Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
A cornucopia of
stupidity masquerading as a
podcast.
Critics have hailed it aseverything from and.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Hello there, welcome
back to the Team Wingard podcast
, and I'm your host, dave Morgan, and, in case you haven't
noticed, we are now available onSpotify and Apple Podcasts, two
of the biggest podcastingplatforms around or not
platforms.
You know what I mean, whereveryou listen to your podcasts, so
I'm adding to the smaller ones,if people actually listen to
(00:27):
them.
Hopefully I'll get found a bitmore.
So let's see how this goes,shall we?
So an idea I've been toyingwith is how can I get other
people onto the podcast, and?
Um, I figured out a way.
Don't actually need people tobe here having another
microphone.
Even though I have the twomicrophones, as we found out
(00:49):
with the one with Josh last time, I can actually record phone
calls on the phone.
With the iPhone I have, there'sa button that has record the
conversation, so I press recordand it actually tells both
people that we are recording andI can have just a normal
conversation.
So it actually worked a littlebit.
(01:11):
I had a phone call last night,so I tried it for a few seconds
and, um, I'll add the audio inhere.
All, right, now I just want totalk about this for a few
seconds because I want to trysomething that way, right?
No, no, trust me, there'snothing suspicious.
But I was thinking how goodwould this be to do a podcast?
(01:32):
So actually.
So if I can talk to someone onthe phone like this and then
transfer the audio to thecomputer and do podcasts that
way too, that would be very cool.
So, as you can see, it actuallyworks.
That was taken from a recordingfrom my iPhone.
(01:53):
So if anyone wants to be a partof this, you don't even have to
come to my house.
I can do this remotely, and Inever knew I could do it until
last night.
So, please, anyone, this couldbe anyone at all.
I'm excited Because my mateJason up in Newcastle.
I want to get him on thepodcast Because he and I can
(02:13):
talk for hours.
We probably shouldn't Becausewe'll ramble, but it would be
fun to have him on there Becausehe and I have had a lot of fun.
He's a Canadian wrestler now inSydney, training in the Hart
Dungeon over in Calgary, so I'dlove to have him on there, and
he's beaten me up in a couple ofdifferent states, so I'd love
(02:33):
to have him on here.
So now I've found an easy wayof doing it.
But anyone else I'd love tohave you on.
I'd prefer you to come herebecause it'd be fun just to hang
out too.
But if time doesn't permit that, we can always have like a 10,
15-minute conversation and wecan have a lot of fun.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Now you wouldn't know
it from some of the things I've
said over the years, but I likepeople.
I do.
I like people, but I like themin short bursts.
I don't like people forextended periods of time.
(03:15):
I'm all right with them for alittle while, but once you get
up past around minute minute anda half, I got to get the fuck
out of there.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Okay, now, I just
recently recorded a video
talking about how distractedI've been lately.
Here I was planning on startingTeam Wiggett and plans to take
over the internet world and thenI got distracted like I
normally do.
Now I'm sure most of you haveseen, or some of you may have
seen, or some of you actuallydidn't give a shit, but I'm in a
(03:52):
relationship which was totallyunexpected.
But, yes, my friend Leanne, who, well, my girlfriend now Leanne
but yeah, last year we caughtup for a little while, kept
catching up and yeah, and thatleads us to Valentine's Day,
(04:12):
because Leanne doesn't believein Valentine's Day.
So I thought I'm going tochange that.
We had Valentine's Day weekend,so it went for Friday, saturday
and Sunday.
And, yeah, lots of fun thingslike hiking Sky, high Burke's
Lookout, gelato, getting lost,finding Gelato.
(04:36):
What else did we do?
We watched Phantom of the Opera, we had acarmies, we had bacon
and cheese toasties for dinner.
Valentine's Day night Sunday,that's's right.
We were watching Hitchhiker'sGuide to the Galaxy, the
original series from the early80s, the BBC production.
(04:58):
Because, yes, we found we hadthat in common and now we found
we have, like, a lot of Britishcomedies, like Red Dwarf and
that sort of stuff.
So I guess, when it comes towinter and the weather sucks
outside, we're going to bewatching a lot of that sort of
stuff and just laughing ourasses off, and it's just going
to be fucking ridiculous, thesilly little things we're going
(05:19):
to laugh at and go, oh, that'sfunny, oh, what about that
episode and this episode?
And we're just going to bebouncing off like young ones and
Blackadder and all sorts ofBritish comedies, which is going
to be really, really, reallycool.
I would tell you more aboutLeanne, but I'm not sure if I'm
allowed to yet.
She may actually jump on apodcast here and there.
She thinks it would be probablybetter than being on camera.
(05:41):
So each their own.
So, yes, if she does actuallycome on to a podcast one day,
then we'll tell the story of howlong we've known each other and
all that sort of shit, becauseit's kind of funny.
But yeah, so anyway, on tosomething else.
Not quite according to plan.
Complications arose, ensued,were overcome and just like that
(06:04):
, spotify have shut me down.
Well, not shut me down, butthey've sent me a letter saying
I'm no longer allowed to playthe songs at the end of the
podcast because it's copyrightedmusic and blah blah.
Yeah, okay, understandable,they never stopped me the first
time, but obviously, because I'mjust starting up this one, it's
like nope, we're gonna slap youon the wrist before you do
(06:25):
anything stupid.
So there will be no more musicat the end, or not the
copyrighted music.
What I am going to do is findthe funny sort of stuff off
TikTok and that hopefully notcopyrighted, and see if I don't
get a slap in the wrist for thattoo.
So yeah, just bits and piecesthat I think are funny.
Goddamn Spotify, big commercialbastards.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
It's time to cosplay
as a person who has their shit
together.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Alright, back to
Leanne for one second.
We were over there.
Josh and myself were over ather place that day and Josh had
started watching the HarryPotter movies, something I still
have not bothered watchingbecause meh don't care, it's not
my thing, apparently Haven'twatched it, so I don't know, but
I just don't care, it's not mything, apparently haven't
watched it.
Say what I know, but I justdon't watch it.
(07:16):
So Leanne's a big fan whileshe's watched all the movies.
So her and Josh were having agreat conversation about it and
then they put on the first movieand I was just making fun of
shit.
Hagrid looked like I think itwas.
Hagrid looked like a big bikerdude to me.
Josh was talking about how hecame in on the bike and it
looked like a scene from ET tome.
Josh was talking about how hecame in on the bike and it
looked like a scene from ET.
And Leanne was talking aboutDobby, the house elf.
(07:38):
So I thought that was ET, andthen I confused it with Smeagol
and Gollum.
So I'm like I want a wrestlingmatch with ET, Gollum and Dobby
like a three-way midget, aliensort of weird creature fucking
fight.
And my goodness gracious me,those two were just looking at
me shaking their head and going,oh shut up, God damn, you just
(08:01):
ruined it.
But yes, I was having fun in myown way, because I don't know
what the hell they were talkingabout.
So apparently there's a HarryPotter exhibition coming to
Melbourne.
I think it's April.
Tickets go on sale nextWednesday, so I think that's
March the 5th and apparently I'mgetting dragged along to that.
So I've got until Aprilsometime to watch all 15
(08:25):
squillion Harry Potter movies.
I'm not going to read the books.
I don't give a shit.
What they have will be coveredin the movies, and that's my
definition of homework.
Josh and I will sit on thecouch and watch a movie each or
every couple of days and goright.
Okay, let's see if I retain thatfor the next one, which I
(08:46):
probably won't, because I've gotthe attention span of a I don't
know goldfish, I don't know, Ithink that's it.
Span of a, I don't knowgoldfish, I don't know, I think
that's it.
Um, what else have we done?
Oh, I, because of this, I wentand bought josh hogwarts legacy.
It's a big, open world harrypotter game for the ps5.
Now, not what I'd normally play, but I started up for him, so
(09:11):
it loaded and all that startplaying for half an hour.
Yeah, no, give me Grand TheftAuto.
Any day I can shoot people andrun people down the cars.
I'm not making spells.
There's way too much talking inthis game.
You've got to talk to peopleand learn shit.
No, no, no, that's not whatvideo games are for, but Josh
(09:31):
seemed to like it, so good forhim.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
And what do we say
when people want to get to know
us better?
All aboard, welcome to the HotMess Express.
Choo-choo no.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
So, as we come to the
end of yet another episode, I
think I'm up to episode three.
I think it is.
I really should be moreconsistent, a little bit more
productive, a little moredistracted I mean a little less
distracted Shit.
No wonder I can't focus on shit, but anywho, I don't know what
I'm going to play at the end now, but I'm sure I'll find
(10:06):
something fun on TikTok andtransfer the music over, so
hopefully it gives you a bit ofa giggle.
Let's face it, life's way tooserious these days.
We all need a bit of a laugh,so that's why I throw the little
soundbite things in between me,talking First of all to break
it up and second of all, just togo.
You know what?
I find it funny, so hopefullysomeone gets a laugh out there.
(10:28):
So, yep, thanks for listeningagain.
Don't forget to check theYouTube channel.
There's shit that goes up onthere.
I've actually put another photoup on the Instagram Team Wing
it.
So yeah, I'm trying to be a bitmore active.
I want to actually get thisthing going again.
False start, but here we goagain.
Shall we Story of my fuckinglife?
(10:48):
All right, let's move on withthis instead of me just waffling
on like everything normal Allright toodaloo Welcome to the
shit show.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Every single day A
new flavor of fuckery, cause
everybody's such you, you see,and they're dumber than a bag of
swaps.
Monday bullshit, tuesdaybullshit, wednesday hey, what
the fuck?
And then four more days ofincreasingly stupid, ridiculous,
(11:22):
ignorant, boulder-dash,poppycock, bollocks and fuckery.
Yeah, we'll do it all overagain.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.