[Verse 1] He left Pink to escape the grind Said, “No more titles — I need unwind” Joined Noah for chill… that was the goal Now he’s R5. Classic Cruni role.
[Verse 2] He says he hates stress, he says “not for me” Then builds excel sheets till quarter to three Counts frags like treasure, logs every stat But don’t call him leader — he’s not doing that
[Chorus] Cruniac the mild, the modest, the zen Just a man with more frags than ten grown men Speed-ups galore, heroes? He needs none But hey — who needs use when hoarding is fun
[Verse 3] Romeo’s snoring, the only sane soul While Jim’s in Pink losing all control Corbin’s playing victim with poetic flair Cruni? Quiet. Counting. Fully aware but doesn't care
[Chorus 2 – The Flex Bomb] He showed us his stash, all chill and polite We saw over thousand frags — just… alright Someone fainted. I bit my screen. Rombsky rage quit and joined a knitting team.
[Bridge] Said he needed rest, less heavy load Now he’s leading wars and decoding code Doesn’t shout orders, just shares a chart And somehow rewrites everyone’s part
[Final Chorus – Bob’s Closing Words] Now he’s the king he never applied to be Spreadsheets open, counting quietly Drops a “Bob’s your uncle” mid repair Then disappears — was he even there?
[Outro] No campaign, no plan, no royal decree Just kindness, a bulldog, and pure strategy He left for peace… then conquered the game Cruniac: too calm to blame
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