Breaker High, Episode 10: Rooming Violations

Welcome back to Teeny Bopper TV Breakdown! Today we recap Breaker High, episode 10: “Rooming Violations.”

We start out on the ship with a sequence that I truly cannot tell whether or not it’s a dream. Literally everyone is complimenting Cassidy, Tamira talks about how she’s never had a boyfriend (okay that might be true), and Max is keeping Alex and Ashley apart on purpose because “she’s out of his league” (I would argue the opposite), so they get into a fistfight. This is apparently the third time this week they’ve gotten into it, so Captain Ballard is changing their room assignment, and given the episode title, at this point I think it’s real. Jimmy immediately volunteers to be Max’s new bunkmate, which presumably puts Alex with Sean.

When Sean finds Jimmy packing up his things in what was their cabin, he takes Jimmy’s departure pretty personally, though he pretends he’s not or at least tries not to show it (the sad music we get in the background says otherwise). Jimmy says he liked rooming with Sean but thinks bunking with Max will teach him how to be a total babe magnet (might have to be by osmosis, buddy; I somehow don’t think Max is going to actually take you under his wing for that). True, Jimmy isn’t going very far, but I can see why Sean is hurt, especially since Jimmy didn’t talk to him about it first.

We cut to the coffeehouse, where Tamira is being chatted up by Eric, who we’ve never seen before (though he kind of looks like Max’s clone). He asks her on a picnic, and all she can do is squeak. Luckily he takes it well, and the date is officially on.

Jimmy is officially Max’s new bunkmate and decides that the best first impression would be to walk up to Max while the latter is playing his guitar and jam along with his kazoo, to which Max obviously responds with an expression of horror. Things only get worse when Jimmy spots a framed photo of Max with a girl, says “Who’s that hottie?” and kisses it, only to find out it’s Max’s little sister. Max is not taking this well, saying "Separate rooms?” after Jimmy asks “You know what we need?”, so Jimmy tries to save face with the 1997 version of a selfie, taking a picture of the two of them with a digital camera and getting very excited to show it to everyone.

We cut to the girls’ cabin, where Ashley is flabbergasted that Tamira has a date with Eric. Cassidy shushes her, realizing that the teasing is only making Tamira feel more insecure. The following conversation shows just how contradictory the expectations for girls on dates are: Cassidy says to have fun, crack jokes, and be silly, but Denise chimes in with “Not too silly, you don’t want him to think you’re an airhead.” I could write a whole syllabus on the “Show him your intellectual side”; “Why? Most guys aren’t that smart” exchange, especially when followed by Jimmy’s ramblings out in the hallway and the resulting smirks on the girls’ faces. America-Ferrera-in-the-Barbie-movie prototype where?

Uh oh. We find Eric on deck playing basketball, and when asked if he really has a date with the freakezoid, he responds with, “It’s not a date, I’m just doing Cassidy a favor.” He tells his friend to come by half an hour into the picnic with some sort of excuse to get him out of there, and of course Ashley overhears the whole thing. Kind of wish she’d had a frown on her face instead of a smile, but we’ll see where this goes.

Elsewhere on the deck, Sean finds Jimmy to let him know he’s got tickets for a movie they’ve been wanting to see, but Jimmy’s mind is clearly elsewhere as he scans the deck for Max, not even looking at Sean as he’s talking. Not exactly being the best friend here, Jimmy; I have a feeling it’s going to come back to bite you.

Oh, this next scene is just sad. In the coffeehouse, three girls are ready to get up and leave when Jimmy sits, but stay put when he says he’s Max’s roommate. Of course, Jimmy’s shirt that he clearly borrowed from Max, w