Breaker High, Episode 12: Out with the Old, In with the Shrew

Welcome back to Teeny Bopper TV Breakdown! Today we recap Breaker High, episode 12: “Out with the Old, In with the Shrew.” I would say I’m getting 10 Things I Hate About You vibes but it turns out this came out first!

We start with Tony getting rebuked by Captain Ballard - his title is “Activities Director” but all of his recent ideas have been total flops (I personally would have enjoyed “Karaoke with Your Inner Child” and “Tap Dance Your Way to a Better You” but can see why these teens wouldn’t). Tony responds by dramatically quitting, but Captain Ballard doesn’t exactly believe him as this is apparently the third time this month he’s done so.

Turns out it was real (or at least Tony’s locked himself in his room until the ship docks in Amsterdam). Tony’s replacement is a woman named Ms. Pestler, who plays nice in front of Captain Ballard, but turns into a total drill sergeant once she’s alone with the kids (seems she’s the shrew, not one of the kids, so never mind the earlier reference). She wakes them up at 5 am and gets fully all up in their faces until everyone is up and moving in the “health club” area of the pool deck - and all this with a cute little dog in tow. So much for thinking she’s going to be a pushover, huh boys? We do a quick cut to Tony’s room (silk pajamas, four-poster bed and all) and find him already regretting his choices, so hopefully this won’t last too long, especially since when Denise asks what Ms. Pestler has planned for the students in Amsterdam, she says they’ll be fertilizing the veterans’ hospital’s tulip garden with manure. Oh yes, the kids definitely miss Tony now.

Sean is a big James Dean fan, and stops by ship teacher Ms. Mitchell’s cabin to borrow the biography of him she happens to have on board with her. Of course, Alex and Max walk by at the exact wrong time and get the exact very wrong idea.

Tony has emerged! He wants to come back, and the students definitely want him back, but Ms. Pestler has a contract. Guess it’s time to see if they can make her break it! Operation “Get Ms. Pestler to Quit” starts now.

Sean walks into the coffeehouse, and everyone in there starts applauding - clearly rumors spread quickly on this ship. He tries to dispel them at first, but when his popularity is clearly shown to have risen with both genders, he gets distracted from that pretty fast. However, that means the next time Sean and Ms. Mitchell interact in class, the other students respond with an “Ooohhhh…” and Ms. Mitchell can tell something’s up.

The students try to force a mutiny against Ms. Pestler, but she’s borderline abusive, calling them names and making threats. Their “activity” is painting the ship’s railing - this is no better, or actually, frankly worse than any of the ideas Tony came up with.

Later that day, Sean tries to sneak past the ship’s classroom, but to no avail - Ms. Mitchell catches a glimpse of him and calls him inside to ask if he had anything to do with the rumor she’s heard. He’s adamant that he didn’t spread it, but can’t respond when she asks if he denied it, so she hits him (verbally) where it hurts when she says, “Ask yourself this, Sean: Would James Dean have done that?”

The students (mostly Denise) come up with a new tactic to get Pestler out: Since strong-arming her didn’t work against her toughness, they’ll use her weakness, emotions, and start treating her like a guidance counselor-cum-therapist. And this actually does seem to get to her.

The Sean-and-Ms.-Mitchell teasing comes to a head, of course in her classroom. This time, Sean does the right thing and shuts it down. He admits he should have stopped it sooner; though he liked the way he felt when everyone thought it was true, it wasn’t fair to Ms. Mitchell. And it turns out this little speech is what gets pretty girl Elle to actually come up and talk to Sean (though it didn’t impress her enough to hang out with him afterward).

Jimmy asking Pestler for a hug is the last straw, and she quits, so Tony is officially back! Kind of wish the teens had at least pretended to do his first activity instead of running off immediately, but oh well.

Don’t change that channel! We’ll be right back on Teeny Bopper TV Breakdown.

Get full access to Teeny Bopper TV Breakdown at hannamfogel.substack.com/subscribe