June 9, 2025 • 22 mins
When a teenage girl becomes a mother, her life transforms in ways she never anticipated—often amid judgment, shame, and overwhelming challenges. But what happens when this young mother carries unhealed trauma into her parenting journey? The impacts can ripple through generations.
Dr. Chris joins J'Michael with 107.3 JAMZ - Greenville, SC to share the powerful mission behind Teen Moms Anonymous, where we are creating sacred spaces where teen mothers and adult women who became mothers in their teens can find healing, support, and empowerment. With authentic vulnerability, Dr. Chris reveals how her difficult relationship with her own mother—a teen parent—became the catalyst for her life's work.
"Your greatest ministry will come out of your greatest pain," she shares, describing the moment she discovered how unresolved trauma from violence and abuse impacts a young mother's ability to form a secure attachment with her child. This understanding transformed her personal pain into purposeful action, creating resources that interrupt generational cycles of trauma.
The conversation offers practical wisdom for families navigating a teen pregnancy, with Dr. Chris outlining three essential steps: parents must first regulate their own emotions, then emotionally support their daughter, and finally develop a concrete plan utilizing available resources. From medical partnerships like Nurse Family Partnership to educational advocacy with school counselors, she outlines a comprehensive support system for young families.
What makes this interview particularly valuable is the balance of compassionate understanding with actionable guidance. Dr. Chris doesn't just acknowledge the emotional wounds teen mothers carry—she provides pathways to healing through our organization's weekly blogs, podcasts, and confidential support groups.
Whether you're a parent, educator, community leader, or someone who cares about supporting vulnerable families, this conversation offers profound insights into breaking cycles of trauma and building healthier futures for young mothers and their children.
Connect with Teen Moms Anonymous through our website teenmomsA.org and discover how emotional healing creates stronger families across generations.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning.
I'm J" Michael and I pray thatyour day is off to a great start
, that you're blessed and havinga great day, that you got your
morning cup of coffee, or maybeyou got your cup of tea, or
maybe you're actually out andabout doing your little jog, or
maybe you're headed to the gym.
Well, we have a greatconversation for you today and
I'm excited to introduce you tomy guest.
Some know her, some we'reintroducing you to her for the
(00:23):
very first time, but do knowthat the work that she's doing,
it benefits and enhances all ofus.
Dr.
Christine M.
Stroble.
She spent the last seven yearsusing her pen and purpose to
make a space for teen moms andsingle mothers to feel seen and
supported and empowered.
Her award-winning work speaksto classrooms and communities
(00:45):
and anyone committed to helpingyoung families thrive.
With helping teen moms graduateand love for Black single moms,
Dr.
Chris brings both strategy andheart to the table.
Through Teen Moms Anonymous,she continues to lead with
compassion, reminding everymother that she's more than
enough.
Dr Chris, how you doing thismorning?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
I'm doing great, jay Michael, thanks for having me.
I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
When I tell you I've been listening to your podcast,
I've been on your blogs andlooking at the work that you're
doing and I tell you it isreally, really piqued my
interest.
But I also know that you'retouching so many lives with the
work that you're doing.
I just want to thank you inadvance of the conversation.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Thank you, I appreciate it, jay, jay Michael.
So let me tell you a littleabout our organization, jay
Michael.
Teen Moms Anonymous.
We are a ministry for teenmothers and adult mothers who
were teen mothers, especiallythose who survived violence and
abuse.
I know from my research thatmany young mothers are
emotionally wounded, and evenyears after their teen pregnancy
(01:51):
they're emotionally wounded, inlarge part because they have so
much unresolved trauma from.
They're mostly wounded, and soour mission at Teen Moms
Anonymous is to provide themwith resources and information
to heal their emotional woundsand just provide them the
support that they need.
And so I'll just tell youquickly what we offer them.
(02:13):
We offer a wealth ofinformation on our weekly blog
and our podcast on topicsranging from judgment and shame,
which many of them feel how toheal that toxic shame.
We have information onparenting relationships, healing
emotional wounds, healingmother wounds.
So all this content is free forthem.
(02:36):
It's available on our website,teammomsaidorg, on our social
media, and each week I do Iwrite a blog and record a
podcast, providing them withgreat information.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
What I love about it it comes from the heart.
You know, it's not just numbersand just ideas out of the sky.
It really comes from the heartand I really appreciate you
angling all of your efforts andall of your work in that
direction.
Because when you say Teen MomsAnonymous, that means you give
moms, young moms, an opportunityto get this information without
(03:12):
ever saying, hey, this is who Iam and owning another layer of
shame.
Literally seven days a week,she could access your website or
your podcast and hear it overand over again until she
actually walk in what you'retalking and what you're
discussing, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Absolutely.
The podcast is weekly and, likeyou just said, they can listen
to it in the comfort of theirhome and their car.
No one has to know.
The blogs are there that theycan read.
On social media we provide ourcontent and so we also in our
support groups.
J Michael, that's really aplace where young mothers can
(03:48):
find emotional and moral supportfrom others who have walked
their journey and I know from myresearch the book that I wrote
many young mothers.
They're frightened.
I mean they're scared, theyfeel that they've disappointed
their family, they'vedisappointed themselves.
They're dealing with shame andjudgment and embarrassment and
they just need a lot of support.
(04:10):
And that is definitelysomething I want to speak to
today for parents who, if yourdaughter is pregnant or
parenting, just what she needsfrom you, because she needs
support and we're just oneresource to offer her that
support.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Dr Chris, you got to take us back to the beginning.
What stirred your heart tocreate Teen Moms Anonymous, and
why is it so important to carveout this sacred space for the
entire family?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Well, I'll tell you it's personal Teen Moms
Anonymous.
This ministry is personal to meand Rick Warren has said that
your greatest ministry, yourgreatest pain, will come out of
your.
Your greatest ministry, sorry,will come out of your greatest
pain, and that has certainlybeen the case with me.
My relationship with my motherhas been very difficult.
(04:57):
We did not have a lovingmother-daughter relationship and
that was painful.
There was tension between us.
Every interaction ended up inan argument and, as I said, it
was emotionally just very, verypainful, because every mother
and daughter want to have aclose relationship and we did
not.
And I struggled with that mostof my adult life and I was in
(05:19):
that emotional pain.
And then one day somethinghappened that was a turning
point.
I was teaching and I found areport on violence, abuse and
teen pregnancy and for the firsttime I understood how, what my
mother had experienced as a teenmother the violence and abuse
that's so prevalent in theirlives.
(05:40):
I understood how that hadimpacted her ability to parent
me or not parent me in the waythat a mother should.
And so, as I said, that was aturning point for me and I
decided you know what?
That is what it is between mymother and I.
It's just unresolved trauma.
She's emotionally wounded, I'memotionally wounded.
So I said I'm going to heal myown emotional wounds.
(06:03):
That was over 20 years ago,J'Michael, and when I got to the
point that I was further alongmy journey that I could help
someone else, I created TeenMoms Anonymous to give women
like my mother a safe spacewhere they can heal their
emotional wounds, where they canfind emotional and moral
support so that they then canhave that close emotional
(06:25):
relationship with their child.
And so it's personal.
That is why it's so dear to me.
It comes from my deepest pain.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
You know what the compass for your work is
absolutely rooted and you knowwhat I've been there.
Let me help someone elsenavigate through this.
And I do believe that when ayoung mother has a child, it has
implications across the boardher mental health, the family
dynamic changes and, of course,at the end of the day, the child
(06:57):
is actually seeing andexperiencing all that's going on
and that trauma is actuallyprevalent in our communities
today.
So I believe that the work thatyou're doing answers a problem
that actually is a solution to aproblem that we would otherwise
see 20 and 30 years from thebirth.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
It's generational and even with teen pregnancy it's
multi-generational.
You know a young lady todaywho's a teen parent.
Her mother might've been a teenparent.
Her mother, her mother, mighthave been a teen parent.
Her mother's mother might havebeen a teen parent.
And so it's generational.
And we want to interrupt thosegenerational cycles, put an end
to it, empower the young mother,give her knowledge and
(07:37):
information to heal, so that shecan then parent her child in a
different way, that her daughterwon't repeat the cycle of a
teen pregnancy.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Yeah, yeah, you know, dr Chris, you talk a lot about
emotional wellness, especiallyfor moms who've experienced
trauma and violence.
Why is that healing soessential, not just for them,
but also for the next generationthat they're giving birth to?
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Okay.
So being a mother is amonumental task and children
need to get certain messagesfrom a mother.
They need a mother to playcertain roles in their life and
Jasmine Lee Corey talks aboutthat in her book the Emotionally
Absent Mother.
Well, if you have a motherwho's still emotionally wounded,
hasn't healed from her owntrauma, she may be physically
(08:22):
present for the child, she mayprovide food and shelter, but
emotionally she is absent.
And if she's absent emotionallythere's not going to be a
strong, secure attachment.
And attachment, J'Michael, isso important between a child in
your first relationship withyour mother.
(08:42):
And if that is secure andhealthy, that sets the stage for
the rest of your life in yourrelationship.
If it's an insecure attachment,that sets the stage as well for
you to have problems inrelationship.
So being a mother is amonumental task.
You've got to heal your ownemotional wounds.
It's more than just you'reworking, putting food on the
(09:03):
table, keeping a roof over theirhead.
You have to attend to a child'semotional needs.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
That's good, you know , and sometimes, especially
young mothers you're talkingabout those teenage years but
they're still learning theiridentity, they're still learning
who they are.
They don't even know what lifeis, so they really do need
someone to take them by the handto say, okay, let me walk with
you through this journey.
And that's what Moms Anonymousdoes you know through your work
(09:32):
with your podcast or your workon your blogs.
And then what I absolutely lovethat you just spoke of is your
group opportunities as well.
Right, yes, absolutely Youngmothers, especially in the
Greenville-Spartanburg area.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
They can sign up for one of yes, absolutely Young
mothers, especially in theGreenville, spartanburg area.
They can sign up for one of oursupport groups.
In there they will connect withfive to eight other mothers.
It's a very small, intimateenvironment.
Again, they'll find emotionaland moral support.
We do not tell people what theyshould do.
In our support groups, welisten with empathy and
(10:03):
compassion and we offeremotional and moral support.
What is shared in our group isvery confidential.
That's our number one rule isconfidentiality, because in
order for someone to bevulnerable and transparent, they
have to feel safe, and weprovide that safe space.
I will tell you, j Michael.
I've had a number of agenciesfrom different states contact me
(10:26):
about online support groupclasses, but we don't have the
infrastructure to ensure thesafety of our members and we're
dealing with young mothers, sowe can't offer that.
When we do have that capability, we will offer online support
groups and I just encouragethose who benefit from our
information to stay connected tous so they'll know our updates.
You know, subscribe to our blogand podcast, follow us on
(10:48):
social media so they can getthose updates.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
I'm just grateful that the message you know it's
permeating through theGreenville Spartanburg area and
that there is a safe space, asafe place, because I believe
that it answers so many problemsNow.
This ministry is built onvalues like compassion and
growth.
My question to you is this forfamilies, mothers, fathers,
(11:11):
brothers, sisters, uncles,cousins, friends, who their
expectations may have beendashed when this young lady may
have gotten pregnant, and so nowwe have an environment where it
could be hostile, it could befilled with strife, it could be
(11:33):
a lot of different attitudes orthoughts or opinions that the
family is working through.
Is there something on yourwebsite, if there's something in
the podcast, that helps themunderstand the emotional
well-being and how they couldlead into the need of this young
lady that they're actuallyhelping or needing to help and
(11:55):
needing to give heart to at thesame time?
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Yes, we have a couple of blogs that speak to
resources that are available foryoung mothers and also the book
my award winning book HelpingTeen Moms, graduate, speaks to
it.
It's for family, schools andcommunity organizations to know
how to help their student who ispregnant and parenting.
And these books are availableat your local library.
You don't have to purchase it,you can just check it out and if
(12:20):
your library doesn't have it,you can ask them to purchase a
copy.
They will, and that book givesa wealth of information.
But, j Michael, I do want tojust give three steps to
families who, if your daughteris pregnant, parenting, she's
facing a pregnancy.
Here's my advice to you.
(12:40):
Number one for parents, becauseyou're right, there's going to
be some tension in the household.
People may be frustrated,disappointed, they may be
dealing with embarrassment andshame and guilt.
So here's what I would say,three things.
Number one as the parent orguardian, you have to calm
yourself down first.
We call that self-regulate.
You got to get your emotions inorder.
Feel what you feel.
If you're disappointed, you'reangry, you're hurt.
(13:02):
Okay, feel all of that for twominutes, but what you got to
realize, so that you can move on, is that God does not make
mistakes.
I know there's abuse, I knowthere's violence.
He hates that.
I know there are illnesses, butGod does not make mistakes.
And so you really have to sitin that and know that.
(13:24):
Know, this situation wasn'twhat you planned, but God
doesn't make mistakes.
And then, after you haveregulated yourself, you then
have to co-regulate yourdaughter.
You have to her know.
You know what it's going to be.
Okay, we're going to getthrough this.
We're going to work throughthis together.
I am here to support you.
I got you, I got your back.
You don't have to worry.
(13:45):
We're going to get through thistogether.
And then, after you haveregulated yourself, you've
regulated your daughter.
The third step is we got to geta game plan.
Okay, how are we going to moveforward from here?
And number one I sayimmediately get in to see an
OBGYN.
She needs to be taking prenatalvitamins, having regular
checkup and visits with thedoctor.
(14:05):
Talk to the doctor aboutanxiety and depression, because
it's very high among teenmothers.
So talk to the doctor aboutthat.
They may recommend that shesees a therapist, which I will
say J Michael.
I am a single mother.
My pregnancy was verydifficult, and I saw a therapist
every week while I was pregnantand I think that's really a
great resource for a youngmother.
(14:27):
But again, talk to the OBGYNabout that.
The next thing I would say ismeet with the school counselor.
Let's get a game plan.
Okay, your daughter's finishingher sophomore year.
She has two more years to go.
You need 24 credit hours to geta high school diploma.
How many credits does she have?
How many does she need?
Let's schedule.
What is she taking thissemester to ensure she graduates
(14:49):
on time?
You might want to ask aboutonline classes and then from
there, after you make contactwith the OBGYN, talk to the
school.
There are a plethora ofresources and some of them are
listed on our website.
But you got to tap into and getconnected with all the
resources that are out there tohelp you Teen parenting programs
, teen parenting classes yourschool, your district, may offer
(15:11):
them.
If not, they're community-basedteen parenting programs.
Do that, because what you'regoing to find is support from
other young mothers.
Also, that's what you find inour support group is support
from other mothers.
There are other resources, JMichael.
One is called the Nurse FamilyPartnership.
It's a national program.
A young mother who's carryingcan have her own personal nurse
(15:36):
who comes to the house weekly towalk her through the process.
So parents definitely need toreach out to nurse family
partnerships.
There are medical professionalslike a doula.
You can have a doula to walkyou through the process.
And if you're in theGreenville-Spartanburg area,
Prisma Health has a black doulaprogram because of the mental
(15:58):
health of black women who aregiving birth.
Reach out to Prisma Healthabout that.
You may qualify to have a doulawalk you through the whole
pregnancy and that's going to behelpful because, as a
first-time parent, it'sfrightening.
I was in my 30s as a first-timeparent.
It's frightening.
I was in my 30s as a first-timeparent.
It was frightening.
Imagine someone 15 or 16.
It's frightening and, as you'vesaid already, she's a young
(16:20):
woman, she's a teenager, she'sfrightened.
She needs the support.
So I would do that.
And then there are programs withDSS, WIC: Women, Infants and
Children resources that you canget.
Take advantage of that.
TANF, if you qualify for that,take advantage of those
resources.
I would say go ahead and applyfor child care scholarships with
(16:42):
DSS so that we can prepare.
Okay, once you've been onhomebound, okay, make sure you
stay up with your schoolwork onhomebound when you get ready to
go back to school, you havechild care for your child so
that you can finish.
And then us sign up with oursupport groups, follow us,
subscribe to our blog, ourpodcast.
I promise you we're going togive you information that is
(17:07):
going to help you make itthrough your pregnancy, feel
better about yourself and justunderstand what's happening to
your body.
And then, of course, there arebooks, like the one I mentioned,
but that's the advice I wouldgive parents who are facing a
teen pregnancy with theirdaughter.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Dr Chris, first of all let me tell you this If
anybody was in doubt orwondering or shame or just kind
of overwhelmed, you just now wasthe light at the end of the
tunnel.
That was a number of resourcesthat will actually help parents
and their parents see that thereis help, there's assistance,
you're not in this thing byyourself, that the community is
(17:41):
there to support you and youdon't have to do life alone.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Right, you do not have to do life alone.
Their support, their resources,just tap into them and again
again.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Now I'm I'm glad that you said that, because you know
what.
If there are parents, if thereis a mother that have
experienced and and understandwhat it is that you're talking
about in the work that you'redoing and wish that they had
those resources, and they sayyou know what?
I want to extend the life ofthe work that you're doing.
I want to be a part of it.
I want to make sure that you'repart of my philanthropy for the
(18:15):
year.
How could they jump in to be asupport to the work that you're
doing?
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Well, we definitely need support and we will.
We are grateful for any supportthat individuals offer, and
what they can do, j Michael, isgo out to our, go to our website
, teenmomsA.
o rg.
and then we'll get back intouch with them within 24 to 48
hours.
They can also send us an emailat info@ teammomsA.
(18:44):
org.
Again, they can email us atinfo at teanmomsA.
org.
They can give us a call on ournumber, 864-906-4877.
Again, 864-906-4877.
And reach out to us that wayand we can get together and see
how we can partner and worktogether.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
And for the moms that are listening, for the parents
that are listening, for theprospective mother that's
getting ready to give birth totheir child.
How do they run upon thispodcast?
How do they find your blog?
How do they find the website?
How do they access the supportgroups as well?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Okay, so the podcast is available on multiple
directories.
You can listen to the podcaston Spotify, on Apple Podcasts,
on Google Podcasts, so it'savailable on multiple
directories For our podcast.
If you go to our website,teenmomsA.
org, and subscribe to our blog,then every week when a blog is
posted, you'll receivenotification of that.
(19:48):
You can connect with us viasocial media Instagram and
Facebook at Teen Moms Anonymousand just stay connected to our
website.
There will be tons ofinformation there.
And again, if you're in theGreenville-Spartanburg area, you
can call to sign up for one ofour support groups.
For those who are 18 and under,parental consent is required
(20:10):
for them to participate in oursupport group.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
You know what I do want to say this in no way shape
form or fashion.
I know your heart, Dr.
Chris, so I think I can speakon your behalf.
We're not encouraging teenpregnancy.
However, we are the answer whenit happens.
This is the solution right.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Absolutely, absolutely.
This is the solution right.
Absolutely, absolutely.
Because when a young womanbecomes a mother, that's a lot
to handle, a lot to manage.
So we want to prevent that teenpregnancy if possible.
But once it happens, there hasto be intervention.
The young mother has to besupported because she's training
(20:50):
the next generation, a child,so she has to be supported
because she's training another,the next generation, a child, so
she has to have support.
But you speak to it very well,J'Michael.
We're not encouraging teenpregnancy.
We want to prevent that.
But we also have to provideintervention for the young
mother once she's parenting.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Dr Chris, do one more thing for me Give me that
website and all that good stuffso that we can follow you, so
that we could make sure that wesave that bookmark, so that we
don't lose course of all thatyou've given today.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Great.
So our website is teenmomsA.
org.
The A stands for anonymous,it's abbreviated.
So teenmomsA.
org, you can visit our website.
So, teenmomsA.
org, you can visit our website.
Subscribe to our blog and ourpodcast on many different
directories Spotify, applePodcasts, google Podcasts.
Subscribe to our blog.
(21:42):
You can send us an email atinfo@ teenmomsA.
org.
Info@ teenmomsA.
org, and you can reach out to usby phone at 864-906-4877.
Again, 864-906-4877.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Thank you, Dr.
Chris, we appreciate you.
Thank you so much for joiningus for this wonderful
conversation.
We hope and pray that youreceive something from it and
join us next week for anotheredition.
Good morning.
I'm J" Michael and I pray thatyour day is off to a great start
, that you're blessed and havinga great day, that you got your
morning cup of coffee, or maybeyou got your cup of tea, or
maybe you're actually out andabout doing your little jog, or
maybe you're headed to the gym.
Well, we have a greatconversation for you today and
I'm excited to introduce you tomy guest.
Some know her, some we'reintroducing you to her for the
(00:23):
very first time, but do knowthat the work that she's doing,
it benefits and enhances all ofus.
Dr.
Christine M.
Stroble.
She spent the last seven yearsusing her pen and purpose to
make a space for teen moms andsingle mothers to feel seen and
supported and empowered.
Her award-winning work speaksto classrooms and communities
(00:45):
and anyone committed to helpingyoung families thrive.
With helping teen moms graduateand love for Black single moms,
Dr.
Chris brings both strategy andheart to the table.
Through Teen Moms Anonymous,she continues to lead with
compassion, reminding everymother that she's more than
enough.
Dr Chris, how you doing thismorning?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
I'm doing great, jay Michael, thanks for having me.
I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
When I tell you I've been listening to your podcast,
I've been on your blogs andlooking at the work that you're
doing and I tell you it isreally, really piqued my
interest.
But I also know that you'retouching so many lives with the
work that you're doing.
I just want to thank you inadvance of the conversation.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Thank you, I appreciate it, jay, jay Michael.
So let me tell you a littleabout our organization, jay
Michael.
Teen Moms Anonymous.
We are a ministry for teenmothers and adult mothers who
were teen mothers, especiallythose who survived violence and
abuse.
I know from my research thatmany young mothers are
emotionally wounded, and evenyears after their teen pregnancy
(01:51):
they're emotionally wounded, inlarge part because they have so
much unresolved trauma from.
They're mostly wounded, and soour mission at Teen Moms
Anonymous is to provide themwith resources and information
to heal their emotional woundsand just provide them the
support that they need.
And so I'll just tell youquickly what we offer them.
(02:13):
We offer a wealth ofinformation on our weekly blog
and our podcast on topicsranging from judgment and shame,
which many of them feel how toheal that toxic shame.
We have information onparenting relationships, healing
emotional wounds, healingmother wounds.
So all this content is free forthem.
(02:36):
It's available on our website,teammomsaidorg, on our social
media, and each week I do Iwrite a blog and record a
podcast, providing them withgreat information.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
What I love about it it comes from the heart.
You know, it's not just numbersand just ideas out of the sky.
It really comes from the heartand I really appreciate you
angling all of your efforts andall of your work in that
direction.
Because when you say Teen MomsAnonymous, that means you give
moms, young moms, an opportunityto get this information without
(03:12):
ever saying, hey, this is who Iam and owning another layer of
shame.
Literally seven days a week,she could access your website or
your podcast and hear it overand over again until she
actually walk in what you'retalking and what you're
discussing, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Absolutely.
The podcast is weekly and, likeyou just said, they can listen
to it in the comfort of theirhome and their car.
No one has to know.
The blogs are there that theycan read.
On social media we provide ourcontent and so we also in our
support groups.
J Michael, that's really aplace where young mothers can
(03:48):
find emotional and moral supportfrom others who have walked
their journey and I know from myresearch the book that I wrote
many young mothers.
They're frightened.
I mean they're scared, theyfeel that they've disappointed
their family, they'vedisappointed themselves.
They're dealing with shame andjudgment and embarrassment and
they just need a lot of support.
(04:10):
And that is definitelysomething I want to speak to
today for parents who, if yourdaughter is pregnant or
parenting, just what she needsfrom you, because she needs
support and we're just oneresource to offer her that
support.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Dr Chris, you got to take us back to the beginning.
What stirred your heart tocreate Teen Moms Anonymous, and
why is it so important to carveout this sacred space for the
entire family?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Well, I'll tell you it's personal Teen Moms
Anonymous.
This ministry is personal to meand Rick Warren has said that
your greatest ministry, yourgreatest pain, will come out of
your.
Your greatest ministry, sorry,will come out of your greatest
pain, and that has certainlybeen the case with me.
My relationship with my motherhas been very difficult.
(04:57):
We did not have a lovingmother-daughter relationship and
that was painful.
There was tension between us.
Every interaction ended up inan argument and, as I said, it
was emotionally just very, verypainful, because every mother
and daughter want to have aclose relationship and we did
not.
And I struggled with that mostof my adult life and I was in
(05:19):
that emotional pain.
And then one day somethinghappened that was a turning
point.
I was teaching and I found areport on violence, abuse and
teen pregnancy and for the firsttime I understood how, what my
mother had experienced as a teenmother the violence and abuse
that's so prevalent in theirlives.
(05:40):
I understood how that hadimpacted her ability to parent
me or not parent me in the waythat a mother should.
And so, as I said, that was aturning point for me and I
decided you know what?
That is what it is between mymother and I.
It's just unresolved trauma.
She's emotionally wounded, I'memotionally wounded.
So I said I'm going to heal myown emotional wounds.
(06:03):
That was over 20 years ago,J'Michael, and when I got to the
point that I was further alongmy journey that I could help
someone else, I created TeenMoms Anonymous to give women
like my mother a safe spacewhere they can heal their
emotional wounds, where they canfind emotional and moral
support so that they then canhave that close emotional
(06:25):
relationship with their child.
And so it's personal.
That is why it's so dear to me.
It comes from my deepest pain.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
You know what the compass for your work is
absolutely rooted and you knowwhat I've been there.
Let me help someone elsenavigate through this.
And I do believe that when ayoung mother has a child, it has
implications across the boardher mental health, the family
dynamic changes and, of course,at the end of the day, the child
(06:57):
is actually seeing andexperiencing all that's going on
and that trauma is actuallyprevalent in our communities
today.
So I believe that the work thatyou're doing answers a problem
that actually is a solution to aproblem that we would otherwise
see 20 and 30 years from thebirth.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
It's generational and even with teen pregnancy it's
multi-generational.
You know a young lady todaywho's a teen parent.
Her mother might've been a teenparent.
Her mother, her mother, mighthave been a teen parent.
Her mother's mother might havebeen a teen parent.
And so it's generational.
And we want to interrupt thosegenerational cycles, put an end
to it, empower the young mother,give her knowledge and
(07:37):
information to heal, so that shecan then parent her child in a
different way, that her daughterwon't repeat the cycle of a
teen pregnancy.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Yeah, yeah, you know, dr Chris, you talk a lot about
emotional wellness, especiallyfor moms who've experienced
trauma and violence.
Why is that healing soessential, not just for them,
but also for the next generationthat they're giving birth to?
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Okay.
So being a mother is amonumental task and children
need to get certain messagesfrom a mother.
They need a mother to playcertain roles in their life and
Jasmine Lee Corey talks aboutthat in her book the Emotionally
Absent Mother.
Well, if you have a motherwho's still emotionally wounded,
hasn't healed from her owntrauma, she may be physically
(08:22):
present for the child, she mayprovide food and shelter, but
emotionally she is absent.
And if she's absent emotionallythere's not going to be a
strong, secure attachment.
And attachment, J'Michael, isso important between a child in
your first relationship withyour mother.
(08:42):
And if that is secure andhealthy, that sets the stage for
the rest of your life in yourrelationship.
If it's an insecure attachment,that sets the stage as well for
you to have problems inrelationship.
So being a mother is amonumental task.
You've got to heal your ownemotional wounds.
It's more than just you'reworking, putting food on the
(09:03):
table, keeping a roof over theirhead.
You have to attend to a child'semotional needs.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
That's good, you know , and sometimes, especially
young mothers you're talkingabout those teenage years but
they're still learning theiridentity, they're still learning
who they are.
They don't even know what lifeis, so they really do need
someone to take them by the handto say, okay, let me walk with
you through this journey.
And that's what Moms Anonymousdoes you know through your work
(09:32):
with your podcast or your workon your blogs.
And then what I absolutely lovethat you just spoke of is your
group opportunities as well.
Right, yes, absolutely Youngmothers, especially in the
Greenville-Spartanburg area.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
They can sign up for one of yes, absolutely Young
mothers, especially in theGreenville, spartanburg area.
They can sign up for one of oursupport groups.
In there they will connect withfive to eight other mothers.
It's a very small, intimateenvironment.
Again, they'll find emotionaland moral support.
We do not tell people what theyshould do.
In our support groups, welisten with empathy and
(10:03):
compassion and we offeremotional and moral support.
What is shared in our group isvery confidential.
That's our number one rule isconfidentiality, because in
order for someone to bevulnerable and transparent, they
have to feel safe, and weprovide that safe space.
I will tell you, j Michael.
I've had a number of agenciesfrom different states contact me
(10:26):
about online support groupclasses, but we don't have the
infrastructure to ensure thesafety of our members and we're
dealing with young mothers, sowe can't offer that.
When we do have that capability, we will offer online support
groups and I just encouragethose who benefit from our
information to stay connected tous so they'll know our updates.
You know, subscribe to our blogand podcast, follow us on
(10:48):
social media so they can getthose updates.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
I'm just grateful that the message you know it's
permeating through theGreenville Spartanburg area and
that there is a safe space, asafe place, because I believe
that it answers so many problemsNow.
This ministry is built onvalues like compassion and
growth.
My question to you is this forfamilies, mothers, fathers,
(11:11):
brothers, sisters, uncles,cousins, friends, who their
expectations may have beendashed when this young lady may
have gotten pregnant, and so nowwe have an environment where it
could be hostile, it could befilled with strife, it could be
(11:33):
a lot of different attitudes orthoughts or opinions that the
family is working through.
Is there something on yourwebsite, if there's something in
the podcast, that helps themunderstand the emotional
well-being and how they couldlead into the need of this young
lady that they're actuallyhelping or needing to help and
(11:55):
needing to give heart to at thesame time?
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Yes, we have a couple of blogs that speak to
resources that are available foryoung mothers and also the book
my award winning book HelpingTeen Moms, graduate, speaks to
it.
It's for family, schools andcommunity organizations to know
how to help their student who ispregnant and parenting.
And these books are availableat your local library.
You don't have to purchase it,you can just check it out and if
(12:20):
your library doesn't have it,you can ask them to purchase a
copy.
They will, and that book givesa wealth of information.
But, j Michael, I do want tojust give three steps to
families who, if your daughteris pregnant, parenting, she's
facing a pregnancy.
Here's my advice to you.
(12:40):
Number one for parents, becauseyou're right, there's going to
be some tension in the household.
People may be frustrated,disappointed, they may be
dealing with embarrassment andshame and guilt.
So here's what I would say,three things.
Number one as the parent orguardian, you have to calm
yourself down first.
We call that self-regulate.
You got to get your emotions inorder.
Feel what you feel.
If you're disappointed, you'reangry, you're hurt.
(13:02):
Okay, feel all of that for twominutes, but what you got to
realize, so that you can move on, is that God does not make
mistakes.
I know there's abuse, I knowthere's violence.
He hates that.
I know there are illnesses, butGod does not make mistakes.
And so you really have to sitin that and know that.
(13:24):
Know, this situation wasn'twhat you planned, but God
doesn't make mistakes.
And then, after you haveregulated yourself, you then
have to co-regulate yourdaughter.
You have to her know.
You know what it's going to be.
Okay, we're going to getthrough this.
We're going to work throughthis together.
I am here to support you.
I got you, I got your back.
You don't have to worry.
(13:45):
We're going to get through thistogether.
And then, after you haveregulated yourself, you've
regulated your daughter.
The third step is we got to geta game plan.
Okay, how are we going to moveforward from here?
And number one I sayimmediately get in to see an
OBGYN.
She needs to be taking prenatalvitamins, having regular
checkup and visits with thedoctor.
(14:05):
Talk to the doctor aboutanxiety and depression, because
it's very high among teenmothers.
So talk to the doctor aboutthat.
They may recommend that shesees a therapist, which I will
say J Michael.
I am a single mother.
My pregnancy was verydifficult, and I saw a therapist
every week while I was pregnantand I think that's really a
great resource for a youngmother.
(14:27):
But again, talk to the OBGYNabout that.
The next thing I would say ismeet with the school counselor.
Let's get a game plan.
Okay, your daughter's finishingher sophomore year.
She has two more years to go.
You need 24 credit hours to geta high school diploma.
How many credits does she have?
How many does she need?
Let's schedule.
What is she taking thissemester to ensure she graduates
(14:49):
on time?
You might want to ask aboutonline classes and then from
there, after you make contactwith the OBGYN, talk to the
school.
There are a plethora ofresources and some of them are
listed on our website.
But you got to tap into and getconnected with all the
resources that are out there tohelp you Teen parenting programs
, teen parenting classes yourschool, your district, may offer
(15:11):
them.
If not, they're community-basedteen parenting programs.
Do that, because what you'regoing to find is support from
other young mothers.
Also, that's what you find inour support group is support
from other mothers.
There are other resources, JMichael.
One is called the Nurse FamilyPartnership.
It's a national program.
A young mother who's carryingcan have her own personal nurse
(15:36):
who comes to the house weekly towalk her through the process.
So parents definitely need toreach out to nurse family
partnerships.
There are medical professionalslike a doula.
You can have a doula to walkyou through the process.
And if you're in theGreenville-Spartanburg area,
Prisma Health has a black doulaprogram because of the mental
(15:58):
health of black women who aregiving birth.
Reach out to Prisma Healthabout that.
You may qualify to have a doulawalk you through the whole
pregnancy and that's going to behelpful because, as a
first-time parent, it'sfrightening.
I was in my 30s as a first-timeparent.
It's frightening.
I was in my 30s as a first-timeparent.
It was frightening.
Imagine someone 15 or 16.
It's frightening and, as you'vesaid already, she's a young
(16:20):
woman, she's a teenager, she'sfrightened.
She needs the support.
So I would do that.
And then there are programs withDSS, WIC: Women, Infants and
Children resources that you canget.
Take advantage of that.
TANF, if you qualify for that,take advantage of those
resources.
I would say go ahead and applyfor child care scholarships with
(16:42):
DSS so that we can prepare.
Okay, once you've been onhomebound, okay, make sure you
stay up with your schoolwork onhomebound when you get ready to
go back to school, you havechild care for your child so
that you can finish.
And then us sign up with oursupport groups, follow us,
subscribe to our blog, ourpodcast.
I promise you we're going togive you information that is
(17:07):
going to help you make itthrough your pregnancy, feel
better about yourself and justunderstand what's happening to
your body.
And then, of course, there arebooks, like the one I mentioned,
but that's the advice I wouldgive parents who are facing a
teen pregnancy with theirdaughter.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Dr Chris, first of all let me tell you this If
anybody was in doubt orwondering or shame or just kind
of overwhelmed, you just now wasthe light at the end of the
tunnel.
That was a number of resourcesthat will actually help parents
and their parents see that thereis help, there's assistance,
you're not in this thing byyourself, that the community is
(17:41):
there to support you and youdon't have to do life alone.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Right, you do not have to do life alone.
Their support, their resources,just tap into them and again
again.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Now I'm I'm glad that you said that, because you know
what.
If there are parents, if thereis a mother that have
experienced and and understandwhat it is that you're talking
about in the work that you'redoing and wish that they had
those resources, and they sayyou know what?
I want to extend the life ofthe work that you're doing.
I want to be a part of it.
I want to make sure that you'repart of my philanthropy for the
(18:15):
year.
How could they jump in to be asupport to the work that you're
doing?
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Well, we definitely need support and we will.
We are grateful for any supportthat individuals offer, and
what they can do, j Michael, isgo out to our, go to our website
, teenmomsA.
o rg.
and then we'll get back intouch with them within 24 to 48
hours.
They can also send us an emailat info@ teammomsA.
(18:44):
org.
Again, they can email us atinfo at teanmomsA.
org.
They can give us a call on ournumber, 864-906-4877.
Again, 864-906-4877.
And reach out to us that wayand we can get together and see
how we can partner and worktogether.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
And for the moms that are listening, for the parents
that are listening, for theprospective mother that's
getting ready to give birth totheir child.
How do they run upon thispodcast?
How do they find your blog?
How do they find the website?
How do they access the supportgroups as well?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Okay, so the podcast is available on multiple
directories.
You can listen to the podcaston Spotify, on Apple Podcasts,
on Google Podcasts, so it'savailable on multiple
directories For our podcast.
If you go to our website,teenmomsA.
org, and subscribe to our blog,then every week when a blog is
posted, you'll receivenotification of that.
(19:48):
You can connect with us viasocial media Instagram and
Facebook at Teen Moms Anonymousand just stay connected to our
website.
There will be tons ofinformation there.
And again, if you're in theGreenville-Spartanburg area, you
can call to sign up for one ofour support groups.
For those who are 18 and under,parental consent is required
(20:10):
for them to participate in oursupport group.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
You know what I do want to say this in no way shape
form or fashion.
I know your heart, Dr.
Chris, so I think I can speakon your behalf.
We're not encouraging teenpregnancy.
However, we are the answer whenit happens.
This is the solution right.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Absolutely, absolutely.
This is the solution right.
Absolutely, absolutely.
Because when a young womanbecomes a mother, that's a lot
to handle, a lot to manage.
So we want to prevent that teenpregnancy if possible.
But once it happens, there hasto be intervention.
The young mother has to besupported because she's training
(20:50):
the next generation, a child,so she has to be supported
because she's training another,the next generation, a child, so
she has to have support.
But you speak to it very well,J'Michael.
We're not encouraging teenpregnancy.
We want to prevent that.
But we also have to provideintervention for the young
mother once she's parenting.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Dr Chris, do one more thing for me Give me that
website and all that good stuffso that we can follow you, so
that we could make sure that wesave that bookmark, so that we
don't lose course of all thatyou've given today.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Great.
So our website is teenmomsA.
org.
The A stands for anonymous,it's abbreviated.
So teenmomsA.
org, you can visit our website.
So, teenmomsA.
org, you can visit our website.
Subscribe to our blog and ourpodcast on many different
directories Spotify, applePodcasts, google Podcasts.
Subscribe to our blog.
(21:42):
You can send us an email atinfo@ teenmomsA.
org.
Info@ teenmomsA.
org, and you can reach out to usby phone at 864-906-4877.
Again, 864-906-4877.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Thank you, Dr.
Chris, we appreciate you.
Thank you so much for joiningus for this wonderful
conversation.
We hope and pray that youreceive something from it and
join us next week for anotheredition.
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