June 26, 2025 • 61 mins
Two Caribbean-raised sisters who aren't afraid to call adulthood what it truly is: the ultimate scam, the absolute ghetto.
In this episode, we explore the shared delusion that everyone but you has figured out adulthood, revealing the truth that we're all just winging it. Perhaps, the universal feeling of being "behind schedule" in life might mean we're right on time...
Join the A-Gang every Friday this summer as we find comfort in knowing we're all pretending to have it together.
Follow us on Instagram @theadulthoodpod and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Email us at theadulthoodpod@gmail.com with questions, comments, or partnership inquiries.
Follow us on Instagram @theadulthoodpod
Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts
Email us: theadulthoodpod@gmail.com with questions, comments, or partnership inquiries.
Hosts: Zi & Dee
Creative Directors: Zi & Dee
Producers: Dre & KAren
Sound Engineer: Dre
Production Assistant: Denny
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
This podcast is for informational and entertainment
purposes only.
It is not intended to be asubstitute for therapy,
professional advice or mentalhealth treatment.
This podcast does not establisha professional relationship of
any kind.
Listeners are encouraged toseek support from a licensed
mental health provider if needed.
We make no representations orwarranties regarding the
accuracy, completeness orapplicability of the content.
The views expressed by theco-hosts are their own and do
not necessarily reflect theviews or positions of any
entities they represent.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Mic check, mic check.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Welcome to Adulthood.
The ultimate scam, the absoluteghetto.
A podcast where twoCaribbean-raised sisters talk
openly about the good, the badand the hood of adulthood.
I'm Z and I'm D.
Let's get into it.
So, oh my god, Welcome to ourvery first episode.
(00:58):
We're so excited to have you.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Yes, we are.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
This truly has been like a long time coming A very
long time coming.
I think even as children weinterviewed each other, so we're
excited that someone's actuallywatching and not just like
teddy bears.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Now we have an audience.
Yeah, not teddy bears.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
Yes, not teddy bears.
Okay, okay, not teddy bears.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Yeah, tell everybody Just letting them know it was
teddy bears before it was.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Now we have actual real people, so that's a step up
we do I'll take it yeah, um,but today we're gonna get into
you, get into know us.
Yeah, um, play a little game.
Oh, we're gonna play a game.
Share our experiences share ourvoice, yeah, and talk a little
bit about growing up and whatthat means, because, ultimately,
this is what this podcast isabout absolutely all right.
(01:45):
So it's time for our firstsegment.
Yes, our sister check-in,correct, yep, uh.
And this is the segment wherewe catch each other up on what's
going on, um, what's happening,what we got coming up, what
we're excited about, what we'restressed about all the good
things all the hood things, allthe hood things, and I think
it's important to note like forfor those of us listening that
(02:06):
we don't see each other on aday-to-day.
We don't right.
You live in toronto and I'm inla and we're filming in la right
now yes, we are um, but youknow you got a whole ass family
back.
Oh, I do, I definitely do.
How are you doing, sis, in thishood we gotta pray for me.
Listen, it's difficult.
Oh, I, I.
You said that was that was yourattempt, that was your thing,
(02:29):
it was quick you caught it quick.
The lord caught it.
Oh and oh.
All right.
So, yeah, I mean raising afamily.
It's tough.
Uh, it definitely is like thecenter of what I do daily, like
my daughter's getting ready formiddle school.
She's going to be 11.
That's crazy.
Um, what else am I lookingforward to?
(02:51):
Signed up for yoga?
Okay, I didn't know you wereinto yoga.
I was.
Yeah, a couple of summers ago Itried it out for the first time
and I really enjoyed it.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Do you do hot yoga, hot yoga, hot yoga, hot yoga,
hot yoga.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
So you are intense.
I'm intense yes, got it.
But sometimes I do like therelaxation sessions too, like,
not just like the abs or like um, I think there's like a core
workout and it's like toning andall that.
No, sometimes I do just arelaxation session at the end of
the night.
See, that's where I draw theline, why you don't like yoga.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Really, I feel like the world of yoga has turned
from something that's likepeaceful, to something.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
that's a workout, which I know you can work out,
but it's like why am I doing absin yoga, like I get it?
That was a surprise for me too,when I saw the class list and
(03:49):
there was like a relaxationcandlelight and I was like isn't
that kind of like what italways is?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
yeah, and then I noticed it was like a hot abs
and then there's like bar,because they mix it in with bar
a little bit.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
A little bit of pilates defeats appropriate as
well.
I mean a little bit, a littlebit, but anyway, I signed up
looking forward to that.
Never mind I can't get a classuntil two weeks from now, but
okay, um, yes, I signed up forthat.
Looking forward to our greecetrip, yes, yes, in august, yes,
um, but yeah, and enjoyingsummer like in canada.
The weather's horrible 90 ofthe year.
(04:13):
So like, okay, maybe that's notgood math, 75 of the year, yeah
, I think canadians canadiansare probably listening to this
saying which kind of are youfrom?
it's kind of, but yeah, 75% ofthe year it's gray and cold, but
summertime is beautiful inToronto, so I'm looking forward
to that.
Nice Thanks, what's up with you?
You know, I think that I'm inthe season of wellness for
(04:37):
summer.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Okay, that's what I'm like.
How do I say this?
Like I'm preparing my body forwellness.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
I heard it.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
So how do I say?
Speaker 3 (04:46):
it's like I'm preparing my body for wellness.
So, to update you, I did startpersonal training.
Okay, I said budget where, oh,okay, oh, you didn't, you didn't
crunch your numbers that'sprobably why you signed up yeah.
I just take it week by week.
That's my plan week.
It's well thought.
The spreadsheet is like week byweek no spreadsheet,
spreadsheet, no spreadsheet,just show up right.
So twice a week with your card,twice a week yeah, yeah, zell,
(05:10):
but oh, your pt takes yes,exactly so personal training.
But that's not all, okay.
Oh, there's more there is morewait there's more.
Yeah, if you sign up now um soI'm also doing facial treatments
every two weeks.
Yes, you know, I've sufferedfrom acne adult acne forever,
(05:33):
and so I'm like you know what?
Speaker 1 (05:34):
let's get back into the routine, um, and then I'm
trying to eat well as well sowe'll see how that goes, but
that's that's where I'm at.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
I am centering wellness for summer.
I hear that when you mentionedthe facial, it reminded me.
When I went to get my lipomaremoved, I asked them about
doing a chemical peel oh, overthe scar, or something.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
No, on my face.
On my face, okay, so notconnected to the lipoma.
No.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
It's just the same facility, like the same office
same doctor and I asked about it.
It's like a three-step thing.
You got to go for like threesessions, I think.
It's like $7.50 for all threesessions, which is interesting.
Hmm, I don't mind, I'm going togive it a shot, I think.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Yeah, I think it helps.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
It definitely helps my skin feel smoother.
And all the things to do.
Chemical peels, oh, so you dothem regularly?
Yeah, that's part of the acnetreat.
Oh, the treatment, okay, notthe facial.
No, like acne facial treatment?
Yeah, includes like thechemical peels.
How often every two weeks?
Speaker 1 (06:32):
oh I'm invested wow, I'm invested.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
I hoped by august to look like a honey bitch doable
you don't sound like you believeme.
Whole new bitch, whole newbitch stand with my sister.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
I'm standing with you , girl.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
I stand with you in all your rights and all your
wrongs.
I stand for women's rights,sisters rights and sisters
wrongs.
What we were going for.
Alright girl, I hear you.
I want to Sisters rights andsisters wrongs.
Mm-hmm, what we were going for,yeah, that's it.
Yeah, all right girl, I hearyou.
I hear you.
I mean, I want to, like, I knowwe said we were going to do a
game.
Mm-hmm, should we do a littlebit of the game piece?
(07:16):
Let's do the game.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Let's do the game.
You want to go first?
You want, okay, but before wedo the game, I think we should
share first why we're even doingthis pod why we even do this
podcast like and then we can getinto like the fun stuff and ask
you the questions and all thisstuff I hear that let's give a
little, a little depth, a littlemeaning.
Yeah, because it's the firsttime.
First time we're doing apodcast together as sisters
(07:38):
we're also seven years timetogether as sisters doing
podcast.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Yes, okay, you gotta edit that no, dre, you don't
gotta edit that you can leavethat so, by the way, our
producer shout out to theproducer man shout out to our
producer say something, producerman hey, we're working on it,
first episode, he's the youngest, first episode and we also got
(08:04):
my wife I was about to say ourset assistant.
Hello, okay, hello wifey, hellowifey.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Yes, say something, karen.
Hey, okay, I don't know ify'all heard that we're warming
up.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
We'll get you.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
She is taken Circle yeah, I know they heard the hand
Underline that Taken.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Yeah, highlight Bold Italics.
Okay, and we're also sevenyears apart, so I also want to
note that too.
I feel like it comes across inour styles.
But so here we are, sisters.
Why did you decide to do thispodcast with me?
I think to take myself out ofmy comfort zone, like I've done
(08:42):
YouTube before and that's likeby myself.
I do voiceovers, by the way hatethe sound of my own voice, so
this is gonna be prettyinteresting and she sounds
gorgeous.
But, um, I thank you.
Um, but, yeah, to stretchmyself, to learn something new
about myself, to work on myability to be vulnerable.
I think that's a big piece ofthis too.
(09:03):
I'm not all the way into thetherapy yet, people, so this
might be a little piece oftherapy, okay.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
I'm working on it.
I'm really helping to converther to the therapy side A little
too hard, but anyway but it'salso my job.
Yeah, uh huh, uh huh.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
So, yeah, I think that's what I'm looking forward
to most is like learningsomething new about myself,
trying something different,stretching myself beyond what
I'm used to on a day to day, orlike what my usual creative
spirit allows me to do.
This is different and I'mhoping that it catapults me to
something different, like to adifferent stage of life, to a
different um, like adult in, orno, well, actually, actually
(09:46):
maybe, but also I mean like longterm, like when I think about
my life, like maybe this isgoing to become a staple part,
maybe not a podcast or, butsomething creative.
You know, I always talk aboutwanting to have greater autonomy
over my time is very importantfor me, yeah, um, and sometimes
working a nine-to to five justdoesn't give you that.
My daughter is getting older.
I'm thinking about, like, howam I spending time with her?
(10:08):
How am I setting an example forher?
You know, what will my legacybe?
Like a lot of deep questions,not, and I'm like on my way to
40.
Yeah, I was just gonna.
So, yeah, yeah, and so whoknows what this can be and what
it can lead to, but I'm lookingforward to finding out and, you
know, giving it a try.
Yeah, I do think there issomething about, like, our
episodes and the topics thatwe've chosen that are deeply
reflective as well, and so Icould see how that could like
(10:31):
open up, yeah, a lot of morequestions for you of like what
does my purpose?
What is what's?
the next stage of my life looklike correct in this way.
Correct, I'm still working onthat question.
Like it's a, it's a bigquestion for me.
Yeah, what is my purpose?
I don't know.
Sometimes I think it'sparenting, because, like, maybe
I do it well, like 60 percent ofthe time.
Yeah, but I don't know.
(10:52):
I don't know what my purpose isand like, I'm not afraid to
admit that, but I also feel likeI'm running out of time to find
out, which is interesting.
Do you think there are peopleout there that actually know
their purpose?
Though they do, I believe thereare.
Yeah, really, as to whetherthey're right or not is a
different story, but do theybelieve that they know?
I feel there are people who doknow, who believe that they know
.
Yeah, I don't know.
(11:12):
I think the idea of like findingyour purpose is this lure that
that can just drive you insane.
Do you think it's ever evolvingor that it's just not a thing?
And maybe, if you use anotherword outside of purpose, like
there's a weight to the wordpurpose?
Okay, I can see that you knowwhat I mean.
I can see that I don't know.
It's such a big endeavor tolike.
Ah, what is my purpose?
(11:34):
But I feel like some peopleorganically find it.
Some people, like always knowwhat they want to do and be and
they like live it out.
They do.
Do you want an example?
You, you always knew what youwanted to do and be, and you
stood in that.
I wanted to be a model.
There was always an, and whenMa told you like, listen you
(11:54):
needed to also have an education.
You picked this like right offthe bat.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Middle child.
I know, yeah, exactly, it'sdifferent, it's birth order.
Very important point.
What is the?
Speaker 3 (12:04):
eldest child most likely to do in life.
We should find out what theirparents want them to do oh, oh
yeah, 100, 100 or whatever youthink is like most pleasing to
your parents okay, yeah yeah, soyou're blue.
Oh, I'm blue.
Yeah, I'm blue.
I am blue and you're roomie.
I do whatever and you're roomie, I'll take it.
(12:24):
She's over the stage, she'slike listen leave me jacket,
please out of this.
Hey y'all, bye y'all.
The way she put her hand on meon, what is her name?
blue said let's get off thestage, off the stage child.
Yeah, now it's time.
No, the birth order makes adifference.
It does, and like that becauseyou kind of like conform as a
(12:45):
first child.
You like you're left withquestions when you get to a
stage in your life where you'relike what am I really meant to
to be, what am I really meant todo?
Speaker 1 (12:52):
so anyway, it's like a period of rediscovery it is,
and that's what you'rediscovering, and you know why,
too?
Speaker 3 (12:57):
because now parenting's a little easier for
me, for me and my husband.
With Leilani being older andshe has a lot more independence,
I have a bit more free time todiscover and think about me and
the things that I want, right,which is very different than
having spent 10 years likethinking about what she wants,
what's best for her right.
She's a lot more independentnow.
(13:18):
She makes her own meals.
You know she's walking homefrom school, so it's leaving me
with time to think about what Iwant to do and that's like right
on track.
That's actually really right ontrack.
Just putting on a little bit ofthat like therapist hat.
Okay, the first 10 years ofparenting you're really focused
in on parenting and your childand that's usually the time
(13:41):
where, like marriages andrelationships, their intimacy
suffer.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
And then, like you said, middle school, when they
have a little bit moreindependence, you start to get
to the space of like oh, theydon't need me to look after them
24 seven.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
They have a little bit of their own like life and
social life.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
They have their little friend group.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Yeah, so you don't got to be one of their little
friends, that's correct yeah.
And that's when you startthinking about oh wait, you look
up, what do I want to do now?
And you start focusing on yourrelationship, going on more
dates, yeah.
But you know what?
I'm gonna push that a littlefurther.
I don't think it's just aboutthe age of my daughter.
I think it's also a little bitof, dare I say, and for lack of
(14:22):
a better phrase, maybe I don'thave the phrase, but it's a
little bit of gender roles,because I'm not sure my husband
feels the same way, like I'm notsure he's like experiencing
this like halt in his identitydevelopment yeah.
I do not think so.
I think like he's always knownwhat he wants to do or be what,
even if that changes, I don'tfeel like he's ever been in a
(14:43):
stage where he questions that orfeels restricted in trying to
explore that because ofparenting.
Correct, correct, mm-hmm,correct.
Anyway, that's a whole othertopic.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Bold highlight underline yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Italics yeah, oh, uh-huh, yeah, but no, okay, I
feel you.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Interesting that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Interesting, interesting, we'll see how it
goes.
I mean, listen.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
I'm ready for the next 10 years of parenting and
what that's going to look like,and also of, like
self-redevelopment as well.
New challenges, new experiences.
I'm done, I'm done, yeah, Imean, I think, when I thought
about this podcast with you, um,I felt like it was this time to
rediscover our relationship assisters.
(15:25):
I had this like realizationvery recently.
Okay, after we decided to do apodcast and this is what
solidified, I was like oh, maybethis is why I chose to do
podcasts with you.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
I had this realization that I don't know at
what point do sisters becomedisconnected.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
I have clients who have sister relationships that
are similar to ours and verydivergent from ours.
Okay, but they're also indifferent age groups, correct?
So it made me start to think of.
Do our sibling dynamics startto like is this dynamic we have
now going to be the same dynamicwe have in 10, 15, 20 years?
(16:06):
Will time change that like?
look at our aunts and I'm justsaying, like things have changed
and there could be multiplereasons why, but I wonder if one
of those reasons is time andage and stage of life and stage
of life, kids, no kids, divorce,all those things, right, right,
and so I feel like this podcastis an opportunity for us to
(16:27):
intentionally stay connected,okay, okay, I think you're gonna
tell me you thought we weredisconnected because I was like
I don't know if I feel like weare connected now than we've
ever been.
I agree, yeah, I agree, but I Ithink this would really help to,
I don't know, bolster that insome way.
Okay, so that time and distanceand life stages doesn't draw us
apart.
I hear that because that isexactly what we are talking
(16:48):
about difference in life stages,and normalizing that versus
using it as something that, like, separates us I hear that.
I hear that, let's see, let'ssee.
I'm open to finding out andalso I don't know many caribbean
podcasters.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
I mean there are a few.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
I do know a few, to be honest, but like sister
Caribbean, like Caribbeansisters, I think that's
different.
I think we're a bit unique inthat sense.
Yeah, let's see, we're doing itfor the culture One time.
We're doing it for the culture,one time for the culture, two
times for the culture.
Oh, we got one and then two.
I feel like you should go oneand two, but anyway, okay, we
(17:26):
tried.
Our producer will do what hewill with that scene Dre Drizzy
In or out, he'll decide.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
We still recording Dre.
That's right.
Good, we're still on.
Okay, are you gonna take usinto the next fun segment?
I feel like you're more of theplaymaker between the two of us.
You're very fun.
Yeah, because I was allowed tobe before I came for seven years
(17:50):
.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Oh gosh no, that's what I was gonna say.
No, you're used to be fun forseven years and then something
in your life changed?
Speaker 3 (17:56):
definitely not what I was gonna say.
Like me, no, no, also not that.
And I like, like I thinkparenting sericed me up.
Yeah, and I talked to Dannyagain, my husband not so much,
but yeah, for me it did Mm-hmm,Took my fun bone away a little
bit.
I feel like we're gonna getthat funny bone back.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Funny or fun Fun bone Fun bone.
Not funny bone, you still haveyour funny.
Oh yeah, I'm funny.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
I'm just gonna take a little sippy sip.
You don't think I'm?
Speaker 2 (18:36):
funny.
I'm just sipping my um my tea.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
That's what we're gonna tell the people it's tea
good tea, good tea, good tea,okay so let's get into it, this
next segment we're gonna dosomething really fun get to know
you in a different way havethem.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Our listeners know us .
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Yes um, and this is gonna warm us up a little bit
for the episode yeah, so we'regonna play a fun little game of
who's most likely to, okay, andwe have like a list of questions
and we've both chosen questionsthat we don't know what each
other has chosen, but there is alikelihood that we've chosen
the same question which.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
I think is a testament.
If we did, we should get extrabonus points.
I feel like we should, so whileour producers get the pen and
paper for us, to do this littlegamey game perhaps we should
show them our little logo.
Oh yes, merch, coming soon.
What of gamey game?
Yeah, we gonna do.
Perhaps we should show them ourlittle logo.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Oh yes, uh-huh, merch coming soon, is it really?
Speaker 3 (19:28):
what's my camera?
This one, okay, that's mycamera, okay.
And I said and what?
Okay, okay, yeah, you know whatI have to remember?
Podcast.
Obviously it's a podcast.
I mean, maybe in 10 years itmight be a movie or a TV show
(19:50):
Come on somebody, not Oprah, no,I mean like a TV show, like a
sit-down talk show.
Actually it's a talk show.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Yeah, talk show is different than TV show, that's
where things got a littleconfusing.
All right, so who?
I'll go first because I'm themiddle child Alright.
Who's most likely to?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
cry during a sad movie.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Alright, 3, 2, 1.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Definitely me.
You are a crier, I am 100% acrier.
I'm steel on the outside,marshmallow on the inside.
Is that the analogy?
I'm pretty sure Iron clad onthe outside Don't fuck with me.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
But on the inside boop boop.
Cry me a river.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
I'll be crying.
What's the saddest movie you'veever seen?
Do you even know?
Actually the saddest movie I'veever seen was Beaches with
Bette Midler.
Really really sad.
Even know what kind of movieyou've ever seen.
The saddest movie I've everseen was um beaches with bet
middler.
Really really sad movie.
Almost said funny.
Oh my god, really sad movie uh,she so it was like two friends,
(20:56):
different walks of life.
One was really rich, one waslike from you know, from an
urban area, not so well off.
But the one who wasn't so welloff was a musician, like a
struggling musician.
She liked to sing excellentvoice, performed at bars and all
that good stuff.
The other friend was likereally affluent, come from a
family where they always incountry clubs and all the things
Unlikely friends, theirfamilies didn't really know, yep
(21:17):
, and the rich one got cancerand died.
Oh no, I think she actually hada daughter as well and left the
daughter with the best friend.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, real sad, I didn't think
that I would get that correct.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
So someone did die someone did die.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
That's unfortunate.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Yeah, best friend died rich one, I'm sorry, yeah,
okay, I'm gonna go next.
I bawled, okay, it's.
It's sad.
Okay, question number two speedround.
Okay, who's most likely toforget a birthday?
Speaker 1 (21:46):
okay, don't feel attacked okay, do you just just
write the answer down, uh-huh,and we're gonna say three two,
one, let's go okay.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
So it says, d are we in agreement?
Yeah, what happened to thatcalendar, sis?
Listen, what happened to thatcalendar?
That is another.
What happened to that calendar,sis?
That is another level ofadulting.
It's putting birthdays on theGoogle calendar.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
So let me tell you something I got that one.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
That one is me.
I'm the one sharing all thebirthday invites with Denny, his
great grandmother.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
I got everything.
Oh, you have everybody.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
I got the years I got the everything the ages.
Okay, just the years.
We the ages.
Okay, just the years.
We'll do the math.
Okay, I do the math, but I dohave the years I do.
And I say, hey, babe, today isso-and-so birthday, text him,
call him, and he goes.
Okay, thanks, literally I gotit.
You hold on the household,listen, I do and listen, I put
like everything Dentistsappointments, doctor visits,
(22:40):
school activities, it'severything, date nights, every
fucking thing.
I got it in the calendar, okaycool so I'm most likely to
forget a birthday.
Got it, thank you.
Why is that, daniel, listen,are you not december?
Like 20 something?
You're in december, uh-huh likeyou're jan 5 january.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I got it okay, at least I got your month,
something you said I you saidsomething it's exact or nothing.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
It's October or nothing for those of you
listening.
I'm a Libra and I'm a Capricorn, the best sign of all time
debatable.
I was just.
I was just with your mama.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Capricorn okay so my question for you is who's most
likely to show up late?
Speaker 3 (23:33):
but still, look cute, I could do that one with my
eyes closed and I mean write thename.
Three, two, one it's me, it'syou, it's you, and that's
exactly how you're gonna show uptoo.
Oh hi, I'm here.
I made it, it's me, myapologies.
La traffic Give me the shouldershimmy.
(23:53):
That shimmy turned out to be,oh my God, who's most likely to
laugh at the worst time?
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
And if this wasn't an attack, Idon't know what is Three this
doesn't feel equitable.
Two, one I try my best, you doit's me again.
(24:16):
I know it's you, but like Ican't even think of a moment
where you did it.
But I just know it's you Huh.
I can't think of a moment whereyou laughed at the wrong time.
I don't know about you.
I guess other things about yourpersonality tells me that Dre,
is it Danielle or no?
Okay, he's producing Yay or nay.
(24:36):
Dre, he can't answer.
Okay, karen, karen, why Karen?
I know, karen.
I know we love Uh-huh, baby.
Uh-huh, uh-huh, what?
Speaker 2 (24:46):
was the question.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Who's most likely to laugh at the worst time?
That's right.
She said that's my baby.
She threw me jesus, I told you.
She lifted me up out of thischair, laid me down and let the
bus just settle.
Settle.
Wow, because it's true.
Okay, okay, I got you on thisone.
I got you on this one.
Okay, it's gonna be bad.
I got you on this one.
Hold on, just let me.
I'm finding it, oh, okay.
(25:19):
I guess it's like the calendarthing.
Huh, okay, okay, um, who's mostlikely to plan the entire
itinerary down to the minute?
Let's just talk about thispodcast planning for a second,
okay um who's most likely toplan the podcast down to the
minute.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Interested, let me see, let me make sure I spell
the name correct this time.
Three, two one.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
It's you, it's me, it's me.
But you know what the funnypart of that is?
You're probably I'm most, I'mthe most nervous.
I find it not to admit it, butI am the most nervous here right
now.
Yeah, uh-huh, and I talk topeople every day.
I mean, I don't like talk likean interview style but I talk to
people randomly Mm-mm-mm.
(26:18):
Oh, you said no thank you totalking to people randomly.
See that I don't do people.
I love y'all but I don't dopeople.
Okay, you know what funny storyeveryone that I know I've met
through someone else or at avery like rudimentary social
setting, like work, for example.
When I say social, like orprofessional setting like work,
for example, when I say sociallike a professional setting like
work, or a class likeuniversity for example.
Structure, structure, that's theword I'm looking for.
(26:39):
I don't randomly talk to people.
No, no, zero, it's a whole zerofor me.
Wow, no, my trust won't let me.
So you're an introvert at heart.
That's what I think too, butlike I think you know, maybe no,
I think I'm an extrovertedintrovert I don't know if I
could believe that, and I thinkthe producers are looking at you
(27:01):
really I thought I was so funnyI was talking to.
Actually, I went to a speechrecently and this lady was
saying introverts and extrovertsare not just about people who
like people and people who don'tlike people.
Yes, it's about what energizesthe individual and what drains
them right so introverts areenergized in solitude and
(27:27):
extroverts are are energizeduh.
I'm in the solitude, that's me.
So you're confirming that youare an introvert.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
I'm an extroverted introvert.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Yeah, oh, that's where we landed.
That's exactly where I landed.
Where did you land?
Come on up, come on up, put onthose wings.
You know, I think we'll circleback, circle back.
Let's put a pin pin in that.
Uh huh, we'll workshop it.
Corporate talk, talk.
Corporate speak.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
speak man yep all right, okay.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
Um man, how many questions are we doing?
How many do you have?
I'm done asking my questions.
We're supposed to have five.
I actually cheated and I havesix, but you should have five
you have okay, so none of us didthe assignment correctly.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Oh my god oh my god, let me just ask mine.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
I'll ask mine.
I'll ask mine.
I got you.
Who's most likely to ghostsomeone and pretend nothing
happened?
Are you done writing you justrecycling paper?
No, oh, oh, that's why you gotthat doctorate, huh, okay, I'm
(28:34):
gonna recycle, I'm gonna recycle.
What's the rule about the I'sand the E's?
It's Z-I.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
No, no, not how they spell your name.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
The grammatic oh, why , you fucking need to spell that
out.
None of our names.
Okay, fine, just go ahead andcatch me on camera, not knowing
how to spell with my doctorate.
Go ahead.
Okay, let's go.
Three, two, one, neither, ohyou, oh, definitely me.
Oh, 100%.
And I got a funny story for ittoo oh, this is you did I spell
(29:04):
neither correct it doesn't lookright before e, except after c,
so that's right.
Right, it's wrong.
Right I before e, except afterC.
So that's wrong.
Right, dre, it's wrong, orright I before E, except after C
.
And Okay, now we gotta Google.
Now we gotta Google.
Okay producers, how do youspell?
Neither Uh-huh.
That's correct.
It's correct.
Use it, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (29:25):
I before E except after C, that's an extra point.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
I don't know who was point-taking.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
That's point.
I don't know who was pointtaken.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
That's correct, okay, okay, great.
I'm glad we clarified from theproducers that I spelled neither
correctly, but apparently I wasstill wrong, because it's you
yeah, you would go someone.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Oh, yeah, I would 100% close people oh my god see,
that's why you didn't datearound the dating pods.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
I didn't what.
You didn't date when we had umdating app sorry, because we
didn't go to high school at thesame time, so you're a little
bit um older.
Okay, I don't even think datingapps existed, okay, when you
were, you know, looking for aloved one.
Disrespect, like how leilaniasked me if there was color when
I was growing up.
She thought I was like raisedin black and white, uh-huh,
(30:05):
uh-huh.
Like we couldn't see nothinglike you could just see black
and white uh-huh, uh-huh.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
Like when she says back in my day she said in my
day, because she said the tv wasin black and white, so you must
have seen black and white.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
Uh-huh, anyway, my funny story.
It's not really that funny, butand I hope so.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Who did you go?
Speaker 3 (30:27):
I'll tell you oh okay , girl, oh dog is it your?
dad one time, what?
No, you didn't go to your dad,no, okay, great, so okay.
This is not for this episode ofthe pod, let's keep going.
Planning a trip to saint thomasin the us virgin islands?
Stay in comfort and style atthe city landing modern airbnb
(30:51):
units just steps from shops,dining and the ferry terminal.
Ditch the overpriced hotels.
Enjoy better rates andinclusive weekly and monthly
stay discounts.
With only two units available,spots fill up fast, so book your
home away from home.
Island escape today atthecitylandingcom the.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
City.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
Landing where comfort meets convenience.
Book your stay atthecitylandingcom.
So there was this time, rightwhen Danny and I had taken a
break and I was so frustrated, Istarted talking to an ex of
mine okay, and we had madethat's okay, it'll make the part
.
I ain't saying nobody's nameand I ain't saying where they
live or nothing.
So we had made plans to likemeet each other in miami.
(31:37):
I was like, okay, cool, Ialready had a flight that I
could like change a flight andgo right, because I was going
somewhere else already, I think,and maybe I missed my flight or
something had a flight creditand I was like, okay, well, you
know what we'll go to, we'llmeet in miami, he'll do the
hotel, because he had like hoteldeals for something.
Girl, I got nervous, you didnot meet that man in Miami.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
No, I didn't.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
But wait, wait, I didn't make him buy the hotel or
nothing.
Wait, we didn't go like thatfar.
But what I did was I ended uplike picking a fight and like I
blocked it Because you didn'twant to go to Miami.
No, I was like is this man goingto touch me Like I have to like
Sex by the hand?
Uh-uh, you're like is thisMiami trip a promise in
something I'm not ready to give?
(32:14):
Yeah, so let me pick a fightand block him.
Oh yeah, I did, girl, becauseyou didn't want to communicate.
I mean we're still friends,don't get me wrong.
But like after a while Iunblocked him and like they just
said, yeah, it wasn't happening, no problems, but let me just,
let's go back, you go back,let's go back, unpack it.
You're on a break with your nowhusband.
(32:34):
yes, then, boyfriend and you hitup an ex and we were always
friends right so like I didn'tgo like it was not helping, not
helping not helping, okay, sorryyeah, let's not clarify that an
ex is actually a friend theentire time.
I'm sorry, pause, wait.
We don't have, we're notfriends, but we don't friends
with our exes.
Okay, that's not a rule ofthumb.
(32:55):
Hold on, wait, wait a minute.
I mean, I'm not saying likeeveryone should be, but like
nothing was wrong with me andthis ex why we couldn't be
friends.
Well, you went to the reason you, it's a problem.
Here is the reason everyonesays you shouldn't be friends
with your exes.
Oh, okay, oh, I see, you see,because you hit him up, I guess,
yeah, well, yeah, okay,whatever, yeah, I'll take that
(33:19):
one.
And not only did you hit him up, you said let's go to miami.
Well, no, it wasn't my idea, itwas just that you know, it was
convenient, we're due for avacation.
I said what I said.
And that concludes the get intono game.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
No, it's not.
Speaker 3 (33:37):
No, it's not.
I still have another question,and it's going to throw you
under the bus too.
Let me get it.
Oh, no, it ain't.
It's in good Actually, it's twogood questions actually.
I do have, okay, and one ofthem is really good for you,
danielle.
Yeah, it's in your favor, youready.
Best advice.
I give the best advice.
Oh shit, wait, I have some ofthis, three more.
Okay, we missed Okay.
(33:58):
Okay, girl, let's go.
Who's most likely to give thebest advice?
It's me.
Do we need to write it down?
Oh really, I mean it might beyou, because you evolved.
I, I like to think, as aspecies, we have all evolved,
but do you mean enlightened?
That's not a bit culty, oh tosay enlightened?
(34:22):
Oh no, doesn't that sound likeit does?
Speaker 1 (34:25):
it does sound a little culty.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
I agree, yeah, but I mean involved is just a word I
use loosely, really.
Yes, we have all involved insome way, some form, but yeah, I
think that you have most, yeah,I mean of the sibling trio yeah
of course, I think it's justbecause of all the things you
learn as you as a therapist okay, yeah, yeah, if I was gonna say
in life I was like no, this isbeyond life yeah, I.
(34:49):
I agree with that.
Okay, who's most likely to plana surprise party?
You know, let me think about it, let me think about it.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
You ain't got to think, let me.
Speaker 3 (35:02):
Okay, okay, okay.
Yes, yes, it is oh many apeople have had surprise parties
for me, many a people.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Okay, do you want to name them?
Do you want reviews?
Speaker 3 (35:11):
We're not going to name them.
Okay, naming no names?
Yeah, you are good.
I like a good party.
I think that you're very caringabout people to really think
about what they would like fortheir party.
Yes, and you really personalizethe party and birthdays too.
I feel like birthdays should becelebrated.
They should be special, Like ifI was a millionaire, I would
celebrate everything andeveryone If you were a
(35:32):
millionaire.
I cannot wait to be celebrated.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Oh see, See what I mean.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
This is gonna be good See what.
I mean, that's why you have tobecome a millionaire.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
now I feel like you're on track for all of us.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Uh-uh, uh-uh, you're on track for all of us, huh.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
Yeah.
Mm-hmm we waiting on you girl,can we waiting?
Speaker 3 (35:53):
eh, that's what I said, listen, and that's why, as
a middle child, uh-huh You'regoing to be the millionaire.
We have back pains, middlemillionaire, yeah, back pain,
mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Middle children we feel it, mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
Because we carry the siblings, we do last one.
Okay, go ahead.
Who's most likely to chair theother up?
I'm asking you that directly,you don't have to write that
down.
Let me see what you say um, Idon't know, I feel like we, we
kind of like I don't know chaireach up, chair each other up
differently.
I don't know, I think we bothare.
We could chair each other up.
(36:37):
We could turn the day around indifferent ways, I think so.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Yeah, okay, cool, alright what's next on the
docket?
Speaker 3 (36:47):
well, that now concludes the getting to know
you game and we're gonna do alittle over to the main topic.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
Okay, All right.
So this segment we're going tobe talking about all the things
that make us want to like giveour adulting card back.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
Right back Like stand in line.
You know how sometimes youdon't want to stand in line
because it's like, oh, this lineis way too long, I'll just keep
the item.
I would stand in line.
Speaker 3 (37:13):
You know how sometimes you don't want to
stand in line because it's like,oh, this line's way too long,
I'll just keep the item.
I would stand in line, I wouldstand in line and I am calling
customer service while I am onthat line.
You know how, back in the day Idon't know that you used to do
this you'd go to the club,uh-huh, and you actually had to
get blankets out of your car.
You're holding it and getblankets.
Oh god, no, no, what we used todo is we used because you were
going without a jacket in thecold, like, oh yeah, we did that
(37:34):
too, uh-huh, and you know it'sa lot colder in england oh yeah,
you went to.
Oh yeah I would stand in line inthe cold to give my adult card
back.
Really, yeah, me too.
I mean most days, to be honest,yeah, and I'm sure, if there's
like a, a service where it'slike you give it back for 30
days and sign me up, you know Iwould like a vacation from
(37:56):
adulting.
I hear that.
I hear that I would do that.
Should we start that business?
We should.
Yeah, we're gonna go about it.
Let's circle back.
Let's circle back.
Let's circle back.
Stick a pin, yeah yeah, I don'tknow.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
I think yes, as we're talking about growing up and
getting older, I'm curious, likeis?
Speaker 3 (38:16):
adulthood what you thought it would be?
Oh, that's a big question.
Um, I don't know if I was everlike fully prepared for
adulthood, like I knew I wantedto be an adult, because I think
that it was romanticized, or atleast we romanticized it as
children like, oh, all thisfreedom and yes, our parents
(38:37):
told us freedom came withresponsibility.
I don't think we like fullyappreciated that.
But, boy oh boy, a lot ofresponsibility.
So, to answer your question,I'm not sure and I don't think
you could fully prepare for it?
No, I don't think so, but Ithink that there are things that
you can do, and maybe I'msaying this as an optimist
(39:00):
Hindsight, yes, hindsight 2020,right, but also, too, maybe
because I feel like that's whatI do as a parent At least,
that's what I'm trying to do asa parent like to get Leilani
ready, but I don't know.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
I don't know, could you ever because times change
right Like things change Exactly.
What you think you need toprepare to be an adult.
Yes, when they finally become,when you finally become an adult
, it's like those same lessonshit differently applicable and
relevant yeah, like who wouldhave thought, you know, we
should have been actually havinglike a savings account, since
(39:35):
we were two.
Oh, god, yeah who knew we had tobuy like a home, save when we
were in the womb.
Basically, we should have beenbuying it in our mother's tummy.
That hit, that hit.
Who could have prepared us forthat?
Nobody, girl.
The absolute ghetto Hood.
I hear that.
(39:56):
I hear that Like.
Was there an exact moment whenyou thought like yeah, I'm an
adult now?
Like when, when, having likeyeah Were you an adult?
When I was like uh-huh, I amnow an adult, when I was like uh
, huh, I am now an adult so Imoved to from.
(40:18):
St Lucia to California at 16 andthat felt like a pretty adult
move.
But I think what really hit itfor me you're gonna laugh at me.
I had a job.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
I had a job too, yeah yeah, I had a job too exactly
uh at this like water park, oh,lifeguard lifeguard I do
Speaker 3 (40:39):
yes, and I got my first paycheck and I called my
mom and I said I'm good.
Uh yeah, you thought-thought, Ithought.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
I was an adult.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
Was I an adult?
Speaker 3 (40:54):
No, but I got my first paycheck and I said oh no,
I got it, I got it.
I got it.
What?
Let me pay your mortgage, mama.
I got you.
Put it in the bank mama, yeah,I got you.
I hear.
(41:14):
That's when I thought, and Iwas an adult.
And then when I really feltlike an adult, taxes, taxes, not
the taxes, not the taxes, notthe taxes.
Well, so I think, if I want toanswer that question sorry, it's
just about taxes.
That's why, but like I thinkthe moment I knew like I was an
adult is when I figured out howto like lessen my taxes, like
(41:38):
knowing that you got to reduceyour taxable income Correct,
reduce your taxable income,right, and then that's going to
like reduce your taxable at theend of the year.
Hmm, yes, oh, I see it doesn'tmean making less.
Yes, it year.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Yes, oh, I mean making less, it makes a taxable
portion of what you make lessabsolutely absolutely, that's
the moment.
Speaker 3 (41:56):
Okay, shit's greek.
Follow me on this.
Oh, okay, you remember.
Yeah, is this the credit card?
Oh, it's the business expense awrite-off.
That's the one.
A write-off, yes, when davidwas like write-off, it's a
write-off, it's fine, it's awrite-off.
Yeah, that's what I.
I thought adulting would belike you know what I mean like
it's okay okay it's a write-offright you got it.
Speaker 2 (42:18):
Yeah, that's fine no, it ain't, no, no it ain't okay.
Speaker 3 (42:21):
but here's another example of when I realized you
know what I really would like togive my adult card back.
Okay, you grew up with pets,okay.
Yeah, and you're like oh, mygosh pets, I want one when.
I'm an adult and they wereoutside.
When we grew up they wereoutside, yeah, and now they're
inside, uh-huh.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
Uh-huh, and then you go to the vet.
Speaker 3 (42:42):
Uh-oh, uh-oh, in the Caribbean we the dog's sick.
Yeah, okay, when it needs to bespayed.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
Now we have a pet insurance.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
Oh okay, yeah, and then I don't remember paying a
vet bill when I was younger,obviously cause I didn't pay the
vet bill yeah.
But I didn't know yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
You didn't know, you didn't know when you see the
$300, but your co-pay is like 20.
Speaker 3 (43:07):
See, that's why we don't do pets.
Leilani wants a dog, she wantsa fish, she wants a hamster.
It's a no in the house, I'msorry.
We are each other's pets, weare enough.
I see that Style that back.
We are enough responsibilityfor each other.
Yes, yes, agreed, don't need nomore pets.
(43:28):
No, it's in the one of the pets.
Yeah, agreed, don't need nomore pets.
No, it's in the one the petsfor us anyway.
Parallel parking was another.
I'm really good at that, okay,yeah, and reverse parking was
hard too at first for me I'mlying, I'm good at reverse
parking, parallel parking, Iwing it.
Yeah, you wing it, I wing it,but I'm really good at reverse
parking okay yeah, so youreverse park I To go in from the
(43:50):
front.
I try to avoid parking Hazardlights.
You know Like quick in and out,just stop the vehicle wherever
it is Just drop it off, yeah,and just go Ballet.
Or is it ballet?
I knew it, I knew it.
Not the California in youBallet?
Okay, I'm way too broke forballet, let's be honest.
(44:11):
Okay, I'm just kidding, I'mjust kidding, I'm way too broke
for ballet, let's be honest.
Yeah, I hear that.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
I hear that let's be very honest about that.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
Okay, ooh, I have one .
Okay, what is it like to seeothers around you grow up?
So I feel like that's part oflike adulting is realizing
you're not the only one gettingolder.
Yes, like adulting is realizingyou're not the only one getting
older.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, and as afirst born, I have had that
(44:38):
experience twice over.
Twice over, maybe three times,I'll say, because I have a
daughter as well.
Oh, um, but watching you anddre grow has been very
interesting for me, yeah, veryinteresting.
Like you're still babies.
What do what?
What do you mean?
You got a job and you, you gota wife, and there are things,
(45:00):
yeah, there are things.
I mean it was way too much forme.
It was, it wasn't you gotmarried last year.
Yes, there was a wedding yeahshe's a child, a child bride.
Yeah, okay, well that too.
I didn't go that far, but I seeI did look youthful, if I do say
so myself, I aged well, yeah,but it's interesting.
(45:20):
I think you want the best foryour siblings.
I'm going to use you guys as anexample, as my example, because
I want the best for you and thethings that I want to impart on
you that you would dodifferently, that I wish I had
done differently, and I hopethat you Maybe you see that or
maybe you listen If I ever shareit or talk to you.
But it's very interestingBecause it also ages.
(45:41):
You too, like watching othersgrow older.
Now you feel a little old.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
You feel old, like your knees hurt.
Speaker 3 (45:49):
She took the mickey.
You legit took the mickey.
You legit took the mickey.
You took the piss, uh-huh.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
But what's funny is my knees hurt, oh and you out
here calling me girl, my kneesdo not hurt, my knees are just
fine, can you do?
Speaker 3 (46:04):
the magni stallion.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Like, just like oh, I can, don't, don't, you can't do
it right now, but I can.
Okay, I believe you, I'll takeyour word for it, good exactly
you can't them it right now, butI can.
Speaker 3 (46:11):
Okay, I believe you, I'll take your word for it.
Good, good, exactly, you can.
Them knees don't work, oh, andyour ankles definitely don't
work.
Okay, listen, I fell, I fell.
That's what she keeps saying.
Y'all, I took a tumble.
It's not about age.
You're going to give them howyou tumbled.
My dog was involved.
(46:34):
We were frolicking you wereroughhousing with your dog, and
she just, and then I just, andthen now I'm so not about age, I
got one for you.
I got one for you.
What's one thing you thoughtadults just knew how to do and
(46:58):
it turns out they absolutely donot.
Okay, okay yeah, okay give it tome I don't know if this is like
answering the question fullyand you may not know this
reference fully, because thismight be I'm sure this exists in
different school systems, but Idon't remember ever this
existing in the Caribbean schoolsystem.
Okay, 504 plans is not the sameas a 501k.
(47:23):
Is that even 501k?
Don't know those.
I don't know the American likethat's an educational plan when
you need like accommodationswithin school.
You don't even know what I wasgoing to say.
I was going to say I don't knowthe American tax system and
their forms.
I didn't know.
I didn't know I had no idea,but did you?
realize I still got it wrong,because it's a 401k, it's not a
(47:45):
501k uh, oh, if you say 401k,then it's, but I thought 401k
was like a 504 plan, like we gotaccommodations.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
No.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
No, okay, they're very different things.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
But what is a 504?
That's the accommodations inthe school system.
Oh okay, I got you.
No, I didn't know about that.
So that's one of the things youthought like.
I just thought we like it.
I just I thought everything wasfigured out for us around
retirement.
Oh so we are talking aboutfinances.
Bitch, you are confusing thefuck out of me you said we are
(48:23):
talking about finances.
I just didn't remember the nameof the whole finance situation.
Okay, oh, so you're comparingthe 504 to the 401k, gotcha?
Okay, I'm on the same page withyou now got it okay?
Oh, I see okay because you knowlike the schools take care of
your 504 plan like you're likegot you assessed, got you.
I just thought retirement waslike got you.
That's how I you know what.
(48:46):
I think we share something here, not so much about the forms,
the piece about retirement, likeI had never thought about
retirement savings until maybethree or four years ago I'm
almost ashamed to admit that,but yeah, never thought about it
.
I mean, I barely paid a checkto paycheck.
And now you want me to thinkabout after I no longer get
paychecks I still need to.
You are.
(49:06):
You are onto something.
It's interesting.
Yeah, the concept of retirementsavings has always been like an
aloof concept to me, neverthought about it, never had to,
and I guess that's part ofliving in your own privilege and
in your own bubble too.
But, girl, I'll be saving, I'llbe saving for that retirement.
Look at you, I'll be trying alittle something.
Okay, put it away.
Gotta, gotta try.
(49:26):
If your life had a warninglabel oh gosh like a shampoo
bottle?
I don't, uh huh.
What would it say?
Oh boy, okay, if my life had awarning label like a shampoo
bottle, what would it say, girl?
(49:48):
I don't know if I would seethis on a warning bottle, but it
would say fuck around and foundout.
I fucked around and found outand found out.
Is that a warning?
I don't know.
I got a sticker.
I don't know if it's a warning.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Mine would just say doing thebest I can, oh, take it as I can
just doing the best I can.
(50:11):
One hundo, that's absolutelytrue.
Okay, what you got?
I asked a couple girl.
You ain't got none, I ain't gotnone, but but wait, wait wait,
I do want to say somethingbecause I remembered I wanted to
mention this around, liketalking about growing up and
growing older and just thephenomenon of adulting.
My clients, different ages, notsharing anything that's
(50:35):
identifiable.
But I was sitting and I waslistening and I was just
thinking about wow, we all havethis as adults, this universal
experience of feeling like we'renot adulted enough.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, no matter theage and what we've done, we're
not adult enough.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, no matter theage and what we've done, we're
not Correct.
Oh yeah, and that is anidentifiable experience for me
(50:57):
personally yeah, Like we shouldhave been further ahead.
Yeah, Like we haven't met thismilestone yet.
I'm turning 50.
I'm turning 30.
I'm turning 60.
I'm turning 40.
And what should I have donebefore I turn this specific age?
It's just, and there are thingsthat I wish I had done
differently, like all of that,yeah, yeah, it's almost like
(51:18):
it's like a mishmash of like Iwish I would have, like, almost
like regret, but also like Ifeel like I'm behind, and it's
like behind by whose plan?
yeah, but if we all feel behind,like if we all feel, then we
must be right, then we'resupposed to be.
Yeah, I don't know something.
Is that easier to believe forme than other days?
That's fair, honestly, somedays it's easier to believe than
(51:38):
that's absolutely fair I justthink it's so interesting that
we are all going through thislike I should have done.
I should have known that Ishould have done this and this
and the struggles are, so wethink we have unique struggles
and a lot of us do have uniquestruggles, but a lot of times we
have very similar struggles.
I'm glad you said that becauseyou know.
You know how I figured that out.
(52:00):
Social media, yes, like I hateto use the phrase like me too,
because I don't mean it in theway like other, of course, right
, but like I watch a lot ofsocial media videos and I go,
huh, that's me right there.
Like it's not just me, mm-hmm,yeah, about a lot of things,
about marriage I'm talking aboutlike marriage content, finance
content, mm-hmm, just gettingolder, content Like Social media
(52:24):
has really opened up my eyes tolike realizing like I'm not
alone on a lot of things.
Yes, it's a double-edged sword,but for the most part, I do
think that is like one of thebenefits of social media is that
you kind of know.
Hey, we're literally all tryingto figure this shit out.
We are all trying to figure itout and you know who else was
trying to figure it out?
Our parents?
We thought they knew.
Speaker 2 (52:51):
We had them on a pedestal.
Speaker 3 (52:51):
Yes, we thought they knew, like I look at where like
ma was when she was 36 and thethings that to me she had
achieved and had.
She was a boss woman.
I mean, she still is a bosswoman, but we didn't know the
ins and outs of that yeah,popcorn and pop culture yes,
what have you been?
Watching what's going like,what's happening in the world,
(53:13):
or in the movies, tv shows,whatever it might be, let's talk
about it.
Did I or did I not last week goto watch sinners?
Speaker 1 (53:27):
Everyone's watching sinners.
And you convinced me and I went, or I convinced you ended up
watching.
Speaker 3 (53:33):
Yeah, there's a lot of things about that.
First of all, I had no ideaabout the vampire themes.
I had seen nothing.
Oh, I just did that.
I find man.
Uh huh, uh huh.
Speaker 1 (53:44):
He was in there.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (53:55):
She is watching me right now, think about oh, my
husband was right next to me inthe cinema too.
My wife too.
That man is could get it.
But oh, and I, oh, okay, all Isaid was he's fine, my apologies
, I just knew he was in it andyou know it was about at least I
thought it was about like ourstory, like a little bit of our
ancestral story or something youknow.
Oh, my, oh, my God.
So great, but I should haveknown.
Cause tell me why and we can cutthis piece if we want to, but
(54:15):
tell me why.
There was a whole heap of whitepeople Girl.
I was like, oh, you didn'tthink that white people made the
cut?
Speaker 2 (54:23):
I just thought like, oh my God thought like oh my god
, they really are here to learnabout our history and learn
about our story.
Speaker 3 (54:28):
Oh, in the movie theater, in the theater, like
attending, like watching themovie, there was a little like
weird well, well it was.
But then I was like, oh okay,we're a little progressive here
in canada, not them wanted toknow about our story and what we
, where we come from.
Uh-uh, they were there for themvampires.
They were there for themvampires.
That's my favorite.
(54:50):
Listen, I was not prepared forsinners, so my wife sent me this
like DM, cause she knew I wasthinking about watching sinners,
and she said, hey, babe, youcan watch it because it's
scaredy cat approved and there'sthis like whole tiktok trend,
letting scaredy cats, fellowscaredy cats, know this is good
(55:10):
to watch.
You're going to be.
There are no jump scares.
This and this and this is fine.
Okay, the first 20 minutes, 10minutes, however many minutes,
there are a few jump scares.
Spoiler alert, because we'regoing to be talking about the
things right.
Speaker 1 (55:24):
Oh yes, if you don't want to talk about it, you got
over this skip.
Speaker 3 (55:27):
Do what you need to do, yeah, but let me tell you
the beginning got some jumpscares.
They, they do.
I mean, just like what was hisname?
Um, I don't know names.
Oh, I thought you okay girl Imade some notes.
I got some notes girl, I don'tknow names but um no no, too
many jumps it was like, honestly, I guess, for me this, the
shock was like I had no idea, Idid not know.
(55:49):
I thought we were likecelebrating our musical history
like our ancestors, a good storyor something.
It wasn't that.
It was all about these damnvampires, yeah, but no, it was a
no for me.
I covered my eyes like 90% ofthe movie oh, yeah, okay, again,
yeah, okay, again.
Percentages are a littleinflated, but you get the point.
You didn't go to school for math, it's fine, 50% no, but it's
(56:13):
scary.
And I didn't expect that.
I did not expect the vampirething, and you know, denny
figured it out early, though hewas like, oh, why is the guy
smoking?
Because, remember, when hecomes to the door asking for
their help in the village, hewas smoking, like his skin was
smoking.
I didn't see that.
Yes, it's because.
Then he said it's because theymust have thrown something on
(56:35):
him or the sun was coming up.
The sun was still up, so he wasstill burning.
You remember when the oh cameto ask for help?
When he came to ask for help,he's like listen, take my money,
whatever.
Oh, and he wanted to get out ofthe sun, so he went went into
the house.
Speaker 1 (56:46):
That's correct and, of course, when he went in the
home.
Speaker 3 (56:48):
He killed the guy on the first night and they waited
until sundown to leave.
Yes, they were like.
The guy on the horse was likelisten, the sun's going down.
Basically we got to get out ofhere and he left.
But the smoking told Dennyuh-huh, something's happening.
And when she walked in the andno one was answering, I was like
uh-uh.
That's not what I signed up foryeah, take me out of here.
Speaker 1 (57:09):
I don't want to be here.
I think it's cool to thinkabout yes, there were vampires
in the movies, but there weredefinitely a lot of like
historical ancestral.
Yes, references.
Speaker 3 (57:20):
Yes within it.
That was really cool.
I didn't think about like musicbeing this like power to like
open up this other realm.
I mean it was really great likeproduction and I know that the
there's a lot of intentionalityabout how it was filmed and all
of it and the irish themes aswell.
Speaker 2 (57:38):
That was also intentional, because they
apparently have like notapparently, but they have like
colonization they?
Speaker 3 (57:44):
what colonization they experience, correct?
Yes, they experiencecolonization, correct?
Yeah, that's what I was gonnasay.
Speaker 1 (57:49):
So they understand what it's like to have their
land stolen from them, yeah,religion forced upon them,
things like that, and so I thinkthat was like really cool
reminders, and not even justreminders, but a history lesson.
Speaker 3 (57:59):
Honestly, because like we didn't grow up, you know
, in this vampire culture, yeah,not the vampire culture.
Oh, I mean in America.
Oh sorry, okay, my apologies.
Okay, you're stuck on thevampires.
Speaker 2 (58:14):
Honestly, that's not what I was.
Speaker 3 (58:15):
I didn't go after that.
I would never have gone,because I don't do thrillers.
I don't do not anymore.
Speaker 1 (58:19):
What did you think it was?
Speaker 3 (58:21):
I told you I thought it was like a historic piece.
Speaker 1 (58:23):
Oh, we're going to learn about our music history.
I should have told you.
Speaker 3 (58:26):
Yeah.
My apologies, I did not know, Ihad like honestly no idea, had
not watched a trailer.
Okay, so what would you rate itoverall?
What would you rate?
Speaker 1 (58:35):
it.
Oh, it was a 10 out of 10.
Absolutely 10 out of 10.
Speaker 3 (58:37):
Even without me knowing that it was.
Speaker 1 (58:38):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (58:40):
Even though it was scary for me a little bit.
The audio, the soundtrack, thestorytelling, the editing as
well was really good.
The character development alittle bit Like if you think
about that, what else?
Even because I watched it inIMAX so I had like a full like
experience of it.
(59:00):
Yeah, what he intended it to be, the producer guy, what he
intended it to be, it was reallygood.
The audio was good, the visualswere good.
Speaker 2 (59:09):
Sometimes, it was wide and sometimes it was square
for me.
Speaker 3 (59:10):
I don't know if anyone else filmed it on two
different um thingamajigs, ohokay, I thought that was like
imax ish type of thing.
I don't know.
Anyway, but yeah, it was reallygood.
I rated a 10 out of 10 and I'llbe interested to see what
happens come award season.
I don't know if it's beingsubmitted for awards, yeah, yeah
, but I'd be interested to seewhat happens.
Yeah, award season was reallygood.
I enjoyed it.
I would rate it like an eightout of 10.
(59:32):
Ooh, why the loss of two points?
Loss of two points because it'smaybe because it's not the type
of genre I would traditionallyleave the theater being like, oh
my gosh, I love this Justbecause of the genre.
Okay, I'm watching it becauseof the historical like impact
and the hype a little bit thehype around it.
(59:55):
And it was produced well and itwas interesting, but it wasn't
necessarily like something thatwas that left me because of the
genre, not because of like themovie itself going.
I'm going to remember this forlife.
So it lost, like the two points, because of your preference.
Yes, yeah, I hear that alright,so we've come to the end of our
(01:00:18):
episode, our first episode, notjust the episode our first
episode.
Really proud of you, reallyproud of me, really proud of us
we did do it.
Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
come on on A-Gang.
Oh, by the way, that stands foradulthood gang.
Speaker 3 (01:00:32):
So welcome, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, a-gang, welcome welcome.
We've just initiated, we have,we have initiated you.
Welcome, welcome and don'tforget to like tell we will be
recording and dropping episodesweekly Every Friday Every Friday
all summer long, so share theseepisodes.
(01:00:52):
If you're watching on YouTube,please like, share, comment and
subscribe.
Also, if you're listening to uson Spotify or Apple Podcasts,
please remember to follow usright.
Yeah, they can follow and leaveus a review.
You can also email us or DM usany reviews, questions, comments
(01:01:12):
, inquiries, businesspartnerships, whatever.
Speaker 1 (01:01:15):
Our email is theadulthoodpod at.
Speaker 3 (01:01:19):
Gmailcom.
Speaker 1 (01:01:21):
And then our.
Speaker 3 (01:01:21):
Instagram is At theadulthoodpod.
All right, see you Bye, theadulthood pod.
Alright, see you bye.
This podcast is for informational and entertainment
purposes only.
It is not intended to be asubstitute for therapy,
professional advice or mentalhealth treatment.
This podcast does not establisha professional relationship of
any kind.
Listeners are encouraged toseek support from a licensed
mental health provider if needed.
We make no representations orwarranties regarding the
accuracy, completeness orapplicability of the content.
The views expressed by theco-hosts are their own and do
not necessarily reflect theviews or positions of any
entities they represent.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Mic check, mic check.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Welcome to Adulthood.
The ultimate scam, the absoluteghetto.
A podcast where twoCaribbean-raised sisters talk
openly about the good, the badand the hood of adulthood.
I'm Z and I'm D.
Let's get into it.
So, oh my god, Welcome to ourvery first episode.
(00:58):
We're so excited to have you.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Yes, we are.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
This truly has been like a long time coming A very
long time coming.
I think even as children weinterviewed each other, so we're
excited that someone's actuallywatching and not just like
teddy bears.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Now we have an audience.
Yeah, not teddy bears.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
Yes, not teddy bears.
Okay, okay, not teddy bears.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Yeah, tell everybody Just letting them know it was
teddy bears before it was.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Now we have actual real people, so that's a step up
we do I'll take it yeah, um,but today we're gonna get into
you, get into know us.
Yeah, um, play a little game.
Oh, we're gonna play a game.
Share our experiences share ourvoice, yeah, and talk a little
bit about growing up and whatthat means, because, ultimately,
this is what this podcast isabout absolutely all right.
(01:45):
So it's time for our firstsegment.
Yes, our sister check-in,correct, yep, uh.
And this is the segment wherewe catch each other up on what's
going on, um, what's happening,what we got coming up, what
we're excited about, what we'restressed about all the good
things all the hood things, allthe hood things, and I think
it's important to note like forfor those of us listening that
(02:06):
we don't see each other on aday-to-day.
We don't right.
You live in toronto and I'm inla and we're filming in la right
now yes, we are um, but youknow you got a whole ass family
back.
Oh, I do, I definitely do.
How are you doing, sis, in thishood we gotta pray for me.
Listen, it's difficult.
Oh, I, I.
You said that was that was yourattempt, that was your thing,
(02:29):
it was quick you caught it quick.
The lord caught it.
Oh and oh.
All right.
So, yeah, I mean raising afamily.
It's tough.
Uh, it definitely is like thecenter of what I do daily, like
my daughter's getting ready formiddle school.
She's going to be 11.
That's crazy.
Um, what else am I lookingforward to?
(02:51):
Signed up for yoga?
Okay, I didn't know you wereinto yoga.
I was.
Yeah, a couple of summers ago Itried it out for the first time
and I really enjoyed it.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Do you do hot yoga, hot yoga, hot yoga, hot yoga,
hot yoga.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
So you are intense.
I'm intense yes, got it.
But sometimes I do like therelaxation sessions too, like,
not just like the abs or like um, I think there's like a core
workout and it's like toning andall that.
No, sometimes I do just arelaxation session at the end of
the night.
See, that's where I draw theline, why you don't like yoga.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Really, I feel like the world of yoga has turned
from something that's likepeaceful, to something.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
that's a workout, which I know you can work out,
but it's like why am I doing absin yoga, like I get it?
That was a surprise for me too,when I saw the class list and
(03:49):
there was like a relaxationcandlelight and I was like isn't
that kind of like what italways is?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
yeah, and then I noticed it was like a hot abs
and then there's like bar,because they mix it in with bar
a little bit.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
A little bit of pilates defeats appropriate as
well.
I mean a little bit, a littlebit, but anyway, I signed up
looking forward to that.
Never mind I can't get a classuntil two weeks from now, but
okay, um, yes, I signed up forthat.
Looking forward to our greecetrip, yes, yes, in august, yes,
um, but yeah, and enjoyingsummer like in canada.
The weather's horrible 90 ofthe year.
(04:13):
So like, okay, maybe that's notgood math, 75 of the year, yeah
, I think canadians canadiansare probably listening to this
saying which kind of are youfrom?
it's kind of, but yeah, 75% ofthe year it's gray and cold, but
summertime is beautiful inToronto, so I'm looking forward
to that.
Nice Thanks, what's up with you?
You know, I think that I'm inthe season of wellness for
(04:37):
summer.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Okay, that's what I'm like.
How do I say this?
Like I'm preparing my body forwellness.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
I heard it.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
So how do I say?
Speaker 3 (04:46):
it's like I'm preparing my body for wellness.
So, to update you, I did startpersonal training.
Okay, I said budget where, oh,okay, oh, you didn't, you didn't
crunch your numbers that'sprobably why you signed up yeah.
I just take it week by week.
That's my plan week.
It's well thought.
The spreadsheet is like week byweek no spreadsheet,
spreadsheet, no spreadsheet,just show up right.
So twice a week with your card,twice a week yeah, yeah, zell,
(05:10):
but oh, your pt takes yes,exactly so personal training.
But that's not all, okay.
Oh, there's more there is morewait there's more.
Yeah, if you sign up now um soI'm also doing facial treatments
every two weeks.
Yes, you know, I've sufferedfrom acne adult acne forever,
(05:33):
and so I'm like you know what?
Speaker 1 (05:34):
let's get back into the routine, um, and then I'm
trying to eat well as well sowe'll see how that goes, but
that's that's where I'm at.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
I am centering wellness for summer.
I hear that when you mentionedthe facial, it reminded me.
When I went to get my lipomaremoved, I asked them about
doing a chemical peel oh, overthe scar, or something.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
No, on my face.
On my face, okay, so notconnected to the lipoma.
No.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
It's just the same facility, like the same office
same doctor and I asked about it.
It's like a three-step thing.
You got to go for like threesessions, I think.
It's like $7.50 for all threesessions, which is interesting.
Hmm, I don't mind, I'm going togive it a shot, I think.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Yeah, I think it helps.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
It definitely helps my skin feel smoother.
And all the things to do.
Chemical peels, oh, so you dothem regularly?
Yeah, that's part of the acnetreat.
Oh, the treatment, okay, notthe facial.
No, like acne facial treatment?
Yeah, includes like thechemical peels.
How often every two weeks?
Speaker 1 (06:32):
oh I'm invested wow, I'm invested.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
I hoped by august to look like a honey bitch doable
you don't sound like you believeme.
Whole new bitch, whole newbitch stand with my sister.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
I'm standing with you , girl.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
I stand with you in all your rights and all your
wrongs.
I stand for women's rights,sisters rights and sisters
wrongs.
What we were going for.
Alright girl, I hear you.
I want to Sisters rights andsisters wrongs.
Mm-hmm, what we were going for,yeah, that's it.
Yeah, all right girl, I hearyou.
I hear you.
I mean, I want to, like, I knowwe said we were going to do a
game.
Mm-hmm, should we do a littlebit of the game piece?
(07:16):
Let's do the game.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Let's do the game.
You want to go first?
You want, okay, but before wedo the game, I think we should
share first why we're even doingthis pod why we even do this
podcast like and then we can getinto like the fun stuff and ask
you the questions and all thisstuff I hear that let's give a
little, a little depth, a littlemeaning.
Yeah, because it's the firsttime.
First time we're doing apodcast together as sisters
(07:38):
we're also seven years timetogether as sisters doing
podcast.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Yes, okay, you gotta edit that no, dre, you don't
gotta edit that you can leavethat so, by the way, our
producer shout out to theproducer man shout out to our
producer say something, producerman hey, we're working on it,
first episode, he's the youngest, first episode and we also got
(08:04):
my wife I was about to say ourset assistant.
Hello, okay, hello wifey, hellowifey.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Yes, say something, karen.
Hey, okay, I don't know ify'all heard that we're warming
up.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
We'll get you.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
She is taken Circle yeah, I know they heard the hand
Underline that Taken.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Yeah, highlight Bold Italics.
Okay, and we're also sevenyears apart, so I also want to
note that too.
I feel like it comes across inour styles.
But so here we are, sisters.
Why did you decide to do thispodcast with me?
I think to take myself out ofmy comfort zone, like I've done
(08:42):
YouTube before and that's likeby myself.
I do voiceovers, by the way hatethe sound of my own voice, so
this is gonna be prettyinteresting and she sounds
gorgeous.
But, um, I thank you.
Um, but, yeah, to stretchmyself, to learn something new
about myself, to work on myability to be vulnerable.
I think that's a big piece ofthis too.
(09:03):
I'm not all the way into thetherapy yet, people, so this
might be a little piece oftherapy, okay.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
I'm working on it.
I'm really helping to converther to the therapy side A little
too hard, but anyway but it'salso my job.
Yeah, uh huh, uh huh.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
So, yeah, I think that's what I'm looking forward
to most is like learningsomething new about myself,
trying something different,stretching myself beyond what
I'm used to on a day to day, orlike what my usual creative
spirit allows me to do.
This is different and I'mhoping that it catapults me to
something different, like to adifferent stage of life, to a
different um, like adult in, orno, well, actually, actually
(09:46):
maybe, but also I mean like longterm, like when I think about
my life, like maybe this isgoing to become a staple part,
maybe not a podcast or, butsomething creative.
You know, I always talk aboutwanting to have greater autonomy
over my time is very importantfor me, yeah, um, and sometimes
working a nine-to to five justdoesn't give you that.
My daughter is getting older.
I'm thinking about, like, howam I spending time with her?
(10:08):
How am I setting an example forher?
You know, what will my legacybe?
Like a lot of deep questions,not, and I'm like on my way to
40.
Yeah, I was just gonna.
So, yeah, yeah, and so whoknows what this can be and what
it can lead to, but I'm lookingforward to finding out and, you
know, giving it a try.
Yeah, I do think there issomething about, like, our
episodes and the topics thatwe've chosen that are deeply
reflective as well, and so Icould see how that could like
(10:31):
open up, yeah, a lot of morequestions for you of like what
does my purpose?
What is what's?
the next stage of my life looklike correct in this way.
Correct, I'm still working onthat question.
Like it's a, it's a bigquestion for me.
Yeah, what is my purpose?
I don't know.
Sometimes I think it'sparenting, because, like, maybe
I do it well, like 60 percent ofthe time.
Yeah, but I don't know.
(10:52):
I don't know what my purpose isand like, I'm not afraid to
admit that, but I also feel likeI'm running out of time to find
out, which is interesting.
Do you think there are peopleout there that actually know
their purpose?
Though they do, I believe thereare.
Yeah, really, as to whetherthey're right or not is a
different story, but do theybelieve that they know?
I feel there are people who doknow, who believe that they know
.
Yeah, I don't know.
(11:12):
I think the idea of like findingyour purpose is this lure that
that can just drive you insane.
Do you think it's ever evolvingor that it's just not a thing?
And maybe, if you use anotherword outside of purpose, like
there's a weight to the wordpurpose?
Okay, I can see that you knowwhat I mean.
I can see that I don't know.
It's such a big endeavor tolike.
Ah, what is my purpose?
(11:34):
But I feel like some peopleorganically find it.
Some people, like always knowwhat they want to do and be and
they like live it out.
They do.
Do you want an example?
You, you always knew what youwanted to do and be, and you
stood in that.
I wanted to be a model.
There was always an, and whenMa told you like, listen you
(11:54):
needed to also have an education.
You picked this like right offthe bat.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Middle child.
I know, yeah, exactly, it'sdifferent, it's birth order.
Very important point.
What is the?
Speaker 3 (12:04):
eldest child most likely to do in life.
We should find out what theirparents want them to do oh, oh
yeah, 100, 100 or whatever youthink is like most pleasing to
your parents okay, yeah yeah, soyou're blue.
Oh, I'm blue.
Yeah, I'm blue.
I am blue and you're roomie.
I do whatever and you're roomie, I'll take it.
(12:24):
She's over the stage, she'slike listen leave me jacket,
please out of this.
Hey y'all, bye y'all.
The way she put her hand on meon, what is her name?
blue said let's get off thestage, off the stage child.
Yeah, now it's time.
No, the birth order makes adifference.
It does, and like that becauseyou kind of like conform as a
(12:45):
first child.
You like you're left withquestions when you get to a
stage in your life where you'relike what am I really meant to
to be, what am I really meant todo?
Speaker 1 (12:52):
so anyway, it's like a period of rediscovery it is,
and that's what you'rediscovering, and you know why,
too?
Speaker 3 (12:57):
because now parenting's a little easier for
me, for me and my husband.
With Leilani being older andshe has a lot more independence,
I have a bit more free time todiscover and think about me and
the things that I want, right,which is very different than
having spent 10 years likethinking about what she wants,
what's best for her right.
She's a lot more independentnow.
(13:18):
She makes her own meals.
You know she's walking homefrom school, so it's leaving me
with time to think about what Iwant to do and that's like right
on track.
That's actually really right ontrack.
Just putting on a little bit ofthat like therapist hat.
Okay, the first 10 years ofparenting you're really focused
in on parenting and your childand that's usually the time
(13:41):
where, like marriages andrelationships, their intimacy
suffer.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
And then, like you said, middle school, when they
have a little bit moreindependence, you start to get
to the space of like oh, theydon't need me to look after them
24 seven.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
They have a little bit of their own like life and
social life.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
They have their little friend group.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Yeah, so you don't got to be one of their little
friends, that's correct yeah.
And that's when you startthinking about oh wait, you look
up, what do I want to do now?
And you start focusing on yourrelationship, going on more
dates, yeah.
But you know what?
I'm gonna push that a littlefurther.
I don't think it's just aboutthe age of my daughter.
I think it's also a little bitof, dare I say, and for lack of
(14:22):
a better phrase, maybe I don'thave the phrase, but it's a
little bit of gender roles,because I'm not sure my husband
feels the same way, like I'm notsure he's like experiencing
this like halt in his identitydevelopment yeah.
I do not think so.
I think like he's always knownwhat he wants to do or be what,
even if that changes, I don'tfeel like he's ever been in a
(14:43):
stage where he questions that orfeels restricted in trying to
explore that because ofparenting.
Correct, correct, mm-hmm,correct.
Anyway, that's a whole othertopic.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Bold highlight underline yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Italics yeah, oh, uh-huh, yeah, but no, okay, I
feel you.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Interesting that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Interesting, interesting, we'll see how it
goes.
I mean, listen.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
I'm ready for the next 10 years of parenting and
what that's going to look like,and also of, like
self-redevelopment as well.
New challenges, new experiences.
I'm done, I'm done, yeah, Imean, I think, when I thought
about this podcast with you, um,I felt like it was this time to
rediscover our relationship assisters.
(15:25):
I had this like realizationvery recently.
Okay, after we decided to do apodcast and this is what
solidified, I was like oh, maybethis is why I chose to do
podcasts with you.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
I had this realization that I don't know at
what point do sisters becomedisconnected.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
I have clients who have sister relationships that
are similar to ours and verydivergent from ours.
Okay, but they're also indifferent age groups, correct?
So it made me start to think of.
Do our sibling dynamics startto like is this dynamic we have
now going to be the same dynamicwe have in 10, 15, 20 years?
(16:06):
Will time change that like?
look at our aunts and I'm justsaying, like things have changed
and there could be multiplereasons why, but I wonder if one
of those reasons is time andage and stage of life and stage
of life, kids, no kids, divorce,all those things, right, right,
and so I feel like this podcastis an opportunity for us to
(16:27):
intentionally stay connected,okay, okay, I think you're gonna
tell me you thought we weredisconnected because I was like
I don't know if I feel like weare connected now than we've
ever been.
I agree, yeah, I agree, but I Ithink this would really help to,
I don't know, bolster that insome way.
Okay, so that time and distanceand life stages doesn't draw us
apart.
I hear that because that isexactly what we are talking
(16:48):
about difference in life stages,and normalizing that versus
using it as something that, like, separates us I hear that.
I hear that, let's see, let'ssee.
I'm open to finding out andalso I don't know many caribbean
podcasters.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
I mean there are a few.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
I do know a few, to be honest, but like sister
Caribbean, like Caribbeansisters, I think that's
different.
I think we're a bit unique inthat sense.
Yeah, let's see, we're doing itfor the culture One time.
We're doing it for the culture,one time for the culture, two
times for the culture.
Oh, we got one and then two.
I feel like you should go oneand two, but anyway, okay, we
(17:26):
tried.
Our producer will do what hewill with that scene Dre Drizzy
In or out, he'll decide.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
We still recording Dre.
That's right.
Good, we're still on.
Okay, are you gonna take usinto the next fun segment?
I feel like you're more of theplaymaker between the two of us.
You're very fun.
Yeah, because I was allowed tobe before I came for seven years
(17:50):
.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Oh gosh no, that's what I was gonna say.
No, you're used to be fun forseven years and then something
in your life changed?
Speaker 3 (17:56):
definitely not what I was gonna say.
Like me, no, no, also not that.
And I like, like I thinkparenting sericed me up.
Yeah, and I talked to Dannyagain, my husband not so much,
but yeah, for me it did Mm-hmm,Took my fun bone away a little
bit.
I feel like we're gonna getthat funny bone back.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Funny or fun Fun bone Fun bone.
Not funny bone, you still haveyour funny.
Oh yeah, I'm funny.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
I'm just gonna take a little sippy sip.
You don't think I'm?
Speaker 2 (18:36):
funny.
I'm just sipping my um my tea.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
That's what we're gonna tell the people it's tea
good tea, good tea, good tea,okay so let's get into it, this
next segment we're gonna dosomething really fun get to know
you in a different way havethem.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Our listeners know us .
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Yes um, and this is gonna warm us up a little bit
for the episode yeah, so we'regonna play a fun little game of
who's most likely to, okay, andwe have like a list of questions
and we've both chosen questionsthat we don't know what each
other has chosen, but there is alikelihood that we've chosen
the same question which.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
I think is a testament.
If we did, we should get extrabonus points.
I feel like we should, so whileour producers get the pen and
paper for us, to do this littlegamey game perhaps we should
show them our little logo.
Oh yes, merch, coming soon.
What of gamey game?
Yeah, we gonna do.
Perhaps we should show them ourlittle logo.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Oh yes, uh-huh, merch coming soon, is it really?
Speaker 3 (19:28):
what's my camera?
This one, okay, that's mycamera, okay.
And I said and what?
Okay, okay, yeah, you know whatI have to remember?
Podcast.
Obviously it's a podcast.
I mean, maybe in 10 years itmight be a movie or a TV show
(19:50):
Come on somebody, not Oprah, no,I mean like a TV show, like a
sit-down talk show.
Actually it's a talk show.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Yeah, talk show is different than TV show, that's
where things got a littleconfusing.
All right, so who?
I'll go first because I'm themiddle child Alright.
Who's most likely to?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
cry during a sad movie.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Alright, 3, 2, 1.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Definitely me.
You are a crier, I am 100% acrier.
I'm steel on the outside,marshmallow on the inside.
Is that the analogy?
I'm pretty sure Iron clad onthe outside Don't fuck with me.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
But on the inside boop boop.
Cry me a river.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
I'll be crying.
What's the saddest movie you'veever seen?
Do you even know?
Actually the saddest movie I'veever seen was Beaches with
Bette Midler.
Really really sad.
Even know what kind of movieyou've ever seen.
The saddest movie I've everseen was um beaches with bet
middler.
Really really sad movie.
Almost said funny.
Oh my god, really sad movie uh,she so it was like two friends,
(20:56):
different walks of life.
One was really rich, one waslike from you know, from an
urban area, not so well off.
But the one who wasn't so welloff was a musician, like a
struggling musician.
She liked to sing excellentvoice, performed at bars and all
that good stuff.
The other friend was likereally affluent, come from a
family where they always incountry clubs and all the things
Unlikely friends, theirfamilies didn't really know, yep
(21:17):
, and the rich one got cancerand died.
Oh no, I think she actually hada daughter as well and left the
daughter with the best friend.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, real sad, I didn't think
that I would get that correct.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
So someone did die someone did die.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
That's unfortunate.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Yeah, best friend died rich one, I'm sorry, yeah,
okay, I'm gonna go next.
I bawled, okay, it's.
It's sad.
Okay, question number two speedround.
Okay, who's most likely toforget a birthday?
Speaker 1 (21:46):
okay, don't feel attacked okay, do you just just
write the answer down, uh-huh,and we're gonna say three two,
one, let's go okay.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
So it says, d are we in agreement?
Yeah, what happened to thatcalendar, sis?
Listen, what happened to thatcalendar?
That is another.
What happened to that calendar,sis?
That is another level ofadulting.
It's putting birthdays on theGoogle calendar.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
So let me tell you something I got that one.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
That one is me.
I'm the one sharing all thebirthday invites with Denny, his
great grandmother.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
I got everything.
Oh, you have everybody.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
I got the years I got the everything the ages.
Okay, just the years.
We the ages.
Okay, just the years.
We'll do the math.
Okay, I do the math, but I dohave the years I do.
And I say, hey, babe, today isso-and-so birthday, text him,
call him, and he goes.
Okay, thanks, literally I gotit.
You hold on the household,listen, I do and listen, I put
like everything Dentistsappointments, doctor visits,
(22:40):
school activities, it'severything, date nights, every
fucking thing.
I got it in the calendar, okaycool so I'm most likely to
forget a birthday.
Got it, thank you.
Why is that, daniel, listen,are you not december?
Like 20 something?
You're in december, uh-huh likeyou're jan 5 january.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I got it okay, at least I got your month,
something you said I you saidsomething it's exact or nothing.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
It's October or nothing for those of you
listening.
I'm a Libra and I'm a Capricorn, the best sign of all time
debatable.
I was just.
I was just with your mama.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Capricorn okay so my question for you is who's most
likely to show up late?
Speaker 3 (23:33):
but still, look cute, I could do that one with my
eyes closed and I mean write thename.
Three, two, one it's me, it'syou, it's you, and that's
exactly how you're gonna show uptoo.
Oh hi, I'm here.
I made it, it's me, myapologies.
La traffic Give me the shouldershimmy.
(23:53):
That shimmy turned out to be,oh my God, who's most likely to
laugh at the worst time?
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
And if this wasn't an attack, Idon't know what is Three this
doesn't feel equitable.
Two, one I try my best, you doit's me again.
(24:16):
I know it's you, but like Ican't even think of a moment
where you did it.
But I just know it's you Huh.
I can't think of a moment whereyou laughed at the wrong time.
I don't know about you.
I guess other things about yourpersonality tells me that Dre,
is it Danielle or no?
Okay, he's producing Yay or nay.
(24:36):
Dre, he can't answer.
Okay, karen, karen, why Karen?
I know, karen.
I know we love Uh-huh, baby.
Uh-huh, uh-huh, what?
Speaker 2 (24:46):
was the question.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Who's most likely to laugh at the worst time?
That's right.
She said that's my baby.
She threw me jesus, I told you.
She lifted me up out of thischair, laid me down and let the
bus just settle.
Settle.
Wow, because it's true.
Okay, okay, I got you on thisone.
I got you on this one.
Okay, it's gonna be bad.
I got you on this one.
Hold on, just let me.
I'm finding it, oh, okay.
(25:19):
I guess it's like the calendarthing.
Huh, okay, okay, um, who's mostlikely to plan the entire
itinerary down to the minute?
Let's just talk about thispodcast planning for a second,
okay um who's most likely toplan the podcast down to the
minute.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Interested, let me see, let me make sure I spell
the name correct this time.
Three, two one.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
It's you, it's me, it's me.
But you know what the funnypart of that is?
You're probably I'm most, I'mthe most nervous.
I find it not to admit it, butI am the most nervous here right
now.
Yeah, uh-huh, and I talk topeople every day.
I mean, I don't like talk likean interview style but I talk to
people randomly Mm-mm-mm.
(26:18):
Oh, you said no thank you totalking to people randomly.
See that I don't do people.
I love y'all but I don't dopeople.
Okay, you know what funny storyeveryone that I know I've met
through someone else or at avery like rudimentary social
setting, like work, for example.
When I say social, like orprofessional setting like work,
for example, when I say sociallike a professional setting like
work, or a class likeuniversity for example.
Structure, structure, that's theword I'm looking for.
(26:39):
I don't randomly talk to people.
No, no, zero, it's a whole zerofor me.
Wow, no, my trust won't let me.
So you're an introvert at heart.
That's what I think too, butlike I think you know, maybe no,
I think I'm an extrovertedintrovert I don't know if I
could believe that, and I thinkthe producers are looking at you
(27:01):
really I thought I was so funnyI was talking to.
Actually, I went to a speechrecently and this lady was
saying introverts and extrovertsare not just about people who
like people and people who don'tlike people.
Yes, it's about what energizesthe individual and what drains
them right so introverts areenergized in solitude and
(27:27):
extroverts are are energizeduh.
I'm in the solitude, that's me.
So you're confirming that youare an introvert.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
I'm an extroverted introvert.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Yeah, oh, that's where we landed.
That's exactly where I landed.
Where did you land?
Come on up, come on up, put onthose wings.
You know, I think we'll circleback, circle back.
Let's put a pin pin in that.
Uh huh, we'll workshop it.
Corporate talk, talk.
Corporate speak.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
speak man yep all right, okay.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
Um man, how many questions are we doing?
How many do you have?
I'm done asking my questions.
We're supposed to have five.
I actually cheated and I havesix, but you should have five
you have okay, so none of us didthe assignment correctly.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Oh my god oh my god, let me just ask mine.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
I'll ask mine.
I'll ask mine.
I got you.
Who's most likely to ghostsomeone and pretend nothing
happened?
Are you done writing you justrecycling paper?
No, oh, oh, that's why you gotthat doctorate, huh, okay, I'm
(28:34):
gonna recycle, I'm gonna recycle.
What's the rule about the I'sand the E's?
It's Z-I.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
No, no, not how they spell your name.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
The grammatic oh, why , you fucking need to spell that
out.
None of our names.
Okay, fine, just go ahead andcatch me on camera, not knowing
how to spell with my doctorate.
Go ahead.
Okay, let's go.
Three, two, one, neither, ohyou, oh, definitely me.
Oh, 100%.
And I got a funny story for ittoo oh, this is you did I spell
(29:04):
neither correct it doesn't lookright before e, except after c,
so that's right.
Right, it's wrong.
Right I before e, except afterC.
So that's wrong.
Right, dre, it's wrong, orright I before E, except after C
.
And Okay, now we gotta Google.
Now we gotta Google.
Okay producers, how do youspell?
Neither Uh-huh.
That's correct.
It's correct.
Use it, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (29:25):
I before E except after C, that's an extra point.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
I don't know who was point-taking.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
That's point.
I don't know who was pointtaken.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
That's correct, okay, okay, great.
I'm glad we clarified from theproducers that I spelled neither
correctly, but apparently I wasstill wrong, because it's you
yeah, you would go someone.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Oh, yeah, I would 100% close people oh my god see,
that's why you didn't datearound the dating pods.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
I didn't what.
You didn't date when we had umdating app sorry, because we
didn't go to high school at thesame time, so you're a little
bit um older.
Okay, I don't even think datingapps existed, okay, when you
were, you know, looking for aloved one.
Disrespect, like how leilaniasked me if there was color when
I was growing up.
She thought I was like raisedin black and white, uh-huh,
(30:05):
uh-huh.
Like we couldn't see nothinglike you could just see black
and white uh-huh, uh-huh.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
Like when she says back in my day she said in my
day, because she said the tv wasin black and white, so you must
have seen black and white.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
Uh-huh, anyway, my funny story.
It's not really that funny, butand I hope so.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Who did you go?
Speaker 3 (30:27):
I'll tell you oh okay , girl, oh dog is it your?
dad one time, what?
No, you didn't go to your dad,no, okay, great, so okay.
This is not for this episode ofthe pod, let's keep going.
Planning a trip to saint thomasin the us virgin islands?
Stay in comfort and style atthe city landing modern airbnb
(30:51):
units just steps from shops,dining and the ferry terminal.
Ditch the overpriced hotels.
Enjoy better rates andinclusive weekly and monthly
stay discounts.
With only two units available,spots fill up fast, so book your
home away from home.
Island escape today atthecitylandingcom the.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
City.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
Landing where comfort meets convenience.
Book your stay atthecitylandingcom.
So there was this time, rightwhen Danny and I had taken a
break and I was so frustrated, Istarted talking to an ex of
mine okay, and we had madethat's okay, it'll make the part
.
I ain't saying nobody's nameand I ain't saying where they
live or nothing.
So we had made plans to likemeet each other in miami.
(31:37):
I was like, okay, cool, Ialready had a flight that I
could like change a flight andgo right, because I was going
somewhere else already, I think,and maybe I missed my flight or
something had a flight creditand I was like, okay, well, you
know what we'll go to, we'llmeet in miami, he'll do the
hotel, because he had like hoteldeals for something.
Girl, I got nervous, you didnot meet that man in Miami.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
No, I didn't.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
But wait, wait, I didn't make him buy the hotel or
nothing.
Wait, we didn't go like thatfar.
But what I did was I ended uplike picking a fight and like I
blocked it Because you didn'twant to go to Miami.
No, I was like is this man goingto touch me Like I have to like
Sex by the hand?
Uh-uh, you're like is thisMiami trip a promise in
something I'm not ready to give?
(32:14):
Yeah, so let me pick a fightand block him.
Oh yeah, I did, girl, becauseyou didn't want to communicate.
I mean we're still friends,don't get me wrong.
But like after a while Iunblocked him and like they just
said, yeah, it wasn't happening, no problems, but let me just,
let's go back, you go back,let's go back, unpack it.
You're on a break with your nowhusband.
(32:34):
yes, then, boyfriend and you hitup an ex and we were always
friends right so like I didn'tgo like it was not helping, not
helping not helping, okay, sorryyeah, let's not clarify that an
ex is actually a friend theentire time.
I'm sorry, pause, wait.
We don't have, we're notfriends, but we don't friends
with our exes.
Okay, that's not a rule ofthumb.
(32:55):
Hold on, wait, wait a minute.
I mean, I'm not saying likeeveryone should be, but like
nothing was wrong with me andthis ex why we couldn't be
friends.
Well, you went to the reason you, it's a problem.
Here is the reason everyonesays you shouldn't be friends
with your exes.
Oh, okay, oh, I see, you see,because you hit him up, I guess,
yeah, well, yeah, okay,whatever, yeah, I'll take that
(33:19):
one.
And not only did you hit him up, you said let's go to miami.
Well, no, it wasn't my idea, itwas just that you know, it was
convenient, we're due for avacation.
I said what I said.
And that concludes the get intono game.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
No, it's not.
Speaker 3 (33:37):
No, it's not.
I still have another question,and it's going to throw you
under the bus too.
Let me get it.
Oh, no, it ain't.
It's in good Actually, it's twogood questions actually.
I do have, okay, and one ofthem is really good for you,
danielle.
Yeah, it's in your favor, youready.
Best advice.
I give the best advice.
Oh shit, wait, I have some ofthis, three more.
Okay, we missed Okay.
(33:58):
Okay, girl, let's go.
Who's most likely to give thebest advice?
It's me.
Do we need to write it down?
Oh really, I mean it might beyou, because you evolved.
I, I like to think, as aspecies, we have all evolved,
but do you mean enlightened?
That's not a bit culty, oh tosay enlightened?
(34:22):
Oh no, doesn't that sound likeit does?
Speaker 1 (34:25):
it does sound a little culty.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
I agree, yeah, but I mean involved is just a word I
use loosely, really.
Yes, we have all involved insome way, some form, but yeah, I
think that you have most, yeah,I mean of the sibling trio yeah
of course, I think it's justbecause of all the things you
learn as you as a therapist okay, yeah, yeah, if I was gonna say
in life I was like no, this isbeyond life yeah, I.
(34:49):
I agree with that.
Okay, who's most likely to plana surprise party?
You know, let me think about it, let me think about it.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
You ain't got to think, let me.
Speaker 3 (35:02):
Okay, okay, okay.
Yes, yes, it is oh many apeople have had surprise parties
for me, many a people.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Okay, do you want to name them?
Do you want reviews?
Speaker 3 (35:11):
We're not going to name them.
Okay, naming no names?
Yeah, you are good.
I like a good party.
I think that you're very caringabout people to really think
about what they would like fortheir party.
Yes, and you really personalizethe party and birthdays too.
I feel like birthdays should becelebrated.
They should be special, Like ifI was a millionaire, I would
celebrate everything andeveryone If you were a
(35:32):
millionaire.
I cannot wait to be celebrated.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Oh see, See what I mean.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
This is gonna be good See what.
I mean, that's why you have tobecome a millionaire.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
now I feel like you're on track for all of us.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Uh-uh, uh-uh, you're on track for all of us, huh.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
Yeah.
Mm-hmm we waiting on you girl,can we waiting?
Speaker 3 (35:53):
eh, that's what I said, listen, and that's why, as
a middle child, uh-huh You'regoing to be the millionaire.
We have back pains, middlemillionaire, yeah, back pain,
mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Middle children we feel it, mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
Because we carry the siblings, we do last one.
Okay, go ahead.
Who's most likely to chair theother up?
I'm asking you that directly,you don't have to write that
down.
Let me see what you say um, Idon't know, I feel like we, we
kind of like I don't know chaireach up, chair each other up
differently.
I don't know, I think we bothare.
We could chair each other up.
(36:37):
We could turn the day around indifferent ways, I think so.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Yeah, okay, cool, alright what's next on the
docket?
Speaker 3 (36:47):
well, that now concludes the getting to know
you game and we're gonna do alittle over to the main topic.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
Okay, All right.
So this segment we're going tobe talking about all the things
that make us want to like giveour adulting card back.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
Right back Like stand in line.
You know how sometimes youdon't want to stand in line
because it's like, oh, this lineis way too long, I'll just keep
the item.
I would stand in line.
Speaker 3 (37:13):
You know how sometimes you don't want to
stand in line because it's like,oh, this line's way too long,
I'll just keep the item.
I would stand in line, I wouldstand in line and I am calling
customer service while I am onthat line.
You know how, back in the day Idon't know that you used to do
this you'd go to the club,uh-huh, and you actually had to
get blankets out of your car.
You're holding it and getblankets.
Oh god, no, no, what we used todo is we used because you were
going without a jacket in thecold, like, oh yeah, we did that
(37:34):
too, uh-huh, and you know it'sa lot colder in england oh yeah,
you went to.
Oh yeah I would stand in line inthe cold to give my adult card
back.
Really, yeah, me too.
I mean most days, to be honest,yeah, and I'm sure, if there's
like a, a service where it'slike you give it back for 30
days and sign me up, you know Iwould like a vacation from
(37:56):
adulting.
I hear that.
I hear that I would do that.
Should we start that business?
We should.
Yeah, we're gonna go about it.
Let's circle back.
Let's circle back.
Let's circle back.
Stick a pin, yeah yeah, I don'tknow.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
I think yes, as we're talking about growing up and
getting older, I'm curious, likeis?
Speaker 3 (38:16):
adulthood what you thought it would be?
Oh, that's a big question.
Um, I don't know if I was everlike fully prepared for
adulthood, like I knew I wantedto be an adult, because I think
that it was romanticized, or atleast we romanticized it as
children like, oh, all thisfreedom and yes, our parents
(38:37):
told us freedom came withresponsibility.
I don't think we like fullyappreciated that.
But, boy oh boy, a lot ofresponsibility.
So, to answer your question,I'm not sure and I don't think
you could fully prepare for it?
No, I don't think so, but Ithink that there are things that
you can do, and maybe I'msaying this as an optimist
(39:00):
Hindsight, yes, hindsight 2020,right, but also, too, maybe
because I feel like that's whatI do as a parent At least,
that's what I'm trying to do asa parent like to get Leilani
ready, but I don't know.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
I don't know, could you ever because times change
right Like things change Exactly.
What you think you need toprepare to be an adult.
Yes, when they finally become,when you finally become an adult
, it's like those same lessonshit differently applicable and
relevant yeah, like who wouldhave thought, you know, we
should have been actually havinglike a savings account, since
(39:35):
we were two.
Oh, god, yeah who knew we had tobuy like a home, save when we
were in the womb.
Basically, we should have beenbuying it in our mother's tummy.
That hit, that hit.
Who could have prepared us forthat?
Nobody, girl.
The absolute ghetto Hood.
I hear that.
(39:56):
I hear that Like.
Was there an exact moment whenyou thought like yeah, I'm an
adult now?
Like when, when, having likeyeah Were you an adult?
When I was like uh-huh, I amnow an adult, when I was like uh
, huh, I am now an adult so Imoved to from.
(40:18):
St Lucia to California at 16 andthat felt like a pretty adult
move.
But I think what really hit itfor me you're gonna laugh at me.
I had a job.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
I had a job too, yeah yeah, I had a job too exactly
uh at this like water park, oh,lifeguard lifeguard I do
Speaker 3 (40:39):
yes, and I got my first paycheck and I called my
mom and I said I'm good.
Uh yeah, you thought-thought, Ithought.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
I was an adult.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
Was I an adult?
Speaker 3 (40:54):
No, but I got my first paycheck and I said oh no,
I got it, I got it.
I got it.
What?
Let me pay your mortgage, mama.
I got you.
Put it in the bank mama, yeah,I got you.
I hear.
(41:14):
That's when I thought, and Iwas an adult.
And then when I really feltlike an adult, taxes, taxes, not
the taxes, not the taxes, notthe taxes.
Well, so I think, if I want toanswer that question sorry, it's
just about taxes.
That's why, but like I thinkthe moment I knew like I was an
adult is when I figured out howto like lessen my taxes, like
(41:38):
knowing that you got to reduceyour taxable income Correct,
reduce your taxable income,right, and then that's going to
like reduce your taxable at theend of the year.
Hmm, yes, oh, I see it doesn'tmean making less.
Yes, it year.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Yes, oh, I mean making less, it makes a taxable
portion of what you make lessabsolutely absolutely, that's
the moment.
Speaker 3 (41:56):
Okay, shit's greek.
Follow me on this.
Oh, okay, you remember.
Yeah, is this the credit card?
Oh, it's the business expense awrite-off.
That's the one.
A write-off, yes, when davidwas like write-off, it's a
write-off, it's fine, it's awrite-off.
Yeah, that's what I.
I thought adulting would belike you know what I mean like
it's okay okay it's a write-offright you got it.
Speaker 2 (42:18):
Yeah, that's fine no, it ain't, no, no it ain't okay.
Speaker 3 (42:21):
but here's another example of when I realized you
know what I really would like togive my adult card back.
Okay, you grew up with pets,okay.
Yeah, and you're like oh, mygosh pets, I want one when.
I'm an adult and they wereoutside.
When we grew up they wereoutside, yeah, and now they're
inside, uh-huh.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
Uh-huh, and then you go to the vet.
Speaker 3 (42:42):
Uh-oh, uh-oh, in the Caribbean we the dog's sick.
Yeah, okay, when it needs to bespayed.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
Now we have a pet insurance.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
Oh okay, yeah, and then I don't remember paying a
vet bill when I was younger,obviously cause I didn't pay the
vet bill yeah.
But I didn't know yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
You didn't know, you didn't know when you see the
$300, but your co-pay is like 20.
Speaker 3 (43:07):
See, that's why we don't do pets.
Leilani wants a dog, she wantsa fish, she wants a hamster.
It's a no in the house, I'msorry.
We are each other's pets, weare enough.
I see that Style that back.
We are enough responsibilityfor each other.
Yes, yes, agreed, don't need nomore pets.
(43:28):
No, it's in the one of the pets.
Yeah, agreed, don't need nomore pets.
No, it's in the one the petsfor us anyway.
Parallel parking was another.
I'm really good at that, okay,yeah, and reverse parking was
hard too at first for me I'mlying, I'm good at reverse
parking, parallel parking, Iwing it.
Yeah, you wing it, I wing it,but I'm really good at reverse
parking okay yeah, so youreverse park I To go in from the
(43:50):
front.
I try to avoid parking Hazardlights.
You know Like quick in and out,just stop the vehicle wherever
it is Just drop it off, yeah,and just go Ballet.
Or is it ballet?
I knew it, I knew it.
Not the California in youBallet?
Okay, I'm way too broke forballet, let's be honest.
(44:11):
Okay, I'm just kidding, I'mjust kidding, I'm way too broke
for ballet, let's be honest.
Yeah, I hear that.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
I hear that let's be very honest about that.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
Okay, ooh, I have one .
Okay, what is it like to seeothers around you grow up?
So I feel like that's part oflike adulting is realizing
you're not the only one gettingolder.
Yes, like adulting is realizingyou're not the only one getting
older.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, and as afirst born, I have had that
(44:38):
experience twice over.
Twice over, maybe three times,I'll say, because I have a
daughter as well.
Oh, um, but watching you anddre grow has been very
interesting for me, yeah, veryinteresting.
Like you're still babies.
What do what?
What do you mean?
You got a job and you, you gota wife, and there are things,
(45:00):
yeah, there are things.
I mean it was way too much forme.
It was, it wasn't you gotmarried last year.
Yes, there was a wedding yeahshe's a child, a child bride.
Yeah, okay, well that too.
I didn't go that far, but I seeI did look youthful, if I do say
so myself, I aged well, yeah,but it's interesting.
(45:20):
I think you want the best foryour siblings.
I'm going to use you guys as anexample, as my example, because
I want the best for you and thethings that I want to impart on
you that you would dodifferently, that I wish I had
done differently, and I hopethat you Maybe you see that or
maybe you listen If I ever shareit or talk to you.
But it's very interestingBecause it also ages.
(45:41):
You too, like watching othersgrow older.
Now you feel a little old.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
You feel old, like your knees hurt.
Speaker 3 (45:49):
She took the mickey.
You legit took the mickey.
You legit took the mickey.
You took the piss, uh-huh.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
But what's funny is my knees hurt, oh and you out
here calling me girl, my kneesdo not hurt, my knees are just
fine, can you do?
Speaker 3 (46:04):
the magni stallion.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Like, just like oh, I can, don't, don't, you can't do
it right now, but I can.
Okay, I believe you, I'll takeyour word for it, good exactly
you can't them it right now, butI can.
Speaker 3 (46:11):
Okay, I believe you, I'll take your word for it.
Good, good, exactly, you can.
Them knees don't work, oh, andyour ankles definitely don't
work.
Okay, listen, I fell, I fell.
That's what she keeps saying.
Y'all, I took a tumble.
It's not about age.
You're going to give them howyou tumbled.
My dog was involved.
(46:34):
We were frolicking you wereroughhousing with your dog, and
she just, and then I just, andthen now I'm so not about age, I
got one for you.
I got one for you.
What's one thing you thoughtadults just knew how to do and
(46:58):
it turns out they absolutely donot.
Okay, okay yeah, okay give it tome I don't know if this is like
answering the question fullyand you may not know this
reference fully, because thismight be I'm sure this exists in
different school systems, but Idon't remember ever this
existing in the Caribbean schoolsystem.
Okay, 504 plans is not the sameas a 501k.
(47:23):
Is that even 501k?
Don't know those.
I don't know the American likethat's an educational plan when
you need like accommodationswithin school.
You don't even know what I wasgoing to say.
I was going to say I don't knowthe American tax system and
their forms.
I didn't know.
I didn't know I had no idea,but did you?
realize I still got it wrong,because it's a 401k, it's not a
(47:45):
501k uh, oh, if you say 401k,then it's, but I thought 401k
was like a 504 plan, like we gotaccommodations.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
No.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
No, okay, they're very different things.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
But what is a 504?
That's the accommodations inthe school system.
Oh okay, I got you.
No, I didn't know about that.
So that's one of the things youthought like.
I just thought we like it.
I just I thought everything wasfigured out for us around
retirement.
Oh so we are talking aboutfinances.
Bitch, you are confusing thefuck out of me you said we are
(48:23):
talking about finances.
I just didn't remember the nameof the whole finance situation.
Okay, oh, so you're comparingthe 504 to the 401k, gotcha?
Okay, I'm on the same page withyou now got it okay?
Oh, I see okay because you knowlike the schools take care of
your 504 plan like you're likegot you assessed, got you.
I just thought retirement waslike got you.
That's how I you know what.
(48:46):
I think we share something here, not so much about the forms,
the piece about retirement, likeI had never thought about
retirement savings until maybethree or four years ago I'm
almost ashamed to admit that,but yeah, never thought about it
.
I mean, I barely paid a checkto paycheck.
And now you want me to thinkabout after I no longer get
paychecks I still need to.
You are.
(49:06):
You are onto something.
It's interesting.
Yeah, the concept of retirementsavings has always been like an
aloof concept to me, neverthought about it, never had to,
and I guess that's part ofliving in your own privilege and
in your own bubble too.
But, girl, I'll be saving, I'llbe saving for that retirement.
Look at you, I'll be trying alittle something.
Okay, put it away.
Gotta, gotta try.
(49:26):
If your life had a warninglabel oh gosh like a shampoo
bottle?
I don't, uh huh.
What would it say?
Oh boy, okay, if my life had awarning label like a shampoo
bottle, what would it say, girl?
(49:48):
I don't know if I would seethis on a warning bottle, but it
would say fuck around and foundout.
I fucked around and found outand found out.
Is that a warning?
I don't know.
I got a sticker.
I don't know if it's a warning.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Mine would just say doing thebest I can, oh, take it as I can
just doing the best I can.
(50:11):
One hundo, that's absolutelytrue.
Okay, what you got?
I asked a couple girl.
You ain't got none, I ain't gotnone, but but wait, wait wait,
I do want to say somethingbecause I remembered I wanted to
mention this around, liketalking about growing up and
growing older and just thephenomenon of adulting.
My clients, different ages, notsharing anything that's
(50:35):
identifiable.
But I was sitting and I waslistening and I was just
thinking about wow, we all havethis as adults, this universal
experience of feeling like we'renot adulted enough.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, no matter theage and what we've done, we're
not adult enough.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, no matter theage and what we've done, we're
not Correct.
Oh yeah, and that is anidentifiable experience for me
(50:57):
personally yeah, Like we shouldhave been further ahead.
Yeah, Like we haven't met thismilestone yet.
I'm turning 50.
I'm turning 30.
I'm turning 60.
I'm turning 40.
And what should I have donebefore I turn this specific age?
It's just, and there are thingsthat I wish I had done
differently, like all of that,yeah, yeah, it's almost like
(51:18):
it's like a mishmash of like Iwish I would have, like, almost
like regret, but also like Ifeel like I'm behind, and it's
like behind by whose plan?
yeah, but if we all feel behind,like if we all feel, then we
must be right, then we'resupposed to be.
Yeah, I don't know something.
Is that easier to believe forme than other days?
That's fair, honestly, somedays it's easier to believe than
(51:38):
that's absolutely fair I justthink it's so interesting that
we are all going through thislike I should have done.
I should have known that Ishould have done this and this
and the struggles are, so wethink we have unique struggles
and a lot of us do have uniquestruggles, but a lot of times we
have very similar struggles.
I'm glad you said that becauseyou know.
You know how I figured that out.
(52:00):
Social media, yes, like I hateto use the phrase like me too,
because I don't mean it in theway like other, of course, right
, but like I watch a lot ofsocial media videos and I go,
huh, that's me right there.
Like it's not just me, mm-hmm,yeah, about a lot of things,
about marriage I'm talking aboutlike marriage content, finance
content, mm-hmm, just gettingolder, content Like Social media
(52:24):
has really opened up my eyes tolike realizing like I'm not
alone on a lot of things.
Yes, it's a double-edged sword,but for the most part, I do
think that is like one of thebenefits of social media is that
you kind of know.
Hey, we're literally all tryingto figure this shit out.
We are all trying to figure itout and you know who else was
trying to figure it out?
Our parents?
We thought they knew.
Speaker 2 (52:51):
We had them on a pedestal.
Speaker 3 (52:51):
Yes, we thought they knew, like I look at where like
ma was when she was 36 and thethings that to me she had
achieved and had.
She was a boss woman.
I mean, she still is a bosswoman, but we didn't know the
ins and outs of that yeah,popcorn and pop culture yes,
what have you been?
Watching what's going like,what's happening in the world,
(53:13):
or in the movies, tv shows,whatever it might be, let's talk
about it.
Did I or did I not last week goto watch sinners?
Speaker 1 (53:27):
Everyone's watching sinners.
And you convinced me and I went, or I convinced you ended up
watching.
Speaker 3 (53:33):
Yeah, there's a lot of things about that.
First of all, I had no ideaabout the vampire themes.
I had seen nothing.
Oh, I just did that.
I find man.
Uh huh, uh huh.
Speaker 1 (53:44):
He was in there.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (53:55):
She is watching me right now, think about oh, my
husband was right next to me inthe cinema too.
My wife too.
That man is could get it.
But oh, and I, oh, okay, all Isaid was he's fine, my apologies
, I just knew he was in it andyou know it was about at least I
thought it was about like ourstory, like a little bit of our
ancestral story or something youknow.
Oh, my, oh, my God.
So great, but I should haveknown.
Cause tell me why and we can cutthis piece if we want to, but
(54:15):
tell me why.
There was a whole heap of whitepeople Girl.
I was like, oh, you didn'tthink that white people made the
cut?
Speaker 2 (54:23):
I just thought like, oh my God thought like oh my god
, they really are here to learnabout our history and learn
about our story.
Speaker 3 (54:28):
Oh, in the movie theater, in the theater, like
attending, like watching themovie, there was a little like
weird well, well it was.
But then I was like, oh okay,we're a little progressive here
in canada, not them wanted toknow about our story and what we
, where we come from.
Uh-uh, they were there for themvampires.
They were there for themvampires.
That's my favorite.
(54:50):
Listen, I was not prepared forsinners, so my wife sent me this
like DM, cause she knew I wasthinking about watching sinners,
and she said, hey, babe, youcan watch it because it's
scaredy cat approved and there'sthis like whole tiktok trend,
letting scaredy cats, fellowscaredy cats, know this is good
(55:10):
to watch.
You're going to be.
There are no jump scares.
This and this and this is fine.
Okay, the first 20 minutes, 10minutes, however many minutes,
there are a few jump scares.
Spoiler alert, because we'regoing to be talking about the
things right.
Speaker 1 (55:24):
Oh yes, if you don't want to talk about it, you got
over this skip.
Speaker 3 (55:27):
Do what you need to do, yeah, but let me tell you
the beginning got some jumpscares.
They, they do.
I mean, just like what was hisname?
Um, I don't know names.
Oh, I thought you okay girl Imade some notes.
I got some notes girl, I don'tknow names but um no no, too
many jumps it was like, honestly, I guess, for me this, the
shock was like I had no idea, Idid not know.
(55:49):
I thought we were likecelebrating our musical history
like our ancestors, a good storyor something.
It wasn't that.
It was all about these damnvampires, yeah, but no, it was a
no for me.
I covered my eyes like 90% ofthe movie oh, yeah, okay, again,
yeah, okay, again.
Percentages are a littleinflated, but you get the point.
You didn't go to school for math, it's fine, 50% no, but it's
(56:13):
scary.
And I didn't expect that.
I did not expect the vampirething, and you know, denny
figured it out early, though hewas like, oh, why is the guy
smoking?
Because, remember, when hecomes to the door asking for
their help in the village, hewas smoking, like his skin was
smoking.
I didn't see that.
Yes, it's because.
Then he said it's because theymust have thrown something on
(56:35):
him or the sun was coming up.
The sun was still up, so he wasstill burning.
You remember when the oh cameto ask for help?
When he came to ask for help,he's like listen, take my money,
whatever.
Oh, and he wanted to get out ofthe sun, so he went went into
the house.
Speaker 1 (56:46):
That's correct and, of course, when he went in the
home.
Speaker 3 (56:48):
He killed the guy on the first night and they waited
until sundown to leave.
Yes, they were like.
The guy on the horse was likelisten, the sun's going down.
Basically we got to get out ofhere and he left.
But the smoking told Dennyuh-huh, something's happening.
And when she walked in the andno one was answering, I was like
uh-uh.
That's not what I signed up foryeah, take me out of here.
Speaker 1 (57:09):
I don't want to be here.
I think it's cool to thinkabout yes, there were vampires
in the movies, but there weredefinitely a lot of like
historical ancestral.
Yes, references.
Speaker 3 (57:20):
Yes within it.
That was really cool.
I didn't think about like musicbeing this like power to like
open up this other realm.
I mean it was really great likeproduction and I know that the
there's a lot of intentionalityabout how it was filmed and all
of it and the irish themes aswell.
Speaker 2 (57:38):
That was also intentional, because they
apparently have like notapparently, but they have like
colonization they?
Speaker 3 (57:44):
what colonization they experience, correct?
Yes, they experiencecolonization, correct?
Yeah, that's what I was gonnasay.
Speaker 1 (57:49):
So they understand what it's like to have their
land stolen from them, yeah,religion forced upon them,
things like that, and so I thinkthat was like really cool
reminders, and not even justreminders, but a history lesson.
Speaker 3 (57:59):
Honestly, because like we didn't grow up, you know
, in this vampire culture, yeah,not the vampire culture.
Oh, I mean in America.
Oh sorry, okay, my apologies.
Okay, you're stuck on thevampires.
Speaker 2 (58:14):
Honestly, that's not what I was.
Speaker 3 (58:15):
I didn't go after that.
I would never have gone,because I don't do thrillers.
I don't do not anymore.
Speaker 1 (58:19):
What did you think it was?
Speaker 3 (58:21):
I told you I thought it was like a historic piece.
Speaker 1 (58:23):
Oh, we're going to learn about our music history.
I should have told you.
Speaker 3 (58:26):
Yeah.
My apologies, I did not know, Ihad like honestly no idea, had
not watched a trailer.
Okay, so what would you rate itoverall?
What would you rate?
Speaker 1 (58:35):
it.
Oh, it was a 10 out of 10.
Absolutely 10 out of 10.
Speaker 3 (58:37):
Even without me knowing that it was.
Speaker 1 (58:38):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (58:40):
Even though it was scary for me a little bit.
The audio, the soundtrack, thestorytelling, the editing as
well was really good.
The character development alittle bit Like if you think
about that, what else?
Even because I watched it inIMAX so I had like a full like
experience of it.
(59:00):
Yeah, what he intended it to be, the producer guy, what he
intended it to be, it was reallygood.
The audio was good, the visualswere good.
Speaker 2 (59:09):
Sometimes, it was wide and sometimes it was square
for me.
Speaker 3 (59:10):
I don't know if anyone else filmed it on two
different um thingamajigs, ohokay, I thought that was like
imax ish type of thing.
I don't know.
Anyway, but yeah, it was reallygood.
I rated a 10 out of 10 and I'llbe interested to see what
happens come award season.
I don't know if it's beingsubmitted for awards, yeah, yeah
, but I'd be interested to seewhat happens.
Yeah, award season was reallygood.
I enjoyed it.
I would rate it like an eightout of 10.
(59:32):
Ooh, why the loss of two points?
Loss of two points because it'smaybe because it's not the type
of genre I would traditionallyleave the theater being like, oh
my gosh, I love this Justbecause of the genre.
Okay, I'm watching it becauseof the historical like impact
and the hype a little bit thehype around it.
(59:55):
And it was produced well and itwas interesting, but it wasn't
necessarily like something thatwas that left me because of the
genre, not because of like themovie itself going.
I'm going to remember this forlife.
So it lost, like the two points, because of your preference.
Yes, yeah, I hear that alright,so we've come to the end of our
(01:00:18):
episode, our first episode, notjust the episode our first
episode.
Really proud of you, reallyproud of me, really proud of us
we did do it.
Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
come on on A-Gang.
Oh, by the way, that stands foradulthood gang.
Speaker 3 (01:00:32):
So welcome, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, a-gang, welcome welcome.
We've just initiated, we have,we have initiated you.
Welcome, welcome and don'tforget to like tell we will be
recording and dropping episodesweekly Every Friday Every Friday
all summer long, so share theseepisodes.
(01:00:52):
If you're watching on YouTube,please like, share, comment and
subscribe.
Also, if you're listening to uson Spotify or Apple Podcasts,
please remember to follow usright.
Yeah, they can follow and leaveus a review.
You can also email us or DM usany reviews, questions, comments
(01:01:12):
, inquiries, businesspartnerships, whatever.
Speaker 1 (01:01:15):
Our email is theadulthoodpod at.
Speaker 3 (01:01:19):
Gmailcom.
Speaker 1 (01:01:21):
And then our.
Speaker 3 (01:01:21):
Instagram is At theadulthoodpod.
All right, see you Bye, theadulthood pod.
Alright, see you bye.
Popular Podcasts
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.