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July 15, 2023 • 54 mins
Thank you very much to Max for commissioning this episode!

So this is the one where Nandor figures out (thanks to Guillermo) that he's in possession of a magic lamp containing a djinn, and he decides that he's in need of some companionship. Instead of asking for a lover created from scratch, he wants someone from his past that he can only barely remember.

Also, Nadja has decided she wants a vampire nightclub and she's getting to work, but shit is going a little left.

Thanks for listening, and I will see you soon with a new episode!

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
This is an Unspoiled Network podcast.This is spoil Me covering what we do
in The Shadows Season four, episodetwo. The lamp. In this episode,
Nandor has some secret treasures, oneof which is a lamp that he

(00:23):
didn't know for these many centuries hada genie in it. Genuinely surprised by
this. I would have thought thiswould be something I need to figure it
out by now When am I goingto learn these vampires or Dodo birds?
Welcome to spoil Me, Welcome tothe show everyone. I am Natasha.

(01:03):
Thank you very much to Max forcommissioning this episode. Thank you Max.
So yeah, this episode is Iam going to tell you guys, like
I try and let folks know whenI have accidentally seen something from like a
thumbnail or a title or something thatmight give a thing away. But the

(01:29):
next episode I saw is titled IThink Grand Opening, and I've got to
confess I was like really thinking itwas going to take longer. I thought
this was going to be a bitmore of a thing, like ongoing the
setting up of the nightclub, soespecially considering the way things go in this

(01:51):
episode, but I'm obviously going toa whole judgment I don't know what's going
on here, but what we've got. In the start of this episode,
Zoe is Naja talking to the cameraabout the changes that they are making to
this liken, you know, convertingthe vampire at counsel to a nightclub,

(02:14):
and she says that it's not goingwell. And Evil Mabel is over here
ripping up blue prints, telling everybodyto stop doing the work that they're in
the middle of doing. And itturns out that the wraiths, which I
keep forgetting, are a thing canjust undo everything the workers have done,

(02:40):
and it's kind of a fun,little like thing here. So what we
find out there's a series of revelationsabout Evil Mabel, and I just really
want to register my delight with thefact that she's becoming a little bit more
of a feature in the show,because her whole character has been so mysterious.

(03:01):
I mean, I don't remember ifher name has even been shared yet.
I just really enjoy this actress alot. Like every role I've ever
seen, her play has been delightfuland very off the wall. She does
it in such a subtle way.Sometimes even when the character is not subtle,

(03:23):
she'll just add these little like physicalsort of ticks, you know,
I don't know. I just reallyenjoy what she does. So there's a
bunch of stuff that winds up comingout in the fair hippie session. I
hesitate to call it that, butI guess that's what we'll go with with
Flaslow. But yeah, she's insistingthat absolutely everything stays the same, nothing

(03:51):
gets moved, and when they ask, like what the filing system is,
she's like, it's the fact thatit stays the same, which isn't really
the thing, but okay, Iguess if you're the only one that needs
to know where anything is that works, Nanja is like, well, don't
you want all of these books protectedfrom my blood sprinklers? And again,

(04:15):
evil Mabel No put it all back, and Laslo says, get fucked.
This took hours and then she says, oh, I wasn't talking to you.
Camera pulls back and everything is asit was. So we have a
bit of a feud that goes onhere and they have to try and get

(04:39):
her on board with the overall concept. The only way that they managed to
pull this off is by lying.I thought maybe they'd win her over in
some legit business way like invite herto get. I don't really know since
they're using vampire headquarters how it works, like making money for just their household.

(05:02):
I would think this would be frownedupon, But I also don't know,
you know what I mean, likelike this sort of governing body.
I don't get what's allowed and what'snot allowed clearly. So Martin says the
circling sawgag with the ladder was straightout of a Buster Keaton film. It
was just hilariously absurd. Oh mygod, I forgot about that. Yes,

(05:27):
yeah, there is just you guys, there's there's a lot of I
felt like this was kind of astandout episode. I wouldn't put it in
like the top five or anything,but I was really surprised how dense with
laughs it wound up being, andhow there are some episodes of the show
that are just real low hanging fruit. Those tend to be a lot more

(05:51):
las low centric. Granted, andwhile I like that can still work if
it's apposed to be that the jokeis that the character goes for low hanging
fruit type jokes. Sometimes it didn'tseem like the show was aware of how

(06:14):
you know what I mean. I'mtrying to remember there was an episode last
season that I remember genuinely being like, what are we doing? Because it
was so it was not funny andnot engaging, and I think that I
kind of went into this season abit worried. And granted, were only
two episodes in, and that's notdecisive. Everything can vary so much from

(06:34):
one to another. I'm not tryingto say that this proves we don't have
anything to worry about, but therewere some times where I sort of felt
as if the show was like losingits legs or direction or just running out
of ideas. And I thought thisepisode got into some really fun questions.

(06:56):
So Nandor, who is still temptingto find a wife, we get to
see him talking to a random womanat a dog park, and it turns
out, first of all, Idon't know how things used to work,
but Nandor thinks that he needs tohave a dowry, which isn't how dowries

(07:19):
really work usually, but granted,okay, sure, and also it doesn't
seem as if he really gives ashit as long as he finds the person
like moderately attractive who they are,which is what sort of puzzling later with

(07:43):
how picky he winds up being withall of the folks that he used to
be married to. It is sheis decidedly unpicky, and then all of
a sudden, it turns out whenhe can be choosy and as this big
menu in front of him, hewill find fault with the silliest shit.

(08:05):
So, this woman that he's talkingto and asking her to marry him,
I really liked her acting. Shedoesn't really get almost any lines. I
think the only thing she asks islike which dog was his? And he
says that he's just here to talkto her and he doesn't have a dog,
which is the sort of thing thatif a guy were actually charming and

(08:28):
felt like non threatening, might seemlike a like a romantic line. But
I really can't think of a guywho could pull that off. I am
truly like, I don't think that'sa good way to go. No matter
who you are, what your vibeis, what you look like, it's

(08:50):
just as a woman, this isbad. You hear a dude is just
here for you, and it's supposedto be a compliment, but it doesn't
feel like when it feels really threatening, And so her acting throughout this scene
as she begins to realize that heis just not quite all there. And

(09:11):
I say that, even with theknowledge that we have as an audience of
what it is he's trying to do, he's not all there. He's just
not We love Nan or bless yourheart, but no, you m this
is not a good plan. Sowe jumped to an interview taking place in

(09:31):
a secret room in the house thathas all of this treasure in it,
and he is bragging about how nobodyknows where it is. And here comes
Guillermo, just wandering in. Ithought maybe what we were going to have
here was that Guillermo had known aboutit the whole time. Oh my god,

(09:56):
I'm so sorry you guys. I'mgonna lose it. I have this
dog going off and now there's afly that is flying directly into my face.
And I was recording one piece beforethis, and this fly like hit
my lips, like got into mymouth, and I thought that I had
swallowed it, and I was hopingit was dead. Even if it meant
that I had to swallow it,I was hoping it was dead. Oh

(10:18):
there we go, finally killed it. That thing was. It's really been
a trying couple of weeks months.It's been a bad decade. It's been
rough. It's a bad decade,okay, But yeah, I kind of
thought it would be fun if notonly did Giermo know this shit was here,
but maybe some things like turned outto be missing and he was taking

(10:41):
things. It would be wildly outof character were Giermo to do that,
But I just liked the idea ofit, because any time that I can
get him to have a moment wherehe's just like getting a bit of his
own back, I want to takeadvantage of it. So yeah, it
turned out that there is a lampin the midst of this that looks very

(11:03):
much like a Genie lamp, andNando keeps like assuring Guillermo, Oh,
it's not trust me, I've triedrubbing it a million times. Nothing ever
happens, and Garmo is like,well, have you tried rubbing it counterclockwise?
Because he always rubs it clockwise,and he's I think Nandor's tries to

(11:28):
say like, of course I have, or maybe he doesn't. Whatever it
is, he goes for it inthe moment, and then all of a
sudden, the whole house begins toshake, and I really like, guys,
tell me I'm not alone in this. I'm just gonna be real with
you all, because I think weall probably do this to some degree.

(11:56):
How much time do you, guysspend fantasizing about what if I had a
genie and had three wishes? Justto you know, I'll do this sometimes,
like a if I suddenly got amillion dollars, what would I do
with it? And I will genuinelylike plan it out. I'll think about
all my credit card debt, mystudent loan debt. Then I'll think about

(12:16):
friends of mine that I know needmoney, like really badly for whatever emergency,
and I will just like parcel outthis imaginary million dollars with total precision
and real care, as if thisis like actual money, and it's just
nothing, it's nonsense, there's nopoint, but my brain finds it soothing

(12:37):
to imagine it. And I dothis also with a genie, and this
is a very different situation because usuallythe genie only gives you three wishes,
which is certainly not the case here. And also I often operate according to
the Aladdin rules, which is tosay, like the Genie and Aladdin,

(13:00):
he can't bring anybody back from thedead. He can't grant like romantic love,
and I think those might be theonly two things that he can't do.
So if I like cut those outof the equation, what can I
do? This genie once again,does not have to follow those rules.
He's bringing people back from the dead. Left him right, And I will
be honest, perfectly, straightforwardly honest. How often the first thing I think

(13:26):
of is changing the way that Ilook, and that's purely because it's a
genie. Like I'm assuming there's nopain, no, nothing has to happen.
If it were money and I couldget like plastic surgery, I would
not do that because it's incredibly painful, it takes a long recovering time.
I would simply not consider it.But if we're talking magic, then sure,

(13:48):
So that's often at the top ofmy list. And then I try
and think about, like maybe Icould just make unspoiled like this massive success
so that I can employ friends andturn this into a business actually helping people
and whatnot. But anyway, Ijust like, I really really am curious
those of you listening if you dothis too, because I think it's just

(14:11):
a sort of idea that wedges itselfin your head from when you're a kid,
because there's lots of like wish storiesout there, and even things like
the Monkey's Paw. I am prettycertain all of us have sat around trying
to figure out a way to constructa wish, even with the monkey's paw,
to keep it from biting us inthe ass. The whole point is

(14:33):
that the wish turns on you somehow, and so we all think we're super
clever and we're going to be ableto find a way in which that does
not happen. And again, pointlessexercise. But I definitely I think it's
just a product of all of uskind of feeling helpless and you know,
unsatisfied a lot of the time,Martin says too much of my spare time.

(14:56):
That I find that very reassuring.Martin, honestly, in my wishes
would be for stuff like terraforming venus, curing pollution, and granting humanity safe
FTL travel. What's FTL, Martin, I'm definitely down with that. I've
always wanted to have a Genie fixmy lazy eye. See there you go,
so you don't have to because likeeye surgery, I'm sure that there
are things that they could do,but like, do you wanna do you

(15:18):
want to do it? I wouldn't. I mean, that's just like it's
scary when people undergo for like plasticsurgery on their body and face. Look
up what it's like to recover fromthat guy's It's really really ugly. Like
it's just not something I'm gonna beinterested in. I don't care if they
could turn me into Kardashian, I'djust not for that praise. I'm sorry,

(15:43):
but yeah, the wishes that Martin'sthinking about are a much more grand
scale terraforming venus. I wouldn't wantto go to venus. I got to
be honest with you, Martin,not thanks. I would you know what
I would want to do, AndI don't know if this is something because
it's so conceptual. If I couldmake every person who has no empathy in

(16:03):
the world or a deficit of itsuddenly have it, I would do that
because that's truly where I feel likeall our problems come from, is just
people. We have the resources,but we don't have any empathy. And
if I could just make that bea thing, I feel like that would
solve like ninety percent of the issuesthat we've got in the world. Oh

(16:26):
FDL means faster than light. Ohthat's fun. I really like that,
especially because I've always said if Icould have a superpower, it would be
what do you call it? Itwould be what is it when you can
like travel through space? I can'tremember the word for it. But I

(16:48):
hate riding in a car somewhere.I hate riding in a plane somewhere.
And I also hate, like ifyou forget something and you'd have to turn
all the way back around and goget it, or even just like really
lazy shit, like I made abeautiful iced coffee the other day. I
was up and about, bustling doingsome things in the kitchen, made the
iced coffee. In the midst ofdoing all of that, I go to

(17:11):
the couch, I sit down,get the puppy cuddled against me, have
my blanket. I'm all settled in, I have my remote, and then
I look up and my iced coffeeis still sitting there on the center island
in the kitchen. If I couldjust go get that and then go right
back to my spot, which justbliss, true greatness teleportation, Thank you
Martin. Anyway, I'm sorry thisis taking a true turn and I am

(17:34):
not on topic anymore. But anyway, so I think it's he's saying gin
in this episode. This chin isfirst of all a person of color,
which I really enjoy that. Andhe is dressed like I don't even know

(17:56):
what to say. He is dressedlike a professor with tenure. He's got
a real sort of like academic vibeto him. And there's also a distinct
sense of I'm here to do thisjob. I am not really that interested.

(18:19):
It is like again, if we'regoing opposite of Aladdin rules, which
it feels like we're doing the Genieand a Laddin hates living in his lamp
and wants to be freed, andevery time he gets to come out of
it, he's very excited about it. But what I get from this shin
is that he lives in a tinyparadise inside that lamp and is resentful of

(18:44):
the fact that this asshole has ruinedhis day because he was having a perfect
smoke weed play Xbox day and thenthis asshole just like came banging on his
roof and he had to go anddo work like he got called in,
you know. So anyway, hehad an academic who got called into work

(19:06):
unexpectedly. And I will say thistoo, he foin. This does not
matter. I just wanted to mentionit. He cute and the whole look,
glasses, facial hair, the wholeenergy of him. I like him.
I would not be mad if he'sstuck around for a while longer.

(19:29):
I believe by the end of thisepisode, Nandor has used up all of
his wishes. I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure. So.
I also enjoy how much he argues, like Nandor is trying to get something
from him, and he is tryingto explain, like that's not really a
good ask, like you might wantto change the way this is working.

(19:52):
Or if Nando's like, well whatabout the guys I think he had a
mustache, he points out like,well three of them had a mustache.
I need you to be more specifichere, and then also clarifies, like
at one point he says something like, do you wish me to answer your
question, and Nandoors says yes,I do, And he's then counting that

(20:12):
as one used up wish, whichis very, very tricky. However,
a little bit later, when Nandorais like he says that he wants something.
The Gin then clarifies is this yourwish and doesn't like go for it,
and then cackle about how oh oh, you didn't say not to do

(20:33):
it, you know. So hesays, I want you to bring back
to life all thirty seven of mydead wives, and the Gin clicks his
pen. He's got a little notebookand pen, and he clicks the pen,
and then all of a sudden,you can hear this babble out in
the main room of the house,and he goes out there and there are

(20:57):
all these people in different costumes,pretty fun and they're speaking in another language.
I'm not sure which language it isthat they're supposed to be speaking,
if it's like a language that's likeexists today, or if it's supposed to
be like an ancient language that whatwe've got today is like a version of
it, you know. But allof these people are just reacting totally differently

(21:18):
to like there's some of them thathave a sort of indulgent expression, some
of them are pissed, and allof them seem to be very unaware that
they were dead and that time hasmoved forward without them. They're in the
house, but they aren't seemingly reallyaware of any of their surroundings or noticing
electric light or you know what I'msaying. I was sort of thinking that

(21:42):
might be a thing, but that'slike not the focus at all here.
It's solely on who they are aspeople compared to what Nandor wanted. And
I deeply love the expression that Guiermokeeps giving the camera because he is not
here for this stupid ass idea.He really doesn't like it, and I'm

(22:06):
starting to think, you know,he has an interview at one point with
the camera where he's saying, youmight think that I'd be jealous, but
I swear I'm not, and Ibelieved him in that moment. But I'm
starting to wonder if maybe somebody whowas like used to be with Nandor when
he was alive might be an exceptionto that because they have like a long

(22:29):
standing relationship, whereas if it weresomebody that he just met at a dog
park, for example, Guillermo wouldhave seniority over them, and there's a
certain feeling of stability that comes withthat. But if it's somebody else,
you know, that has had arelationship with him longer, maybe that's going
to be more of a problem.Martin says, they're speaking FARSI. Okay,

(22:52):
cool, So this the whole thinghere. I'm going to go through
it as we get to those scenes, because the show bounces around from POV
to POV pretty heavily, so I'mgonna come back to it. But what
we get is a series of likemoments where Guillermo he Nandor is extremely shitty

(23:22):
about what he is demanding from apartner. Basically everything he keeps citing as
a plus is the fact that they'revery flattering to him, the fact that
they don't win in fights against him, that they don't argue with him or

(23:44):
bore him with too many stories.There's one girl that he really likes,
but he says that because she's somuch smarter than him, he wants to
cross her off the list. AndGuillermo gives a camera like a real look.
And there was something about this that, like, I just sort of
appreciated the directness of it, becauseI'm one. I was wondering if we

(24:08):
were going to go down this road, if Nandor would be a little bit
more self aware isn't quite the word. I was wondering if Nandor would sort
of recognize that what he was feelingwas like he was being threatened by this
woman's intelligence, but he wouldn't beable to put a name to it,

(24:32):
and he would just be like,there's something about her that I just I
don't feel very comfortable, and itwould all be subtext, but instead we're
getting straight up text, and he'sjust saying, but she's so much smarter
than me, And I have tobe real with you, guys. As
much as that is like a grossattitude to have no doubt, I really

(24:52):
appreciate it just being said with words, because so many dudes actually they actually
feel this way about women they're dating, and they don't want to admit it
in words. They think they wanta woman who can keep up. And
there are some guys who are verydrawn to a woman who is brilliant and

(25:14):
more smarter than them, But thereare a lot of guys out there who
cannot handle it at all, andwhen it happens, they don't seem to
really pick up on what it isthat's bothering them, and a lot of
times you'll get weird, vague answersabout how she's a know it all or
she's bossy, or you know,it just feels like I'm not bringing anything

(25:40):
to the table, just a generalsense of like inadequacy. That is,
if you really boil it down toits components, it is she doesn't need
you because she's smarter than you anddoing just fine, which is part of
why there's like that whole gross movementabout dudes wanting very young women. And
you can tell me it's about looksonly all you want, but it's not

(26:07):
sure. Look certainly play a part. These young women are beautiful, But
what they really don't want our womenwho know what standards to have for a
partner. They want women who justdon't know any better, who are inexperienced
and don't see red flags waving becausethey've never encountered a person like this before

(26:29):
and I just won't demand better becausethey don't think they can. And older
women have fucking had it and aren'tinterested in putting up with horseshit anymore,
so they are often called bitter bythese men. We don't want a day
older women because they're so bitter becauseof you. You embittered us. It's

(26:52):
your fault, and it's because y'allcame after us like you're doing with these
girls when we were way too youngfor you, and we saw the light
eventually and realize what it was youwere fucking doing. And now we know,
and this is why y'all are goingafter the youngsters. They haven't gone
through it yet, they're about to. So anyway, this whole thing with

(27:15):
him, there's just I know thebehavior itself should not be applauded, but
I do just appreciate it being fuckingacknowledged and said with words. It's just
that simple versus Slaslow, who lovesthat Naja's smarter than him. I don't
know that he would admit she wassmarter than him in words, but I
think he knows she is, andI think that is what draws him to

(27:37):
her. I think he likes that. Martin says, part of why I
love this show so much is thatnine of the time the vampires have no
filter. It's just darkly hilarious.Yes. Agree, So okay, let's
jump back into what's going on withNaja and Evil Mabel if I can Hulu.

(27:59):
This is why I hate covering showsthat are only on Hulu because their
player is very bad for jumping backand forth on tabs while I'm recording.
They just hate like pausing and goingaway and coming back. They always give
me a black screen and I haveto refresh. So anyway, we have

(28:19):
all of these human workers in thebackground of both Mabel and Naja's like talking
head moments, and Mabel is tryingto be like I warned. I warned
Naja that it was not safe forher workers here, and she just won't

(28:41):
listen, and she's looking at thecamera with this real sort of innocent air
and like it's tragic really that shedoesn't get it. But then you see
in the background what Martin was mentioninga saw sawing through the floor around a

(29:03):
ladder in the background, and theladder and the dude on it just go
down through the floor, and soyou know, she's trying to act like,
well, you know, it's justthis is an old place and things
are creaky and it's gonna no.She's got her wraiths killing these guys on
purpose. So this is when Najadecides she's going to straight up lie.

(29:27):
I overheard them saying when I wasworking in England at the Supreme Vampiric Council.
Mabel wants to know if they weretalking about her dedicated work. No,
well, okay, I'll tell yousome of them were definitely saying they
think this branch is very much stuckin time and that the real estate would

(29:52):
probably be more valuable if they leasedit to a CVS pharmacy. There's something
about the choice of a CVS that'sparticularly funny, because, like, I
just really see that as a potentialpossibility for a building like this, you

(30:12):
know. Mabel Little says who saidthat? And Naja, making shit up
as she goes along, just saysthe main one, Dark Glory tyrantus the
liquidator of underlings. Uh okay,what do I do? And she starts

(30:32):
to freak out a little bit,and Naja for her to her credit,
although it doesn't change what she's doing, but she looks at the camera with
a sort of like York's expression.Now I'm giving her credit here in that
I think she feels a little badabout making Mabel freak out, But I
think more likely she's looking at thecamera like, oh boy, let's see

(30:53):
if this actually winds up working,like, hold onto your butts, you
know. So she tells the Wraiths, let's stop injuring workers, and we
are going to have a meeting andtalk about what to do, and she
has to wait for all of themto get there, which takes a little

(31:14):
while. It's a pretty fun littlescene when they're startled by how many of
them they are are they keep comingin, and she's also like, m
and y'all don't like to be ontime, do you? But she tells
them all to stop hurting the workers, that we're going to embark on a

(31:36):
new mission and there's going to bechanges made and you guys have to allow
that to happen and actually help.But then a human worker stumbles into the
room, and it's just a verygood moment because I really want to know
what I would think where I hadto walk into a room and this was

(31:57):
what I saw, this fucking thronewith the spotlight and all of these people
in black cloaks with no faces.But this guy steps in here, he's
got a hard hat on, andhe immediately seems to realize, oh wait,
wrong room. It's not like heregisters what he sees, really,
it just seems like he's this wasnot where he intended to go, and

(32:22):
he is about to turn and leave. Immediately the wraiths jump him, and
then you just hear this sort ofcrunch and they back away, and his
uniform and hard hat are on thefloor and there is just a splatter of
blood and that's literally all that's leftof him. So Mabel explains, see,

(32:43):
what I think happened is despite thefact that I am telling the wraiths
verbally to help, they can sensethat in my gut, I do not
want these changes to happen. Iam still very ambivalent. And this is
when Laslow is like, I thinkI can help you with this, actually,

(33:06):
and he talks about psychology and claimsthat the concept of penis envy by
Freud was due to seeing Laslow nakedin a sauna. I think it was
a sauna that originally it was goingto be hand envy. I'm going to
get a little dark here, youguys. So I don't A part of

(33:32):
me even hesitates to like do this, But because it was such a revelation
when I read it, I feellike I need to tell people about it.
And I wish I could source thisbecause it was something that had been
asserted in I think a biography aboutFreud that a person was quoting. But

(33:53):
basically the whole concept of penis envyactually from the number of women and boys
as well that Freud was a doctortoo. He kept repeatedly coming across sexual
abuse in these people's traumas and memoriesand histories, and that was influencing a

(34:17):
lot of the way that they relatedto the world. And nobody in the
families was willing to admit that ithappened, because he's getting this from the
victims. But these victims were notbelieved by their parents, by their aunts

(34:38):
and uncles, by whoever. Andso despite being told by victims what happened
to them, and the very reasonablethen changes in the way they see and
relate to the world because of thattrauma. He got shit on by a

(34:58):
lot of other psychiatrists of the daybecause he was coming after some people who
were a bit high on the foodchain. They were being accused of some
stuff, and everybody wanted him toquash it, and so he changed the
approach from the reason so much ofthis is the way it is is due

(35:22):
to sexual abuse and childhood. Two. Oh, there's a secret desire my
little girls to sleep with their fathers. And I'm just gonna let that sit
there because it is so fucking sick, and explains so much about this weird

(35:45):
penis envy thing that truly doesn't reallymake any sense if you look at it
from any angle. But once youknow, like, oh, he was
just trying to course correct in quotesabout a top of basically like confessions of

(36:06):
terrible abuse. He was trying tolike force that into a particular narrative and
decided, why don't we just blamethe victim on paper and in theory and
make that the whole thing is thatreally, this is what they wanted and
probably either they imagined it because theywant it so bad, or they made

(36:30):
it happen because they want it sobad. Either way, it was definitely
them that initiated and wanted the thing. So anyway, I apologize to anybody
who is upset by this, andI you know, like I probably should
have done a sort of content warningsexual abuse before I started talking about it.
I didn't really think of that.I'm sorry, but I just thought

(36:54):
it explained so many things that Ihad a moment when I first read that
and sat there just like that kindof rage that you get so angry,
But it's like such a huge feelingbecause it opens up so much like so
many doors in your head, you'relike, all of a sudden that makes

(37:15):
sense here and here and here thatyou get like overwhelmed, and so you
shut down a little. So anyway, just you know, that's that's for
all of you out there listening fora little fun trivia that I found out.
So this leads to some really greatscenes where Laslow is questioning her about

(37:40):
how she's feeling in regard to thechanges, and she says that she's,
you know, basically so intertwined withthe building that she can feel all of
the changes in her body, whichLaslow is interpreting everything she says sexually,
which makes a lot of sense.It just does for him as a character,

(38:02):
but also if he were pretending tobe Freud, and if we were
going to be like, oh Freudthinks everything's about sex, still makes sense.
And she says, if there's abrick that gets chipped, I get
a headache. If a steam pipeis backed up, I am also backed
up. Nothing sexy. I'm trulyfascinated about, Like, is she actually

(38:25):
a vampire? She comes to theconclusion later that running the library is her
punishment for sins that she committed,and I'm starting to be like, is
it, or are you a personificationof this building? Like maybe you're not

(38:46):
a vampire in the way that theyare, you know. So he has
her like do a sort of memorysearch because she's trying. He asks her
who she used to be before sheworked here, and she cannot remember anything.

(39:07):
So he's like, okay, we'lldo a little exercise where you're like
going down a hallway and you gointo a room. And when we opened
one of the boxes, what's insidesmaller boxes? And each one has a
label on it. What does thelabel say? Contents even smaller boxes?

(39:30):
You guys, that fucking cracked meup so bad. It's such a stupid
joke, but I truly laughed sohard. So las I was getting quite
impatient with this at this point,and he's like, yeah, all right,
we're gonna get the fuck out ofthere. And then she starts talking
about how she is seeing Guillermo alloiled up. She needs like somebody strong

(39:57):
and powerful to come help you,to to help her get out of this
room that she can't like turn thedoorknob and she sees Guillermo and Laslo's like,
no, I said, somebody's strongand powerful, and she's like,
no, Yeah, that's that's whoit is. He's trying to open the
door, but his hand keeps slippingoff the doorknob due to the oil that

(40:19):
he used to glisten up his nakedbody, and Laslow panics. I love
how completely sex positive Laslow always isuntil it has come down to this with
Guillermo, and then he is deeplyuncomfortable. So what we find out or

(40:45):
do we? That's the question.I was a bad vampire. I was
sloppy, I was wild, Iwas a moth to the danger flame.
I led the position, I dancedthe dance of the seven Veils without the
veils. I was simply put extraand the Gearmo thing. It turns out

(41:15):
she slept with a vampire slayer.The final straw came. I truly adore
this van helsing. She's just likeI knew it was wrong, but that

(41:36):
was like part of it, youknow, the danger, the depravity of
the whole thing. And I honestlythis actress I have said, I love
her work. The thing that shedoes so well to me is bring an

(41:59):
uncomfortable note to anything, and oftentimesthat can be very sexual, either overtly
or subtly. And I'm everything shedoes, like when she is Mabel in
Gravity Falls, she is very creepysometimes because she is so boy crazy,

(42:19):
and so I feel like she doesthat excellently and we get to see a
lot of that showcase here. Ireally really enjoyed it and it makes so
much sense too. I don't knowhow many of you remember, but she
was like up in Guillermo's business whenthey came to the Vimpiric Council the first
time, and I couldn't credit it. I was like, why is she

(42:44):
into him? Everybody else just sortof ignores the familiars and doesn't treat them
with any respect or even acknowledge themusually, and she was not like that,
And I was really like, arewhat are we doing here? And
that means they've been really planning thisa bit for a bit. So yeah.

(43:07):
He What Laslow does is he goesand tries to convince Guillermo that he
needs to seduce Evil Mabel to gether to warm up to the concept of
the Vampire Nightclub and like to getthings to turn the corner. And he

(43:27):
bargains and says, I will dothis for you if you agree to let
me be the accountant for the nightclub. And Najo wants to know why,
and he's like, why not,That's all the reason he'll give. And
I'm not sure what to think aboutit, like is he gonna embezzle?

(43:52):
It doesn't sound like him. Andif anything, I feel like he would
be turning in people who were embezzlingwere he on the job. But why,
but why why does he want this? So we have the scene where
he goes in and he is supposedto try and seduce her, and she

(44:13):
is telling him no right off thebat, but when he goes to leave,
she is right there. And whenI stay telling him no, I
mean about the sex. As faras the nightclub, she is one percent
fine with it at this point shedoes not care, but the sex thing

(44:37):
is really on the table, andshe's just like, yeah, we can't,
we can't give in, and pretendsto let him leave repeatedly and then
just keeps blocking his way out andtalking about how everything that she is feeling
for him is just her kind oflonging for the days that she left behind

(45:00):
where she was misbehaving and it's justa sort of memory of all of that,
and she's like stroking him really slowlywith the like creepy voice that she's
got. Oh my god, she'sso creepy. I love her so much.

(45:22):
Yeah, now I'm gonna go,and you're gonna stay by again.
Can you find it in your heartto just be friends with me? Sure?
I could use a friend. Andhe goes to high five and all
of a sudden, she's got asledgehammer in her hand and she's like,

(45:42):
you know what, let's fucking dothis. Let's make the Vampire Nightclub.
And she begins to go around toevery single like pillar in the room that
has a beautiful, actually intricate hanginglamp and break all of the pillars down.
And it's a very fun scene becauseas she's doing this, and it

(46:05):
truly does seem like she's had somesort of weird breakthrough in a way.
I think it's more like this isall the pent up aggression that she's feeling
for wanting to fuck Guermo and she'strying not to, so she's just taking
it out. There is in theforeground, Laslow and Naja talking about how
much better she's doing now as shecackles and breaks things, and it was

(46:29):
a very good juxtaposition. I likedit a lot so all right, let's
talk about everything with Nandor because I'llreally quickly say very little Colin Robinson in
this episode. There's just one momentwhere one of Nando's wives complains about being
stuck with this kid and that he'sextremely exhausting, which apparently still an energy

(46:51):
vampire, so that's good to know. But yeah, we have a series
of like very short vignettes of Nandorwith various people. I like that some
of his wives were men, andhe is trying to remember out of all
of them, which was the onethat he actually loved, because he remembers
there being one, and none ofthe people as we go along are the

(47:17):
one. So he sends them intothe room with the Gin, who he
says, oh, he's got agold coin to give you, and the
Gin just puss them back into death, which Guillermo is counting as murder.
Guillermo, I don't know how totell you this. You work for murderers,

(47:46):
You know that, right, Bud? Are you aware it's an odd
moment to get all precious about itall of a sudden, like, what
do you think is happening? I'mjust curious because they're having you bury the
body, So I thought we allgot what was happening here, but he

(48:09):
just keeps being kind of like,well, that just sounds like like they
were dead already, they got unnaturallybrought back them being here is the weird
part, not the dead part.It's fine, It's absolutely totally fine.
I don't see throwing these folks outinto the regular world and then being able
to make it like we've just advancedlike thousands and thousands of years and they're

(48:35):
just supposed to go out and geta job at Target, Like come on,
so anyway, that whole thing.I wanted Nandor just say something about
like, well, even if itis murder, I do do that,
but it doesn't come up. TheGin, for his part, is extremely
bored. He is just so sickof this, and he is sick of

(48:59):
Nandor and he does not like there'sjust no sense from him of thinking this
is funny or I sort of thoughtit might be kind of a like,
let me laugh at this guy,but no, it's just again, Okay.

(49:20):
Eventually, at the end, thereis one woman that he is saying
is the one, and I amnot certain whether I believe it or not.
I think that whatever he valued backin the day would not be what
he valued today. So I amgoing to guess that probably the first person

(49:44):
that he dismissed was the person thathe loved in his previous life, like
it was, you know, hispersonality has just changed so much. And
the woman I kept thinking that thiswas the woman who plays She Hulk,

(50:06):
And I know it's not Tatiana Muslani. I think it's how he's say her
name. I don't think it is. She does look a lot like her,
though. If it is her,I'm going to feel like a Dodo,
But I don't think it is.She just looks a lot like her.
I think it's the eyebrows that reallydo it, and she has huge
eyes. But yeah, he issaying that, definitely she's the one.

(50:30):
And as he's saying this, hesteps back to talk to the Gin and
she's in the foreground and she's talkingabout the education that she had and my
passion led me to science and mathematics, and I really appreciate this so much.

(50:51):
Mike was proud of that, myobservations of Jupiter and Saturn. As
she's talking about these amazing accomplishments,he is just changing her hair color like
she's a paper doll, and shekeeps using up all these wishes from the
gin because she's just having him switchher hair color around and around and then

(51:14):
putting it back to how it was. I am very happy to have a
man of such intellect to share mylife with. And I can't tell if
she is serious. I think sheis and doesn't realize what a goon he
is quite yet. But I wonderif she's going to be around next episode,

(51:37):
because this is going to be reallyunpleasant for her when she starts to
put together what the fuck this goonis? Like? Ooh, sorry,
Martin says. I like the goldencoins detail, as it's probably a reference
to ancient Greek myth and the fairfor the dead souls to give care on
the ferryman. Oh right, togive it across the river six. Yeah,

(52:00):
that's a fun idea. I likethat the woman is Paris fuck free.
I hope I'm saying that name right. A voice actress who does a
lot of anime for Funimation. Ohthat's cool. Nandor still has some wishes
left at the end of this episode. Okay, because he used one wish

(52:20):
to bring everybody back is every timethe gin kills them again, also a
wish. I couldn't remember if thatcounted or if that was kind of part
of the package deal, because doeshe operate with like package shields. I
don't know how that goes, butyou know, anyway, I'm really really

(52:46):
curious though, like, if itdoes turn out that she isn't what he
was looking for, will he tryand kill her or is he gonna like
sort of grow attached enough he letsher decide to go out and live her
life, and is she Like Ijust is she gonna be much of a

(53:07):
plot point or not? Because thisshow can be very surprising. I'll think
I know what direction we're going withsomething, and then they just don't do
that and it gets brought up again, like eight episodes later. But then
there are times where I think,oh, probably this was just like a
situation of the week, and itturns out to be like the whole season,

(53:30):
you know. So I just don'tknow which direction we're going in with
this at all. Oh my god, Martin says he might turn her into
a vampire. Hi Martin, howdid I not think of that? Oh
my god? It literally didn't crossmy mind that he might consider turning her

(53:52):
into a vampire. I feel likea real fucking nube. Good god,
oh my god, I'm so embarrassed. Oh anyway, all right, I'm
going to wrap this up, butthank you again so much Max for commissioning

(54:12):
this episode. I really appreciate you. And until next time to the loue.
Motherfucker's that was an unspoiled Network podcast.
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