Mm-hmm.
But what other things do you doto keep yourself like mentally
healthy?
Not much.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
What are, because you saidearlier, you know that you go
through phases.
Mm-hmm.
Is there some practice that youwant to do or start

(21:17):
incorporating that you thinkwould make you.
Um, feel better or whatever.
Yes.
But it's not really a spiritualpractice, just like Okay, okay.
Just like exercising yeah.
Like I, uh, I went through areally bad, bout of depression
one time.
I was like, ah, I don't knowwhat to do and all this stuff.
I'm praying, I feel like no oneto answering my prayers.
Like I just feel awful.

(21:37):
And, uh, I talked to like atherapist, not helpful at all.
And I was like, I'm gonna talkto my priest'cause of that
particular therapist.
We should say, not that alltherapy is, I would never
suggest that all therapy is bad.
Well, I, that one wasspecifically bad.
Clarify that.
Okay.
It was a specifically badtherapist.
Yes.
Not good for you.
So you talked to your priest.

(21:57):
Sure, sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The therapist started theconversation by arguing like,
she was like, you're an actor.
And I was like, yes.
She's like, where did you study?
And I, I named, dropped theplace I studied and she started
arguing with me about what theyteach.
And I was like.
She was like a failed actor.
I went, yeah.
She was like a failed actor.
And I was like, I went, oh no, Iwas likes gets comedy, comedy
sketch right there.
If it wasn't so sad, it would'vebeen funny.

(22:18):
Yeah, yeah.
I was like, I went there forfour years, I think I would know
what they teach.
And she's like, no, that's notwhat they teach.
And I was like, this, thissucks.
Good time.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
So not, yeah.
So I went, I went and talked tomy priest and we talked a long
time about, you know, stuffthat's going on.
Um, and he was like.
Need to exercise.
She'll like, get your heart workrate up, get out there, do
stuff.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Like that.

(22:39):
Like you would expect.
She was a priest.
It was like first, you know,dump some incense on your head
and stuff.
It was like very practical.
It was like, go for exercise, godo that.
I was like, how's stuff goingwith your wife?
And I was like, good.
And he was like, you're sleepingwith her.
And I was like.
Yep.
He was like, good.
That's good.
Barry.
Oh, no.
Air can't take it.
Although we have two children, Ishut.

(22:59):
She does not want anyone to knowthat we've ever slept together.
What?
I slowly, literally just shuther face the door.
She literally had the cover herface.
She couldn't look at Olivia, herface.
I think Olivia knew that we.
Slept together before we, ourchildren room.
I have my suspicion.
Um, okay.
Okay.
Um, when you're praying, do youfeel like you get a response

(23:21):
back part to yourself?
Um, I don't know.
I think, um, I think sometimes,but, in my experience, it's not
like a.
Like a voice that's like, yeah,you know, your complaint has
been registered or like, we'reon it.

(23:43):
It's more like, I'm like, why isthis happening?
This is the thing that I'm drawnto.
This is what I'm strugglingwith.
And then like years later inhindsight, I'm like, oh, I see
the, the plan now that I couldnot see it from where I was
standing.
Do you have an example of that?
I do have an example of that.
Okay.
Um, I, uh, I was in high school,and I, I really liked playing

(24:04):
soccer.
Mm-hmm.
But also I was interested inacting and I was at tryouts and
I had to go to like an actingcamp.
Okay.
And I was gonna have to leavelike two days early.
And I talked to the coach and Iwas like, is that gonna be a
problem?
I, he's like, no, it's, it's notgonna be a problem.
I was like, I really wanna dothese two things.
They're different.
Like the season is notconflicted by me going to this
acting camp.

(24:25):
I was like, yeah, no worries.
And then the last day, I waslike, so I have to leave, but
you know, we good.
And he was like, yeah, yeah,you're not on the team.
Like you can't be here.
If you can't be here, you can'tbe on the team.
And I was just devastated.
Like I played soccer for like,10 years.
And I went to this acting camp.
And I was really pissed.
'cause I, yeah.
Did you know you, how did thatfeel?

(24:45):
Go like, yeah.
Were were you excited still?
Or were you I, I think I was,eh, I, I can't remember.
Like, I, what I really rememberis like being really upset about
Yeah.
And it, it was like JV soccer,so there was no progressing
anymore.
Like that was it.
I was done playing soccer, so Ididn't make the JBT and it's not
like they were gonna let me onthe next year and there was no
other option at that point.

(25:06):
Uh, and that really sucked.
I was like.
I played for this long.
I really loved doing it.
And now I was just gone and I,and I was angry and maybe I
prayed or maybe I was just like,why God?
Yeah.
Yeah, it sucks.
Like why?
Like why, why say yes and thentake it away?
And then years, years laterlooking back on it that is when,
that was like the pivot from mebeing like acting maybe to

(25:29):
acting like, I guess I'm gonnathrow myself into that.
Right?
And I had like a really greatsummer and really put me on the
course.
I have two questions.
Yes.
One, does that help you in anysort of current state of strife
where you're able to be like, inthe future, this is gonna make
sense?
Because that's been proven to mebefore, through my spirituality.

(25:49):
I, you would think you wouldhope so, but I feel like, uh,
mostly what approves is that,like the picture will make more
sense when you're not standingin it, you know?
Mm-hmm.
But you don't know like, whatthe picture will be of, you hope
that when you're done, you'relike, that was a tough spot.
And here I am in this bright,beautiful world and like, look

(26:09):
how far I've come.
But you could also look back inretrospect and be like, yeah,
that was the beginning of theend of that thing.
And like, that really sucks andit sucks.
And there's still like a hole inmy heart about that thing.
And like there's no way ofknowing, right?
What, what That will be questiontwo, but, and then, okay.
No, you go.
No, no.
Do you, and this goes with whatyou're saying of.

(26:31):
Do you feel like God truly has aplan for you?
That was my question.
That was your question.
Basically.
Basically was my question.
Yeah.
Slash yes, I do trust him.
That that's, that's a Or her orher or her?
Them.
Them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
I feel like God has a plan forme.
Do I trust them?

(26:54):
Yes.
However, I feel like I, I havelike desires and wants and
passions.
Mm-hmm.
And like part of the Christianexperience is being like, you,
you can have all these things,but at the end, gotta let God
decide and the idea is that Godhas a plan for you that is
better than any of your plans.
But like, but what about myplans?

(27:15):
Olivia?
Yeah.
What about, what about the stuffthat like, I, I want and what if
his plan is like nowhere near myplan and that sucks.
Right?
That's true.
But then don't you feel like,'cause I, we've talked about
this on when we were talkingabout my stuff, which is I felt
like I had to trust that.
If it wasn't what I wanted, itwould not feel like I was

(27:36):
killing something.
Mm-hmm.
It would not feel like a death.
I would not feel a sadness.
I would feel a light and like ajoy to the plan.
Hmm, yes.
That, that is a more evolved,uh, feeling that I hope to
achieve one day.
But that to me, it, to me itfeels like, like, uh, when one
of our kids at the end of thenight is like, I want.
A cookie that is my true heart'sdesire.

(28:00):
And you know, she's four.
So like that is all consuming.
I want a cookie.
She means it.
Yeah, she means it.
She means like that is reallywhat I most desperately want in
the world and as her parents.
Like God is our parent is, islike, you don't need another,
that's not what's best for you.
It won't make you feel good,it's gonna erect your teeth or,

(28:20):
or whatever.
Mm-hmm.
And like then we put our childto bed crying because they
really wanted the cookie whenthey wake up, if you ask them
like, you didn't get yourcookie, but, how much better do
you feel?
She will not be like, you'reright.
I, I feel great about thecookie.
She will start crying again andbe like, I wanted that cookie so

(28:42):
bad, and I didn't get thecookie.
Now, maybe if we ask her in 15years, she won't remember the
cookie or, or she'll be like,that was fine.
You were right.
My teeth are great now, but I'mnot 15 years older.
I am.
I am a 4-year-old now cryingabout my cookie.
What if instead of your cake wasa brownie though?
You know what I'm saying?

(29:02):
Like in your situation, it'sstill our daughter.
Yeah, yeah.
As you Yes.
In this metaphor.
Yeah.
It's saying it's gettingcomplicated now.
It's getting complicated.
It's saying, but I didn't getthe cookie and I wanted the
cookie.
What I got was sleep, which isnot a sweet treat at all.
I, for me it is totally, to betotally honest, but like not for
a 4-year-old.
Yeah.
So.
If it wasn't you, you, we don'thave a cookie, but you have a,

(29:27):
an enormous piece of cake.
Yeah.
Would she care about the cookie?
No.
So I think, and is that true?
Because I feel like if we askedour daughter and we were like, I
think that's true, we could giveher the co, the cake and then as
she's going to sleep, she'd belike.
But I really wanted the cookie,she'd be excited about the cake,
but she would also feel aprofound disappointment about
not having the thing that shehad set her mind on this, this

(29:48):
how you feel about your cookie.
Yes, that's how I feel about mycookie.
Okay.
This is'cause you set your mindon it.
How much of it is just becauseyou decided it?
I don't know.
Are you able to?
No.
How am I supposed to, how am Isupposed to know that?
Did it trigger you?
Personal question, and then I'mgonna kick it over to you.
Okay?
Mm-hmm.
I forgot my question, but, oh,hopefully, hopefully it'll
answer.

(30:11):
Did it, did it or does ittrigger you that I, with this
similar career and question,have found myself being like, if
it's not this, it's gonna be abrownie.
Like if it's not this, it's abrownie or a cake, it's not.
No cookie and it's not the deathof a cookie.

(30:32):
Has it triggered you?
No.
Your, uh, acceptance of brownieand replace of cookie does not
trigger me.
I think, uh, I strugglefrequently with the amount of
cookies on your plate and thebarrenness of my own.
Okay.

(30:53):
Okay.
Do meaning opportunities.
Yeah.
Okay.
We've now taken the cookie.
We've like, we've messed thismetaphor up a little bit here.
No, I don't think so.
I, I'm back with it.
I hope everyone at home all did,but, okay.
So for you, the cookie, are wetalking just like in general,
artistic, fulfill fulfillment,artistic fulfillment.
Okay, great.

(31:14):
But you want that specificcookie?
Yeah.
Are you, will, are.
Would you ever consider.
Like Ari, or like, I, I,'causeI'm very similar too.
Like I have this, like, if ithappens, it happens, but I am
doing everything I can to dothis.
Yeah.
But I also am,, perspective iseverything is like, you know,

(31:35):
I'm healthy, I have this, I havethis.
So I'm, I'm grateful for thethings I have.
And you know, so we get intothat.
I feel like I'm going off topic,but like.
Does does the idea of God'splan.
Mm-hmm.
When, when things, when youdon't get your cookie.
Mm-hmm.
Does God's plan, does that, doesthat give you solace?

(31:56):
Like, does that, does that help?
Mm.
Uh, sometimes.
Sometimes I think sometimes itdepends on the day and how I'm
feeling and.
Yeah.
How long it's been since I'veeaten a cookie.
Right?
Yeah.
I have one more.
And have you ever doubted andGod, yeah.

(32:21):
Okay.
I think so.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
I think, I think faith has like,got to be a choice.
Yeah.
You know, just like if, if like,faith is a form of love, uh,
like love is also a choice.
Like you have to keep choosingit.
You know?
Mm-hmm.
And you're just like, oh, I'm inlove.
And like That's great.
Yeah.
And like, and just let it sit inthe corner somewhere.

(32:43):
Like that's not right.
You have to practice.
It's a relationship.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You gotta, exactly.
It's a relationship with God andyou have to practice faith.
Right.
Just like you practice love and,and some days you're like, my
love does not feel like the loveI want to feel.
We have to keep chipping away atit.
Right.
You know?
Yeah.
Do you remember the biggestcrisis of faith that you had?

(33:04):
I don't know.
I feel like less crisis offaithy and more like.
Tevy and Fiddler on the Roofwhere he is like, why me?
Like, why, why is it gotta be sodifficult?
Everyone else is like, you can sit, you can sing the song.
Okay.
You wanna it?
Yeah.
I don't wanna sing the song.
Engagement.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

(33:25):
If it's so terrible to have allthis success and it's like, why
can't I have it?
Yeah.
It'll just gimme a little bit.
Mm hmm.
You know, you know, somethingthat Philip is good at that both
me and Olivia have discovered weare working on mm-hmm.
Is like, I feel that you reallybelieve that you can have it
all, and it can all be good.
And like we both have this thingthat we're working on of, if

(33:46):
something is good, it has to becounterbalance with something
bad.
That's like a, a limitingbelief.
Yeah.
It kind of goes into like myideolog of like, well, I'm
grateful for this at least,like, I at least have this, so
I'm not gonna rock the boat.
If that means I'm, you know,that's exactly what brought up
for me was when you said that.
Yeah.
Because I don't feel like youthink that way though.
I don't, I don't think that way.
I feel like that, I don't knowabout you Olivia, but with Rie I

(34:09):
feel like, it is a, that thatthought process mm-hmm.
Is a form of control.
It's like the only bit ofcontrol she has over the stuff.
A hundred percent.
You know, for me it's like, it'slike that thing you have, I
don't know if you have this, butlike, if I can run to the end of
the sidewalk Yes.
Without taking a breath, thenthis thing will happen.

(34:30):
I've done that.
You know, like in so many weirdlittle things.
Yeah, exactly.
Because superstition is so bakedin spirituality.
That's because it's governed onone of these episodes.
I don't know, one of the onesdon't do that, but I think, is
superstition.
Spirituality or is it thebastard offshoot of spirituality
where you're like, this is my,uh, like effort where I get to

(34:50):
control the spirit, the mysticspirituality, you know, like so
much of spirituality I think islike, there's stuff out there
and it's our access andcommunication to that.
But like, you don't get a lot ofcontrol.
You have control over your ownpractices, but you don't get to
control what the greater truthis.
I'm so glad we're recordingthat.

(35:10):
What, I'm gonna play that backto you'cause you just, you've
heard it here, but, but that'syour, what you're saying here is
that, that's your issue is thatyou want it to be your cookie.
Yes.
So you recognize that you don'thave control.

(35:31):
You feel like you caught me.
I agree with you.
I recognize that I still wantthe cookie.
Okay.
Like, so how?
Okay.
But like, but like in the, the,the superstition method, I'd be
like, but I can have the cookie.
If I sit with my arms crossed ina certain way and I don't blink
for three minutes, then thecookie will come to me.
Are you superstitious?
I don't think I am.

(35:52):
What about Oracle cards whilewe're on superstition?
You're just really bouncingaround here.
Well, no, we're not really,because you didn't wanna pull an
Oracle card, which I knew.
Mm-hmm.
But I, I'm trying to pretendlike you're a guest on my
podcast, so I'm not married toyou.
Mm-hmm.
But what's the story behindthat?
Because that feels almost like,what's the, why don't you feel
comfortable with Oracle cards?

(36:12):
They, I don't know.
They just creep me out.
A creep.
Yeah.
Because you feel like it'scalling in some sort of spirit
or is it perhaps a superstition?
Um, the, uh, spiritual, theCatholic spiritual teaching
would be that like, uh,something like with a tarot card

(36:33):
is first of all that thespiritual world is real like.
Off the bat, spiritual world isreal.
Right.
And that they're good spirits.
Yeah.
And bad spirits.
And when you engage in somespiritual practices, it's like
picking up, uh, the phone anddialing a random number.
You don't know.
Okay.
Who you'll get is thetraditional teaching on that.

(36:55):
So I'm like, I just don't wannamess around with that.
Uh, and this is for'cause, uh,there is a difference between
tarot and Oracle card.
It's educate me.
So the tarot is the set deckthat starts with a fool that
ends with the world and also haslike the cups and the swords.
It's the more like recognizablethat it's like a set deck.

(37:15):
Mm-hmm.
Oracle is like a made up deck.
They, it has probably verysimilar, but they, it's not like
a set thing that's thedifference.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and the tarot deck basicallyfollows the story.
Like the major ANA cards, whichis like the, the, the more
popular faced ones.

(37:35):
Mm-hmm.
Follow the story of the fool andyou follow his journey.
Okay.
I guess in, in the end they'reboth, cards tapping into the
spiritual world.
Mm-hmm.
So, and I don't think there'sanything wrong with tapping in
the spiritual world, per se?
Right.
I think the, I think thereticence is like, the most
extreme version of this would bea seance, like I'm contacting

(37:57):
like an entity, right.
That I don't necessarily know,necessarily know.
So do you know that there aredark entities?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Like Dark Angels or like, isthere a name for that?
Is it?
Yeah, they're called demons.
Demons, yeah.
Okay.
Damons Damons.
Okay.

(38:17):
But I, I think there's good inthe world, just like there's
evil.
I mean, just like in people.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
This podcast is going placeswe're heck yeah.
Digging into it.
I have a question.
But I almost wrote it down and,and asked Olivia to say it too.
'cause I feel like when I sayit.
It's gonna sound reallyjudgmental, so I'm just gonna,

(38:37):
I'm gonna not look at you andI'm gonna smile the whole way.
Okay.
I'm gonna look at you.
I'm okay.
How are you changing the factthat you feel like you just are
looking for this one cookie withthe knowledge that you have of
it not being in your control?
Do you wanna rephrase thatwithout the cookie thing?

(38:59):
'cause like, what if the cookiething gets lost, then its
metaphor is.
You know, 10 minutes ago we saidcookie so many times.
Yes.
Ooh, this is, we're gonna callthis one the cookie monster H
fault cookie.
Yeah.
Um, okay.
How are you reckoning mm-hmm.
With the fact that you want thisthing so badly mm-hmm.
Acting career, but you have theknowledge that it's not in your

(39:22):
control.
Yeah.
And those two things are at oddswith each other.
Mm-hmm.
Are you reckoning with that?
And if so, how?
Um.
Yeah, I think I, I'm, I'm doingthings to expand, like, so I'm
trained as an actor.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and I've resisted for a longtime, like writing.

(39:44):
Oh.
Uh, because I'm like, I, I wantto act.
And people are always like,well, you wanna act and no one's
giving you a job.
Like, you should writesomething.
And my response is always that'ssomeone else's job.
I don't, I don't wanna have totake on a whole second career.
Yeah.
Just to do the first career thatI wanted to do and to begin
with.
Um, so I resisted that for areally long time, but recently,
like in the last year, I'vestarted writing something with

(40:06):
some friends.
Yeah.
And it's, and it's felt veryartistically fulfilling.
It is not fulfilling in the sameway that acting is, but it is
fulfilling in, in a differentway, a brownie, if you will.
A brownie, even though what Ireally want is a cookie.
Yeah, I get that.
I think that's, I do get to eatsomething, which is nice.
I think that's smart.
'cause I'm very similar.

(40:27):
I think boat too, where Ihaven't reached my acting career
where I want, not even close.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not even close.
Mm-hmm.
You know, I've been here for 10years and LA and it does help
doing other projects.
Wearing other caps, even thoughwhat I would love is just to be

(40:48):
cast.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just cast me.
Yeah.
You know, and, and I have beenencouraged, and I do love like
writing, I've done, you know,wrote sketch and produced and
stuff like that.
And it, it does, yeah.
You're right.
And like, it's, it's a brownie.
It feels good.
Yeah.
Um, yeah.
That's great.
Yeah.
That, I mean, that's the trickwith the, fine arts, right?

(41:09):
Well, the collaborative artform.
Mm-hmm.
Is that like, it's.
You need the other parts.
And fortunately, the writer'supstream, so like you could
write and get something at theend of it.
And even if it doesn't getproduced, at least you'd be
like, I, I did this thing.
Yeah.
But if you're like a director oran actor, you're like, well, the
thing has to, I'm down thechain.
Someone's gotta hire me.

(41:29):
Yeah.
That's annoying.
Do you feel like there will be atime where you're just like I
have faith that.
I'm not gonna fight the plan.
The plan is gonna happen to mewithout it being like, I'm not
working hard.
We've talked about this a lot'cause I feel like hard, don't
think you can fight the plan.
Like I don't how, how do youmeant, I mean, you're mentally
fighting the plan.

(41:51):
I think Yes, I can, I can chafeat the plan, but like certainly.
But like what do you, do you seein your future time where you
just accept that this is theplan and like.
This is the plan.
Yeah.
You know, Uhhuh, or do you justthink that that's not in the
cards for you right now?
Do you think you will not acceptthe plan until the plan is going
the way you want it to?

(42:12):
I, I think there's a good chancethat I will not enjoy the plan
until it's going in a morepositive direction.
You know, I, I think the thingthat I really struggle with is
like the baseline idea, like.
God loves us each and wants usto be happy.
Uh, and what if God's plan forme, where he loves me and wants

(42:32):
to be happy is like doingsomething that's not what I want
to, not acting at all.
Right.
Like not creative at all.
Right.
It's like raising chickens on afarm.
Right.
Do you feel like God's plan isacting for you?
I don't know.
Okay.
It, it feels like if it's not,why put me in this position?
Like why?

(42:54):
And every time I'm like, this isdriving me crazy.
Mm-hmm.
I get like the tiniest littlecookie crumb of like, that's
what I was gonna say, but maybeyou should sting around, you
know?
Yeah.
And then I'm like, great.
Where's the rest of the cookie?
And cookie's not gone.
You're right.
You're not gonna be able to cutout cookie.
The cookie's been mentioned.
Yeah.
Um, and like you said, not untilyou are standing outside the

(43:16):
painting, which I thought thatwas a great Yeah.
Little metaphor.
You know, love that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And if you believe that Godwants, loves you and wants you
to be happy, and his end planoutside the painting is like
fill up on a chicken farm, Iwould be happy in theory.
Mm-hmm.
But where I'm standing now, Ifeel like if you told me you'll
be happy on Chicken Farm and belike, but there will be a hole

(43:37):
in my heart where this thingthat I really am passionate
about.
Is supposed to be.
And it's not out there with thechickens.
You are not performing.
Yeah.
Hamlet for chickens.
Yeah, exactly.
Chickens.
Yeah.
That's hard.
Yeah.
And I think that's Aries endlessfrustration with me.

(43:59):
It's like, if, if this, and ifthis and if this, then why can't
you just like be zen about it?
And I think I, uh.
I just really struggle withbeing chill about it.
Maybe if I had more faith, I, Iwould be like, that's God's plan
and I'm just gonna roll with it.
But like, as a person, I amhardwired to be yeah.
Um, a couple things before Iforgot one, I just feel like I

(44:23):
wanna reiterate this.
The times when it's been thehardest, most soul destroying
for you.
The, I feel the universe hassent you, you call it crumbs,
but like a callback, a booking,but of a commercial or whatever.
Mm-hmm.
So to me, I just wonder ifthere's some.
Inner work that could be donesurrounding the proof that has

(44:44):
been given to you that would getyou closer to the goal of what
you want?
I mean, listen, on my best days,I like get in my car with my
daughter on my way to her schooland say a prayer and it's like
about how thankful I am for.
You know, my beautiful wife andmy healthy, beautiful children

(45:05):
and like a place to live and asecure job.
And all the great things, thegreat blessings that I have.
It's so much easier to be thank,to be thankful.
I'm like a, a day when I'm in agood spot.
Mm-hmm.
On my best days, my, my prayersare about how blessed I am and

(45:28):
being really thankful for that.
Yeah.
But like, not every day is ourbest day.
Yeah.
You okay there?
It's hard.
Yeah.
I think ultimately that's kindof what we, at least what I,
what I thought about doing thispodcast, and I think we all are

(45:53):
trying to find what it is onthose days.
Mm-hmm.
What's gonna help us.
Yeah.
That is what, what we'reseeking.
You know?
Yeah.
And finding that.
Wow.
So if it's someone's worst daytoday, what do you recommend
they do?
Yeah.
What do you recommend us to dofor two weeks?
Oh, well, that also, but let'ssay somebody, oh, one of the

(46:15):
12,000 listeners are listeningto this and they're on their
worst day.
Oh, okay.
What do you tell them to doright now?
I, I say from my, uh, infiniteplace of wisdom where I've got
it all figured out here.
I would say, say a prayer aboutwhatever you're going through.

(46:35):
You know, like even if you don'thave a, a praying practice, be
like, God, this thing'shappening and it sucks and it's
awful and I wish was better.
Please help me.
And then I would do something toget your heart rate up.
Go for a run, dance, do somepushups.

(46:57):
Dance.
Dance video.
Yeah, yeah.
Sleep with your hot wife,whatever you got going on.
Like something to make you feellike a human being.
Don't cut that out.
That's important.
No, that's advice from a priest.
You should say that in.
Um, and, uh, that's so funny.
Like, and then like eat acookie.
You know, like do, do somethingthat like.

(47:19):
Brings that, you know, bringsyou joy.
Yeah.
That, that is good advice.
You know, that's good advice.
I'm just really obsessed withlike, cookie.
What, what is your cookie?
This is kind of like, not subspiritual.
Mm-hmm.
But like, what, what is your,what's your cookie?
What's your, what's your, your,like, favorite actual cookie?
Favorite, uh, or your not, itdoesn't have to be a sweet treat
or it could be.
Mm-hmm.
But like, what's the thing thatmakes you happy?
I would say it's on my mind.

(47:40):
'cause I gave up sweets forLent, so it's just like, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Um, yeah, I think, uh, it'slike.
A glass of wine.
Okay.
Or like a, a whiskey.
Mm.
And something sweet, likechocolate chip cookie scoop of
peanut butter.
Oh yeah.
I love a scoop of peanut butter.

(48:00):
Uh, you know, and then, and thenplay a video game.
Watch a show that I like, read abook.
I don't get a lot of chance toread a book, sometimes book on
tape, but like, something that Ijust like, I, these are things
that I know I like.
Mm-hmm.
And even when I don't feel likedoing them, I feel better.
Okay.
Doing that.
Doing it.

(48:20):
That's good.
Okay.
So we need to pick a practice ofyours that we do for two weeks.
So what I have written down, Ihave a notebook, everyone.
Yes.
It's yellow.
I, I, when you offered me anotebook, I wanted to picked the
yellow one.
You were, I thought you weretoo.
I thought you, I would've givenyou the yellow one.
No, no, no.
That's why I'm glad you used areusing one.
Okay.
It's for usda.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Sure.

(48:41):
Um, okay, so I have the morningprayer.
I also have thankful prayer,which I like.
I have a gratitude journal asyou know, but it's not a prayer,
it's written.
Right.
I think there's something aboutlike speaking.
Yeah.
Say it.
That's important.
Yeah.
Just say it out loud.
Yeah.
Like what do you think aboutthat?
I love that.
And also, I also was justcurious too, what about days,

(49:02):
like you always mentioned it inyour car.
Mm-hmm.
Is that your favorite place topray?
Gosh, I think it's not myfavorite place to pray Uhhuh,
but it's somehow, it's the placewhere I'm least distracted.
Yeah.
By like everything else.
Right?
Yeah.
You know, it's like it's part ofa routine, which is good, like
mm-hmm.
I'm doing this.
And like I have to leave earlyin the morning, so like, it's

(49:23):
quiet.
There's not really anythinggoing on and like I can turn off
the radio and I don't have, Ican't literally cannot do
anything else but drive, youknow?
Mm-hmm.
I have no option.
There's no phone to getdistracted by.
There's no like dishes to do.
Yeah.
It's, I find it like a reallygreat, nice.
Okay.
Place to pray.
I was just wondering.

(49:44):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love that question.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'll try praying.
I never.
Well, I only prayed when I was akid.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Who were you gonna pray?
I was just thinking that two.
I think I will pray to MotherEarth.
Yeah.
Yes, actually.

(50:05):
Yeah.
Okay.
That feels So for two weeks inthe morning, we'll do a thankful
prayer.
Okay.
I love that.
Okay, great.
Yay.
Yay.
Thanks, Illa.
This is wonderful.
Do you wanna plug or any, any,cause you wanna say, donate your
time and money to this causetoo?

(50:25):
No pressure.
No pressure, I mean, or anythingyou're excited about?
Yeah.
I, I feel like, uh, s Oda superexciting.
Are you?
Yeah.
Oh my God, you're a great guy.
I love that.
Yay.
Well, Thanks for listening.
Thanks for listening.

(50:46):
Thanks for having me.
Yeah.
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