July 8, 2025 • 29 mins
The long shadow of trauma doesn't simply disappear with time, especially for teen mothers who've experienced violence and abuse. Rather than fading into the past, unresolved trauma physically embeds itself in the body, rewiring the nervous system and reshaping brain development in ways that continue affecting mothers decades later.
Dr. Chris unpacks the neurobiological reality of trauma, explaining why many adult women who were teen mothers experience heightened sensitivity, emotional reactivity, and difficulty regulating their responses—not because of character flaws, but because of physical changes to their nervous systems. Drawing from trauma specialists like Jasmin Lee Cori and pioneering researcher Peter A. Levine, she explores how traumatic experiences create a state where survivors are simultaneously "revved up and constricted," functioning with "a foot on the accelerator and brake at the same time."
This episode offers a compassionate understanding of the brain science behind trauma, detailing how emergency responses get trapped in the body, creating a "stacking effect" where each subsequent stress compounds upon unresolved previous experiences. Particularly illuminating is Dr. Chris's explanation of how trauma impacts three brain regions—the survival-focused reptilian brain, the emotion-centered limbic system, and the thinking-oriented neocortex—affecting everything from memory to concentration to emotional regulation.
Beyond simply explaining trauma's physical impact, this episode offers practical pathways toward healing. From somatic (body-based) therapies to improving self-regulation—your emotional thermostat—to building resilience, Dr. Chris shares how mothers can gradually reclaim control of their nervous systems. Using the powerful metaphor of freeing a car stuck in snow, she illustrates how healing happens not through forcing the process but through gentle back-and-forth movements that gradually build traction.
Ready to understand why past trauma still affects your mothering today and discover pathways toward genuine healing? Join our supportive community of teen mothers and adult women who were teen mothers by visiting teenmomsa.org or connecting with us on social media @TeenMomsAnonymous.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Hi everyone, thanks for tuning in to our Teen Moms
Anonymous podcast.
We are a podcast for teenmothers and adult mothers who
were teen mothers, especiallythose who survived violence and
abuse.
Our focus is on emotionalhealth and wellness, because we
know that emotionally healthymothers are better equipped to
nurture the emotionaldevelopment of their children.
I'm your host, dr Chris Stroble, founder of Teen Moms Anonymous
(00:50):
, a ministry for teen mothersand adult mothers who were teen
mothers, and the award-winningauthor of Helping Teen Moms
Graduate Strategies for Family,schools and Community
Organizations.
In a prior episode I talkedabout how adult mothers who
experience the tale of violencethat is so prevalent in the
lives of teen mothers oftendon't want to talk about the
(01:13):
violence and abuse in their past.
Their stance is it's in thepast, I've let that go, I've
forgiven that person.
I'm not going to keep talkingabout what's in the past.
It's understandable youwouldn't want to talk about the
violence and abuse in your past,but if you have not taken
decisive steps to heal fromthose traumatic experiences,
(01:34):
they are not just in the past.
They're showing up in your lifetoday as a 20, 30, 40-year-old
mother.
This is because trauma getsstuck in the body and impacts
our nervous system, braindevelopment and emotions.
This is what today's episode isall about Understanding how
trauma gets stuck in the bodyand how it impacts our nervous
(01:57):
system, brain development andour emotions.
For today, I'm referencing theaward-winning book Helping Teen
Moms, graduate, by Christine MStroble, and Jasmin Lee Cori's
book Healing from Trauma, whichis all about understanding your
symptoms and reclaiming yourlife.
In today's episode, as with allour shows, the content is for
(02:19):
informational purposes only.
If you feel you need to talk tosomeone, please consult a
medical doctor or licensedprofessional counselor.
If you feel you need to talk tosomeone, please consult a
medical doctor or licensedprofessional counselor.
If you are in an emergency,please dial 911 or go to your
nearest emergency room.
So let's get started.
It will help to understand howtrauma gets stuck in the body,
(02:39):
if you understand what happenswhen we experience a traumatic
event, events like violence andabuse that's so prevalent in the
lives of teen mothers.
So consider this what happensin trauma?
A traumatic event, is anemergency for the body, and the
body reacts to this emergency.
Sometimes it reacts by fight orflight, which we've all heard
(03:01):
about, but sometimes it can't doeither and ends up freezing.
This freezing is also calledimmobility response because we
become immobilized, paralyzed byour terror.
One of the innovativeresearchers in trauma, Peter A
Levine, believes that traumaresults when our instinctual
(03:23):
responses that fight or flightto a traumatic event, aren't
allowed to cycle all the waythrough.
So an emergency happens, wefreeze and, unlike our animal
mentors, we don't shake at all,release the energy in our
(03:48):
nervous system.
That arousal stays in the bodyand leads to symptoms of
post-traumatic stress disorder,which Jasmin Lee Cori discusses
in Chapter four of her bookHealing from Trauma.
Chapter four is all abouttrauma-related disorders.
With this undischarged energy,our system becomes more
sensitized and the next traumaor upset stacks on top of this.
(04:09):
With the stacking effect, eachnew trauma adds more energy,
your symptoms get worse and youfeel more and more helpless when
something difficult happensbecause you haven't learned how
to physiologically deal with it,deal with it in your body.
Holding all this stacked upenergy in the body has a very
(04:31):
disorganizing influence.
influence asmin says itdisorganizes our nervous system
and how we process information.
We're both revved up andconstricted at the same time.
And every time we get into astate of physiological arousal
which Jasmine notes can comeeven with normal excitement,
pleasure or surprise everythinghooked up with the trauma tends
(04:55):
to get re-stimulated.
What a mess, she writes.
Levine likens it to having afoot on the accelerator and the
brake at the same time.
It is thought that in PTSDpost-traumatic stress disorder
there is a cycling back andforth between hyperarousal and
the freeze response.
(05:16):
This may show up as alternatingbetween a highly sensitive
reactive state and numbing.
Highly sensitive reactive stateand numbing.
Jasmin writes on page 15 thatif you zoom in very, very close,
you will see that the distresschanges the cells of the nervous
system, tipping it toward beingmore excitable.
(05:36):
In a process called kindling,this excitability increases.
This shows up in our lives asbecoming more easily triggered
and more difficult to calm down,because the nervous system is
now its own source ofprovocation.
It is very hard to change thecycle.
(06:00):
Repeated trauma, as Jasmincontinues, can deplete certain
neurotransmitters that areovertaxed, which in turn leads
to mood swings, depression andother post-traumatic stress
disorder symptoms.
It can also lead to beingunable to tolerate high levels
(06:20):
of stimulation, which is to saymost aspects of modern life.
She says high levels ofstimulation, which is to say
most aspects of modern life.
She says this overstressedcondition leads to reactivity,
which she discusses in chapterthree.
But I'm going to read thissection now because it offers a
(06:40):
really clear and relevantexplanation of reactivity and as
I read this, think aboutyourself and how you respond to
situations.
Are you highly reactive andsensitive and maybe have a
bigger reaction than thesituation calls for?
So she writes this.
I'm going to read this frompage 28.
As trauma survivors, there areareas of our life where we are
(07:02):
particularly sensitive.
Often, these are the placeswhere we are less protected and
more thin skinned.
We may have more sensitivestomachs, more sensitive ears
and more sensitive hearts.
Some of the sensitivity we maybe born with, and some of it may
be the result of trauma with,and some of it may be the result
(07:27):
of trauma.
Part of this responsiveness mayfeel like a liability to us,
but part of it is an asset.
It's an asset when it allows usto tune into the needs and
feelings of others, though notat the expense of our own, or
when our aesthetic sense andintuition are more keenly
developed and we're able to feelsubtle energies that others
don't have, even that othersdon't even know exist.
(07:50):
It's a liability when we can'tgo places that other people go,
when we have chemicalsensitivities and when we
constantly get our feelings hurt.
Another way to talk about thisthin-skinned quality is to say
that trauma tends to make youmore reactive.
(08:11):
Reactivity here means having abigger reaction than the
situation calls for.
Whether it is more fear, moreinsecurity, more anger, more
distrust or more of any otheremotion, we all get reactive at
times.
Yet those who are caught intrauma-related disorders become
(08:32):
reactive a lot of the time.
She continues to write that ithelps if you can understand this
reactivity.
You're not reactive becauseyou're choosing to be a pain to
those around you is not simplythat you're.
It's not that you're simply adrama queen, and it doesn't mean
you're irreparably broken ordeeply flawed.
(08:55):
It just means something ishitting a raw nerve, stimulating
something related to the trauma.
Or your nervous system ispermanently wound up to the
trauma, or your nervous systemis permanently wound up,
overworked, exhausted, or yourimmune system compromised.
Living with a high level ofemotional reactivity is hell.
It's no fun for you and no funfor people around you.
(09:18):
You feel sensitive abouteverything and feel like life
never lets you rest.
Being reactive is essentiallyfeeling chronically overwhelmed.
So now think about yourself.
Or think about yourself is howdo you respond to situations?
Are you sensitive and highlyreactive.
(09:40):
This being highly sensitive andreactive is an example of the
violence and abuse that you mayhave experienced, that that is
not just in your past, thattrauma impacts your nervous
system and is likely showing upin your life today, as a 20, 30,
40 year old mother.
It's impacting how you respondto situations and others, how
(10:04):
you you relate to yourself,others and your children.
Understanding how traumaaffects the body can help you
understand your symptoms and youcan stop blaming yourself for
them.
It's really all about whathappened to you.
As I was saying, Jasmin notesthat repeated trauma can deplete
(10:24):
certain neurotransmitters thatare overtaxed, which in turn
lead to mood swings, depressionand other PTSD symptoms.
It can also lead to beingunable to tolerate high levels
of stimulation, which is to say,most aspects of modern life.
(10:45):
She says this overstressedcondition leads to reactivity,
which is being highly sensitive.
When we're reactive, it's likeour switchboards can't quit
firing.
The alarm bells are ringing,the fire station has been called
and all hell is breaking loose.
When we're aroused like this,we don't have a big range of
options.
When the fire department hasbeen called, it's no longer an
(11:08):
option to go back to bed.
It's not so easy to ratchetdown and see that there is no
problem, at least not until yournervous system can regain
self-regulation and becomemodulated again.
Later in this chapter, jasminediscusses self-regulation, which
, as she writes, is a wonderfulterm but it took her a long time
(11:29):
to understand it and it is adifficult concept to understand.
But before discussingself-regulation, she discusses
how trauma impacts braindevelopment and that much of
what happens in trauma occurs inthe lower brain centers, the
survival brain Caught in lowerbrain centers.
(11:51):
Jasmin writes on page 16 that alot of what happens in trauma
and in our subsequent reactionsoccurs below the thinking brain,
which functions almostautomatically.
It is helpful to understand thedifferent levels or sections or
registers of the brain.
At the very base of the brainstructure is the brain stem and
(12:15):
cerebellum.
This is the survival brain,called the reptilian system,
found in a reptile's brain.
It is primarily concerned withphysical survival and
maintenance of the body and itoperates automatically quite
automatically, she says.
The next register or level ofbrain center is the limbic
(12:37):
system, which includes two areaswe read about often in trauma
research the amygdala and thehippocampus, related to emotion
and memory.
Exposure to chronic trauma canshrink the hippocampus,
resulting in memory loss as wellas decreased ability to put
traumatic events in context andto see them as past rather than
(13:02):
current events.
The amygdala has been linked tothe emergency alarm systems.
An over-revved amygdala createsa state of ongoing arousal and
a host of mental health problems.
After the development of thelimbic system, the next level up
or register up is that of theneocortex, the cerebral cortex
(13:27):
brain, which makes it possibleto learn, think, imagine, plan
and use language.
While these three systems areintricately linked, any one of
them may predominate at a giventime.
In trauma states and duringtimes of danger, it's generally
the more primitive survival partof the brain that takes over.
(13:49):
Hovering at this lower survivalbrain, life is dull.
This is because it's our higherbrain, the cortex, that gives
life the richness and complexitythat is the basis for what we
might call meaning in life.
Our opinions, tastes,preferences and emotional
(14:10):
nuances are irrelevant to thesurvival brain.
In fact, Jasmin writes thatthey'd be in the way.
So when we are in survival mode, which happens during some
states of activation or alarm,the survival brain in essence
turns off these features,leaving us with just the bare
facts.
(14:30):
And we're trying to survive.
The similar shutting down ofthe higher thinking centers
occurs when the emotional brain,the limbic system, gets very
active.
When that happens, emotiontends to take over and the
thinking brain, the prefrontalcortex, shuts down.
Some of the results you mightsee in situations that include
(14:53):
trouble focusing orconcentrating, being highly
distractible, poor short-termmemory, poor impulse control so
you act more impulsively poorjudgment, being very
disorganized and you may thinkthis sounds a lot like me.
Well, if your story is one ofrepeated violence and abuse,
(15:14):
this is how those traumaticevents impact brain development
and leads to these symptoms.
So we truly are the result ofwhat has happened to us.
The question is not why is thatperson acting that way, it's
what happened to that person.
And in their book, WhatHappened to You, Oprah Winfrey
(15:35):
and Dr.
Bruce Perry, a childpsychiatrist and neuroscientist
who studies the brain,challenges readers to shift from
focusing on what's wrong withyou or why are you behaving that
way, to asking what happened toyou.
What happened to you as a teenmother?
If your story is part of thattale of violence and abuse that
(16:00):
is so prevalent in the lives ofteen mothers, these traumatic
events play a huge impact in howyou are behaving today,
reclaiming your life.
You may be asking can I regaincontrol and reclaim my life and,
if so, how?
(16:21):
Jasmin argues that to reclaimour lives and take back the
control room, we must know,understand and practice
self-regulation.
As she writes, self-regulationis a wonderful term that took
her a long time to understand.
Self-regulation is like havinga thermostat and being able to
(16:44):
regulate the temperature in theroom, but in this case we're
talking about our own energyflows, our moods, our own energy
flows, our moods, physiologicalarousal, and meeting our
physical and emotional needs.
Another word forself-regulation is
self-modulation.
Self-regulation is the abilityto bring your system back into
(17:08):
balance after it has beenactivated.
So you may be asking how do Iself-regulate?
How do I regulate thethermostat, the temperature,
bring my system back intobalance after it has been
activated?
Well, she notes that somatic orbody-based trauma therapies
help us achieve this, but alsoordinary activities like sleep,
(17:30):
exercise, self-soothing andspending time in nature.
Learning to regulate youremotions and physiology of your
body is a skill that takespractice, doesn't happen
overnight.
In terms of somatic body-basedtherapy, the one you may be most
familiar with is massagetherapy, and in her book Healing
(17:52):
from Trauma, Jasmin identifiesand explains several more
body-based therapies.
Words related to self-regulationinclude regulated and
dysregulated when we're withinthe bounds set by the thermostat
, which, jasmine notes, we arein control of.
We are regulated.
When we fall into chaos oroutside our normal range, we are
(18:16):
dysregulated.
Trauma survivors, she writes,are often dysregulated in their
physiology, their body, theiremotions and also their lives.
And all of this is to say thattrauma impacts the body.
And all of this is to say thattrauma impacts the body.
It impacts our nervous system,brain development and emotions.
(18:37):
It leaves a footprint, tracksin the body.
And, as Bezel van der Kolk hopeI pronounced his name right
says in his classic recoverybook, the body keeps the score,
but we can reclaim our lives.
Another part of taking back thecontrol room is resilience,
(18:58):
which is the ability to bounceback.
Resilience, bouncing backresilience is the ability to
bounce back and recover.
The dictionary equates it withelasticity, the ability to
spring back quickly into shapeafter being bent, stretched or
deformed.
Jasmin writes as you can see,it is quite a magical quality.
(19:23):
It is magical when you canrestore to wholeness what has
been mishappened, when what wasbuckled and bowed becomes
upright again.
Without resilience, we would bevery deformed.
(19:43):
She writes.
Imagine if every fall and flowwe ever experienced remained
visible in our structure, ifevery scratch and scrape were
still on our faces.
This also holds true on apsychological level.
She says we don't want to carryaround the imprints of every
scolding, every rejection, everydisappointment and heartbreak
(20:06):
we've ever experienced.
If it were not for resilienceand the process of repair, we
couldn't open again, couldn'trisk again, couldn't love again.
So resilience, our ability tobounce back and recover, is very
important.
Jasmin ends chapter twodiscussing how to get started
(20:27):
healing from trauma, how to getout of being stuck, and I love
the illustration that she offersabout growing up in the Midwest
, and I'm just going to readthat briefly.
She says as someone who grew upin the Midwest, I learned how
to get my car free from stuck onice or in snow.
You can't get out of a stuckplace just by putting your foot
(20:52):
on the gas.
You get free by rocking backand forth, back and forth, until
you've gotten enough tractionthat you can really move.
Likewise, you get out of traumanot by spinning your wheels in
it, but by moving back and forthin very small increments until
you have enough traction.
(21:13):
This moving back and forth iscalled pendulating or
oscillating.
She shares more in this chapterand again, if you want to know
more about getting out of beingstuck in trauma.
Her book Healing from Trauma isa great resource.
So just to wrap things up as Iopened, adult mothers who
(21:34):
experience the tale of violenceand abuse that is so prevalent
in the lives of teen mothersoften don't want to talk about
the violence and abuse in theirpast.
Their stance is it's in thepast, I've let that go.
I've let that go, I've forgiventhat person.
I'm not going to keep talkingabout what's in the past.
It is understandable youwouldn't want to talk about the
(21:56):
violence and abuse in your past,but if you have not taken
definitive steps to heal fromthat violence and abuse those
traumatic experiences, to healfrom that violence and abuse
those traumatic experiencesthey're not just in the past the
impact of that trauma is likelyshowing up in your life today
as a 20, 30, 40 year old mother.
This is because trauma getsstuck in the body, affecting our
(22:19):
nervous system, braindevelopment and emotions.
Understanding how traumaaffects the body can help you
understand your symptoms and youcan stop blaming yourself for
them.
Today I talked about whathappens in trauma.
A traumatic event like violenceand abuse is an emergency for
the body and the body reacts tothis emergency.
(22:41):
Sometimes it reacts by fight orflight, which you've all heard
about, but sometimes it can't doeither and it ends up freezing
and, unlike our animal mentors,we don't shake it off.
Without a way to safely releasethe energy in our nervous
system, that arousal stays inthe body, gets stuck in the body
and leads to symptoms ofpost-traumatic stress disorder
(23:04):
PTSD, and leads to symptoms ofpost-traumatic stress disorder,
PTSD.
I discussed trauma's impact onbrain development and the
different levels of braindevelopment.
The three levels include thesurvival brain or reptilian
system, which includes the mainstructures.
It is primarily concerned withphysical survival and
maintenance of the body and itoperates quite automatically.
(23:25):
The next level, or register of,is the limbic system, which
includes two areas we read aboutoften in trauma research the
Amygdala and the Hippocampus,related to emotion and memory.
Exposure to chronic trauma canshrink the Hippocampus,
resulting in memory loss as wellas decreased ability to put
(23:47):
traumatic events in context andto see them as past rather than
current events.
I discussed the next level, orregister up of brain development
is the Neocortex, theprefrontal cortex, sometimes
called the top of the brain,which makes it possible to learn
, think, imagine, plan and uselanguage.
(24:08):
While these three systems areintricately linked.
Any one of them may predominateat a given time.
In trauma states and duringtimes of danger, it's generally
the more primitive survivalbrain that takes over.
Hovering at this level thesurvival brain, life is dull.
This is because it's our higherbrain that gives life the
(24:31):
richness and complexity andmeaning.
I discussed how to reclaim yourlife and take back the control
room.
It starts with self-regulation.
Self-regulation is like havinga thermostat and being able to
regulate the temperature in theroom is like having a thermostat
and being able to regulate thetemperature in the room, but in
this case we're talking aboutour own energy flows, our moods,
(24:51):
our physiological arousal andmeeting our physical and
emotional needs.
Self-regulation is the abilityto bring your system back into
balance after it has beenactivated.
When we fall into chaos oroutside our normal range, we are
dysregulated.
Trauma survivors, Jasmin writes, are often dysregulated in
(25:13):
their physiology, their body,their emotions and also their
lives.
I talked today about theimportance of resilience, the
ability to bounce back andrecover.
The dictionary equatesresilience with elasticity the
ability to spring back quicklyinto shape after being bent,
stretched or deformed.
(25:35):
As you can see, she writes, itis quite a magical quality.
It is magical when you canrestore to wholeness what has
been mishappened, when what wasbuckled and bowed becomes
upright again.
Without resilience, we would bevery deformed.
She writes.
Imagine if every fall or flawwe ever experienced remained
(25:59):
visible on our structure, ifevery scratch and scrape were
still on our faces.
This also holds true on apsychological level.
We don't want to carry aroundthe imprints of every scolding,
every rejection, everydisappointment and heartbreak
we've ever experienced.
If it were not for resilienceand the process of repair, we
(26:22):
couldn't open again, couldn'trisk again, couldn't love again.
So resilience is very important.
I finished talking about how toget moving, how to get out of
being stuck, and Jasmine writesabout her experience growing up
in the Midwest and getting hercar free when it was stuck in
ice or in snow.
You can't get out of a stuckplace just by putting your foot
(26:44):
on the gas.
You get free by rocking backand forth, back and forth, until
you've gotten enough tractionthat you can really move.
Likewise, you get out of traumanot by spinning your wheels in
it, but by moving back and forthin very small increments until
you have more traction.
(27:05):
This back and forth movement isknown as oscillating, and she
talks more about this also inher book Healing from Trauma,
which is a great resource if youwant to get stuck out of the
trauma that you've experienced.
So this is our show for today.
Thanks for listening to our TeenMoms Anonymous podcast.
We are a podcast for teenmothers and adult mothers who
(27:29):
were teen mothers, especiallythose who survive violence and
abuse.
Our focus is on emotionalhealth and wellness, because we
know that emotionally healthymothers are better equipped to
nurture the emotionaldevelopment of their children.
I'm your host, Dr.
Chris Stroble, founder of TeenMoms Anonymous, a ministry for
teen mothers and adult motherswho were teen mothers, and the
(27:51):
award-winning author of HelpingTeen Moms Graduate Strategies
for Family, Schools andCommunity Organizations.
I hope this information hasbeen helpful to you.
If it has, send us a messageWe'd love to hear from listeners
.
You can email us at info@teenmomsA.
org Again, info@ teenmomsA.
(28:12):
org.
That A stands for anonymousteenmomsA.
org.
Or you can visit our website,teenmomsA.
org, fill out the contact formand, finally, we are committed
to walking alongside you on yourjourney of healing and recovery
, so stay connected to us.
Follow us on social mediaInstagram and Facebook at Team
Moms Anonymous, visit ourwebsite, teenmomsA.
(28:33):
org, and subscribe to our blogand our podcast.
If you're in the GreenvilleSpartanburg area of South
Carolina, we offer localin-person support groups where
teen mothers and adult motherswho were teen mothers can
connect with each other, withothers who've walked your
journey.
You will find emotional andmoral support and find
information and resources tohelp you grow into a more
(28:56):
confident, skilled woman andmother.
undefined onsider joining oneof our support groups.
We look forward to connectingwith you.
So thanks again for listeningto our Teen Moms Anonymous
podcast.
We'll see you the next time.
Hi everyone, thanks for tuning in to our Teen Moms
Anonymous podcast.
We are a podcast for teenmothers and adult mothers who
were teen mothers, especiallythose who survived violence and
abuse.
Our focus is on emotionalhealth and wellness, because we
know that emotionally healthymothers are better equipped to
nurture the emotionaldevelopment of their children.
I'm your host, dr Chris Stroble, founder of Teen Moms Anonymous
(00:50):
, a ministry for teen mothersand adult mothers who were teen
mothers, and the award-winningauthor of Helping Teen Moms
Graduate Strategies for Family,schools and Community
Organizations.
In a prior episode I talkedabout how adult mothers who
experience the tale of violencethat is so prevalent in the
lives of teen mothers oftendon't want to talk about the
(01:13):
violence and abuse in their past.
Their stance is it's in thepast, I've let that go, I've
forgiven that person.
I'm not going to keep talkingabout what's in the past.
It's understandable youwouldn't want to talk about the
violence and abuse in your past,but if you have not taken
decisive steps to heal fromthose traumatic experiences,
(01:34):
they are not just in the past.
They're showing up in your lifetoday as a 20, 30, 40-year-old
mother.
This is because trauma getsstuck in the body and impacts
our nervous system, braindevelopment and emotions.
This is what today's episode isall about Understanding how
trauma gets stuck in the bodyand how it impacts our nervous
(01:57):
system, brain development andour emotions.
For today, I'm referencing theaward-winning book Helping Teen
Moms, graduate, by Christine MStroble, and Jasmin Lee Cori's
book Healing from Trauma, whichis all about understanding your
symptoms and reclaiming yourlife.
In today's episode, as with allour shows, the content is for
(02:19):
informational purposes only.
If you feel you need to talk tosomeone, please consult a
medical doctor or licensedprofessional counselor.
If you feel you need to talk tosomeone, please consult a
medical doctor or licensedprofessional counselor.
If you are in an emergency,please dial 911 or go to your
nearest emergency room.
So let's get started.
It will help to understand howtrauma gets stuck in the body,
(02:39):
if you understand what happenswhen we experience a traumatic
event, events like violence andabuse that's so prevalent in the
lives of teen mothers.
So consider this what happensin trauma?
A traumatic event, is anemergency for the body, and the
body reacts to this emergency.
Sometimes it reacts by fight orflight, which we've all heard
(03:01):
about, but sometimes it can't doeither and ends up freezing.
This freezing is also calledimmobility response because we
become immobilized, paralyzed byour terror.
One of the innovativeresearchers in trauma, Peter A
Levine, believes that traumaresults when our instinctual
(03:23):
responses that fight or flightto a traumatic event, aren't
allowed to cycle all the waythrough.
So an emergency happens, wefreeze and, unlike our animal
mentors, we don't shake at all,release the energy in our
(03:48):
nervous system.
That arousal stays in the bodyand leads to symptoms of
post-traumatic stress disorder,which Jasmin Lee Cori discusses
in Chapter four of her bookHealing from Trauma.
Chapter four is all abouttrauma-related disorders.
With this undischarged energy,our system becomes more
sensitized and the next traumaor upset stacks on top of this.
(04:09):
With the stacking effect, eachnew trauma adds more energy,
your symptoms get worse and youfeel more and more helpless when
something difficult happensbecause you haven't learned how
to physiologically deal with it,deal with it in your body.
Holding all this stacked upenergy in the body has a very
(04:31):
disorganizing influence.
influence asmin says itdisorganizes our nervous system
and how we process information.
We're both revved up andconstricted at the same time.
And every time we get into astate of physiological arousal
which Jasmine notes can comeeven with normal excitement,
pleasure or surprise everythinghooked up with the trauma tends
(04:55):
to get re-stimulated.
What a mess, she writes.
Levine likens it to having afoot on the accelerator and the
brake at the same time.
It is thought that in PTSDpost-traumatic stress disorder
there is a cycling back andforth between hyperarousal and
the freeze response.
(05:16):
This may show up as alternatingbetween a highly sensitive
reactive state and numbing.
Highly sensitive reactive stateand numbing.
Jasmin writes on page 15 thatif you zoom in very, very close,
you will see that the distresschanges the cells of the nervous
system, tipping it toward beingmore excitable.
(05:36):
In a process called kindling,this excitability increases.
This shows up in our lives asbecoming more easily triggered
and more difficult to calm down,because the nervous system is
now its own source ofprovocation.
It is very hard to change thecycle.
(06:00):
Repeated trauma, as Jasmincontinues, can deplete certain
neurotransmitters that areovertaxed, which in turn leads
to mood swings, depression andother post-traumatic stress
disorder symptoms.
It can also lead to beingunable to tolerate high levels
(06:20):
of stimulation, which is to saymost aspects of modern life.
She says high levels ofstimulation, which is to say
most aspects of modern life.
She says this overstressedcondition leads to reactivity,
which she discusses in chapterthree.
But I'm going to read thissection now because it offers a
(06:40):
really clear and relevantexplanation of reactivity and as
I read this, think aboutyourself and how you respond to
situations.
Are you highly reactive andsensitive and maybe have a
bigger reaction than thesituation calls for?
So she writes this.
I'm going to read this frompage 28.
As trauma survivors, there areareas of our life where we are
(07:02):
particularly sensitive.
Often, these are the placeswhere we are less protected and
more thin skinned.
We may have more sensitivestomachs, more sensitive ears
and more sensitive hearts.
Some of the sensitivity we maybe born with, and some of it may
be the result of trauma with,and some of it may be the result
(07:27):
of trauma.
Part of this responsiveness mayfeel like a liability to us,
but part of it is an asset.
It's an asset when it allows usto tune into the needs and
feelings of others, though notat the expense of our own, or
when our aesthetic sense andintuition are more keenly
developed and we're able to feelsubtle energies that others
don't have, even that othersdon't even know exist.
(07:50):
It's a liability when we can'tgo places that other people go,
when we have chemicalsensitivities and when we
constantly get our feelings hurt.
Another way to talk about thisthin-skinned quality is to say
that trauma tends to make youmore reactive.
(08:11):
Reactivity here means having abigger reaction than the
situation calls for.
Whether it is more fear, moreinsecurity, more anger, more
distrust or more of any otheremotion, we all get reactive at
times.
Yet those who are caught intrauma-related disorders become
(08:32):
reactive a lot of the time.
She continues to write that ithelps if you can understand this
reactivity.
You're not reactive becauseyou're choosing to be a pain to
those around you is not simplythat you're.
It's not that you're simply adrama queen, and it doesn't mean
you're irreparably broken ordeeply flawed.
(08:55):
It just means something ishitting a raw nerve, stimulating
something related to the trauma.
Or your nervous system ispermanently wound up to the
trauma, or your nervous systemis permanently wound up,
overworked, exhausted, or yourimmune system compromised.
Living with a high level ofemotional reactivity is hell.
It's no fun for you and no funfor people around you.
(09:18):
You feel sensitive abouteverything and feel like life
never lets you rest.
Being reactive is essentiallyfeeling chronically overwhelmed.
So now think about yourself.
Or think about yourself is howdo you respond to situations?
Are you sensitive and highlyreactive.
(09:40):
This being highly sensitive andreactive is an example of the
violence and abuse that you mayhave experienced, that that is
not just in your past, thattrauma impacts your nervous
system and is likely showing upin your life today, as a 20, 30,
40 year old mother.
It's impacting how you respondto situations and others, how
(10:04):
you you relate to yourself,others and your children.
Understanding how traumaaffects the body can help you
understand your symptoms and youcan stop blaming yourself for
them.
It's really all about whathappened to you.
As I was saying, Jasmin notesthat repeated trauma can deplete
(10:24):
certain neurotransmitters thatare overtaxed, which in turn
lead to mood swings, depressionand other PTSD symptoms.
It can also lead to beingunable to tolerate high levels
of stimulation, which is to say,most aspects of modern life.
(10:45):
She says this overstressedcondition leads to reactivity,
which is being highly sensitive.
When we're reactive, it's likeour switchboards can't quit
firing.
The alarm bells are ringing,the fire station has been called
and all hell is breaking loose.
When we're aroused like this,we don't have a big range of
options.
When the fire department hasbeen called, it's no longer an
(11:08):
option to go back to bed.
It's not so easy to ratchetdown and see that there is no
problem, at least not until yournervous system can regain
self-regulation and becomemodulated again.
Later in this chapter, jasminediscusses self-regulation, which
, as she writes, is a wonderfulterm but it took her a long time
(11:29):
to understand it and it is adifficult concept to understand.
But before discussingself-regulation, she discusses
how trauma impacts braindevelopment and that much of
what happens in trauma occurs inthe lower brain centers, the
survival brain Caught in lowerbrain centers.
(11:51):
Jasmin writes on page 16 that alot of what happens in trauma
and in our subsequent reactionsoccurs below the thinking brain,
which functions almostautomatically.
It is helpful to understand thedifferent levels or sections or
registers of the brain.
At the very base of the brainstructure is the brain stem and
(12:15):
cerebellum.
This is the survival brain,called the reptilian system,
found in a reptile's brain.
It is primarily concerned withphysical survival and
maintenance of the body and itoperates automatically quite
automatically, she says.
The next register or level ofbrain center is the limbic
(12:37):
system, which includes two areaswe read about often in trauma
research the amygdala and thehippocampus, related to emotion
and memory.
Exposure to chronic trauma canshrink the hippocampus,
resulting in memory loss as wellas decreased ability to put
traumatic events in context andto see them as past rather than
(13:02):
current events.
The amygdala has been linked tothe emergency alarm systems.
An over-revved amygdala createsa state of ongoing arousal and
a host of mental health problems.
After the development of thelimbic system, the next level up
or register up is that of theneocortex, the cerebral cortex
(13:27):
brain, which makes it possibleto learn, think, imagine, plan
and use language.
While these three systems areintricately linked, any one of
them may predominate at a giventime.
In trauma states and duringtimes of danger, it's generally
the more primitive survival partof the brain that takes over.
(13:49):
Hovering at this lower survivalbrain, life is dull.
This is because it's our higherbrain, the cortex, that gives
life the richness and complexitythat is the basis for what we
might call meaning in life.
Our opinions, tastes,preferences and emotional
(14:10):
nuances are irrelevant to thesurvival brain.
In fact, Jasmin writes thatthey'd be in the way.
So when we are in survival mode, which happens during some
states of activation or alarm,the survival brain in essence
turns off these features,leaving us with just the bare
facts.
(14:30):
And we're trying to survive.
The similar shutting down ofthe higher thinking centers
occurs when the emotional brain,the limbic system, gets very
active.
When that happens, emotiontends to take over and the
thinking brain, the prefrontalcortex, shuts down.
Some of the results you mightsee in situations that include
(14:53):
trouble focusing orconcentrating, being highly
distractible, poor short-termmemory, poor impulse control so
you act more impulsively poorjudgment, being very
disorganized and you may thinkthis sounds a lot like me.
Well, if your story is one ofrepeated violence and abuse,
(15:14):
this is how those traumaticevents impact brain development
and leads to these symptoms.
So we truly are the result ofwhat has happened to us.
The question is not why is thatperson acting that way, it's
what happened to that person.
And in their book, WhatHappened to You, Oprah Winfrey
(15:35):
and Dr.
Bruce Perry, a childpsychiatrist and neuroscientist
who studies the brain,challenges readers to shift from
focusing on what's wrong withyou or why are you behaving that
way, to asking what happened toyou.
What happened to you as a teenmother?
If your story is part of thattale of violence and abuse that
(16:00):
is so prevalent in the lives ofteen mothers, these traumatic
events play a huge impact in howyou are behaving today,
reclaiming your life.
You may be asking can I regaincontrol and reclaim my life and,
if so, how?
(16:21):
Jasmin argues that to reclaimour lives and take back the
control room, we must know,understand and practice
self-regulation.
As she writes, self-regulationis a wonderful term that took
her a long time to understand.
Self-regulation is like havinga thermostat and being able to
(16:44):
regulate the temperature in theroom, but in this case we're
talking about our own energyflows, our moods, our own energy
flows, our moods, physiologicalarousal, and meeting our
physical and emotional needs.
Another word forself-regulation is
self-modulation.
Self-regulation is the abilityto bring your system back into
(17:08):
balance after it has beenactivated.
So you may be asking how do Iself-regulate?
How do I regulate thethermostat, the temperature,
bring my system back intobalance after it has been
activated?
Well, she notes that somatic orbody-based trauma therapies
help us achieve this, but alsoordinary activities like sleep,
(17:30):
exercise, self-soothing andspending time in nature.
Learning to regulate youremotions and physiology of your
body is a skill that takespractice, doesn't happen
overnight.
In terms of somatic body-basedtherapy, the one you may be most
familiar with is massagetherapy, and in her book Healing
(17:52):
from Trauma, Jasmin identifiesand explains several more
body-based therapies.
Words related to self-regulationinclude regulated and
dysregulated when we're withinthe bounds set by the thermostat
, which, jasmine notes, we arein control of.
We are regulated.
When we fall into chaos oroutside our normal range, we are
(18:16):
dysregulated.
Trauma survivors, she writes,are often dysregulated in their
physiology, their body, theiremotions and also their lives.
And all of this is to say thattrauma impacts the body.
And all of this is to say thattrauma impacts the body.
It impacts our nervous system,brain development and emotions.
(18:37):
It leaves a footprint, tracksin the body.
And, as Bezel van der Kolk hopeI pronounced his name right
says in his classic recoverybook, the body keeps the score,
but we can reclaim our lives.
Another part of taking back thecontrol room is resilience,
(18:58):
which is the ability to bounceback.
Resilience, bouncing backresilience is the ability to
bounce back and recover.
The dictionary equates it withelasticity, the ability to
spring back quickly into shapeafter being bent, stretched or
deformed.
Jasmin writes as you can see,it is quite a magical quality.
(19:23):
It is magical when you canrestore to wholeness what has
been mishappened, when what wasbuckled and bowed becomes
upright again.
Without resilience, we would bevery deformed.
(19:43):
She writes.
Imagine if every fall and flowwe ever experienced remained
visible in our structure, ifevery scratch and scrape were
still on our faces.
This also holds true on apsychological level.
She says we don't want to carryaround the imprints of every
scolding, every rejection, everydisappointment and heartbreak
(20:06):
we've ever experienced.
If it were not for resilienceand the process of repair, we
couldn't open again, couldn'trisk again, couldn't love again.
So resilience, our ability tobounce back and recover, is very
important.
Jasmin ends chapter twodiscussing how to get started
(20:27):
healing from trauma, how to getout of being stuck, and I love
the illustration that she offersabout growing up in the Midwest
, and I'm just going to readthat briefly.
She says as someone who grew upin the Midwest, I learned how
to get my car free from stuck onice or in snow.
You can't get out of a stuckplace just by putting your foot
(20:52):
on the gas.
You get free by rocking backand forth, back and forth, until
you've gotten enough tractionthat you can really move.
Likewise, you get out of traumanot by spinning your wheels in
it, but by moving back and forthin very small increments until
you have enough traction.
(21:13):
This moving back and forth iscalled pendulating or
oscillating.
She shares more in this chapterand again, if you want to know
more about getting out of beingstuck in trauma.
Her book Healing from Trauma isa great resource.
So just to wrap things up as Iopened, adult mothers who
(21:34):
experience the tale of violenceand abuse that is so prevalent
in the lives of teen mothersoften don't want to talk about
the violence and abuse in theirpast.
Their stance is it's in thepast, I've let that go.
I've let that go, I've forgiventhat person.
I'm not going to keep talkingabout what's in the past.
It is understandable youwouldn't want to talk about the
(21:56):
violence and abuse in your past,but if you have not taken
definitive steps to heal fromthat violence and abuse those
traumatic experiences, to healfrom that violence and abuse
those traumatic experiencesthey're not just in the past the
impact of that trauma is likelyshowing up in your life today
as a 20, 30, 40 year old mother.
This is because trauma getsstuck in the body, affecting our
(22:19):
nervous system, braindevelopment and emotions.
Understanding how traumaaffects the body can help you
understand your symptoms and youcan stop blaming yourself for
them.
Today I talked about whathappens in trauma.
A traumatic event like violenceand abuse is an emergency for
the body and the body reacts tothis emergency.
(22:41):
Sometimes it reacts by fight orflight, which you've all heard
about, but sometimes it can't doeither and it ends up freezing
and, unlike our animal mentors,we don't shake it off.
Without a way to safely releasethe energy in our nervous
system, that arousal stays inthe body, gets stuck in the body
and leads to symptoms ofpost-traumatic stress disorder
(23:04):
PTSD, and leads to symptoms ofpost-traumatic stress disorder,
PTSD.
I discussed trauma's impact onbrain development and the
different levels of braindevelopment.
The three levels include thesurvival brain or reptilian
system, which includes the mainstructures.
It is primarily concerned withphysical survival and
maintenance of the body and itoperates quite automatically.
(23:25):
The next level, or register of,is the limbic system, which
includes two areas we read aboutoften in trauma research the
Amygdala and the Hippocampus,related to emotion and memory.
Exposure to chronic trauma canshrink the Hippocampus,
resulting in memory loss as wellas decreased ability to put
(23:47):
traumatic events in context andto see them as past rather than
current events.
I discussed the next level, orregister up of brain development
is the Neocortex, theprefrontal cortex, sometimes
called the top of the brain,which makes it possible to learn
, think, imagine, plan and uselanguage.
(24:08):
While these three systems areintricately linked.
Any one of them may predominateat a given time.
In trauma states and duringtimes of danger, it's generally
the more primitive survivalbrain that takes over.
Hovering at this level thesurvival brain, life is dull.
This is because it's our higherbrain that gives life the
(24:31):
richness and complexity andmeaning.
I discussed how to reclaim yourlife and take back the control
room.
It starts with self-regulation.
Self-regulation is like havinga thermostat and being able to
regulate the temperature in theroom is like having a thermostat
and being able to regulate thetemperature in the room, but in
this case we're talking aboutour own energy flows, our moods,
(24:51):
our physiological arousal andmeeting our physical and
emotional needs.
Self-regulation is the abilityto bring your system back into
balance after it has beenactivated.
When we fall into chaos oroutside our normal range, we are
dysregulated.
Trauma survivors, Jasmin writes, are often dysregulated in
(25:13):
their physiology, their body,their emotions and also their
lives.
I talked today about theimportance of resilience, the
ability to bounce back andrecover.
The dictionary equatesresilience with elasticity the
ability to spring back quicklyinto shape after being bent,
stretched or deformed.
(25:35):
As you can see, she writes, itis quite a magical quality.
It is magical when you canrestore to wholeness what has
been mishappened, when what wasbuckled and bowed becomes
upright again.
Without resilience, we would bevery deformed.
She writes.
Imagine if every fall or flawwe ever experienced remained
(25:59):
visible on our structure, ifevery scratch and scrape were
still on our faces.
This also holds true on apsychological level.
We don't want to carry aroundthe imprints of every scolding,
every rejection, everydisappointment and heartbreak
we've ever experienced.
If it were not for resilienceand the process of repair, we
(26:22):
couldn't open again, couldn'trisk again, couldn't love again.
So resilience is very important.
I finished talking about how toget moving, how to get out of
being stuck, and Jasmine writesabout her experience growing up
in the Midwest and getting hercar free when it was stuck in
ice or in snow.
You can't get out of a stuckplace just by putting your foot
(26:44):
on the gas.
You get free by rocking backand forth, back and forth, until
you've gotten enough tractionthat you can really move.
Likewise, you get out of traumanot by spinning your wheels in
it, but by moving back and forthin very small increments until
you have more traction.
(27:05):
This back and forth movement isknown as oscillating, and she
talks more about this also inher book Healing from Trauma,
which is a great resource if youwant to get stuck out of the
trauma that you've experienced.
So this is our show for today.
Thanks for listening to our TeenMoms Anonymous podcast.
We are a podcast for teenmothers and adult mothers who
(27:29):
were teen mothers, especiallythose who survive violence and
abuse.
Our focus is on emotionalhealth and wellness, because we
know that emotionally healthymothers are better equipped to
nurture the emotionaldevelopment of their children.
I'm your host, Dr.
Chris Stroble, founder of TeenMoms Anonymous, a ministry for
teen mothers and adult motherswho were teen mothers, and the
(27:51):
award-winning author of HelpingTeen Moms Graduate Strategies
for Family, Schools andCommunity Organizations.
I hope this information hasbeen helpful to you.
If it has, send us a messageWe'd love to hear from listeners
.
You can email us at info@teenmomsA.
org Again, info@ teenmomsA.
(28:12):
org.
That A stands for anonymousteenmomsA.
org.
Or you can visit our website,teenmomsA.
org, fill out the contact formand, finally, we are committed
to walking alongside you on yourjourney of healing and recovery
, so stay connected to us.
Follow us on social mediaInstagram and Facebook at Team
Moms Anonymous, visit ourwebsite, teenmomsA.
(28:33):
org, and subscribe to our blogand our podcast.
If you're in the GreenvilleSpartanburg area of South
Carolina, we offer localin-person support groups where
teen mothers and adult motherswho were teen mothers can
connect with each other, withothers who've walked your
journey.
You will find emotional andmoral support and find
information and resources tohelp you grow into a more
(28:56):
confident, skilled woman andmother.
undefined onsider joining oneof our support groups.
We look forward to connectingwith you.
So thanks again for listeningto our Teen Moms Anonymous
podcast.
We'll see you the next time.
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