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July 29, 2023 • 58 mins
Thank you so much to Max for commissioning this episode!

I am happy to report that while I didn't get the obsession with the aesthetic that I wanted in the episodes leading up to the club opening, I got just what I wanted in this one. In fact it's enough of a plot point that Nandor decides to change his wife's entire personality so that he can get the color of roses he wants. I really didn't think he was going to actually go through with the wedding though!

Thanks for listening, and I will see you soon with a new episode!

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
This is an Unspoiled Network podcast.This is spoil Me covering what we do
in The Shadows season four, episodesix, the wedding. In this episode,
Nandor finally ties the knot. Heis not really excited about it,

(00:27):
though, and it turns out hiswife had also not been excited about it
up until a very short time beforethe day arrived. Welcome to spoil Me,

(00:58):
Welcome to the show everyone. Iam Natasha. Thank you very much
to Max for commissioning this episode.So this is a really interesting one because
I will be honest, I neverreally thought Nandor would stick with his wife.
I don't really know why not,because the thing is, I think

(01:23):
my mistake is in viewing the factthat he went through with the wedding as
truly a binding situation. You know, I'm looking at it like I would
look at a real marriage, andnot only is this just something that could
be undone at any given moment,especially seeing as she is human still and

(01:48):
he could literally just eat her.I also forget how much this show will
take things that seem like they're abig deal and then completely scrap them.
And I don't mean that in termsof like the plot being dismissive of things.
What I really mean is more nobodyin the show, none of the
characters really seemed to take things thatseriously. Ever, the only things that

(02:15):
they really have had a reaction thatfelt proportional to what was happening were when
like the baron got burned to acrisp things that they were going to get
in trouble for due to outside forces. So I don't know why I thought
like, oh, well, that'sjust going to be too big of a
commitment. He isn't going to marryher because that will like box him into

(02:38):
a corner. They just don't reallysee themselves as being beholden to the kinds
of rules that I see myself beingbeholden too, So they that's not anything
that they're concerned about. So ittook me a little while to like warm
up to the fact that this wasn'tgoing to be just like planning the wedding

(03:00):
episode, and that something wasn't goingto go wrong at the last second.
This is a wedding episode. Thewedding is happening, And then I thought
for sure when everybody's interrupting, itwould just get thrown off. Course,
we wouldn't do it, and wedo we still do it. So we

(03:21):
find out that Nandor is going alittle bit too hard with the wedding planning,
and he isn't sleeping and he isobsessive about trying to find the ideal
like design for this wedding. AndI really enjoy this from a personal standpoint

(03:46):
because you guys know that I wasexcited about finding out how Naja was going
to handle the designing of the club, and we didn't get any of that,
which I was sad over. AndI feel like I just got a
little taste of what it was thatI wanted with this. It was you
know, I felt like, okay, that's a bit of me appeased.

(04:09):
Also, you know, I don'tremember when I started coverage of this show
if I had already gotten married ornot. But I there's a there's a
very there's varied schools of thought regardingwedding planning, and a lot of people

(04:31):
are sort of of the mind thatif you are valuing the wedding itself too
much, it means that you arenot as committed to the relationship as you
are just sort of like vain overputting on a show, or that if

(04:54):
you spend too much money on yourwedding, you're not being responsible when in
the future potentially could use that samemoney towards a home something like that,
Right, And it's the kind ofthing that I really get a little bit
like twitchy over because I can understandboth points. I can understand feeling like

(05:18):
getting too focused on the wedding andnot considering the relationship enough is not the
way that you want to go intoa commitment like this, And I can
understand feeling like the money could bebetter spent in other ways. And I
also freely admit that we have gota really sick sort of like wedding industrial

(05:42):
complex going on in America, especiallywhere the amount of money that you are
encouraged to spend is truly insane,like the whole what is considered normal to
spend on a wedding and the waythat prices get jacked up for any service

(06:06):
once that person finds out it isfor a wedding, it's criminal, it's
obscene. So I will admit allof that is unreasonable and unfair. There
is, however, for me,and I may be reading into this,
but I'm going to say it,there is for me a little bit of

(06:30):
a sense of misogyny. I'm justgonna see, I'm just gonna use the
word in how much of an attitudepeople can sometimes cop when it comes to
women wanting a beautiful wedding. AndI'm going to say women here, even

(06:51):
though this episode is so focused onNandor, because that is who it's directed
towards. When people are talking aboutwedding planning, nobody's ever talking about the
husband. They are always talking.I'm talking about this in a heteronormative way,
I admit that, But all ofthe wedding industrial complex is aimed at
bride's It's never ever aimed at grooms, unless it's about a groom's cake,

(07:15):
an additional, separate thing that they'retrying to sell, not trying to get
the groom involved in the wedding planning. And when I was like when I
got married the first time, wayback in the foggy years of two thousand
and eight, I remember feeling likeI wasn't allowed to want a big wedding.

(07:42):
I remember feeling like I had topretend I didn't want that to be
seen as serious about Brendan, asresponsible and not like silly and not a
typical woman. I was not likeother girls. I didn't even really want

(08:05):
a big wedding actually, And itwasn't until like I got engaged again to
Owen that I realized how ripped offI felt. I did kind of want
a big wedding, and I didn'tlike, I didn't allow myself to admit
that because I felt like it wassome sort of horrible confession, you know,

(08:28):
like I was really admitting something shamefuland it was so materialistic of me.
And here's the thing with that,I am materialistic and I have just
grown to understand that about myself andjust kind of figure out how to deal

(08:50):
with that because I don't Once youstep back and look at certain things that
we accuse people of, and youreally ask yourself, what's so wrong with
wanting that same thing as like,oh, you're attention seeking. I never
like everybody wants attention, even peoplewho don't like being the center of attention

(09:13):
of a big group, they wantattention in some form. It's a need
everybody has and we all have.You know. That's not to say it
can't get out of control or bewrong, but the accusation of being attention
seeking has always kind of struck meas odd because I just feel everybody is

(09:33):
guilty of that on some level,and we all have different places that we
draw the line, and there areways that it can escalate to being damaging,
but usually we're not talking about itin those terms. We're talking about
it in just like they should bemore ashamed of themselves than they are.
And with materialism, I like beauty. I like things to look a certain

(10:01):
way, and I feel a genuinesense of calm and satisfaction that is bone
deep when I look at a thingthat is perfectly put together, and that
can range in all sorts of directionsin terms of what I mean by that
with whatever I'm talking about, butI finally have really sort of grown to

(10:26):
see that doesn't mean that it's atthe expense of everything else. It's just
something that is important to me,and we all get our little vice,
you know. So planning my wedding, I will have to admit I was
a little nandorish about it. Inever went to complete bridezilla territory, and

(10:54):
I think a lot of that isgrowing up without money and understanding how unreasonable
the pricing of so many things were, plus having a lot of people in
my life who don't have a lotof money either, and who were really
like I saw a lot of horrorstories about brides expecting people to pay for

(11:15):
a flight to their bachelorette and aseparate flight to their wedding, or expecting
people to drop seven hundred dollars ona bridesmaid dress or whatever, and I
was very conscious to not put thatparticular kind of pressure on people. I
wanted them to come to the wedding, and that would require a flight,
But no matter where I had mywedding, everybody was going to have to

(11:37):
get on a plane anyway, Sothat wasn't really like that big a deal.
And I chose forty dollars bridesmaid dresseson Amazon specifically because they were simple,
could be worn to another event,and you could wear a bra under
them and would be comfortable. Thatwas literally those were my only requirements and

(11:58):
otherwise I made almost everything, Andif you're interested, you can check out
my Instagram at Bossy Bitch or isit no, it's Bossy Fat Babe.
My wedding was unbenlievably beautiful. Iam just going to go on record and
say it looked like I spent tensof thousands of dollars because I had a

(12:24):
lot of time. I was meticulousand I planned down to the letter for
everything. So as much as ittook so much planning, so much energy,
so much time, and yes itdid take money, I look at
the photos of the day and amso glad that I put that effort in

(12:48):
because everything in every photo is stunning. And that was what I kept thinking,
was that all the photos were goingto have I want things to look
beautiful. I don't want to lookat a photo of something and be like
I wish I had done X,Y Z. And even Owen when we
were planning, you know, hesaid something about how he was like,

(13:11):
I want to say, who caresif we have gold silverware? Who's going
to remember? But I know youwill remember because he knows me. And
I was like, I will.You know, there's nothing inherently wrong with
having the plane standard silverware that youget from the caterer. That's fine.

(13:31):
But I wanted my table to looka certain way. And I was willing
to pay an extra one hundred andtwenty five dollars to get gold, mismatched,
antique looking flatware because that's what Iwanted, and I knew I'm never
going to get to throw a partylike this ever again in my life.
More than likely this is it,and I decided I'm going to fucking really

(13:54):
go for it because it's going tolive on forever in photos. And I
stay by all of that. Andthat is with me putting forth all my
effort and pretty much doing almost everythingby myself, except for my dress,
which my wonderful maid of honor madefor me. An astonishing dress again go

(14:16):
to Instagram. It was black andthis like deep magent. It was unbelievable,
the kind of dress that everybody sawpictures of it beforehand on my bridesmaids.
When I put it on, everybodyjust went, oh my god.
You could see that they meant itgenuinely. The dress was beyond belief.

(14:37):
I have absolutely zero regrets about anyof that at all. And if I
had access to a gin, ohmy god, I would I don't even
know. I genuinely like I hadso much of what I wanted, and
I can't think what else I woulddo beyond probably just snapping my fingers so

(15:00):
that nobody had to fly and thatway we could, and just being able
to get places without having the travelpart was really the tough thing. But
then maybe being able to make theparty like last a lot longer, maybe
being able to have a new likea second meal somewhere later in the evening.
You know all that, I understandhow if you are nandor you're as

(15:28):
old as he is, you've beenhaving this weird idea about a partner in
your life in this like abstract way. And also one of your roommates has
this big project that she's worked onwhere she's got this club that maybe you
are feeling like a little bit jealousabout her getting to have this thing and
you want to plan something of yourown. And what he wants up being

(15:50):
accused of in the end by Najais it isn't even about wanting to marry
his wife. It is about wantingto have a wedding, which is something
that I can really I think itwould be so cool if more women,
because marriage is a thing really leanedon as being important for women. But

(16:14):
I saw something a while back abouta woman who had decided she wasn't going
to get married, so she hadlike a wedding for herself and her commitment
to herself, and through this massive, amazing party in honor of herself,
and I was like, that isfucking rad. I really if I were
to do everything all over again andI wouldn't, you know, didn't get

(16:37):
in a relationship, and I decided, you know what, I'm just going
to be single and like enjoying myown life. That is what I would
do. I would have a fuckinglike wedding for myself. So I really
sympathized with Nandor and the fact thathe's like up all night and writing things
in his little notebook when he's supposedto be asleep. I was doing this,

(16:59):
guys. I would sit next toOwen and bed Owen's dead asleep,
and I am frantically searching through Etsyfor the perfect name cards. I am
saving patterns for fabrics I had Pinterest. Was nuts, Like, I was
doing this whole thing, and Gillermohas kind of had it. He's really

(17:23):
starting to lose it because of thefact that Nandor is so relentless. Guermo
is also not allowed to sleep,and we see him at one point fall
asleep during the interview, and thenwhen they wake him up, he reaches

(17:44):
down and grabs a red bull andhe starts to scream about having the perfect
fucking wedding, and like, really, this is the most I think we've
ever seen him express his rage.We've seen him angry before, but he
doesn't usually scream like that and swearlike that. And I was like,

(18:04):
here for it, good for you. And it turns out also we find
out that when I'm trying to remembereven what Nandor's wife's name is, mag
I feel like it was an m. I'm wanting to say Magda, but
that's definitely not it. That's likea completely different region. But Marwa.

(18:30):
I think it's Marwa. She hasn'treally been consulted on a lot of this.
So when he expresses that he wouldlike black and red roses and she
comes in and says that she wantspink and white, Nandor decides that this
means that she is against him,and that's pretty much his theme for the

(18:53):
whole episode is anybody who expresses adifferent opinion or suggests an alternative, or
proposes that he invite a particular personanything of any kind, he interprets as

(19:15):
them trying to sabotage the wedding,which is what eventually gets Guillermo saying,
I think that you are projecting andthat you don't actually even want this wedding.
You just want to have to,you know, go through with it,
because you had this whole thing plannedout, but you're not actually like
wanting the marriage really, and Ithink you're just concerned that it's starting to

(19:38):
catch up with you and getting outof control. And I thought it was
sort of surprising because when he makesthis suggestion, it's like, I guess
he really just says, I thinkyou're just scared, but he doesn't really
He doesn't go as hard as Najadoes about like I don't even think you
really want to get married. Hejust sort of is like, I think
you're projecting, and and Nandor admitshe is afraid and yet decides to go

(20:03):
through that anyway, and Guillermo doesnot discourage him from doing that. Guillermo
is like, I'll be there foryou, It's okay, and doesn't really
open the door for him to backout of it or say maybe this isn't
right, you know. And Ithink he is right to have handled it
that way, considering how Nandor thinkseveryone's trying to sabotage him. But it

(20:30):
was considering that I had sort ofwondered if maybe Guillermo was going to have
an attitude about Nandor getting married,and there was what looked to be a
perfect opportunity to like step in andsay, oh, look, maybe you
shouldn't. The fact that he didn't, I'm like starting to be like,
maybe he really isn't as attached toNandor as I thought. And the thing

(20:56):
that causes him to start to whomthat even Laslow is against him is asking
whether Sean and Charmaine were invited tothe wedding. It turns out they are
going to be literally only other humanguests than Guillermo, and Guillermo has to

(21:18):
figure out how to make it work, which eventually leads to Naja and Evil
Mabel waving their fingers in front oftheir faces and mesmerizing them into not being
freaked out over the fact that thereare vampires everywhere, and also that they
won't remember anything the next day,which that was really surprising to me,

(21:44):
because the reason that Laslow wanted Nandoto invite them is because he thought if
they weren't invited, they'd be offended. But if they're invited and then they
don't remember that they went, andthey hear that Nander got married later,
and they are going to think theyweren't invited because they don't remember going,

(22:06):
and be offended anyway. So Iwas kind of like, well, shouldn't
you just leave the memory of atleast the wedding and not the vampires.
But maybe that's a little bit toodelicate. I don't know. They do
keep mesmerizing Sean though, and Idon't know how his brain is dealing with
it, because they should have killedhim by now. And we find out
that some of the ship that Nandorhas demanded. For example, he wants

(22:30):
roasted dodo bird for the wraiths.They're very slow birds, very easy to
catch their everywhere, and Guillermo istrying to tell him that they are extinct,
and he's just like, you'll figureit out, and Guierremo is running
after him, flipping out. Heis so mad. He is in there

(22:55):
later on when Naja and Evil Mabelare chatting and he is going absolutely fucking
crazy with this axe and like windsup busting open a couple of pillows and
stuff. It's a whole thing Ido enjoy when not just talking about rich
humans and how they eat rich foodsand get their muscles massage, and they're

(23:17):
basically like veal, completely repulsive,but so buttery on my tongue. So
yeah, they go into that room. They find Guillermo in quite a state,
and Naja does say to the camera, ordinarily, I do not give

(23:37):
a shit whether things are going wellfor him, but because he's managing the
club finances, it is pretty importantto me that things be you know,
that he be doing all right.So I am going to assist him with
this so that he at least doesn'tfuck my club up too much. And
when they knock on the door andcamera opens it, they're all these feathers

(23:59):
flying behind him. You guys,it's pretty good. I had the look
on his face with the feathers behindhim. A couple of weeks ago.
Now, Owen and I sort ofwe forgot the circumstances of things. So
there was a period there, asmany of you remember, where sam my
dog was really ill. He hadan infection and we had to leave the

(24:23):
house and he would be on thesedrugs for the pain and anxiety, and
if we would leave and he wasout, he would just sleep. He
was drugged, and Owen and Ikind of forgot how that's what made him
so docile, and as he beganto feel better, we didn't need to
give him certain meds anymore that knockedhim out so bad. And we left

(24:48):
one day for just a couple ofhours. I think we went to like
home Depot and Target and then camehome and Sam had gotten hold of one
of our pillows from my kea thatwas filled with down and it was you
guys. It was one of thosemoments where I had a feeling as I

(25:11):
was opening the door, I hada feeling something was going to be wrong.
Once I opened it, I wasn'tready. I took a photo and
posted it on Facebook because it wasnot that big a pillow, but the
amount of feathers in the room itwas like it was snow banks, it
looked like. And trying to cleanit up like we didn't even know what

(25:34):
to do. Owen went and gota snow shovel finally, and I like
swept the feathers onto the shovel asbest I could, and then he slowly
lifted them into a hamper, butlike moving them at all. They swirl
all over the place. Looking back, I should have like sprayed water on

(25:55):
them to get them to weigh downand settle. But you all, I
could not stop laughing, Like itwas a nightmare to clean up, and
I was really mad, But itwas also so funny because it was when
I opened the door, It's justlike these hills of feathers and Sam sitting

(26:17):
in the middle of them looking atme, and he had a real expression
on his face. He knew thathe had done wrong. You could just
tell he fucking knew. And Igasped, and he like ran right past
me into the other room to getaway from me. And oh man,
So anyway, piermo here reminded mea little bit of Sam here. The

(26:41):
look he has on his face.I think he's having a little tantrum.
Is Sandor's wedding making you put yourknickers inside a twist. So yeah,
they agree to help him out bytaking some of the focus away, and
he just deals with the Dodo birdproblem. I have an antique Dodo catching

(27:06):
net in the Chamber of curiosities.That's evil Mabel. But he's falling asleep
as they're talking to him. Now, just says, all right, we'll
deal with the baron officiating the ceremonyso that you can just focus on the
Dodo thing, and she has tostop after saying it, says, oh,

(27:27):
it feels really weird being so nice, and she sort of gags and
has to adjust herself. So weget a pretty fun little twist of the
baron's story here. I had forgottenabout the hellhound living with him, who
is so cute. And of coursewe've got that fucking gargoyle as well.

(27:52):
But the baron is still like onlyhalf a body. He's you know,
from the waist up, and he'smissing an arm and still char broiled.
And he basically expresses that he wouldn'tbe averse to doing the wedding if it

(28:12):
weren't for the way that he looks. He's admitting to being kind of vain.
And when they decide he needs amakeover, we get an awesome montage,
y'all. It is so good.First he's in this like very traditional

(28:38):
Dracula cape, but when they openedit, there's nothing underneath. Is he's
just on a stand. Then wehave him sitting on the gargoyle and he's
in a giant trench coat. Ireally like how and I don't know if
this is just acting or if theyreally did kind of fuck around while they
were filming this. But there area few moments where it seems like Evil

(29:03):
Mabel and Naja are caught off guard, genuinely in the moment starting to actually
laugh, and I think maybe theyjust didn't quite know what was going to
be behind the curtain. The onewhere he's in that like frilly pink like
seventeen eighties down Naja truly looks likeshe's breaking character for a second, the

(29:26):
hat she's wearing or the hat he'swearing, and then he reaches up and
his eyeball rolls out and she crabsit and is delighted by it. And
then we start to have her inpinstripes on the bicycle while the baron's in
the basket on the front of thebicycle. I mean, it's just a
really, really fun sequence. Iloved all of this. There's very rarely

(29:48):
am I ever going to feel likemontage of dressing up isn't warranted. Even
if it isn't warranted, I'm stillgonna be okay with it. I don't
care. So what they wind updoing is confronting Nandor and essentially being like,

(30:12):
hey, dude, You've got somewishes left, and I know that
you're hoarding them and being a littleshit about it, but you're asking for
literally impossible shit, and you havethe ability to make them possible if you
weren't being such a greedy cunt aboutit, and you know, like,

(30:36):
go ahead and ask for some ofthese things and make our lives easier and
get what you want. I don'tunderstand why this is such a disconnect.
So he winds up wishing for thebaron to be back to what he looked
like originally, not even like asa nosferatu, just back to what he
looked like when he was a baron. And that look, you guys,

(31:00):
I am going to talk about oncewe get there, because I didn't realize
that's quite what he meant when hesaid it. So when the Baron walks
in, I was like a word. Also another wish he has to make.
Marla wants her parents to come tothe wedding, and apparently she understands
the circumstances of everything, because hesays something about her parents being dead,

(31:22):
and she's just like, well,I just always thought they'd be there.
So he wishes for them to behere, and to also speak English,
and as soon as he hears themout in the hall, Nandor says,
you know what, let's make itthat they actually depart early on Sunday after
brunch, because he had said,like, you know, for the week,

(31:42):
but no, we're not doing that. Guillermo, who has gone to
the corner store to buy more redbull, runs into his friend from the
fucking mosquito catching club. I can'tremember him, Derek, that's his name,
And Derek is I had forgotten avampire. And he doesn't want to

(32:07):
steal from people because he's just like, yeah, I'm a vampire. That
doesn't mean that I have to doa bunch of other sketchy shit. So
he's working the night shift at thisgas station or I guess it's just a
convenient store. I say gas stationbecause like, as a suburbanite, that's
all these stores are ever attached to. But I think this is just like
a bodega. And Guillermo is likemystified at the fact that he is bothering

(32:31):
to work and also realizing Derek issuper lonely and invites him to the wedding
and I really there's a moment wherehe says something about how he'll text him
the information, and Derek didn't realizethat Guillermo had his number the whole time
and just never gotten touch and isreally like sad about it. And I

(32:53):
really felt for him in that momenta little bit, like I understand Guillermo
doesn't have contact with anybody. Hebarely talks his mother, you know,
So it's nothing personal, Derek,honestly, but yeah, I feel like
he's winds up having a great time. So I was happy for him by
the end of this, So okay, yeah, the let's see. Oh

(33:20):
right, I forgot about evil Mabel. She's talking about how Nandor treats Guillermo.
It's a terrible thing to work withsomeone and all you want to do
is please them, but they treatyou like a piece of human shit.
They wish they could just scrape offthe sole of their shoe. And when
she says this, Naya looks ather and says what for a second,

(33:45):
and then it looks for a momentlike it registers, and she gets a
little self conscious. There's a flickerof a glance at the camera, and
I'm sort of wondering if that's goingto make any impression at all because they're
working together a lot better than theyhad been. I haven't seen Nanja being
too rough with her lately, butI wouldn't mind if they were more on

(34:07):
the same team, you know.So yeah, this is she says,
with all due respect, you're beinga real Bridezilla. It's a combination of
a bride and a godzilla. It'sone of those giant lizard creatures that destroys

(34:27):
the cities. I love this wholething, this whole bit. If you
want these impossible things, then you'regoing to have to use your wishes,
all right. Fine. I wishBaron a fuanas to be returned to his
original, non burdened up, notjust a torso form. I wish for
a live Dodo bird that we willslaughter and roast and feed to the Wraithwaite

(34:51):
staff. And while we're at it, I wish that Marble would like all
the same things that I like.And I wish that I'm sorry, but
you've used up all your wishes now. And this is interesting because earlier in
the episode, he asks the Ginhow many he has left, and the

(35:12):
Gin says to him, you know, I can't tell you that I didn't
remember that being part of the deal. But honestly, I really really like
that. I like that he's gotso many, but he has to keep
track of them, and if hecounts wrong, like there may be some

(35:34):
things that the Gin would consider awish that he doesn't. I mean,
I don't really know what you doabout that. Can you argue the Gin
into a corner? Can you lawyerhim into giving you an extra wish because
that didn't really count? Like howwould that work? But I don't know.
I just like that being a contingencybecause having fifty three wishes, it's

(35:55):
fifty three is just such a weirdnumber. I really like that. And
I could see at one point youfind out some of the ways that he
used his wishes, and they werehe was way too fast and loose with
them. He just literally didn't wantto sit up and pull his coffin top
down. He didn't even ask theGin to pull it down. He just

(36:16):
says, I wish for it tobe down, And the Gin says,
I could go call Guierremo, andhe says, if you do that,
it'll be a whole thing. Anotherpoint, he's like, I don't remember
who it is. If it's likeMichael Jordan or what. But he's got
a cardboard cutout of a basketball playerand he wants to play one on one

(36:37):
with the player, but the Ginjust animates the cardboard cutout instead, which
is really a weird scene. Butyeah, so we find out that he
hasn't been as responsible with them ashe should have been. Now Here is
what I would have done. Irub a Genie Lamp. I find out

(37:01):
I have fifty three wishes. Iam telling that Genie to sit tight,
and I am going into conference withall of my closest people and making a
list of every wish one by oneand ensuring we have airtight requests for each

(37:24):
of them so that they don't bounceback on us. And it would take
ages. It would be so involved. I mean, I'd probably take it
like five wishes at a time,you know. I don't think I would
probably do all wishes all at once. I would like there to be like

(37:45):
some some contingencies, like things thatthe Jin can't do because he's bringing people
back from the dead, no problem, and they're not like undead zombies or
any They're just like how I werein life. That's fine, But what
about like bigger things like, ifI were like, I'd like to solve

(38:06):
world hunger by making it so thateverybody has what they need? Can he
do that? Does that even work? You know, there's a whole thing
in a book that I'm not gonnaspecifically name because it's spoilers, where there's
a wish and it has to besomething personal. You get a wish,
and it can't be world peace.It has to be something very specific to

(38:27):
you in your situation. And Ithought that was a really good way to
make it high stakes, like whatyou choose to use it on. But
anyway, so, yeah, heuses up all his wishes. In this
moment, we see the Dodo likewandering around in the background. It's so

(38:47):
weird looking, and then we getyou guys, a really weird commercial for
that Go Up Yourself show, AndI am very unsure what this is because
it feels like we're prepping to seethese guys turn up in the episode.

(39:09):
But we get that commercial and thenwe come back and there's nothing to do
with that. Was anybody else confusedabout it? Like? I thought we'd
at least be like, oh,it's playing in the background while Laslow is
doing something else, and it's notwhat was that. I was really really
confused, But it's just this commercialand then it's over and we're back to

(39:34):
the show as usual. So weare starting the wedding. Sean and Charmaine
have arrived. I just have tosay, Charmaine is so hot it's gross.
It really I keep like forgetting becauseher person soonality is so like,

(40:01):
so high impact and kind of annoyingthat I think I let it eclipse a
lot of the other attributes that shehas. But she is wearing I think,
like this leopard print wrap top andher titties are tittying like crazy.

(40:23):
She's a kind of person that remindsme, oh, yeah, you can
be fat and hot. And she'snot even really fat. I don't even
like, you know, I feellike she's probably like a size twelve or
something, but she's so there's noreservations of like, oh, she's pretty

(40:44):
hot for a fat girl. She'sjust really hot. And I was like,
ah, girl, thank you forthe reminder, because I forget that
I can also still be hot ifI like decide to even put any effort
in which I often don't anymore becauseI just lose I know, the fact
that I could still have that,you know, And we see her and

(41:06):
Sean talking with the vampires and findingout that they're really vampires and that it
doesn't freak them out. Then wehave the baron enter and you all,
this was so wonderful. He's wearingthis like I don't even know what you
call this kind of collar. Icall it popped collar because it's up.
But a popped collar is a collarthat's meant to be worn down flipped up,

(41:30):
and this is a collar that's meantto be up like that. And
I don't know what you call this, but it's like, you know,
the very dramatic red. I thinkit's a brocade jacket, and it's got
this train on it and the frilledwhite sleeves and a rough at his throat
and a it's a rough up toplike the Elizabethan collar, but also like

(41:55):
a lace. I don't know whatyou would call that. Is it a
cravat, I don't know. Buthe's got very long blonde hair I can't
tell if this is a wig ornot, and a white vest, also
brocade, extremely long, elegant hands. He's looking like he's probably late fifties,

(42:25):
early sixties, and both laslow andNaja are talking about how incredibly hot
he is, which you know,I don't really see that he's hot,
but he does have something I'll saythat, and oh, it's not a
white vest it's like a whole vestment. But yeah, he has sex with

(42:51):
Naja in the coatroom later and Laslowis like, don't mind if I do,
and makes a date to meet himin the coat room himself later on.
And then we have Mara. Sheis wearing this beautiful silver and gold
lace and brocade dress. It isreally something, and she is carrying black

(43:15):
and red roses because reminder, heasked for one of his wishes for Marawa
to like all the same things helikes, so that he didn't have to
change anything with the design of thewedding from what he wanted. And they

(43:36):
proceed with the ceremony and he doesthe if anybody would like to speak out
against this, speak now or foreverhold your peace, and for a moment
it looks like nobody is going tosay anything, and then there's an interruption

(43:59):
from mar was mother and she says, a vampire marrying a woman he was
already married to, but then abandonedto die alone, only to be brought
back to life by gin magic.It's just not natural. And she looks
at the gin when she says this, who has a very sort of resentful

(44:21):
expression, and she lets it proceed. But it's just like I just couldn't
not say anything. And then itlooks like we're going to move along,
but not just stands up. Isort of feel like this is more about
Nandor wanting a wedding and to weara big dress than actually wanting to be

(44:42):
married to Marrowa. Facts are facts. I'm going to sit down, I'm
done proceed and then the baron says, anybody else, and all these people
raise their hands, including Nager,who says she has one more thing to
say. And we jumped to onehour later, and there is a line
of people and it turns out someof them are just asking whether or not

(45:02):
they could get their parking validated.Laslow is saying he thinks Laslow is Laslow
thinks marriage is a sham, exceptfor his own marriage. Even Mabel says
that she fell in love with Nandorthe first time she saw him, and
now once she got to know him, the feelings went away. But even

(45:23):
so she can't in good conscience,like advocate this marriage, and then later
on goes on to say that shedid the same thing with Marwa. I
really do enjoy her just being likeinto anybody she fucking meets. I do
like that about her. What ishis name? I already forgot his name.

(45:49):
I'm wanting to call him dexter Ialready forgot. Comes forward to say,
I'm just a bit bummed these twocan find love and get married,
but I can't find one chill budto have a bowl sessh with. I
only very recently became aware the vampiresare real. This is Sean, which,
by the way, doesn't freak meout at all, and it got
me to thinking everlasting life. Youknow, that's a long time, long

(46:15):
time to be with another person.You like her right now. But and
then, Charmaine mar what I justwant to say. I think it's a
little rude that you haven't stopped bymy house with like cookies or anything like
that. You're new to the neighborhood, like that's what people do. And

(46:36):
just you know, I was alreadysaying how hot she is, but seriously,
her titties are basically supporting her head. They are so high up it's
really amazing. So yeah, thiscontinues until finally Nandor is, oh my
god, I forgot about the fuckingyou guys. I forgot about this gargoyle.

(47:04):
I cannot tell you how moved Iam to see you all gathered here.
It turns out he was taught Englishby the baron Time lays waste to
all. All love turns to dust. Ruin is ineedable, all else is
praved. And he just says thatand then continues on his merry way back

(47:30):
to his seat with his fucking wingswearing his little tuxedo. So this is
when Marwa finally steps in and saysthat she wants to get married. Everybody
else can have a problem with this, but and then says, I admit

(47:52):
I have had my dabts about thismarriage as well. I almost called it
off more than once. But thenyesterday a feeling came over me and this
was really something, you guys,because she says, I realized that this

(48:19):
is what Nandor wants, and ifit's what he wants, then it's what
I want. Also when it comesto Nandor, I like what he likes.
And everybody cheers, and he seemsgratified. But when we go to
the reception dinner, he asks herwhen did she suddenly have that feeling come

(48:45):
over her that she likes what helikes? And he realizes basically that in
making that wish, he got somebodyto marry him that didn't want to.
And it's I'm not entirely certain,how like he looks upset a little,

(49:12):
and he, you know, glancesover at the gin, who gives him
a look like, yeah, whatyou think happened is indeed what happened.
And you know, he was lookingfor the perfect mate and was making all
of these changes to her personality andher physical attributes. But then finding out

(49:34):
that she wouldn't have married him andwould have backed out had he not done
this, that's a bridge too far, which I think is very surprising.
I don't think it like, Ididn't think it would have mattered to him
to find out that it wasn't reallylike voluntary or that she wasn't you know
what I'm saying. I just reallyexpected it to be like well perfect,

(50:00):
or to do what I wanted.And all I ever want is exactly my
way, and whatever I need todo to get my way, that's fine,
but instead it seems much more likehe's disappointed to find out that at
least her feelings for him aren't real. And I just didn't really think that

(50:20):
that mattered to him anymore. Ifelt that was it, you know.
So the baron asks him, too, are you going to make her a
vampire? And he says, we'llsee, to which the baron replies,

(50:43):
yeah, that's pretty much what Ithought. So everybody, I think can
tell he's not super serious about this, and the fact that he isn't even
pretending to want to make her intoa vampire, it feels like he's given
up a little bit. I don'tknow. Oh my god, I forgot.

(51:04):
We had this moment with fucking Dexter. Don't remember his real name,
but that's what I'm calling him.And he's on the dance floor with Evil
Mabel, who has her arms wrappedaround him in a way that is like
not totally dance correct, but helooks like he is in fucking hog Heaven.

(51:28):
He is grinning and his mouth isopen and he's looking up to the
ceiling like he can't believe his luck. I'm very very happy for him.
I hope him in Mabel hook upso let me have Marwa going and sitting
next to Guillermo. He tells hershe looks beautiful. Congratulations, and she
says, you have done such awonderful job. I don't know what I

(51:51):
would do without you. And shekisses him on the cheek, and then
she kisses him on both cheeks,and then she hugs him, and then
she squeezes him and hugs him.And I'm going to tell you guys something.
I have my suspicions that when Nandorsaid I want her to like what

(52:12):
I like, that maybe her beingsuper affectionate with Guiermo here may be a
manifestation of how Nandor really feels aboutGuiermo. And that's a wild, wild
guess, but that's what I'm that'swhat I'm thinking, just a complete guess.

(52:37):
The Gin gives Nandor a very smallnew gin lamp that only has three
wishes, and I really hoped Nandorwould show some relief at getting a couple
more chances, but instead just windsabout how it's small and that he can't

(53:00):
use a wish to wish for morewishes, so thanks for nothing. Three
wishes is not nothing, sir,Stop it I wanted to slap and shake
him. I feel like he mayjust use one of those wishes to get
rid of Marwa. I think thatthat might be all he does. So
then we get an original song fromLaslow and Natcha, And this song is

(53:29):
so hilarious and so awful and socatchy. There's going to be a marriage,
and everyone will ask who will comefirst on the wedding night, and
that's the chorus. They sing thata couple of times, and then I

(53:51):
think Nandor might on the wedding night. And he gets fed up and walks
away. Then if his cock feelsright and her pussy is tight, I
swear to God, oh Man Nandora. When he leaves, he comes into

(54:15):
the sort of reception area and hecatches the Najadal and little Colin drawing a
dick on Guillermo's forehead, which heattempts to erase, but it does not
work, so instead he just sortof tucks Guillermo into sleep. Tross is
like jacket up over his head,like he's a corpse. It's really something.

(54:36):
And then we have Najing. He'srelentless in love, he's relentless in
bed. He's Nandor the Relentless.He wears all sorts of capes. He's
not got much in his head.He's Nandor the Relentless. And we have
our last moments with the Gin,who says Nando really has wasted a lot
of wishes on stupid things, andwe see him very tiny, riding on

(55:06):
a bumblebee. I forgot about thatone. And then yeah, he's playing
against I can't see who that is. That's not Michael Jordan. I don't
know who that was. I missedit. But yeah, this like cardboard
cutout moving around. I like theidea that they were going to get a

(55:27):
player to like guest star for aminute, and they just couldn't get anybody,
or couldn't afford anybody, and sothey just decided, all right,
we're just gonna go with a cardboardcutout. That's fine, But I think
that might be the last we seeof the Gin. I'm assuming the other
lamp had a different Gin in it, so be curious to meet that one.

(55:50):
And then we get our very lastlike mid credit scene where Charmaine is
out jogging with her friends and shelooks up and sees Sean with his pants
around his ankles passed out in thepark and she comes running up and is
just like, what the fuck didyou do last night? And he wakes
up and realizes that he can't remember, and then he says, well,

(56:15):
what were you doing? Weren't youthere? And she says, no,
I was in bed by nine o'clockand then stops and goes, oh,
wait, I think I had oneof those CBD gummies that Brenda gave me.
They make me fucking crazy. Andthey argue about whether CBD is marijuana,
and that is the end of theepisode. So yeah, I really

(56:37):
really enjoy the two of them,and I'm glad that they're still making appearances
in the episodes because I wasn't sure, you know, but it's fun to
have some like human beings show upand for the two of them to be
part of things but not and thefact that like Laslo seems to genuinely like
them so much. I don't know, I'm a fan of all of this.

(57:00):
So we'll see where we go nextthough, because I just don't see
Morrow'll sticking around. I just don't. So all right, I'm going to
wrap this up, but thank youvery very much to Max for commissioning this
I hope everybody who has been listeninghas been enjoying the coverage, and until
next time to lou Motherfucker's That wasan unspoiled network podcast.
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