Episode Transcript
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During the three and a halfyears I was in prison, I wrote
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over a million words by hand.
Tales from the Jails is acontemporaneous account of my
life, and attempts to thriverather than merely survive
whilst incarcerated.
Most names have been changed,but the events have not.
Episode 41 Drones, Lockdowns,Guns Drugs It's the 6th of
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November, the day after bonfirenight.
It was strange and surreal lastnight, listening to the
fireworks from inside prison,but with memories locked in the
outside world.
It said on the news, a quarterof a million people attended the
waterfront display only twomiles from where we sit.
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We're in lockdown again, thethird time so far this week,
another security riskapparently.
The rumours are, there's a gunin here, delivered by a drone.
The implications are reallyserious.
The drones are arriving thatoften, it's like an Amazon
delivery service or Ryanair inand out of Manchester Airport.
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On the front page of InsideTimes, it says the biggest drugs
find in HMP has been discovered.
Five kilos of Spice in HMPNorthumberland.
The lockdown means no gym, whichonly heightens tensions.
On Thursday there was to be anannouncement in Parliament on
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prison reform.
That was hijacked on Wednesdayevening on the 10 o'clock news,
when the head of the prisonUnion said he would go to prison
for his members and what hebelieves in.
Apparently, sources say thatthere are 10,000 less prison
officers since 2010.
There are thousands of assaultsa year.
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Deaths are up 40%.
The stats were not alarming, butfrightening.
I'm lucky.
I had a visit on Friday, Freddy,JB and Al.
What a sight for sore eyes.
I tell them there are slashingsand stabbings daily.
Freddy later said on the phonethat Al can't get his head
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around why I would stay, butcan't stop laughing at my
response.
It's great content.
I told Freddy and the guys thatevery day for over a week,
someone in here has been slashedor stabbed, often multiple
attacks each day.
It was straight back to workafterwards, and I cut three
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heads, including Mr.
C's.
The Glumster has turned out tobe a prize prick on an epic
scale.
He's a sick note, rude, vulgar,depressed at best, and morbid at
worst, and completely fuckingselfish.
It's the 8th of November andwe're back in lockdown.
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Three times last week and dejavu by Tuesday of this.
Once again, we are sat in ourcell.
It's 10 past nine, and we'realready listening to Funeral FM.
No of call to T, no work, nogym.
Can you believe it thatporridge, my pen and paper are
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my survival kit.
T will know it's anotherlockdown and probably why.
What triggered this latest eventhas made the national news.
Two inmates have escaped fromPentonville yesterday.
It's the classic escape fromAlcatraz stuff, mannequins in
the beds, sawing through thebars, and climbing high barbed
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walls.
Apparently no one knew they'descaped until midday.
Cutbacks and staff shortages arealready being blamed.
One of the escapees has justreceived 28 years, and you would
imagine had plenty of incentivesand nothing to lose.
Both guys are off the same wingas the prisoner who was murdered
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last week.
Only 48 hours ago, mobile phonefootage was uploaded to the net
and social media of 230 inmatesin HMP Bedford running riot and
out of control.
That made the news too.
Day by day the broken prisonsystem is making the headlines.
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Deaths, attacks and the loss ofcontrol are regular statements
heard.
Last night, as a result ofBedford, we work late in
reception, meat wagons full ofprisoners from there, shipped to
here.
It was chaos.
The riot squad was here waitingfor them.
Once it started to get heavy, wewere taken back to our pads and
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away from the madness.
Mornings like this, I sit at mydesk with a cup of coffee and my
pen.
How come one not think what awaste of a life?
Selfishly, I mean my own.
I feel like a lone flower in abarren wasteland.
Sometimes my pad mate remindsme, this is real jail.
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At one point, Mr.
S and Mr.
D unlocked the door and came in.
No work, instead a pad search,although they didn't bother.
Instead, Mr.
S prefer to talk about Trump.
He's a big fan.
His parting comment was, Homesunder the Hammer for you lads
today.
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Batten down the hatches.
There'll be no work, it's cellsearches all day, and gone.
My pad mate, who is very funny,was gutted he won't get his wash
in today.
He said he couldn't think ofanything worse than trying to
escape.
Where do you go?
Especially if you're on thenational news.
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We both agreed that if you wereone of the Manchester lads or
the guys on the super long drugsentences, then you've got to
take the opportunity if itarises, especially if you have
the funds.
That's the game changer in allof this.
The Bedford lads are below us inthe block and they do not sound
happy.
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I've said plenty of times, youcan wake up in one bed and end
up sleeping in another.
They've been dragged out ofBedford, driven 200 miles in the
meat wagon and then slung in theblock here.
I was down there only a fewweeks ago, and it was the worst
night of my life.
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I'm not defending anyone inprison, but once any of us
descends the stairs from court,we lose our liberty, our
freedom, our rights...
and any chance of living withrespect or safety for as long as
we are incarcerated.
We're dehumanized.
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Ironically, we're a reflectionof society and the really sad
thing is the footage that's goneviral is doing none of us in
here any favours when it comesto public opinion.
I remind myself there arehundreds of lads in Walton
trapped behind the door for 23hours or more a day.
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A normal day is junk tv, junkfood, or starving.
An unhealthy lifestyle andexistence, not to mention the
chronic mental and emotionalstress.
Why wouldn't you want to takedrugs or meds to escape the
futility of our plight?
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Lights out, or should I say TVoff is later tonight.
The American elections are on,Hillary versus Trump.
All the polls and media have hernailed on.
It looks certain she's going tobe the new president tomorrow
morning.
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It's Saturday.
I might as well start withThursday the 10th of November,
though.
Inside Britain's Prisons byCutting Edge on Channel 4.
We've all been looking forwardto it since it was trailered a
fortnight ago, and at 9:00 PMlast night it was interesting
that the wing had an eerie quietfeel about it as the lads
watched.
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I've been saying of late thatit's not about the reality of
something, but the perception.
I thought the programme did showmany of the harsh and brutal
aspects of life inside prisonand behind bars.
It gave a small window or aglimpse into the poor
conditions, mental healthissues, the drugs epidemic,
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which is mainly Spice and thenumber one most discomforting
topic, bullying.
Most of the footage used wasfrom mobile phones in prison,
but the footage uploaded ontothe internet.
It certainly brings into focusmany of the horrors that
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prisoners witness or experienceregularly.
I wondered what people watchingthis who knew me might be
thinking.
T, my daughter, my mother, myfriends, etc.
Thankfully, this last week orso, things have quietened down
again with The Despicables.
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Blobby, Toenail's number onegimp, has been sacked and had to
do the walk of shame.
He received a dawn pad raid andstuff from reception was there.
It cost him his job.
They allowed him to come to workso that they could sack him in
front of everyone and send out aloud and clear message.
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It's clear the officers, inparticular, Mr.
P, are onto The Despicables.
Number One, and Toenails arevery, very quiet.
Mr.
P hates any arrogance from thelads down here.
And by that I mean those whobecome over familiar, think that
they're more important orsomehow special.
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Once there's a whiff of this, hewants you gone.
Number One and Toenails had thestupidity to start calling some
officers by their first name,over familiar stuff.
Blobby.
He's been in a depression forweeks whilst waiting for the
Governor's kangaroo courtbecause his previous pad made
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brought it on top when his exmissus rang in complaining he
was ringing her and beingabusive from a mobile phone in
the cell.
Unbelievably he only received 14days suspended for 21, which he
was thrilled with.
Ironically, Blobby avoided beingtag team to the phone, but has
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been found out with a bag ofcontraband, including deodorants
and aftershaves, which couldhave only come from reception.
His days are numbered in here,and a ship out is imminent.
I can't deny, Karma seems tohave had its own brand of
justice, but the big news is,Toenails and Number One threw
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him under the bus to the shockof the lads.
They remind me of Burke andHare, the Scottish grave robbers
and murderers.
With them nothing and no one issacred.
Toenails is edging closer to CatD eligibility and although he's
doing the big talk, or should Isay tough talk, i.e, I don't
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want to be going to Cat D, fullof wankers who can't handle
their prison, but I can see hewants out here quicker than The
Glumster.
The dynamics are changing.
Mr.
P loves a sackings purge,notorious for it in fact, and
Cat D exits are on the horizonand can't come too soon for
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Toenails.
If it's not cat D for him, thenit's sackings and ship outs.
He and Number One aren't stupid.
None of us are safe down herewith Mr.
P.
He loves the power and playingwith us.
It's psychological as much asanything.
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It's like Damocles' swordhanging over us all of the time,
but it did make me think if Mr.
C and Mr.
H are having hair cuts off me,then that must be a good sign,
in a strange type of way.
JC has been amazing, stood by meall the way and definitely been
a peacemaker or smoother overerof many tense situations.
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He's in for murder and thenicest person I've met so far in
here.
Can you believe it but I wasnestled between two Ms.
M equals murder.
There was the Jedi, who's in formanslaughter.
He killed his best friend,strangled him in the fishing
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lake.
Another irony is that his chargewas downgraded from murder to
manslaughter by prosecutorUnsworth, who was famously
parachuted into pick up thetrial or our trial, when JR, the
buffoon prosecutor in our case,had a breakdown in the courtroom
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in the middle of the trial.
That's a story for another day.
The irony is that the young Jedireceived seven years for killing
a person, whilst I receivedseven years for standing up and
doing the right thing.
The other M, on my right wasTroy, a really nice lad.
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He was found guilty in theManchester murder trial when I
first landed.
He received over 30 years rec.
He's been in jester stripes forfour months.
That's a man size babygrow thatmust be worn at all times for
those who are flight risks orpotential escapees.
He's hoping for an appeal asmuch as I am.
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We talk about the processwhenever we're free at the same
time on the wing.
He was like a kid on Christmasmorning, stood in his own
clothes.
Watching Troy over the months,I've got to say he's conducted
himself really well.
Not a scally, no, it's like he'sbeen brought up by loving,
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caring parents.
Certainly not the type youexpect to be caught up in a
murder.
As I say, JC is being a star,and although he's in for a truly
horrific murder, ie, the 60seconds of madness, he's one of
the nicest blokes I've ever met,very caring and considerate.
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He told me yesterday that in thecouple of years since he's been
a Listener here, he's done over2000 ACCTs.
Basically, it stands forsomething like assessments,
caring, custody and teamwork.
It's a process used in prisonsto support individuals at risk
of self-harm or self-inflicttheir own death aka suicide.
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He often opens up and confides,releasing the pressure from the
job and the place and theregrets.
I asked him, who'sprofessionally speaking with
him.
This is very intense, heavystuff we're experiencing, and JC
has been exposed to it directlyto the point of over 2000 times.
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It's Sunday, T has been in tovisit me today.
She did a 10 K run aroundDelamere Forest last night,
miner's lamp strapped to herwrist.
Truly, madly and deeply, I'm inlove and she is my hero.
Before I left for my visit, orshould I say, when they came to
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escort us to visits, another kidwas slashed only meters from our
cell.
In the holding room aftervisits, a place I hate nearly as
much as the cells below thecourt, 40 plus of us squeezed
into a room, like cattle in anabattoir compound, I managed to
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speak with one of the ladsworking over on the medical
wing.
He's a proper funny Scouser.
I knew he'd be able to tell meor give me an update what was
happening with the Frenchman.
He summed it up as alive, what afucking nuisance, and said that
if he didn't kill himself, he'dgladly volunteer for it.
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By the time I returned to thecell, it was lockdown again.
Tonight is decompressing from alove visit, writing and watching
The Magicians.
That starts at seven o'clock.
Then it's Planet Earth,Tutankhamun, and Match of the
Day Two.
Liverpool won 6-1 againstWatford, and we're now top of
the Premier League.
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The wings are high on theresult.
Loads of the lads areterrorizing the bitter Blues of
Everton.
There'll be a lot of banging ondoors later, and more abuse each
time a goal goes in.
Tribal, that's what football is,even in prison.