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February 5, 2024 • 61 mins
Thank you so much to Max for commissioning this episode and bearing with me on the very late posting.

I just want to give you all a heads up that the day my computer started to really shit the bed was the day I recorded this episode. Somehow, both my Grageband AND the Crowdcast lost the last 15 minutes of sound in the audio file, but for some reason the sound remained in the video if you played it off the Crowdcast site. I contacted Crowdcast about it, and unfortunately after a whole week of going back and forth, they were unable to fix the issue. This led me to have to do something a bit janky, and I was forced to play the video out loud and record the sound into my mic in order to have a complete episode. So the last 15 minutes of the episode sound much less high quality than the rest, but at least I was able to pull the sound from somewhere and didn't just lose that whole end of the episode.

ANYWAY. Just wanted to explain both the delay in posting and the bad sound, but this seems to be the only episode that had such an issue so hopefully this is in the past! Thanks for listening!

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is an unspoiled network podcast. This is spoil Me
covering what we do in The Shadows season five, episode one,
The Mall. In this episode, the fact that this is
titled the Mall instead of the one where we find

(00:27):
out that Guillermo is now a vampire really understells what
happens in this episode. Welcome to spoil Me. Welcome to

(00:56):
the show everyone. I am Natasha. Thank you so much
to Max for commissioning this episode.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
Max, if you are out.

Speaker 3 (01:04):
There, thank you ever so much. I'm so excited to
be starting on the show again.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
I think I read that there's one more season coming
after this, or maybe you told me that I don't recall,
but you know I you guys, this was what a surprise,
What a beautifully constructed episode. I would love a show
of hands of the number of you out there who

(01:34):
watched this fully expecting that by the time we get
to the end we find out Guillermo isn't a vampire.
Things didn't work out. For whatever reason, one of the
two of them just at the last second sort of
decided to like pull back on the whole idea. I

(01:58):
never thought that we were actually going to find out
he had gone through with it and it had worked,
Like this is the most interesting thing they could have done.
I am so excited for the remainder of this season.
I don't know if the whole season is going to

(02:19):
be geared around let's play this little game of keeping
the secret from them, or if we're going to have
like a surprise uh they find out like within the
first few episodes, and then we're just coping with it.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
I don't really care. I am just delighted that something
has been done that can't be undone. You can't like
walk it back. It's it's a done deal now. And
seeing the way that Guillermo approaches being after that, like

(03:01):
being informed that this is a hugely insulting thing to
do to Nandor. I can't wait. Because this he has
been able to like hide things undo every other time
there has been a way to sort of like get

(03:22):
out of the consequence of whatever it is. And the
fact that it looks like there's not going to be
a way to do that here, and even if there were,
what if it turns out he's stronger than Nandor. I
don't know how that works. If there's a lure behind it,
or if it's just sort of random. In this universe,

(03:43):
like in the Sookie Stackhouse novels, the older the vampire
is the stronger physically, they are the the you know,
as as you age, your strength and also the potency
of your blood becomes more pronounced.

Speaker 3 (04:02):
So in that universe, you can drink.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
Vampire blood for what amounts to a sort of like
high and also a boost to your like physical attractiveness
and your physical capabilities. And depending on who you drink from,
what kind of vampire you drink from, you get really
different results. And so your best bet is usually to

(04:27):
go after older vampires for their blood, but it's very
dangerous to do that. So I'm just curious, like, what
if it turns out he's like, yeah, I need to
kill you and he like can't. What if he can't?
What then that's all I'm asking.

Speaker 3 (04:50):
This. Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (04:51):
Okay, so let's just start from the beginning here, because
like I said, I wasn't prepared for any of this.
I really the way that it starts with Gemo being like,
that's not we're talking what we're talking about right now?
I figured that was and I'm sure this is a
purposeful misdirect. I thought that this was going to be

(05:16):
I'm not talking about it because it bums me out
so much the way that things went down, the fact
that I didn't get what I wanted, and I'm just
so happy to be wrong, I really am. So it
starts off with a house meeting and all of them

(05:37):
shit talking Giermo the way that they always do, and
it turns out that what he wants to talk to
them about is that they have been extremely indiscreet about
their vampire escapades lately. And I love the way that

(06:01):
this is done. He's just like, well, you know, you
guys have been relying a little bit too much lately
on the whole mesmerism thing. And we get to see
that Nander is at like a basketball game and he
slips on the stairs, and he goes down in front

(06:26):
of the whole audience and players and tells everybody to
forget that they saw a slip or who slipped, you guys.
There's two things I love about this. One how over
the top this is, and two the fact that likely

(06:52):
nobody even like barely noticed, and three that this this
is the exact sort of thing that those of us
who deal with anxiety are like remembering when we're falling
asleep at night, is that time that we slipped in
front of a crowd of people, and we cringe to

(07:16):
remember it when literally nobody cared like it was just
such such a not big deal, but in our heads,
we're just like, oh my god, that was so humiliating.
I can't believe that happened. And I am just delighted
at the idea that somebody who has been alive like

(07:36):
thousands of years, who has superpowers is just as self
conscious at this as a regular person would be.

Speaker 2 (07:45):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (07:46):
That just delights me a lot.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
Ms T says, I'm cackling just listening to you describe
it again, the basketball game. Great. I love knowing that
my descriptions are able to make anything, because some I
feel like, is should I be just describing the whole
scene the way that I am, You know, like, I
don't know whether that's too much upon occasion, but this

(08:11):
was just such a great reveal and the whole way
that none of them even want to listen to him.
And it cuts back and forth between like him attempting
to get everybody's attention and Laslow calling him once again
by the wrong name when he calls him Gizmo, that
just feels like a nickname, but he calls him like

(08:31):
Gerardo or something. At one point, all of this is
uh the usual that we are prepared for from this crowd.
They have no respect for him. They have made that
abundantly clear. And it becomes understandable a little bit later
why exactly Germo is putting up with this, but we'll

(08:54):
get to that later. So then we find out that
Nandor who keeps sort of chiming in, being like, let
him finish talking. I want to hear what Kierma has
to say. That he has been reading that old self
help stand by I'm okay, You're okay, and is attempting

(09:17):
to integrate that line of thinking and almost sort of
posturing as the like the one in the group that
is the wise patient one. And this is also a
very like understandable human thing. I can't be alone in this,

(09:42):
and I have to assume if you're listening to Unspoiled,
that you also can be this way where whatever you
are currently consuming, whether it is a book or a
television show, can temper rarely become your entire personality. And

(10:06):
you know This is not me like saying this in
a judgmental way at all. I am one thousand percent
like this, and it's a really tricky, Like you there's
one thing to just be in, like deeply engaged in

(10:28):
the content, to be absorbed in the world whatever, But
then you know there's the whole, Like I can't seem
to relate to the world outside of whatever it is
that I'm currently reading or watching. While I'm reading or

(10:49):
watching it like everything is filtered through that lens at
all times, and that's sort of where I can wind up.

Speaker 3 (10:56):
Occasionally.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
We call this a hyper.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
Fixation, and it shifts and moves in any given direction
and no one can tell for me where it's going
to land. The hyperfixation could be, yeah, I'm watching the
Gilded Age and now everything is in cut crystal stemware,
and all of my outfits are a little bit too involved,

(11:23):
and my hair is up and I keep like buying brooches.
Or it could be a completely like different direction where
I saw a few Instagram posts from these like beautiful
homes and these people lounging in silk robes, and now
I need a silk robe of my own, and I

(11:46):
am spending every waking moment, chopping for a silk robe
and a lovely like slip to wear with it and
high heeled slippers. It's whatever it is. I get sucked
into it in a way that's not like healthy, it's
not sustainable, it's not helpful to me or anyone else.

(12:11):
And depending on like the note that it hits for me,
it can disappear just as quickly sometimes not. Sometimes It'll
stick around and I'll be like, no, no, this is
just sort of how I live now. And then there
are times where I will like, have a cart full

(12:31):
of stuff from Amazon, and I will sleep on it
for two days and I'll wake up and look at
that cart and be like, my god, I was really
about to buy all of this. That is insane, and
I delete everything from my car and move on with
my life. But Nandor I just really he has the
same quality to him, you know whatever. It feels in

(12:53):
some ways like having been Nandor the relentless and that
being his whole like stick, for lack of a better
way to say that. It sounds disrespectful to call it
a stick, But like we all we're all friends here,
we can do this. I feel like in a way,
just rating and conquering was his hyperfixation, and now he's

(13:17):
living in a world where that's not what he can
do as a hobby anymore, and he is searching for
something that will be his identity. And so we kind
of get this, like throughout every season, there are various
things that he gets really over involved with and completely

(13:38):
at the expense of the rest of the way his
life is set up, you know. So I'm interested to
see if this particular bent continues the self help thing,
or if he's going to find yet another thing that
he's going to get involved with and obsessed with. But yeah,

(14:00):
and I love that he like calls this some ancient
text buried in Laslow's library for years and years, and
he blows the dust off it and like it is
an older book. I thought when he picked it out
that it was going to be even newer, that it
might be like the Secret or like the life changing
magic of tidying up something like that, you know. But yeah,

(14:26):
this whole introduction leads to Giermo stalking out of the
room and he's pretty upset. And the conclusion that they
all come to.

Speaker 3 (14:40):
Is that.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
They forgot his birthday, which you know it wasn't, but
that's what they decide, and they decide that they're going
to go out to dinner together as a group and
take him even though, like it turns out, he can
still eat, and I was sort of thinking, Okay, well,

(15:05):
if he eats at this at this dinner, that'll be evidence.
I wasn't really sure if the show was going to
reveal to us by the end whether or not he
was a vampire, if this sort of like did he
or did he not was going to go on for
another couple of episodes and we would find out eventually.
You know, I'm glad that they didn't. I'm really glad
to find it out at the end of this one.

(15:27):
But I could see it why they might toy with
us a little bit longer. But it turns out like
he can still eat human food at this stage, so
it wouldn't have been evidence, and you know, the rest
of the group, of course, just winds up ordering stuff
to have it. I kept forgetting about the thing with

(15:48):
garlic with the the baron. Do you guys remember that,
and how he just like vomited blood in a gout
for like a full minute after eating some.

Speaker 2 (16:00):
But anyway, so this is what they.

Speaker 3 (16:03):
Have decided in order to cheer him up.

Speaker 1 (16:07):
Meanwhile, this is not what is actually bothering him, but
what is going on is something that he can't really
talk to them about. So this is when we start
the story about Derek and him paying Derek to change
him into a vampire. I love the energy of this.

(16:30):
Oh my god, he just goes into the back room
at the bodega with Derek, and I love that Derek immediately,
oh yeah, totally, no problem.

Speaker 4 (16:45):
And I kind of expected that maybe, like this big
moment at the end of the last season was going
to open this season and it would be Derek being like.

Speaker 3 (16:59):
No, I'm not doing that, what.

Speaker 1 (17:01):
Or you know, saying that there was some sort of
restriction on whether or not he was allowed to this
sort of thing. But it's an immediate oh no, yeah,
that's fine, I'll do that for you, buddy, And he
tries to pretend that this is something that he has
done before, but it's not, which becomes very quickly apparent. Also,

(17:29):
Guillermo is sort of acting like he doesn't know if
he really wants to do it or not. So I
was sort of thinking as this began that there might
be a point where Guillermo realized that he actually didn't
want to become a vampire after all, but now he
was faced with the choice and that there was a

(17:49):
real possibility for him that it was going to be
too real, because that can happen. You know, we think
we want all kinds of things, and then you have
a moment of just facing the reality of what that
would be like, and you're suddenly going, huh, wait, hold.

Speaker 3 (18:10):
On, do I but no?

Speaker 1 (18:15):
He so Derek bites him, and of course there's an
interruption at first where there's something up with the toilet
and he starts to walk away. I know that this
is not something pleasant to.

Speaker 3 (18:30):
Think about, but.

Speaker 1 (18:34):
He says, I have to clean. I have to take
care of the toilet now, because if it's clogged, people
will just keep going on top of what's already in there,
and nobody wants that. Have you guys, ever been to
one of those public bathrooms where that has happened.

Speaker 3 (18:54):
Oh my god, y'all it is. I went too.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
This is one of those things that I was like,
I feel like I shouldn't do this, but I took
a picture because it was just so beyond belief. I
was in a wal Mart, and I had to be
really bad, and normally, because I need room because I'm fat,
I usually go into the handicap stall or the next

(19:24):
the biggest one because sometimes there's like a larger one
that's not handicapped technically, or I guess accessible stall.

Speaker 3 (19:30):
Sorry, And I walked into that bathroom and immediately was
like it reeks in here? What is going on?

Speaker 1 (19:39):
And then I opened that stall and it looked like
somebody had just started a fan and thrown diarrhea into it.

Speaker 2 (19:52):
It was all over the wall.

Speaker 1 (19:56):
It was all over, like the pipe and the handle everything.
It was like what happened? Like that was my main
question was how did this occur? Something went horribly wrong
for somebody, And I don't even know how this was achieved,

(20:19):
So anyway, I'm so sorry, but it was. I took
a photo of it and posted on Facebook and was
like you guys, and I think I put it in
the comments because I was like, I'm not posting this
as a main image and making people see this, but
I'm going to say get ready if you want to
see the pictures in the comments, and everybody was just like, oh,
that poor person.

Speaker 3 (20:40):
Like what the fuck? Because nobody could figure it out.

Speaker 1 (20:45):
But anyway, so Garmo finally is like, dude, can we
can you handle that please? Afterward, And it turns out
that Derek eventually bites him, but he doesn't bite it,
and like drink, he bites and then sort of backs

(21:05):
off and lets this like artery that's spurting just go
all over.

Speaker 3 (21:10):
The fucking place.

Speaker 1 (21:13):
And then when Guermo is like, hey, I'm going to
need some blood of yours, he says, oh yeah. The
thing is I do not do well at the sight
of my own blood. And Guillermo tries to be like,
all right, you know, I'm just gonna bite before he

(21:34):
can really get too squiky and overthink it. But when
he grabs and and bites him, he's like, oh sorry,
it's really hard to break the skin, and he doesn't.
He's not even able to get through, which I can
imagine this being the sort of thing that would be
harder than it seems like it would be. I bite

(21:55):
as a way of showing affection, one of my toxic traits, and.

Speaker 3 (22:02):
I could see myself.

Speaker 1 (22:03):
Drawing blood pretty easily. But if that's not just the
way that you live, yeah, sure, why would that even
present itself to you. So eventually he gets through. He
says something to Derek like don't look, and Derek's like,
don't look at what and then turns and looks and faints.
But just because he's fainted doesn't stop Giermo.

Speaker 3 (22:24):
All he needs to do is consume.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
It, and he does, and you see the flash in
his eyes as it affects his system, and that you, guys,
I was genuinely startled. I was starting to be like, well,
was that enough blood? Is that adequate? Like I wasn't
even sure if I remembered how this went, and I

(22:48):
had to think back to the first season when Naja
turns that college girl who I wish to god we
got to see more of her story. But Naja like
drank from this girl and then fed the girl her
blood in like a flask if I'm not mistaken, So
it wasn't really any large amount and it still took

(23:10):
effect completely. So it turns out, Guillermo, this was sixteen
days ago, I think, he says, And he is still
not really sure that he's seeing any effects here. It's like,
you know, so far nothing has changed. He can still

(23:33):
go out in the sun, he is still able to
eat human food. Everything is it's almost making him wonder
if it even worked. But we saw the look like
his eyes, so we know something happened. And I was
about to be like, are they gonna make it that

(23:54):
Giermo is like the one person that vamporrism doesn't take
hold on, like, you know, treating it almost like a virus,
and he's like the one person who's immune to it.
I was wondering if the fact that he is from
a race of vampire hunters that might be true, like

(24:18):
that he isn't able to be turned because of whatever
it is in his family history. But then we reach
a point where he's going to the eye doctor, and
this was actually one of the first things that I
thought of when they're joking around at the restaurant about
what if Giermo were to be turned into a vampire

(24:41):
and him flying around with like those little glasses on.
And I know that was a joke because they have
to be aware as vampires themselves that like all of
your senses sharpened, so he wouldn't have those glasses anymore,
but I still was sort of like, would he like,
is this something that he could just passed aside? And
once he says he's going to the eye doctor. I

(25:04):
was like, oh, okay, here it is. We're about to
find out. And sure enough, lady comes out from him
back and she's like, hey, I don't know who screwed up,
but if you've been wearing this prescription in your entire life,
somebody did. Because you don't need a prescription. You have

(25:28):
twenty twenty vision. You actually have better than twenty twenty vision.
And of course Giermo is just like, really, well, well, well,
it's the first evidence that he has that there's some
actual effects happening. And you, guys, I don't know if

(25:50):
that's because he's turning, or is it like a completely
unrelated thing. Is it due to his vampire hunting history?
Like do you know what I'm saying is I don't
know if there are any perks physically that come with

(26:16):
that job. We know that Guillermo canonically has been a
very good fighter. That he has like a lot of
dexterity and strength and can be like acrobatic basically at times.
So there's a possibility that like maybe his vision is

(26:37):
much better now that he has begun to connect with
these abilities.

Speaker 3 (26:41):
But he has been doing that for.

Speaker 1 (26:45):
A couple of seasons now, and one would think that
maybe he would start to realize he didn't need his
glasses when he woke up anymore. So the fact that
that hasn't, like that hasn't come up, I have to
think is due to the vampire blood and transforming. But

(27:07):
I also I'm like, does that transformation happen the same
way for somebody who has this lineage that he has,
Like maybe the transformation is different or stalls out or
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (27:25):
So I'm really really curious if there's like.

Speaker 1 (27:29):
Miss t says, I'm so glad they made it clear
at the end that it worked with the eyes. I'm
just glad they did that part. I'm talking about the
flash in the eyes and the bodega. Yeah, exactly. And
that's like what I'm thinking, like, is is it possible
that it worked in quotes in a different way for
Guillermo than it would work for a regular person. Is

(27:51):
it possible that he gets the perks of being a
vampire but he is still able to eat regular food
and go out during the day because now he's leveled
up somehow and he has these like abilities, But it's
not the same as do you know what I'm saying,
Like I I'm not trying to say that I particularly

(28:18):
want that exactly.

Speaker 2 (28:21):
I don't.

Speaker 1 (28:21):
I'm not against it, but I am really curious whether
or not this sort of effect on somebody who has
vampire hunting in their blood in a way that feels
like that is a distinct superpower. The way he suddenly
is able to move seemed to surprise him when he

(28:42):
came across these abilities, and the way that his family
reacted being around vampires, and it seemed like they were
almost unconscious of their rising reaction to Naja and the like,
you know, being in the house with them all. I

(29:04):
just the whole energy of it felt very much like
if you come from this line of people, you don't
get control over whether you are a vampire hunter. It's
just sort of part of you, and it's an involuntary reaction.

(29:25):
Like the people that he the vampires that Guermo kills,
he didn't choose to kill those people, those vampires. It
was almost like an a reflex in the moment when
he stabbed them. So there's a part of me that's
sort of like, is he gonna have some sort of

(29:47):
reaction to this that doesn't exactly line up with a
regular human beings reaction. I don't know, and I don't
even really know if I would want that, Like part
of me thinks it would be fun. Part of me
is still just so blown away at the fact that

(30:08):
he has finally gotten here after all this time, that
I want it to be that he becomes a vampire,
just in the regular way, because I feel like, as
much as I know it apparently is going to be
something dangerous for him now, I just want him to
show all of them that he was able to get

(30:30):
it done on his own and that he doesn't need them,
because fuck them. And then there's another part of me
that's like, well, if it didn't take effect on him
the same way that it does a regular person, and
he is able to like integrate it with the other
powers he had as a vampire hunter, that might be
best because then he doesn't have to fear for his life.

(30:54):
He'll be strong enough to basically tell Mandor to go
fuck himself, and he won't have the fear surrounding it
because he's able to completely take care of himself, you know.
So there's just a lot of ways they could do this,
and I'm really, really excited. I just never expected, you guys.

(31:17):
And the fact that there, you know, he has like
drank from Derek, and then Derek's boss comes in back
and it's just like toilet again, and he says it
into a back room sprayed with blood like it's a
set of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and he has doesn't

(31:38):
even raise an eyebrow at it.

Speaker 3 (31:40):
It's just a wonderful little scene.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
I really enjoy anytime you've got a sort of running
joke about a person who is either so oblivious that
they don't notice things, or is so run down and
like ground down by their daily job that they can't
be bothered to pay attention or notice because who gives

(32:03):
a shit?

Speaker 3 (32:04):
That's always funny to me.

Speaker 1 (32:06):
So I'm gonna back up a little bit because I
of course had to talk about that whole thing out
of the gate. But let's talk about the fact that,
oh my god, you guys, the fact that Colin Robinson
is working at this steakhouse. I can't remember the name
of it, but y'all, I swear Red Rock Steakhouse. That's

(32:31):
what it's called, kiddos. This was really good. I I
really enjoy the way that they handled Colin Robinson's character
in that they are able to put him in any

(32:53):
given situation and have him be absolutely infuriating to deal with,
and they know it's gonna be different depending on.

Speaker 3 (33:04):
The location he's at. So when he's in the office,
it's just.

Speaker 1 (33:08):
These little things that get under everybody's skin but are
a really innocuous irritation.

Speaker 2 (33:18):
Right.

Speaker 1 (33:20):
But when you think of like servers that drive you
up the wall, and we've all had this kind of
thing happen, they nail hit this whole energy so so hard.
First of all, the point where he's like trying to
explain to them what is on the menu, and he
grabs a chair and sits down backward on the chair.

(33:44):
Have y'all ever had this with a server. I have
had these sit backwards on a chair, and I have
also had the sit like basically nudge into the boots
with you.

Speaker 3 (34:01):
I had that at like a diner.

Speaker 1 (34:04):
You will, oh my god. Look, I don't think of
myself as somebody who's got a real stick up their ass,
but in truth, I kind of am, like, depending on
what it is we're talking about, I have a very
this is the way things are done, and you don't

(34:25):
do it a different way kind of vibe on certain things.
I'm really, let's follow the tradition here, or let's be
do whatever is the politest thing, you know. And the
moment when this person like basically nudged one of us
aside so that they could fit sitting with us in
the booth, I thought the top of my head was

(34:48):
going to pop off. It was just so it felt
so presumptuous, It felt so like, this isn't what any
of us are. What are you doing?

Speaker 3 (34:58):
You're not our friend?

Speaker 1 (35:00):
Like I was disgusted by it.

Speaker 3 (35:04):
I was so pissed.

Speaker 1 (35:06):
It was like and so this and then he tells
these ladies like, could I interest you in some pro sexy?
It's a fun way to say prosecco. Oh god, yep.
Another one of trying to make like weird, lame punny jokes.
And there's a really big difference between a punny joke

(35:27):
that's like you get that it's goofy and bad, and
you are leaning into that, you know, because that's part
of the fun of it, is like, yeah, this is real,
grown worthy, right, But you can tell the difference when
somebody is doing it for that reason and when somebody
is doing it because they actually don't really get how

(35:51):
painfully unfunny a thing is, and oh god, it's such
a shame when you run into that. It's you don't
know like how to handle it because you want to
laugh in a way that's sort of derisive, but then
you see the look on their face and it doesn't
match the reaction that you were about to have, so

(36:13):
then you have to rein it in and it's all
awkward and confusing, and just like the all evening long,
he's doing things like he's not making eye contact or
writing things down, So of course you've got people being like,
are you sure you're getting all of this and him
assuring them, oh, yeah, I never write anything down.

Speaker 3 (36:31):
Another one.

Speaker 1 (36:32):
Now, some servers don't write things down, and they get
it like completely correct first try, no problem. I have
met plenty of servers who can rely on pure memory,
which is never not astonishing to me, but they are
very legit with it. Those people, though, as you are
giving them your order, are looking at you in the

(36:55):
eye and clearly memorizing your face what you're saying, and
remember exactly where to put the plate when they come
back and set your food down in front of you,
and he is giving the clear indication he is not
paying attention in the slightest There's just nothing registering, and

(37:15):
these people have to continue to give their order with
a full awareness that this man doesn't remember anything they
just said, so whatever they get is going to be
a surprise to them. And I just really enjoyed this
whole sequence because.

Speaker 3 (37:34):
I can be.

Speaker 1 (37:36):
Really what's the word I want? I can be so
forgiving to people in the service industry to the point
of like, Okay, you really do need to have some
expectation of performance, and I feel guilty and I hold

(38:00):
them to a certain standard at times, but that results
in just like getting taken advantage of, you know, depending
on the situation. And there was something about the fact
that he's doing this all on purpose. I just you all,
this was just such a delightful little sequence here in
him sitting by this woman who has like fallen asleep

(38:22):
at her table and he has clearly been feeding on her.
So then his friends turn up they want him. At
first he tries to be like, uh, is your party here?
Because if you're not, can you guys please get up
and go? Wait in the tiny crowded vestibule where the
cigarette smoke comes in, which made me fucking cackle. But

(38:49):
then when they say we're staying here and get us
some food so it looks like we're eating and he
gets them all Jlipano poppers, and later on when he.

Speaker 3 (38:56):
Brings the food, he's like, okay, here the.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
Pollopanio poppers, some sliders, and a chocolate pudding. Just a
weird combo of stuff. This just I enjoy this As
the backdrop, they found a really good way to involve
Colin Robinson in the scene, but more creatively, because what

(39:21):
you know, if I had been told the scene was
coming and that they were all going to the restaurant together,
my assumption would have been Colin Robinson is going to
be here to terrorize the weight staff, basically to be
really difficult so that there's an ugly confrontation that he's
able to feed off of. And it's a lot less

(39:43):
fun to watch weightstaff get like bullied than it is
to watch somebody who is.

Speaker 3 (39:49):
A bullyed be weight staff.

Speaker 1 (39:52):
I don't know if I would call Colin Robinson a
bully and like mean it. I mean, he is, like
he's trying to get a eyes out of people, so
that's like the whole thing, right.

Speaker 3 (40:03):
But is that really the word?

Speaker 1 (40:06):
I don't know, but I'm gonna go with it. It's fine.
So yeah, I just thought that this was a good
creative way of doing it. And then we find out here,
so Nach's twin the doll. Does she go buy a
different name?

Speaker 3 (40:22):
Is she just Nacha Doll, the Naja doll.

Speaker 1 (40:25):
I don't know if there's been, like, you know, an
official different title for her, but she Nacha when she
was drunk in the last season, she was having a
real drinking problem with boozy blood. Apparently sat down on

(40:45):
the doll and broke her legs into a million pieces,
and so she had to replace the bottom half of
her doll with some other like weird it almost looked
like a dancing Santa like that kind of thing. But

(41:08):
she replaces her and there's a button on the toe
of the doll, and they're like press it, and she's like,
don't do it, and not just like, oh, come on,
I'm going to do it.

Speaker 3 (41:19):
It's fun.

Speaker 1 (41:21):
And she presses the button and the doll lifts up
her own skirt and like shakes and sings, oh my god,
it's playing. I feel good and as she's like playing
I feel good from the base, the doll herself is

(41:42):
saying I hate you.

Speaker 3 (41:44):
I'm going to kill you all, and just utterly miserable.

Speaker 1 (41:49):
Oh what have I done?

Speaker 3 (41:50):
You know what you did? This is so humiliating.

Speaker 1 (41:56):
I can't you guys with the like like, oh, I'm
so sorry. You would not have pressed that button, Naja,
if you were sorry, that's what it comes down to,
and you did, so I think that says everything. That's
all we need to know is that you are not sorry,
and you are in fact.

Speaker 3 (42:13):
Laughing at her. But sure, I'm so sorry. Shut up,
No you're not.

Speaker 1 (42:18):
I'm on the doll side with this one. So the
conversation that they have here is talking about Guillermo and
what could have happened. You know why he is so
cranky and he said something about how I'm not going

(42:40):
to be around forever, and they talk about how maybe
he's dying because that's something that humans do, and then
Nandor says, or I suppose eventually, perhaps he could to
become a vampire himself, and they all start laughing and

(43:07):
what an idiot, it could happen. It could happen, And
they continue discussing the ridiculousness of him being a vampire
right up until he comes inside, and when he does.

Speaker 3 (43:26):
They don't well, of course they don't.

Speaker 1 (43:28):
They don't hide the fact that they were talking about this.
They just keep making fun of him to his face
because that's the way they roll. They're very mean. And
he jokes around with them, trying to pretend that he's
part of the joke because he's sussing out how they

(43:51):
would react to something. And he says, oh, yeah, you know,
like what if I was walking down the street and
I saw Dracula and he said I can make you
a vampire and I said yes, And very abruptly all
of them.

Speaker 3 (44:08):
Stop laughing, and not just says that is.

Speaker 1 (44:15):
One of the greatest humiliations that you can offer a master,
is a familiar going off and being turned by somebody else.
And Nandor says, yeah, you know, if you were to
do that, I would have to kill you. I wouldn't

(44:35):
want to do it, but I would have to do it.
And he seems truly sad, like what I just considering
this being a possibility is such a shame, and it
would be an obligation I couldn't avoid. But I wouldn't
enjoy it, so I just wanted to make it clear

(44:57):
that I wouldn't enjoy it. And later on when he
brings it up again, because Gama was like, you wouldn't
really kill me, would you, He's like.

Speaker 3 (45:07):
Well, yeah, I would like.

Speaker 1 (45:09):
I again, I wouldn't like it, but there would just
be no other option. And this is why I'm sort
of hoping there's a different result from him getting turned,
because maybe it would. The reaction might be that he

(45:29):
winds up strong enough that he can take care of
himself and he doesn't have to worry for his own safety.

Speaker 2 (45:37):
But who knows, you know, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (45:42):
I just really I really like the idea of him
getting to show them up in the end. It's been
such a thing that Guillermo is the goof that gets
taken advantage of whole portion in the scene with him

(46:05):
and Derek where he says something about how Nandor has
done a lot of really nice things for me over
the years, and there's a pause and he's like, I'm sorry,
I know this seems like a weird long pause, but
they this is for the editing. So when I say that,
then they do a montage of all of the nice
things that he's done, and I just wanted to give

(46:27):
them time and a chance to like put that in,
and then the camera just lingers on him and Derek
because Nandor has never done a nice thing for Giermo
in his life, and there's nothing to show, but Giermu
is standing there really thinking that they're doing this, and

(46:48):
I really wanted one of them to ask, like, what
is something that you would like us to include? What
moment would you want for us to add to this montage,
because I am really curious he convinces himself that he
isn't being treated badly in these off moments, but when

(47:12):
we see him at the house, he never seems to
think he's being treated well.

Speaker 2 (47:17):
It's there.

Speaker 1 (47:18):
There isn't a moment when he is with everybody else
that it seems like he feels good about the way
Nandor is treating him. So I'm really wanting to know, like,
what is it that you are imagining in your head

(47:39):
as something that they can show, because every time there
has been a hint of Nandor or any of the
other vampires treating garm like a person, they almost immediately
followed up with something like really insulting, or it turns
out like the nice thing they did had strings attached,

(47:59):
or they did this nice thing with an intent outside
of him simply enjoying himself, like it looked like a gift,
but it was actually work, you know, like any number
of those things.

Speaker 3 (48:13):
And so.

Speaker 2 (48:15):
It's a sort of a weird like Gearmo, if.

Speaker 1 (48:19):
You're seeing somebody who's treated poorly telling themselves that they
are actually being treated well, one would think you would
have more moments of them being treated badly but not
seeming to be aware they're being treated badly in the
moment that at the time that it happened, you as

(48:40):
a viewer are off to the side going, oh, honey,
oh that is not what you think it is, while
we sit there watching knowing that they're being humiliated.

Speaker 2 (48:50):
But it seems like every time he's being humiliated, Germo
is aware that's what's happening.

Speaker 1 (48:55):
It's never really like there's no sense of him not
understanding the insult that's being thrown in his face. So
that's my main question here is just what does Guillermo
think was done like in a generous way to be

(49:19):
nice to him. One example, is he even imagining because
I can't. I can't come up with like.

Speaker 5 (49:26):
A single instance, but anyway, I did like the long
pause and how awkwardly that goes on for oh my god.

Speaker 1 (49:39):
So eventually they leave the restaurant and they have all
of these leftovers that he's carrying.

Speaker 2 (49:49):
In these bags, and as they're leaving.

Speaker 1 (49:53):
He tells them that he has to go to the
mall because there is an optometrist in there. And evidently
they have never.

Speaker 2 (50:01):
Been to the mall.

Speaker 1 (50:03):
They don't even know what a mall contains. So they
pretend they're gonna sit and wait and people watch while
he goes in and does his thing. I don't know
what he thought, like, come on, GMO, are you serious?

(50:27):
But they all go off and do their own individual things.
So Nandor goes to this weird like gift shop and
buys a Shrek T shirt. I always imagine when I
see things like this in television shows that maybe there

(50:49):
was a point at which somebody either stumbled across a
really hilarious shirt in some store and they decided like, Okay,
we're gonna we're gonna buy this shirt and hang on
to it for something because this is truly ridiculous, or
maybe they ran into a person who was wearing a
shirt that they were like, I have to commit this

(51:09):
to memory because it is incredible to me that anybody
purchased this and then ended up wearing it in public.
But the shirt it's got Shrek and it says check
yourself before you shrek yourself.

Speaker 2 (51:26):
And it's called like Gilli's Gifts or something.

Speaker 1 (51:32):
The store it's all weird T shirts and uh and hats,
and it seems like there's a little bit of like foe,
what's the word I want? It's there's some like kind
of weird paraphernalia, but.

Speaker 2 (51:48):
Not like pipes and stuff, I mean like.

Speaker 1 (51:53):
Mugs that have pot leaves on them. I think that
what they were kind of going for here was like
Spencer's Gifts sort of energy. I'm saying this, and I'm like,
Spencer's Gifts is a thing everywhere, right, This isn't something
that's like specific to Connecticut or the Northeast or And
when I say everywhere, I mean in the United States.

(52:14):
I have to assume there isn't a Spencer's Gifts abroad.
But Spencer's was like when I was young, it was
the kind of place that you would go to get
the sort of like goofy gifts that were over the
hill jokes, or that you would get like a mug
that when it got hot, the bikini babe, her bikini

(52:40):
would fade away and she would be naked, like those
kinds of stupid, crass type of gifts, you know, that
was their bread and butter, and.

Speaker 2 (52:57):
It was always sort of weird to Meybe.

Speaker 1 (53:00):
It was that sort of gift type that felt like
it was for old people even then.

Speaker 2 (53:06):
But the decor of the place was all like neon
lights and.

Speaker 1 (53:16):
Those those what do you call them, you know, those
balls that you put your hand on and like the
electricity shoots out and touches your fingers, or like lava lamps,
like they had.

Speaker 3 (53:31):
A look to them that felt kind of stoner like.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
But then all of the gifts and merchandise just felt
like it was geared towards people who were like fifty
years old, and so it always was confusing to me.
But anyway, he gives this girl a couple of what
he calls coupons, and one of them is for an
oil change, and that coupon is eight has expired eighteen

(53:59):
years ago, and the other is a cut out of
a picture of Ryan Seacrest from a magazine. Meanwhile, Naja
has decided that the best way to fix her doll
is to go to a Build a Bear workshop. They
have never gone to a Build a Bear. This one

(54:25):
is set up in such a way that you go
up to like a desk at the front and tell
them what it is you want, and it seems like
you like tell them and you back away and they do.
The thing is that how that works. I always thought
that the point of Build a Bear was that you
got to put the pieces together yourself. There's a sort

(54:45):
of thing like Build a Bear in the Star Wars
in Disneyland where or disney World, where you build your
own droids. And Ohen and I each built one. I
built a per BB eight and he built what looks
more like an Art two D two, but it was

(55:06):
like all black. And the fun of the way that
they like set it up was that you come in
and there's this conveyor belt of parts and you have
to find the parts you want to build the droid
and make sure that you get all of the pieces,

(55:28):
and you can make it so that the parts don't match.
You can make it so that your whole droid is
assembled out of different colors and give it a really
like kind of patchwork, look like it's something used that
you replaced parts with whatever you could find, which is
a really fun, you know, like aesthetically a fun way

(55:49):
to go. But I did mine like solid purple, and
it was just a fun thing, like you're finding the pieces.

Speaker 2 (55:55):
They really make it.

Speaker 1 (55:56):
Seem like it's a matter of chance. Of course it's not,
you know, but like they make it feel like a game,
and then they bring you over to like a cubby
and somebody assists you with putting the parts together in
the right way. And then they like take the partially
finished thing and put it into a cage and flip

(56:18):
a switch and make it seem like, oh, we're charging
it up and hand it back to you. And then
they're like, okay, now push this button and then it
turns on and they've just.

Speaker 3 (56:27):
Put like a battery into it or whatever.

Speaker 2 (56:30):
But it's just a whole process.

Speaker 1 (56:32):
And I was really surprised that it seems like the
way they have it done here is that you just
give build a bear your specs and they like put
it together and hand you a finished bear, which doesn't
like you could just order something online, I would think.

Speaker 2 (56:49):
But what she wants I.

Speaker 1 (56:51):
Guess is for her, like the part for her doll.
So she says, did you do be make a selection?
And not just says I am looking for the exact
proportion of venus herself when her pussy was serving, which
is tea, nipples so sharp they're on the most wanted list,
and a taint that can sign its own checks. And

(57:11):
this lady says, I meant more like, which hat did
you want? And she says, oh, rainbow sombrero for sure.
A taint that could write its own checks. I don't
even know what that means.

Speaker 2 (57:29):
And I'm not.

Speaker 1 (57:30):
Going to ask any further questions. I feel like, if
I don't know what that means, that's my problem. So yeah,
I don't think correct me if I'm wrong that we
see the uh finished like bare bottom.

Speaker 3 (57:51):
Oh my god, not that kind of pot, you know.

Speaker 2 (57:57):
What I mean? I don't do we know, I don't
think we do Lasla.

Speaker 1 (58:04):
Meanwhile, it's just walking around the mall and is pointing
out different like stores and saying what he thinks they do.
The bikini warehouse he thinks is for like a brothel.

Speaker 2 (58:16):
There's a children's village, which.

Speaker 1 (58:18):
He thinks sells kids, but it turns out what he's
actually doing is following Laslow to see what it is
he's doing.

Speaker 2 (58:28):
I love that.

Speaker 1 (58:29):
There's a Merry go round and Nandor is like I
found John and he's riding this horse.

Speaker 2 (58:35):
Oh my god. But I don't know what.

Speaker 1 (58:38):
Laslow makes in the fact that when he goes to
the uh the eyeglass place, like, does Laslow hear that
he doesn't Ghemo doesn't need glasses anymore.

Speaker 2 (58:51):
I'm really I don't know.

Speaker 1 (58:53):
Does he overhear what Giemo says about like finishing up
the turning? I I don't know what Laslow picked up
on here? And how much of this is like you
know what I'm saying, is Gamo in danger?

Speaker 3 (59:12):
Actually?

Speaker 2 (59:13):
I hope not.

Speaker 1 (59:14):
I just the thing with Laslow is that he doesn't
he can sit on information for a while. He is
not somebody that goes and just does something with info
he finds. He'll often sort of wonder and consider and
do the talking head things to the camera for a

(59:35):
while before taking action.

Speaker 2 (59:37):
So I guess we'll see eventually. But the episode ends
with Gambo had says.

Speaker 1 (59:47):
Something about how he was gonna go to foot locker,
and after he puts Nander to bed like, Nander's points out, oh,
for a birthday present, I got you a foot locker,
and Guermo drags the foot locker like down the hall

(01:00:07):
and he climbs into it to sleep, which I guess
if you're gonna have to be safe from the light,
if you don't know at what point light is going
to be harmful to you, it's probably on the safer
side to do that. But his bedroom doesn't have any
windows in it, so probably he could have just slept

(01:00:30):
in his room and that would have been okay, I
would think.

Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
But uh, oh, wait, is it in the hall? No?

Speaker 1 (01:00:37):
I think I guess he dragged it into No, it
is in the hall. I don't think his room is
big enough to fit that thing in there. It was
hard to tell. Yeah, that's the end of the episode.
So I'm really really excited. I can't wait to see
where we're going with this because this is just such
a surprising turn of events. I don't think we were
doing it guys, and I'm delighted we're here. All right,

(01:00:59):
I'm gonna wrap this up up. Thank you again, Max
for commissioning this and for commissioning the whole season, really
really excited and until next time to Loo motherfuckers. That

(01:01:37):
was an unspoiled network podcast.
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